Toni and Ryan - Yawn Fingering

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

The only fingering we DON'T endorse on this show!!! Hehe ya best normal or nah's, and something plaguing workplaces. Love ya! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. Hello. My name is Ryan. I'm here with the doctor, bestselling author, Tony Lodge. Wow. God, I get a lot done. You do. Yeah. You're very busy. And we are calling Canada and we're calling Chris. Oh, Chris in Canada. Chris Nadar. Hello. Hello, Chris. It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Hi, good. How are you guys doing? We're well. Sorry, we just had a few phone issues, which is why we called and hung up on you a bunch of times. I hope that's okay.

I was like, well, someone's calling me. And then it was just like dead silence of like, I think I'm being stalked right now. You are. Well, then I did that really dumb thing. I was like, Ryan, test calling me just to make sure it works. And he called me. And I was like, oh, my God, I've got a missed call.

You know? But, Chris, where do you say you're from? Regina? Is that how you say it? Okay. So I suspected this might come up, actually. So the name of the city I live in is Regina. Okay.

Yes. Yes. Please. Did. Yes, yes, please. Please do. Please laugh. Did you hear that snort from a different hemisphere? I heard it across half the planet. Regina. Regina. You hardly fucking know it.

Wow, Regina. The joke is that I think it was 2002, 2003, the Rolling Stones were in town and they called Regina the place that rhymes with fun. Oh, that's good. I like that. That's clever. That's a clever way of not saying vagina, isn't it?

Fuck. Yes. Regina. Wow. Regina. Oh, my God. Do you reckon that that's why in Mean Girls Regina's called Regina because it's like Regina and they're like, she's a c**t. Maybe.

Do you reckon? Yeah, sure. Anyway, welcome to the show, everyone. Hi, this is Chris from Regina, Saskatchewan, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, if you or your workplace or someone in your life has to do like a group coffee order, listen the fuck up because there's rules that you need to abide by. It's plaguing workplaces around the world and it has to stop. Thank you.

But first, let's do Normal or Nah. And today's edition of Normal or Nah is brought to you by the Tony and Ryan Normal or Nah card game. The link is in the episode notes of this show, Instagram, TikTok, wherever. The link's there. A card game. All the animations are of us and our dogs and people who have sent in their Normal or Nahs. It's fucking awesome.

It's like lots of very relatable Normal or Nahs that maybe we've talked about before. I think people are going to love it, and I'm so excited for them to have it in their hot little hands. Absolutely. Tapa Liz says, It's time to love it. And I just, I'm so excited for them to have it in their hot little hands. Absolutely. Tapa Liz says it's time to get real. Oh no, Liz, what's happened? Paying in the pool is normal, but we all supposedly have to pretend like it's a nah.

We all do it. We all do it. We all do it. We all do it. Normal, normal, normal. Tens across the pool. Stop lying to yourself. That's the thing. It's one of those things all do it? We all do it. Normal, normal, normal. Tens across the pool. Stop lying to yourself. That's the thing. It's one of those things where people

go like, that's disgusting. I'm like, bro, you literally just did it. We were in the pool together the other day and producer Cam said, I need to do a wee and I said, just do it. In the hotel? There were kids in there. Yeah, okay. But hey, I'm doing the same thing. There wasn't kids in there. I'm sitting here pretending like I didn't piss in that same pool.

Yeah, we all did it. Yep. I think there's a lot of things that like the royal way, like everyone. Don't say royal way when you're talking about it. Yeah, sorry. Good point. That like everybody does and they go, oh, how could you? Yeah.

But then you know that everyone's doing it. Yeah. It's the same as like every time I've mentioned before on this podcast, oh, how could you? But then you know that everyone's doing it. It's the same as like every time I've mentioned before on this podcast, right, or in a video that I hadn't washed my sheets in ages and everyone's like, that's disgusting. I'm like, as if you've never let it go a bit long. Yeah. Or as if you've never let your towels maybe go a bit long. Or, yeah, picking your nose in the car or whatever.

You know, like there's so much stuff that everybody does it. They go, oh, I never do that. But they're doing it. To be fair, I can agree with that. We've let the sheets go a bit too long. Maybe it copped an extra couple of days or an extra week than it should have. You did go, oh, you know, six months here or there. That's a bit of a...

