Toni and Ryan - Would You Hook Up With A Customer?

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Customer flirting - Ryan's dogs - Shitting yourself - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I was in Paris, I met a man named Bueno who owned a crapery that I went to a few times. Zittalore. And then Bueno says, would you like to go on a ride of my motorbike and I'll show you around town the real after dark Paris? It's getting harder and harder to believe. Oh, it happened. Holy shit. I am so moist. Hi, I'm Emily from Prior Lake, Minnesota and the United States. I'm Alttaosk from Habnafirder Iceland I'm Jeremy from Attleboro, Massachusetts

And I approve this podcast Can you just go fuck yourself, Charles? Are you fucking kidding me? Did you just say it sucks to suck? Welcome to the podcast. That is absolutely bizarre to me. I'm going to hurt that and I wish I'd thought of it. I don't like that you said it to me,

but I like that you said it. It sucks to suck. And tell you what else? It rules to rule. Do you know what? Amazing. Making me jizz makes me jeers. No.

Mine didn't work. You don't think it sucks when I... I don't know. I reckon we just push on. I reckon if I was... I'll push you on. How are you feeling today? I've been bribed with the thought of lunch after this.

So. I tell you who it's a bad day to be. A menu log delivery driver on a bike because. Because of the wind and the rain. Oh, and the size of our order. Yeah. I'm going to eat 12 barges. Parjys.

Oh, we are going to get Indian. Like onion bar. Well, you said Indian before. I did say. I'm getting primed for that internally. I didn't... A butter chicken. A coconut rice.

12 barges. Yeah. Oh, a cheesy garlic noun. Oh, the white person's special, I think they call that. They got on yet. Mild? Yeah. They go, yeah, don't worry.

We won't put any fucking spice in it. Yeah. When I threw Indian out there, I didn't realize that you were going to... Because it was just such a good friend. I didn't realize you was going to take that on. I just yes and did you. Thank you. Do you know what I was thinking in my head before you said Indian?

I don't think you like this because you don't really like it when it's cold. Sush. I knew that that was going to be your response. It's not the day. That's why I didn't throw it out there. But that is in my mind. I was like a sush wouldn't fucking go Australia today. If the sushi place does like a hot gyoza, I might be back in.

Or like a dombrey, like a rice bowl with like the chicken cats on the top. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or a katsu curry. like Japanese curry. Yeah. There's a place at Northland that does those. They're pretty legit.

Oh, really? Yeah. I had it one day at like 4 o'clock and then went home for dinner and it was an awful day. And Bridge goes, have you eaten? You go, no. She just had dinner?

I'm like, no, but I had a very late lunch about 12 minutes ago. And it doesn't include the zinger I had in the car as well. Well, the distance between the place, yeah. Don't get malnourished on the drive home, you know? He's wasting away. Can I get a shicking curry bowl? And, yeah, I'll get a couple for the road as well.

If you don't might, yeah. Singer for the road, thanks, champion. Because at the KFC, they do both. Well, also the place at Northland is about 13 metres from a KFC. Is it? There's one there. I've actually never been to the food court at Northland except for. Oh, because you come in the other entrance.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. The food court is my entrance. Oh, no, I don't park there. Yeah. But I have been to the other side where the sushi train is and the boost juice. I know that the food court's just there,

but I've actually never been in there. Yeah, you haven't lived, bro. You've got a real North Sider until you've rolled about half the places in that food court. Rolled? One of them being rolled. Yeah.

Let's talk customer hookups. Maybe you work at Rold. Maybe you work in Cave C and you gave Ryan his drive home Kizinger yesterday. The Korma. And then you sucked him off. The Korma Curry guy could get it. My name is Mary.

and I have a garlic bread daddy. What? Every Friday night, this hot guy gives me extra garlic bread at the pizza place. Oh, can we just also say that? Having, like, Friday night pizza night is so wholesome. Beautiful, is it?

Every Friday, we do that. As a kids, like, it was like, Tuesday night was pie night. Great. And my mum would put a fucking pie on the microwave. Like, it was just like, but we thought it was awesome. Friday night, fish and chips at the Parsons.

