Toni and Ryan - Your Customer Service Voice

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Jonathan Fawkes. What about Jonathan Knives? Welcome. If this is your first ever time listening to the podcast, fucking strap yourselves in. It only gets worse. That's what you get to look forward to. Do you reckon he's a Jono, a John, a Johnny? Big J. Or a full Jonathan? You're going with Big J? Oh, hello Jonathan.

Let's see how he answers. I'll go hello Jonathan. Bleep blop.op, boop. Bleep, blop. Bop, boop. Hello. Hello, Jonathan. Jonathan, Tony and Ryan, how are you doing?

I'm good. How are you all? We're good. We were wondering whether you do a Johnny or a Big John or a Jonathan. Like, what do you go by? I go by Jonathan. I've never been a big fan of John because I'm not like a bathroom because, you know, like a port-a-john.

Oh, yeah. It's very random. Yeah. G'day, potty. Oh, so I always got called Dunny as a child because my name's Ryan John Dunn. So my real name is like Ryan Toilet Toilet. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. done. So is my real name Ryan Toilet Toilet? We're going to call someone else.

Yeah, I don't use the word Ryan because it means toilet. Toilet Toilet Toilet. Jonathan, will you approve today's episode? Absolutely. Sorry, that's done, Tony. Toilet Toilet Toilet. Absolutely. Sorry, that's not tiny.

Toilet, toilet, toilet. Hey, this is Jonathan from Santa Monica, and I approve this podcast. Happy New Year coming up today. You might remember us chatting about the yada yada or lack of yada yada. Well, that video has been seen by like millions of people, including my boyfriend, and he still can't get a fucking clue. So that's coming up soon. Okay.

Wow. Strapped myself in, I guess. First of all, normal or nah, people submit these. Oh, fuck yeah. Are we doing normal or nah? Just get the shit out of me. Yeah. Yep, it's a Thursday, mate.

Yes. Fire up. People submit these in the Tony and Ryan Podcast Facebook group. Thank you very much. And thank you very much to Fiona who sent this through. Fiona. Hi, Fiona. Fiona asks, normal or nah, your customer service voice is so much higher than your normal voice.

I work in retail and I keep catching myself mid-greeting being right up there. Yeah. And then as I realize, says Fiona, I like throughout the conversation, like try to slowly nonchalantly like bring it back down. Yeah. Normal or nah? Completely normal. And I feel like you're baiting me here. No, I would never.

When most people talk about a customer service voice, it's them providing the customer service, whereas I do the customer service voice when I'm receiving. When you're the customer. When I'm just customer. Yeah, you're Antonio's customer. And it's excruciating. Because I just really want to be, like, nice.

Because I know that sometimes people can get a little bit tiddly and grinkly with customer service people. So I just really want to be, like, not a highlight of their day. I wouldn't say that. The fact that those words are so readily available to you in this time. That's the first thing I thought of. I was at Officeworks earlier.

I was a highlightist. But the thing is, thank you, that deserved a bigger laugh, I feel, and like sooner. Yeah, it took me a while. Sooner. Officeworks highlighter. Oh, she's meant that. Yeah, okay.

I see what she's done there. No, sorry, it took me a while. Okay. But it's warming up. That's all right. Yeah, yeah, it's a Thursday. It's the end of the week. Yeah, on the dip on the way down.

But, yeah, you do have to slowly phase the pitch up, down, because it's like when you kind of like half commit to an accent. Am I doing this now? Yeah, like you kind of go like, hello, how are you? And then they go, oh, you're good. And you go, I've done such a good job. They think I'm English. And now I have to slowly go, yes, I'm very well.

So today I need, and they kind of go, what? And then you go, a little bit of fruit. Like you've got to go back into it. Thank you so much. I'm back here. First of all, Tony, can I get you, say I'm the customer. Yeah. Oh, so I'm working.

You're working. Yes. A JB Hi-Fi. Oh, no, but I think that's more of a cool it. No, that's not right for this. It's not. Maybe a library. Yeah. I'm too JB Hi-Fi. Oh, no, but I think that's more of a cool it. No, that's not right for this. It's not. Maybe a library. Yeah, no.

I'm too loud for a library. I want, Tony and the library is a. Cole's Deli. Cole's Deli. Okay. I want to hear you at the, say I've come into the deli and I go, oh, I'm doing like a grazing board. Oh, beautiful.

What's. How many people are you thinking? No. Okay. Sorry. Let's start the interaction. Six or seven people. But I just want you to give me the speech as if I've said what's good

and you're kind of taking me through what's good on the deli. But I want you to start high, realise you're too high, and then through the description bring it back down. Okay. Hi, how are you going? Yeah, absolutely. So with this salami, I would suggest that you go with a bit more per person. That was good.

That's probably how I would do that. Sun-dried tomatoes? Oh, yeah. Go with the oil. Don't worry about the fat-free. That's what I would say. Do you want to know a fun fact? Always.

