Toni and Ryan - Why You Should ALWAYS Knock First

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Toilet incident - NORMAL or NAH - Saucy lil piggy- love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is sponsored by the Audible original Pride and Prejudice, an intimate performance that will have you falling in love with the Jane Austen classic all over again. One of the greatest romance novels ever written. Your wife Bridges are Pride and Prejudice fan, isn't she? Huge, loves it. Well, she'll love this. It stars a full cast, including Marisa Abella, as Elizabeth Bennett, and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy, plus Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill

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I just can't something about it. I need... What's the opposite of Viagra? A box of hummus. I'm Katie from Dundalk, Ontario, Canada. I'm Sarah from Tonkary, New South Wales. Hi, I'm Polly from Hawkesbury Upton. And I approve this podcast.

Um, sorry, it's a Thursday. Something's just, something's just occurred. Um, I thought Tony went into the bathroom. So I was like, I'll just go into her onsuit because I need to pee. Turns out someone was already peeing in her onsuit. Yeah. And, um, because the door to the onsuit was open, but the door to my, to my room was closed. I thought that would be enough.

The fact that the view from the door goes straight through and then I open the door and Tony just goes, um, yeah. And this is going to sound strange and I don't know if you know this. Yeah.

Charles actually filmed the whole thing. Like from, from this way. So he saw me open the door and go, uh, and then he heard the moment. It wasn't that bad. You didn't have to like,

It was good. No, it wasn't that it was bad. I was just like, you know. It sounded like you'd seem like a horrible ghost. No, I just felt bad because, you know, some privacy to go to the, you were just sitting, the only thing you were wearing. Is the red bra. Was a red bra.

Which is still the only one I could find. Yeah. But just one red bra and just you're sitting on the toilet and just the, uh, because what can, yeah. What can you do? What can you do? Yeah. And I mean, if you can't pop a squat in your own non-sweet, in your own house, in your own

house where fucking can you like yeah luckily i wasn't doing anything weird like i was just sitting on the toilet like what what if i was like changing a tampon or something and you would have gotten a real bloody sight for sore eyes then sorry i'm just i've got a bit of a sore tummy right now so i just was here oh you know just having a moment

taking a breath london hang i get it yeah yeah so i thought you were doing that in the other bathroom so i was like i don't want to interrupt you yeah and so what I will do instead is interrupt you yeah I just thought never in a million years would you go into my bedroom because we have two other toilets arguably the one that is you know what I've never actually been in your on suite to go to the bathroom forever and that's why I didn't because I went down to that bathroom and then I saw the door shut and I was like oh she's in there and I was like oh I've already come this far yeah Heaven for me to walk five metres walk back this way.

Yeah, I'm sorry, mate. No, no, no. You know what? I'm sorry because you're going to have to get therapy after saying that. Yeah, that's a shame. Better help. Use code Tarp, 10% off. I need, what's the opposite of Viagra?

A box of hummus. Welcome to the show. My name's Ryan. This is Tony. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. If this is the first episode you've ever heard, Ron and I have seen each other in a lot of situations and that one is actually a first.

A first on the toilet, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw you on the toilet during the tarpathon when you used the... Oh, but that was in front of, like that wasn't... The jail toilet. You didn't walk in on me. I was just there.

Yeah. Yeah. And you were prepared, I would say, you were like wearing a shirt. Mm. Yeah. Because this is the thing is not that it was just like... Why did you have a top offer? You one of those people...

Because I was getting ready to record this podcast. Because you know my mate Johnny. He has to take his shirt off to poop. You know that I have to take all my clothes off if it's a big poo because I get a bit hot and a bit overstimulated. But that's what I thought. When I saw you nude, I was like, oh, maybe she's really going for it in there.

Well, I was. Like I just said that I've got a sore tummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got a sore tummy. Yeah, no, we get it. And you should get that more than anyone. I do get it. You're always shouldn't.