Well, I just don't think that I'm the only person that's ever done that. No, that's true. And you've just done the exact thing that people do. And I bet you there's been a time in your life where your sheets have been the same for quite an extended period of time. When we're talking about things, it means in the last five years. It doesn't mean when you were 19 and in college because that's immaterial. Doesn't it?

Immaterial. No, there's no statute of limitations of being disgusting That's funny That is quite funny I'll take that High five If you came and stayed the night, Tony Like you and Torbs came over for dinner, had a few beers

Like, oh, stay in the spare room, blah, blah, blah And then in the morning I was like, oh Haven't been invited, but just hypothetically Fucking take that back You were invited Hypothetically, hypothetically Hypothetically You were invited For New Year's I hypothetically. You were invited. Hypothetically. You were invited for New Year's. I said stay the night, but then obviously there was dogs and babies and it got a bit

tricky, but you don't, but like you were invited. I haven't been invited since. Would you like to come over? Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to. You're about to have a baby. If in the morning, I think this is quite a nice thing. We've got a few like um like spare toothbrushes

oh yeah yeah you've got to i think and i think and even some like um some feminine sanitary products are in this sure like because bridge was like oh like it's one of those things where you'd never think about and then when you're saying it sometimes you go oh my god like yeah and so especially over summer with like the pool and because like it was just so exciting to have a pool so we had people coming over all the time yeah and we have like the guest bathroom so well let's just make it really comfy so people can feel like if they want to have a shower yeah okay so we can all agree that's great right janine asked normal or nah having a singular community toothbrush for guests. So she goes,

oh, wouldn't it be nice if there's a spare toothbrush for guests to use? And I go, I agree. And then it's just like, here's the one sitting in the cup that's just like for guests. I don't want to use the same toothbrush that Aunty Nora used two weeks ago. What if Torbs and I were coming to stay at Janine's?

Are we both using the same? Yeah, it's the guest one. Oh, here you go. Yeah. Okay. I guess the only thing that I do understand is that someone using a toothbrush once is quite wasteful. Yeah. But I would just be like use that and take it with you yeah or like take that home because like so i always have i have like a

dispose not a disposable like a um fucking analog toothbrush what is that called a toothbrush yeah analog so not your electric one not my so my electric one like lives at home, but because I travel a lot and I also like whenever I go to the gym, I take like my – so my toilet bag is always packed because I have to move around so much. Really? And in my toilet bag, I have like makeup remover, face cleanser, all my skincare stuff, a spare toothbrush and that kind of thing. So I like whenever I go to a hotel and if I don't have a toothbrush or I stay at someone's

house, I like always have a toothbrush with me. Yeah. So I feel like if I was using a toothbrush somewhere, I always bring it, like pop it in my bag so that I've always got a spare. Oh, so you wouldn't need the spare toothbrush in my place anyway. But so like if somebody had a toothbrush there, you'd hope that they would take it, not use it and then leave it behind. Put it back in the thing.

Yeah. It's fucked. It's fucking gross. It's fucking gross. It's fucking gross. Yeah. Agree. Have you ever... Fuck, I regret it.

And I can't undo this now. Have you ever in a pinch... In a pinch... Shared a toothbrush with your wife, Bridget? Never. Never. And not because I'm a liar, but because I would just much rather not brush my teeth. But if you had to choose, in a pinch,

if you had to choose, you know what I mean? Like, that's the choice I would make. Okay. I don't know if that's the right choice. I don't know if there is a right choice in this option. Yeah, they're both wrong. In this situation.

Yeah. But that would be my... Okay. Yeah. Good. And I'm not proud of it, but that is the truth. Good. What would you...

Have you... Yeah, you have. In a pinch. In a pinch. Torbs and I have, at one stage, shared a pinch. In a pinch. Torbs and I have at one stage shared a toothbrush. Like we were away somewhere and only one of us had one. I thought you were going to say which stage. Oh, when we lived in Bunbury.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, at one event maybe or something. Like that we were away and only had one. And I was like, oh, do you mind if I just use yours or he used mine or something? We have done that. I think that's okay. I'm not going to judge you, because here's my thoughts on a lot of things. Again, not correct, but just my thoughts.

