Toni and Ryan - Your Bedroom Habit That's Disgusting

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Is this going to bust Toni? - Hot Take Toni - Handjob blanket - love ya!!!!!Follow Little Peaches - https://youtu.be/xzZnl_b5qjs?si=HchA4cNPAdJ3ajRl & https://www.instagram.com/littlepeachesburlesque/Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No one should share a B-Ever. It is disgusting. Why do you say this? Just give me a fucking maxi pad and put on my back. Hi, this is Brandon from Kansas City, Missouri. Hi, I'm Sophia from Hamilton, New Zealand. Hi, I'm Bethany on Wadi from Champaign, Illinois, USA. And I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, Bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Some news has come across my desk. I've come across your desk. And how? 81% of millennials say they have to mentally prepare to make a phone call. Sure.

Yep. You can't just pick up the phone or someone rings you and you're like, oh. Yeah. There is a little bit of panic, isn't there? However, this is the same generation that has no problems at all leaving a seven-minute voice know and sending it to someone. Oh, sending that to someone. Yeah, sure.

How are these two facts the same at the same time? What's gone wrong in our brains that's left us with this? Do you know? Because I don't think it's like, the only thing about making a phone call that makes me a little bit nervy is the beginning of like, so you know when and then someone goes, hello? And you go, hi there. I never know whether to like launch right into my. So if you're calling like a business or something,

do you go like, hi, I wanted to see if you got something in stock. Or like how do you enter the, do you know what I mean? I think I do. Is this what you're saying? Because sometimes you give like the receptionist,

your full fucking life story. And they go, I can't. Well, they go, I'll put you through and you go, oh, and then you get to the person.

And then you got to tell your life story again. Yes. So I'm always like, because I've got this thing and I've got this other thing and they go, you call a hotel and you want, I want this, this, this, this, this and this. And they go, cool, I'll put you through to reservations.

You go, oh. And you go, fuck, I'm so sorry. It's like, I don't want to, I want to call and be like, what do you want me to tell you? But they don't know the answer because they don't know why I'm calling. But like, is it?

But maybe they do. But that's what stresses me out. Hello, a Formula One hotel. Do you want reservations? Or are you looking to be connected to a guest? And you go, reservations? They go. putting you through.

So I actually always feel so much. Imagine calling a hotel in this economy. Yeah, I didn't even know I had fine numbers. Yeah. But like, you know when you call and it goes like, hi, welcome to Formula One hotel. For reservations, press one. Yeah.

For cancellations, press to, I don't, whatever. And you go, oh, I know that I'm going to get put through to someone right now because I've got a problem with my mini bar. I've pressed five because that's mini bar. Whatever. What's the problem? It's empty. Come fill it up.

No one put me Diet Coke in here. Yeah, that's my problem. True or false? Did you, Tony Lodge, say these words in the last week? No. Well, I haven't said the words yet. Oh. Well, I haven't said anything.

I didn't expect to get that drunk in the restaurant, but when I threw up, it wasn't that bad because the food was so nice, the spew tasted good. Have you said that in the last few days? I said that to my close personal best friend. Yeah. Didn't know we were doing that. It's just always a pleasant surprise, isn't it?

It was to hear that. It was a very, well, it was a surprise. Pleasant surprise is probably a bit strong from that side of the room. But it was, and I won't apologize for it. Yeah. No, you shouldn't. Because it was delicious. Both times.

It's as if I got the dinner for half price because I got to enjoy it two times. That's fucked. That's fucked. That's fucked. Maybe they should put that slogan on the front of the restaurant. From here by Mike. So good, you'll enjoy it both times. Nah, that's fucked.

We can cut that out. No, I can stay. But I think that out of the restaurant's marketing, but leave it in our podcast. But yes, anxious about the phone call. I agree. I've lost my wedding ring. Sorry. But every time you say that you've lost it, like it always turns up.

They turn up. So I don't think you've ever lost it. I would like. Oh, five times I have. But, like, I'm up to my sixth ring, but I've probably lost it 10 times. Yeah. So sometimes they reappear and sometimes. Because do you just take them off and not put them back on or whatever?

Yeah. Yeah. I'll put it there. I'll remember that and then I don't. And then you don't. Yeah, no. So far. I'll leave it on that bench there.

I'll get that out of that. I've only, I've got like one place I leave my ring. Is it on your hand? Not, well, I never wear it at home. Right. So two places. Sorry. Yeah.

But like I've got one spot where I leave it out. Like as soon as I get home, might only take it off. Yeah, okay. Maybe I should find a spot for a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe not just the one. Yeah.

