Toni and Ryan - When can you CANCEL a wedding?

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Ryan has a VERY important decision to make!!! Love u! Toni xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Frio in Western Australia. Oh, Frio, way to go. Give it real hard and hit it, heave ho. Frio, the old heave ho. We are the Frio Dockers. This is Caitlin Hardy, and she said she hates the Dockers. And she is a West Coast Eagles fan.

She actually works for a place that I'd describe as like an absolute goldmine. Goldmine? Goldmine? Goldmine. Goldmine? You said goldmine. Hello, Caitlin. Oh, my gosh.

Hello. This is the funniest thing ever. Ryan just said the word goldmine instead of goldmine. It was very funny. That's so good. So I said where you work is a bit of a gold mine. Where do you work? So I work in, it's called Bamboo Creek.

It's like three hours inland of Port Hedland. And what do they do there? It's just a gold mine. We mine the gold. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah, okay. That's pretty funny. Would you approve today's podcast?

I would love to. Woo-hoo! Hey, it's Caitlin from Frio, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today. It's a video show, by the way. You can watch it on Spotify as well as listen. Yep. We are both wearing our Matilda scarves. We're so far onto the bandwagon.

We're driving the fucking bus. Woo! Quarterfinal tomorrow night. Yeah. Very exciting stuff. There's a scandal. What? Involving my family and the Matildas.

Oh. Is everything okay? No. No. Oh, no. No. Oh, no. I'll have an update soon.

And I think we've got some decisions to make as a family. Okay. And actually, I'm going to put it out there. Tarpers can probably play a role in deciding. Oh. So when I say this is my recommendation, I will have the support of the Tarp community. Oh, yep.

So it's not just like this is what Ryan thinks. It's like I've discussed it with many people. You're going in like backed with science. Yeah, and by science I mean like the support of strangers on the internet. Which is, I mean, if that's not science, what is? If there's frozen people in Holbrook, mate. Yeah, nah, yeah, nah, yeah, yeah. But first, there has been Kardashian slander in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.

I don't like it at all. Now, here at the Tony and Ryan podcast, we love seeing someone claim something relatively normal is an amazing coincidence. And old Kimmy has really taken the cake, hasn't she? Kim Kardashian has posted a photo of herself and her sister Khloe, and it said, in the caption, somehow in this crazy life we found each other. Sweezy's replied, yeah, having the same parents probably helped, hey?

I mean, what are the chances? What are the chances you'll find her? We have shared and heard some fucking silly coincidence chat. Yeah. Like I can admit that we have heard some silly coincidence chat. Yeah. But I think that we all know what she meant and that it was like, oh, my God, can you believe that like of all the sisters I could have had,

like you're my sister. I think that's really nice. All her sisters are her sister. No, but like her sister could have been the soul of Ivan Milat and it wasn't. You don't know that. Do you know what I mean? It could be anyone. Do you know

what I mean? No, not really. Like, you know in Scooby-Doo No, we don't back up science. No, we don't back up science. You know when in Scooby-Doo all of their souls fly out of their body? Yeah. Yeah, in the Damon writers gets opened up and whatever.

I imagine that when the baby is conceived and born, that when it's born. Why, which one? Okay, born. For ease, we'll go with born. That when it's born, that little soul from Scooby-Doo pops into the baby and that's the soul that is decided for the baby and the personality. So you reckon they were sucking souls from birth? Because I've seen those sisters do some of their interesting work.

Have you watched it? No, I don't watch things like that because it's for, like, other people's privacy. It's like when nudes get leaked online, No, I don't watch things like that because it's for, like, other people's privacy. It's like when nudes get leaked online, like, I would not look at something like that because they didn't, like. If it's leaked by yourself, is it still leaked? But I don't think that she leaked it. Oh, blasphemy.

Everyone knows that Kris Jenner, like, it was like a business ploy and it worked. Okay. But, like, that's just my, I just don't, like, watch that stuff. Because you remember when there was that big, like, hack in Hollywood, like, years ago? Yeah, that is fucked. And all those people's nudes got leaked and people were like,

oh, look at that. I'm like, no, they don't want me to see that. That's not my business. Yeah. So I don't watch that stuff. Yeah. But this is different because they put it out there. Anyway.

