Toni and Ryan - Wildest Ways To Say You Need To Poo

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Small Talk Toni - Ways to say doing a poo - Charles' approval - love ya!!!!!Where the HELL do our poos go?????? serious questionhttps://tarpsaidwhat.com/Tell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The top six alternative ways to say I'm doing a poo. If number two isn't a number two, I'm going to fucking throw up. Okay. That's really good. I'm Charlotte from West Virginia in the United States. Hi, I'm Haley from Ingersoll, Canada. Hi, I'm Jade from Iranian Australia. And I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Arthur, Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan. coming up, everyone's been asking for it. What are some other ways to say, I need to poo? Great. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone's talking about it.

But first, I need to congratulate Tony Lodge. I hate working. For multiple things. Yeah. First of all. That I'm very good looking. Three things. Yep.

That number two. That I got big juicy naturals. Four things. Yeah. Five. Oh. What did you do last night? I went to.

a new gym. Thank you. That sounds condescending, but it isn't, and I know that. One of your goals has been to get better at small talk.

Yes. So Tony was looking for a new gym. She calls them up and goes, yeah, heard you got a free class, like a bit of a trial,

might come down. Great. Tony goes, yeah, I spoke to him for 15 minutes. Okay. What the fuck

was the rest of that 14 minutes and 50 seconds included? I knew that this was going to fucking come around. Hey, you got a free trial. What time is it?

Six o'clock? Great. See you there. Looking forward to it. No. What happened for the next 14 and a half minutes? Nah, all right. Actually get, no.

Congratulations. Nah, okay. Because small talk. Small talk for me turns out big talk. Yeah. I love it. So I knew when I said this that you went, and I was like, fuck, this is going to come back around.

What a fucking nightmare. No, so I. A stranger. It is like a family run gym. Yep. If that kind of puts the. Like if you called a Jets fitness, the fucking receptionist is not going to talk to you. So look in the camera and apologize to the great team at Jets fitness.

But they're fucking not. You are calling them. You're going, how much is it? They go, you've got to come in time. All right. Here's a challenge. After the show today, we're going to call Jets Fitness and try and chat to them for 16. God, my God.

They could have talked to 50 people in that time. How many Stairmasters do you have down there? So I gave this guy a ring and just like left a message was like, I'm interested in the thing. And he called me back a few hours later. And he's the owner. And I was just like, oh, hey, I'm interested in coming down. Where would be a good place to start? I'm at full beginner.

And he goes, oh, mate, well, what are you into? And so that was a bit of combo. Crafting, Casey Nystad, Tricky and Kachar. I've just gotten YouTube premium. If you're interested in that, I can share it with the gym. Really into buying shit. Yeah, I love buying stuff. I'm into green at the moment.

Both of us are. Both of us are in green sweater. I recently went to an NRL game. Anyway, and then so I'm talking to this guy. He's like, what are you into? What are you shaking your head at? NFL. You literally went to it and you still don't know.

Yeah, I went to an NRL game. NFL game. NFL. NFL. NFR, no fucking idea. Anyway, and then so he's like, what are you into? And I was like, oh, I do like strength training at home. And I was like, but my cardio is not great.

Like I'm not super fit. And he's just like, no, mate, you're right. You should come on a fucking come to this class, come to this, whatever. And I was like, okay, cool. I'm also so interested in like a little bit of PT. He's like, oh, well, this trainer would be great. Whatever. And then he's like, where do you live, mate?

And I was like, oh, I live in reservoir. He's like, well, reservoir is pretty big, mate. We're about. Yeah, it's a biggest suburb in Melbourne. And I said that. And he went, it actually. is. And I said, yeah, dog, I know. And did you say I'm on the good side? And I said, yeah, I'm on the nice side. He goes, oh, are you by blah? And I went, yeah. And he went, oh, it's a good

pocket there, man. It is a good pocket. And I went, oh, yeah, it's really great. And he goes, he goes, oh, who do you live there with? I was like, oh, my husband and I. And he was like, oh, that's nice, man. Like, he was, he was just as interested. I just, it needs to be shared that he was just as interested in this chat as I was. I would love to hear some tape. because this is what I'm guessing. Cool, we'll see you at six and you went, I'm married.

