Toni and Ryan - Why Everyone Should Buy A Toyota Camry

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Emotional beginning - Poop stories - Work perks - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you know what's crazy about fucking a Toyota Camry? It still wouldn't fuck the resale value. I'll not hear a bad thing about a Toyota Camry. You can do anything to that car and it'll sell for more than you paid for it. The Yaros, not that great, but the Camry, you make money. Make money. I wonder if Chris still thinks that every fucking is. Well, I'm my Yaros and let me tell you, I didn't get a lot of money for it.

Hi, I'm Teah from Lelwaite Canada. My name's Flynn from Paul England. Hi, I'm Ali from the Black Forest, Germany, and I approve this podcast. Emotions are high today, everyone, because we've just watched the Avecci tribute concert on YouTube. We're all feeling a bit emotional. We've all got the goosebumps are going. They're flowing around the office. We've just watched the...

That has actually made me emotional. It really does. The symphony orchestra are playing levels. It's just not something you ever thought that you would see, but it is absolutely amazing. You know what? It's getting to the business end of the year. And this is the time.

Genuinely, I'm not doing a bit here. Genuinely, I feel like this is when you do feel emotional about that kind. Like, you feel really like retrospective about the year, and you feel like, oh, what do I want to change next year? Am I happy about what have I done? what I've achieved and stuff and watching stuff like that this time of you just fucking, it's over for me.

Charles, can you put a geo-block on that video from mid-November to mid-January? I only want to... I can't have that at the same time as Christmas trees. No, yep, that's fair. Or within two weeks, either side. That's actually an amazing point. Yeah.

I think we should be able to see it from Jan 1 though because that feels like New Year, New Me. Yeah, okay. I'll, yep, second of Jan back. I'm glad that we have workshopped that, though, because I can't be stumbling upon that on a dark day. No. Like, I was shitting blood this week.

She's in a highly vulnerable state. Thank you. And I go, you know what I'd be great? Let's watch. Have you guys seen the saddest thing ever? Yeah. You'll cry more than when you watched Marley and me. Do you want to watch it?

It's beautiful. Oh, fuck, don't say Marley and me today. Shit. is a harrowing film. Yeah, it's really sad. Not just because of the acting, the stories. It's a pretty rotten film, though. But it's sad.

It's just so many plot holes. So many plot holes. That was like a believable couple as well. It's just not. No, but like she starts out of the star as the star in the newspaper industry and he writes little news things. And then he just writes a column about his dog and blows up. Like, that doesn't.

happened? How recently did you watch Marley and me? I don't think I've ever seen it. Were they living in Florida and there's too many kids in the pool? I literally, I couldn't tell you a thing about the plot. Because he's a serious journal, but he only gets kudos when he writes about the dog. And then they moved to Pittsburgh because he wants to be a real

journalist and she's like, I just want to be a mum. But she was the star of the show. Oh, no, I don't remember anything about the plot. It's a movie about newspapers and people don't realize that. Yeah, I just remember balling watching it. Yeah, it's five dollars. What year did that movie come out, Charles, Marley and me? 20,

M-A-R, nah, like 2012. 2008? Fuck. I remember watching that film. That makes sense. You would make that after the GFC. I remember watching that film with my mom. We, like, bought it on Foxtel.

So definitely not 2021. No. That's why I was like, I know that it was a long time ago. I reckon, yeah, like we'd be bought it on. Do you remember when you used to be able to buy? The fact you said I bought it on Foxxel, I was like, it must have been a while ago. Do you remember that, though? You could just buy a single film.

Yeah, and we watched it. And both of us, like, sitting just, like, bawling our fucking eyes out. I tell you what is also... Happy memories. Yeah. I tell you what is also making me emotional. What? I was sick of this beautiful mug just being a prop.

Yeah. So I've put a real cozy, Christmassy kind of coffee with some vanilla and some chock. What are you rolling over there? A little bit of chai, a little bit of vanilla, a little bit of coffee. And it just is really just, like... It makes me up a bit. It made me feel warm and cozy. Yeah.

Warm's my dark, cold soul. Don't say that. You don't have a dark cold soul. Well, not now because it's got warm vanilla chai. Full of chai. I almost don't want to do this story now because it's just such a beautiful day. What should we do instead? Well, considering I've got no alternatives, let's go with it.

We could head off. I've had a big weight, shitblood and Avichy, passed away. Well, I've got stories about Tarpers shitting themselves. Maybe it's too soon for us because of what you talked about. yesterday. No, it's like a tribute. Sorry, the tribute concert. I actually wasn't doing that.

But it's a tribute to my asshole. Because the other week, someone suggested that everyone should be allowed to shit themselves once. Once a year. Which is crazy. For some reason, well, for that reason, a lot of tarpers have gone, what a great opportunity for me to share a shitting story. And I love to say it. Patreon DMs are wild. Yep.

So out of respect, these are stories about tarpa shitting themselves. I love it. Or just shit related stories. Great. Chris. Hi, Chris. Christmas.

I recently shot myself in a Toyota Camry. Oh. After taking four zinc tablets. I know you guys recently talked about having too much magnesium can fuck you up, but zinc is equal is. bad. Do you know what's crazy about shitting in a Toyota Camry? It still wouldn't fuck the resale value.