I'll leak today's podcast episode onto Spotify. It's actually available everywhere. Yeah. But this is different because they put it out there. Anyway. I'll link today's podcast episode onto Spotify. It's actually available everywhere. Okay. And everywhere else. It's linked onto Apple. But anyway, they're like, I just think that like, I get what she means by saying like, oh, my sister could have been anyone and it was you and we get along and whatever. Not everyone gets along with their siblings.

Hannah. Tap a Hannah's message through. Hi, Hannah. She's got a fucking seatbelt over there. Strap yourself in, mate. What? 21 years ago, Hannah was born in a hospital. Shocker.

Is that the call? Three years later, the same woman who gave birth to her gave birth to another child in the same hospital. And here's the coincidence. It turns out the other child was her sister. What are the chances? So Hannah's mum went to the same hospital twice? What are the chances? Hang on. Can you to the same hospital twice? What are the chances? Hang on.

Can you read Hannah's comment verbatim, please? 21 years ago, I was born in a hospital. Three years later, the woman who had me had another child in the same hospital. Oh, that's genuinely how she wrote it. Turns out the child is my own sister. Is she taking the piss? Absolutely. Oh, I was like, I thought you were adding a bit of mayo,

and I was like, what? Right, Hannah's playing the game. Holly. Now, I think this is legit from Holly. She works as a optician, optrician, optometrist. You're telling the story, mate. She works at a place that has, like, a reception. Hang on.

Hang on. What? At a place that has a reception, and I'm assuming it's a medical something because she has to check people's ID. Hotel. Optician. Can you Google optician? Optician is eyes.

Oh, well, then what's an optometrist? I think it's, well, like it's the same thing, but if you were like an optometrist is what you would call like the one in the shopping centre, but I guess if you were an optician maybe you're like a specialist. Okay, so it's like doctor and chiropractor, like sort of the same. But different level maybe? Or maybe it is the same thing, it's like colloquially different.

She works as an optician and she has thing, it's like colloquially different. She works as an optician and she has to verify people's date of birth. Sure. In the two years working in the small community of Nova Scotia, Canada, she has spoken to over 20 people that has the same birthday as her. Right into a podcast. First of all, who gives a fuck? Second of all, why are you remembering that?

Do you know, we went and looked... Sorry, I just have to derail this for a second. We went and looked at a house on the weekend. Yeah. And you know, to like go in, you walk up there and they fucking, you've got to give them your name and your phone number and your email and your fucking blood type and tell them what fucking last time he had a shit and whatever. They take all this fucking information from you. Yeah.

So we walk up there and he goes, oh, g'day, mate. And like talks to Torbz. Ignores me. Fair enough. Yep. And then says, oh, yeah, what's your name? Oh, yeah. What's your phone number?

Oh, yeah. What's your email? Torbz gives him his email. In Torbz's email address, he has, like, 8-9. Torbz 69. Yeah, but it's 8-9. It's, like, the year he was born. Right.

And the guy goes, oh, 89. And Torbz is like, yep. And he goes, oh, I'm an 89 boy myself. And Torbz goes, okay. And he goes, oh, what month? Torbz goes, okay. And he goes, oh, what month? Torbs goes, August. And he goes, ah, what date? And it is like the most uncomfortable thing.

And I'm like, I just want to go and look at this house. Like, what are you fucking doing to me? Killing me, dude. And he goes. Was it the same day? And he goes, oh, the third. Like, Torbs is just like, the third? Yeah.

And he goes, oh, a couple of days ago. Happy birthday, mate. And Torbs is like, thanks. And he goes, are you going to ask me what date mine is? He goes, no. And Torbs is like, what date is your birthday? And this guy's like, 17th in a couple of days. And then Torbs goes, okay.