At the Parsons. Great night. And everyone's. invited everyone's invited yeah uh no one else in this store got this oh so it wasn't like they'd made too much or no well i think so they were a bit like a bit flirty he'd be chatting uh two months on every single time or he goes oh he says he's got a spare one but it's every friday night for two months he has a smirk that could melt monterella Mozrella

Please don't yell at me I don't know if he's flirting or fattening me up But either way I think I found myself my garlic bread daddy That is such high flirtation rate A fucking free garlic bread Like that's not just a free thing That's a free Just piece of gold

Because what's a fucking extra garlic bread worth It's not the money It's the joy it brings true because you don't get you get one garlic bread and you don't just get a second garlic bread it exponentially increases the joy the more garlic bread you eat the better the experience is on a sliding scale speaking of philosopher tony lodge yeah i am the doctor is in i'm really sorry for this being really graphic but it's actually okay hot remember the other week that video like popped off and it was you saying like you got to trust the first wipe yes because you don't know

you don't need any wipes and it takes you two wipes to not would have only taken you one yep but it takes seven to one to know that it will take seven yeah yes yeah and then you said sometimes in life you just got to trust the first wipe marry the guy from the pizza place I had he's the first white a satisfying firm clean poop what straight through really yeah that's huge for you normally you're shitting through the

iron needle I said I wouldn't make it graphic I don't speak on behalf of the lady the lady speaks for herself one wipe ghost wipe might as well not even bothered ghost wipe yeah that's good

but then I was like it can't be it's if it seems too good to be true it usually is so I went again clean as a whistle and then I went oh I should have trusted the first wipe I've gone against Tony Lodge yeah and it never works in your favour and you can go against Tony Lodge or you can come against Tony Lodge and that's what I've always said Tapa Laura Kelly hi Laura I worked at a road house and this hot guy would come in and give me a flirty smile So I'd give him like a free coffee or an extra slice of pizza

And this went on for a few weeks And then someone that I worked with knew someone that he worked with And I kind of went through the mutual friends And found him on Facebook Oh iconic, yep So I sent him a message What?

We've been married eight years What was the message? We've had two children And he still comes into the road house that is so beautiful what a meat cute what a cute meat yeah what you said yeah yeah yeah i just heard meat and i was thinking of like the pepperoni on the pizza oh yum oh should we get pizza oh indian on pizza i have actually at like a you know when you do like a food market like how they do like the, um, the, what's it called in Melbourne, that thing and it's like the- Oh, Barbara Streisand

beaches. Shut up. A flea market. A food truck festival. Yeah, but there's, what's the one in- A pop-up. Yeah, the one in Melbourne has a like pun name. Oh, no one's Googling. Anyway, um, Melbourne Street eats.

It is that, but it's got a good name. anyway and I have had a butter chicken pizza before and that fucked speaking of I wouldn't be surprised if Domino's had one I know it'd be very different

to the one you had but it just wouldn't shock me you know how the other day we were talking about Dominoes and Guzmani and the red blood the blood clot the collaboration

so I think that's what I just had midsense and scared Red Cross Oh yeah I went down to the blood clot After that episode someone from higher up

in Domino's added me on LinkedIn. Did you message them about the idea? No. I just went, oh, that would be handy. It should message him and then didn't watch this space. Yeah. We could be eating dominoes and a floating Dalesford.

Oh. Tell me a better day. Actually, though. Actually, though. Why don't we do exactly that? Yeah. Floating with a pepperoni. Pepitoni and Ryan. That's what our pizza's called.

That's very funny. That's amazing. Pepper Tony. A peppatoni. Tapa Shan. Hey, Shan. Or should I say? Lizzie McGuire

Hillary Duff When I was in Paris I met a man named Bueno Who owned a creepery That I went to a few times What's that? Oh, crepes Yeah

Got you Like it's just the house of crepes It's a crepeery It's France, it's beautiful Have you ever had a savoury crepe Like it's got like hollandaes and mushrooms And cheese and ham and shit in it? No, but I should

Fuck, that's mean, yeah we just clicked every time I went into the store and me and Bueno were like flirty and chatty and like you'd bring me some little things and then it was sort of late and I was having like a dessert crapery if you will and he's and Bueno says would you like to go on a ride of my motorbike

and I'll show you around town the real after dark Paris I'll show you a few local hotspots. A few drinks, few little cool places. Okay, not only is it giving Lizzie McGuire, it is also giving some ride dirt pretty. Fuck that show. No, that show is awesome. Abueno whined me, he dined me, and he...