What I was about to say. Oh, I've got an itchy ear. The slope in how you did that was perfect, like a beautiful curve. I'm a curvy woman. That's why you're so good at this. I'm so good at this. In economics that I'm learning this week. I don't know how you're doing that.

My lecturer is Turkish and he's awesome. But there's a lot of talk about slopes. But he says slops because of his accent. And he's like, oh, that's a great slop. All this slop. Yeah, and I'm just like, every time he says that, I'm his accent. And he's like, oh, that's a great slop. All this slop. Yeah, and I'm just like, every time he says that, I'm like, what? Yeah, what are we doing? Are we still on economics?

Back to customer service chat. This, like, I didn't realise this was going to open fucking so many cans of worms. When you say, like, people who work in customer service deal with a lot of bullshit and you want to, like, try and flip that. Yeah. I know what you're going to say. No, no, no, but this is, I've actually just,

the Olsen twins have brought me closer to realising the difference between the two of us. You know I've been talking about the Olsen twins a lot this week? Sure. One of them said, do you know what the difference between the two Olsen twins is? I think I was telling Phoebe this the other day. Okay.

So someone says to the Olsen twins, oh, how do you know you and your sister are different? She goes, oh, well, she thinks the opposite of being on fire is being in water. Whereas I think the opposite of being on fire is not being on fire. Yeah. So for us, right? Yep. So we try to counteract the shit customer.

And you think the opposite of a shit customer. Is being really nice. And I think the opposite is like, oh, he was really memorable because he was annoying and my opposite is I can't even remember him. Fly under the radar. Yeah. Yeah. That's how we're different.

Yeah, that is. I think that is actually. Was that a longest walk ever for the least shit water ever? But I think that actually is true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we're both trying to do the opposite.

I like to be memorable in a nice way, but you just like people to forget. Well, it's like you've got enough to deal with, so I don't want to be another one. I'll just be, see, nah, like do you know what I love at a, like, restaurant or a checkout? I love to gossip about the assholes. So if someone before me, like, is really rude, I go, what was his problem?

And they go, tell me about it. I love it. I am an arsehole dealt with sympathiser. So when they've had the arsehole in front, they go, I'm so sorry about that. How long that took or whatever. And I go, no, not your fault. That is good. And like, so I'm like, I saw it.

That's all. I'm on your side. Yeah. I'm on your side. Yeah. Yeah. But that, sort of like, I saw it. That's all. I'm on your side. Yeah, I'm on your side. Yeah, yeah. But that's what you got to do, I reckon. Oh, what was his problem? What was their problem? You know?

Bit of that. Or, I tell you what I love, and ironic, because like, it's like, we both know what we've just seen. You're at work. I'm not an arsehole. So we're not going to make a big deal of it. So I walk up and go, you having a good day at work? And they go, right? And I go, yeah. Anyway, just an arm an arsehole, so we're not going to make a big deal of it. So I walk up and go, you having a good day at work? And they go, right.

And I go, yeah, anyway, just an arm and cap. Thanks, man. Yeah, nasty. One of my favourites is like on the way out and you go, hope not everyone's like that. Like as you're leaving, like, oh, hope your day gets better than that guy. You know? Tomorrow when we go and get a coffee before the show,

you'll forget about this, but I'm telling you what I'm going to do to you. I'm going to let you order first and then I'm going to come up after you and go, sorry about her. Even though I know you're going to be uber polite and uber friendly, I'm going to go, hope we're not all like that, right? Except I know that the girl at the cafe is going to be like, what? Yeah, no, she loves you. It's fucking, I hate it.

Normal or nah asks Heidi Bailey. Sorry, we're still on Fiona. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's what she said. Guys, get off. Yeah, Fiona got her money's worth. Normal or nah asks Heidi Bailey. Hi, Heidi Bailey.

Not drying yourself in the bathroom. I get out of the shower, pop the towel on, and then walk into the bedroom, whereas my partner fully dries himself in the bathroom before he comes out of the bathroom. Why would I... And I'm actually going to have to ask you to not comment at the end of this. Okay.

Why would I want to dry myself in a room that's designed for getting wet? The bathroom is getting wet. Why would I want to get dry in there as well? Let me read that again. The bathroom is for getting wet. Why would I want to dry myself in there as well? Says Heidi Bailey. Okay.

I'm on Heidi's partner's site. Yeah, same. Because wet footprints. And, you know, like, because as you walk from the shower into the bathroom or whatever, sorry, as you walk from the shower out of the bathroom into your bedroom, like, wet little pad footprints. But also, like, what? Yeah.

You start drying. What, do you wet yourself outside with the hose before you go into the bathroom? You're like, you're only allowed to be wet in there. Yeah. You can't enter dry. You start drying. What, do you wet yourself outside with the hose before you go into the bathroom? You're only allowed to be wet in there. Yeah. You can't enter dry. You know? And I mean, we're all learning something, aren't we?