No. I'm impressed of all. No, no. It's a good side. And does it also change it if I tell you that he was driving? He wasn't like at the reception desk at the thing. He's a great place for a chat. He's killing time.

He got a free podcast. Yeah. No ads. Well, the opposite. You're giving him money. Yeah. He made money.

Yeah. Did you learn anything from his small. that you can apply because it seems like he's a natural. He did. When he answered the phone, he goes, I was like, hello, Tony, he's speaking, which is how I always answer the phone. So that's normal for me. Well, not to you.

Yeah, I was like, I've never heard you answer the phone. If it's someone I don't know, I always go, hello, Tony, he goes, Tony, Brandon from the gym. And I thought, what a powerful way to fucking answer a phone call. That is powerful. Yeah. So imagine if I started going, if you go, hello. Ryan John speaking. I went, Ryan, Tony from work. That's good.

Charles, can you answer the phone and pretend you don't know who's calling? Bring, bring, bring. Hello, Charles speaking. Charles, Tony from work, mate. How are you? Yeah, going, going well. Who? Sorry. Is Tony from work? The office? Not the TV show like from literal work. Oh, you're the one that sits next to me. The boss with the boobs. Oh, hot slot. Oh, from my current workplace.

Sorry, I'm expecting a call. Yes, sorry, I've applied at Kinso. I'm going to apply it. No, the girl that works at Kinsoe is hiring a podcast producer. I'm trying to get an interview there. I'm actually trying to get the four-hour internship at her business. Yeah. So it's not about that.

I hope they can pay you as well as we do. And so anyway, I just think it needs to be said that he enjoyed it as much as I did. And then when you went to the gym last night. He was not there. He was like Fuck she's coming in on fucking Monday night All right I will make sure I am not there

He's just like the phone sales guy He's offshore But he just plays it cool I'm sitting a truck on the way To drop the stuff off at the gym Yeah Yeah he's living in Bali He's been fuck

But It's his He's never heard of reservoir It's his number Everywhere So I'm like You're the chatter You're the guy

You like a chat And you like jean people up Because he goes oh You're being interested this for a while and it's like no. Thanks for asking. Well, if we had like a mobile number that was like the business line, it would be your phone.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I would have a second phone. I would have a second phone for work. No, but you're the chatter. Yeah, but I get people jeed up. Yeah. But also, I reckon if I'd been like,

hey, when's the class? He would have just told me and that would have been fine. But I think we both got each other going. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Now, that's just got me thinking. That's a first time for everything. So I'm feeling defensive.

because you were nice to you want my phone call. I was congratulating you on your small talk game. No, and thank you. And I'm working hard. Like I'm doing the shit out there, do you know? I'm out on the streets, pounding the pavement. Well, speaking of which, you know how in some companies there's like people that do cold calling for sales and stuff? Oh, no.

Does that feel terrifying? No, because I fold like a wet paper bag. Like, if I called someone and I was like, hi, are you interested in our new load. fiber cereal and someone goes no I go okay yeah like I can't keep someone on the phone no but your job is not to sell to people that don't want it but I think it kind of is nah that the sooner you get off that call

the sooner you get to that one that's actually going to buy but if I go are you interested in this you go none I go oh don't you know how some people like oh sorry I thought maybe you wanted to be healthy yeah that's all good if you don't but that kind of but I could never do that I thought you were the type of person that wanted to save on their power bill so you know how You don't ask him to, you just go, what, do you think your power bill is too high or too low?

Yeah. And they go, open-ended questions. Well, they're just going to go, well, too high. And you go, oh, it's interesting. So you'd rather save money on your power bill. And you go, well, yeah. And you go, oh, well. Because I think I might have the thing for you.

Yeah. I, in earnest of the new Elizabeth Holmes documentary with Nathan Fielder, which Ryan and I are so fucking excited about. I, like, could just shit. I'm so fucking excited to watch it. I know that I've got to do some reps with Nathan Fielder. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because he's awkward as fuck. We need to get used to it.