Aitma gined me. Romanced me all night. We went to a secret gallery where artists some musicians would drink and hang out at night. What? That's so cool. I once mentioned during the evening that I played guitar, so he found his friend that had a guitar and asked me to play for him above a gallery. As I did, one of his artist friends who was a painter painted a beautiful picture of us.

Charles? It's getting harder and harder to believe. Oh, it happened. Holy shit, my fucking ass. It's Harper Shan, and that is Bueno. And the artists paint that picture why they sat there and drank in this Parisian thing late at night. Now... I am so moist.

So Bueno says to Shan, would you like me to, you know, take you on a motorbike home? And she goes, this sounds like I'm about to get murdered, but yes. It was... Our secret moments. It's shade for you. Shan says it was a 10 out of 10 boning. Oh, they fucked. Yep.

It was an 11 out of 10 romantic evening and I would 100% risk being murdered again. The perfect evening as a customer with the head crapery. And is this like a one time, like they did it. It happened. It was amazing. Yeah, she's not from. Yeah, she was just like. And she's come home or whatever.

What an amazing holiday fling. What an amazing souvenir to have. That is unreal. Question. Yeah. Question. Let's say there's this beautiful piece of artwork in your house and it's Torbs playing the guitar. Yeah, with some other girl.

This hot as fucked shit. Approved. Yeah, because you're like, am I a bit jealous, sure, but like. Great story. Yeah. And also he knows how to make crapes. Because I am imagining say someone brings home that painting and every day I have to walk past Bueno. And get reminded that Bridget fucked.

Crap guy. Yeah. Yeah. Get out of you, big creep. Finally. Isn't that hot? That's a really hot story. And it also does not sound real, but now that we've, like, if you hadn't

have shown me the photo, I'd be like, well, that, that didn't happen. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. So we'll put that in the Facebook group. Please. Enjoy. Finally, Sarah Hewens.

Hi, Sarah Hewens. I worked across the road from a Gloria jeans. So there's stories from 1800s. And had a flirty thing going with one of the baristas. The other day, Charles and Lily went to get a coffee and they were standing there and there was like a girl trying to flirt with that barista and he couldn't hear her.

And she kept going like, so are you working this weekend? And he's like, what was it? When was this? It was in Brunswick. I don't know if you heard them tell his story. But this and this girl's like, Are you working this weekend?

And he's like, huh? And he's like doing the thing. And the, doing the beans. How are you guys still alive? Because I would have crawled into a hole and die. And they were standing, like, waiting for their coffee. And the, oh, my God. The flurter was standing on one side.

Then there's Lil and Charles. And then there's the flirtee, the barista. And he couldn't really hear her. And she kept saying the same stuff. so she's like oh it's pretty cold today and he goes hey and she goes pretty cold today and he goes he turns around and she goes oh sorry what and she goes pretty cold today he goes oh yeah raining outside like he's so yeah like he's so busy and she's just like not take like she's just giving it all she's got then and that she was

trying to be like real sweet and flirty and like the guys like we had to leave he turned turns around, looks at Lily thinking it was her and goes, so true, babe. Should we go out tonight? Yeah, yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, but I think that was a different ending, hopefully, than our tarpa had. Spoiler alert, it is. Oh. So, you know how you get those card where it's like every 10th coffee is free?

Yeah. Well, Sarah said since she started floating with the barista, it would magically be free every two coffees instead of every, like here's a card, bang. Oh. And I started thinking, says Sarah, does it get any better than this? It doesn't. I've got someone on the inside at Gloria James. I'm getting every couple of coffees I'm not paying for. Like, how good.