We're all in there. I think Heidi, mate, someone needs to sit you down. That's way off. She's probably gone, my partner's a dickhead. I'll ask Tony and Ryan and she was not expecting to find out that she's the dickhead. I just can't imagine not drying yourself off after having a shower. Yeah.

So you get to the bathroom, your bedroom, then what? Then you're wet in there. You're standing soaking wet on the carpet. Yeah, oh, and the little fibres on your feet. Like the bits of carpet that stick to you. Yeah, then you have to go have a shower again. And you're probably going to get mould under the carpet. The first few steps.

Yeah. All right, here's a personal normal or nah. Okay, personal normal or nah. Settle this for my wife and I. Oh, no. So in our en suite, shower, toilet, sink, blah, blah, blah. Yep. Standard fare. Standard fare.

Standard fare. Yep. Bridget is like always has socks on in the house, sleeps in socks. She's a sock wearer. Yeah. And so she'll walk to the bathroom in the night or any time in the day. To do away or go into the bathroom or whatever. I'm aware, yes.

Yeah. Aware of. But the way that you were like, she walks into the bathroom. I'm like, well, yeah. Yes, aware of. But the way that you were like, she walks into the bathroom, I'm like, well, yeah. So she gets real fucked off because she stands with her socks on wet and then her socks get wet.

And because when I get out of the shower, you know, you've got to reach for the towel. It's only a small little ensuite. And I was like, it is a bathroom. There's tiles on the floor because it is a room for being wet. bathroom, there's tiles on the floor because it is a room for being wet. Like if like, I feel like I shouldn't have to keep the bathroom completely dry. A hundred percent complete of the time.

I have been there when this has occurred. Did it make you feel awkward? Um, mom and dad were fighting. It was a bit like that, but that's okay. Like, mate, we're family. Said it all before. The thing that I have a question about is that like, I agree with you. It is a room like that, but that's okay. Like, mate, we're family. Said it all before. The thing that I have a question about is that, like, I agree with you. It is a room for being where. But, like, do, question, do you have a bath mat?

Yeah, but the problem is, is that the towels, it's probably like, it's a full step out of the shower. Yeah. And so it's like that one step. But do you step onto a bath mat, though? Well, it's sort of, the shower's not like a closed, it's like that one step. But do you step onto a bath mat though? Well, it's sort of, um, the shower is not like a closed, it's like, you know, there's just like a wall, it's like a walk-in shower. So there's no like specific line of when the shower ends and the rest of the bathroom starts.

Okay. All right. So it's a zoning issue. It's a zoning issue. Is what we're dealing with here. Um, I would call the council and ask them to come out and measure something up. Is it straight legal? Maybe do a second bath mat.

We have in our en suite two bath mats because there's like the spot where you would naturally step out of the shower to like stop and get your towel. And then there's like the other side in front of the mirror where like you would kind of. You stand and look at yourself naked. Well, where you would stand and like actually dry yourself because then you're not as close to the shower still.

A second bath mat. So we do a second bath mat. Have a listen to it, folks. I am the clumsiest person alive. You think I can walk around with just stray water? Also because when I'm standing on a bath mat, Pippa is laying on the other one. That's a kerfuffle I didn't see coming.

It's for comfort actually for all of us. So Pippa watches you in the shower? Yeah, she just like laying there and she just sleeps. That's a kerfuffle I didn't see coming. It's for comfort, actually, for all of us. So Pippa watches you in the shower? Yeah, she just, like, lay in there and she just sleeps. And then she's like, oh, yeah, mum's out of the shower now. Yep, I'll sit on the bed while she's, like, so she's always close by. Okay, second bath, man. Okay.

Yeah. Finally, Rachel asks, normal or nah? Hi, Rachel. My man washes his bits in the sink after taking a piss at home and in public and he thinks it's normal. Do yourself a favour. Do not sip that coffee. I'm going to pop that down. Yeah, thank you.

Please help us settle this debate. I need a minute. Yeah, same. Actually, I will take a sip. So after, if you have a penis, when you do a wee, like at the urinal, right, you're standing up, you're doing a wee, and then you, like, don't need toilet paper after you do a wee, right?

No. But you do need to shake. Give a little shake so that, like, nickies don't need toilet paper after you do a wee, right? No. But you do need to shake. Give a little shake so that you like, nickies don't get wet, right? First of all, never, ever use that phrase again. You little nickies. No, just to make sure it's all out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

For that purpose, but just don't. So do you ever feel like after you've had the little shake that you're like, oh, this needs a rinse? Because I can't. No. No. I don't think so. So washing it in the sink, I mean, like, nah.