You can flip those motherfuckers for like nothing else. I'll not hear a bad thing about a Toyota Camry. You can do anything to that car and it'll sell for more than you paid for it. I think if you're looking at an investment, don't buy a Birken bag, buy a fucking Toyota Camry. That'll keep you going until your fucking grandkids learn to drive. So, okay. So last week, I'm in a taxi.

and it's a Toyota Camry. Of course it is. And I go... Because... They don't die. There's nothing that can go wrong. And, because you know how we're kind of looking at cars? And I go, oh, how's the Toyota going for it?

And the guy goes, mate. This Camry will not die. Yeah. Because he's like got a... He was an Uber. But he's like, he's mates are Uber drivers and taxi drivers. So he's like, dude. We're chatting cars all the time.

And he goes, I've got a mate who drives a Camry. And it's done. a million kilometers. I believe it. I don't need photo proof. A Toyota Camry will get you from A to B if A is the year zero. Africa to Botswana. Hang on, are they close?

One's in one the other. They're in the same place. Yeah, okay. Well, Africa to Bay's Water in the outer suburbs of Melbourne. It'll get you from the fucking year zero to fucking the year 3,000. The guy said, I went 200,000 kilometers before I got it serviced. Oh, and you probably could have gone another two. Do you know what I mean?

They will never start. But when I, before I bought my Audi, I had a Toyota Yaris and I, an RIP, I sold it. And I said, like, oh, I've got a Toyota and they go, oh, you'll make so much money for that. And I said, oh, it's a Yaris. They go, oh, sorry, I thought it was a Camry. No shit. Really? No fucking shit.

The Yarras, all that great, but the Camry, fuck. You make money. Make money. I wonder if Chris still thinks after your Shadena is. Well, I shouted my Yarras and let me tell her I didn't get a lot of money for it. I sold my Yaris to a we do cars for cash in Mandra. Not even joking. The Europe and Perth.

And then I said, this is so embarrassing. I drove in and I was like, hey guys, what can you do me for? And they put it under the lights and it turns out it. Under the lights. Well, they're playing high school football. No, to see the like, because it is. That's funny. That's funny.

Yeah. It had hailed. recently and they could see the dints and whatever and that was a big thing in perth like buying a yeah and um buying a hailed car you could get a flawed focus charles no shit for like seven grand it was crazy time and so they go yeah we can give you three grand cash and i was like fuck yeah um you were working in radio at the time right huge money oh my god that's more than a year salary and i was like fuck yeah this is great and then they go great sign here sign here and then I went

can you drive me to the train station fair fair question I think and the guy goes I'm like I came in the car and I also drove it here and they go oh give us 500 back I'm sorry did I say 3,000 I think that's a fucking fair flock

can you drop me to the train station sorry we're talking about birth so I've turned into a fucking suburban dad oh that's a fucking fair flog any Toyota Yaris, mate. Oh, you wouldn't get that far in a camera. You'd get fucking far further than that, mate. And fucking third income, three grand. And the guy goes, and then he goes, yeah, but I'm taking you in the Yaris.

You're like, yeah, great. But he was like, you don't get in my car. A victory lap. Yeah. How many victory laps do you know that end at the Mandra train station? Maybe more walk a shame in the gym. Love them. Chris.

My mum told me to take zinc for the immunity. Yeah. I swallowed four 50 milligram tablets and headed to a tattoo appointment. Oh shit. You can like really get zinc poisoning. Like that's the thing. At the traffic lights, I stopped and just went like he's gone from zero to 100.

And in the camera, you do that in 2.5 seconds. I have too much I think the Porsche Cayans like fucking four and a half seconds that's really funny sorry I have too much respect for tattoo studios to just barge in and shit in one I appreciate that because there's often only one

like when you're getting tattooed like there's normally one toilet like next to the staff room and then the rest of the studios foot like if there's five artists working that's five clients yeah and this guy's called Chris but his middle name is not Ryan in Dallas

Because if Ryan was in Dallas with that tarpa Did you shit at that tattoo studio? Did you really? Yeah. Well, first of all, I shit most places I go. So that shouldn't be in a show. No, actually, no, I'm sorry. Thank you.

We were in the Gaborhood in Dallas. We were. I love the Gaborhood in Dallas. And the guy was getting a tattoo and I was like, Yeah. Where's the bathroom? And I was about 15 centimeters away from a guy getting tattooed. Because it was like me, a wall.

the 15 centimeters. I was 15 centimeters dilated for this fucking shit I was about to pop out. So Chris goes, I'm better. That was good. Chris goes,

I'm better than Ryan in Dallas. I'm not taking this into the tattoo. Does Dusty know that you shit right next to him getting tattoo? Well, he does now. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, Chris.

Keep going. So I did a U-turn and headed for the nearest servo. Poo to. As I pulled in, my body seized up and I just unleashed and the Camry was ruined. Oh. But my winter immunity was technically boosted. Oh, it's the zinc. I was like, oh, I don't know if it's good for your immune system.

Camry can do a lot, but I don't know if we can do that. Gulad. Now, Gulad lives in an area and I've heard of this around the traps where some people will like poisoning in parks so the dogs eat it. Oh my God. It's so fucked up. It's so fucked up.