New segment, it's called Busting in Tony. Yeah, I'm interested to hear about this. So basically, you get a chance to bust in Tony. What a great prize. Basically, people have sent through their like crazy thoughts. And what was the myth busting? Like, is this myth going to bust Tony? Oh, I can't even remember what it was, but I said,

I'm not feeling busted by that. Yeah. Yeah, so I've leaned in on that and now it's called, are you busting in Tony? I will remind you that the other day I was listening to the pod and we said that we were going to say that more things were bingo loco. Okay. Like in a crazy turn of events,

we were like, we should say that more things are bingo loco. But I love busted in Tony, but bingo loco makes more sense for this. No, but I like Busted and Tony for this. I'm just reminding you that if later I tell you a great fact, you go, God, that is bingo loco. So Tarpers have sent through their things that have made them

kind of like like ponderes and strange and I think now that's feeling busted no but I think that your response is like that is bingo loco say you know let's see how it's see how it goes Chloe Marie. Hi Chloe that's bingo loco no we weren't ready for it yet I wonder if a shark has ever seen me swimming in the ocean and gone mm nah oh that's sad even sharks don't want me Do you think a shark has looked at me? You spent a lot of time in the ocean? I do spend a lot of time in the ocean.

And just going, oh, you wouldn't, would you? Oh, that's like a, that is kind of bingo loco. I am feeling busted by that, but also that might keep me up at night. Like, that's three. How many segments can we call it? God, imagine the opener. I'm busted by being kept up at night. Bingo loco.

That's a really fucked thought. I don't like that at all. Or do you think that the shark was like, she's having so much fun with her friends. I don't want to fuck her day up. Do you know what I mean? Like it wasn't that I don't look delicioso. It was that the shark was like, no,

she looks like she's had a hard life. She's having fun now. I don't want to like... I'll let her list. I'll let her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I hear it. It's bingo loco.

I think sharks have empathy in that way. So the people that do... Do you know I'm thinking about different types of sharks that I think have empathy and not all of them do. No, hammerheads? No. No. Tiger shark also?

No. Great white. Empathy. Yeah. Yeah. They'll test out a little bit, but you know. But a hammerhead, no way. No fucking way.

I think it's because they've got a complex about their looks. And they would. Yeah. They've got a chip on the shoulder. Carly Upton. Do songs? translated into other languages still rhyme. I think about this all the time.

I think about it literally all the time because I'm like, oh, that even, not even just rhyming, but also like the rhythm of a sentence in a song because it is written for that like phrase. I often think about because on YouTube, I believe you can get like, for instance, our show if we wanted to dubbed into other languages. Sure. But I think the puns and the word play. They wouldn't work.

Yeah. Tamara, nice to meet you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I've never met Tamara before. Yeah. Or whatever the translation is might not rhyme.

Yeah. No, totally. And all the puns are like, oh, then they just said words back and forth for a while. Yeah. And it didn't really make me laugh. Like, I just don't get it. I also think that with, you know how with some languages like when things are translated, like the order of the sentence.

is different. Yeah. Like the subject is at the end instead of the, or whatever, I think about that all the time. Have you ever heard of the band Ramstein? No. Like this German metal band.

They German. Didn't, yeah. Didn't get that from the name. Ramstein never been to Germany. You're the most German sounding word of your life. Yeah. Yeah, so they're from Pouquet. And,

but they're this German metal band. And their music is in German and, like, in a sentence, like flick between the two. And the German words like rhyme with English. And so it's really interesting listening to it because they've done both. If only someone I knew had a hot streak on German on Duolingo and could understand. I tried.

Yeah. Tony spoke German in the Frankfurt airport. Thank you so much to saying that. I did. And the lady at customs spoke back to her in German, which was a compliment at first. Yeah. But it really undid the... Got away from me.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I didn't know that much. And then when she started asking more like intimate travel-based questions, I was like, I can ask you for a coffee. Yeah. My name is Tony. Yeah.

I can tell you when my birthday is. And I can tell you in German, the colours of the German flag. Aside from, I'm pretty limited. Just before we let you into the country, what colors are our flag? Yeah, and I would kill at that. Because it is. Schwarz? Yellow and red.

I think red might be wrought. When I got to Heathrow, they said, what are the colours of the English flag? And you have to say it in our language. Yeah. I nailed it. Yeah, that's nice love. You're like, green.

They're like, well, no. You just get it totally wrong. Nikki Collotti. Is it gault? I think yellow is galt. It's no. Schwartz, wrought and gault. Yeah, I was right.

It says gold. Yeah, but it's pronounced galt. well they're fucked that up okay let's not get on the wrong side of anyone when I played volleyball for Australia we played against Germany we got the stats back

and it turns out they were like very efficient and I was just like love to say it and I was like German am I right? Yeah you know and no one really Look at the auto barme

and no one really thought that was funny I would love to drive on the auto bar that's one of my dreams you do every day here what like oh I'd love to drive 200 kilometres as an hour. I do not do that.

When you drove past Charles and I would be the middle finger sticking out. I was going 60, about going to a 40 zone. I was doing the limit. 1,000% you know, I don't speed.