I am. Yeah. Really not. Yeah. Anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Long or not. Lola, seeing your best friend on the toilet.

normal now so normal thanks for sending these through they come through the Tony and Ryan Facebook group or some people message in Patreon some people go to

Tony and Ryan.com.com. Sorry I can't stop thinking about it I just can't stop thinking about it. I don't think I will ever unsee the face of you just going like the shock

and the turn It was like, you know, those real dramatic turns in, like, days of our lives? What's the other one? Like the bold and the beautiful. When they're like, and Tammy said, you won't be the next in the empire. It turns out he has a brother. Have you ever watched Arrested Development? You know that uncle that we thought had died?

Well, it turns out he's still alive. And it's me. Have you ever watched an arrested development? Yeah. Oh, like, Job's. wife is in, like a Mexican, like a Spanish soap opera. And yeah, it's a lot of that. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, I really can't think about it. Molly. Hi, Molly. My name is Molly and I celebrate my half birthdays. Love it. My birthday is in February, too close to Christmas. So in August, we celebrate my half birthday and my parents will give me a gift.

That's really sweet. There's just too much time without a day all about me. Chapter. My boyfriend thinks this is stupid. Is having a half birthday normal or nah? Ryan and I are like reformed, semi-reformed on the way to reformed birthday haters. You could, like, we're entertaining the idea that we might not hate our birthday.

interesting that you start entertaining it just before your birthday I'm not really a big birthday person but considering mine's in Tony's is in November Normally it's the opposite Normally I kind of start coming around to it Then my birthday comes around I go no fucking way

But you know Question Yeah And this is with Molly being like They're too close together Yeah Because I'm getting you burks in November Yeah

Can they be your burks by November but and birthday and Christmas. Yeah. Well, not Christmas because you don't know who you'll get for Secret Santa. Oh, but like, I'll, yeah. Because you don't know who you're going to get. That's separate, but I'll, you know, I'd get my best friend something. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah. But if I got you in the K. You never have. Well, I've got you in the KK every year. Maybe. Maybe. Not sure. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't need anything. Like I don't need any. need any presents from you. Well, you needed a shirt and pants about five minutes ago. No, you're not allowed to be nasty about the toilet incident of 2025.

Do you know what I would say, though, is that February, saying that February is close to Christmas, you actually kind of can't be further from Christmas. Yeah. Because it, and this is not like the gag, but it was last year. Like, I, because. When you say you can't be further, what about January? But like, do you know what I? Because January, I think, still has the essence of like,

the festive season. Yes, the cheese time, you know. Between Christmas and New Year where, like, you eat a lot of cheese and you don't know what day it is. The cheese time. January still has essence. Does, can you make this a reel and posted during cheese time? Happy cheese time.

Yeah. You filthy animals. Because January still has essences of like, people might still be on holidays and there's still, you know, things going on. That's in the Southern Hemisphere. True. Northern, they're back on the second, bro. Yeah, that's true.

But, you know, here, because it's still summer, the cricket's still on. You've still got Christmas ham in the fridge. Well, you can have that to a March. It'll be good enough. You shouldn't. But, but, you know, February, I'm like, oh, no, you can't use Christmas as an excuse anymore? So the Labor Day weekend is the second weekend of March. And I remember having in Victoria. Some places, yeah. Because it's different everywhere, is it? But it was about the second

weekend of March when I lived in Canberra. And I, the radio station I worked for gave me a Christmas ham on the 15th of December. And I ate some of it for that weekend in March. And if someone had came over the next day and said, Ryan, would you like me to shoot you in the face? I would have gone, yeah, take me out. So you need to stop telling. Dumbick, it was in so much pain. So you need to stop telling you... But I cut around the green bits. I ate the good stuff.

It's a nah from me, Molly. I think it's okay. I think that if it makes you feel really special and it's something sweet that your parents do, I'm a normal. I will support that. Tapa, Anna Wolf, as a normal or nah. Yeah.