Yep. The less you think about it, the more it's fine. If you go into detail and fucking watch a YouTube video about shit, and you know how people used to send us the link to that, the toilet seat thing and the science shit? If you don't think about it, it's okay. Before I saw that video, I cared a lot less. Yeah. So just don't think about it, it's okay. Before I saw that video, I cared a lot less. Yeah.

So just don't think about it. Just brush your teeth and move on with your day. Yeah, no, I get you. Sue Jones. Hi, Sue Jones. This is quite funny. Sue Jones, normal or nah? Adding items to your grocery list as you put them in the cart in the supermarket.

I just love the satisfaction of then crossing them off the list. Oh, yeah, I do that too. 100% normal. Oh, I need that. Oh, well, now write it down. Yep, great. 100%. Yeah, yeah, I do that too. 100% normal. Oh, I need that. Oh, well, now write it down. Yep, great. 100%. Yeah, no, I'm all about that.

I write my shopping list in order of the direction I walk around the shopping center, that, like, shop. So at my local Coles, I get to a certain part of, like, the vegetable section first. So that is the first thing on the top left of my list. That's very clever. Instead of going back and forth, there's a gap and you end up going back to the fruit place three times. And then like,

then there's like the meat section or the fresh pasta or the eggs or whatever. And like, that's the order that it's in my list. That's genius shit. Thank you. Can you do that within the app? I mean, you can do anything in the app,

can't you? But like, imagine saying in the app, here's what I want. And then there's a button like, can you order this in the app, can't you? But imagine saying in the app, here's what I want, and then there's a button like, can you order this in the logical walking way? Oh, yeah. So then you can be in the store with the app and just go through.

That's a great idea. But if you're already in the app, aren't you just hitting order and do it online and they bring it to your house? Yeah, probably. You know what I mean? Hey, Westy. Hey, Westy. And that's not me saying hi.

Hey, Westy. That's the name. Oh, Westy. No. No, like, hey. Hey, West the name. Oh, Westy. No. No, like hey. Hey, Westy. First name, Westy. What?

First name, hey. Hey. Surname, Westy. Westy. Hey, Westy. Hey, hey, Westy. Hi, hi, Westy. No.

Hello, hey, Westy. Did you say hey, hi, Westy? Can you say hi to hey, Westy, who plays the hi-hat? Hey, hi, Westy. Fine. Hi, to Hey Westy who plays the hi-hat? Hey, Hi Westy. Fuck. Hi, Hey Westy. You used to play in that hi-hat. Oh, how tall are you?

Very high. Fuck. That's really hard. Anyway. What do cows eat? Hay. Grass. Grass.

Grass? They don't eat hay, do they? Don't they? I thought they did Horses eat hay Hey Westy says Normal or nah Hey Westy

When someone yawns You stick your finger In their mouth And fully stuff up their yawn Fuck off Fuck you Fuck off Everyone I know hates it

But I think it's the funniest thing ever Nothing drives me fucking mad art than when someone fingers my yawn. Ryan hates that. Because. You hate that. Laura, this person I knew, used to do it to me. I'm fucking her, isn't it? So you were fingering her and she was, sorry.

Sorry. Were you though? We lived together for a while. Is this the girl that you broke up with via Facebook Messenger? It is, eh? It's not important to this story. That part is not important to the story. It's not wrong.

So you were fingering her. She was fingering your yawn and then you broke up with her on Facebook. To be fair, if anyone deserves to be dumped on Facebook Messenger, it's a yawn fingerer. It's someone that fingers a yawn. Yeah, I actually totally agree with that. Thank you very much. Yep, you've never said something that's rung more true. If anyone deserves to be dumped on Facebook Messenger, it's a yawn fingerer. It's someone that fingers a yawn. Yeah, I actually totally agree with that. Thank you very much.

You've never said something that's rung more true. Yeah. If Laura watches this, she's actually lovely. I hope you're doing well. Maybe text her on Facebook. Just check in. The last message is like eight years ago. Hey.

No, I couldn't. If I saw that, I would vomit. I think I've... I don't even fucking care about hay waste anymore. I think I've taken it... Oh, no, I do. I've taken it too far because now I'm doing it to my poor dog. And now every time she sits near me and goes to yawn, she side-eyes me to see if I'm looking.

And if I am, she quietly closes her mouth and doesn't yawn. Oh, you're a... Monster. Fucking parasite. That is awful. Fucking parasite. That's awful. You sound like a grandpa yelling at the local football.