But I would love to go on the auto bar, though, because that would be so fun. Last night I was just deep in TikTok in the middle of nowhere. And they had like... Last night I was on the auto bar. And they had like a GoPro or camera

on the front of like a rally car. Cool. But like... At speed. Speed. Seeing what they see. It's just like... It happens so fast.

Whoa. You can't react to it. Yeah. It is such a skill. Driving like that is such a skill. It's really... Your reflexes just have to be next level. Nikki Collotti.

Hi, Nikki. My brain fizzled out when I found out that you can't touch anywhere on your own reflection in the mirror except the body part that is doing the touching. So you can't with your finger point and touch your shoulder in the mirror. you can only touch the bit that you're touching with. Now, is that bingo loco or is that Nikki just not quite understanding how mirrors work? I'm feeling, I guess, kind of busted by that. Okay.

Because I've never thought about it. But, yeah, I mean, you can point towards it, I guess, but you can't yet touch it. But... That's kept Nikki up at night. But if a mirror is then like two-dimensional. Not like... And what dimensions is like up and down? So we're three.

Up down and back. Around. But like a mirror then... What are the three dimensions? I don't know. But like we're 3D in IRL. Yeah. Yeah.

But when you look into a mirror, everything's flat. Do you know what I mean? So like if you pointed to a photograph, you would be like, that's their shoulder. That's their... So like in a mirror, if you moved your finger around the mirror, like, you know, know? I think I am feeling busted by that, but it's maybe a bit too much to think about. Charles looks very confused.

Charles is not understanding at all. Charles, where are you at in one sentence? I was just thinking, I reckon I could. What was going through right now? Well, it's on a competition. No, and if Charles says he could, then I want to see him try. Charles, go over to the mirror over there and film it with your telephone. And you show me touching something.

Yeah, and I want to see. I'll commentate from over here. Okay, Ryan's watching Charles. So it's not your finger. I'm touching my nose. No, you're not. I am. That's my nose.

It's not touching the mirror. But it is. From my phone, it looks like I'm touching my nose. Yeah, so that's right. Yeah, but yeah, you can't, yeah. You know how Charles is like real smart? And you kind of like, well, everyone's got a floor. Where are we going to find here?

Yeah, and we found it. We found it. Nikki Carlotti. found Charles's floor. Busted in Charles. And what an honour that would be. Yeah. He makes me wear a condo.

Natasha Baton's got one. Hi, Tash. Yeah, this has fucked me right up. Because I'm not good at the English language. So you're feeling busted by Tash. Yeah, this is bingo loco. Oh. If both the words donkey and monkey

finish with O-N-K-E-Y, why do they both sound different? Why isn't it donkey and monkey? I know. It's sickening. Oh, hey, little donkey. Yeah. Or monkey?

Imagine if it was monkey? A little monkey? Like, that's awful. Yeah, but they're the same word. No, I don't understand it at all. I really, English is so hard to understand, eh? What's monkey in German? Monkey in German, I don't know.

Monkey. I'm so sorry. I don't know what it would be. Are you feeling busted by that? I can tell you what cow is in German. Deku. Sorry, say that again. Arthur.

Heifer. Arthur. Monkey. Arthur. Oh, did you want to go to the zoo now or after lunch? You know, Torbs has brought up going to the zoo like a few times recently? Does he want to take Mabel? Oh, he would.

No fucking empty office because he will go. He will take her. Yeah, let's go. Because I don't know. He will take your baby. to the zoo. We might not have explained this clearly enough at the time. But Torbs and Mabel are fucking bros.

Mabel asked the other day, Charles, if Torbs was coming to Fiji. She said his uncle, didn't she? She said his Uncle Alex coming to Fiji. And Ryan was like, we keep calling him Torbs. And she's like, who the fuck is that? Yeah, she's like, no, it's Uncle Alex. Uncle Alex. But they, does the two of them?

What do you want to go to? Or should I come? Oh, I don't. But like, if you offer your. baby like torbs will take your baby to the zoo maybe men torbs will do a lads day with maves at the zoo they would love that what could bridge and i could go do something or not sorry fucking hell the face you just i was like we could do something oh no i wouldn't have thought so yeah okay yeah now i'll come round i'll drop off bridge i'll pick up torbs me is there a wine bar right near the zoo the zoo is

in carlton oh we'll go to car wine bar yeah drop us off there pick us up after. The perfect day. The perfect day. We should do that. But Torbs genuinely, like, he has brought up going to the Silicon Future. And I was, I don't really not like. You got a thing for the giraffe.

He's just kind of like brought it up casually a couple of times. And I'm like, are you? Guys don't casually bring up zoos. Well, that's why I was like, are you telling me something here? Any specific animals? No, just kind of like, oh, well, maybe we've got to the zoo or like. And then we looked at this house, like, because Torbs aren't. in the zoo enclosure, in the line closer?