That was Anna Wolf. You're thinking of Anna Pirate. no that would be that's what you did no I went like a little the same thing twice that might be a lion

no because the pirate's like but like a little like wolfy animals like my little grow my little growl my brother drives with his headphones on no that's illegal I think he says he can listen to the music more intently

That's, no one is questioning that. No, I get it. I get it. Like, I get it. I understand, but you're still not the question. But like, when a bus is hurling towards you, tooting its horn. Or the Ambly ends is trying to get around you.

Yeah. You're just like, wow, this new remix of Olivia Dean Man I need is so good. Now, what's the red car theory? Is it just called the red car theory? I don't know. But it's, yeah, it's like confirmation bias is the. So Anna Wolf, grr, says,

since my brother's told me this I've been looking around in traffic and I'm seeing a lot of people wearing those big Bose headphones and always find it strange that you can't just listen see this is what gets strange this is where Anna Wolf gets weird herself she goes I find it strange you can't listen

through your cast because why the secrecy oh you can't hear of any man I don't know if it's a secrecy thing dog I wonder if it's that like people don't have car play or whatever I think that there's a difference as well between I think it's illegal regardless even if it's not illegal

it's fucking dangerous yeah which surely means the same thing I think that there's a difference between an iPod to an air pod to take a call if you don't have airplay or something and both fucking headphones

because you're like I just really want to feel the bass solo in the chain by Fleetwood Mac and we all do but you have to wait until you get home to do that. That's, Anna, you've lost me on that one. The secrecy. The secrecy.

It's like, how often do you hear? When I'm listening to audio erotica in my car. And I don't want people to know. No, I only listen through headphones in big Bose. Anytime you see someone in Bose headphones, they're probably listening to audio erotica. I would assume. So now this

I hope that one day someone asked me to narrate an audio like a sexy like audio book He assumed she was in the other bathroom Yet she was unclothed in the very same one he entered She had to fully undress Because she was really given it some energy and it was getting hot and overwhelmed.

In the second half of this podcast, you're going to understand what I was going through. And I can't say anymore. Next normal, no. Jeez, can't wait for that. Stick around. Well, this isn't probably going to, I don't know if this is the time

to tell this normal or now from Sam. No, I love it. Hit me, Sam. Because it's just like the best thing you've ever heard except for times when you've got a sore tummy. Oh, gotcha. But are we, and you listening, you watching, if you're driving, I was going to say, close your eyes and just imagine it.

If you're driving, hopefully without headphones, just imagine this. Just like put yourself in this position. Okay. Sam L-slinger. Slinger as L'L's baby. Is anyone else doing mouth mockers? Meth. Mouth mockers.

I thought well again definitely illegal mouth mockers what is what's a mouth mucker I put a square of delicious chocolate in my mouth and then take a sip of hot delicious coffee and boom a mouth mucker anyone else doing this is this normal asked Sam outslinger

I've never done that But you're a fan of a mocker Would you? I've recently come back into the mocker days Do you know what I don't mind So we just talked about the cheese time Now I'm talking about the naughty time And that's Easter

The best time of the year You know when you get those big hollow eggs I need to put coffee in them Yeah And use them as a little mug Well I wouldn't use it as a little mug Because they get melty Yeah I am

But if you like pop those in your coffee cup And then like brew the as espresso over the top and it like melts through it's very good that's very good let me take a moment yeah to clean my pants yeah and then coming up next we'll hear about something to do with tony and her pants yeah stick around i'm katie from dundalk ontario canada i'm potty from hawksbury upton i'm sarah from tunkerry new south wales and you're listening to tony and ryan A massive shout-out to a few of our Jamie and Tarpers. Julia Calabrese, sounds delicious.

Vince Pagan, thank you very much. Colleen McGilbray, Jill Armstrong, Catherine Fiddler, Emma J, Ilya Stitt, Lauren Jackie and Angela LaShook. Well, me too. And you're going to be LaShook when you hear what we're doing on Monday. Yes, you are going to be La Shook. I'm still fucking La Shook about it. We have never done this before.

