Toni and Ryan - Who's the Jerk?

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Ryan is an absolute TURKEY as asks me who I think is a jerk out of him and someone else... (it will always be him) WE ALSOOOOO talked about The Dark Knight and how sexy Christian Bale is - and the worst Tinder bio maybe ever. Love you you bunch of special little snails xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Courtney speaking. Hello, Courtney. This is Tony and Ryan from the Tony and Ryan podcast, Across the Ditch. Oh, my God. Hi. Hi. I came in way too hot.

No, there's actually, Courtney, no such thing with us. You can come in as hot as you like. Oh, shivers. Hello. Hello. Now, Courtney, to be fair, and this is something as hot as you like. Ooh, shivers. Hello. Hello. Now, Courtney, to be fair, and this is something that I do a lot, I've come early. We are actually.

Hello, Ryan. Hello, Courtney. Do you guys want me to leave? Well, I'm actually married to a New Zealander. No, Tony, Tony, let's be honest. You're more ahead of Ryan, so don't you leave. Oh, no one's ever said that to me before. Well, excuse me.

Well, what I was going to say is we've come early. I believe we've called you two weeks early. Or have we stuffed that up? You have, and it was in the calendar, but that's okay. I'm enjoying this already. My boyfriend sitting beside me has no idea what the fuck is happening. Well, believe it or not, Courtney, we have been stood up by a few people,

so I dug into my address book. Oh, disgusting. Disgusting, and you know what? Honestly, not worthy. Oh, wow. Okay, she's very cutthroat. I like it, yeah. If I'm ever in legal trouble,

I'm going to get Courtney to be my lawyer and spokesperson because she doesn't take no shit from Noah. You know what? Honestly, I'll be there. I'll fly myself. We'd love to have you anytime. So now that we've finally got someone to answer the phone, Courtney, do we have your approval to start this podcast? You absolutely do.

It's approved. It's legally signed off. Yes! She actually doesn't have the authority to do that, though. But we are looking for, you know, a TARP official lawyer. So maybe Courtney is the official legal counsel. Yeah. I'm no Gleister legal. Oh!

Shout out to my Hayden Gleister. You're far out. Look, don't have my own office, but would love to join the team. Hey, Courtney, what do you do for a living? Legal and compliance officer. Not as boring as it sounds. I do have a personality. Oh, but you actually work in legal.

That's great. You've got the job. You're hired. Genuinely, actually do, do, do shit. got the job. You're right. Genuinely, actually, do do do shit. Courtney, whereabouts in New Zealand are you from?

I'm from Dunedin in New Zealand. Oh, Dunners! Fucking hell, you must be loose. Yeah, Dunners, Dunners. Oh, fucking loose unit. Never burned a couch, but, you know. I was going to say, yeah, have you burned a couch or thrown a dildo through a window or? To be honest,

there was this one time where outside my flat, all of a sudden our bins started vibrating and fell over and we were like, well, that's a bit weird. And we looked in it and there were actually a shit ton of huge dildos and we were like, that's really fucking weird. And yeah, it was just

huge dildos. Can I just put something out there? Yep. In my calendar, there's probably a hundred people booked in for approvals over the next few months. Yep. I'm really fucking glad

I called this number. I'm glad I picked up. I was like, look, it's no cooler, but it's cheaper. Fuck on for it. Hey, this is Courtney from Dunedin and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the podcast. Tony and Ryan hanging out with you and after that, I'm not going to say ordeal. After that performance by Courtney approving, do we even need to say any more or should we just call it a week? Yeah, I feel like she's been so much more animated than we could ever be. I mean, it's hard to top that. What a legend. And thank you to everyone who supports the podcast and is a tarpa

and give us approval. It means a lot. But that just really gave us a big burst of energy, didn't it? Yeah, I think as well when you get to chat to people that love the pod and support us it actually just makes you feel awesome and it's nice to hear the people that you kind of chat with on Instagram or on Facebook because we're always replying to messages and comments and stuff and it's so nice to actually chat to people on the phone. So a few weeks ago now we ate 721 nuggets. We did. Because we said we were going to

eat one nugget for everyone who signed up to the Patreon. Yeah, we didn't quite get there. So there are now, because it's on YouTube, you know how there's like ads at the start? Oh, okay. Fancy girls. Thank you.