We were thinking about maybe moving. We aren't going to now. It's too fucking expensive. We're just going to stay put. And he was this house and he goes, well, that'd be great because it's right near the zoo. And I was like, you've never been to the zoo in your fucking life. He actually has been to Melbourne Zoo.

He went with Adam in January when he was here for the tennis. And he wears the bucket hat. He got from the Melbourne Zoo. He wears the Bucket Hat. He got from the Melbourne Zoo all the time. It sounds like your fiancé loves the zoo and you're not. supporting that. But this is what I'm asking.

Is this something I need to like endorse? Yeah. I'll take him to the fucking zoo. You should gift him one of the 12 months things. Because if you go more than two times, it's like, it's free. It works out. Charles knows that because his mom and dad just got it from the entertainment book. And my friend is obsessed with the zoo right now.

No, so we've got a 12 month par so I can go as many times as I want. Bro. If you go twice, it's the, it's cheaper. Yeah. How often do you go? It's far for you guys. Yeah, but he'll sell sanctuary. he's the same one.

It's the same company. Oh, that's, oh, okay, big zoo. I reckon I've got one like, and Werribee. It's all the same thing. So you buy a 12 month part you go to all three of them

as much as you want for 12 months. Actually, everyone shut the fuck up. I'm getting him that for his wedding present. I don't want you. Okay, first of all. Everyone's up to talk up. Talks don't listen to this. First of all, you don't have to get him

or I or us anything. Shut the fuck up. No, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up. I've already ordered your present and now I know what I'm getting Torbs. I'm getting a present.

Yeah. I take it back. Now I want it. Yeah. Oh, well, maybe you don't because is it something that's been mentioned before? Yeah. You're getting a Zoom pass as well.

Now, Torbs is getting a zoo pass. Is it something I reckon I could guess? Here's the thing. You won't guess it. But as soon as I say, you'll be like, fuck, why didn't I guess that? Okay. Can I text Charles as well? Can I text Charles as well?

And all Charles, you just have to say they're the same or they're not the same. Imagine if they are, though. They're not. Sorry, this is a really good podcast, isn't it? Tony, then yours first. Yeah, okay, hang on. I don't want to fuck a surprise though, but I think I know. It's not.

It's not. Do you reckon? I haven't seen what Ryan said. Okay. But like I get that energy. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Different areas, I would say.

Like very different areas? Um, no. Like, oh. What did you say? I said, is it? Oh, do you? Oh, no, I shouldn't say A. I'm not going to say mine.

No, I won't say mine. Maybe that's a clue. Should I text mine to Tony? Should I text mine to you? I thought that it was the fancy knives and forks we had in the. that's Sweden, Airbnb. Do you remember that fancy cutlery? Because Lily said you, you should buy that for a wedding present.

And I was like, that's a cute idea. Check your phone. Is that something I should talk to you beforehand? Well, it sounds like it's already happened. It has. I didn't think that you were going to buy me lingerie for the night of my wedding, but I mean, that's crazy. I don't know if I get to see in it or out of it.

Which it will. Looks good on the floor. Won't be the only sea line. that someone buys for a wedding present. C-line? Well, it was like a zoo pun. Sea lion. I thought you said C-Line.

And I was like, I don't know what you were talking about. Do you mean G-String? You're going to see me lying in those undies. Don't line to me. All right. What are we doing? We're off to the zoo. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I am busted by this. Hi, I'm Bethany-Uradi from Champaign, Illinois, USA. Hi, I'm Sophia from Hamilton. New Zealand. Hi, this is Brandon from Kansas, Sydney, Missouri. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers on a beautiful hump day.

Beautiful hump day. Thank you for joining us last night for our live stream, crafting some signs for Ryan. Ryson's sirens. Write that down. Another idea. I'll go back and make another one. Derby Lewis, will the Derby be you're running at the Derby? Gillian Severin.

Have you watched Severance? No, but I've been told. Are you going to? I think, like I've discussed earlier, and even with the books, how I want someone to jizz in the first sentence, apparently severance is like a slow burn. It's a think.

And I don't think I'm a... I don't think I've got brain space to think, and I don't think I've got time for a slow burn. I just need you to fucking... It's a shame, though, because the art of the show is really... It is that. Like, the enjoyment of it is that there's like,

oh they give you a little tip bit of something it's like not very up front so i think if you didn't feel patient for it then yeah you're not you're not going to enjoy it you also need to put your phone in another century i don't know if this is just like a bit of a cop out no it's like or if other parents will get it but like because we're in the toddler phase yeah it's like pretty full on at home oh and you just fucking go go yeah and so by the time mabel gets down to bed i'm like when i hit play you've got two minutes to hook me. I'm just going to go to bed. Yeah.