It's exciting. It's really exciting. And it's also something I wish I could do. Like, I know that. Hang on. You know you can, right? Or do you mean like with another show? No, like.

Because you definitely can do it. Do you know what? I mean, though. No, because... Like, it's so exciting that I'm like, oh my God, like, how fun. You're going to be part of it. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think she gets it. I do, but it's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, I'm going to give a big clue right now. You're going to, and which is why I'm so shocked about Tony's thing, uh, you're going to be potentially doing something with Tony. And when Tony says, I wish I could do it. That's why I'm like, you will be there.

Yeah, but. Like, see it through new eyes. You get new glasses? I'm getting some shape testicles. Sorry, I'm fucking lushoek because yesterday you were very open and honest about something that you did in private. And then today you've walked in on me in the toilet and like there's a lot of things happening. I've got a bit of a sore tummy. but I want to know foreshadowing

how far have you gone to avoid a dirty shirt like how far have you really gone to avoid getting something dirty like you go like you're a fan of a dirty shirt not because you like it but you often drop things on yourself while you're making a fan of it but you're just showing your support an awful lot

having a dirty shirt So when Bridget makes a curry or even like a spaghetti. Yeah. She'll often be like, do you want to wear that shirt? Yeah. No, and it's actually great. And sometimes. Like go put one of your eating shirts on.

Like one of you are at home onlys because this could. Or like sometimes you go like something that's already dirty that already needs a wash. Yeah. Not something that you go, oh, that's probably got another wear in it. So I got home from the gym. Yeah. And I was like, oh. Congratulations.

No, we support that. That's amazing. Thank you. job thank you yeah and i was like oh i'll just get changed before dinner and bridge goes i wouldn't waste another shirt but exactly like you're gonna throw that in the wash real soon anyway and considering we're about to yeah i think it was like a mexican thing yeah so you go you know what i wouldn't yeah the admin of putting on something that you go oh and then i'll wear that to bed and then i'll wear that for 10 minutes why i get mexican all over it yeah and then you go well now

i can't wear that anyway yeah i get it so um because we've been working from my house um Um, there's been like, we've got heaps of gear set up. I think we put like a BTS photo in the Patreon at some point of all the cameras set up like in my living room. And because like each day, obviously we record a new episode, overnight, Charles is kind of like, let me clean things up. But it's still like mostly set up. Yep. So that like each day we don't have to like fucking haul everything in the house. Thank you for letting us use your house.

Oh, thank you for making it easy for me to work. Like, well, I've got a broken foot. Thank you for not charging us. Oh, you know what? That's okay. You're welcome. Just charge you in Bobby's instead. Can we get a discount from the office where renting?

Oh, because I'm not working from there. Yeah. Although I'm doing horrible things. You're doing some crazy stuff. But because we've been, it's just like work from home life. Like, you know when you're working from home and your kitchen table has got your separate monitor on it and whatever. But ours is like the couch here and then like to sit here and watch TV like all the cameras

are set up. And Torb's finished work really late And this was last night And he was like Oh, rather than like cooking something, whatever Do you want to just order something Or have something yummy?

Has anyone ever said no to that? No, because I'm not an idiot And he's like, do you want to order something numbies for dinner? And I was like, oh, yeah, that sounds really good actually And he's like, oh, do you want to order a kebab? And I was like Oh, let me check the time. I didn't realize you were working until 3 a.m.

And I've had 18 vodka cruises. Yeah. But he goes, do you want to order a kebab? Like, I feel like just like meaty and... Yeah. And, um... Obviously, it's like the messiest food. Yeah.

Like, it is just under... Like, it's saucy. All the shit fucking falls all out of it. And even if you manage to not drop anything, the sauce is like drip out of the bottom. You know how earlier we were talking about wearing headphones while driving? Yeah. I tried to eat a kebab while. while driving ones.

That is crazy. Yeah, it should be criminal because it was... And because you should be drunk. Yeah. So you should be driving. Anyway, yeah, yeah. That's why it's not made for driving because you shouldn't be in that position.