It is so disgusting. So Tapa Goolad's like very aware of this. So he's walking his dog. And the dog runs up to this guy in the bushes and he's like eating stuff. Oh my God. The dog is eating stuff or the guy on the bushes is eating stuff. So Goulod runs up and says,

what did you feed him? And the guy kind of shuffles off and oh no, don't worry about a man. And just like leaves. And he's like, what did you feed him? Like have you tried to. bait my dog yeah the man to leave me

alone and call the cops immediately the man goes leave me alone and ran off do actually citizens arrest

hit him to the ground sit on his back gulad's taken a breath and as I recommend you should too yeah sorry I actually feel bad for that man

he was baiting dogs I went back to the spot and realized the man was just taking a shit in the woods which is fine what is not fine

is my dog, like, getting excited, going and jumping on this stranger while he's trying to poo. The dog ate the poo. The dog ate the, and, like, the sniffing that. Because you know how dogs say how the dog's poo? And they go, well, not on my fucking turf, bud. I'll sniff that. I'll poo on that. I'll have a taste of that.

So the guy is trying to eat this guy's shit whilst he's shitting in the past. The guy's not trying to eat the shit. The dog's trying to eat the shit while the guy's pooing. So the guy's like, I'm just trying to take a deuce. And this dog's fucking up his. Yeah. That's asked him out. Goulads chasing him, going, get him back here.

Sorry to say ass to mouth. Well, it's what happened. Direct from the supplier. He ate the shit out of the asshole. Well, no, touch the grass first, which is important. Oh, I feel so upset. Thank God of each you can't hear this. Off that beautiful tribute.

That is very upsetting. Finally, because I just want to clear the deck. That might be worse than baiting dogs. I think, like, and that's bad. The story, but on who, though? I don't know. That's just all round fucked. Because there's a guy that's taking many bush dumps.

I don't want some. Oh, my God. Imagine you're doing a poop and a dog just, while you're squatting, a dog just wanders over and starts eating it. You know what I mean? Stop! You know? Stop it!

Like, have some sympathy for the bush dumper. What? Oh. We need to do Tapa Michaela because I want to clear the inbox of these and move on. I feel like if I leave a story in my possession, I won't do well. Possession. The dog ate the shit. That's just rotten, isn't it?

Yeah. What's with dogs? People wouldn't eat a poo. She certainly wouldn't eat a human poo. She wouldn't. What a judgmental little. Yeah. She's fussy.

She actually is fussy about what she eats. Yeah. So I actually take that back. She wouldn't unless the person pooing was A grade salmon. Shut, a fucking full salmon out. Yeah. She goes, So was that I'm from a cold ocean?

Yeah. Oh, no. I don't do farm. I only eat from the Atlantic. I don't do farmed. Taup and Michaela. Hi, Michaela. Please, this has to be better than the dog eating the shit.

Oh, okay. Well, it is, but like what's better when you, you know? No, it's all fucked. I once bare handed my own poop picked it up out of the toilet and threw it out of my boyfriend's family toilet into the garden like out of the window

I was 16 and you know like still young enough for shit to be embarrassing Oh totally Literally And at your boyfriend's house as well Like he's just fingered you for the first time You don't want him to know you poo Yeah so she goes

Oh well I got to do a So I'll go to the upstairs bathroom To get it you know I don't want to be doing down here where the family is. And then his mum, bless her cotton socks, kind of runs up and goes, oh,

I'm sweet out, don't use too much toilet paper because the drains a bit, the toilets a bit. Totally. Too late. I flushed and realized that the toilet wasn't taken any of it.

It just sat. And then a huge Grogan is just sitting there staring. Staring back at her. Grogan! I panicked, opened the window, just grabbed. the poop and just threw it out the window and she's not that say that sentence again but say the

tea word tea say the tea word i don't know what the tea word is turd say turd she looked in the toilet grabbed the turd and throws it out the window now i think that was a viral story from years ago where this happened to a girl she tried to throw it out the window and missed and it just like hit the side of the fucking window frame. Oh, and then it would have hit the floor itself. And then she didn't know what to do. And I'm pretty sure the police were called. Okay.

So I haven't, I, I was thinking, does this sound a bit familiar? Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. So she's 16. She's thrown the turd out the window. From the second story, lobbed it into the garden. And then she said, I washed my hands a thousand times. And then I painted one nail. So when she got back from the bathroom 20 minutes later,

She's like, oh, sorry, that took a while. I was painting my nail. That's actually pretty smart. Is it? Is that weird? If someone been in the bathroom for a while, you go, oh, poor thing. But if someone comes out of the bathroom and goes, I was painting my nail, you'd be like, oh, you didn't want to hang out with us? Or you were painting your nail while shitting?

Well, no, because I guess it's like. What did these things happen in? I guess, I guess that you would go to the toilet. We just don't notice. Flush it. Then you go to the bathroom, which in most houses, especially like family houses, you watch your hands in the communal bathroom and you go

oh and then I saw that my boyfriend's sister has some nail polish in there and I loved the colour so I just like did a cookie yeah no I don't think it's great but I'm so sorry picturing the poo flying out the window

is just and then the dog ate it the dog didn't need it and it landed she's right out that we know it landed in a Toyota Camry. And it did not affect the resale value. Hi, I'm Taya from Lillowett, Canada.

I'm Flynn from Paul England. Hi, I'm Ali from the Black Forest Germany. And you're watching Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion taft was over at our Patreon. As always, thank you very much for being part of it. without you. Stace Cook, good on you, Stace. Stay sweet.

Vanessa King. Absolutely love to see it, Vanessa. King shit. Abigail Struchel. Strukel. Holy know her. Chris, good on you, Chris. Jamie Allman.

