Toni and Ryan - Yung Gravox

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Winners, but also, CRIMINALS!!! Love ya xoPS good luck-en with the turducken xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are calling Amelia, who is a student in Melbourne, and I believe she has class in eight minutes. So let's give her a bell and hopefully, you know, she's not racing in with a big coffee and, you know, class is about to start. Hello, this is Amelia speaking. Hi, Amelia speaking. It's Tony and Ryan speaking. How are you? Shut the fuck up. Hi.

Okay, please don't tell me to shut the fuck up. Amelia, our producer Sophie has told us you've got class in eight minutes. Is that true or false? Yeah, no, that's right, yeah. Okay, what have you got on? Yeah, what have you got? In my last year of studying, I'm doing psychology at the moment at the moment oh well this would be terrible for your brain and so will your lecturer be annoyed if you're just on the phone chatting to a podcast at the start of his you know and how do you explain that yeah oh it's now seven minutes

oh shit oh it's now seven minutes oh god oh god should we just do this? They won't care. Oh, they won't care. They've checked out. Oh. Yeah. Well, then we'll just call you back later.

Amelia, will you approve today's podcast? Absolutely. Yay! Hi, it's Amelia from Melbourne and you can all let Tony know if you can see the sweat can you no oh that. Oh, that one you can a little bit. Oh, can you? Yeah. I'm really sweaty. We just turned the heater off. Yeah. Oof.

Yeah. It was so cold, so we got a bit too revved up. Oh, put it on full blast. Put it on 80 degrees Celsius. Yeah. And coming up today, fine or crime? Yeah. Is it okay or is it not?

And we've talked about- Actually, there's a few crimes in the show today, actually. Oh. There's some marketing scams, I reckon. Final crime, basically a more serious version of normal or nah. Yeah, a normal or nah with criminal consequences. Yes. Fail or jail, we're going to call it.

I like that. I can't believe that just came out of my mouth. Fail or jail. But I like final crime. All right, we'll do final crime. Is it a crime? Jail or fail, normal or not, anything else we need to do. Next weekend, the Schmalympics start.

We're a week away. And we are live streaming from the start of the opening ceremony until Australia wins gold. And obviously a gold medal at the Schmalympics is probably, it's like the pinnacle of sport right of more than sport yeah humanity yeah yeah it's a huge thing and whilst that is a great big thing i also want to sleep over at Ikea. For those playing at home, Tony's mind has exploded.

Does that not sound fucking sick? A sleepover at Ikea. We got to pick our bedding and then keep it because you go to the bedding section and go, oh, I'll take that, that, that, and that, and we'll sleep over here. Because you know how all the bedrooms are set up? And all of the sections of the store. Do they get to have unlimited meatballs? There's no comment on the amount of meatballs in the comments. That's a shame.

That's a real shame. It was such a fun experience and it was a – is this fine or a crime? It was my mum's birthday so I said, this is your present. You get to come with me and stay over at Ikea. Mum is an Ikea stan and she fucking loved it. Oh, I think that's okay. Because that would be really, you go, oh, I've won this thing, come with me.

Yeah. I think that's okay to do as a gift. Yeah. How random though. But I love it. What is the, like, I want to know what the competition, like, what was it for? Yeah, that's, I don't know.

What a great prize. Yeah. Have you seen the chat about Peaking Duck doing a gig in a Bunnings warehouse? Yes. Yeah. I also love that. Do you know who cut all those videos? Franco.

Franco. Yeah. Our video guy. Yeah. Fuck. Hasn't he done well since being moved on by us? No, he still works for us. It's just harder to book in with him because he's doing things

with Peaking Dad. Yeah. Can you help us a little bit less? He's like, yeah, mate, I'm actually really the man. Yeah, he goes, I was about to suggest the same thing. He'll be at the live stream next week. Jessica Gorman. Hi, Jessica.

Oh, Gorman. I'm not wearing anything from Gorman today. I asked for a 24-carat necklace and my husband made me this. Please check your phone. Is the husband a jeweler? Oh, and she does not look happy about it either. What is it? It's a 24-carat necklace.

A bit of string has been threaded through the top of 24, like, carrot vegetables. Jessica said he made me wear it as well. So, Boost Juice had an online competition saying, what's the worst present you've ever got? I submitted my 24-carat necklace and I won a $50 juice voucher. Who's the real winner now? $50 a boost is huge because on Tuesdays they used to do $5 boosts.