Not a recommender. Um, anyway, so I'm like, oh God, it's so messy. I'm like, safe space in this area of our office. I, since breaking my foot, I've put on quite a bit of weight. Not a lot of my clothes fit me right. now and so I'm kind of semi-limited in my wardrobe because I'm just like the only things that kind of like fit me and feel comfy like big t-shirts and I was like I just don't want to get anything dirty so torbs gets home I'm sitting here towards gets home and the food like comes

whatever and we're sitting here and we're watching TV and I'm like well I'm not gonna are you sure You're going to use... Well, I'm not... You're going to waste that one? You know, I don't have that many clothes that fit me right now. Welcome to the club's feet hard. Yeah, so, and, you know, this is fine. It's just a season of my life.

It's all good. But do I want to season myself? Not really. So I'm sitting here. I open the kebab and I'm like, okay, well, obviously not. Yeah. I probably need to lose a layer here. And so I'm sitting on the couch.

with just knickers on because I didn't want to get it on my t-shirt then I go well I can't get it on the only bra I have right now because only nickets eating like a sab like a saucy little piggy and I'm singing

and I got like fucking garlic sauce and chili sauce like fucking running on my body and I'm sitting here just like oinking in my pig style and I look over at doors and I go

Is he jerking it? I was like I'm a mess and he goes oh and he's like like mate in like a loving way and I go we could probably sell this and he goes let's hit record

we've got lights we've got cameras fucking hit the live stream doll Should we go live to Jamie and DARPAs in Pedro? I know that the cameras weren't turned on or plugged in or had an SD card. And Charles specifically puts the lens caps on before he leaves. I couldn't have done that without like turning the cameras around.

Yeah. No, no, no. He specifically checks everything. Oh, you've sat up. So you've gotten so excited about my kebabs and my kebab boobs. You kebabs. And yeah, so, but literally, Charles is always like, I've put the lens caps on. Everything's unplug, like, it's very thoughtful.

But I'm sitting here, carve it in sauce all over me, like a little kid that had just eaten solids for the first time. Like, you know, those videos of kids that are like, have creamed spinach or whatever, and they're just green. Okay, so I, you know, I told you last night, Bridget and I were just like looking at old photos of Mabel. Yeah. There's this photo of the first time she tried to.

to eat pumpkin soup. Oh, and she just looks like a little cheesel. Yeah, but she's so bad at eating the pumpkin soup. And what I'm picturing is you just looking like her. I reckon I probably did. Now, I just need to, like, let's not get political. Okay. But we've said some shit on this podcast and we need to be held accountable.

Yeah, sure. once a tarpa admitted yeah to when they purchase a McFlurry they buy two one for now and they put one in the freezer for another day

and you said where did you suggest that they lived that they lived at rock bottom because that sounds shit now it wasn't the judgment about two McFlurries

buy eight I don't give a fuck but eat them all on the same day because when they're in the freezer, they go like a gross texture. Now, I feel like you and Torbs just embraced the moment for what it was. And it actually makes sense what you've described. But was there a moment where you're like, maybe I shouldn't be accusing other people of being at Rock Bottom while I'm covered in kebab sauce sitting topless on the couch?

Like maybe it's not my job to point out to other people. How they should be living here. Who and who is not at Rock Bottom. Yeah. No, that's fair. In the moment, I wasn't thinking about anybody else. But I think that the highlight, obviously, of the whole thing was needing to when I finish the food, get my very beautiful handsome boyfriend to take my moon boot off so I could shower the sources off my body. Did he use a hose?

And then, no, I had to, like, hobble into the shower. I think he takes my moon boot up, just fucking rinse me up. And then put my moon boot back on so that I could go to the toilet because I'd just eat in a cabat. Hence the sore tummy today. Oh, it all makes sense. It all comes back around, isn't it? Yeah.

So when I saw you in the bathroom earlier, you were actually wearing more clothes then. As the kebab was coming out, you were when the kebab was going in. Yes. It's the circle of life. Yeah. It is the circle of life. As you kebabs on Bell Street, very good. Really?