You little parasite. You parasite. That is the worst when people do that to you because when you yawn you need the satisfaction right thank you it's that your body needs the oxygen yep you're trying to strangle someone to death may as well drown in a bathtub yeah sorry if you want to kill me just fucking shoot me in between the eyes don't know why i said that sorry um finally gloria Finally Gloria Gloria Gloria

Gloria Gloria Gloria You know how I'm into Macklemore at the moment? Yeah I feel Gloria Gloria Got a chance to stay

Yep Gloria says Gloria, Gloria, got a chance to say it again. Yep. Gloria says. I was born for this, born for this. So I am not going to forget. Gloria said. I made it through the darkest part of the night. And now I see the sunrise.

Now I feel Gloria, Gloria. I feel Gloria, Gloria. I feel Gloria, Gloria. Gloria says normal or nah. We nailed that. I'm sorry, but we nailed that. I was trying to keep a straight face. I fucking sucked at it. Gloria says normal or nah.

Feeling stressed and anxious when you go to the toilet in a restaurant and the person before you who used the bathroom left a huge skid mark or fecal stain and you don't want the person using the toilet after you thinking it was you. So then you have to clean up someone else's shit to avoid the embarrassment. Gloria says, do you clean it yourself or do you just ignore it and hope the next person won't catch you coming out of the toilet and blame you for the mess? I think that's normal. The conundrum is normal.

I always clean it because I know that the person that comes in after me is going to be like, whoa, she. Yeah, it's fuck day. But here's the thing. Was it the person before you or did they face the same conundrum and decide to not give a shit? No pun intended. That's a good point. I have to get back to you. That's really interesting.

I've never thought of it. I just always assume it's the person before me, so I assume that the person after me is going to assume it was movie. Do you just ignore it, hoping the next person won't catch you? Or can you just live with the fact that the person sees you, thinks you did the nasty poo, and you just have to live with that? No, I can't. No.

Because I feel Gloria, Gloria, got a chance to say it. Beautiful. Hi, this is Chris from Regina, Saskatchewan, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Rooney McTeese. Thanks, Rooney. Tabitha Frank.

Christine Stickney. RZA Samalpong. We met RZA in Adelaide. Oh, that's right, because they have RZA. And we had a big conversation about it. I was accused last week when I think REE took a photo of us in Flinders Lane.

And you got a little turned on because someone, Ryan Jonathan, was wearing a backward cap and you didn't hate that, did you? It's a really hot photo of you. Thank you. And thank you for just turning it and making it a bit thirsty in the comments because I, not that I needed to pick me up, but I fucking felt it. You don't say no. No, I felt that.

And then someone said, oh, Ryan, you look like you've got ritz. Nice. And I was like, oh, this is my day. I'll take that. This is my day. And Brittany Dininger, thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. We fucking love to see it. Don't forget that you can check out our new Normal or Nah card game.

We just did Normal or Nah. You'll absolutely love it. It's as fun as that. Yeah. At all times. At all times. I've never had not fun playing that game. All the info and the links and stuff are in our show notes and on Instagram and all that. You can find it there.

Is chivalry dead? Tony Lodge, yes or no? Nah. Does a lady still appreciate a guy holding a door open? I feel like you could take the lady and the guy out of it and just say, like, if a person does that, is that nice? Because I think it is. Yeah.

Like, if you're holding a door and you, like, hold it open for the person behind you or whatever, that's just, like, a nice thing to do. And, for instance, when you walk into a door and you like hold it open for the person behind you or whatever, that's just like a nice thing to do. And for instance, when you walk into our... It's just polite. Yeah. When you walk into our building, it's only really one person down the hallway. So if we're both walking together, sometimes I'll just be like, oh, you know.

Yeah. But that's just, it's just nice. Right. I think that any person, no matter their gender or identifier identifier can be chivalrous to another person couldn't have said it better you know like i don't think it needs to be like oh you know those like fucking really outdated things of like oh the man should walk on the road side of the sidewalk and like so ridiculous but i just don't i just don't um subscribe to that shit. Yeah. So I went to a cafe the other day to get like a takeaway coffee for Bridget and I. Two iced lattes, please.