If we're going normal or nah, nah. Only because, like, I wash my face in the sink. I don't want to be washing my face where. I thought you were going to say something. No, no, no, no. But, like, so what I'm supposed to just put, like, and I'm brushing my teeth and that's where, like, no. But like so what I'm supposed to just put like and I'm brushing my teeth and that's where like your penis is like what you've decided is like

a dirty penis that needs a rinse. But also in public that is like public indecency. What are you just getting your – putting your penis in the sink in a public bathroom? Have I ever sat you down and told you my undisputable rules of life? Does sound like you. Don't put your penis in a sink. Is that one of them?

Top three. Let me guess wrong. So I know that the first one is never ask anyone if they're pregnant, even if the baby's coming out. Never assume someone is pregnant. Yeah. Even if the baby's coming out. If you can see the baby coming out, that's maybe the-

Still ignore it. Okay. You can't control other people's actions, but you can control how you react. Beautiful. Find humbleness before humbleness finds you. Don't question the word. Okay. And fourth, never wash a dick in a sink at a cafe.

But like the sink is normally, like, visible. For me, the issue is someone else walking in and there's a guy with his dick in the sink. That is the... When you say, oh, hygiene, I was like, yeah, hey, stay clean, bro. But maybe find any other way. I think, like, if you're doing it at home, that's your home. But it's also a bathroom you're sharing.

But, no, but, like, in public, like, yeah, if you walked in to go to the bathroom and there's someone with their, like, that is not okay. I don't know why my mind's gone here, but in my mind, I'm at like the football at a stadium and there's heaps of blokes pissing and there's this one guy with his dick in the sink. Well, I would assume he's pissing in the sink if I saw that. Probably. Yeah.

Or maybe you go, oh, like it's so packed. Of course, like maybe you really had to go. But it's empty. Like the urinals are empty and he's at the sink and you go, okay. Hey, this is Jonathan from Santa Monica and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That's Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. They enjoyed a little live stream with us on Monday morning.

Breakfast at Tony's Fanny, was it? Well, I tried to make a pun about breakfast at Tiffany's and turn it into like Tonyfies, but the way I wrote it, it wrote breakfast in Tony's Fanny, was it? Well, I tried to make a pun about breakfast at Tiffany's and turn it into like Tonyfies, but the way I wrote it, it wrote breakfast in Tony's Fanny. Yeah. And I said, you can't dine in, but you can eat out. And I enjoyed that. Yeah. The pun, not the word.

The pun, yeah. Kelly was hopefully someone that was there watching. Jacob Beale, Clarkie, Shannon Cave, Atlas S, and Lauren Shackleton. Good on you guys. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon. Everyone in Patreon besides Tony is playing Tony Bingo. Oh.

And this isn't a bad thing. No, I know. I like it. We all know you so well that we've all voted on the top 16 things we think you're going to do this year or say. And then as you do or say them, we're ticking them off. Okay. Now, I've put the official bingo card up.

If you join Patreon, you can see it right at the top. It's a pinned post. All tiers. All tiers. Everyone's welcome. Some chat when I posted it was like, oh, and what are we going to do next week? Because she won't last a few days. There is chat that once you complete the bingo that you get to host Ryan Bingo next.

I don't know if that's going to be next week, next month, or next year, but whenever it happens. But of the 16, we are three days in. We have definitely ticked off one of them. Because everyone said last week, oh, I just heard. Oh, are you telling me what they are? Should I say what they are when they've been ticked off? Yeah, I think so.

Once you've done it, I'll say what you've done. Okay, so I don't know what's on the bingo card. I don't know what people suggest it. Like I actually have no idea. All Tony knows is that a bingo card exists. Yeah. As soon as everyone found out that Torb's got his license, so many people last week were like, oh, she's going to become a passenger princess. Um, as soon as everyone found out that Torb's got his license. Yep.

So many people last week were like, oh, she's going to become a passenger princess. Oh my God. I love that people know me that well. I'm surprised. I was the opposite. I thought, cause you like driving. Yeah, I do. I was surprised, but everyone picked it and they were right. So if I can take that one right off and, um.

So I'm one down already. Yeah. And what happened when you came to work today? When you arrived? I fell one down already. Yeah, and what happened when you came to work today, when you arrived? I fell up the stairs. Would you count that as, do you fell over? I didn't go all the way down. How far, what?

Okay, so I was coming up the stairs. I tripped on the stairs and, like, broke my fall with, like, my bag and my drink bottle. So your drink bottle hit the ground that you're- It was carpeted stairs. Yep. So like everything's safe.

You can't just rock up and not make an entrance, can you? No. And the office was full. A lot of footy boys here today. Like there was like 10 people more than there normally is in the morning. And they all looked and were like, oh, first time on stairs. I did hear that actually. Which is pretty funny.