I'm so tired. No, I completely understand that. And I've used all my like thinking and energy and I'm like negotiating to get. I'm going to have to negotiate to get to get out of the bar. Yeah. And then I have to think about something. Yeah. No.

I've done my thinking for the day. No. I actually, obviously I'm not in that situation, but I completely understand. But I'm kind of like, it's almost like I need a little save folder and it's like when she's a bit older and it's all good. then I can just like settle right into a show. Well, Severance will always be waiting for you. That's what I mean. She ain't going nowhere.

And I think it's probably something that is worth the way. Rather than trying to like shove it up your own ass because it's popular. Similar. When we went over to the UK, I was going to watch, what's that Leonardo DiCaprio movie that's really good? One battle after another. Oh, I think Torbs watched that on the plane. Well, I was going to watch it on the plane. And I think someone was like, oh, no, like.

You want to settle in. To do it justice, it's not a plane movie. Totally. I think it's the same energy. Yeah. No, I agree. I think it's worth the weight though. But yeah, fuck.

You must just be exhausted every day. Yeah, but my wife's more tired. It's not a competition, but she's more tired. No, no, no, but like you're both doing different stuff. Yeah, but it's not a competition, but she's more tired. Okay. Victoria Stout. Good on in Victoria.

I'm going to try along. Tara Buckman or Bukman. Thanks, Tara. Bill Kahn. Bukoo. Daniel, good on you, Daniel. Amy Plowman. Patricia, got on you, Patricia, Emily Thompson, Michael Scouton and Alicia Riley. Thank you very much. A little exciting little snippety-titty bit for our tarppers in Patreon. Last week we launched something very, very fun and cool, which I think people have probably been seeing on socials.

If you're in the Facebook group, you would have seen it. We launched the TARPA report card where everybody in Patreon can see like their longest streak inside Patreon how many comments that they've left is a bit of like a for legal reasons I can't tell you exactly what it's like but it's a bit like okay um so our house is called tarpa report card because tarpa wrapped got us in a bit of trouble that's okay did it yeah you didn't get us in trouble it could have we went down the line and charles went hey Tony what and I went yeah let's change it type report card's good name um thank you so much I sent Charles 20 options and he would like that.

No, you guys have done good. But it's been really fun and so if you haven't seen it yet, everybody who's ever been in the Patreon. Even if you've gone in and left, you can still see your streak in your background. You'll still be able to log in with your like old account and see your streak and see if you left comments. And it's really,

really cool. And I'm very proud Charles of you for putting it all together. It was really, it's been a really long process. Yep. But it's fucking cool. and seeing everybody share it is so sick. Can you Google how many people work at Spotify?

Just another Swedish music company. Between around 7,300. We have four employees, six including Tony and I. And I think the report card is better than wrapped. Do you know what, Charles? We're taking you to the zoo. Let's celebrate with a chimpan fucking Zee. J-Z

Chimperna through Z we're going to the zoo Amazing Storm's coming No He's never said Never been interested In the zoo

Never shown any interest Yeah So I just don't think He'd want to take the time off work And so like that What animal would you love to see Oh my God Because there's one that you're not going to say

And then after you've been You're going to go How good's that guy Okay I love the mere cuts You know they're like Pogue their heads up I think that's so cute

I'm also like a huge fan of a shark and a whale, which I know that they don't have. There's sea lions and penguins. There's a whole water bit. Yeah, so the water is fine. The sea lions are amazing. I'm just a huge fan of a shark and a whale. Do you want to take Mabel to the aquarium? Bridget's been hanging to go to the aquarium for ages.

The Melbourne Sea Life Aquarium? Yeah. Yes. She won't. She's been trying to get to the aquarium for years. I love the aquarium. Okay. And the Melbourne Sea Life Aquarium is excellent.

Well, I would know. I've never been. Yeah. We keep planning. never quite it works out. We've got a big month ahead, it sounds like. Yeah, zoo. Aquarium.

Rines running. Besides the dark horse, obviously, the monkey with the red butt. Yeah. No. You like that. They come right up to the glass and they're like real chill and fun.

They're almost like when a fist bump you. Yeah, you feel like your bros. Yeah. And like, you never rock up thinking that's my go to, but you always leaving going, what a good.

Were they good? Yeah. Yeah. I also like when the elephants are playing in the mud. Yeah. That makes you want to cry. I just think that they look so happy. And the drafts and the baby drafts are starting.

Oh my God. Yep. We digress. It is a beautiful day. It is Wednesday, which means it's time for hot take Tony. And you'll notice that the crown has had a bit of a birthday. Oh, hello. Thank you.

Someone's been on the genome. Some. Genome. You just met me. On the Jill Singer? Yeah. On the old, uh, that's so funny.

Stitching bits. What's it called? What's it called? Stitchin bitch. I don't know what you're saying. Sowing machine. Yes. It looks good.