Should have been in and out in three minutes. And I'm walking towards this cafe in Altham. For those playing along at home, it was the main in the Kohl's shopping center. Okay. But why this is important is because it's like the cafe is in like a shopping center shopping center and so because it's on a strip you've got people from walking from both directions and so i'm walking from the cafe to the cafe and this lady's also walking to the cafe but from the opposite direction yep yep so you're gonna like meet at the cafe yeah and we were like bang on gonna hit the front door at the same time right and i like could have done that like not

run but you know you kind of just put in like a quick step yeah or slow down a little bit to make sure you're not like yeah but like i could have got in first but i went oh shiver and and i'll often if you arrive at the same place and again i agree take gender out of it but i was just like oh i was like oh play after you yeah you know honestly i got nowhere to be we both have to be inside the same place but yeah so who get you know you go first and she goes oh thank you and like she she appreciated the chivalry yeah and then she pulls out a piece of paper and goes oh thanks mate yeah i will go first thanks for letting me through first pulls out the piece of paper can i get four flat whites two with

oat milk two regular milk but one of the regulars with half strength, one soy cappuccino, two lattes, one with oat milk, one with almond, and three iced coffees, one with oat milk, two regular milk, and one of those regulars have an extra shot, please. What a bitch. If you... Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. The first thing that we need to talk about is she should have gone

or I'm actually getting like 20 coffees. Do you want to go first? Thank you for saying that. I think you have to. Thank you for saying that because, to be honest, that's what I thought. I thought I was being polite, but I think similar to when you've got a loaf of bread and I've got a full trolley for six kids and a whole family for the week. You go, oh, scan your bread doll and see you later.

Scan your bread because I'm going to be a fucking while. Yeah. And she was like, oh, thanks, mate. But it was like the actual, that's not actually the correct answer. The correct is like, oh, no, thanks. But I've just come from the office. I've got a fucking piece of paper. Yeah.

So is that on her? Yeah, I think that in that situation you have to go, oh my God, after you, I'm actually getting heaps of stuff. Or if you don't want to say that, just go, oh, I don't know what I want yet. Just to like break the tension of being like, oh, you know, no, you go, I'm still making up my mind. And I think that's pretty fair.

If you're at a cafe and then you're holding the menu or whatever and you go, oh, I just need to have a thing. You go. You go ahead of me. And also the like at a cafe and then you're like you're holding like the menu or whatever and you go oh i just need to have a thing you go you go ahead of me and also at like a little cafe there's often only like one barista oh yep i know yeah yeah yeah so you know that it's going to take quite some time do you know the other problem with this imagine having the audacity when someone goes i'm going i'm just going to go grab a coffee. Does anyone want anything? Actually saying yes.

That's an empty offer. People don't mean it when they say that. Oh, did you want anything? They go, oh, yeah, I'd love a double shot, cappuccino, no foam, fucking ding dong, whatever. You can't. You're not doing that. You can't.

Well, people are. Well, they shouldn't be. Working from home was the best thing that ever happened to this country. You don't have to fucking do that anymore. You don't have to lie and pretend like. That you care about other people? Yeah. Yeah.

Because when I'm going to get a coffee, I don't want to carry two trays back and go, oh, where's Justine? I've got her fucking baby Chino. You know what I mean? So hang on, four flat whites, one caps, that's five. There was ten coffees. Ten coffees. Which is more, because you know how the trays have like four

and then like a just random middle bit where you put your fuckachia. So she has to guess like two. Yeah, it's for your banana bread and your sundries from the cafe. So they have to get two like separate carry trays and then get a third. And then they rip the other one and put that in the middle. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, do you reckon it's sort of on the barista to go, oh, that's a big order.

I might just grab this guy's coffee. Or is that not his job? Nah, that's not his job. Yeah, nah. I think. So if someone comes. Sorry, just on the trays. Have you seen the places that Cut open the oat milk containers

And turn that into a tray? I like that Isn't that good? Because you're just going to toss that out anyway What? A new cafe Not the one I was just talking about This other one in research

No names There's only There's two cafes in research Yeah, okay It's the other one Could be anyone Yeah Is this the one that we've been to together? In research There's two cafes in Research. Yeah, okay. It's the other one. Could be anyone. Yeah.

Is this the one that we've been to together? In Research. That's in Research, isn't it? Did we go to one in Research together? That morning when we went out for breakfast after we... No, no, that was in Melbourne. Oh, okay. Sorry. That was a good cafe.