Very, A-L-L-M-A-N-D. Oh, Jamie Allman. That's pretty much the same name as Lily Allen. That's close. Kirsten Drow, good on you, Kirsten. And for those along playing at home, Lily Olsup that works here, is pretty much the same name. And she pitched that for a story topic. Kirsten Drell, good on you, Kirsten.

Rachel Shannon, good on your rage. Holly Stryker, Savannah, Mora, Harley Noah and Courtney Evans. Absolutely love to see it. Thank you very much. Who was that second last one? Savannah Mora, a Harley Noah. I added the Hardley Noah. That's not Savannah's real name.

Do you know what I'm back on? I've been off this in real life quite a few times. Just because of the admin, not because I don't really like it. Fucking homemade pizzas dog. Oh, huge. They, fuck, I. Yeah. And it's some, it feels healthier.

I think it. I don't know if it is, but it feels healthier. I think it is. Are you using a pizza stone? Yeah, on the bar, just on the barbecue. Right. So we've got like a, um, it's like a stacker. So it's two stones and so you can do like two pizzas like, it's.

So for us, obviously there's only the two of us. So it's perfect. 10 minutes in there? Um, oh, Torbs normally does it. But yeah, 10.15. Yeah. Um, how good. They.

Fuck. And you know what we do on the side? A little ball of barata. And then so like when you take... On the side of the top of the pizza? But like, so we do it on the side. And then like you do a little scoop on your slice of pizza. It's fucking...

So the hot pizza, so it's already got cheese on it. Delicious. We're doing all right. Already got cheese on it. What sort of cheese? And we just do like... Craft singles. Grated.

The moo cow cheese. Oh, we're doing those, we're doing Baby Bells at the moment because Mabel likes to peel them. But you know, the moo cow, like laughing cow, because Baby Bell is delicious and expensive, but the moo cow cheese, it's like... I thought that were the same thing. No, you know... Because I'm just a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's why I'm telling you that's not the same.

Okay. No, so that's like normal, like, graded cheese, like cheese block. And that's all melted, but then the barata's like cold. Yeah, so it's so good. I've got a hat. Most parents will know this, but a hack if you don't. Doing homemade pizza is a really great thing for, like, the child to help with. Oh, sure.

Because they, like, for them, like, sprinkling the stuff on is just like, they feel like they're helping and they're up on the bed. It's, like, such a fun little, like. It feels very social. It is very social. Like, it would be a really fun, if you had, like, a pizza oven or you had, like, a lot of pizza stones and you could do them a lot at a time. I reckon it would be a great thing to do, like, as a party.

Well, we kind of sit at the bench when we do a pizza and, like, the time, and we just put them in the oven and we can only fit one at a time. But the time it takes us to eat one pizza is the time it takes for the next one to cook. Yeah. So we're kind of just rotating through. Oh, what do we do next? Oh, let's do one of these. Yeah.

Chuck it in. Let's eat this other one and kind of just like, just get one of these going. No, that is good. So we're doing this. Yeah. This is what we're doing. And that is what it's made for, I think. But because we've got the two stones, we'll go like, oh, yeah, make one each, like, make a pizza each.

And then you can kind of just like, they're ready at the same time. And then do you share a slice or you go, no, Torbs has his and I have mine. Yeah. Yeah. You don't fuck with that. Well, he and I just don't normally put the same stuff on. What do you have on yours? I'll go, like, the red sauce.

Correct. Cheese. And then I'll do probably like pepperoni, mushrooms. And then, like, I put, like, a fucking heap of spinach on. okay and now I know why Torbs are the learning and so he's not interested in that but I do like a heap of spinach and then that because it just like cooks down

and it's basically like free veggies you know it actually is a good way to get the free veggies yeah because it's like a huge thing because you know how like a kilo of spinach ends up being like three things once you've cooked it when I buy a kilo of spinach I want it to be a kilo after I've cooked it

so true because I might as well just buy a packet of fucking air I like putting a whole bag just on the frying pan Like if I'm doing a scrambled eggs Just chuck some spinach chumped up It's like free vegetables I've heard But then by the time you finish scrambling the eggs You might as well a fucking not

Yeah and what's the point We went out for breakfast the other day Like on the weekend Oh this fucking dope place actually on Sydney Road Lobs it's called I don't know if you've ever been there It was pretty trendy No no no I will maybe

But it was real trendy It was they did not have that there I was so upset. But they did like a little sauteed spinach that you could get as like a side serve. So I had like the eggs Benedict or whatever. And I was like, oh, and I'll get the kale on the side. And it was so good. I've never had kale taste like good before.

Well, it's kale. Well, it tastes like shit normally. Yeah. I don't like the texture of raw kale because it's, you know, it's like really fibrous and like chewy. But cooked kale, I don't mind. But it's like often really bitter. but like they just oh they did it right take note lobesteroles how much do you think i'm not selling this place out i think this would be anywhere how much do you think that a side of

sautade spinach should uh sauteed kale would be at a cafe in brunswick on city road i know what it should be it should be three dollars oh yeah three three i reckon they charge nine dollars no it wasn't that bad actually six yeah six dollars for a little ramekin i caught seven dollars for a side of asparagus and there was two twigs of asparagus and asparagus cooks down also like they're pretty like fat when and then after you've charted them they're fucking what is it an old broom you know what actually though yeah actually because it like shrivels up like an old cock i am very into pizza.