Thank you. Yep. This is just textured. Layers. It was already like that. Oh. Yeah, but it's back. Good save. Yeah.

Nice save. It looks like the monkey's butt. It doesn't. What? Same color. Red. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I'll pay that. On a Wednesday we have Hot Tag Tony. That's fun. That noise that this is making. My hot tape is that no one should share a blanket ever. I have said this many times. I am on the record that no one should share a blanket.

Husbands and wives, husbands and husbands, wives and wives, any fucking iteration of a couple, anyone who's just sharing a bed, never ever share a blanket. It is awful. It is disgusting. Why do you say this? Everybody needs their own blanket. I know that I've said this before,

but recently I have been in a situation where I had to share a blanket with someone. And it was Tim in our hotel. And that made me sick. And then I just recently went and bought a new duna. Did you buy it for yourself or for both of you? I bought it for me. Yeah.

Because Torbs and I don't share a duna. Yeah. Torlbs and I haven't shared a duna the whole time we've been together. Randomly, the first time I ever stayed at his house, I think it must have been like winter, and he had two quilts on his bed, and we both had one each. And I was like, yeah, how good that we both get to burrito ourselves up. And since that point, we've never ever shared a duna. So when you go away in a hotel or something?

Yeah, okay. That's an absolute nightmare, because we do have to share it in that. in that situation. And you had to share with Tim. And I had to share with Tim on the weekend. After you spewed up, no, it tasted nice because the food was good. Yep. And then we were in our matching jammies.

Cute. And we were in bed together. And I had to share a fucking blanket with him. Yeah. a throw on a couch with someone. What if you're on a road trip and it's a long drive and it's cold and you're in the back seat and you're just like, oh, let's just chuck the blanket over. Yeah, I'll chuck it over myself because I brought it for me.

This is. I'm very, I'm not selfish about a lot of stuff, but that I am. I just need to wrap it under my feet. I need to feel really wrapped. Report card. But the other day, I went and bought myself a really nice duna. And this sounds like coincidence chat, but Charles and I have accidentally bought the exact same duna.

We didn't mean to... Where did you find out that you liked it? Actually, Charles, where did you find out you like? Who got it first? Yeah, I got it first. I've had mine for like over a year. It's like, I've had mine for about two weeks. Yeah, I used it at Charles's house.

So it is a really fancy duna. But we go into the Adairs. They have this massive sale on. And I was like, I need a new, we need a new duna. I'm like, oh, what size do you need? And I was like, a queen. So Taubs and I have a king bed. And we both have a queen duna.

mathematicians i'll let you figure that out well because it's just we both have a massive duna but you don't a king takes up a bit too much space yeah because then you're contending what is it a fucking well just give me a fucking maxi pad and put on my back right fuck off yeah give me the napkin that's holding up the leg of the table that's a bit short and i'll just go fuck myself with it anyway i go into the adairs and i say i need a new blanket She goes, what size do you need? And I said, queen. She goes, oh, okay, just have a queen bed.

Okay, I was like, well, no, I've got a king bed. That's fine. And she goes, what are you after? And I said, I want something really dense, really heavy. I want duck feather. And I want it to be really high, like, lofty. I want to be, I want to feel low inside of it. Yes.

I want it to be heavy. I want the duna to feel like it's on the first floor. Yes. And I'm sleeping on the ground level. Yes. And it's this tall above. me. Yeah.

I want it to be. That's great. Because I would walk in. They go, what would you want? I went a fucking duna. No, I knew exactly what I was after.

You're a good customer here. Thank you. And she goes, oh, well, something like that is going to be, and I was with Torbs, she goes, something like that is going to be really warm.

Are you, how do you both sleep? And I go, oh, we don't fuck with sharing dunas. Yeah. And she went, oh, I love it. Yeah.

And I went, thank you. Because imagine you come in and say that and he goes, I want something light and breezy, fucking blah, blah, blah. I'd be like, well, don't marry me then. And then this bitch goes, well, how the fuck am I supposed to find you? Like, what are we going to cut two in half and stitch them back together? Do they do that?

No. They should. No, I think you just have to buy two and do what we're doing. And I implore people to do that. Anyway, so I've got this beautiful, really, really hot thick duna now. And it is so beautiful. It's like I'm in a sauna every night. I absolutely love it.

I just kick a little leg out. Yeah. And that cools me down. Or if you lift a leg and just let the air. Yeah. And Tobbs, though, he's still with his summer duna and he's fine. Great. But we're both burritoed up.

Pippa comes under my little blanket because she likes the sauna as well. I know, like, we have some safe spaces and, like, we're friends and we tell stuff. But has their best friends. Thank you. I was out with Tim on the weekend. Oh, it was so much fun. I'd share, I've shared a bed with you. I actually don't think I have.