What's that like, 100 boosts? No. A thousand boosts. You needed to move a zero, but you've gone the other way, yeah. You get one boost. No, ten boosts. Oh, ten boosts. Do you reckon that they'd sting you with the like,

oh, but you can't use the card on a Tuesday? Like the entertainment book, how you couldn't go after 5pm on a Friday or whatever. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, probably. But that's right up Boost's alley because of the vegetable moment. They probably went, oh, great photo. When you get queased with carrots.

Yeah. We'll give you $55 if you give us the vegetables as well. BYO carrot. That is a really funny from the husband as well, I think. Good for me. Yeah. Lauren Campbell. Hi, Lauren.

I won a competition for barking like a dog into a microphone in front of a crowd of picnickers at our local botanical gardens. There were four people in the competition, three of them under 10, and me, a 33-year-old woman, and I won a free coffee. A free coffee. Now, in my hand is a McCafe coffee, and I can tell you, would I bark like a dog? I wouldn't care because I respect the hustle of trying to win something.

So, like, I don't really, that wouldn't bother me. Everyone write that down. That's good to know. But, like, you know, there's not a lot of stuff I wouldn't do to win something. Does anyone want to bark like a dog for a coffee? I used to tag all my friends in competitions on Instagram and stuff. Yeah.

Shameless. Very, but Lauren Campbell, well done. Well done. And if they go, does anyone want to bark like a dog? And she goes, yep. And they go, oh, that's not really what we meant. We meant the kids. Oh, I see what you mean.

Yeah. It's like an adult entering a colouring in competition. Yeah. Because, like, kids suck at colouring in. I am not as good at colouring in as I thought because Mabel and I are doing a lot of colouring in at the moment. You're not very, like, patient with things like that, though. Like, that's not really where you – because it's not very, like –

it's not really your area. Oh, I'm big into drawing now. Ever since we drew each other for that stream, now I'm drawing every day with Maves and I'm loving it. But drawing's different to colouring in. Depends how you do it. What? I don't really know what that means.

No, neither do I. I just felt right to say. Now this is where I want to know, and I mentioned this yesterday, is this a winner? Have you won a competition or are you getting got? Who's getting who here? Oh, no. I entered a colouring competition.

Fucking, are you joking me? At a pet store and I won a free goldfish. However, I had to buy a new tank to house the goldfish. I spoke to some other kids at school. They had also won the competition. So, Tony Lodge, Inspector Lodge, who's getting got here? The kids, definitely. The winners, quote-unquote winners.

How much is a goldfish and how much is a goldfish tank? A goldfish, I mean, they're literally giving them away for free. Yeah. But fish tanks and setups and stuff are expensive because I had axolotls as a kid and they're really expensive to like set all the shit up. The axolotls actually, I got the eggs from school because Miss Rahim, so she had the axolotls,

and the axolotls laid eggs. Sorry, just that word axolotl is there's an axolotl going on there, and I just, it's hard for me to concentrate on the rest of the sentence. Do you know what an axolotl is? No. Oh, it's a Mexican walking fish. Oh, but it's just such a beautiful word. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's like when someone says spatula, I'm done for the day.

Oh. Doesn't that get you going? Yeah. But you is like, I'm sure, I don't know what you said, but it just sounds so, like it just flows out of your mouth so beautifully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it again? Axolotl.

Oh, fucking Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So her axolotl had eggs, the axolotl eggs. I bet I'm having eggs myself over here just hearing those words. And then my mum said that I could take some axolotl eggs, but they're quite hard to, like, raise from eggs. Yeah. And so we bought a little tank and a little filter and everything,

and I woke up the next morning and the eggs had been sucked into the filter. Like, six axolotl eggs. I'm so sorry. I'm really not over it. And Miss Rahim, she was like. Chopped to death, like sliced into pieces by the fan. And they were just like floating there like this. Because the filter was still on, so the eggs were just like.

Like sucked in. Like a little scrambled egg. It was really like, it was actually so traumatic. And it was Easter long weekend. It really put a damper on Good Friday. Yeah, and you love Easter. It's your favourite weekend of the year. I know.