I was going to say, don't get a kick out of there. They must get their carry trays and their coffee cups from different places because- They don't fit. They don't fit. Isn't it like universal sizing? I would have- You would have thought so, wouldn't you? Sorry, I've hit a nerve.

You would have thought so, wouldn't you? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Because they go, oh, it might be easier to take home. Wow, guess who got home with a fucking iced coffee on his passenger seat? Because they're just falling out the side. I hate that. And because most cars now have like a cup holder. And I'm like, I've got a car with built-in cup holders.

And I trusted you. I went, no, actually, no. I'll leave it in the tray. I will leave it in the tray. That's its intended purpose. Because sometimes if I don't need one, and I don't know if this is like, I'm not trying to be a fucking do-gooder here, but when it's like if there's something like a packaging that I don't need,

I'll try my best not to take it. Oh, yeah. I feel like most people do. Yeah, yeah. And usually when it's like if there's something like a packaging that i don't need i'll try my best not to take it oh yeah i feel like that's just normal right yeah usually when it's two coffees i go oh no i can carry that because you go i've got two hands and then i've got two cup holders in the car and then i'm gonna go inside i think that's fine carry train i went yeah and then it didn't so who's like figure that out yeah figure like what's that that has one point is to carry a drink and if i can't carry a drink, then what's it doing? Yeah. Sorry, I'm upset. No, that is really annoying.

So whilst I agree, don't call someone out on an empty offer. I'm just grabbing a coffee. In some workplaces, there is a bit of a like, on Thursdays, the boss gives us the credit card and we're allowed to whatever. And Mel goes down and gets it and whatever. Yeah. So if we pass that step of, oh, this isn't actually an empty offer. It's like a thing.

Or it's someone's birthday. We'll get some coffees and a little cake or whatever. Is that where you maybe pull back a bit on the double shot on oat fucking half skim whatever? I think so. I just, I would never ever think to go oh but maybe that's me maybe but then if i was taking the coffee orders yeah i would want people to say what they wanted because i would want them to get what they wanted but like then at the same time you go i can't you know when you like in the past i've definitely done this, been like, oh, I'm going to grab something for lunch. Do you guys want anything?

And someone goes, oh, yeah, I do. And then you go, fuck, now I've got to do it. And, like, you don't mind doing it, but you go, oh, fuck, now I've got to do it. Yeah, no, I feel that. It's like offering to get Subway for people. Subway is a nightmare. You can't say.

I'll get the Big Mac. I'll get the Whopper. Yeah, nah. Here's my 15 point... Yeah, I'll get the steak and cheese on Italian herbs and cheese and like no salt and pepper, but I will get it toasted. Oh my God, stay at home. Stay at home.

Do you know what I mean? Stay at home. You can't be doing that. Can we just get real for a second? Yeah. I'm a Melbourne guy. Yep. I love the taste of coffee.

I don't like a wanker about it, but I enjoy a coffee. And I appreciate that Melbourne's got a coffee culture. Coffee culture. Flat whites. Yep. Lattes. Yep. Cappuccinos.

Uh-huh. They're all the same thing. I think so. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a coffee whiz genius or anything, but I'm pretty sure they're all the same. You sprinkle a bit of chocolate on top of a latte, that's a fucking cappuccino.

That's a good point. So when you're doing a group order, say if someone else goes, yeah, I'll get a flat white, I'll get a flat white, then I'll just go, yeah, make it three. Yeah, not 100%. Because, oh, it's two lattes, but three flat white. No, no, no. No, they're all the same. Whoever says latte, cap, or flat white first, just follow them in.

Yeah, I think so too. Because then old mate can go down there and go, hey mate, 10 flat whites. Yep. Two with almond milk, eight regular. And they go, great. Let me start steaming, dog. Yeah. And then maybe Ryan gets home within the hour.

Yeah. Yep. Doesn't have any questions asked. Yeah. About where he's been. About where, yeah, what was going on. Oh, how'd you go with the coffee? Yeah, pretty good.

