Toni and Ryan - Who Shat In My Sister's Garden?

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

NORMAL OR NAH - Human shit in the backyard - Finger food - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They have shit in my garden and covered it up with a napkin. And you want to know what this fucking real estate agent says? Are you sure it wasn't one of your children? What the f***? Hi, I'm Amy from Canberra. Hi, I'm Eliza from Orange Australia. Hi, this is Jene and Lilac from Springfield, Massachusetts. And I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. You look like a beautiful Christmas tree. I am a beautiful Christmas tree. I love it. The green and the maroon is very chic, very sexy Christmas. Very sexy Christmas. And you know what? That's how I feel towards the end of March.

That's absolutely beautiful. Thank you. Don't wait for Christmas. Christmas, wait for us. Nah. I know we're going for. I love. No.

Don't wait till the end of the year to bring joy. Don't. Bring joy now. Don't get to Christmas. Come for Christmas. No. Oh. don't wait to get to Christmas bring Christmas to you so true have you seen that girl who's

like sorry my fucking brain melted down bleble blobs don't love your job job your love and everyone's just like rinse it have you seen those ones that's going a bit like carasey lately and it's like um I want to blah blah blah read the like remove the first word of all of the first letter of all those words and it still doesn't make sense and I always look at them and then they get my view for like over a minute because I'm trying to figure it out and I think it's just a scam. Do you know the memes the reals I'm talking about? So I can the yeah. Well it says like I want to eat a burger with my friends and then it's like remove the first letter of all of those words. Hymia and and yeah and it doesn't mean anything but I always sit there and try and like work it out like I'm going to

crack this code. I like the guy who thinks he's a fucking genius and he's like, right, Tony, think of the number two. Yep. Add two to it. Yep. Is it four? Yeah.

Then you have to follow me. And you go, I think that's just Matt. I don't think you did anything there. Yeah, you haven't. Yeah. You haven't taught me anything. But he's like doing it as if he's David Copperfield and he's pulled off the magical fucking trick of a lifetime.

And I'm like, you're just counting. You're not a cop on a fuel from me, big dog. Yeah, you're just counting. Yeah. One of my favorite things that always gets me going is your rap name is. Oh. And Charles, can we roll the tape? Your rap name is Lil plus the last reason that you were in the hospital.

What is your rap name? So, Tony? Lil colonoscopy. What up? Lil haemorrhoid sucker. Little polyp biopsy. No, like, hemorrhoid, like, sucked off. Oh, yeah.

Emeroid sucker. It sounds like you. No, I didn't suck it. Yeah. Lil hemorrhoid ligation. Oh. And this guy's done a stitch with this. What's yours?

Lil, my baby's sick. Oh, yeah. Yep. Lil Mabel got bubble in her eye. Yeah. Little babe. She got sunscreen in her eye. Sunscreen.

I thought it was bubble solution. Nah. She's rubbing. She's like, I'll put some sunscreen on myself. Yeah. In the eye. Beautiful. What would yours be, Charles?

Ooh. Little Lesty eye check. Little birth. Imagine if, okay, do you want to be crazy? Little pregnancy. Can you imagine if Charles had a baby and we didn't know? He's probably got thousands of children, don't you? Yeah, actually.

In how many countries. A lot of broken hearts left behind. Yeah. Broken hearts and destroyed cervixes all around town. Can you play the, I don't know if it's what he's saying or the delivery, but can you play the next one, Charles? Your rap name is Lil, plus the last reason that you were in the hospital. What is your rap name?

Lil too much cocaine. Fuck, it's, yeah, the far back angle really sells that, doesn't it? You go, hey, we believe you. Like, no one's asking. A little too much cocaine. All right. Time for normal on art, Thursday. Oh, what a great day.

Now, this, I'd never heard of this before, but sometimes an old wife's tale is like Tony Energy. It is. It's like I love the itchy palm. I said that the other day. Have we heard back from Fresh? Not yet. Who's fresh?

The radio station you were quite fond of course. Oh, we haven't heard back. Oh, of course. Sorry, I know who you're talking about. Hot Tomato. No, who's that? That's the Gold Coast. The Gold Coast.

Gold Coast. fresh shiny 2.7 stepping on your keys when you drop them T, T, can ask normal or not Mama always said if you drop your keys you have to step on them before picking them up otherwise it's bad luck It's been done my whole life

It's basically like a reflex now I once stepped on a strangest keys because of the reflex action He didn't understand it, respect it or appreciate it Stepping on your keys when you drop them Is this normal or nah? I have never heard that before. Really?