Yeah, so it comes with it. Is that why you have too much fun at Easter now? Because you're overcompensating for the trauma? For the trauma. Yeah. It was really sad. In terms of ways to die, would being underwater sucked into a fan slash filter be right up there? Right up there.

Especially if you weren't a fish. Yeah. And you didn't have gills. Yeah. And so you already couldn't breathe. So that would be so traumatising. What do you think the worst way to die would be? This is, should we not like do this on the podcast?

It's like a Friday, you know, good vibes. I feel like we're talking about people's wins. Like maybe let's not talk about the worst ways to die. You know what I'm saying? Maybe next week. Do you want me to say axolotl again? Go on. Axolotl.

It's good, isn't it? You should Google an axolotl because they're really cute. If you think I know how to get even close to spelling that. Okay, let me. Like Google it. Yeah, sure. Just fucking, I may as well just headbutt the keyboard and see what letters come out.

This is them. Oh, my God. They're actually. Just fucking, I may as well just headbutt the keyboard and see what letters come out. This is them. Oh, my God. They're actually kind of cute. They're really cute. They've got little smiles. That is not how I would have spelled that. Chloe, go. Sorry.

I'm just showing you another. They're so cute. Imagine six of them in the filter. Very sad. Chloe. I want a free photography session with an amazing photographer who took the most beautiful photos of our family. Beautiful.

However. Gifted a photo session. That sounds lovely. When we got our car, the family car. the skoda they were like oh and this local when you buy the car you get a free session we're like no thank you and they're like yep yep and the free session and we're like no all good and they're like what does that have to do like photos with the car because when you buy a new car you know how they're like oh and there's like a gift basket. Oh, yes.

And a fucking, oh, and Scotty's thrown in a free umbrella. And, of course, you get this photography session and we're like, can you stop mentioning the photography? It's like. We don't want to hear it. I reckon it must have been one of the car dealer's wife's business or something. Or husband or something.

Their daughter maybe had just started a business. And they just wouldn't shut the fuck up about this photo session. And I was like, oh, like all good. So are you telling me that you didn't use a photo session, that you were gifted? Well, I wasn't gifted because I didn't take it. Sounds like we're all on even playing ground, doesn't it? What do you mean?

Because you didn't use a lovely gift that you were given of a photo shoot. No, because it's very different. It's very different. Yeah, because they didn't go and spend money on a photo shoot for my Christmas present. No, it's like it was some scammy offer. Actually, let me read what's happened here because I reckon I know what's going on at the Skoda dealership after I've seen this ruse

from Chloe Gao. We're blowing this right open. I want a free photography session with an amazing photographer who took the most beautiful photos of our family. That's a great win if that's something you want to do because they're really expensive. If we wanted to keep our images and get them framed, we had to pay, let me just double check the zeros

because I know it's a weak point for us. Yeah. $2,500. That's like a million boosts. Yep. Did I win the photography session or did I get got? I think if it's a prize, you can't then charge for any part of it. Or if it's like you get the photos and we'll do one print is like the prize.

And if you want more. And if you want any more, you can add them on. Totally agree. If you want more or you want it framed or whatever, but even just send me the fucking JPEGs in an email. Yeah, unedited. I could run that through Lightroom, you know. That's, nah, that's not, I just don't think that's a very fair price.

Ryan, what's the thing? The radio thing? Yes. The money you spend to use the prize can't be more than the prize itself. However, so an example would be, oh, you've got tickets to this thing in Tasmania, but it costs more to get to Tasmania than the tickets are worth. So they have to give you the flights as well or whatever

or give you a voucher. The value of the prize has to be more than what is reasonable to pay to use it. Yes. And because most people, when you win a prize, you can't then go, oh, well, we'll spend all this money getting to Tasmania or- You've won a walking trip around Antarctica.

By the way, you've got to get there. Yeah, when do you leave? And the people that won, they go, oh, we thought you would deal with that. Yeah, I thought that was a part of it. No, I don't think you can do that. I don't think that's fair. Yeah, that is 2005. What, you thought I just wanted to be in a photo shoot?