I think the fact that there was multiple people around, enough for someone and you fell enough for someone to comment on it and make a joke about it. Okay. If that's how we're judging it, then yeah, I guess then I did fall over this morning. But it wasn't a good fall though. I mean, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to fall over many times again, but I will

officially tick off trips over in public and then in capital letters again. Oh, I feel uttered by this bingo. Um, I wish that was one of it. Complains about bingo. Or goes, no. So two from 16 ticked off. Oh, no. What are you going to do next week?

We're still yet to decide what our, like, I guess, reward or prize or, like, celebration is going to be when we get to the end. But that's all happening in Patreon at the moment. I mentioned earlier that I've got a Yada Yada round two. Yeah. Bring us up to date with the original beef. So my boyfriend, like, plays games online with his friends a lot.

Pretty soon I go to bed really early. So Torbz, like, stays up and plays games. All of his mates are in Perth as well. So they're, like, two or three hours behind. So it's, like, really perfect. Anyway, and one night he was like playing video games. Then the next day he's like, oh, like such and such broke up. And I was like, what?

And he goes, yeah, six months ago. And I was like, you talk to this person every day. And he was like, yeah, like, you know, yes, they broke up. Like, yeah, you know, yada, yada. And I was like, no, like what are the details? I don't know. And he was like, I didn't askada. And I was like, no, like what are the details? I don't know. And he was like, I didn't ask him. And I was like, are they okay?

Like what did they say about it? Like all this stuff. Well, his internet connection still works. He was gaming, all right, so I guess everything's fine. Well, yeah, like that's pretty much it. And I was like, no, I never did. They were together for a while. It happened a while ago.

Why didn't you know this? Anyway, and so not my complaint, not my complaint, but my beef and my worry was like, why aren't these boys talking about more stuff? Anyway. Boys don't talk. But like. Keep it real light, keep it real bright.

But I just don't know how there isn't a natural inclination. So I did see some comments on the original video like, oh, well, men just don't gossip like women do. And I was like, it's not even gossip. It's more just like, are you all right? Like, are you okay? Do you need to talk about it? Like, is everything?

It's not, I didn't mean it in a gossipy way. Oh, man, you don't need to defend yourself. It's more like, your best mate's just broken up. Do you want to head around there and maybe see if everything's all good? Well, yeah, or maybe go, oh, bro, like, we're playing right now, but like, I'll give you a call on my way home from work tomorrow. Or I don't know. Anyway, so like I mentioned, a lot of our friends are in Perth.

Yeah. And in Melbourne right now, the tennis is on. You! Doesn't Melbourne come alive? The city's busy. People are out at night. It's like really awesome. Australian Open, AFL Grand Final week.

I'd say maybe starting to be the Grand Prix is that's getting popular again. Oh, that is getting popular, yeah. But I feel like those are the three weeks of the year where you're like, oh, there's celebrities in town. There's shit going on. People from out of state. I'm betting now that you've got the new house, that spare room's getting a workout.

Oh, tennis on, Tony. I'm going to come and crash you. You guys don't have a spare room, do you? Well, funny that you should mention that because we've had a few friends reach out from like our mate Franco who used to work with us. He's in Wollongong and he's like, oh, I'm down

for the tennis. Do you guys want to have dinner? I've got another mate coming from Sydney for the tennis. He's like, oh, we'll grab brekkie that day or whatever. Yeah, so it's kind of like a busy old time. But Torbs' best mate Adam messages him a few months back and goes, I'm going to come for the tennis. I would love to, like, see you guys and see the new house.

We're like, mate, of course. How exciting. Like, we love having people stay, and especially with the house, it's kind of like we've got a bit more space. Yeah, like we want to kind of. Show it off. We're really proud of it and we want people to come around and see it. And we're like, oh, of course, man, how exciting.

So that's like eight weeks ago or something. And then six weeks, yes, that was like eight weeks ago. Six weeks ago, I'm like, oh, so when is he actually coming? Like what are the dates? Like is he staying with us the whole time? Like what's the go? I mean, like what are the dates? Like is he staying with us the whole time? Like what's the go?

This is someone who's flying five hours to come here, right? Yeah, and you know what? All fair questions. Thank you. All fair questions. And would you also say, I hate to be Ryan, but is it fair to say that like six weeks, that is like a fair amount of time to assume that people would have like the major details, major details worked out, like what dates you're coming

because you've probably already booked your flight because it's an expensive time to come to Melbourne because of the tennis. Well, before I get on my high horse, it's fair to say, are we getting on Alex's case for not prepping or are we on Torb's case for not prepping or are we on Torb's case for not asking? So I was. And I will accept both as an answer.

It was more like not asking for more details because I'm like, oh, don't you want to know when he's coming? So Alex goes, I might come around this weekend. And you go, great. And then this weekend's here and you're like, when's he getting here? And you're like, haven't spoken to him in six weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so like six weeks ago I asked like about the dates

and Torbs goes, oh, I'm not sure. And I go, all right. So like I'm guessing Adam knows, but you just don't know yet. Fair enough. Like six weeks ago, like I would know. Because if someone said, can I come and stay, I would go, when? What time's your flight arrive? Can I make sure that I'm, like, not working on the day?