And he goes, yes, happy birthday for the other day, mate. And then Torbs goes, happy birthday for next week. And he's like, oh, enjoy the house, guys. Yeah. That guy would enjoy this podcast. Yeah, he would. He'd love Coincidence Chat. But literally it went for about three minutes.

That's painful. And it was like standing like pulling teeth. And like this guy was just trying to be nice and whatever, but it was just like too much. All right. Legit or nah for this crazy coincidence. Anna had the same phone password for years, you know, the four digits. Yep.

And then she met a new boy last year and they had been dating for 12 months. And, you know, like after a while you kind of build the trust and whatever and she had to like order the pizza and she goes, oh, what's your password? Yep. The same four numbers. He had the same four numbers as hers. Is that a fucking coincidence or is that just like, nah?

That's quite good, I think. I think that's pretty good. That's a good one. That's a good one. Of all the coincidences we've heard. What are the chances of that? One in. High.

Low. Low. One in four? Nah. One in four? Nah. One in four? Go again. Don't be nasty. Go again.

No, I don't want to. I don't know what it is. I'll give you a clue. If all of the numbers were nines, you'd get pretty close to the answer. Four. I don't know. I feel bullied. I don't like it.

What is the chances? It'd have to be 10,000, wouldn't it? Oh, so no one else knows. I was put on blast. Well, it's more than four. Finger blast. Well, 999 would be 9,999. And then 0000.

Why is that the chance? Oh, I see. Oh, is that how you figure it out? Well, that's just what it is. Oh, no. It would be like trillions of combinations of 0 to 9999. He's assuming that like it's gone up sequentially. That wouldn't take into account doing like instead of 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 3, 2, 4.

Yeah, but think of a number that's not between 1 and 10,000 that has four digits. Would that be all the different orders? Oh, yeah, it would be. No, it wouldn't, would it? How can you have a number higher? No, no, no, it's not about it being higher. Then how would it exist?

Would it be all the different orders, though? Yeah, but that's what numbers are. No, but if you went sequentially, though, would it have all of the different combinations that it could be? This is really funny because I'm so dumb. Same. But do you know the question I'm asking? I do, but no.

Because different orders would still be within. Yeah, like 9871 is still 9871. Yeah. Yeah, so that would be, so all the different, like that would take into account all of those. I'm genuinely asking, so it would. I don't know how I can. Yeah, it's 10,000.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Does that include? What about if it's a leap year? You're being a jerk and I'm genuinely saying like I'm not even backing something in that spot. I'm like actually sitting here and being like, I don't know, and you're like, oh, what if it's a leap year?

I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, right. I never really thought about it either until you said, what are the chances? And I went, what are the chances? 100% thousand. Yeah, okay. I could be wrong, but I'm going to say it with confidence. I think that's a good coincidence, though.

Either way, I think that that's quite sweet. Dave Mackey said, I once walked past a woman who was wearing a cologne similar to my mum's. Oh, my God. He goes, oh, that sounds like, not quite though. Is that my mum? Nah, almost my mum. Hayley Rose said, I started listening to the podcast from the beginning and after about a year of listening, I heard Ryan said he liked the names Larry and Gary for boys. Remember when I wanted to have twin boys and call them Larry and Gary?

Yeah. Hayley says, my grandpa and his twin are named Larry and Gary. That's also not bad, I guess. Again, not to fucking say the demonised phrase, but what are the chances of that? Like, that's kind of like an interesting story. I'm fucking nervous. I'm going to have to take this off.

I'm sweating. I've got my own coincidence. And I don't know if it's interesting. Oh, be cool. I'm backing it in coincidence and I don't know if it's interesting. Oh, big call. I mean, you just. I'm backing it in, but I'm nervous. I'm afraid to say anything because I asked a question about maths earlier. I don't want to be accused of being the real estate agent,

but it's similar. Okay. Fuck. My jacket's off. I'm sweating. I'm nervous. You've just got no idea how awkward that was. Okay. Fuck. My jacket's off. I'm sweating. I'm nervous. You've just got no idea how awkward that was. No, I'm not.