I don't think we've ever shared a bed together. Like, except for just like, fucking. but not sleeping. Like we've been in bed together but don't think we've ever slept in the same bed. It's probably for the best. We, neither else is getting in his sleep.

Yeah. You know how some people sleep talk? I sleep fuck. I sleep talk. I sleep so. I sleep hand job. Well, it's funny you bring up the H word during the summer of the hand job.

Yeah. Because. And it's why I brought up the movies. It's why I brought up the movies. That's why I brought up the count. That's why I brought up the backseat. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. That blanket has two purposes in life.

Yes. One is to keep you warm while sleeping. Whatever. The other is to hide the fact you're getting a sweet wristy. Yeah, no, it's so true. Now, we had back in my day, all the friends knew, oh, that's the hand job blanket. Like, we all knew which one it was. And so if someone was like, oh, like, let me chat to this.

girl can you chuck us the blanket yes oh good bro oh I'm not quite done yeah oh sorry man sorry but you pass over when you done so when you say like I don't like sharing a blanket I go well no wonder there's no one in your life getting risties because where the fuck is that gonna happen where the fuck is that going to happen should I call dave parsons hand job blanket my hot take now is so insignificant now that I'm learning about a hand job blanket Dave Parsons has a real job. He's not going to be able to talk to us. You can try and call him, but he's not going to answer.

No, I'm a wet like he'll get on the site. On the site, you know. Lats. He's probably using the handjob blanket at work. Yeah. On the big build. Okay. A handjob blanket.

That's crazy. What I'm observing is someone who's anti-sharing blanket is also anti-hand job. And I go, well, of course. Oh, the Venn diagram adds up. or a dut, yeah, like, yeah. Whereas there's people who are pro sharing blankets are probably getting more hand jobs. Can I say, though, that it does, it's like, it sounds like we're very separate.

If there was a situation, you know, Tubs just like come over to my house for a bit or I just go over to his house for a bit. So here's the thing, because I... Come into my cocoon. Sometimes I get a bit like, wriggly in bed and I'll like... No, like, I'm actually just a bit restless or whatever. You are, yeah. And so I'll like go sleep in the spare and.

room or something because I don't want to wake up. Use the hand job blanket. Sorry. I don't want to be an annoyed. And I'm like, oh, if I'm wriggling, I'm annoying. And so. And because Bridge sleeps in like dead silence. Dead sign.

And I'm like, I want to be in the old music on the fan on. Yeah. Yeah. A. You say on minus 20. Yes. And for me, the concept of having separate rooms would just be like, oh, what a joy. No, that I actually have zero against a separate room or a separate bed or whatever.

But then, and apparently it's more common than you think. And there's a lot of people. And but what about sexy time? It's like, well, you're not banned from the other person's room. Yeah. And it also kind of feels exciting. Yeah,

when you go, yeah, it feels like a sleepover. I thought, Hey, do you want to come over tonight? Yeah. For a bit.

Yeah. Yeah. Until I finish, then I'll finish. Yeah. Fucking go back tomorrow. You know what I'm saying. But I think it's just as fun and whatever.

No, I don't associate separate rooms or separate blankets with no sex life. Yeah. No, totally. I think it has a real stigma of that. Mm. But I draw.

the line, sneaky HJs happen in close proximity in blankets. Well, you just said that you want that? Yeah, and I do. Yeah. So do you guys have a blanket on your couch? Yep. That blanket I touched at the other night, almost snapped in art. That's gross.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're coming on that a lot. Yeah. Like semi-regularly. Yeah. Okay. I don't, oh, no, I can.

Not all good. What? I was going to say, I can't remember the last. time I had sex in our lounge room. Like that feels crazy, but I can. It was like a week ago. Hang on. What's happening to your couch?

No, that is not related. That is not related. I've got a story about one of my friends. They are currently getting their couch steam clean because of all the stains. It's from... Anyway, I got to you love to see it here. Oh, this is the fucking best you love to see it. My love to see it is...

The steam cleaning isn't... is the share price of the couch cleaning business I bought going through the roofing reservoir. Yeah, you're in the red. And in finance today, mining is down, finance is flat, and couch cleaning is up 4,000%. We love seeing a tarpa in the wild, a tarpa, Tony and Ryan podcast, after you're a fan. If you listen, if you watch, you're a tarpa. We love having you part of our community. It's great.

And when you see another tarper in the wild, especially where you didn't expect to see one. Especially. But when you're not expecting or just like, fuck, there's just the last place I thought I'd see Tapa. I love bumping into Tarpers. It's my fave. So, and I just love to see this.

The other night, I'm on a Zoom call with the Nillambic Council. About your bin? No, because it's like information evening for Kinders. So if you've got a kid that's three or four, you're going into Kinder. It's sort of like... Sorry, I'm just thinking that you're on a Zoom with the fucking president of the Normit Council.