So I get this email because I like uploaded the stuff onto the YouTube and it said. Because that's currently a Ryan John, isn't it? It's my old email. It's my old YouTube channel, which is merging into Tony and Ryan. Oh, a slow drift into a new realm of possibility. It's just me trying to figure out how I can change the name. Is that a bit of a nightmare?

No, I just need to do it. Oh, okay. I can do it. Okay, thanks. Sorry, if you're not committed to this podcast, mate, I'll fucking get Courtney back on. Courtney and Tony. First of all, if you're comparing my commitment to Courtney,

then I will not win. No one can. Yeah, don't put us up against that. Don't set us up to fail. Do you know what, Aswell? I don't know if I would trust Courtney as my lawyer. She sounds like you'd rock up and you'd go, oh, yeah, well, I was caught with drugs.

You'd go, well, did you have a good time? Huh? Can I have some? Instead of actually, you know. Would I trust her to be a fucking lord at my Bucks night? Yes. Yes. Yes.

A hundred percent. Playing in my hands party. Party time. Yeah. Courtney's coming. Party time. Lawyer? No.

So when you upload something to YouTube, basically something must scan it or watch it to see if it's appropriate for ads. Because if it's about like political statements or violence or guns, like there's all these things where you go they can't put ads on that. Yep. And because it was such a live stream, like it was a long, it's a two and a half hour video, it must have a few red flags in the back end.

They're like, oh, because it's a longer video, we'll need to check it. Oh. So I just got this email that said it has now been approved for ads, which means we might literally, I'm not even joking, it's only like, not a hundred bucks maybe, like it's not much, but someone had to sit and watch it. It works at YouTube

to approve it. Could you imagine? Oh, so it's not like AI, like someone actually watch it. It is to a point, but because the video was so long and there was so much going on and because the vision was a bit blurry, they're like oh, we better make sure. Yeah, we're going to have to get Carl to watch this. So someone has rocked up to work and they're like,

oh, what's on the agenda for today? Oh, we just need you to sit here and watch these two fucking idiots eat 721 nuggets for no reason. Someone had to do that at work. They better be a subscriber. Yeah, I was going to say, I wonder if now they listen to the podcast. They're like, this isn't bad. No.

If that was the first thing you'd experience, you'd be like, I don't know what these guys are doing. I'm out. If I saw that, I'd go, God, they seem like mates I want to have. Well, if you're that person, that means if you've joined on since then, then you're listening to this, message us. And if not, then I'll be right in assuming that you watched it and went, I'm quitting YouTube.

Like they've quit their job and they now work at the Telstra store. But if you did listen, then I win. So maybe if someone could just message and lie. Don't lie. I've got a lawyer now. Oh, yeah. Courtney will be on the phone. Yeah.

Oh, did you watch the nugget video? Should we get shots? Tony. Yes. Is it fair to say that you're someone who, especially between the two of us, would abide by the rules? Yep. If there's a template, you'll stick to it?

Yep. If you're told a time to get there, you will be there? Yep. Rules are there for a reason. They're there for good. We need rules. So. Oh, what have you done?

What have you done? I don't have a specific car park at my house, right? Yeah, yeah. So there's just like a car park strip, but it's literally just an area of concrete with numbers drawn on it and you just park over your number of the unit apartment thing. So you do have a specific one? Because if you live in number two, you park in number two.

Well, it's just like an area. It's more of a guide, I guess. There's no walls in between it. No, but if you live in number two and there's a number two on the ground. It's not like a specific garage. It's just an area. But it has a number on it? Yeah. And your house has a number on it? Yeah. And do the numbers on the houses correspond with the car park? Yeah. Okay, so I would like you to rescind your thing. Okay. I see this is not going to go well for me.

Oh, fuck off. Okay. Oh, look at you. Look at you sit right up. Because if you're about to say like, oh, I don't think I had a parking spot. It sounds like you fucking did. Fuck. Here we go.

Nah, lay it on me, mate. Actually, I'm calling this Who's the Jerk? Is it me or my neighbour? And it sounds like you're already, without even knowing it, not on my side, you're going to be on their side. I mean, if you ask me if you were a jerk and you answer, you'll say yes. I feel like it's an impartial jury and I'd like a reset. Okay.

Okay, so who's the jerk? That's the question we're asking. Who's the jerk? Okay, yep. I the jerk? That's the question we're asking. Who's the jerk? Okay, yep. I'm parked in my park. Not that we have parks, but if we did, it would have my number on it. What number's your house? Seven.

Okay, so you're supposed to be in number seven, all right. And I am in seven. Okay. Whoever lives in number eight, after months, never parked in their spot. Oh, okay. I'm just going to assume they don't have a car. And again, it's not like it's a garage area where they keep their canoes or it's just like a bit of concrete that's just there next to my apartment. Yeah, you can't use it as storage instead or anything.

So when Bridget and I have a car each, this is about a month ago now, after the lawyers have cleared this story. Torbs and I only have one car. Well, we do now because of possibly this story. I said, Bridge, just park in number eight. Next is in seven. I've never seen anyone use it. No.

The next day there's a note. I've never seen anyone use it. No. The next day there's a note. Hello, I'm from apartment or house number eight, townhouse or fucking whatever you call it. Yeah. I'm from number eight. Would you please not park in my spot?

Fair enough. And that's what I said. I've gone, oh, fair enough. Sorry, pal. So we'll move it straight away. Yep. I assumed maybe he was on holidays. He's back. Oh, yep.

Needs his car parked now. Yep. Maybe he didn't have a car now. He's got one. It's his park, by all means. No problems here. Yep. I reckon four or five days had gone past,

and I'd still not seen anyone in the park. Still no car. Yeah. And then I saw him going into his house. And I go, oh, g'day, man. How you going? Oh, sorry. Sorry I had my car in your spot the other I go, oh, g'day, mate. How you going? Oh, sorry, I had my car in your spot the other day.

You know, sorry about that, mate. By the way, what sort of car do you have? I don't think I've seen it. Yeah. Just kind of trying to. That is very confrontational, yeah. Oh, but I tried my best to be like, oh, yeah. No, but that's a confrontational question. And straight away.

Oh, he would have gotten his back up straight away. He just said this, I don't have a car,, he would have gotten his back up straight away. He just said this. I don't have a car, but I do have a car space that is mine. Oh, I mean, he is right. Not incorrect statements. Yeah. But considering it's not a garage, it's not a carport. Yeah. It's a piece of concrete with a number spray painted on.

Would you just let someone park there? I reckon he's a jerk. He's just getting stubborn in his backup because he's got nothing better to do with his time. I do agree with you that I think that maybe he came on a bit strong. I'm not talking about. Sorry, lady's talking. I do agree that maybe he's come on a bit strong by saying,

I don't have a car, but I do have a spot. That's like a bit rude. But he's not wrong. My question isn't about the confrontation. My question is about the car park. You question isn't about the confrontation. My question is about the car park. You're the jerk. Fuck you.

You're the jerk. It's his spot. All I've done for you. It's his spot. But if you're not using it, it's not costing him anything to like. I'm not saying that he's really done the right thing. He would rather my wife park a kilometre away, walk home in the dark. Is that what he wants? And that's not okay but it's also not his problem.

Well, it is if he's got a grieving husband next door that's wailing all night in tears. But, okay, so if I was the neighbour and you came and you were like, hey, bro, because you know what apartment he lives in because of the concrete on the floor, it says number eight, so that's his spot. You know he lives in because of the concrete on the floor. It says number eight. Yep. That's his spot. You know he lives in number eight.

If you went and knocked on his door and said, hey, bro, like my wife comes up on, you know, on the weekends or like we've just sold our car, we've just gotten a car, we're borrowing a car, whatever, we need to fucking park somewhere. I haven't noticed a car in your spot. Would you mind if we used it or like we can pay you per week or whatever? Yep. You offer money because they're always surely going to go,

oh, don't worry about it. Yeah, it's fine. But because you didn't ask, he was allowed to get his back up about it because you broke the rules. You do love a rule. I do love rules. Here's a question for you. Yeah, a question.

I'm trying to devote, by the way, because I see this is not going my way. Okay. What would you do? Yeah. We've spoken this week actually about the apartment block Facebook group. Oh, yeah. And can I tell you, it is rife with parking drama. You texted me some of it.

It looks great. I sent you a screenshot. The tea is hot. Oh, and it's like, whoever's car this is, get out because it's my spot. And then there's always people in the comments being like, oh, sometimes you just accidentally park in the wrong spot. That's not true. No, you fucking don't.

You don't accidentally park somewhere. No. When have you accidentally parked your car somewhere? Absolutely not. You have to really do it. Yeah. If someone was parked in your spot, Tony Lodge, Miss Non-Confrontational, Miss I Don't Like the Drama, what would you do?

See, I don't like the drama, but I also have anxiety. And if my spot was full, I would be really anxious about where I was going to put my car. Because there ain't no spare parks at your area. There's no visitor parking or anything. And my mate Ryan doesn't have a spare park because he's breaking the law and fucking the neighbours up. Because my neighbour's a jerk, I've had to sell a car. Yeah, well, now you guys only have one car. I had to pick you up today because Bridget wanted to go shopping, that bitch.

What a bitch. But, like, so then I would start panicking because I'd be like, where am I going to fucking park my car? What am I going to fucking do? Yeah, you'd have a meltdown. And it would be a whole thing. You'd be at my house crying. Oh, yeah, I'd be like, where am I going to fucking park my car? What am I going to fucking do? Yeah, you'd have a mouthful. You'd be in my house crying. Oh, yeah, I'd be freaking out.

So then I would have to go and park at the shopping centre. To answer your question, who's the jerk? You're the jerk. You've put someone out. They might have had a lady friend or a boyfriend coming round and you've salted their game. Salted their game. Yep, that's a cool thing to say. That is.

Yeah, because he couldn't fuck that person that was coming over because your car was in the way. You've cock-blocked them, car-blocked them. Hey, if someone parking in that spot's getting fucked, it's my wife. Sorry, I know Bridget listens to this. And she would be upset if she heard you saying get fucked, getting fucked, that you were fucking your wife. I don't do that to my wife.

I make love to her. Don't say that to me. Don't wink at me when you say that. All right. I want you to read this, Tony. Okay. This is a Tinder bio. Yeah.

Now, we've both been out of the game. This isn't bloody George Wendell's, is it? No, and you'll know why because it's not as aggressive and it says it's an open invitation to bring you friends. It doesn't have his last name on it. Read this from Kyle. So you're passing me a screenshot that's printed out? Yeah.

This is what someone's put on their Tinder bio, which is obviously a dating app, trying to attract women. Keep in mind. Yeah. Okay, I haven't read it yet. Yep. Kyle, 22. I don't...

What? I don't know who you are. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for a relationship, I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have is a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long sexual career. He's 22. Skills that make me a dream

for people like you. If you swipe left now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you swipe right, I will match with you. I will flirt with you and I will fuck you. What a rollercoaster.

That was a wild ride. So Kyle has gone with funny, obviously, because that is... Has he, though? Well, because that is, like, the thing from Taken. But maybe that's just his, like, stern, bold personality. But saying... He doesn't take no prisoners. He's here to fuck. Skills I have acquired over a very long sexual career. What a fucking wanker.

At 22 nonetheless. Like, imagine what he's acquired at 22. Oh, God. A long... Just, like, the cringe of calling it a sexual career. Like, let's think about the term sexual career. What the fuck is that? What even the word career? Unless you're a gigolo or, you know, a sex worker. If it's not your job, it's not a career.

Yeah. What a fucking weird thing to say. Skills that make me a dream for people like you. What the fuck? I hate this so much. Just the – oh. Do you think that if there's any redemption, and not that I'm Team Kyle, I fucking hate this guy as well,

is there something about him being like, I'm here to fuck you, that he's like not mucking around? Because sometimes – and I know this is when we're like joking around doing the in the bedroom. Yeah. But when a guy seemingly in those segments speaks to you directly, sometimes you go, oh, I just love the like. But I feel like I like that from someone I know and I trust.

Not from some 22-year-old sexual career. Yeah. Not from some fuckwit on Twitter, on Tinder, who's going like I'll flirt with you and I will fuck you. Like, you know what? All good if that's what you're after and you fucking see this and you go, oh, love the... Bravado.

The gall in that. Yeah. But for me seeing that, I'm like, oh, no, that's coming on a bit too strong for me. And I can't see a photo of this guy, but from that I can bet that I am not his type. What do you mean by that? You know what I mean by that.

He can't handle that ass is what you're saying. Absolutely not. That's not what I mean. I mean. He can't handle all this ass. I definitely don't think that he would swipe left or right or whatever yes is. I don't think he's swiping that on me.

You've never sounded so old. Why do I? I never used it. Yeah, I mean, we missed that. Yeah, I missed it. Do you want to go have a swipe later on? No, I actually. You're going to hang out with Kyle?

Do you know what? I deal with rejection everywhere. I don't think I want it somewhere else. I think we can all agree that whatever I was saying was correct. Okay, you're a jerk about the car park. But Kyle, you said sexy or nah? Oh, sorry, yes, yeah. Sexy or nah?

Nah, not for me. It's a nah. Not for me. Up next, I want us to, speaking of sexy. That was a weird thing to say. We're going to. What? This week we watched Batman or The Dark Knight.

Yes, we did. Which, by the way, was the first ever Batman film to not have the word Batman in the title. Oh, thank God. It was a fun fact. Oh, that's awesome. We asked everyone to watch it. We did. And...

Do you reckon people actually watch the shit movies we tell them to watch? Good movies we tell them to watch? Good movies we tell them to watch. The shit I've watched for you and you're going to come out here and say a Christopher Nolan epic. Heath Ledger won an Oscar. Posthumous. No, he stands up pretty tall.

What's posthumous mean? After he died. Oh, I thought you meant like posture. Posthumous. Yeah, he died. Oh, I thought you meant like posture. Posthumous. Yeah, no, he's all right. Emma fucker. Hardly, no. Fucking put Charlotte on again.

Courtney. Courtney, start to the C. Just like you, you're C. Hey, this is Courtney from Dunedin, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tony, who are we thanking? All right. We're thanking and we're drinking. Stacey Nansen, thank you so much.

Thomas Nand, big thank you. We were chatting on Instagram this week.acey Nansen, thank you so much. Thomas Nand, big thank you. We were chatting on Instagram this week. Matt Aldridge, thank you so much. And Lisa Govia, massive shout-out to our champion tarpers. We wish we could thank all of you every week. And as you'll know, we actually initially started trying to do that. We tried to thank everyone every day. And now, great problem to have, but it actually takes too long

and is really fucking boring listening to us read out a heap of names. So we're just going to do a bit of a lucky dip, make sure that the new people are covered and they get a little shout out. But love you. Thanks for supporting us. Leave your message after the beep. Thank you. Beep.

So we decided this week to watch The Dark Knight. Because it was Christian Bale week. Yes. Because I've been trying to get a Christian Bale film in for months. I really wanted to watch The Dark Knight. Because it was Christian Bale week. Yes. Because I've been trying to get a Christian Bale film in for months. I really wanted to watch American Psycho. So did I. It's my favourite movie. That's what I voted for.

My favourite movie. Yeah. And I wrote, what's your best CB movie? Yeah. Devine lives in Singapore. Hi, Devine. She said, in Singapore, CB means fanny. What's your favourite fanny movie?

She was like, I was a bit stunned, but interesting nonetheless. What's your favourite CB movie? Your favourite fanny movie? The Weather Woman. What's that? Google it. I'm not going to say any more. Okay, mate, that sounds good.

Pop that on for next week, baby. Cian Wood. Cian? Cian? That's Cian. Cian? C-I-A-N? I don't know, but S-E-A-I-A-N.

S-E-A-I-A-N. Yeah. Is that just Sean? Maybe. I said Cian Wood. Cian Wood. Oh, Betty Wood. Yeah, I know.

And it's not Tony after the podcast recording because she'll be Cian Wood real soon. He said, choose any movie you want, but I want Christian Bale to choke me. Oh, there was... What do you think of Christian Bale in this movie? So the only Christian Bale movie that I've seen before that I, like, really remember is The Big Short. Yes.

And that's a very specific character, isn't it? Yeah. It's a fucking really good movie, actually. I watched it like me and the rest of the fucking world after the GameStop short squeeze, the market thing. I was like, I want to understand this. So I watched that movie. It's actually a great movie to understand. It's actually a really fantastic film.

If you feel like watching it, it is pretty fucking long, but it's really good. Anyway, that was the only movie that I had seen with him in it. He's a great actor. There was a fucking scene in Batman. He's sitting on the side of the bed and the muscles coming out of his fucking leg. And I was watching it with Torbz, of course, and I was like, oh, he can get it.

And Torbz was like, oh, now you like Batman. Because he's all about it, isn't he? Well, yeah, he really likes like Marvel stuff, DC. Like he's a boy. He likes that shit. Which brings me to my first point about Batman. Sure. Torbz goes, so what are we watching this week for the podcast?

I was like, oh, the fucking Dark Knight. He just goes, oh, well, Tony, that sounds great. And I was like, well, I mean, it's really fucking long, so I don't know about it, but sure. To be fair, I didn't realise how long it was until I watched it. It is so long. I can watch a movie for 90 minutes maybe and that's it. Yep.

And he goes, oh, but you can't watch The Dark Knight without having seen the first one. True. There's a lot of carryover. So we watched two Batman movies this week. Oh, I didn't know that. No wonder it's taken you 15 years to watch the film. So as we've mentioned a lot of times, we both have full-time jobs

and we both have a lot on. We plan this show both have full-time jobs and we both have a lot on. We plan this show around our full-time jobs and do everything for it like in our spare time. So I'm finding like half an hour or an hour here and there to watch these fucking movies. And not only did I have to get through one but two. And they're both pretty long. They're both long.

And to be honest, I actually liked it more than I thought. But I don't really know if I took in everything that happened. Well, yeah, they're quite complex. It's not just like a random action film. Yeah. But there's just so much to remember as you're watching them. Like, Christopher Nolan, great.

Christian Bale does a great job. All good. Obviously, right now we're talking about The Dark Knight. Great movies. Heath Ledger, obviously amazing. But, yeah, it's not really my thing, but it was a good movie. I want to know, because after they did the three Batman movies, then Ben Affleck was Batman for like a movie and a bit. Oh, yeah.

And that was real weird. Now Robert Pattinson is Batman. Fuck, he's hot. You like him? Oh, I was such a Twihard back in the day, like such a big Twilight fan. Bridget's a massive Twilight fan. I love Twilight. I watch all of the movies like twice a year.

There's five, I think. All right, well, here's my question because you were talking about their hotness. Yep. I want you to rank the Batmans in terms of the actors. As in the people? Because I've only seen one movie. Yeah, just the actorsmans in terms of the actors. As in the people? Because I've only seen one movie. Yeah, just the actors and who's hottest. Okay.

So Christian Bale. Robert Pattinson. Ben Affleck. George Clooney. I feel like George Clooney could still play Batman now. George Clooney is fucking hot as well. Michael Keaton. Who's that?

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, Michael. He's the butler in Dark Knight. It's Michael Caine. Oh. You don't know who Michael Keaton is? No, who's that? Diane Keaton.

Can you please Google Michael Keaton? Hang on. Do I have everyone? Christian Bale. And Adam West, which is the Adam West from Family Guy. Adam West. Okay. Christian Bale, Rob Pattinson, George Clooney, Michael Keaton,

Adam West, Ben Affleck. And as you're listening to this, I want you to decide who you think's your hottest as well. Okay. So I'm just going to quickly Google Michael Keaton because I don't know who he is. People, of all the things they've ever screamed at, the fact you've never heard of Michael Keaton?

Well, like I know the name because of Diane Keaton. Oh, yuck, number what? No, he's number six. Okay. You don't recognise that guy? Oh. Michael Keaton. Yeah, I guess I do.

But he's not hot at all. Okay, he's number six. Okay. Let's start from the bottom and work our way to the top. Yeah. Start it from the bottom. All right, I'm just going to quickly Google Adam West as well. Actually, yeah, he's not going to beat Michael Keaton.

Okay, we've got a five. Okay, so Michael Keaton, then Adam West. Yep. So you're putting Adam West above Michael Keaton. Yep. All right, number four. Okay. Ben Affleck, George Clooney, Christian Bale or Robert Pattinson.

Okay. Then I'm going to go Ben Affleck. Okay. Do you like Ben Affleck? I don't really like. Have you watched Gone Girl? Mind. Yeah, I have. That's an incredible movie. I've read the book as well? I don't really like. Have you watched Gone Girl? Mind. Yeah, I have.

That's an incredible movie. I've read the book as well. I'm that bitch. Really? Yeah. It's really good. I bought it in the airport in Japan. Have you been to Japan?

I have. Must be nice for you and your personality. Yeah, it was. It was really good. A reader and a Japanese visitor. Look at that, guys. I'm a very cultured woman. Guess who's better than us.

Yeah. Okay. And then I'm a very cultured woman. Guess who's better than us. Yeah. Okay. And then I'm going to go George Clooney number three. Ooh. Because I love a silver fox. Yeah. And then I'm going to go Christian. Oh, Christian Bale was nice and muscly in the movie. If you saw American Psycho.

Is he hot in that? Jacked. Oh, really? And you see a lot of Is he hot in that? Jacked. Oh, really? And you see a lot of Christian Bale in that movie. Do you see his Willy Donger? When you see that going into places. Okay. It's a very arty, sexual, sea lots movie.

Oh, really? And he's very direct in what he wants in the boudoir. Should we watch that this week? See, now I know what gets you into watching a movie. Okay. All right. I think I've got my ranking. Do we need a drum roll or something?

Is that too much? I could actually find one. Oh, I could just keep doing that. Or I could find one. I could just keep doing that. Or I could find one. I could just keep doing that. Or I could find one. Can you tell we record this in a radio station? I literally just typed in drone into the computer

and it's like, which of the 87 would you like to play? And now, the number one. Oh, hang on. No, it's going to be a lead up. I'm going to read them again. Starting at number one. Hottest Batman. Oh, hang on. No, it's going to be a lead up. I'm going to read them again. Starting at number six. Michael Keaton. At number five.

Adam West. At number four. Why am I supposed to be doing those bits? No, it's all right. I got it. Ben Affleck. Number three, George Clooney. So it all comes down to this.

Number two, Christian Bale. Which means... Number one. I can't, as an official Team Edward girl, I can't go past Robert Pattinson. He's so fucking sexy. I do like a bit of Christian Bale now that I've watched Batman, but, yeah, Rob Pattinson, he can get it.

Let's watch American Psycho next week. Should we actually? I mean, even if not... Oh, let's just watch it anyway. Yeah. Because you'll see that and you'll be like... Oh, okay. Maybe Tobs and I will watch that tonight while we're eating pizza.

Yeah, it's fun. Because it's almost like so ridiculous, it's a bit funny. Yeah, okay. Like you laugh at us. It's a bit like cartoonish, right? More. But it's like the horror is that horrific you can't help but kind of laugh. A bit like Squids Games.

I'll pretend you didn't say that. How do you say that show? Squids Games. That's going to fuck people off more than Michael Keaton. Good, good, good. And I know it goes without saying but I just, the performance of Heath Ledger. Oh, incredible. He's just so great. Do you know what's really like an annoying part about that movie though? You know when

Harvey Dent is laying in the bed in the hospital and the Joker is in the bed in the hospital. Yeah. And the Joker is in the nurse's outfit. Yeah. And has the mask on his mouth. And Harvey Dent's just, like, sitting there or whatever. And, like, you can see the face paint and the hair and everything. It's clearly the Joker.

But he's got, like, a surgical mask on. And Harvey Dent's like, oh, this is all good, all normal. The Joker takes off the surgical mask and Harvey Dent goes, whoa, what? It was the Joker all along. It's so fucking ridiculous. Of course it was. He looks like the fucking Joker. His whole face is covered in makeup. He's got the face paint, like their green hair is poking out.

Like he's wearing a women's outfit. Like it's just so ridiculous. And like the whole film, I was like, this is fine, but I was just like, that's it. I'm fucking out. I was like, no, thank you. Bridget, the same scene. Said exactly the same thing. She's like, as if you didn't fucking know. It's just, yeah, it was just one

of those things where I saw it and I was like, you had me, Tilly. Might you love to see it today, this week. Today is a little bit niche. But there is a little island of Australia called Christmas Island. Yes. And it's in the news at the moment because an annual event is taking place.

Christmas? No. Beautiful time of year, I imagine, on Christmas Island. Every year, millions of little crabs migrate to the ocean. Oh. But there is, like, a big, dense forest area in the middle of Christmas Island. So they've got to get from the... So all of the crabs have to get from the...

The dense forest. The dense forest out to the ocean. They catch a bus or...? They just crawl through the city. Crab crawl. Yeah. Or they call it crawl because for them. Because it's just all they know.