And I am wet for a wife's tail, but that is not one of it. Oh, no, sorry. The alliteration is just really done me. I am wet for a wives tale, though. You are. I love it. I'm wet for a woo-woo wife's tail. I'm wet for a watermelon.

I'm, what? I love watermelons. Yeah, wet for life. I'm wet for Walter White. Breaking Bad, great show. Yeah. Remember that? That's found me on the algorithm again.

Has it. Nice. I am wet for a toasted cheese sandwich Just a cheese toasty Yum I was kind of going to go with the W's that Oh I'm wet for a Woo

Almost in Willie You are wet for a Willie I am wet for a Willy I'm wet for a waffle Like how we did Waffle Grosgen Waffle Sklorgon Waffle Sklorgon Do you remember when we did

Grakon Wurfin? Yeah I liked that Remember who won the grand final of the AFL this year. Just about eight months ahead. Just a little gag for us. I've wet for Willy Wonka.

No? Yeah. No. Sorry. I just blacked out a little bit. Did you see my eye like sundown for a second? It's like that visor of your hat just rolled over your face and you just like started again. I'm so sorry.

It's like you went past go and collected $200 and just had a real. Yeah. Sorry. I am wet for a wife's tail, but I've never heard that one. I don't think you should step on your keys, but. No. Especially like the new, like the car ones that are like the thing and they'll break and there's a battery in a shit.

Yeah. My mom always used to say like, oh, don't drop your keys. Well, obviously. Was that like a wife's style? She's like, they'll break. So not really a wife's style, but probably more a scamongering tactic. Yeah. Wise old birds.

From a wise old bird. A wise old word from a wise old bird. That's the bird. Tava Ella. Ella. Ella. Eh, E,

under our taparella. Ella, Ella, Ella, E, E. Well, it's been a good looking guy that's been under our tarpaella getting

written for the last couple of years. Charles. Planning your entire wedding without a ring. I've been in an incredibly. happy relationship for the last three years. My partner helped pull me through a serious addiction battle and I'm certain he is the one. So certain I've planned our entire wedding, had the dress designed and I've ordered it. I've booked in a venue, sorted out the guest list, arranged for where the flowers are going

to come from and paid for a deposit. The full thing, top to bottom, ready to go. The only thing holding us back is that he hasn't proposed yet. Holding us back, might be holding me. you back Ella but yep. No ring and not any suggestion of one. But I just know he's the one. I mean, that is beautiful.

But if you're so sure that they're the one, then wouldn't you just be like, let's just do it? Is this normal or nah? Well, not normal for me because I am getting married, I've got the ring and everything. And I keep telling people that I'm getting married in July, but have not one single thing booked. I've got the dress is kind of.

on the way, can't do anything else because I'm lazy and keep telling people, I'm backing it in though, that like it's happening in July, but that, you know, there's been no proof of life. Because of the lack of proof of, like, you know, if there hasn't been anything locked in, does it need to be? Is that just like your mind feels like that's the time? Well, because when we get back from the Hens Night in London, I was like, you know what? I feel like. Then we're ready.

Yeah, like, we'll be back. it's something nice to kind of look forward to and neither of us kind of want to wait like we were like yeah well we get married to you already let's do it um and but the restaurant that we want to have dinner at that night doesn't take bookings

until three months before so does McDonald's have a booking system at the Clifton Hill Macgers to do the kids party out of that so we can go through the little you have the playground to yourself

do you want the 9 to 9 30 on Sunday morning Because Timothy's fourth We'll be wrapping up Yeah So you'll need to clean up that ice cream cake Before they get in Yeah So

I did pitch that venue It was not chosen But I pitched it Early in the piece I'll probably go there the next day We're on the way home Yeah Yeah

So that's the main reason Why there's no date yet But what I'm saying is Like you've done a lot more Planning than most people So that's amazing I reckon I reckon they just talk to him

Does he know that she's booked all this stuff? Putting it, paying a deposit is crazy. Locking in a date for the venue, like booking it. That's insane. No ring yet and not any suggestion of one. I'm going to say, nah. I don't think that's normal. Like, I love you, yeah, love you, Ella.

Love you, Ella. Ella's a great person. Been through a lot in the last three years gone through addiction and everything. But fuck, that's intense. I wonder if he knows. that's what I want to know. How would you react to that? Charles, new question actually.

Charles, say you were dating someone and you found out they had done that. What would you? I don't, like it feels like that's a lot. Yeah, that is a lot. You're for you as well. You scare easy though. What did you say? You scare.