I'm very, I'm really into like, we've been cooking lots at home and we've been like going out for, like, we have, we've actually haven't ordered food for delivery in over a month. Well, that might explain some recent business decisions. We set menu log out of business. Yeah. They go, fuck. We're really down in reservoir.

Is there a link between Tony not ordering as much food and the closure of one of Australia's great delivery services? That's a real shame. I might have to call my lawyer. We might have to sort that out. They might have to call you. That might be my fault. I reckon we just push on from there.

So I know that we just did like a really good joke about that. But genuinely, we actually haven't ordered food in. No, no, but like that's huge for us because we would all, Because, like, I was like, oh, I don't want to go out. And especially when I had broken foot and stuff. And so being, like, actually venturing out, it's great out there. It's great out there. Yeah.

I love out and about, Tony. Yeah, me too. And you know who loves out and about Tony? Who? The other people out and about. That's nice. They do. I'm just loving it.

They love it. I get to talk to so many people. And they would probably love it. I love it. I'm chatting with everyone I see. You, yeah. My grandpa was like that. You couldn't go fucking.

anywhere. The waitress goes, can I get you something? Oh, she doesn't know what she's just asked. Oh, yeah. She's just committed the next three hours of her life. But I think it's... But it's always someone. Yeah.

Where's Grandpa? He's fucking chutting at that table over there. One of them mentioned fishing and he's over there. Yeah. Someone said over there that and he, oh, hang on what? Did you guys just mention it? Yeah, and off he goes. See, I like that.

Yeah. And I think that they, we attract each other. Yeah, thank God. But often, yeah. So like, no one would talk to you because, because they know that you wouldn't like it. Yeah, they'll find each other. Yeah, you find, you know what you can attract in each other.

But often, because I've got, like I've said, legally, one of those faces. And so when I'm out and about, I get that all the time. Yeah. All the time. And I like it. And they love it too. And I love having a yarn with some, even if it's just like, oh, fucking, oh, have you been to this place before? And you go, oh, yeah, bloody, pretty good.

And then you keep walking. It's just nice. I was about to say. Like, not every chat has to. to be your three-hour. I once asked Grandpa how the sundial worked. Oh, no, that's asking for trouble. You can't ask a chatter instructions.

No, but that's when I learned. Like that was, and I was like, oh, I'll make note to not do that again. Yeah. I was just about to say, it's a shame he didn't get to meet my grandpa, but maybe it's a good thing. No, I think I would have kept him alive. He'd still be gone. Yeah, but I think like the two, like, like, your family wouldn't see you again. Oh, no.

Our family wouldn't see grandpa again. You'd just be two old ducks fucking... Down at the I-G-A. Yeah. And you know what? And not a cup of tea would be safe because you guys would just be gassing it up all day. Oh, another cup of tea while we keep chat. Oh, I've got to go, no, I've got to tell you a story about that thing.

Put the kettle on again. Do you know what's magic to my is when you're with someone and they go, did you want to get another drink? And you go, settle in. Yeah. I love that. That's what I mean, not a safe, Earl Grey Leaf in the house. And it starts with talking about the fuck a chia in the bakery section. And then all of a sudden, you're talking, God knows what.

So true. Now, I'm going to need, I know you're a great actress. Yeah. I know you're the audio queen of the show. Thank you. And I'm going to need you to, just with a sound and a facial expression. Yeah. Describe something.

Okay. And it's interesting that we brought up the price of spinach. Because what's that got to do with the price of fish? We're hitting the hot topics. Tony. Yes. Using just the sound and a facial expression. describe the cost of getting a haircut.

That was pretty good. Honestly. I wish. You know what? What did you say? Did you say honestly? Honestly. I've just shown Tony a picture of Muscab.

That's great here. He lives in London and there's a screenshot and says honestly because he's just done a real. Let me tell you what he's done. Okay. He flew 2,000 miles because it was cheaper to get a haircut in Morocco than where he lives in West London because London barbers are expensive as fuck. Yeah. So, I believe that.

Muscab, or should I just say legend, would normally pay 40 pound for a short back and sides. That's the going rate in London on the west side there. What's that? 80 bucks, Australian? Instead, he got a 15-pound flight to Marrakesh and an eight-pound trim, saving $27. Pounds. Saving 28 pounds. 27 pounds.

Leave all that in. Okay, cost-saving queen. I absolutely love that. He knows the value of a dollar. Pound. Pound. That's a nice. I need to get a little holiday out of it as well.

Yep, then he's in Marrakesh. And then he was going to see some friends in Spain the week after. He goes, oh, I'll just go straight from Marrakech. Saved even more. He's just a fucking legend. How much does it cost for you to get your haircut? I know you always go to a different place, but just roughly. Between 40 and 70, but usually it's because it's like 35 for a haircut and 20 for a beard trim.

And, you know, they fucking do all the works. Yep. So, yeah, I'd say, but I know London is closer to Marrakesh than Melbourne is to Marrakech. But the facts don't lie. What do you reckon they, what do you reckon they charge for a ladies' cut or a die job or something? In Marrakech. Yeah. Because maybe I should make my way over there because it costs so much to get your hair done.