And I'm like settling myself in for it to be as awkward as that. Everyone, let me know if you think this is a crazy coincidence. Fuck, I'm so nervous. And when you started telling that real estate story, I was like, Oh, no. It sounds similar and you don't like it. Well, did you like it? No, I hated every part of it.

Hated more now than when you told it. At the moment I'm being, just finished actually the process of getting like life insurance and a will because we've got the new baby so we're like done all the paperwork and stuff like that. And there's often questions about family history. As you know, being adopted, it's always a bit weird. Yeah. Well, not weird, but just like there's no answer.

Yeah. And I said to the guy, the lawyer. The guy? The lawyer is drawing up all the papers and I said, oh, I'm actually adopted, so blah, blah, blah. And he goes, oh, I'm adopted as well. Oh. And so what I do on my forms is, you know,

and it's like we have these little, the chats you can only have with other adopted people. A hundred percent. And because he's in the law game, I was like, oh, that's actually a great tip that I'll probably use every second year for the rest of my life. And then he said, oh, he goes, oh, have you ever like met your family or anything?

And I was like, oh, actually, like, yeah, I did a DNA test. And so we kind of just got chatting about that. You're paying by the hour, I remember. Yeah, I know. And I got charged. And he's like, oh, mate, tell me more. He's like, I could talk about this all day. Do you remember?

I actually think this is spooky and a great coincidence. I love spooky shit. The year I was adopted. Yep. coincidence. I love spooky shit. The year I was adopted, there was 15 children that were available for adoption that year. Fuck off. And there was like a thousand families seeking a child for adoption.

And I often think that's a thousand alternative lives. So what are the chances of that? Seven. This guy was one of the other 15. No, he fucking wasn't. And we said, what year? 87? Me too.

What date? Sorry, what month? June. Me too. And so it turns out he was born 10 days before I was and we were both like on the same list. And so quite easily he could have been placed with my mum and dad and I could have been placed with his mum and dad and I could have been placed with his mum and dad

and we would have just had each other's lives. Well, that's not how it works. As in like our last name where we grew up, schools we went to. That is insane. There's only 15 per year. And like I said, it's just like luck of the draw. They obviously try to place families in areas and stuff like that. But his birth mother was also in the northern suburbs of Melbourne.

So it would have been the same. And I said, oh, which agency? You know, it's birth, deaths and marriages, but there's like a special little department, I guess. And he's like, yep, did you go to this place? Yep. Was your lady this and did you get that yellow slip piece of paper? So he's one of the other 15 people.

That is insane. Is it? Is it? A crazy coincidence. That is a crazy coincidence. I'm actually offended that you thought that was the same as the real estate agent talking about his birthday. But what day?

That is a great story. And how, that is like insane. Yeah. That is a really crazy story. I go, were your parents nice? And he goes, yeah. And I go, were they better than mine? And you go, oh, because I got a couple of good ones.

Are you interested? I got some good ones. Trading, like parent trap. I don't want to get buyer's remorse. Yeah. Yeah, it's been 30 years. Do they still have like an exchange program or something? There's two families and there's two kids and then the guy's like,

yeah, my parents were shit and I'm like, oh, tough break. Imagine if you're going through like this whole story and it's like this beautiful story and like what an insane coincidence or whatever. He goes, yeah, I was born 10 days before you. You go, oh, almost. Can twins be 10 days apart? Oh, fuck.

That would have been good. Yeah. But that's my coincidence story. That's a good story. Okay. That's a good story. Okay. Do we leave it there?

Do I finish with a shit one? Oh, finish with a shit one if you got one. It's almost too heartwarming. For this show. Yeah. Did I already tell the story about the numbers on the phone? Oh, fuck, of course I did. What about the cologne?

Yep, did the cologne. Did I do Larry and Gary already? Yeah. Oh, God. Yep, and we're twins. Fuck. Real nose diving in here. I just realised I already read them all.

Great. And then Kim Kardashian was like, oh, how did I find you? Fuck it. Hey, it's Caitlin from Frio and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A big shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Ainswee. Hi, Ainswee. Eric Gustafsson, Dean Mineta, Kira Lawson and Corey Ellis.