Yeah, for a lovely experience of getting my photo taken. Of feeling awkward and having someone yell at me. Put your hand further back. And especially if it's a really good photographer, you go, oh, I actually want them. You've done a great job. You'd be like, yeah, I actually really want them. So what do you reckon is going on at the Skoda dealership

now that you know this? Do you reckon that's what they're doing? I reckon it's all next. It was actually strange how often it came up in conversation. How many times do you reckon? The first time I said, I was like, oh, that's fine. That's a bit, that's totally fine. Not for us.

Not for us. That's okay. And then I reckon it came up four more times in the same day. Because he's like, cool, I'll just have to go get the car. I'll bring it around the front for you. Great. And did you want the photographer? No, mate.

Would the same person settle it? Because I'm like, maybe everybody oh don't they have better things to do like sell scooters yeah or talk to me about my service plan yeah oh fucking literally anything so you walk away with a photo shoot but no keys like and they go i'm missing something here you know what you can get one and a half photo shoots and we'll keep the car. Hi, it's Amelia from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I'm good. Before we get to the Champions half,

something amazing has just happened. I just want to confirm that the photo shoot was like for you and the family. Tony thought it was a photo shoot with the car. It's a Skoda. It's not a 1973 Porsche classic fucking roadster. I've just mentioned eight different cars there. Yeah, that's okay. But I can understand a photo shoot with a good car.

It's just like, it's a great family car, sure, but it's not a photo shoot car. Or do you remember when like in high school and like maybe one of the boys would get a new VT Commodore or whatever and the MySpace album of them with the new weird, you know, vibes? I was imagining that you're in front of the Skoda like this. Yeah. Yeah. One hand with a gang sign and the other hand holding the baby seat.

Yeah. You got the keys in your hand like this, like wave. Dad's with attitude. Daditude. Daditude. Amazing. Dad's with attitude. So, no, but actually maybe I'm wrong.

I just thought I would double check. Surely not with a Skoda. Well, he did. I mean. Did they offer you a photo shoot with the Audi? No, they didn't. But you know what they did do? Because I wanted to take a photo to be like, this is such a huge moment.

This is like a massive achievement for me. I'm going to, like, I'd love a photo because they've got the big felt bow on it. Yeah. And you don't get to take that home. Oh, don't you? No. It's like they then put it on the next car for, like, Jill to pick up her Audi.

Oh, fuck Jill. Then they move it onto the other one so that Mark can pick up his Audi. Like, it's this one communal bow. You don't get to keep it. Anyway. So we just drive around with a bow permanently? Yes. So everyone just goes, oh, they've got a new car.

I'd love to do that at Christmas with, like, a decoration. Like a little present. Oh, my boyfriend bought me this Audi for like spreading joy like the same way that you'd put like lights on the front of your house whatever like if you had that bow at christmas people would be like torbs has bought that yeah who bought her that car that's so exciting no well i bought the car myself yeah anyway and i was like i'd love to get a photo and i just wanted a photo of me like standing to the car being like, how cool, like really lock this memory in. And then they go, everyone's least favourite phrase to hear when someone's holding a camera, let's do a silly one.

No. Don't know if anybody heard that one of our producers went, oh, God. Oh, God, no. And so I'm, like, standing there. And they're, like, Torbs was with me. I was by myself. I'm standing next to the car like this. And they're, like, do us a little bit of fun.

And I went, ah. And I, like, put my arms up like this. And they go, yeah, more. And there is literally a photo of me next to my car like this. Why haven't I seen this? I could probably find it. Is this why you were trying to make me pose like a fuckhead in the tarp-a-thon torch thing?

No. When I was like, and I approved this tarp-a-thon. No, because I thought that was actually fun. We'll put it on the screen. We'll put it on the screen so you can see it on the Spotify app. Oh, Ryan. Oh, Ryan. Here's the question I believe we will all be asking ourselves today. Has Tony just bought an Audi or is she auditioning to be the spinner girl on the Wheel of Fortune?

You know, the girl who spins the thing? It is. Look at that. Yeah. And I look really proud. You look really happy. And because I was really proud, but then I do a silly one. I'm like, oh, okay.

Like, anyway, there's a few in there because the guy took. Can you stop swiping? Can you stop swiping? Because I might have been so excited that I sent a tit pic to Torbs. He's taken a lot of pictures. Yeah. Can you stop swiping now? Because I feel like that's fair.