Charles, how far is Marrakech from Riga? Oh, yeah. Charles, how far is Marrakech from Reservoir? far the good side yeah five hours nonstop

from reget americas oh if we go Ryan air there's Ryan yeah you're Ryan my air I can't see any Ryan air flats

I've got air blotet more like Ryan hair got to get your hair done this is going to be flying Ryan hair this is going to be the new Kentucky

you just go on a on a trip with a group of friends and you'll get your hair cut did we trademark flying John because it should have been flying Ryan air

yes yes so that's good stuff that's clever so I saw this story the other day do you know our mate

Sam Kelly from hello social yes sorry for saying yes so aggressively so we were talking about fucking haircuts

because how cool and then I mentioned muskab and he was like oh yeah barbers are fucked and he goes so

recently we've just installed this new initiative in the workplace, which is a big workplace. Once a month, they get a barber in. And like, he's like, the lads just all line up. It's like a really fun afternoon. They get a bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar bar baron. Shave my chin. Barbarine.

you got me cutting and you can't you got a bar bar bar bar bar bar bar that's pretty good we should I think we could take that to the studio I think we need to lay down them tracks that is a great fucking idea yeah he's like great perk

and you know saying oh football table give me something productive because they're like getting a haircut as we all know it's during business hours well guess what a lot of us have jobs yeah and when do you go and the Saturday's booked out 10 years in advance that's the thing this Saturday it's so tough so you get a barber hey yeah come in on a Tuesday are though there's eight blokes here we'll just like taking it when you

who's next I like that child do you like that I do like that well the other day after we're up for a swim I went to the barber at like three o'clock uh Tommy do you like the sound of that Lily would you like a barber to give you a little buzz cut Not balls, but hair cut yet Okay, Tony Lodge Yeah, I'll do it No, no, would you When you say you'll do it

You'll be the barber? I can be the barber I showed your head No, but when you said I'll do it It sounded like you were saying I'll be the barber that comes in on Tuesday Nah Cost cutting

Yeah, hair cutting Yeah, it's actually a barbering, Charles Barbara Barbara No, I don't think that I would Is that an initiative we can bring in in 20 2020 Twix? It, I think so.

I really like it. Yeah. Now, I put a message in the group chat the other day and said, if we could have a work perk, what would you want? Yeah. What did you? I reckon. Because I'm pro- Barber.

I'm very pro-Barber. And I'm going to walk you through my thinking pattern here is that I thought about classic things that kind of you get offered in, like a co-working space or whatever. I didn't think services, but it would be great if someone came and like, did your nails or something. So I'm thinking like, barber,

well, I'm not going to go to a barber. And I've got a lot of hair. So it would, it would just take too long. But like, if someone came and did your nails while you had one hand on the laptop and someone else did the thing,

that would be fucking awesome. How long does it take you to do your nail, like at your nails time? If you're going to get your nails done, maybe like, it depends. But like about an hour. I think instead of going one hand on the keyboard,

board one hand I think we just give you the hour they can come in but you don't have to work like tools down yeah pause up and it's funny because the workplace that does the bar bar a lot of the girls are like love it I reckon this is our and I hate to be like points want this but they're like hey we love it we'd also love this and they're like okay well well I think because you have to cater to everybody because some people like would be like yeah well I'll use the barber and people would be like well I won't because I've got a hairdresser I go to whatever but nails would be awesome but the initial thing that I thought maybe I was hungry at the time I love that co-working is the barber is actually not cutting hair but he's cutting up pieces of cheese

for me to but like a like a themed kind of Friday Arvo yep so one of the workplaces that I oh it was at SDA in Bumbrey yeah once a month a different department would do like put the drinks on and they would have like so it would be like oh this week like the content team are doing it and they're doing a little Mexican night so we're having like nachos and margaritas and like you know and then the but because we don't really we all work from home some days or we come in in the morning and then work in the department's in the Charles department yeah but like so less departmentie but like I love the idea of like a little themed food on a Friday arva or something that's quite fun that's

fun Charles what did you uh when I put that in the group chat did you even look at that I don't remember seeing it but um i would like a four-day work week in summer hey how about i no no no negotiation yeah it's not a four-day work week but like every day if you go for a like you can go for a swim every day and like you don't have to be you know because that if we go to when we've gone to the pool it takes like a couple like to get there you got to get changed and stuff so it's like instead of a four-day work week what if it was like you work the five days but it's like what if we worked four days and swam on those four days and still had the friday i mean that's also a sorry i was just trying to be professional business person

i have seen some places do a it's a thing right in summer yeah yeah but then did they get smashed in winter yeah i don't know how it works i'm very interesting where's the two where's the given shove what's the saying i'm going for give and take so then um is it like you do daylight savings out the second that the clock goes back you're back to five days a week. That sounds shit. Well, as soon as the weather goes bad again. Oh, the weather's... No, but because you've got to draw a line somewhere, so I'm like, oh, geez, that we're in

Melbourne. The weather's fucking... If you, if we based it on the weather, who knows where we'd be. Yeah. Yeah. So, hang on, but if it's a four-day work week, yeah. Is that so that you can swim on the Friday? You swim during the day here anyway. I don't think it's about swimming, though. You, that's what you said. So the thing about a day off. Did I? Yeah. yeah so the thing about a day off is you get to do whatever you want no i thought that you said swimming no you definitely brought that up yeah it's like that time that i mentioned the tunnels going under here and everyone else claimed that they said it um but sort of the different um

sort of the different Lil if you can leave the legal department briefly and come on over and Tommy your next what did you first of all did you see the message and what perk would you like and are you pro barber and pro nails yep I saw the message um I'm pro-barba and pro-nails. I'm pro four days a week. All of those actually sound great. Okay, well, if you're doing four days a week, then you can probably go get your hair cut.