Why did you look at me there? She's a Mineta McGuirk. You're okay. Dean Mineta. She's a Mineta. But she's a Mineta. Oh, yeah. Nelly Furtado.

Yeah. Where's she now? Oh, she's like a bird. She flew away. Yeah. And good for her. Yeah. Anyway, thank you so much for being part of the show.

Join the Facebook group. A lot of the crazy stories we talk about on this come through the Facebook group. A lot of the crazy stories we talk about on this come through the Facebook group. And if you'd like to see coincidences before we talk about them on the podcast, it's the place to be. There is hundreds of comments on that thread. Oh, and there should be. I like that people just love talking about themselves. It's the same with Dream Chat.

It's nice to just, like, indulge your, like, whatever. I've just giving up. Did you lose interest in your own sentence? Yeah, I did. What about the rest of us? You're being nasty today. I'm sorry. There's a scandal in my family and I'm fucking, I'm lashing out on you

and that's not fair. It's actually not fair. Thank you. And I apologise. I appreciate that a lot. Thank you. Now I'm back on board and I'll finish the sentence. I can't remember what I was saying.

The two biggest TV events of 2023 in Australia have been the Matildas' last two games. Yeah. Like highest rating thing ever. Fucking insane.

And like every time something happens in the game, I can hear, because I live in an apartment building, you can hear everyone pop off, like, in their lounge room. It is the most amazing feeling. It'd be so funny because my internet's really shit that, like, you hear all these cheers and then two minutes later you hear me. Yeah. All right, the lag.

Aren't you just watching it on tv i don't have an antenna oh okay sure i have to watch it through the app so you're streaming right oh that's so annoying yeah that's what drains our internet which makes it even worse oh because i was like why aren't you just watching it like free to air dude but thing, and this was your ins for 2023, was free to air TV. Free to air TV. Tell me, Tony, about how you're loving watching the Tillys. I do really like it. I actually, I probably don't strike anybody as this,

but like I love watching sport. I just love being part of it. Though the sad thing about sport is that I hate that like half the people are sad at the end. Like it really bums me out that like half the people that are watching are going to be like gutted because they haven't won. That makes me feel a bit sad. So when the USA lost before the quarterfinals in like a really close

penalty shootout, were you like really sad for them? Well, I just feel sad for the like person that doesn't win. Yeah, it's like a bummer. Do you still feel sad for them that they said they were playing in Melby? Melby. Did you not see that? No. Oh, one of them tweeted, oh, I can't said they were playing in Melby? Melby. Did you not see that? No. Oh, one of them tweeted, oh, I can't wait to play tonight in Melby.

And then all of Melbourne went, no, you deserve to lose. We don't call it that. Yeah, fair enough. Remember when I said I was going to buy a house in Rezzy? And everyone's like, yeah, if you live here, we call it Reza. And if you call it Reza, you won't be allowed in. Yeah, and so it's sometimes good to have this inside knowledge. Anyway, but I really like watching sport.

I think it's really fun. I love that it brings everybody together. It's just so nice watching people excel at what they're good at, isn't it? Yeah. Like there is something so special about actually watching people just fucking thrashing the thing that they're really good at. Yeah. And so I've watched the Tillys games on the telly,

Tillys on the telly, though there was a bit of a scheduling conflict for the game on Monday night. So when they beat Denmark, 2-0, very exciting stuff. So the Hunted AU finale was on. Oh, the finale. It was the grand final episode. And so that was on Channel 10 at 7.30 till 9. And the Tilly started at like 8.45.

So I was like, all right, we're just going to have to watch. Girls, I fucking support you. Don't do anything cool in the first 10 minutes. Yeah, I'll be there in 10. You know when you message your friends because you're running a bit late? Be there in 10. I messaged Sam Kerr on Instagram. I said, girlfriend, I'll be there in 10 minutes.