How many photos did you get of this? I'll stop swiping when I run out of Audi shots. Well, no, because you're going to run into a tit if you keep going. Oh, hang on. Look at this photo of you. Can you? Don't be a dick. Is that you crying about the Audi?

It actually is. I sent that to my brother and I said, I'm about to go pick up the car. Pretty exciting. Can't believe you kept swiping, huh? What else you got in there? Seemed offensive. I didn't know what was in here, but it turns out you would have swiped to the other side and gotten this tin of black and gold

sliced pineapple. So it probably would have been safe, actually. Shame on me. A few champion type of shout outs for everybody in our Patreon. Steph Thomas, good on you, Steph. Thanks, Steph. Alison Sharba, love you, Alison. Sophie Sofster, I think that might be her nickname.

Bridget W and Mitch Jessen, thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. You're absolutely loved, Steph. Loved, Steph. Final crime. Am I the cop or bad cop in this situation? I can't decide what I am, so I think you'll just have to vibe this out and stick with us. Okay.

Final crime. Having a live document full of information about someone that you're dating. No more story required. Crime. Put that fucker in jail. See you later, bud. it's not great is it that is the reddest of red flags behavior the red flag will look similar to the red bow that you

just saw on the car flag um so the lovely girl emily who does my eyebrows she's great and she doesn't sound like it she's is she the documenter or the documentee uh you said to shut the fuck up and i will i did say play along so she is wonderful she's recently moved to melbourne from new zealand she's fucking beautiful she's young she's out playing the field like us move young everyone on our team is like married and very like involved so whenever so every four weeks i go in there to get my eyebrows done and there's been like a whole month of drama with boys let me know everything and i just like i don't have to say anything and she just and i'm like oh so we're still in love with the same boys last week she goes oh no no so um like one week i went in there

and she goes went on a first date last night and both of us were like we're gonna marry each other and then the next appointment so when wedding bells other. And then the next appointment. So when wedding bells, engagement. And then so the next appointment I go in there and I go, oh, so are we still marrying that boy? She goes, oh, no, I got the it because he had really long toenails. I saw this video the other night and there was this girl and she was like, I would never date a guy that fucking this, this, this, this and this.

And I was just like, oh, you can't have long toenails. You can't fucking breathe. I'm like, look at, I know you just said we're all in relationships, but isn't it just fucking great? Well, I think it's like it's good to have standards. Yeah. But I think that you, like a big general sweeping statement of like, I would never date someone with long toenails.

You go, well, if someone's the love of your life in every aspect except for the toenails, buy some clippers from Hawaii and get over it. Yeah. You know? Travel to Hawaii, get some toenail clippers and fucking move on. Or go out of the 1,000 aspects of this person, they've ticked 999 boxes, maybe that's a pretty good ratio. Yeah.

Maybe you're not so perfect yourself, sweetheart. Okay. How are your toenails? Well, okay. You all right? You want to simmer down well how are your toenails whoa okay you're right you want to simmer down how are our toenails lovely i haven't i bet they are i haven't seen them but anyway and so i kind of love it because she's like 23 so she's like she's like i'm not really looking for a boyfriend anyway and i reckon when you know that you're not really looking for someone you probably are a bit more like pedantic about those things

because you go, well, I don't really want to date you anyway, so I'll just look for reasons for like not wanting to date you. Anyway. Do you tell them that's why or are you just going to ghost them? I'm not sure what she did. She just told me that and I was like, okay, like I wouldn't cross you then. Like if that's your limit, then fuck, don't look at my face.

Because I keep my shoes on. Yeah. But then a month ago she tells me about this great new boy and the day that i went in there to get my eyebrows done that night they were going on this lovely date that he'd planned and she was running me through everything they were gonna like he was gonna come pick her up and they were going off to do something and then whatever else i went back this week and I'm like, oh, how's the boy going? Like, we still on that train? And she goes, oh, nah.

And I was like, oh, what happened? And she goes, the other day we were texting and he mentioned something really obscure that I'd mentioned. So, they've been on three dates, right? He mentioned something really obscure that she'd mentioned via text. And she goes, oh, my God, you have such a good memory. And he goes, oh, no, I don't. And then sends eight screenshots of a note in his notes app

with all of this stuff. I'm reading off my computer here because this is what she told me was some of the things that were on there. Her parents' names, what they do for work, what her parents do for work, pets' names that she's had, birthday, food that she doesn't like, what she'd worn on dates that they'd been on and like a note about a bracelet she always wears and like oh date one hair was up date two hair was down date three like so i need to ask fine or crime? Okay.