Then we started fucking. And suddenly, every coffee was free. You'd hope so. So is she dropping him off at work after? Like, they're fucking. And then he's like, well, I've got to open tomorrow. So can you drop me off? I'll give you a free coffee.

Yeah. It's 5 a.m. She's got to drop him off at work. I'll give you a very vanilla latte. She goes, don't worry about it. Hi, I'm Emily from Prairie Lake, Minnesota. I'm Altosk from Habnaferred, Iceland. I'm Jeremy from Etelboro, Massachusetts, USA.

You're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion Tarpers on this beautiful hump day. Beautiful. Kaylee Jane, good on you, Kaylee. Sam and Ange Jones. Kirstie. Was that a two-person patron? It is, yeah, we'll allow it.

Who's going to get the calendar? Oh, that rip it in half. Six months each. Kirsty, Christy, Kristen, whatever. Jessica Tilly, love you, Jess. Gillian Stevenson, Natalie, Angela Cox. I bet you are. Macy Gleason, Ellie Bum.

Love you, Ellie Bum. Marie-Louise Sandra Jorgensen Is she related to Smalley Bum? Maybe and Kaylee Parsons Dave Parsons' sister

daughter wife maybe all three maybe all of them thank you so much for joining us on Patreon if you're listening on Spotify

Apple if you hit the follow button it helps us immensely so thank you for that and if you're watching on Spotify most people subscribe but not everyone

so if you would like to subscribe that also helps us a lot and I appreciate it Ryan you're saying immensely is like come out of nowhere. Did you just read that somewhere? I've never heard you say immensely before. Was that in a book or something?

You're right. Any time it's got more than five letters, you go, well, something's happened. Well, just when it's a surprise one, because you normally stay on a word for a bit. Yeah, I got seven years out of harrowing before people called me out on it. I think I'm, was it, was it word I said again?

Exactly. When I was it, though? Immensely. I'll get another one away. Okay. What does that mean? When you said, when I said, get one away before you said, don't that sounds like sex

well I said when I the context was if I go into that room and get one away that's what that I said if you got a couple of REMs away which now is just terrible if I go into the spare room and get a couple of REMs away stop touching me with your weird bare feet

what's immensely mean do you know that you are there's a lot of chat on YouTube and Facebook of about your bare feet and that you keep doing this thing you did it just before where you put your foot on your knee and you play with your fair feet. I'm really sorry about it. And people are really upset by it. Yeah. And you know what?

That is fair. That is fucked. And one of the, I've a bit, we got a lot of messages at one time because you happened to be doing that at the same time you were talking about my messy house. Oh. Oh. And people were like, fucking people in glass houses. Shouldn't be throwing them stones, dogs. Throwing them dogs around. You know, and you know what? Fair. I'm not going to... And we've moved past it. Yeah.

I'm immensely embarrassed by my actions. It's not really right, but we get it. What does immensely mean? Immensely means like, yeah, incredibly like... I'm incredibly embarrassed by my actions. I'm immensely embarrassed by my actions. Yeah, but it's just not really the right context to using that sentence. I have endured immense embarrassment.

That would probably be work. When I called Tony out for having a messy house, while touching my dirty feet that was an immense contradiction that probably does work yeah I reckon nice

now I want to talk about shit in ourselves great let's fucking change here a topic in which I have immense knowledge well you after you ghost white maybe you don't know anymore we got this huh

hmm do you say hardened up I've hardened up yeah what about you you're a tough guy Penis. When you're around. That's really nice.

I feel like maybe, yep. I've lost my wood tap. Yeah, we've been playing with them in the office as fidget toys. I've got them. Charles took them away from us. I got this message from Trevor in our Patreon.

And I read it and I thought, absolutely not. You know who's going to back me up on this? My best friend, Ryan. fuck Trevor Trevor has said Real chat Serious question

So we're taking this seriously Locked in My friend abides by a rule You can shit yourself Once a year Without ridicule But if you shit yourself

More than once It's open slather Don't say slather Or open really For jokes Yeah, is that on average or just like a straight calendar year? Like if I didn't ship myself last year, do I have two this year? Let me go on.