So we, Tubs and I have been watching Nathan for you. One of the great, horrible, fantastic shows. Have you watched it? Oh, like, you can only do one at a time. Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got to go slow. You have to go slow. The best thing I've seen him do is the Best Buy thing. I don't think I've seen that yet.

So Best Buy had, it's an old one. where Best Buyer was like, if there's a competitor, like, we'll match their price. So he opens a store down the road and just puts low prices in and then takes his own catalogue up to them and said, well, can you match it? Yeah, they've got an iPod for $2. But he opened the store and registered a business just so he can match it. And they go, oh, well, we'll send someone down there because you have to, it has to be real to buy it.

And he goes, yeah, you can, but there's an alligator in the store. Amazing. So buy whatever you want, but you have to discuss it with alligator first. At your own risk. Yeah. Well, so much like that, the thing about Nathan Fielder in these situations is that he just doesn't back down. Yeah. Like, and he just holds steady.

And this is why I think the Elizabeth Holmes documentary is going to be so good because neither of them are going to back down. Yeah. Because they're both crazy in different ways. Yeah. It's an awful, fantastic combination. And so one of the ones we watched the other night was that he goes, oh, we're offering gas really, really cheap. after the rebate. And people come in, they go, oh, what's the rebate?

They go, oh, yeah, you've just got to put it in at the rebate box. And they go, can I just send it in? They go, he goes, no, you have to put it in. They go, oh, where's the box? And he goes, oh, so. Next to the alligator. He goes, oh, it's an hour and a half drive to the bottom of a mountain. That's a three-hour hike to the top of the mountain and you just got to put

in the thing. And like, ten people go with him. And they all hike to the top of this thing. He's like, cool, now you have to answer 30 riddles. But he just doesn't back down. If that were me, I'd go, you know, I'll just give you the money. And every time it cuts to a person, it says like, Elena, $11 rebate owed. Like, they've done all this stuff for like $10, $20.

That's insanity. But he just doesn't back down. And I'm like, fuck, I could not go toe to toe with you because I just fold. Danielle, can you come over here real quick? Actually, and will. Now, these are, they're both playing the role of just cool girl. who goes to work. Oh,

well, they're nailing it. And doesn't know yet about Tony and Ryan. And like, they work here. No, they're a fictional character. Oh,

okay. And you're going to call them one at a time. Yep. To sell them on this podcast. Okay. Danielle's phone is ringing. Bring, bring. Bring.

Bring. bring. Hello, Danielle. Tony from Tony Ryan. Hey, going. So who? Well,

my name's Tony and I make a podcast. And, um, it sounds, to me like maybe you haven't laughed yet today. Oh yeah, actually I haven't. Well, I've got a pretty good idea for you because we make a show and it's a safe space for people and we love it when people listen and have a bit of a laugh and I would love to

be your first laugh of the day. All right. Tell me a joke. Go on. I mean fair. I'm loving the angle though, Tone. Thank you. What did the farmer say?

Oh, you've laughed. You did it. No, no, what's your joke? What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? Where is it? Yeah. You love it.

And now that... Look, I mean, that's just one way that I can make you laugh. But if you hit play on the pod, I've actually just to your phone number, sent you a text with the link in it. So you can just click that and have a listen. You know, it's free and I hope that you love it. Thanks.

I hope that you never spend another day without laughter again. Thanks, Tony. Yeah, no worries. Love you. Great job. You sound like you haven't laughed yet. Today is that good? That's a great opening up.