I am Natalie Imbruglia. I've written the exact same thing. Natalie. Okay. She's on Zoom. So, all right. I think it comes down to the specific things. Because if you just meet someone and you make a literal note that goes,

oh, she doesn't like onions, so I'll keep that in mind. I go, what a thoughtful thing to note down. Totally. And I think the parents' names and the stuff, like, I think the fact, oh, he cares. He's trying to learn about my family and, you know, if something comes up, oh, well, if I ever meet your dad, this crazy law story came up and he's a lawyer, so, you know, that I'll ask him about. Sure. And a few of the mentions, I was like, oh, he's putting in effort then you mentioned the clothes and the hair up and down and that just changed a lot of feelings and feelings and i don't know how that feels feels bad feels because i agree like i think if somebody because I've got notes in my phone that's like. Ryan, dumb. No, I can remember that.

I don't need reminding of that one. But like you've mentioned like authors you like or artists you like, whatever, and I'll write that down and I'll go, oh, if I've got to get Ryan a present or something pops up or whatever, I know that I've got a couple of things. But in terms of like meeting someone and them telling you their mum's name, surely you don't need to write that down. Like, surely that just goes into their.

Is there something, because that one I guess middle ground, what if you are, like, aware that memory and names isn't your strong suit? Yeah. And you've just, just like developed a system. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yep, I know this is a bit of a weakness and here's how I get around it.

I kind of go, oh, maybe just a good solution to a problem you have. I can. Yeah. So that's kind of what I thought at first. I was like, maybe that's sweet. That's effort. And then when she was listing the things that were written on there, I was like, is it to make him seem really romantic

that he's remembered all this stuff? But I'm like, well, yeah. Then don't tell her about the list. Exactly. Yeah, just have the list and don't mention it. I do think there's an element of it. So, in my mind, these lists are on a separate phone and it's like his bitches list. You know what I mean?

Like his catalogue. His bitch burner. Yeah, but it's like cataloguing all these hoes. And do you reckon like when they start doing the hippity-dippity, he like documents it? I don't know. Because there's definitely dudes that do that and it's fucking gross. Get a life. Oh.

When she was – and she was like it was really like off – like she was like instantly I was like, well, no. How are his toenails though? Well, I was like, so what did you say? And she was like – she was like, oh, I messaged him and was like, look, I think like – I don't know, like look i think like i don't know like you but like i think things are moving a bit too fast for me like that's quite serious and he goes oh i'm so glad you said something because i think the same i think like you're coming on quite strong

you're getting dumped by that guy you Shame. You're dumped, slut. And in his notes, he's like, comes on a bit strong. Yeah. In the notes, he's like, yep, ended, blah, July. Like, you know, the date of- Conclusion, brutal rejection. Yeah. Enter. From me.

File away. Not her. I dumped her, you know. But if he does this all in an Excel spreadsheet, he could link them together and at the end of the year, he can go, okay, well, I dumped- There's a pie chart of how many. 64% of the dumpings I did and the other percentage, which is.

What? I was the dumpee. What number did you say? 64. Well, that would be 46. Piece of piss. Tony XL Lodge. No, that isn't right.

Just saying. It's all good. 36. What did you say? I said 46. Yeah, no. It's 36. No, you agreed.

We're both wrong. Yep. And we've written our wrongs. Yeah. I've literally written it in my thing. Yeah. Yeah. My ad-hoc thing.

So they both dumped each other and that was it? Well, no. Well, she was like, what the fuck? And then she was like, and then he didn't message me back. So I think he was like maybe a bit embarrassed or whatever. I do. I'm really torn about it because I think, yeah, it could be seen as like, oh, that's quite sweet.

He wants to remember this stuff. But I'm like, no, the list is too much. Eight screenshots over three fucking dates. That's a lot of intel. That's too much. Or has he got too many bitches on the go? And so he goes, oh, so that thing you were saying the other day? And she goes, I didn't say that.