No, I actually do. I actually do scare easily and that the commitment thing of that you'd be like oh, that's intense. What's happening. Yeah. No, that's fair. But I feel like this is just one of those times where she's got to pop the question to him.

Yeah, totally. Just fucking get on that front foot or front knee as it were. Oh. And I'd get on my knees for you. I know. And I have. And I. You didn't give me a ring though.

Gave something. Get me a ring after. Hey, mate. How you got? I was giving her a bell. Yeah. on my way home. Tarpa Joel.

Hi, Tapa Joel. Is this your dad? It is not. Cleaning your toothbrush in the dishwasher. Over at my sister's house, helping clean up after dinner when I spot something unusual in the cutlery rack in the dishwasher.

Two electric toothbrushes just sitting there casually amongst the forks and spoons. What's going on here? I ask. Just cleaning the toothbrushes. She says like it's nothing. And my first thought is hygiene, but then again, everything else in this rack has already been in someone's mouth. Maybe it's not that different after all.

Yeah, but I wouldn't put your penis in my dishwasher. And that's been in my mouth as well. You know? Yeah. Remember that time that you cooked a salmon in the dishwasher? Yes. I do. And it tastes a little soapy.

Yeah, well, then everyone goes, no, you don't put a tablet in with it. But I had a... other dish, like the whole point of it was that it's like, oh, you can do two jobs at once. Yeah, you can do two jobs at once, but you're only one job though. And I go, well, I don't think you fucking know what you're talking about. Well, then I might as well just put it in the oven and run the dishwasher like a fucking adopt. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, I get it. No, you get it. How are you doing salmon these days? Because once you've got an air fry, you can pretty much throw the rest of my kitchen out. I do a salmon in the frying pan because I like the crispy skin. Yeah. Or I bake it in the oven. Just straight up.

Yeah, just pop it in with all my Mediterranean veggies. Yeah, you wouldn't do that in the air fryer? You absolutely could. Because salmon with the crispy skin is just... Yeah. I, at the moment, the thing that I eat because I love TikTok, is like Courtney Cooks. She eats a whole potato with the cheese in it.

You know, I've been eating that. Are you talking about that lady from Friends? No, that's Courtney Cox. Oh, who's this one? I wouldn't do that to you. Do you Courtney Cops? It's like a meow, Courtney Cox, swan out.

Oh, do Courtney Cox in here? Sorry. Cox in the henhouse. Is salmon skin good for you? Oh, yeah. It's got to be where all the Omega 3 is. Because I love it so much. I'm going to say something crazy and I'm going to back it in.

I think I know what you're going to say and approved. Say what you think I'm going to say. could just eat the skin. No. Keep going. Just eat the skin and like without the flesh. I'll go you one further. Yeah.

I could go two days of my life only eating salmon skin. Love it. What about chicken skin? Very good also. I will need some cupy mayo. Yep. That's fair. Awesome.

What's that soy sauce that I'm having that's not soy sauce sauce? Like a tangerine or a tujan, tamarin. tamarine tamarine is like the sweetness that is in like pad tie sauce no i wouldn't be that one but you're not having soy no oh but it's like soy but it's like a orangey soy orange like it's like a citrusy Charles what the fuck am I talking about Charles what's she talking about she sorry what's he talking about Ponzu Ponzo oh what is that it's a tangy citrus soy I've never seen that.

Oh, yum. Oh, vinegar, miran and umami rich ingredients. Oh, yeah. Oh, that would be fucked. Yeah, oh, combined, it's not instead of soy sauce. It is soy sauce, but with citrus juice, Yuzu, just lemon. Yeah, vinegar. Yeah.

Dude, chuck a little splash of that on your salmon. You don't know yourself. I've never seen that before. That looks, and I've actually been to Japan more than once for, less than three, more than once. Yum. It's a nah from me, Joel. Nah, Joel.

Wait, what was the question? Salmon in the dishwasher. No. No, toothbrush is in the dishwasher. Sorry. Sorry, but did you say that there's electric toothbrush? Is it the base of the toothbrush as well? Because fuck, no.

Surely it's just the top. I hate it. Buy a new head. It's $15. Like, of the toothbrush. My head's more than that. Hi, I'm Eliza from Orange Australia. This is Jeney from Springfield.

Massachusetts. I'm Amy and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion Tappas. Over at our Patreon. Jess Neumann, good on you, Jess. Danielle Smith, love to see it, Danielle. Thanks, D-S. Nintendo DS, Tracy Colvac.