Please. One caveat, however, is that if he goes a whole year, he thinks he gets to add a poo to the bank. So at 38 years of age, if I've hypothetically only shat myself three times, I've got 35. In the bank. Yeah. Which is hypothetical. Not a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah. Because is he trying to say like accidents happen and we shouldn't ridicule and shame because like everyone shits myself once?

well I think he's like not well I get one a year where you're not allowed to laugh at me but if I shit myself more than once a year and this is Trevor's friend saying this by the way yeah sure Trevor's friend's name is also Trevor apparently um he said I think no because shitting yourself is always funny and it should be shared because you get a bit of joy out of it even if it's like uh no pun intended shitty situation like you're ill or whatever even if it's not funny immediately. It'll be funny soon. I was driving the other day.

Here we go. I'm putting the iPad down. And I was stuck in traffic on the Western Ring Road. Doesn't the Western Ring Road get fucked up sometimes? It, especially because they've been moving all that stuff around. Yeah. And road works, they call them. She gets it.

I've been on the road. I get it. I was stuck in traffic. I love. the ring road and I have that written as a hot take oh spoiler alert forget it for when I use it okay so what are you going to say the rest in ring road fucking rules yeah when it's not under road works it does it's great but when it brings the whole city together well it does the opposite it keeps them apart it's a ring road it brings everyone

together you know how ring road goes around it like a ring yeah it brings us together it's a bypass it bypasses yeah it does the opposite of so instead of going through all the suburbs, you get to just go straight to where you got to go. No, you go around the suburbs. That's what I'm saying. Instead of going through them, you just get to get exactly where you need to go. You go around. It brings us together.

So true. Yeah. I get it. You don't. So I was stuck in traffic on the... Are we in a fire? No, no. I'm stuck on the ring road.

Yeah, and how's your ring road going? And I need to poo. Classic. And I got stuck in traffic and there's no like... Because once you get past Eltona, there's no road stops on that thing. What are you going to do? Yeah. And it got past the point of me going, oh, fuck, maybe if I went.

And I actually just went, like, I just accepted that I wasn't going to make it. Yeah. And I kind of had this moment where I was like, I've got a pretty, like, fucked up boughs and, like, shit like this happens all the time. Absolutely. But I haven't, like, shat myself since I was a kid, like, fully shat myself bad, besides the times when I have. Yeah. And I was like, and I just kind of. accepted, well, today might just be that day.

So true. And that's all right. And I'll fucking deal with the consequences. And I'm going to shit myself in the West. I actually talking about it really is shit right now. Did you? No. At where were you going or where had you been? Like, what's the context of like? I was coming home

from the airport. Oh, got you. Yeah. Because I think like it also depends where you're going or like, if you're in the car and you go, I'm on my way home. If I shit myself, no, if I shoot myself, at least I'm going home.

Yeah, I'm not on my way to a meeting. I'm not on my way to work. I'm not meeting a friend for dinner and I go, well, I won't be seeing you today. But once I accepted that I was going to shit myself, it took the pressure off because I wasn't fighting it. And without the pressure, I made it home. You were fine. That's good. And then Bridget came home and said, hey, sweetie.

how's your trip? I was like, get the fuck out of my way. I'll tell you real soon, like real soon. How, where's your stance on? So I think I like it.

I don't agree with the banking because then what if we hung out and I shat myself 35 times next year? And then what am I going to do? I can't laugh the whole time. That's what I mean. You're shing yourself 35 times. Well, after. That's like once every one and a half weeks.

You know? Math's chat. Um, sorry for being. a fucking queen genius. Queenius, as they say. Why isn't anyone saying Queenius? So if I

shat myself here every second week, you'd be like, well give it a fucking rest. Like, can we do something? Can you make a change? Can we figure this out? Do you want to go before we start filming? You've been a real Greg. You know? And that's where the banking for me, I'm like, well, no,

because... I don't agree with the banking. I also just don't agree that you get one a year. I think that it's funny and what takes the bad part away from it is letting it be funny you shitting yourself is pretty funny oh but i i think he's not saying like a part of the people teasing you is the fun well i think it's like you like if you shat yourself in high school it'd be like well that's my life over and i did walking home from school one day shut myself and did everyone know no no No, but like, if you show yourself at school and everyone knew,

you'd be like shitty pants lodge for the rest of your time. Oh, 1,000. And so there's no like, oh, that was just my first one. And everyone goes, no worries, don't worry about it. Yeah. So I think he's like, I also think high school's different because kids are fucking They're so mean. But I think he's thinking like a social cancellation.