Maybe I'll block out my calendar for the day or the afternoon or something. Where do we need to drop you off? What day have you got tickets to the tennis? What time do the gates open on the day you have tickets? Thank you. Like, it's more just so that I can play because if I'm like, oh, well, you're at the tennis, I'm not going to be like, Adam's going to be here.

I'm going to be like, okay, I can do something else that day or whatever. Anyway, fair enough, six weeks ago. Four weeks ago I asked. Oh, I don't know. Three weeks ago I asked. Oh, I don't know. Two weeks ago I asked. And he goes, yeah, I don't know.

Would you say the demeanour in which you asked changed over the time? Were you getting slightly more rushed or slightly a bit more agitated or a bit more direct? I was more just like, oh, do you have those deets from Adam? And Torbz goes, no, I don't know. And I go, oh, okay. And then I'm like, fuck, I need to remember to follow that up. So where are we at?

He arrives tomorrow? So a week ago I asked, okay, what's the deal? Torbz goes, I don't know. I think he gets here Friday morning. So like tomorrow, right? And then he goes. Cracks appearing in Tony tomorrow, right? And then he goes, fuck. Cracks appearing in Tony's patient demeanour. He goes, fuck, I should probably book the day off.

And I'm like, mate, are you joking? Anyway, find out when he's coming so that you can book. Like your best night's coming. Surely you want to like go and get food and like all do shit together. And it's really beautiful weather. So I'm like, find out what days he's at the tennis so he can do stuff on the other days. Yeah.

Anyway, find out when he's coming first. Like, don't you want to, anyway, you talk to him every fucking night. Like, how has this not come up? When I asked, has the demeanor changed? Now you know what I'm talking about. So I take matters into my own hands. Sounds like it. And I send, so this is last week.

You go direct to the source. And I just send a message to our group chat, so Torbs, Adam and I. Yeah. So the three of us were in it and I said, Torbs knows nothing. Can someone give me some fucking information? What's going on? And Adam goes, oh, you need the yada yada. Like I'm actually not in my verbatim.

I reckon he goes, she's going to get angry and she's going to ask. Let's just leave it as long as we can. She'll get there. And I'm just like, anyway, like, so yeah, what days do you have the tennis? Like when can we hang out? Like what's the haps like? When do you actually get here? Gets here today.

Today. Today. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. I was just like, oh, so you get here like, yeah, next Thursday? Today. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. I was just like, oh, so you get here like, yeah, next Thursday. And he goes, yeah, 7am. Oh, great.

Well, you can put that hyperventilating to good use. So get your mouth on the blow-up mattress, sweetheart, and start blowing. Yeah. Well, Torb sells another day off. So I was like, who's picking him up from the office? From the airport? He goes, oh, I don't know. I'm working.

I've got tomorrow off though. I go, oh, great. Oh, great. So you'll be able to pick him up at the airport tomorrow. Yeah, I'll pick you up from the taxi stand at tomorrow o'clock. Yeah. Oh, I'll just give you my address then, I guess. And I was like, mate, this whole thing.

So hang on. So Alex, right now, your partner Torbs is at home in his study working. Working from home. You're here doing a podcast. Yeah. And your friend is probably walking to our house from the airport.

Just sitting on the couch. Hitchhiking. He's got his thumb out on the bloody ring road. He's coming from Perth. I don't know. 1845. From the airport. But yeah, so I was just like, you talk every day.

That's so annoying. And then I also, hang on, hold that thought. The other thing was that it took me like losing my cool for them to go, oh, we knew that you'd want this info. I'm like, tell me before it gets to that point. Yeah, that's fair. Like you know that I'm going to, like, I just want to know so that, like, the bed is made and that, like, we do have the day off so that we can, like, hang out or, like, you can have,

or I'll, like, make sure that you can take my car or whatever. Whatever you need, yep. Like, you know? Anyway. So for New Year's Eve we had heaps of people come around. Yep. And I reckon. I wasn't invited.

It was a baby's thing. It was family friendly. Yeah. Not for T-Lodge. It wasn't to. It was a baby's thing. It was family friendly. Yeah. Not for T-Lodge. It wasn't to exclude non-baby havers, but it was more like the other way around. We know you probably don't want to count. Don't want to count. Yeah.

Because we just spent the whole time chasing two-year-olds and trying to make sure no one drowned. Yeah. And no one did, I can confirm. Good. But I reckon mid-November, especially New Year's, it's like, hey guys, probably do a New Year's at our place. Because you know that people have plans and stuff. Yeah, so can confirm. Good. But I reckon mid-November, especially New Year's, it's like, hey, guys, probably do a New Year's at our place. Because you know that people have plans and stuff.