But back in the day, you would all like go into the thing. And now they go, hey, if anyone's got any questions about Kinder, how does it work? What's the best age to start? Where's the best ones? Sure. We're doing a Zoom call. Everyone's welcome.

Here's the Dietz. Log in and ask all your questions and we'll teach. Is that good, though, for someone who doesn't love Small Talk? So for me, I'm like, no, I want to go to the school and I want to meet everyone. Oh, but so it's just, I probably just wouldn't have gone. at all. So true. We put Mabel down and then I'm like, oh, we just log on and have a look.

And you just have it playing in the background. Like you don't have to, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And so, and it's not like for this kinder. It's like the whole council. And it's like, yeah, and there's 20 different kinders. Here's the difference.

And blah, blah. And so I log on. And little did I know how many taffas were going to be on this Millenbic Kinder Zoom call. That's because Charles posted it. Yeah. No, but then so then people are DMing me on Instagram. being like, I'm on this Zoom call with you.

That is so funny. One of the DMs was like, after all you've said about the bins, your brave show and your face on this call. No, and I got that DM. And I imagine they're DMing me and they're seeing me go, you know, fair. Yeah, it is fair. And then this fuckhead.

Fuckhead from the council. No, no, no. Like some parent who's a fuckhead is being a bit of a jerk in the, chat? To who? To the person running it? What the fuck? Yeah, and it was a bit like,

oh, well, my kid fucking... I like that you've added that voice for editorial. And then the Tarpers are DMing me going, can you believe this? Get a load of this, asshole. And I said, right? And they go, I wanted to... Because when you're on Zoom,

you know how you can text one person? Yeah, but it's too risky. Too risky. I wanted to message you in the chat personally, but I couldn't risk. Nah, you can't fuck with that. I didn't want to message the whole Zoom going. I fuck with that less than I fuck was sharing a blanket.

That's crazy. But she was like, I didn't want to put in case I accidentally sent to everyone, this guy is a fuckhead. And then so she's DMing me and I go, what the fuck is this going on about? So we're having this chat. I'm DMing this person about the bitch. We had four separate Taffirs,

DM me on Instagram that were also in the Nillambic parents' Kinder Call. Tafers in the wild. You loved it. Like four separate. And they're only the ones who DMs, by the way, four. Yeah. So do you reckon, though, that all their kids are going to, like,

they're the same age as Maple then? They are all the same age. Because the idea, I think, of this call was like, we're enrolling now and we're all going to Kinder next year. Next year, she's in Kinder. Yeah. That's crazy. I remember when you were pregnant.

Like, that's so wild. Yeah. When you were pregnant. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. But I love to see Tarpers in the Wild on Zoom calls of local council. That's awesome. That's fucking sick.

I love to say that too. I've got you love to see it here from Little Peaches, stage name, very hot and slutty. So Little Peaches and I have been friends on Patreon for a little while. And she opens this with, let's talk about my slutty career. I'm a disabled burlesque performer from Australia but based in England. I'm a wheelchair dancing slut who has cheated. My favourite kind. Yeah.

And I, so I know Little Peach as well because we chat a lot. lot and so it's just so funny that she calls herself a wheelchair dancing slut. A wheelchair dancing slut. Because I just love it so much. A fucking sleigh bitch. Three of my favourite words put together. Who has stripped all over the world. 13 countries so far, Little Peaches has stripped in.

Isn't that fucking unreal? She says, I haven't had the confidence to dance for the last year. She's stripped in more countries than you've had hot dinners. Yeah. And like a sign or something. Yeah. I haven't had the confidence to dance for the last year. basically she lost someone in her life

who she had a really complicated relationship with and so she's like I just want to feel like a hot slut again I want to get back in the ring but then it's like the longer you stay out or something the harder. Absolutely She said I thought I'd share one of my acts with you as I step back into the world and don't worry it's not

too risque all my pink bits are covered no pressure to watch it but little peaches act called Warrior I've got the YouTube link we can pop it up on the thing if you want have a look. Is it safe for work? Well, I, she does say it's not too risky because she's covered up, but it's hot. Oh, yeah, Charles has just hit play. So that's Little Peachers. She's a Tapper.

Fuck yeah. Isn't that so fucking sick? She's hot as fuck. So cool. Anyway, so if you want to have a look and support Little Peaches, we would love to see it. She also has an Instagram, Little Peaches Burlesque, if you want to have a look, we can pop the link there too. But put on your. for trying to get back into it, something that you love and brings you so much joy.

I love to see that. We should all be doing things that make us feel like a hot slot. Do you reckon she's got a blanket? I think she'd share it with you. Thank you. And so would I and so with Charles. Thank you. Yeah, Charles and I are using the same blanket at the moment.

Have a great day, everyone. Good luck to you with whatever you're doing today. Good luck to those couch cleaners. They're going to need all the fucking help they can get. And we'll chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye. It's really unfortunate timing. Love him.