Covalch, sorry. T-K. I was going to say, I forgot to call you back. Hello. Just for turning your call. Hi, it's Molly. Hi, it's Molly from the Champion Tarpeteer of Patreon. Oh, sorry, I hung up.

Madison Morgan, good on you, Madison. It's me, Linda B. Hi, Linda. Hi, Linda. Juan, Lydia, Bree M, Kelly Stout and Tunisia Gerbil. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. We fucking love to say. The big gerbs.

Big Gerbs. And we'll see a few of our Swedish tarpers at our live recording on Sunday. He's trying to do time, don't chat. On Sunday for the Friday night show. So it's tomorrow Yeah Beauty But what time's that in Sweden

No fuck you I'm not taking that on It's Friday In Sweden Yeah Yep Sorry for trying I really regret it

But if you missed out Are you gonna be the official timekeeper of the trip No I'm not the official anything I'm now the official Passenger Princess Of going away with you guys Okay I'm just happy to be here

Golden Retriever Yeah But we also, if you missed out on seeing us at this time and you can't come to Sweden tomorrow, you might be able to come and see us in Dublin. Yep. There are tickets at tap live recordings.com. Is that right? And our Hens Party live show to celebrate me getting married.

I haven't set a date yet. In London. We can't set a date until you've had her hands. Oh, so true. Well, you probably can, but go fuck yourself. That suits our story. And you know what? I'm not flaunting tradition.

No. No, fuck you. Hens first, marriage later. Yeah. What's the point of your friend getting married if you can't turn one on for a hens night? Exactly right. So I want you to turn me on in London on May 17. And we will.

Very excited. May 19. On May 19. So come and get your fingers dirty with us. Get a bag of Doritos and settle in. Get a bag of Doritos and a front bum. All right. So I said this yesterday.

Shitgap. Someone shit, my sister's garden. It's the craziest she called me and she was like, you will not fucking believe this. Okay. So. Is it human? My sister lives in a pretty big house in like a, um, there's four of them. So it's my sister, her husband and my two nephews.

They also have a dog like a huge German shepherd. And so there are four of them renting this house. and it's got quite a lot of like foliage and garden around the outside. And they're just renting, but they, so they get like a lot of support from the real estate agent kind of being like, we can help you with the tree lopping and stuff. Oh, okay. You know, like if you're renting, they kind of go, oh, we'll help you because if the garden gets fucked up, we have to deal with it.

Yeah, so it's, yeah. So it's kind of like. Does the real estate have a human ship policy? Well, apparently not. They need a lift. So they had this like massive tree. in the backyard like across there like in the corner but it kind of you know like a big tree that like has a branch but it like kind of all goes to one side and so the whole tree was like massive in

the corner but it covered the whole backyard right yeah and it was like along the back fence and they were like fuck we we really need to get it lopped because it's just like dropping all of these branches it's everywhere and because i've got a dog they're like oh we need to like keep it clear that he can go down and like have a run around, use the bathrooms up. Anyway, Libby talked to the real estate agent and she's like, so this is what we need done. And she goes, I found a couple of tree loppers in the area if you want to pick these three, like from these three.

Like we've gotten a few quotes. So the owner can pick the quote that they're happy with. And surely the real estate agent's also like, they would deal with the same people over time, right? Surely. Oh yeah, there's a couple of guys we always use. and hurts some good things. If I was a real estate agent, like a rental agent,

if somebody came to you and goes, here's three options, I've got three quotes, give them to the owner, surely you'd be like, thank you so much. Thank you. There's half an hour of Googling.

I don't have to do. I don't have to do. And you can say, and then like, it's kind of out of your hands then. Because you go, well, you picked them. Like, you know.

You deal with it. Yep. And so they end up calling my sister back. and they go, oh, actually, the owner has somebody else that they're going to use. And Libby goes, oh, they weren't happy with the ones that we sent through. They go, no, no, the owner's got someone. She goes, okay, these two guys rock up. And she goes, these are the same guys that came and, like, fixed our roof a little while ago.

She goes, oh, weren't you guys here to fix that leak or fucking whatever? And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, oh, are you just? Didn't realize you guys were tree loppers. She goes, are you just handyman or something? They go, no, we're like roof plumbers. And she goes, oh, okay. Okay.

And she's like, so are you here to do the tree though? And they go, yeah. And she's like, what? She's like, all right, the owner's organized. Like, what am I? The owner's got one bloke on speed dial for all. Yeah, I'm a landlord. And it's probably his fucking cousin or, who knows.