Yeah, so I'm like, come on around. And then it got to like just pre-Christmas and Bridget's like, should we message everyone and say what time to come and stuff like that? And I was like, oh, it's ages away. She's like, it's in 10 days. And I was like. And those few days between Christmas and New Year's. They fly.

They go so slow but so fast. And all of a sudden you're like, hang on, what year is it? Has it already been New Year's and we missed it? And it turns out everyone was, and usually the, it's not a gender thing specific, but it just turned out that it was the girl in the relationship that was kind of like when I said, oh, come around about three, we'll do a big meal at four or five, have a swim here,

and then the younger ones can go to bed at this time. And if you stay, you can go to bed. And instantly all of a sudden, oh, thank God. And all the guys are like, what? Oh, isn't that for New Year's though? Yeah. That's actually right. Yeah, it's next week.

Don't even worry. It's almost next year. I wouldn't worry about it. So you're going to hit the town this weekend? Well, so now I do know what day is that. Adam's at the tennis. Yeah. It's going to be a bit easier.

But whenever Adam comes, we do a bit of a food tour. So we are going to hit Jolly Good Sandwiches. Jolly Good Sandwiches on Johnson Street, guys. My friend just opened it up. They've got, just because of Tony. This is not sponsored, by the way. I'm just really excited about going there. No, it's friends of ours.

We're like friends of friends. They've got Diet Coke in the bar because of me. Yeah. And apparently, because now it's like Coke Zero, Coke. You can't get Diet Coke in a can especially anywhere. In a can at a bar. Yeah. Because usually at a bar it's like the.

The pre-mix, yeah. Post-mix, whatever. Because it's like an old American style, like big deli sandwiches, cans. And then after your meal, get a slice of the pie. Like old school, like a pecan pie. So if you go in there and say, can I have the Tony special, they'll just hand you a can of Diet Coke.

You have to pay for it. They'll keep you on the mouth. But, yeah, they'll crack it for you. Anyway, so, yeah, we're definitely going to hit that. But I just couldn't fucking believe. How long is he here for? Till Tuesday. That's a fair fucking stay.

That's not two nights. That's four. Yeah. And on Tuesday, he's like, oh, I don't like. Go on. Well, he goes, I haven't got that day off work. So I'm going to work from your house, like remote. So I'll WFH from like YH, your house, on Tuesday.

Work from home, your house. WFTH. Yeah. Work from Tony's house. Yeah. Tony and Torbs' house. WTTFN. Anyway, then so he's like working from our house

and then you're going to fly home like the Tuesday night and then with the time difference, like you gain time going back. The working from home really helps you squeeze a long weekend and the thing, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So Cooper, brother-in-law. Oh, yeah.

I'm pretty sure the first few days of their honeymoon, they were both still at work. Oh, love that. From the fucking Seychelles Marriott in the plunge pool. Yeah, you there? Yeah, nah, nah, we're here. That would be me as well. But not you guys, not our employees.

How come your honeymoon was 17 days and you only used nine days annual leave? Hard to tell. They go, yeah, I read this BuzzFeed quiz where it says use one day of leaving at eight years off or whatever. You know those things at Easter? Anyway, I. I get to love to see it here.

Oh, amazing. And good luck for the weekend. Thank you. I've actually got to go. I've got to go get Adam from the airport. Just quickly then, Hannah said both my husband and I are in the military and they have to like move stations sometimes. So they just go, yep, you're four years in Florida's up now,

you're off to the... And just like that. So last time before Tony and Ryan existed, her and her PTPTPP. They had to drive from New York to Florida, says Hannah, and it was awful. Is that a long drive? What's that, eight hours or something, wouldn't it be?

And the rest, depending on how far south in Florida, yeah. I mean, Florida's its own fucking country. Yeah. This time, we're driving from, we have to drive from Florida because we've been moved to Utah, which I'm guessing is like. That's the other side, isn't it? Can you Google real quick? Yep.

Oh, hang on. Producer Phoebe's Googling. Florida, Utah. 35 hour drive. Fuck me. Jump on a plane, dog. Yeah. Or jump off a cliff.

What are you doing? Why are you driving that? That's crazy town. I was really nervous about it, says Hannah, but I can report I listened to Tony and Ryan for every single minute of the 35-hour drive. Oh, that sounds even worse. That sounds like a fucking nightmare.

But I didn't get tired. I didn't get bored. I didn't get antsy. So thank you so much for getting through this five-day drive. We love to see it. Well, well done. I didn't get antsy. So thank you so much for getting through this five-day drive. I'd love to see it. Well, well done. That is, that's it.

That's a big job. And she goes, yeah, and I was working from home the whole time. I don't want to say that's not a compliment and a nice thing because it is Hannah. But, like, do not recommend. Yeah. We do one a day. Like, yeah, if you get a couple in because you're catching up, all good. But, like. Now, I love to see the commitment.