Don't go on yet. Yeah, and she did. Wear your training jersey until you're ready, then we'll do the whole thing. When she got dressed, how exciting was that? You could hear Australia like cheering. It was fucking wild. I've never cheered for a girl putting clothes on before.

That's funny. Thank you. From you. Hilarious. And so we were like sitting on the edge of our seats watching the Hunted finale, which was amazing, by the way. And then we like scooted on over to 7 HD very quickly and then we fucking watched the Tillys until what, 10 o'clock or whatever it finished.

Were you loving it sick? Oh, so good. People was asleep on my lap and every time they fucking smashed something, I was like, fucking, people's like. So one of the games yesterday, it was at 11 in the morning and I realised it was because it was, I think, two European teams and they went, oh, it's prime time for them. And I'm like, who gives a shit over here?

So they chucked it on. It was in the morning. I saw that when the Brazil game was on that the government changed the civil servant times so that they could watch the game. How crazy. That's how big this thing is. And it's in our fucking country. Like, isn't that wild?

Don't change thoughts midway through the word country. Oh, sorry. What did I do? Did you hear that? I think it's passable. What did I do? Yeah, it's so good that it's in our country. Oh, sorry.

I didn't even notice I did that. Sorry. Casual scene, mum. It beat mine out too. There's a scandal in the family. Rachel's getting married tomorrow at the same time as the Matildas game. Ooh. The ceremony starts at five and the ceremony's at the place where the wedding is.

And so it's like we're there at five for the nuptials and then we're like six o'clock, you know, literally just move into the dining room and crack open. The Tilly's game starts at 5pm. So how are you going to wear your scarf under your suit? I don't think I'm going to the wedding. Have you? Oh, that's fucking.

And when they won on Monday night, they go, yeah, the next round looks like it's going to be Saturday. And I went. What time? Yeah, literally. Okay. What time are you thinking? Are you hoping that Rachel's going to be like the Brazilian government

and change the hours? That was funny. Thanks for laughing so hard. Well. But are you hoping that she's got a bit of wriggle room in her schedule? Could you move the make-up to earlier? We start a bit earlier. We do the game.

It's actually a really tight ship because it's like a restaurant. I think there's like a lunch sitting. And so the earliest they can get in at five. And then the dinner has to start by six or six thirty so they can finish on time. So then to squeeze the ceremony. But like it's a very start by 6 or 6.30 so they can finish on time so then to squeeze the ceremony. But, like, it's a very – is a rigid the word? Specific, yeah.

Like you have to be there on time. And to the point where because we've got, like, a pram and a baby, we've got a message that's like, by the way, if you've got a pram and a baby, there's a side door. You can use the lift between 4.40 and 4.50 so you can get up to, like, level three where the thing is because during the service they won't use the lift because. It's noisy or whatever.

Yeah. So when you go, oh, is there a bit of wiggle room? No. I don't think so. I don't think so. You don't work well on no wiggle room. No, I need to wiggle. I'm a wiggler.

Yeah. And also. That's not good for you. Darcy, who is about to become part of the family he's a sports guy oh he's he gonna have the earpiece in do you reckon yeah i was gonna say like you know the like episodes of friends when they're at like a funeral or a wedding and all the boys like those yeah um portable tvs with the big antenna oh is that gonna be you You're streaming from inside your jacket like this. Oh, beautiful.

Fuck. Now, I haven't spoken to Rach because I've only just put two and two together. It's not good news. That's for sure. But do you reckon she'll be Devo or just not give a fuck? Because not that, like, everyone's going to obviously, like, go to the wedding and watch it and enjoy it. But you just know that, like.

Think about how big the last two games have been. People who don't watch sport are watching sport. The next day at work, everyone's like, oh, my God, did you watch the game? The build-up, the pump-up, we're making history. It's in our own country. Yeah. Sorry, I was at a wedding. Oh.

That's tough. And because it's not even like, okay, I'm obviously not going to watch it. I'm obviously going to go to the wedding, right? But you just know that you're like, fuck, how are they going? How are they going? How are they going? And then you're at the dinner and they're like, oh, we can't believe we found each other.

What are the chances of us finding each other? And you're like, fuck, one nil, all right. Is there? You know what I mean? Like your curiosity and you'll be like fiending to know what's going on. Can you think of a bigger example of FOMO? Oh, no, I actually can't. Samantha Kerr does a fucking backflip twist thing

and kicks the goal of the fucking century and like breaks the world. I go, oh, where were you when Samantha Kerr did this? That's how much Cathy Freeman ran in the 2000 Olympics. Oh, my God, yeah. Where were, I know exactly where I was sitting. You remember seeing the outfit for the first time, everything, yeah. And what were you doing, Ryan? Oh, I was having the chicken or the beef.

Yeah, oh, alternate drop, is it? Fuck, don't go. Yeah. Tell them you got COVID. Yeah. Oh, oh. COVID's in play, surely. Does anyone have COVID? Tell them you got COVID. Yeah. COVID's in play, surely. Does anyone have COVID?

Could they lick Ryan in the next 20 minutes? I will tongue-pash the back of your throat. Oh, I might have it. I've been exposed. There isn't anyone in this world I wouldn't tongue-patch for COVID today. I hope Rachel's not listening. Congratulations, babe, if you are. Oh, fuck. She actually loves the podcast.

And her sister, Bonnie. No, they're cousins. They're cousins. Sorry, I knew that they weren't sisters. Embarrassing. That is embarrassing for me. Well, actually, you're a part of this wedding in a way because I believe at 2am on the Hens

Night you got a video. I was involved in the Hens Night. Yes. Yeah. Threw a few links down. I wasn't there. But yeah, that's crook and that sucks that you're going to miss it. But you know what?

Maybe I could text you, like, some updates. Updates. Should I text the family group chat now? Because no one's mentioned it yet. Oh, God. Tilly's got through. Don't know if anyone saw that. There's not a person in Australia that doesn't know.

Like, on the news and stuff, it was like, breaking news, they're through from overnight. Like, isn't that just wild? Fuck. You love to see that. Can that be why you love to see it? I know that right now love to see that. Can that be why you love to see it? I know that right now you're texting, but could that be why you love to see it? It can be.

Yeah, great. I'm saying 5pm Saturday is the Matildas next game. Anyone free to watch it? That's funny. Is it funny? Yeah, that's funny. Except I don't know if you've ever heard this. You said that's funny and I pressed send and then you go, yeah, except.

Have you ever heard the term bridezilla? What are you saying about my dear cousin Rachel? No, I'm asking. What are you saying about Rachel? Has it been quite like, because you're saying, you know, there's no wiggle room. There's like, you know, it's quite a stringent thing because of where they're getting married and, you know, whatever. Has she been a bit stressed?

She's probably not going to see the funny side of that text message. Why don't you tell me that before I send her? She's getting married tomorrow. She's getting married tomorrow. Why don't you tell me that before I send it? She's getting married tomorrow. Why don't you tell me that before I send it? She's getting married tomorrow and you've just sent her that text. One person in the family's seen it. Who was it? Oh, God. Oh, it was Linda. Oh, she'll appreciate that. Please do a laugh emoji, Linda.

Give me some support before Rage season. Oh, yeah, you need a bit of backup. Well, yeah, I'll lick your face after this, just in case I do have COVID. If anyone does have COVID, please send an email to Annie Melbourne. You're going to go to the wedding. You're going to have a great time.

I'll text you the updates. I'm going to wear my new jacket. You're going to wear your new jacket. My new jacket is green, Matilda's colours. Great. It'll go well with the scarf. Yeah. Oh, if you wear that scarf to a wedding, I will not be at work on Monday.

Are you just trying to get a long weekend? Yeah. I've got a wedding on. No one's replied yet. Yeah, probably for the best. Should I drop a ha-ha? Nah. It's too late now. No, no, no.

Yeah, because people will see, like, the time has changed. You've got to do that right away. It's too late now. My family doesn't get it. Oh. right away. It's too late now. My family doesn't get it. Do they say, no, Ryan, we have the wedding on? No, the opposite. Linda said, how exciting. Australia also

won the netball the other week. I've been enjoying watching the sport. Does she know there's a wedding on? Is she invited to the wedding? Yeah, Aunty Linda. She got COVID at the hen's party. Oh, great. Hopefully she's still got it.

Hopefully. Now she's been watching so much sport. She's got nothing else on. My Love to See It fucking made me piss. I got it suggested to me from a Facebook group called Addicted to Gardening. So you know that it's fucking all 100% gold. Hang on. hang on. You're in the group?

No, I had the group, like, sponsored to me, like, suggested post for you kind of thing. Okay, well. I am not addicted to gardening. I'm addicted to laughs, and this is what this provided. Okay. Thanks. Megan McKinney posted this in this group.

Right, I've stolen this. And the original post says, Megan has written, please enjoy this as much as I am. I've been watching this single very tall flower grow in my front yard. Stay with me. I had my boyfriend yank up the flower for me to see what it is,

and it's actually like this flower has grown from like a bulb of garlic. Ah. So they pull it out and they go, oh, my God, like we can use this for cooking. And Megan says, anyway, we were making dinner last night. I wanted a picture with my trophy before we took the bulb off, but I wasn't wearing any pants. And she goes, oh, no worries.

I'll just block out the part where my pants are because she's got one of those phones where it's like, oh, yeah, like magic eraser. Eraser. Yeah. Magic eraser. No big deal. She highlighted the part that she wanted gone in the photo, hit removed, and the phone photoshopped it.

And she goes, I can't stop laughing. This is the part. I'll get Franco to put it on the screen now. So this plant is, is like taller than her. It's like one and a half of her. But the leg. How do you even describe her? How does she do it?

Like, I don't know. It's like the Google phone's gone. I know what this girl wants. She wants to just be legless and be moulded into the plant and the thing behind her. But then her socks and her feet and her dog are all in it. And then this is her attempt at just fixing it herself and it's just a big white square over where, like, her knickers are. Well, good on her for attempting the technologies.

I thought it was so sweet. And then she says, I'm an accountant by trade, but I very clearly have missed a calling in graphic design. As someone who is also an accountant by trade and who has also missed a calling in graphic design, I agree with you there. I'll get Franco to put that up on the screen if you're watching the video show and I'll get Producer Cam to pop it in the Facebook thread.

But it just gave me the best laugh because just like, if you can't laugh at yourself, you know, and she's just like having fun with it. And I thought that was so sweet. I don't think murderers are getting enough sympathy during this cost of living crisis. Headline at CrimeFeed.com. Why do so many murderers bury their victims in their own backyards? Is the headline.

And the top comment is from Mandy, not my mum. Yes. This is my love to say at this comment. Mandy says, Not everyone has the trunk space or gas money to drive to the middle of nowhere to dump bodies. Check your privilege. We're all out here doing our best in the current economy.

Well, if you're burying in your own backyard, you're not a renter, are you? Because you can't affect anything if you're renting. So, you know what? You own your own property. Must be nice. Must be bloody nice. Oh, Mandy, what side of the argument are you on? My God.

Could you imagine the cops being like, oh, who did the crime? And then they go, oh, it's either between Mandy or the other suspect. And then they read that comment and go, should we go give Mandy a call? Maybe check her back out. Let's give Mandy a ring. Let's see. Oh, she's only got a Getz, so we know she hasn't transported the podcast. Yeah, and now the side of the Getz is a shovel.

And a heap of dirt. Yeah. Good on you, Nanny. You'll have to see that. Yeah. Don't leave anyone behind this Cosy Lives crisis. Check on your mates. It's bothering everyone. It's affecting us all. Thank you so much for listening or watching on Spotify. Go Tillies tomorrow. Go Tillies tomorrow.

Go Tillies tomorrow. Fuck yeah. Hopefully they fucking stay in. Just an update. Family still doesn't get it. Yep. Okay. Maybe you've been uninvited.

Please. Please. Go Tillies. We'll see you Monday. Love you. Bye.