Not like a few laws between the lads. Yeah, okay. See, I'm thinking more about like it from the perspective of like, me telling you guys I shit myself, that to me puts me back in control and I go, oh, you get a, something really bad happened to me and I want everyone to enjoy it because that's funny.

When I, a part of my accepting that I was going to shit myself in the ringerob was like, well, I'll tell the guys on the show. You get a great story out of it. Exactly. But I think in the moment, it's not great.

So it's really crazy to me though to go back to something that you said early is that you said that as an adult you haven't shit yourself. Oh, like full shut myself. What, yeah, I think. We need to determine. And that's actually not true now, I think about it. But we need to determine a scale of what is shit yourself.

Because not that we would talk about it. I might have in Jakarta. You, yeah. I did. Yeah. But we were new friends. We hadn't been doing, we'd only been doing the pop flag like a year. So I think that.

That wasn't a full shit. I would say a trusted fart that didn't deserve to be trusted. And you went, I'm, I've got a, fuck. I just fired and just went, oh. I've got a butterfly painting in my pants and I need to get to the shower. What's happened to our show? Because your cheek. You do a bit and you open it up and it's same on both sides.

I think that we need to determine what shitting yourself is because are we talking like a full shit in the pants and being like, yeah, so when I shat a little bit, I said to it, I said, what are we? What are we? What is this? Because when we were, I read this message and I went, well, absolutely not. Like you, fuck a shit yourself, enjoy it. Have fun.

Who cares? When I, not that we talk about it. until the next Olympics. But when I shut myself downstairs, are we considering that a shit yourself? Because I had to shit in the garden. Is that a shit yourself? But that's like, where are we?

Nah, because like when Mabel does a bushwee, she didn't like not make it. She just weed in the bush. Weed in the bush. And you did a bush poop. I did a bush push. A bush push. Yeah, pushed it in the bush, even though it is the industrial area.

Not a lot of bush around. No. Well, it was when I took my pants off. You know what I'm saying? But because we would, I got this message. I was like, oh, fuck, that's pretty interesting. I don't agree. And then Charles told me, well, does it really matter?

And I was like, what do you mean? Does it matter? And he goes, I have never in my life pissed or shit myself. That doesn't surprise me. Who hasn't shit themselves? Charles. I said a caveat. There was one time last year.

Okay, there was one time. I was, hey, I was letting you off the hook. I don't think you know what never means. Never have I ever? Oh, can I tell you was... Charles cheated himself in Heathrow Airport and had to get the tube home. Did you? I got a taxi in the end.

Poor taxi driver. Can I tell you one of the great never, never stories? Yeah. One of the great misuses of the word never. Would Charles never shit himself? I just can't believe that's the only time that you've shit yourself. Haley Bieber. What?

Haley Bebar has dropped one of the worst never sentences I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. So she's on Call her Daddy or she's on something. Yeah. You got to watch those Real Housewives spoilers though. Cool her daddy. And they're talking about,

let me go on the record and say, if you want to get Botox, fucking get Botox and live your life and do whatever the fuck you want. I love that shit. Chris Jenner's face, remember that day that happened and we were all sitting around being like,

fuck yeah. I mean, that is not Botox. But yes, I get it. Plastic surgery as a thing. I'm just like, go hard. I think if it makes you feel hot, I absolutely love it. Get it.

Yeah. And if you're decided, oh, that's not for me. I'm whatever. Good for you too. I actually don't give a fuck. You live your best life. I'm with you. I also cannot.

I, this might be crazy. And it might actually go into what you're saying. I can't tell basically ever. Yeah. If someone says to me like, oh, God, they've had work done or whatever. I'm like, what? what does that look like? Yeah, I don't either.