Now, next is Legal Lil, and this is a note for Lil, like character notes. You are not interested. Okay. No, like, you can be convinced, but your current state is like you're not actually in the market for a new podcast. Yeah, okay. Bring, bring, bring, bring, bring, bring, bring, bring. Hello, Legal Lil speaking. Oh, illegal little. How are you going? Yeah, good, thanks. Um, look, I don't want to waste your time,

but I just, um, I'm doing a few phone calls today because we're making this new product and I just, I'd love to talk to you about it if you're interested. I'm actually not. I'm kind of busy right now. Oh, what do you do for work? Oh, I actually work on a podcast with my friend Charles. Oh, do you? Oh, that sounds awesome. What kind of podcast is it? Um, it's about tech. Oh, a tech podcast. Oh, mate, I bet you you could teach me a thing or two. I'm pretty useless, actually. Oh yeah okay well good luck with that Oh well I just She's wrapping you up

I know that you're busy at work and stuff But I'm just wondering if you'd be interested in In giving me some pointers Because I make a podcast And if you work on a podcast Maybe you can give me some tips Look I don't actually have time right now But if you call Charles

I reckon he might Oh I've actually spoken to Charles before And he was a really big fan of the pod So I think that you guys could probably chat about it together And like I said both of us, we're busy working women. And I know that we are underpaid. And so the thing is, is that I would love to give you an outlet and maybe you and I could catch up.

Look, yeah, if you... She's coming around. Are you asking to take her out on a date or to listen to a podcast? I'm on the phone. Send me through your info and I'll see if I have time to have a look. Oh, yeah. That's a brush off. I'd really, really love that because I'd love to offer you the first month in Patreon for free.

We don't do that. I can, no, we don't, but I just, I've got this. You're paying her now. I've got this slut on the line. Um, yeah, okay, send me the details. First year. Oh, actually, would you consider the first year? Look, we're actually a small business.

I can't do the first year. Um, because we, um, uh, fuck, I'm panicking. Who's working for doing? Um, we're going to get Brandon back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, look.

One out of two ain't bad. Like I said, like I said, I really don't want to take up too much of your time, but you sound like a really great person. and I think that you could get a lot from our business, but also I think you could offer us a lot. So I just really respect what you're doing. Thanks so much. It was nice to talk to you.

If you pay me more than Charles, I might consider moving. Okay, well, you're a woman. Yeah, whatever Charles gets, times it by 70%. No, no, what Charles pays me at the moment, if you pay me more. Oh. I can't afford to pay more than Charles pays you.

Wow. Okay. Anyway, have a nice day. Thank you. Have a great day. No, sorry, I thought we hung up. Someone was in charge. Some of us in charge of that call and it wasn't Tony.

And it wasn't Lily either. Oh, she was wrapping you up. No, I don't know about that. No, that's good work. Thank you. Good small talk. Thank you. Hi, I'm Haley from Ingersoll, Canada.

Hi. I'm Charlotte from West Virginia in the USA. Hi, I'm Jade from Morena, Australia. And you're listening to Tony Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers. One of them is Lil. Legal Hill, who I just offered a free month too, so everyone. We don't do that, by the way.

I'm panicking. I'm scrambling, like I'm going to go over here. A big shout out, though, to Katie Hickey. Thank you very much, Katie. Gillian Van Raine, McDartz, Slay. Caitlin Nichols, thank you very much, Caitlin. Jacob Reeves, Talia James, Clarissa Rogers, Mel, Mandy. Might be your mum.

And Aidan Hellcrow. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Absolutely love to see it. Is my mum in Patreon? No. She would not be able to figure that out, I don't think. Oh, no. She loves getting on the iPad and, you know.

She does? Does your mum do, like, the, like, photos like this? Like, the iPad flapping? Like, does she do that? Yeah. I think I once got sent a photo of Mabel and the side was blurry and I was like, it's the flap from the iPad cover. Yeah.

But you know what? Get it. Slay. Yeah. Now, one of the biggest issues in life, besides being able to sell a podcast on a cold call is how do I say I'm off to do a poo without saying that. Yeah.

That's what everyone's talking about. Yeah. Do you, what do you, what would you say? Well, if I was at work, I would normally say to you guys, oh my God, I think I've got diarrhea. Like I just kind of say it. Yeah, you do actually. Yeah.

So I don't know that I'm really the focus group for this. Yep. And if I was at home, I would probably be like, oh my God, I need to poo. And I would run because I've left it too long. Why, if you left it too long? You're just too comfortable. Or sometimes it just like, I'm like, oh, that's happening. And Torbs will go, she's got to do a shit.