Oh, you went out for an hour. Yeah, and the coffee now is, you know, water, like the ice latte is watery because the ice is all melted. Do you know what I have a bit of a bug boo in my bum at the moment about? Can you please say another B word? Bug boo bum boobies. Thank you. I think that nowadays, sorry for saying nowadays thank you for apologizing i think

that nowadays you shouldn't have to pay more for weird milk thank you someone had to say it i get back then in the day right when it was like cow milk or like soy was 70 cents or a dollar or fucking 50 cents whatever they probably didn't already have a soy milk open. Yep. So I actually get that. You've got to kind of crack it because they probably won't use the whole thing. Yep. Now, when you go into a cafe, especially in Melbourne,

you go down there and they have a cow milk, an oat milk, a rice milk, a soy milk, and an almond milk all already open. And they're just flicking between milks, right? It's all already open. They're all going to get used just as much as any consumable in a cafe. I don't pay more for a sandwich because they might not sell them all that day. You pay more for it because of what it is. Oh, I haven't cut this loaf.

Yeah, but I think that with milk now, I don't think you should have to pay extra for weird milk. Thank you. It's not weird milk. It's just milk. But just like nut milk or... Non-dairy. Yeah, non-cow milk.

Right. Because they've got all the things open. I also think that like different milk, alternative milk is another thing that like if you don't need it, I'd... With that group order? Yeah, the group order. Oh, we're just doing regular milk? Great. That's fine. I'll follow need it. With that group order? Yeah, the group order. Oh, we're just doing regular milk? Great. That's fine.

I'll follow you in. Like, if you obviously, if it makes you sick or whatever, then I get it. But the chances are that if the barista sees a 20 coffee meal, like, docker on the thing, they're probably putting cow milk in anyway. Yeah, they're probably doing it. Oh, call the police. I want to report a crime. What? This morning. Yeah. Before you I want to report a crime. What?

This morning. Yeah. Before you guys got in, I ordered Uber Eats for breakfast. Saw that. What'd you get? For us? Yeah, I don't remember getting anything when I came in this morning. Did you get a little Ultimate Brekkie Wrap from My Oh My?

No. And we won't be naming names because of what is coming. Well, My Oh My is not what it's called. So it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Also, can we address this thing that I'm apparently not allowed to have breakfast unless I cook for you guys? Well, you didn't cook.

You ordered. And if you're doing an order, I feel like you should offer it to everybody. Even when I'm in here an hour before you guys? Well, shibari's not dead. Oh, that's a great point actually. You produce a camp. Did you get a little breakfast? Because you normally do.

And you hide it in the bin before we come in. I don't hide it in the bin. I put it in the bin when it's finished. Seems like a hide. I don't know if it was like a scramble or an omelette, but it was like an eggy thing. But it had like ducker and some seeds and like hummus. What did it have?

Ducker? Ducker. Yeah, right-o, fancy lady. So it had some ducker, some hummus. Duck. So it was like a little Middle Eastern kind of. Yeah, and an egg thing in it. Yeah, yum.o, fancy lady. So it had some duck, some hummus. So it's like a little Middle Eastern kind of... Yeah, an egg thing in it. Yeah, yum.

It was really yum. And I got a regular-sized coffee. Yep. And I clicked on almond milk. Yep. Guess how much extra I got charged for almond milk in one coffee? Fuck, it can't be more than 70 cents. But I'm guessing... Can't it 70 cents. But I'm guessing...

Can't it, Tony? But I'm guessing it was $1.50. $2. Call the police! I'd like to report a crime. Yeah. What are you going to eat for the rest of the week? You can't afford to eat anything for the rest of the week.

$2? Do I get the... That is fucking daylight robbery. I hope they put it in your coffee and then sent you the rest of the fucking container to take home. I hope I get to keep the coffee machine when they're done. That is a fucking rip off. That, fuck, two bucks is, that's steep. That's fucking steep.

Do you reckon it's on Uber Eats, just on the app, they see you coming and they just jack their prices on the app? Well, I mean, most places now, Uber Eats is like 20% higher than their in-store thing. And they've gone fucking nuts on, so they've gone, okay, a coffee's four bucks. On Uber Eats, let's% higher than their in-store thing. And they've gone fucking nuts. But that's still expensive. So they've gone, okay, a coffee's $4. On Uber Eats, let's make it $6. Yeah. Oh, it's usually $0.50.

Let's make that. I reckon I paid $27 for a coffee this morning. Sure, it did come with eggs and ducker. Yeah. That's a lot for a breakfast. That's a lot for a coffee. Oh, shit. I just remember I left my fucking lunch in the fridge. Shit.