I can genuinely, very rarely tell. I saw it before and after of Bradley Cooper and I went, they're both Bradley Cooper. Like, I just, I never. Yeah. And if people go, oh, they've aged well, they've obviously had work done. I'm like, I'm just never thinking about that. Yeah, never. Yeah, same.

So. A friend of mine that I, like, someone that I know well is like, I've got to go get Botox again. I was like, you've had, like, I just had no idea. I was like, okay, good for you. So, Haley, Bieber goes, hey, for all the people to get Botox go get it sister love that for you personally

I've decided that I'm never ever going to do it and that's just the decision I've made but I'm not against it I just love it for you guys it's not for me I've decided I'm never ever ever going to do it until I'm 30

and I'm like also fine the choice is not the problem the pump up of the word never ever ever like but also never until I'm 30 isn't she 27

I don't think she knows what never means but like that's like not that far away I won't be for the next three years never ever ever I'll never do it until then I'll never do it until I do it I wonder if she shit herself this year she's had a kid so probably

so true yeah where's that story we're so shitting herself when she gave birth That's fucking grim. Yeah. I just think we, you shouldn't get a free one. And you certainly shouldn't get to bank them up.

You shouldn't get a free 35. No. I don't think you should get to bank them up at all. I think shitting yourself is always funny. So Trevor, tell you mate, that's our stance. Tell your friend. I've got an amazing you love to see it here. Yep.

Mine's pretty small and shit. So can I go first? Then we'll end on your beautiful one. Okay. My love to see it is go. pros on downhill mountain bikes. Oh. And you're just watching like from the rider's point of view going down a hill and stuff.

And you know, you know when you watch them. And you go. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Every time I see one bridge is like, can you come here?

And I'm like, yeah, just give me, oh, well, I'm going to be three minutes. Yeah. Because this hill looks long. Yeah.

And then you go, they're not going to make it. And they always do it. And then by the time you get to the end, like you watching, you're exhausted. And then I go, hold your breath the whole thing.

Hold your breath, you're steering, and then you go, imagine how they feel. I don't know. The real skinny ones. And they're rocking and they land and it's like a wheel wide. No room for error. I love to see those. I love them.

I do love that as well. Good on mountain bike riders. Good on GoPro. Good on whoever introduced those two people to each other. Good on GoPro. Because they're banging, but it doesn't, the smoothness. It's absolutely. made a truly great content.

It's so relaxing, except when you have to steer. It is, what's the word of Sean Crowbarian? I don't know. Immensely. It is immensely satisfying watching those videos and watching their immense talent. Yes, you're right. They are immensely talented. My love to see it is a really beautiful one, and I saw this, and I just absolutely

teared up. In, it's in America's, I think it says on the video exactly where it is. But there is this sporting ground. Oh, you can't see it. I can't be, I'll put it on the screen. I can't be trusted. Oh, here we go. The University of Iowa, they have the most incredible tradition waving to the children in the children's hospital that overlooks the stadium.

So they're all watching the game. And then there's obviously like the ground announcer goes, hey, and let's give it up for the kids that are in the hospital. and they all shine their torches on their iPhones and they all wave up at all of the kids in the hospital. That's beautiful, I was just touching my foot and sorry everyone about that. And you can see the kids up in the windows like waving back down. Like you see them, they've got their little torch song and stuff. And they all wave back down to all the people.

Isn't that the most beautiful fucking thing you've ever seen in your life? And wouldn't that be something? Because I guess in you're in hospital, you don't have a lot to look forward. forward to perhaps and wouldn't that just be like oh tonight there's a game on oh you go every friday night there's a college game and of course they'll fuck it or whatever it is what everyone knows that friday night is high school football Saturday is college and NFL is Sunday god damn does everyone know that I don't think so sorry I don't think so those outside of Ireland you know what tell those kids they're fucking wrong two days early

they thought it was the high school football game what are you in hospital for not we're having a fucking watch or a brain who doesn't know something might not yeah who doesn't know about the friday fucking football schedule sorry about that i saw that and wept yeah that's that's i've had a fucking absolute terrible week of the algorithm that has been very sweet shit that has fucking sent me i just thought that was you're right they don't have a lot to look forward to and like some of them probably can't like anybody in hospital some them probably can't have visitors. Yeah.