She's got to do a shit. She's got to do a shit. How does it feel living in a perpetual musical? I love it. I really love it. It sounds like a good time. I mean, you would not like it, but it is very fun. Well, I don't like musicals, but I do like stupid songs.

That is true. What would you say? Oh, well, at work, you would go, I'm just going downstairs. To my office downstairs. Yeah. What do you say at home? The other day, Mabel, I said, oh, dad just needs to go to the bathroom. She goes, I'll show you where it is.

That's cute. And then mum goes, if anyone knows who it is, where it is, your dad already knows. That's the things are good at home, okay? Oh, we're just like, I'm the last guy that need, like, I've spent a lot of time there. But it's just so funny. Like, Mabel's like, oh, I'll show you where it is because, you. You've lived there longer than her. Yeah, I've lived here before you were born.

Like, you've got no idea what I've said. Anonymous, this is Anonymous Tapa. Yep. Said, I dated a guy named Tim who was a real piece of shit. Broke up with him, met another guy. And after hearing about Tim, the new guy said, I'm off to the bathroom to drop off Tim. That's very funny.

I like that. 15 years, one wedding and two years later. Anytime anyone in the family needs to poo, we still say, gonna drop Tim off. That is amazing. I'm off to drop for Tim. Almost felt sorry for Tim, but then I remembered that that piece of shit was in fact a real piece of shit.

That is great. I love that's brought the whole family together. It really has. That's amazing. Yeah. And then the kids probably don't even know why they say it. One day they'll ask. They'll be like, and she'll go, oh, fuck, 20 years ago, I dated some guy.

Before mom met dad, she was like getting railed by this fucking asshole name Tim. Yeah. I like that dropping off some Tim But I've got a board Nope That's a horse photo Here is the top six alternative ways To say I'm doing a poo

And you know what we have the hard-hitting topics I wish what I knew we were talking about this When I was doing the cold calls earlier That might have gotten legal little across the line How do you say and Lil goes I don't know and you go well tune in today I go well actually I've got six to offer you if you're interested Number six.

If number two isn't a number two, I'm going to fucking throw up. Okay. That's really good. Oh, so we do comedy here. So that's just for next time. High five. Did you just high five yourself? That is the saddest, most embarrassing thing I've seen all day.

And I work with you. Fuck off. All right. Number six of alternative ways to say do a poo. Got a brown barking dog at the back door. Sorry, I haven't actually read these this morning. Got a brown bark and dog at the back door. Do you want to say him in real life?

Oh, can you just give me a second? I got a brown barking dog at the back door. I... That's pretty upsetting, yeah. That is, yeah. Also, I made Danielle make this sign, and I had to apologize profusely. She's made worse.

Oh, this one's good, though. Number five. Number five, just off to visit the Sydney Plopra House. Oh. Oh, that's going to be terrible for tourism. Tourism. Remember that time when we almost got kicked out of the Sydney Opera House? I do.

And you, small talk to the hell out of that security guard. I fucking did. Yeah. Number four, alternative ways to say a poop. Oh, I'm just off to paint the porcelain. I don't like that. that one because if you paint it, unpaint it, you know what I'm saying?

So true. Like fucking hell. Oh, I don't like paint the poor. I'd say that so far my favorite one is the brown dog barking at the back door. I think that's why funny. Number three, oh, don't mind me. I'm just off to do some 3D printing. Charles, was that your one?

No. Tech-based one. These are all been submitted by tarpers in the, Tony and Ryan Facebook group, by the way. Off to do some 3D printing is fucking heinous. Out of the anus. Well, one that didn't make the top six, if you don't like that. I've got a disgruntled passenger waiting in the departure lounge.

Oh. Do you know what one as well, like when you hear people say, oh, just got to drop the kids off at the pool? Oh, sorry, it's coming. Hang on. Oh, I left that one out. Yeah. But that was a very popular one.