Yep. I'll check them out, obviously. Maybe they should use this in their marketing. That's very funny. Yeah, you can eat this however you like. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

I've got to love to see it. I was a bit of a pallet cleanser. all of us. Taylor says, this is really beautiful actually, Taylor posts this on, sent this to me on Patreon. I've been a big fan

and Patreon member since December 2020 and listening, sorry, March 2020 and listening since December 2021. I'm an Aussie from Aubrey who has been traveling through Europe for the past six weeks.

Fuck yeah. Poplar Euro summer. Yep. 17 days on a Kentucky tour, but the rest has been solo. And during my travels, I've had Tony and Ryan keeping me company.

Oh yeah. Thanks for taking us with you. Yep. Even before leaving for Europe, I'd started on a re-listen from the very beginning of the pod and you've been keeping me company through 17-hour flights, multiple train travel days, exploring and solo meals at restaurants. You know, you just go, I'm sitting here alone, put my headphones on.

No, I'm driving. Yeah, cute. So far, Tony and Ryan has traveled to me, traveled with me to Amsterdam, Paris, Bojale Bojala Yeah, I don't know if I'm saying that right In France

Barcelona Nice in France Venice Florence Rome Athens Bologna Maranello Milan Monaco Leon and Paris

France Paris is on there twice And Montmorency Aubrey Aubrey I've made it back to the 9th of September 2024

So re-listen from the beginning and has gotten that far. Gee, she's done a great trip, though, hasn't she? Yeah, can confirm despite hours a day of Tony and Ryan, I'm still not sick of you. Love you guys. Thanks for keeping me company. I'm sick of us. Me too.

Has Mabel been born? Yeah, yeah. She's up to September 2024. Yeah. Because someone messaged the other day and we were just talking like about like in the future, like Ryan's trying to start a family and like Tony wants to buy a house. And she's like it's so crazy that like hearing you like little children talk about your futures. Yeah.

Yeah, isn't that so funny? Fuck, that's a good trip, though, isn't it? So I'm glad that you had such a great time. Taylor, I can confirm, is now home safely in Aubrey. Great. Made it back to the country. You love to see that. My love to see today is from Jenny O'Hara.

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. No, microwave, Jenny O'Hare. There's a bit of a follow-up from a previous story. I'm thrilled to share that I just went through airport security and where the agent looked at like I took my stuff out and placed it in the box and had it all and you know

like really made sure I packed it right and as I went through the scan and the lady went perfect I would come on the spot I felt like I got a gold star and it was the best day of my life

maybe they should put a gold star on your passport just show that you're trustworthy yeah i can trust this guy little star there so jenny o'hare impressive that's very good impressive i i didn't even know that they said that yeah because they're often not saying nice stuff no take your jacket out

what are you doing taking your jacket out put it back in do i'm going to take my belt off of course if you put that jacket in i will kill you take the jacket back out can you take your belt off take it off why are you taking your belt off Oh, you wouldn't put that belt back on, would you? Charles, what is the Tronaut Five tomorrow? VHS Part 2. Oh, if you saw the VHS dating, it's so much fun. And tomorrow, YouTube only, go and check out part two of VHS dates.

You will not believe. So we've had people saying like, the videos aren't real, they're AI. They're real. They're legit videos, like dating videos from back in the day. Yeah. They're amazing. You can't make that shit up. You actually could have to make that shit up.

Love you so much. Listen to that, watch that tomorrow, but we'll see you again on Monday. And make sure you dress. Big announcement. We'll be dressed up. We'll be dressed up. Tony would love to be involved. Love you, babe.

Bye. This episode is sponsored by the Hulu original series Murdoch, death in the family. The new series coming to Disney Plus dives into secrets. Deception. Murder and the Fall of a Powerful Dynasty. It's honestly amazing. I don't love this story, obviously, because it's horrible, but it's very good. But you love it.

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