Oh, no. Sorry, personal chat. Oh, another ducker just remembered I left my fucking lunch in the fridge. Oh, no. Oh, another ducker. Another fucking. Yeah, I'll be back on that app. That's insanity. That is a lot. All right. Thank you for letting me whinge and complain.

Sorry, yeah. I just think you've got to keep it lean. If you're doing a group order, be kind to the other people that have to deal with it. Thank you. Tony, please give me your great year. I feel like I need to pick me up. Okay. This is actually very sweet.

Leanne Fraser posted this in our Facebook group and said, After finding the pod on March 3rd, and it is now, what, like a couple of days into April, if I've counted correctly, I'm finally caught up, which is 434 episodes, a Chicken Nugget livestream replay, and an audiobook read by author Dr. Tony Felicia Lodge herself. Hashtag, you love to see it. In one month.

That's fucking cool. So it was March 3rd that Leanne started listening. She's caught up to 450 episodes almost in less than a month. Oh, my God. Just over a month. How many hours in a day? Right? Oh, shit.

Have we done 438 episodes? Well. Should we do something for our 500th? Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know what number we're up to, actually. I wonder if we can find out.

Fuck. That's commitment, though. Isn't that crazy? Is there too much of a good thing? Is she office now? You know what I mean? I don't know. You know when you first start dating someone and you're in that honeymoon phase?

Yeah. Maybe. Is it too much too soon? Maybe Leanne was like, oh, my God, I'm so into it right now. Like, fucking keep going. Drop the wild card. But, Leanne, I fucking love to see that. What a mammoth effort.

Do you want to go again there, bud? What a mammoth effort. What's happened? What a mammoth effort. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What a mammoth effort.

What? I don't know what happened there I've fucking malfunctioned I'm an AI Are you feeling okay? You don't need to get into one of those vans To take you to the hospital do you? What are they called again? Paramedic car

No what are they called? That's what it's called I don't think it is Ambulance What? Ambulance The Ambulance And what did that person do? That it's a mammoth effort Ambliance. What? Ambliance. The Ambliance.

And what did that person do? That it's a mammoth theft. Call the Ambliance. She's crook. What did you love to see? Apart from that. Obviously just then. There was an injured swan at the local lake and some good Samaritans took it to the vet. Because you know how no one owns the birds?

Yeah. No one owns the birds. That's very funny. No, it's not like you've got a pet dog and you, took it to the vet. Because you know how, like, no one owns the birds? Yeah. Why do you love it? No one owns the birds. That's very funny. No, it's not like you've got a pet dog and you take your dog to the vet. No one owns the birds. They are free to do as they please. Yeah, and so they should be.

Yep. I'm not a bird guy. I know you're not a bird guy. That's okay. But this could bring you back to being a bird guy. Okay. So someone took it in to the vet and were like, oh, I think he's got something wrong with him.

Can you like, you know, are they all right? And the vet was like, thanks so much for bringing it in. Yeah, it needs some antibiotics. It's got like a sick wing or it's a little, you know. So after a week in care, they took it back and it turns out the swan was like missing its friend. Did I send you the link? Oh, hang on.

Oh, another story from Reddit. Probably didn't even happen. What's with you and birds? Watch the video. Tell me what's happening. Oh, the swan's in a bag. Oh, it's in the water. Oh, it's flapping over.

Oh, it's swimming over. Oh, it's swimming over Oh, it's swimming over The birds' faces are together They're like having smoochies Because the two swans missed each other The swans are like nuzzling into each other Because the other one was obviously like They took away my friend, I don't know what happened

Am I ever going to see him again And then they reunited lovebirds That's really funny This is the sweetest video I've ever seen. Oh, that's beautiful. It is beautiful. Are you actually crying? No, that's really nice.

There hasn't been tears in the studio since someone slapped a pigeon into a gay. A seagull. A seagull. Sorry, I fucked that up. Fucking hell. We've all fucked that up. All right, ruined a beautiful moment. Thank you so much for listening.

Thank you so much. Are you okay? Sorry. What just happened? Yeah, I'm just... Yeah. All right. Love you.

Are you crying? Are you emotional? No, I'm all good. Are you? I'm all good. Okay. Yeah. Fucking hell.

All right. Love you. Bye. See you tomorrow for the video. Ciao. Love you. Bye.