That's like an old school one. Yeah. Oh, number two. I'll do some 3D printing is fucking crazy. I love that you have to read them before. Did you not do your prep? No,

I sent them through last night and I was like, oh, when one's fun, I picked, because again, I had so many to choose from. Yeah, yep. I was like,

what did we go with? Oh, that was a good one. That's a good one. This was actually on the poster in the group and I just love it. It's, uh,

off to separate the art from the artist, which is honestly one of the great sayings. It's one of the great sayings. Who's coming up with this shit? Literally. Yeah. And number one, what do we go for? Oh, no. The number one alternative way to say I'm off to do a poo

is I'm sending a sausage to the seaside. You shitting in the ocean, aqua pos? No, that's where they all end up. What? Your poos don't go in the ocean. Where do they go? Do they go? Poos go.

They do not go to the ocean. Do they actually? So there's just turn. floating in the Atlantic. Yeah. I think they go to the plan and kind of get mushed around and, you know, they probably little like for breeze or something and then out the pipe. To the ocean?

Yeah, long pipe. Is, are you serious? Can we have that verified place? Yeah. Like when I Google it said, when you flush the toilet, your poop travels through the underground pipes into a local Melbourne water network and arrives at the water, waste water treatment plant. All pipes lead to the ocean.

I learned that from finding me, my own. You type in Charles Rihanna swimming poop because I believe she went to a festival. You know, they're partying, whatever. And it's like to end. They're like, fuck, let's go swimming. Yeah. And it was the beach where the poos go. And no one told her.

And then she was just like swimming in poos. Did I just make that up? Did I just make that up? Put that on the screen. I can't find it. Maybe it's too specific. That's too specific. Is that dream chat maybe by accident?

you didn't even realize. Type in Rihanna swimming. There's a whole Pinterest of her swimming. Yeah. Let's check that out. Yeah, well, save that, bookmarked that. Pinna. Here's a photo of Rihanna swimming with sharks.

Oh, slow. There it is. Look at the first video. Rihanna swimming in sewer thinking it's a beach in Brazil. Oh. I mean, if anybody's going to swim in a sewer, she makes it look great. Have you seen anyone swimming in a sewer look hotter? No, that's, yeah.

That's amazing. She would have boiled that shit. She's so hot. Well, and she was sending a sausage to the seaside. So what I want to know is out of these top six, which are you going to employ in your life? Separate the art from the artist. Yeah, you like that. And would you go, and maybe this is too on the nose, but would you go separating the fart from the farthest?

Because, no. Is that all right? That is fantastic. I like that. Separating the fart from the fartest. That's really good. Yeah. Don't hate the farts.

Just a fartist. Yeah. Got a brown dog barking at the back door, though. Should get some... Oh, Tim's knocking at me back door. I like that. Yeah. Like Tim, the asshole boyfriend.

Yeah. Yeah. Can you do you love to see it? I think I regret a lot of this. I actually, I have a pretty good one. I hope so. And it's from Sunny Ray and Charles, I didn't give you the information before now, but thank you. Is that a real name?

What a beautiful name. Isn't it so stunning? Little Ray of Sunshine. So, Sunny Ray, you're going to like Ravenmore. I have a new challenge. for rich baby Charles to prove just how smart he is. I just listened to the episode where you and Charles made the catch-up button. So,

we talked the other day about how now if you go to tap says what.com. Links in the bio. That you can do a calculator catch-up. And if you say, I'm at this point and I want to listen on two-time speed, how long will it take me to catch up? What date could I catch up by? How much do I have to listen to? She says, can you create a way to search the names that have scrolled

across the bottom of the podcast and tell me when it is. Because... It's a great question. I would love to see... So if you're watching on YouTube or you've watched the videos before, across the bottom, there's a little ticker that has all of the tiers of Patreon and all the names are there. But if maybe you don't watch all the time or you've missed your name going past, because you

can't really watch it the whole time, but it's kind of moving around. But you want to find out where your name is. Fuck, that's brutal. We have built that. Fuck off. So you can search your name for the name scroll. Not only can you search for the name scroll. You can search where your approval was and it will take you to there.