I'll send me cousin ran. He takes care of all my stuff. He's on retainer. Yeah. Like, surely, all good. I'm not paying full tradey rates these days. Fuck my life. Yeah, you know, and it takes so long for them to come around.

Like, yeah, oh, bloody John will come around with a fucking trailer and a hand saw that I used to fucking cut off the hot take Tony stick. Yep. Got a new greets. All good. Send John around. All good. Anyway, so, um, there, Libby's like, all right, that's fine. She calls that, she goes, oh, yeah, it's just this tree.

Yeah. She calls a real estate. And she goes, hey, just double checking that you know that they're like not tree lober. She goes, the owner approved them. So it's fine. And she goes, okay, I just wanted to let you know. This is fine. Anyway, they're down the backyard for like a few hours.

And she can kind of hear them talking and like using a chainsaw and whatever. And then for a while she doesn't hear anything. And she's like, oh, maybe they're done. Like maybe they're finished, but they didn't come and say goodbye or whatever. And she goes down the back and they have half. lot this tree, but they have also taken all of the panels off her back fence and started like throwing branches into the neighbor's yard. What?

And she's like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, what are you talking about? She's like, what? And then so she's like, well, have they, have they left? You can't do. First of all. So there's still, they're not, there's no sign of them still. They're not there.

but she's like, are their tools still here? And I'm out the front, like chopping stuff down or whatever. But in the meantime, they've taken, why have they taken panels off the fence and why have they put it into the neighbor's yard?

Like, what the fuck? Like my sister, luckily their dog was inside. Yeah. But imagine if the neighbor had a dog. Yeah. That got out,

you know, that's so far. Yeah. Really random. Anyway, so she's down there and she's like, I'll go around and see if like their tools are here. She's having a quick look.

she walks over and there's like a toolbox sitting there and she's like okay so they haven't left and then um like a bag like a lunch like a cooler bag kind of thing sitting on the thing and then like all these napkins and she's like what the fuck they've like left all their rubbish laying out and she goes to pick the napkins up And they are laying across a human shit. So they're roof fixes, their tree loppers, and also plumbers who apparently can lay some pipe.

And she was like, what the fucking hell? So I'm actually slightly relieved because for a second I thought they shot in the cooler. Now, they have just raw dogs shitted on the grass. on the floor in the outside, like next to the kids' trampoline.

And napkin just laid it over the top, like you're in Billy Madison, just like cover it with some newspaper. Just cover it up, yeah, and just like hope for the best. And fucked off. And left. So it's actual human poo

just in her garden. So, okay. Isn't that just horrifying? I mean, if you're going to take a few pails off the fence, Go shit in the neighbor's yard, you know what I mean? But like, what do you mean? Knock on the door. The door is to say there are toilet in the house.

Like she was home and she goes like, let us know if you, you know, classic trade-y chat, let us know if you need anything. Yep, cup of tea, bathroom. You just let us know, bud. Or like, if you, like, go and shit at a macas or a servo or, you know, like there are so many, if you didn't want to come inside, fine. But like, you can't shit in someone's garden. And you know what else?

If you shit in someone's garden, you certainly can't leave it behind. You need to deal with it immediately. Shit in the lunchbox so that you can throw that in the bin. I would accept. I would accept. I can't leave him out to say this. Considering the option they did choose, I would prefer you dug a hole shat in it and at least like filled the hole back in.

I don't know. I don't think you can leave your own shit in someone's yard. But if he's left his own stuff and, pales off the fence. Does that, this gives me the energy of their coming back. Well,

yeah, and they've left some tools and stuff. So yeah, they are coming back. But in the meantime, he's decided that the serviette, the macas serviette

over the top of the log is all good. If I've shot in someone's backyard, I'm not going back. Like, that is a end of day's move. You know, that is a, I can't consciously go back to that house.

Because the thing is, is that we've all been caught short. And I know that you know this better than anyone in terms of like, I really need the bathroom. Like we need to pull over or I need to head home or whatever it is. I need to use your bathroom. If you say you got sick and all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, you would immediately clean it up.

Yeah. Or bury it, which is crazy. But yes, like, but you would, but you would do something to remedy it surely straight away. So then what happens? So she sees it and she, my sister's not great with like poo. and vomit and stuff like that and she's like but like she was like she's in the backyard she calls a real estate agent again and so the real estate's just like they're probably off her

the real estate's just like fucking old mate libs call me here we go fuck but this is back in a whole new way liby calls them and they go what seems to be the problem liby and she goes yep so the people have disappeared they've taken things off the fence which we didn't approve they've put things in the neighbor's yard i've had to call them and tell them like that, you know, there's a hole in their fence. So just so you fucking know when you get home, you see this hole in the fence. Yeah. And then she goes, um, and they have shot in my garden.

And the real estate agent goes, I quit. No, she goes, what? And Libby goes, they have shit in my garden and covered it up with a napkin. And you want to know what this fucking real estate agent says? She goes, are you sure it wasn't one of your children? Oh. Excuse me? What?

Excuse me? She goes, no. I'm pretty sure that my children would come to the toilet in the house. Like humans. Any civilized person should. But the fucking balls on someone to go, are you sure it wasn't your kid? Is like fucking crazy?

And so she goes, well, no. And my sister was like, no, my children would. not shit in the backyard. Yeah. And she was like, and they're not here. And the fucking tradies are. Yeah.

They, their boys weren't there. They were with us. Right. So, like, they weren't there. Um,

and Libby was like, well, my, if our dog went down there, like, who, you know, it's so fucking disgusting.

And she goes, I, are you sure it wasn't one of your family? And my sister's like, are you fucked in the head, like, what are you asking me? Well,

she's also like, I'm a, I'm about to call this guy and be like, like, I have to be pretty sure. Yeah. It's got to be 100% before you're just out of shooting in your garden. So then.

Is there any chance it wasn't in before I have to make the worst phone call of my day? Please tell me. Anyway, and then so the guys end up coming back and like, Libby's like watching them through the window. She's like, I don't want to fucking go down there. And then, um,

so it's like the two guys. And then a third guy rocks up and screams at the other two guys. And just like goes fucking berserk. and then he goes, he's like, clean up all of the shit. Excrement. But he goes, clean up all of your shit. Yeah. And like, get the fuck out.

Like, you have got to be kidding me. Put the fence back on. The guy picks up the shit. Like, I don't know if it was in a bag or whatever. The guy picks up the shit and puts it in Libby's bin. No. Right. No.

And Libby, she's watching through the window. And she goes, fuck no. She like opens the door. She's like, no, please take that with you. Actually, don't put your shit in my fucking Fogo bin. Not appropriate. Not appropriate. And she goes, I do you know how they only take the bins once every fortnight?

Lay on some bin chat like there. She knows. She in one of those councils that are going fortnightly. Every second week, yeah. It's not enough for the amount of shit in her bin. Not now. Anyway, and she's like, no. Like, you cannot put that in my bin.

And the guy goes, all right. Like, he's just such a dick about it. And then anyway, so it was really late in the day. And Libby's like, we are, you know, we have the boys so that my sister and her husband could go on like a date night. And she's like, we haven't been able to leave. We thought this would take one hour. You've been here for five. You've shouted my fucking garden.

I'm like, please leave. Anyway, so then they come back the next day to finish the job. And they put all of the green waste instead of taking it in their youth. They put that into their bin as well. And he was like, so you fucking filled my bin up twice now. Fuck off. With all of the leaves, but now all of your human shit also. Like, come on.

What the fuck. It was just like such a fucking. And so is it like we're done with cousin John? Well, we want professionals with some decorum, some professional standards. Well, Lib goes, she's talking to the real estate agent again. And she goes, yeah, so, you know. It wasn't, it was pretty average, Jay. Like, that's not ideal.

And the real estate agent goes, oh, well, yeah, I guess they were roof plumbers. They weren't treeloppers. Libby goes, well, I don't think that roof plumbers shit on the floor. I don't think it matters. Who the fuck they were? I don't think any kind of trading. I don't think their qualifications are relevant. Even though it is questionable.

I don't think their qualifications are relevant when we are speaking of matters of shitting on the floor in my home. I have not been to trade school. No, Melbourne Business School But I assume, well, let me tell you What do they teach you that there? Let me tell you what they teach you at Melbourne Business School which I assume they teach at Melbourne Trade School

It's like a TAFE. They have them everywhere. Rule three. Yep. Don't shit on the floor. So true. Maybe imagine if we found out that like every trade in the world got taught that

except for Rufers. And they got, oh the old roofers curse my dad's a roofer he's just shitting everywhere and they go oh I can't believe these tradies shen they're so what were they roofers and you go yeah and they go oh happens every time yeah they get you can't expect any different how them gutters though pretty clean shit on me grass though that's fucked up geez isn't that so crazy lip can't catch a break but the way that she she called me straight obviously called me straight after and she's just like what the hell do I do and I was like that is the craziest thing I've

ever fucking heard. And I said, I said to her, can I tell that story on the podcast? And she goes, yeah, I'm so mad. I'm so mad. She's like, I'm so fucking angry. I'm going to regret asking this. Please. Either in the episode thread in the Facebook group.