You get your nails done on the fifth day. I have worked somewhere where you could get your eyebrows done, which was good. I think that is similar energy to a barber. I'll get my nails done. It's so relaxing. Which was just good time because, like, yeah, it's just efficient for time. Because getting your eyebrows done also, depending on where you get it done, it can only take like 15.

minutes yeah depending on what you're getting done will they get the the long gray ones out for me i could just do that for you now 100 bucks that's a bargain you got to fly to marrakesh for those kind of price but my official answer is um i think that we could step it up from the massage chair and have a masseuse hey blue sky ideas love it the fact that you the fact that you said that where the massage chair can see you like i'd hate if you You get a massage day, Lil. Oh, Sophie's calling. No.

Yeah, okay. Tommy, what's your perk? I liked the idea of the services. So that's got me to change my answer. But I actually think a team to come in to wash our cars would be really cool. I've thought about this before. And that is a wonderful perk. You've thought about that before?

Yeah, because it takes a whole day on a Saturday for me to get my car. car detailed. I want that. I changed my to that too. Are we going to the same place? Because when I pay $11 down the road, it does not take it a whole Saturday. No, to get it detailed, it takes a whole day. Oh, okay.

Oh, so you want them to come in and proper? No, I don't need my car detailed every week. Well, inside an hour, but what an incentive to get people to come into the office. Yeah, could like bring your car in and we'll wash it. I could just go down there in my bikini if you want and I can do it. First of all, yes. I think... Working at the car log.

Every time I watch the six... You guys are like, should we record an episode? I'm down there watching everyone's car. Yes. You should film it and give it to me. I'll give it to you, don't you worry. I feel like every time I watch the six o'clock news,

Commonwealth banks complaining that no one wants to work in the office. That's a great idea. And all the workers are like, we don't want to and the boss is like, you have to. Not a lot of car wash chat. They're all missing the fucking point of employment, which is getting your car wash. That's a great idea, Tommy.

I think that that's good. That's good. Because I've, you know how around the corner? The car washes are on a Friday. You decide if you come to work. Oh, I can spend the $12. That's easy. Yeah.

It's a car detail. No, it's not. Once a month. A car detail. Fuck, cost a fortune. Yeah. Oh, we wouldn't know, mate. It does cost 14.

Let me tell you. I like. the car washing you know how around here there's that really fancy car detailer yeah because I've thought like oh imagine if I dropped it off there but no that I can't even afford to drive in there no you my car's not nice enough to go into their garage I actually got a car loan to try and pay off one of his washes I'm on a 12 month plan yeah you added it on yeah you go put it on put it on the mortgage um all right so we've got a barber we've got nails we've got a car wash We've got a four-day week.

We've got, what was the mass masseuse? Yep. And you went for the, what do you go for? Cheese. The cheese. The themed food. The themed food. Because I hadn't thought about services.

What was your answer, Tommy, before you considered services? I was thinking a bowling lane. Bowling's awesome. We could all go to the Keys. They serve steak there. I love the Keys. I thought you were going to say I love steak. Oh, why?

I do. Charles has been going there for trivia. Yeah. There's a bowling, a bowling alley. No one gives a fuck, Charles. Sorry.

Sorry no one cares about you, bro. No, I respect that, Charles. I said it. Great job, Tony. Do you know that they're

building a tunnel under here? I've heard that. From Charles. What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? I've got to you love to see it. And I didn't plan this. I just want everybody to know.

My love to see it is car washes. My love to see it is getting my eyebrows. I was trying to work. Do you remember when we talked about Matt and his family from Timber and Blade, the barber in Tennessee? Yes. So we ended up paying for, we bought a voucher and we paid for a bunch of haircuts.

So if anybody went in there. Any tarpers went in there. Sorry, if any tarpers went in and said like, oh, I heard about you on the show, like they'd get a haircut on us. Danielle has message in Patreon and said, just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you guys. Went and saw Matt today at Timber and Blades so my fiancé could get a haircut while we're in Tennessee and it was covered by yawl. And I don't say y'all, but that's what Danielle said.

So like, respect. As a baller and a yorla, thank you for using that terminology. Love it. Hot ass. That was great. Thank you. And then I said to Daniela, how was it? What was Matt like?

Was it awesome? And she said, oh my God, I think we want to move to Tennessee because the haircut was so good. And I mean, if that doesn't tell you what you need to know. Well, if I didn't just learn of a hookup in Marrakesh, I might be in the same area, but I think I'm good. You're all right? Yeah. But isn't that so sick that we brought tapas together, tapers in the wild?

That is sick. I love that. I don't know if we've got any haircuts still on the card. I don't know how many have been used, but if you go down there, whether it's covered or not, you should go down and see Matt because he's a good. I should have gone first because that was a beautiful you love to see it. But mine tied in. Segway.

It did. No, fair, fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think about the content, mate. My, thanks. My love to see it. Air check. Yeah, wow.

Just call me DB. Did you know one time in an air check, I got told, um, you said it was nine minutes to eight. You should have said it's, uh. 7.51. Yeah. We should have. They got you there. And that is on me.

Yeah. Who said that? It doesn't matter. Does it start with an A? Who have I had that starts with an A? Oh. No, she wouldn't have said anything. Oh, yeah, no, no.