And we can find your champion tarpa shout out. It will show you what video it's on and it will give you the time code. And then it will play your bit. It's about 10 seconds behind, but here we are. So there's Sunny Ray popping up there. We've just searched for Sunny. and just like the last idea where Till was credited at the bottom, Sunny is credited at the bottom of this one.

Oh, as well, idea by Sunny. It's great idea. Great idea. Amazing execution, Charles. And I think it is just important to like shout out the other person that was involved in that. And that is the fact that the reason that the Champion Tapa shoutouts are available to search is that I have kept such good notes from 2021 since then

that we are able to search them. Isn't that amazing? Anyone who's ever judged a fucking loser take it back. Because now these things are possible. So Charles obviously, he's looked at himself for Champion Tarp of Shoutouts. He really got his money worth. Oh, Charles was mentioned during the episode

called 55 gallons of lube. You're welcome. Charles, which one did you approve? Don't mention the Towers. Should we play Charles's approval? Yes. You were in a fucking NRL bunker. So Charles's was not on a video episode.

It was back in the day. Shame. Sorry, was that at four minutes because you've already listened to yours recently? Oh, you fucking loser. I have you made sure it was working. Take back what we said about losers. Oh, it's ringing. Hello.

How are Charles speaking? Charles, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I know him. Good, what about yourself? Are you at work at the moment? It sounds like you're whispering. Yes.

Oh, my God. What are you? What do you do for work? Is your job approving this podcast? It sure is. Yeah. And the NRL bunker, but it's fine. Oh, my.

So hang on, are you telling me that if there's like a referee decision that has to go upstairs to check the video replay, you're the guy that has to do the video replay? I sure am. Well, I hope he's. You're puffed out, Charles. I was like running away. Okay, well, do you want to approve this? Can you just breathe a bit louder into the phone thing?

You know what's interesting. When he worked for the NRL, he was doing stuff for us. And now he works for us. He's doing stuff for Kinsau. Yeah. And hiring Lily on the side. Yeah. Always two steps ahead.

But I love to see that Sunny car, that idea. Great job, Sunny, Ray. I love to see that Charles could figure that out. And it means that if you've ever wondered where your name scrolled across, where your shout out was, if it's happened yet, I just think that's awesome. So you can actually find it. And you can show your friends and family and stuff, which is fucking cool. That is fucking cool.

So thanks for the idea, Sunny. I love to say it. And thanks, Sunny, for being the ray of sunshine in my day. Yeah, thank you. Today's got summer energy, don't you think? It does. Yeah, it does. My love to see this is from Lauren Miller.

Oh, Lauren Miller. A year ago, I quit my job to open. Now, we're going to have to... Sick. Oh. Like, Tony, like, it's a bit of geography chat here. Should I get my globe? Can we get the globe, please?

Can someone send in the globe? Oh, Tommy's getting the globe. We all work as a team. Yeah. Thank you Tommy. Sorry that you didn't receive a phone call from Tony selling you, the Tony and Ryan podcast. I don't need to buy if he's already selling, you know.

All right, I've got the globe here. Maybe the globe should be in the set for reasons such as this. That's a great idea. If I spin it, where do you reckon it'll land? Will you point somewhere? Where are you pointing? Oh, are you guessing? No, because I can see the other side.

Yeah, but guess. What's the opposite of Fiji? Well, you're telling me that you, it's too easy. Is it London or Iceland or Ireland? No, that's up here. Here is Senegal. So true. Yeah, I have Senegal naked.

I have. It's awesome. Lauren Miller. A year ago, I... I hardly know I point on the map where Lauren first got fingered in Antarctica

I'm fingering the bottom of the globe okay put it in my Antarctica you like that yeah I did like that I'm showing me South Pole South mouth huh

South mouth a year ago I quit my job Slite oh fuck sorry a year ago I quit my job to open Scotland's first Korean skin care store. Scotland.

In up here. Yep. Got it. And she's opened Scotland's first Korean skin care store. And Korea is over here. Yep. Yep. How far away do you think they are?

That's far. I can't even look at this. Look. Yeah, but that's because you've... Only just. That's a big flight. That's a big fucking dog, mate. It's not a dog.