Like while my mum was sick, when she, at points where she was really low immunity, you weren't allowed to go in there. Oh, of course. Like, because if you've got any germs on you or you're carrying any kind of, they probably have times where, and if you're getting prepped for surgery and you can't see people and stuff, I just thought that was so beautiful. And I love that everyone else gets into it. Yeah, like, everybody there is doing it.

It makes me really want to go and watch a game there so you can, like, be part of the tradition. Do you want to go to Iowa? Where's Iowa? It's close to Latvia. We'll go on the way It's right next to Riga I actually don't think

You could get further away from each other Those two places So if you were talking about Melbourne Iowa and Latvia The three furthest points from each other Yeah You couldn't get to either With less than two flights

Yeah Yes Yeah Where is Iowa though in America It's right in the middle baby Oh Cool and country What's called me?

Oh, here we go Right in the middle Oh hang on It's near Illinois So I can go to Chicago Yeah And Charles go University of Iowa

To Riga Oh yeah Do directions Leave now Yeah We'll go now What's the traffic lot 15 hour flight

They got a direct flight That is not a direct flight There's a direct flight From Riga to Iowa You couldn't get there Two stops France I'm sorry

France From Cedar Rapids It's a direct flight From Riga to Frankfurt From Frankfurt to Chicago From Chicago to eastern Iowa airport What's that four flights Chicago

Oh no I want to fly business Charles That's a long one Show me how much it will cost To go from How much is business from Chicago To Eastern Iowa Airport we might be able to use our points yeah because aren't you

isn't Iowa airlines are part of the Qantas Alliance I think so yeah $12, $12,000 Ramp or return We have to get back to Riga afterwards Don't have to miss the speech All right

Thank you so much for watching today We appreciate it Normal or nah is back tomorrow Yay Sorry I've got itchy ear That's right I've been swimming heaps And my

Oh, so we keep hearing about it Because you went for life You're doing a good job And I'm jealous I'm lous You need what We're not ending this episode Until you fucking fix your attitude

Yeah you know what Your attitude stinks like your breath Someone said that to me once And I started to cry And you know who it was B-B-B-ha No comment No surprise

no surprise that that's what it was Did your breath smell though I don't know We lived together So probably at some point If you live Here's my number nine rule of life Okay

You can't tell someone And complain about them Having bad breath When you live with them Because if you can only have Bad breath in one place It's your own home That's true

It's like I live here Yeah You do I just woke up Yeah Well I'm yeah Yeah I woke up

Because I wake up with the, because breathing through my nose, no. So my mouth is so dry and dank and smells. And I said, especially like after you've been sick and stuff, like, it's like, yeah. And so I said something to bridge in the morning. She goes, your breath stinks. And I go, of course it does. Of course it does.

Give it a fucking spell. No, I'm on your side. Thank you. I wasn't a minute. Yeah, I don't know. I am now. And now I know how to get you back. When I're in doubt, you need an ally, bad breath. That'll get her around. Love you.

I love you. than I love Kit Kat McFlurries. That's not true. It is true. No, it's not. And you know what that means to me. No, that's what I'm saying. And they're almost going to finish those, by the way.

I saw on the sign at some random time that wasn't yesterday. After that meeting got cancelled, you went, well, I guess I know where I'm going. What else am I going to do at my time? I've already got the hour blocked out. Yeah. I might as well, fucking go get a Kit Kat McFlurray and jerk off in the car park. And it said for, oh, I did not eat the McFlurry in the car park. it said for like limited time

like closing soon almost on the Kit Kat McFlurry that's bad news for you what I'm going to do is go to Costco and buy like a huge fuck ton of Kit Katz and then just get plain McFlurries and do it myself

oh yeah yeah you could get a ninja creamy swirl do they plug into the thing in the car yeah you got to do it to power no you could get like an inverter yeah and then it would Inverter just on an ice cream

frame. Yeah. All right. Love you. Have a good done. Catcher. Good fun. Good done. I'm a good done. Love you. Bye. Bye you.