But probably not, no. No. Love it. My favourite Instagram account is my love to see it. And it's called advice for shitty people. Great advice for shitty people. Hang on. Is this you giving this to me as a suggestion?

No. No, no, no. I just want to... This isn't an atting situation. I just want to enjoy the comments. Okay. Great advice for shitty people. Instead of walking off during an argument, moon walk off.

Could you imagine just being in a little thing with you? Why did you do that? Ryan, you haven't washed your dishes. I was going to go-to comment. Do you know where the dishwasher is? Nah, you know what? This is not an adding situation. When someone asks,

where the bathroom is, go, why? I would start to cry. Hey, sorry, Tony, do you know where the bathroom is? Why? Oh my God, I'm a secret. I really was good at that. Now, we might actually do this, which is surprising. Point out no matter what the invitation, it's not a date.

Do you want to come with me to get coffee? You're friends. Nothing weird or anything. Charles and I've never said that to each other. great advice for shitty people have a VIP section at your house party doesn't that make you want to vomit can you imagine if you're no no you just didn't imagine if you came over to my house there's like a velvet rope around my bench seat

yeah oh no no no you can still on catch if you want yeah maybe outside uh when someone asks your phone number uh just say it as one long number do the whole thing in one what Did you get that? Could I get your phone number? Yeah, it's $55,530,982,000, 145. Is that your phone number?

No. Oh, thank you. I hope not. Why would it start with a billion? Oh, hang on. It's one number. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even think.

I thought you meant like, oh, for away, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And just I hope they got the whole thing. It just, it's what used to say one number. As the numerical value. Yeah. Well, yeah. But I'll start with a zero. in Australia.

Well, it would be, yours would be $408 million. Oh, sorry, $408 billion. Blink a ding, bong, ding, dong. I don't think you know how numbers, Sam. And finally,

great advice for shitty people. When you're standing in line, tell the person behind you to stop following me. Can you stop following me? Why is obsessed with me? See, if someone did that to me in public, I would start to cry. Yeah.

Oh my God, I'm not. I'm sorry, I'm just also waiting for this thing. They'd be like, ew. So just a coincidence that we're both waiting for the same thing. Yeah, why is I'm zuzzle, man? Oh, sorry, one more. After you shake hands with someone, smell it. Like, I'm nice to meet you, Tony.

Do you know where the bathroom is? Why? Great advice for shitty people is the Instagram account. And every time it pops up, it makes me piss. I've never seen that before. That's how I'm good. different. Yeah, what's yours at the moment?

Huh? What's yours at the moment? Ooh, a lot of craft. A lot of Christmas craft at the moment. Still a lot of Porsches. Should we both do five scroll-ups and share? Yeah, all right. In Instagram or TikTok?

It has to be Instagram. My TikTok's too weird at the moment. Okay. All right, I've just hit the Reels. And you should do this with your friends. I've just hit the Reels tab. Okay, ready? one, two, three, four, five.

It's someone doing a skit of the wicked press interviews of like Cynthia and Ariana Grande, like being obsessed with each other. So it's like a comedy skit. That's cute. And I'll take that because I'll be honest, it's rogue. Some of it has been rogue. One, two, three, four, five. Oh, it's like an interior design.

This one's funny to practical, not completely off the table. Don't write diabolical. I'm just trying to warn you about how far this actually goes. This could be somewhat realistic. Somewhat realistic. Somewhat realistic. This one goes for about eight minutes. Okay.

So I'm just going to save that up. Oh, there's a horse in the... But it's basically in it... You never know? I'm going to hear that. So I would have no money. Still. I get a lot of interior designers, but it's like, how dumb.

Yeah. I get interior design stuff. What should I do? I get interior design stuff, but I always love how creative it is. So it's like, oh, have you ever thought about like ripping that cupboard out and putting your desk there and then you'd have all this other space? I'm like, what? I saw one the other day where it was, yeah, like this weird cupboard they didn't need.

And they turned it into a slide that went downstairs. and came out in the lounge room below it. And I was like, saved in my future dream house folder. Oh, my God. And a warning, if I ever build my own house, never pull anything from a bookshelf. Oh, because you'll end up. Who knows where? Yeah, you'll fuck.

Do you know what would be really, really cool if you and I, like, had a little secret tunnel from each other's house or something? That would be cool if we didn't live 40Ks from each other. But, like, if we, I'm thinking, like, a future. Yeah. Imagine if we did a compound. and like we live on opposite ends of the thing but we got a little

we got a little tunnel I think if our houses like this we would have like a underbelly speak easy here but it has to be low so we can both slide to the middle bit because I don't want to walk I only want to slide but then what happens when we have to go back up there

we go back up the escalator oh great did I mention the escalators no but work those into the budget imagine also if you were just like oh we're sending Mabel over but we live close enough for walkie talkies Tony

Tony you there Mabel's on her way over We could do smoke signals That's fun I've always Stand outside Have a sticky

And go yeah Ready for you I've always wanted I've always wanted to do Like in apartments Across the street Like you flick the lights Oh yeah

Ready for you Yeah Want to come over for tacos Yeah That's what we call it My taco Love you so much We'll be back tomorrow

Love you And you know What's great About being alive Everything See you there Normal or nah tomorrow. Yay.

Being alive and normal or nah. Two great things to look forward to. Normal or not being alive. Normal. Love it. Bye. Not my mum though. Bye.

Bye.