It's like, I don't human breathe. Or human crawl, you just crawl. Sure. And there's all these crabs getting from one, the middle of the island back out. And they actually spend, the middle of the island, back out. And they actually spend, the humans on the island, spend six months in the lead up to the crabs,

building crab-specific bridges to go over roads and over rivers. For the crabs. So that the crabs can safely get back to the... You love to see that. Yeah, and there's all these pictures of... I'll put some pictures on in the Facebook group. But there's all these pictures of, I'll put some pictures on in the Facebook group, but there's all these pictures of families having barbecues and like crabs, like just millions of crabs. I love that.

It's really sweet. But the fact that, you know, they've obviously done that for a billion years and that humans are assisting them in their like evolutionary thing. Like normally we fuck nature, but actually we're, like, helping the crabs. Here's something I love to see. The human race doing one good thing for the environment. But it's quite cute.

So, yeah, for the six months leading up, they, like, build all these little crab bridges. I've got to show you the photos. They're so adorable. I love that. I found this TikTok account that is... I'll also put this in the group. It's this lady who I believe is caring for her grandmother.

Uh-huh. And it's sort of cute. The grandmother's really at the last stages of her life and she's just caring for her and stuff. Yeah. And she, there was this TikTok video because she's got Alzheimer's. Yeah. So her memory, you know, barely there. And when the grandma was 18 years old, so 70-something years ago,

she painted this picture and it's a beautiful painting. So the grandma goes and shows, sorry, the grandchild goes and shows the grandma the picture and the grandma's like, oh, that looks pretty good. That's great. Thanks for showing me. And she says, oh, grandma, do you know who did that? And she goes, no, I don't remember. And she goes, oh, you painted do you know who did that? And she goes, no, I don't remember.

And she goes, oh, you painted that. Like, you did that. You had a beautiful life and you created lots of great art and shared it with all sorts of people. And then she looks back at the picture and she's appreciating her work and the memory comes back because, you know, I believe you're stimulated by images and stuff. And so it's just this beautiful thing.

So I clicked on it and it turns out this whole account is like this lady, you know, taking care of her grandma. Oh, and sharing her life back to her grandma that she lived and being like, you did these amazing things. Yeah. That's so sweet. You do love to see it. And it gave me an idea and I don't want to cheapen what they're doing.

Yeah. So just. Disclaimer. Disclaimer. She did all those amazing things with her life. Yeah. When you and me grow old, Toni, and if I lose my memory, I just want you to tell me I did great things,

whether I did them or not. Oh, I would. Thank you. Yeah, I respect you enough to lie to you and make you have a great end. And then we go, I have had a great life. Yeah, and then you'll go, you love to see it. That's such a sweet story though it really is and just to see people caring about their you know elderly relatives as well i think that you know people kind of it'll be in the show notes and in the facebook group yeah we'll

pop all the info in there the crabs and the grandma oh my god uh that's a beautiful story, mate. I'm not laughing at that at all. That is so nice. I just, sorry for saying crabs in the grammar. All right, thanks for listening. Oh, there she is. Orla Phillips.

Oh, great. Oh, so you guys can find her as well. Yep. But thanks for listening for the week. I hope you loved it. If you've got any feedback, anything that you'd love to see on the pod. Let us know. Let us know.

Send us a DM. Jump into our Facebook group. We'd love to hear it. We'd love to know what you guys want to hear as well. And who's the singer here, Tony? You've got 13 seconds. Three meowner. Meow. 13 seconds. Remeowna.

Meow. Remeowna. That's not very good. We shouldn't end the week on Remeowna. No, I've got it. It's coming. It's coming. Meow. Meow. Meow-at-a-ca.

That's Metallica. Oh, God. Ballpark Meowzik, that Australian band. Yes. Oh, guys, we're sorry that it's ending in this way. Hope you had a great week. We bloody love you. We'll catch you soon.

Hold on. Okay. Holy Spirit, activate. Oh, no. Holy Spirit, activate. Holy Spirit, activate. Activate. Activate.

Holy Spirit, activate. Oh, no. Holy Spirit, activate. Oh, no. Holy Spirit, activate. Oh, my face.. Oh my goodness. Activate, activate, activate. Activate, activate, activate. Activate, activate, activate. Activate, activate.

Hold up.