Where did someone shit? Or in the YouTube comments. Where did someone shit? Is that like asking for too much? No, I think. Where did someone shit? Where did the tradey shit? Where did you find human shit?

Where did you find? shit I think is good. Like, because when I was working at Coles, someone once shot in the bakery section. Like, they got diarrhea and they shot and they just kept walking. Like, they had to do their groceries. And they just kept walking and there was like human shit smeared all over the bakery section. At the Mannington Coles. I'm not even fucking you.

That would never happen to Baker's Delight. Oh, my God. And you couldn't. True. But you walk in there and you just like. overwhelmed with joy. That you shit yourself. You wouldn't shit.

No, it holds it in. Isn't that so insane? I could not. Like, I was like, you were fucking me. This cannot have happened. And she goes, I swear, on my shit-covered garden. So how's the new neighborhood going for him? Happy with the move.

Really happy, yeah. I've got to you love to see it here from Remy. Hi, Remy. Just have my first LLB tonight. First ever lemon lime and bitters. I had to pull up the recipe. on my phone to show the bartender at a jazz club. That's the fanciest thing I've ever heard.

So I'm at a jazz club. Hey, bartender, can I get a lim-line bitters? He goes, where is this? Australia. No. Had one. My husband had one. Made for an awesome evening.

That's awesome. You welcome, Remy. I fucking love an LLB. I love a jazz bar. It's so zingy. Can you imagine an LLB and a Vegemite scroll from, you imagine that? I've got something else. else actually is my love to see it that I reckon would go pretty well with an LLB.

Do you reckon they have LLBs? You know how there's a random fridge and a Baker's Delight and you might get like a chocolate milk and a lipped an ice tea? Do you know what's weird is that they often have a chocolate milk, a lipped an ice tea and like a powerade? Yeah. Like they're like the three. But I wouldn't be surprised if they had a pre-made LLB in that fridge.

Like a little Schwepsy or a little Bundaberg? There's a brand I'm picturing in my mind. Because you know how he went on that rampage the other day trying to find them? The Bickford's ones. Maybe. Maybe. But yeah, okay, watch this space. Yeah.

Well, my you love to see it is fucking popcorn. When was the last time you had some popcorn? It fucks. The last time I had pop... You know why I haven't had popcorn in a while? Haven't been to the cinema. The last time I went to the cinema was to see Tenet. Oh, yeah?

And... Fuck, that's a while ago. Yeah, and who the knows what the fuck happened in that movie. Yeah. And so now I associate popcorn with not knowing what the... fuck is happening and thus I haven't had it in a while and I shouldn't take it out on the popcorn that's not popcorn's fault I know but it's just like the associations yeah I love popcorn and the other night we went out for dinner we went to um the hot pot like Korean hot pot and um

in the waiting area like while you're waiting for your table they have complimentary popcorn there it is please no no no no please do not tell me it is a communal bowl no no no no no no no no No, so let me explain. With everyone getting their dirty little Dorito covered fingers in there. Incredible question. Thank you. No, it's like one of those like fair, glass fair like popcorn popper. Yep.

Like a standalone thing. And then you hold, there's little bags there. You hold it underneath it and it like comes out the spout. No, thank you for asking. Thank God for that. They don't just have like a fucking a bag of popcorn from the microwave that everyone's digging into. Well, the number four rule of life is. never eat their finger food at an orgy because you don't know where everyone's hands been

they're putting their hands in the pretzel bowl you go fuck yeah you know like there's just too much crossover and that kind of i had a vision of that no so fair do you know what i've never understood is like a communal nuts at like a bar isn't that so i've never actually seen it in real life i've never seen it in real life but on movies they often have like the the nuts on the bar or whatever that's crazy to me yeah it's i think that's where the the original snack plates that the orgies came from because they went, oh, we're in a bar, you usually have a few drinks to some snacks. So I guess we should do the same.

Got to keep people nourished while they're getting nourished. You know what I mean? And so then they set this out and then someone starts thinking about it. Yeah. And they go, oh. Are there any communal foods left in this world? Bag of chips between friends, maybe. I just feel like no since COVID.

Even when like you get a charcutory thing now, it's like a little single serve charcutory. Well, Danny gets them on her own now. Yeah, yum. A real power move is ordering a shark utary and be, Like, just letting you guys know it's not to share like it's for me. You just like... And I fucking rate it.

Anything that Danielle does. I do. I do. And that's true. Yeah. What do you think is the ultimate finger food? Question without notice. It would have been just like a classic brie and whatever.

But then I saw my dog eat a half a wheel of brie the other day and that's really turned me off cheese for a while. Yeah. Um... Can I say mine? Yeah, gone. A mac and cheese bowl. they are fantastic they are so yum

would you call it a mac and cheese croquette or is that different yeah yeah yeah because it's like crammed and then deep fried whatever but the like the texture like the chewiness of the pasta on the inside the ghouiness of the cheese and then the crunch of the panco on the outside it's just so good that is really that is a good one

the worst one well it depends if you're into burning your fucking face off but then when you get to the middle it's still being stone cold try an Aaron Cheney ball Yeah. You've got to be sick. It was before you were a Hawks fan, but we used to have a player called Aaron Cheney.

And I'm not even joking. No. And then he got traded. Was it cold on the inside? Hold on the outside. He, nah. Can you bring up Aaron Cheney?

Hawthorne? I think he played for Adlerodleys. Yeah, Macchoo, you add football player. No. He was flaming on the outside. Yeah. A Flamin Cheeto. Yeah.

Well, yeah. A Flamen and Cheetey Chino. Favorite. Finger food. I've had some crackers recently. I do like when you get like a... Sorry. What do you make your finger food?

God, I've had some fucking crackers lately. I've told 10,000 jokes in my life and nothing will be funnier than that mistake I just made. That was very, very funny. Anything with like a smoke trout on like a white pasty... What's the white pasty stuff? Like crem fresh? Yeah.

And then like a bit of smoked salmon. Maybe like a little crepe, what are they called? Yeah, a little bleany. No, what's the crept called the caper? Oh, yeah, yum. That's good. Have we found Aaron Cheney? Are you thinking about Kyle Cheney?

I couldn't find him out. Yeah, there's Kyle Cheney. Okay, so he wasn't called Aaron. Okay, for Melbourne as well. Anand Horthorn and Adelaide. But he wasn't called Aaron. So his name's not Aaron Cheney. No, his name's Kyle Cheney.

I mean, so close. Anyway, I hope Kyle's doing well. Do you know what is another? really yum like finger food i really fuck because you've just sent me on this brain then i fuck with caviar so hard i think it is so yummy i love it i love it i think it's so yum and it's not in like a rich girl like my parents no my parents always ate it again not in a rich girl way but if they were ever having like a little shak cutchey board it would always they would do like smoke salmon and caviar and like soft cheese and stuff i love it i like caviard

dip, that Tarama. Oh, yeah. I'd eat that by the bucket load with a few sarah tars. Taramacilada. Yeah, that fucks. What's your favorite, Charles? Probably like sweet potato fries. Fucking grow up, you tibed.

What a shit answer. I can't have a lot of these cheesy nut things. Nah, and that is fair. You can't have a lot of cheesy nut things. But that is just not the category. It's not. That's just like a sage. Yeah, what's your favorite movie?

I love the news. Like, go up. Fucking get it together, son. Sweet potato is the news of snack foods. Oh, what are you having for lunch today? A huge sweet potato. Yeah, but she didn't say I'm having a security reward. It's just got a sweet potato on it.

Yeah, I just don't think it's a finger food. I think it's a sage. Do you have a finger food? Like nuggets? Charles. My love. I think that's a size. But most of like the finger food.

There's a finger food. There's a category called finger foods and it's not any food that you've once eaten with fingers. It's just, it's a. That is fair. Nuggets. But a lot of the finger food. Can you do better than that? Hank, can I tell you something, Tony?

Can you just, sorry, can you do better than nuggets or sweep donut fries? Think of it for 20. Think about something that you can't get from the kids menu. What about like spring rolls? I will take a spring roll. Fuck, borderline. We're getting a borderline, but I'll take that. But that's about all that can have off that menu.

That's really sad. Yeah. Do you know what he's sad? can't even have a satay sauce yeah that sucks that really sucks so if i ate satay and then we kiss yeah what would have you not seen the show this show with um sarah snok what show i i shh spoilers spoilers yeah but yeah no so so you true tony beep where appropriate what were you going to say what i was going to say i was going to say i love it things.

Finger food. I hardly know. Don't call me food. Who's food? No, fuck. I'm done for the week. All right. Yeah.

Oh, sorry. To food. To food. That's our red food's cousin. All right. We'll chat to you later. Have a good one. Love you so much.

Muam, one, more. Mwa. Maw.