Yeah. You do love to see it. And I'm glad that we could keep you company. But it does sound awful. What do you think of Tony? I don't really like him that much. Yeah, I listened for 10 hours straight by that. I was sort of getting a bit of it.

And you go, you know, don't blame me for that. Like, 10 hours or anything. Yeah. Actually, Tony, is there something you could cop for 10 hours and not get over it? Like even your favourite shows

after a while. I could probably do The Office US for that long. Yeah. But only because I know it. Do you remember that meme that went around? It was that little kid that could watch Shrek in his head. And every time he would get sent to his room or whatever, he would just like watch, like he would shut his eyes and like watch Shrek.

Scene for scene. Yeah. And like, and it would be like, the parents would be like, we would try and tell him off and he would just shut his eyes and like start watching Shrek. And it was only Shrek? Yeah. Like it was just like Shrek number one.

What about Shrek number two, you know? Yeah, Shrek two is such a good movie. So good. So it's like, go to your room and he's like, sweet. He's like, awesome. I'll just watch Shrek? And it was only Shrek? Yeah, like it was just like Shrek number one. What about Shrek number two, you know? Yeah, Shrek 2 is such a good movie. So good. So it's like go to your room and he's like, sweet. He's like, awesome, I'll just watch Shrek. Get some popcorn. Yeah. You just sit there with my eyes closed and be like, oh, yeah.

He's laughing away. Yeah. So that's kind of me with The Office, so I feel like I wouldn't get sick of that. But like I originally thought a foot massage, I would never get over until I bought, remember I got that? The leg thing. The leg thing for the live stream. And after about 10 minutes, I was like, hey until I bought, remember I got that leg thing for

the live stream and after about 10 minutes I was like, hey, I'm getting a bit over this. It's hard because you're sat in one spot the whole time. I reckon some, I don't think I'd ever get over someone massaging my hands. I would never get over you massaging my hands. Yeah, I am good at it. It's because I've got those bent thumbs so I can really get in there. You get right up in there. Might love to see it.

It's a bit of coincidence chat, but it made me really laugh. Tomorrow is coincidence chat, by the way. Well, I mean, I'm just getting in early. Getting ahead of it. On our episode thread for the episode from Friday, the video show, Phoebe commented. Not our producer, Phoebe. Not our Phoebe, right.

Phoebe Mae Hanrahan says, I almost fell over when the new team members were announced. My fiance's name is James. Didn't know we had second jobs, which is funny. That is a pretty amazing coincidence. That's pretty good. So our new team members, Phoebe and James, who you would have met on Friday and you probably heard giggling away in the background.

You saw her eating my shit pancakes on Patreon. Yes. Phoebe and James. And so Phoebe's fiancecé's name is James. So we've got a little top couple. Pretty good. I actually have some news about the podcast. Oh.

There is no show tomorrow for Friday. Why? Because I don't think we can top that coincidence. That's funny. Do we even try? Do we even bother? That's very good. What, do we just call it in now and say, you know what?

Fucking Phoebe and James. Phoebe and James. Yeah, you've nailed it. And not our team members. We have to have a not good chat with them after this. No. Yeah. All right.

Well, more coincidence. Oh, do you know what? Sorry. I know we've been going on really long today, but I'm just going to say this. On a video we posted the other day, it was like some of the shittest coincidence chat ever. It was the guy who

Malcolm. Yeah, Malcolm in the middle aisle who said, oh, I got the same Aldi as my mum was his coincidence, but he lives at home still, so obviously you just go to the closest Aldi. And someone commented and said, oh, I preferred

it when the coincidence chat was shit. Well, mate, it doesn't actually get much worse than that. Al, high or low is your bar because there's something to write. But I audibly laughed. I genuinely LOL'd. I'm not even kidding. I preferred the shit ones. It's better when the coincidence chat is more shit. I was like, oh, I'm not even kidding. I prefer the shit ones. It's better when the coincidence chat is more shit.

I was like, oh, sweetheart. Like, what are you watching? How shit are the coincidences in your life that you think that one's good? So more coincidence chat tomorrow. And make sure it's really shit, not good for that person. I'll give you a clue. No, I don't need a clue. I know it's going to be bad.

In the best way. Actually, all I'll say is Ginger Jones is a fucking legend slash fuckhead. You'll hear her tomorrow. Okay. All right. Well, we'll chat to you then, Ginger. Also, Ginger the J. Oh, Ginger.

Like that. I do like it. I saw that and I went, ooh. Ginger. Is it still Ginger? Yeah, probably. It that. I do like it. I saw that and I went, ooh. Zizor. Zizor. Is it still ginger? Yeah, probably. It's funny when you say it.

Yeah, it's like sexy. All right. All right, love you. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye.