Toni and Ryan - White at a Wedding

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan and we are calling Brittany who's in Um, are you reading squirmish Canada? That's what it says. Beautiful. Nice this time of year. Yeah Love getting squirmish with Brittany. Surely that's a joke. I mean you just run out of names eventually wouldn't you? No because they just reuse them all. Hello? Brittany! Brittany! They just reuse them all. They keep reusing them.

Hello? Brittany! Oh, my God. I'm so excited. I just told my boss, I was like, they're not calling. Oh, we're sorry. We're running late and it's Ryan's fault. It is my fault.

Because is Squirmish the real name of your town or is that like a joke? It's Squamish. Squamish. Oh, okay. So that sounds, it's less than. Yeah, it's a location that autocorrect doesn't accept as a real location. Oh, okay. So that sounds, it's less than. Yeah, it's a location that autocorrect doesn't accept as a real location. Oh, yeah. When I first got a phone, every time I wrote my name,

it either autocorrected to tonight or tong. That's annoying. Like a barbecue tong. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm used to that. Googling your own name, mate. Well, C9 likes my name as Critnew.

Oh, Critnew. Critnew. Oh, Critnew from Squamish. Will you approve today's podcast, Brittany? I couldn't be happier to do so. Yes. Oh, and we were worried we were going to get a bit Squamish if you didn't. Oh, no.

Okay. Hi, it's Brittany from Squamish, Canada, and I approve this podcast? All right, this is a video show, so as well as listening to it on your podcasting app, you can also watch it on the Spotify app if you so please. It's nice to be back on a video show, I feel. It's good to be back on a video show. Yeah. I put my best bed shirt on. That's good.

It doesn't look like a bed shirt. That's a nice one. Thank you very much. Maybe it's different over where you live. Clothes are nicer. Are they? Mate, you live in the trendy inner north, mate. You are in the fancy town. I wasn't asking for that. Well, you were. And coming up today. Biggest day of the year. Second biggest. I think the biggest is the finale.

The exchange. The Christmas episode. Yeah. Which, by the way, for those playing along at home, oh, my God, I opened my calendar and I'm like three years ahead. That happened to me the other day because we got a letter from somewhere and it was like, you need to lodge this at the end of 2025. And I was like, how will I remember that?

And then so I put it in my calendar and then the next day I'm on the phone and someone's like, can you do that on Tuesday? And I'm like, yeah. I'm pretty free. 2025? I've got nothing else on. I'm free, mate. Our Christmas episode will be Friday, December 22nd.

But today we will be drawing the secret Santa to see who's gotten who. Because we need a bit of time to get the gifts. In two weeks. Fuck, this year's gone fast. It's quick. Yeah. I hate to be one of those people that says, fuck, this year's gone fast. But fuck, this year's gone fast.

It actually has. I've had not a spare minute at all. Really? Since the end of last year. Yeah. Where's time gone? You certainly haven't had spare time to go stand up paddle boarding. I don't know why you have to be so rough.

Yeah, nah, that was rough. Not untrue, but rough. Like, I'm just trying to live my best life. And I actually am. And I think you're gutted by it, to be honest. No, as I said off air before when we had a similar chat, I want you to live your best life by doing the things you want to do. But I am.

And I go and I try something and I have fun. Then I go, that was great. Like, I'm having a great time. I don't know why everyone's fucking weird about it um all right uh that's coming up soon oh you're so nasty um it's wedding season yep and also it almost being christmas it's family season that what did you say family beef season when you haven't seen that auntie for since bloody last christmas and you go oh i know that she's gonna talk to me about like some horrible racist thing that she said or bring up that thing she always brings up and then it ends up being that

like auntie norma and auntie kathleen haven't spoken in eight years because of the christmas pudding from fiasco from whenever and And there's just always some family drama. Like there's just. If anyone looks like they're going to have a Christmas pudding fiasco this year, can you message through? Because I've got spare puddings from a fiasco last year. I don't want an eight-year-old pudding. No, that's pudding.

It soaks. It does. I don't think I've ever had it. Really? No, it wasn't something that my mum had at Christmas. Well,aks. Does it? I don't think I've ever had it. Really? No, it wasn't something that my mum had at Christmas. Well, do you want some? Because I've got a lot because again, there was a fiasco last year where we ended up with a lot. Well, then you just don't have to

like it. I reckon with a bit of you're not a bird guy. I reckon with a bit of custard. Oh, you didn't say that was custard. Yeah, so, but I reckon if you don't love Christmas pudding, just get the ratio right with the cousin. By ratio right, I mean like...

Douse it. Yeah. Yeah. And you'll figure it out. I mean, we've gotten off track pretty quickly talking about Christmas. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, that's okay.

So this story's gone va-va-va-viral about a wedding, and not just any wedding, but a beautiful wedding. Yep. And it's gone viral for the wrong reasons. And as someone that creates content for a living, it's the right reason for me. It's the right reason for us today. We've got five episodes a week, sweetheart.

Yeah, we've got to fucking fill it with something. So the headline is, obnoxious wedding guest who wore a white dress to the ceremony and then posed front and centre in photos sparks hilarious online backlash. If you're watching the video show, it'll be up here now. Have a look. Have a look at that person who's not the bride standing in the middle

of that photo dressed in white. And she really catches the eye. She does. And she is like shimmied up to the groom, who is very clearly the groom in the front there. And then there's some random other chick who happens to be the bride off to the side. Yeah, and she's kind of, the way that she's, like,

laughing and bending over, you can't see her dress. What did you say? It is her wedding night. Yeah. The way that she's kind of like laughing and crouching down, you can't see her as strikingly as you can see this woman. And at first I thought, oh, you know, it's the mother of the bride. Someone important.

You know, that's okay. She's front and centre obviously for a reason. She's proud. Everywhere in this article it just says wedding guest and like my husband's relative. It's just some bitch that's at the wedding. Like it's not the mother of the bride. I'm going to wear white and I'm going to stand right in the middle

of this big group photo and take all the attention. And it is a very like she's even wearing white tights and white shoes. And it's not just like a light. It's real white. It's like crisp white. If your teeth were that white, there'd be something wrong with you. Yeah, that's veneers for sure. Yeah, now you go, whoa.

Yeah, yeah. That's like. Like your teeth, mate. Yeah. That's like when you watch Love Island. Yeah. And you go, oh, fresh. First of all, I mean, there's a lot of things to be unpacked

here, but first of all, wearing white to a wedding. I wouldn't have thought so. I think there can be, there can be white. Obviously most dudes will be wearing a suit with a white shirt underneath. Yeah. But I think it's the only white for me that does it in. Oh, so if it was like white. She's got a white shirt and then like a white blouse thing over the top, I think. It's like a suit. It's like a wedding suit, yeah. Like have a white coat and a bloody coloured dress or a shirt or something that's just something that's not white. Or if it was like a white base but like with a floral pattern on it

or something to break it up. Even that is a bit too close for comfort for me. Yeah. I also like there's lots of people getting married now that don't wear white. And I think in that situation, like, I mean, say if the bride's wearing a red dress or something and you don't know and you wear red, you'd be pretty embarrassed.

This person has had, like, a 99% chance of not wearing the same colour as the bride and that's just like gone for it anyway. Have you ever been to a wedding where that happened or there was like a bit of biffle on the day about like someone wearing the same dress as someone else? Well, first of all, the two hottest girls in my year at Eltham High both wore the same dress to the formal. Same ball dress.

Oh, no. Holly and Charlotte. Oh, shattered. They were actually great about it, but it was kind of funny. But they were both hot. Yeah. Yeah. And also it was like a very, like a statement dress.

It wasn't like, oh, we've both got a black dress. It was like, no, they've both gone, oh, yeah. So I never went to my ball, but one of the places, I went and looked at dresses before I decided I wasn't going to go. And it was like when you walked in there, they were like, what school do you go to? Yeah. And what year are you in or like whatever. And they'd be like, oh, someone from Lumen Christi

has already bought that dress so you can't buy it. I think our school would never be organised enough to any kind of thing like that. Oh, it wasn't. The school didn't organise it. Oh, no, but, like, yeah, I just, like, yeah. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying. When you went to the dress shop, it was like,

what school do you go to? Yeah, no one would admit to going to my school. Like, you go to the shop and they go, what school do you go to? Don't fucking talk to me. You never admit you go to Alphamore. Oh, but, like, it was so that you shop and they go, what's good? And you go, don't fucking talk to me. You never admit you got Alphamoe. Oh, but like it was so that you didn't then go, oh, someone from Loom and Christie's already bought that.

We like won't sell you that dress, which I thought was really nice. That is a nice thing. To avoid like that happening. Yeah. Because, I mean, there's only a handful of ball dresses and the statement ones, you know, you don't want to rock up wearing the same thing. I do think I've seen a, it wasn't a white dress, but it was like a very light coloured something.

And I think it was. A bit too close. Yeah, but I think what made it worse, I don't know if this sounds really fucked up, but this girl was just like so hot and tall. The Pippa Middle turn of it all. Like tall and hot and in a very light coloured. Like it was just very much like.

Just a bit of a showstopper. It was a showstopper. And you went, she looks gorgeous. She looks incredible. Bride, pretty good too. Yeah. Which is not what you want. Oh, that's so upsetting.

I've got some more beef. And my beef is with the photographer. Yeah, I think it's a great point. If you're a wedding photographer and some fucking auntie swans in in a white thing and stands front and centre, I reckon it's up to the photographer to go, because the bride and groom are slightly off to the side. Yeah.

It's up to the photographer to go, hang on. And they always do. You guys a little bit to the left. You guys, oh, you at the back, we can't quite see. And, like, he needs to have seen this shot and gone, nah. But the photographer also is, is like not a family member. He doesn't know it's not the mum. You're right.

Oh, well, I mean, that's a great point. But what I was going to say is it doesn't create beef because the photographer going, oh, you in white, like, oh, we'll pop you in the back, like, ha. Yeah, he's in this in party. He's fine. It's not Aunty Kathleen going, oh, well, Doreen, you're standing right at the front and we can't see little Katie

and her wedding dress. Great call. You know? Like, it's then like it's not, it's like that third party that doesn't give a fuck who it is in the white dress but just needs to get them the hell out of there. I also think the more I look at this photo, the more, and obviously I'm a little bit biased,

but the old duck in the white looks like a bit of a c***. She does. I don't know what it is, but she set my teeth on edge as well. I don't know if that's that treasy grin, like she knows what she's doing. She knows what she's doing. Yeah, what a bitch. Can't be without that C word. One of the reasons that this went viral is because someone-

We aren't even at the good video. And I don't know whether it was the bride or just someone from the wedding because the post has since been removed, but it was posted into Reddit into a Photoshop request group. Perfect. Where someone said, so this is an anonymous post. Again, I don't know. Oh, actually, no, it is the bride.

My husband's relative wore white to our wedding and pushed our parents and wedding party out of the way to be in the front set. She is a bitch. Can someone Photoshop her dress to black? I'd like to frame this and send it to her with the new dress color. Send it to her. This is what the original post says.

Bit of spice in the comment. Yeah. It's not like so we can hang it on the wall. It's to send it to her. To be like, hey, you've fucked up here. You've fucked up here. And just like Photoshop request groups and pages do online, they have really, really delivered.

We'll pop some up on the screen so you can see them in the video show. One is her Photoshopped as the devil and, like, right at the front. The front. You made it so much bigger. That's so good. One is, like, some random guy has been Photoshopped in instead of her, which actually looks amazing. And it's like, wow, remember when she wasn't at our wedding?

It was so much better. And that guy kind of looks nice. He does look nice. But, yeah, somebody commented. So this is before the post got deleted. White dress, white pantyhose, white shoes. What the hell was she thinking? Yeah.

She's old enough to know better. She is. But isn't that just like the most cutting comment? She's old enough to know better. Like did your like parents or something ever say that? Like, oh, Tony, you know better than that. And you go, oh, my morals. Like it makes you like question the like fibre of your being.

Did you know better than that though when that was used on you? Probably not. Yeah, because makes you, like, question the, like, fibre of your being. Did you know better than that, though, when that was used on you? Probably not. Yeah, because that's a great defence when you go, actually, no. Actually, I'll... I'll stop you right there, Mum. I'm actually a fucking idiot. Yeah, I'm actually a moron. No, I didn't know any better.

Yeah, I didn't know any better. But this woman, she's 800 years old. She definitely could have known a bit better. Oh, in the devil photo, they've done a number on her teeth as well. They've fanged her up. But is that what she actually looks like? But we just can't see it. That's her true form.

Yeah. Maybe this actually isn't a Photoshop. It's that, like. From the engagement party. It was a live photo. And the Beelzebulb, like, flashed up during that. And the photographer went, whoa, what the fuck is that? That's an episode of Supernatural, I reckon.

Hey, it's Brittany from Squamish, Canada and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Brittany Morrison. Good on you, Brittany. Thank you. I kind of need to poo, so that's that.

That would remind me of. Nicholas Rohady. Yes. Quick game's a good game. Nicholas Rohady. Yeah, so let's fight. Quick game's a good game. Nicholas Rohady. Thank you so much, Nick. Marcus Frost. MF.

Motherfucker. Nick Lindstrom. Thank you so much, Nick. Michael Crossman. Oh, be a bit happier. Don't be Crossman. Shelley Himmel, right? Himmel, wrong.

And Lucinda Hazel. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. She's got Betty Hazel ass. Is that the same one as last time? Uh, yeah. Have you fucked up? No, that was Rob Hazel. Oh.

This is Lucinda Hazel. She's got Lucinda Hazel ass. But I still don't know what song you're doing. Are they related? I don't know. I haven't spoken to them about it. We've never hazeled before and suddenly we've got two in a few days. Hazel is an OG champion tarpa, actually.

And that's how I knew it. Lucinda Hazel is. And Rob's a new one. Okay. Yeah, so. She's got Betty Hazel eyes. Yeah. Ooh.

Oh, and all tiers of TARPA from our Patreon, they'll be scrolling across the video show. Yep. Before we get into the Secret Santa draw for 2023, I think we need to do a quick recap of the gifts from 2022. We could go back to 2021 if you like. What did we do? I can't remember.

I know what you got me. What did I get you? Float voucher. Oh, yeah. That was a good one. What did I get you? I got you something good as well. I can't remember what it was.

Neither can I. It must have been pretty great. It was obviously really good. It would have been good, though. You do do good. What did I get you? Someone will put it in the comments. Yeah. Oh, that's really annoying

i love it though oh yeah apparently big fan um and then last year um i bought you a beautiful piece of original art yeah that's in mabel's bedroom for your daughter's well at the time it wasn't necessarily for your daughter's room, but you were working on a big, like, gallery wall. You were very into pinks and purples, so I bought you a lovely piece of art. Thank you very much. Mabel loves it. She looks at it all the time.

She loves colours. Yeah, I love that it's in her room. It makes me feel very special. And I got you a private cinema in Brisbane to watch your favourite movie, Harry Potter 4. Yes. Well, it was supposed to be a private cinema in Melbourne for me to just watch it and it ended up being a public cinema for-

No, it's private. For all tarpers, but it wasn't like 10. Yeah, tarpers, not random strangers. It was like 100 tarpers. Yeah, but it wasn't like 10 people, which is what it was promised to me as. Oh, sorry that I like including friends and tarpers. Oh, here we go. Now, BJ got your dog Pippa a photo shoot.

Where are we up to? Yeah, I haven't done it. I haven't done it. You'll remember earlier in the podcast. I haven't had a spare. You said that. You accepted that. Yeah, I knew when you said that.

I was like, you're just saying that so you can recall it now. But you didn't because you yelled at me about the stand-up paddleboarding instead. Grumpy today. Something's wrong. Everything okay, babe? I done something. Fuck off. Yeah.

So is there time between now and Christmas to get that done? Let me rephrase that. There's time between now and Christmas to get that done. Will you do it? Okay. So I do have a little bit of bad news. They will extend it. Well, it expires today.

They will extend it. Okay. If she'll extend it, then I'd – because you know what I would actually love to do? My present for you this year is the extension. No. Okay. Hang on. Okay.

Pause. Let's come back to that. Okay. We're coming back to that. But I would actually love to do it at the house. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Because you know how when, and this was not, I'm not going to lie and be like, I was waiting

till we were, I'm not going to, I don't bullshit you because I love you and we're friends, we're family. But now that I was there, I was like, that would be amazing. These beautiful memories in the house. To get it done at the new house. And then it's like Torbs and I could be in it. Oh, so you're just going to hijack Pippa's present? Well, it's a pet photography and owner session.

Okay. I've got to open here. Owners or owner? Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Depends who gets to the vet first. Yeah. Yeah.

Definitely. If I get down there and she's a lod lodge, then she's fucking getting it with me. Some really well-taken family portraits of the three of you in the new house would be beautiful. Don't you think that would be really nice? In the hot tub? A little sexy one? No.

Can you imagine people would bob around like a dumpling? She'd be like, she roasts like a little... Floating around in her broth. In her life jacket. Yeah. Her little ears are red because she's so hot. Like she fucking. Oh, yeah, she wouldn't like the heat.

No, she would boil like a dumpling. But, yeah, I thought that would be really nice. So I might actually reach out to Erin King Pet Photography and see if, yeah yet she might do a bit of an extension i hope she's still in business well she's taken the money like you've already paid for it so a year ago um so i guess like what i wanted to bring up is that vouchers, I don't use them. Please don't get me a voucher. Okay.

Because I put it off and I feel guilty about like the floats, such a good idea, but I just feel guilty about like going and doing something nice myself. So I never use it. And then I feel bad and then I'm like stuck between feeling bad about wanting to do something nice for myself and feeling bad that I haven't used the voucher. And where do you mix in your thoughts about the gift is for the giver into all of this anxiety? That's the bad part of this left hand side. What's the good part?

I just burst into flame. Okay. So nothing that you have to like go and do. I just think that you know me and I'm not good with admin and if I have to organise it. Admin, turning up for a massage is not admin. I'm just not good at doing things. I'm so tiny.

I'm so tiny and there's just no way that I can go and do things. Yeah, I can't pass a voucher because I'm so small. What are you talking about? Okay. Okay, no vouchers. I just think that like a voucher. Hey, you're implying that I'm going to get you again. That's a really good point.

In fact, before we do any more, we should draw. Should we draw? And then we can negotiate. Then we can negotiate. Would you like to do the honours, my love? I'll go first. And this year, are dogs in it or nah? Was that too much work?

Considering I know there's no dogs names in there. Dogs aren't in there. Yeah, okay. Would you like to do dogs? Nah. Should we, before we see who we got, or we'll do this after? Okay, yeah. Okay.

That's Pippa's elf hat, by the way, for anybody. Yeah, we're drawing from, thanks. Okay, between Tony and Ryan. Don't. I don't want to know who you got. I'll destroy again. Yeah, you can't get yourself. Oh.

Oh. Oh, you sound happy with who you got. There you go. All right, now I'll go. And close your eyes. I'll show the camera. I don't know if we can zoom in, but they can see. Tony, you can open your eyes.

Okay. Okay. Close your eyes. I'll show the camera. That's good. That's a good one. Okay. Should we talk about spending limits?

Yeah, we need to. We need to be stopped. Okay. Should we both say a number? Like we'll count down from three and we both say a number? Like we'll count down from three and we'll say a number. I don't know. Because. And no one's allowed to go over this year.

Are we doing like a gift we actually want? Like are we doing a hint list or are we coming up with. We don't do waste here. You're right. We don't. We don't waste things. Mate, do you know how much America costs us? We are not here to waste stuff. I know, yeah. We're hemorrhaging cash.

Fuck. The exchange rate is fucking... Yeah. Yeah. And the thing is that when you do things for free, you don't make any money. Money, yeah. Someone should have told us that before we left.

Yeah, no, I think we definitely need a limit. But I'm wondering because like Torbs and I like kind of don't really do Christmas gifts. Is there something that you actually want? Do you want to give me like a hint list? No, I know that you know me well enough to know what I want. Okay, good. Would you like to give me a hint?

No. No, okay. What you like to give me a hint? No. No. Okay. What's the limit then? We'll count. We'll go three, two, one, and then we'll say a number. Okay. Three, two, one, $30.

Oh, my God. Righto. Someone's doing all right. Okay, $30. $30. $100. You want to spend $100 on me? I love you.

You're my to spend $100 on me. I love you. You're my best friend. Words are free, mate. Words are free. You were going to spend $100. You're on my tier. Sorry, you're not my best friend, but you're on my best friend tier. Yeah, if you like.

I don't have to. I have already bought you something small, and if the limit's $30, then I've actually already spent over the amount. So that's up to you. How much have you spent? We can adjust to make it work. Let's not include the thing I already bought. No, but if you spent $45 then let's make it $50 and then we're all good. What am I going to get for $5?

No, it's under $50. Oh, so you don't have to spend to the amount. No. Well then if it's $100 and it's capped at that, but you don't have to spend to the amount. No. Well, then if it's $100 and it's capped at that, but you don't have to spend that much. Yeah. Emotional torture. No, but how much is the thing you bought me?

Well, I've bought you one thing that I think was $60. Let's make it $60 back then. But I want to get you something else. You know what I mean? Because that was kind of a silly gift that i saw online i was like oh ryan will think that's funny it's not really a good gift the limit is a hundred dollars so i can spend another forty dollars okay that's good now you don't have to spend oh sorry but you don't have to spend a hundred if you say something great that's five dollars just get me something

great that's five dollars yeah it's i mean whoever you got it's a limit it's not a you must spend this already i've ruined it because i said who i had oh christmas is over christmas with a k is cancelled with a k i'm such a ho ho ho. I'm ho, ho, hopeless. So for whoever I got. Now, after, we're not going to name names or point fingers, but there was some snippy comments last year that some people went over the limit and it made other people felt bad. I'm not naming names and we're not pointing fingers. Okay, can I also make a point?

But I'm not. Last year, people spent over the limit and it made the people that didn't spend over the limit feel bad. That's what I'm. Oh, I thought you said, like, you felt bad because people spent over the limit and it made the people that didn't spend over the limit feel bad. That's what I'm... Oh, I thought you said like you felt bad because you spent over. No, we're on the same. We're saying the same thing. Oh, okay. Sorry.

This year, if someone spends over, their gifts are null and void. They get sent back. No, there is no going over because we don't want a repeat of last year. So that's a hard cap. It's also a fun challenge. If someone comes in with $101, cancelled. They're out. Oh, that's good.

Can't go over. Guess I'm buying $40 worth of scratchies then. But what if we win? Then it's worth more. Then you're cancelled. If I ever buy you a scratchy I'm keeping it all. No. If I ever buy you a scratchy. I'm keeping it all. No. If I ever buy you a scratchy or a lotto ticket and same goes, we'll split it. No.

Yeah. 10%. What? Finders fee? 50? So if I win a million dollars, you get 100 grand. 10%. No. You get funny with gambling.

Oh, yeah. Nah. Yep. Yep. What do you mean? Well, in Vegas, you were very funny about your money and your winnings. Yeah. Yeah.

I was very clean and cut because gambling and money gets in the way of people, so you've got to avoid that. Gets in the way of you and your money. Yeah. Oh, God, wouldn't want to stand in the way of those two things. That's best friend tier, Ryan and his money. I was trying to give you guys money back. Yeah, and not a cent over.

Yeah. Not a cent over. Oh, right. Someone's got to pay for my massage on the table. Yeah, a hundred's fair, not a dollar over. Yeah. And you just have to get creative then because, like, if you've spent $95 or something and you're like, oh, should I?

I've already got my person's presents. Have you? Yeah. How much were they? $30, obviously, because that was the limit you were going to set. The limit's $100, so it's not over. But? I'm also nervous about one of them.

Don't be nervous. I love it. Unless it's vouchers, which I very explicitly said I did. I'll have to make one change. Unless it's like a voucher and it's like one coffee from me. You know, those like handmade vouchers that you give to your mum or whatever if they're alive. Yeah.

That's nice. Would you like a handmade voucher? That's quite cute. Like one come over for dinner. That's fun. That is fun. Or maybe I could give a handmade voucher? That's quite cute. Like one come over for dinner. That's fun. That is fun. Or maybe I could give you a voucher that's like one look after Mabes for the afternoon. That would be good.

I would do that anyway. Yeah, that's a bit of a cop out, but it's cute nonetheless. I'm like that for my one Christmas present I might be able to come for dinner. That's really nice of you. What would you value that at? Priceless. Yeah, but that's over $100. Oh, true.

That's what I mean. The value of a dinner at my house. Let's say it's worth $99. Yeah, how much are you going to spend on Uber Eats? Oh, I like that laugh. That was good. Sorry about that. Okay, well, we've both pulled our people off.

How much does that worth? Again, priceless. Priceless. $69. Should the limo be $69? Hang on, let me do some maths. You pitched $30 at the beginning. Yeah, but I'm funny.

$30. You'll have to let me know next time. Yeah, no, $69. Okay, let me just Google how much the thing is that I already bought because I just want to make sure that the thing I bought for my person isn't over that. Does shipping count? No.

Oh, fucking piss it in. Great. Great? Yep. $69. Yeah, so I've got $20 left to spend. Okay. What did you get for?

Okay. Okay. Okay. It's just get for... Okay. Okay. Okay. It's just like, it's not like a great gift. It's just like a bit... I saw it and I thought of you and I was like, I should get that for Ryan. And I was like, hopefully I get you for Secret Santa.

And if not... What is that crawling in our studio? What is that crawling in our studio? What is that? That is the biggest cockroach I've ever seen. Is it a cockroach or a cicada? I'm going to film it so that people can see it. Man, we need to give it a rev up.

Give it a tap so it moves. Don't look at that piece of paper. It's got my name written on it. Oh, it's going. It's going. Move the microphones. Woo! Is it a black sand grope, I think?

Anyway, cockroaches aside, that's free for Christmas. We've both pulled out people. I'm really happy with who I got. No, I'll make do. You're breaking my heart. Guys, on Monday. Oh, my God. Monday's going to be one of the great episodes

because we need it to make up for this one. But on Monday, how dumb is your partner? And people in the type community have shared dumb things their partner have done. So if you think you're dumb, don't worry, you're not the dumbest because shit's going to get wild. Oh. And also, the proudest day of my life.

On Monday? Has happened. And I'll tell you about it. But I think when I tell you this thing that's happened, Tony, it might be the proudest, top five proud things that's happened in your life. In my life? Something's happened that you don't know about yet, but when you hear about it, you'll be like,

this is probably one of the coolest things that's happened in my life. Oh, okay. Yeah. On the back of the trip, there's been some fallout, and I've got an announcement. Oh, okay. It's proud. But it's proud. You'll be proud.

Okay. Yeah. Do you want to do Love To See It or not? Oh, we've not done that yet. No. Okay, let's do that. Okay. Sorry, I was fucking wrapping this up.

Yeah, I know. I've just sent you a link to a series of photos on Instagram. I'm going to get Franco to pop them up on the screen for us so you can all see. Where did you send the link? I've just sent it to a text. Okay, because the last thing in our text is that message I sent you. I know. Yeah, no, I sent it to our group chat.

Okay. And basically it's someone who super glued a toy horse to their phone case and it's too high up. And now every photo they take, it makes it look like the horse is taking a selfie. Have you got it there in front of you? Yeah. And you scroll through and there's all these beautiful photos

and it looks like the horse is taking a selfie. But because the horse is close up, the autofocus is hitting it. Yeah, so everything's out of focus except for the little blurry horse and it's really, really funny. It is really funny, but I think the thing we're glossing over is who the fuck sticks a horse to their phone in the first place. Well, I think because in the original tweet or the original post, it said, I glued this stupid fucking horse to my phone case,

didn't realise it would be in the thing, and now it's being photobombed, this little toy horse. It's quite funny. That is quite funny. But it made me almost poo. I laughed so hard when I saw this. I wanted to share it. I do love to see it.

And we'll pop all the The link to that page In Fucking Let me try that again You're okay man We'll pop the link to That Instagram post in our In today's episode thread Are you rattled with the Secret Santa

Yeah Are you stressed It's the cockroach as well That's really Yeah I also did mention Before I needed to Poo a little bit

And now it's more Okay well I'll get through this quickly. Adam Gordon listens to the podcast. Hi, Adam. I work in a factory and they've recently bought in a new no AirPod rule. Oh, for safety. Well, but yeah, but he said it makes zero sense considering we're required to wear noise-cancelling earmuffs when working. Oh.

So he's like, well, if you can't hear your surrounds anyway, then what's the difference? Oh, nah, bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. when working oh so he's like well if you can't hear your surrounds anyway then what's the difference oh nah bullshit yeah yeah i channeled my inner product designer and discovered that not only do earmuffs come apart but they also have a cavity behind behind each ear uh that is conveniently the right depth for an airpod so naturally i 3d printed a bracket to stop it from shaking around and so it would like fit in snug. So now in my noise cancelling like warehouse, you know, high-vis headphones, there's a little slot where I can slide in the AirPod and now I can listen to Tony and Ryan and all other podcasts through my 12-hour shifts. That is so clever. So clever. What a handy person to be able to do that.

Adam also said, if anyone from the factory is reading or listening to this, please don't rat out a fallow tarpa. Oh, you know what you should do, Adam? If anyone's listening, tell them you'll fit out their earmuffs with AirPod things as well. For $10. Yeah, make a bit of cash.

Get a little racket going. And tell them what to listen to as well. Help us, we'll help you. Everyone's a winner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good on you, make a bit of cash. Get a little racket going. And tell them what to listen to as well. Help us, we'll help you. Everyone's a winner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great, great. Good on you, Adam. That's awesome.

Tony, go do what you need to do. Oh, yeah. And we'll chat to you on Monday. Love you, bye.