It's an eagle. No, no I don't. I'm gonna show you that video after this. That's a big fucking dog, Matt. Are you fucking serious? Charles, can you find that video, please? It's not a dog, it's an eagle. Oh, sorry.

Is it an ad for the West Coast Eagles? No, it is so funny. Charles, have you got it? Sorry, Lauren Miller. That's a fucking big dog, mate. It's eagle. It's an eagle. That's a fucking big dog, mate. No, it's an eagle.

Charles, are you logged into my personal Facebook. Charles, oh my God, go back and share it to his timeline. What is that? I love eating. Okay, Lauren Miller. A year ago, I quit my job to open Scotland's first Korean skin care store. A lot of it are people expected it to fail because it's a bit of a random mixture. Yeah, sure.

But here I am, a year after launch, living my dream with a very successful business. Fuck yeah You love to see it Start the fucking blog Says Lauren Miller That is I would love to go Oh

Scotland's first Koreans That is so And is that Lauren Miller I assume so I'm Lauren Miller And I know whenever I'm at 79 Oh my God it says Hey I'm Lauren

Yeah I reckon that's her Thanks Tony How'd you guess Whenever I'm at 79 West Region Street Glasgow I know I'm in for a good time I say, can I get a wee facial? That's what I say.

A wee facial? Yeah, you can. A little facial. You're going to piss on my face? You're going to piss on my face? Yeah, so in Australia we call that a golden shower. You call it a golden gay time. And what a time and it's been.

Sorry in advance for everything that's happened in the last 15 minutes. I apologize for absolutely nothing. But what I also don't apologize for is check out Ryan's hat. Let us know if you like it. It is one of the merch items that's going to be available. the live shows. Beep-a-b-b-b-b-b-b-b. I've got an idea.

Let us not if you like it. Should we set something up? Sure. Where, because I'm talking to my tech pros here. Yeah, yeah. Where tarpers can, like, fill out the online form and say, like, I always talk to my friend about the pod.

They don't listen. Here's their number. Can you call them? I like this. That is horrifying. So it's like, hey, Tony, you know how you? your husband Torbs loves that podcast. Well, that's us and we'd love to have you have you in.

Come on over, have a listen. Yeah, I love it. Yep. And we'll just set aside half an hour to make some calls one day. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And we can... Feel in the form.

It's on our website. Is it, Charles? It sure is. It is. How hard to be. It's like, we've got this magic thing at work. They're magic microphones. You just say stuff into them and it appears.

By the time the episode appears, so does it. And Charles's like ripping his air out. That's a fucking big dog, man It's not a dog, it's an eagle Oh And by the time this episode goes to air I'll have a penis that's grown to average size Oh, Charles

Good luck with that one You're gonna give him a Stiffy Stiffy Are you in grade four? I'm so sorry for saying that When you get to high school You're too old to say the word stiffy I think Stiffy's coming back around

What would you say? Penus. No, but it's not the same thing. Do you know what a stiffy's made of? Do you know what the main ingredient of a stiffy is? Ingredient. Pop it in the thermomix. Don't put it in the thermo mix.

No. Well, unless you put the butterfly whisk in. Did you know you can use it just to like, like if you're having a cup of tea, just use that to boil the water. We don't even need kettles anymore. Yeah, throw them out. Yeah.

Throw your kettles out. Bench spaces back, baby. Yeah. Well, not when you first get the thermos, but then when you sell everything else, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, love you. Bye!

You're not saying bye? What would you call it? Um, well, do you remember when I said he's got a stalk on? Yeah. And you like that? I've got a fatter cat couldn't scratch. Yes. But like, would you say boner?

No, that also feels strange. Because that feels like what you say. When are we saying this? Like, when's that coming up? Ha! All right, see you later. That's a fucking big dog, mate. Bye, love you.

It's an eagle. It is a big dog. It's a brown barking dog at the back door. You got a poo in your cock? Well, we'll after tonight. Why are we having sex the other way? Love you, bye. Don't know if that's still in.

The other way. What in your vagina? Yeah, well, normally we've... Yeah. Bye.