And you go, oh, that was the other girl. Well, so then would you prefer that I'm on a date with someone? He goes, so with Jeff, your dad, who's a lawyer, like what? Like in conversation, how are you going to use your notes app like it's just i just did a little research beforehand i just remember it just felt like really creepy to me yeah and she said that it was like for me it just implies he's got a lot of girls on the go that is i didn't even think of it and that's not a good thing no you've got so many girls on the go that you need to remind yourself which one is which.

And, yeah, like I think. And even if you do, don't tell them about it. Yeah. Like do it and shut up. Shut up. It was as if he thought that that was just like such a like Romeo move. Well, how's that going for him? Well, I mean, if he's got other girls on the go

and they don't know about the list yet, but I was like, Emily, that is horrifying. Can I talk about that on the podcast? She goes, yeah. I don't know why. Side note, the word list just feels like a heavy word. But whenever you go, oh, what's the deal with that guy? And you go, oh, he's got a list.

It just sounds terrifying. You know what I mean? It's a pretty regular word, but for some reason it just. Eight pages. You'll what I mean? It's a pretty regular word, but for some reason it just... Eight pages. You'll end up on her list. Oh, God. Eight pages.

Isn't that just like... I haven't read eight pages of words in my life. Really? Just like... Except for your book, Page Turner. Yeah, thank you. I've got to go up to see it here. Amazing. Because, fuck it.

Yeah, light you. I've got to go up to see it here. Amazing. Because, fuck it. Yeah, lighten the load. Let us know whether you think that's a final crime in our episode thread today in the Facebook group. Or just how many years attached to the crime. Yeah. Yeah, a bit of that too. Paula Cowan. Great. She got a list. You can't say that about people. We've just decided it's really

bad. My love to see it is the absolute restraint i demonstrated today oh because usually they love to see it is something i did but i love that today it's something i didn't do i cooked a pork roast and had some delicious crackling yum my sister was working she was going to come around later. So because I love the fuck out of her, I left some crackling aside and did not eat it. So when she got home after work, she could have a delicious roast as well. Don't you love to see my restraint get around me, says Paula. That is huge restraint.

Pork is my roaster choice every time. Yep. I reckon for me it would go like pork, then lamb, then chicken, then beef. Beef can fuck right off, yeah. Correct. No, that's just the way it is. That was amazing, though.

Isn't that all for everyone? I don't know, but we just said it at the same time. I hadn't planned that. Although, if we're best friends, you'll know the answer to this. Can we write this down? We've got a piece of paper. No, I can write it. You're talking. Yep, yep.

Hang on. Don't say anything because I know what you're going to say already. Have you just typed to ducking? Yes! The wild card of roasts. The wild card of roasts. Ryan asks his mum for it every year. Yep. Mum goes, what

meat do you want for Christmas? And I was like, to ducking? Which for those playing along at home, is a turkey stuffed in a duck stuffed in a chicken. Turducken. Chicken in a duck in a turkey. Because turkey's the biggest. So it's like tur-du-cken. But isn't a duck...

So the duck's tur-duck. Tur-du-cken. Yeah, so like the babushka doll of the birds. So the chicken is the smaller than the duck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Well, ladies and gentlemen.

I can't believe that. Literally, that's what I'd written. If you want a wild card roast this Sunday. What day is it today? Friday. Yeah. Oh, so perfect day for it. Go to the butcher tomorrow morning and say Sunday afternoon.

I don't know if you'd be able to on short notice buy a Tadaka and I'll be honest with you. So you go in today on the way home from work and go, G'day, Rodney. Good to see the store's back up and running. Yeah, post-COVID. That was really rough on me and this family. No, remember Rodney, the butcher and research,

the bread truck drove through the wall. Oh, no. You want to tell me about that? The bread guy comes in early to drop the bread off to the cafe and doesn't put the handbrake on and his truck just rolls into the butcher shop. Oh, I thought we were just doing, like, role play of, like, hey, Rodney.

No, no role play. There was too much play with the roles. That's why the guy forgot to put the fucking handbrake on. Hilarious. So, anyway, Rodney's back. Hi, Rodney. Your dad is a butcher. No, there's more than one Rodney in this world.

I've got an uncle, Rod. Is he a butcher? No. His birthday's on the 4th of July, though, so it's hard to forget. That guy knows how to roast. Yeah. What you do is you go, give me a tadakin. I'm coming back either tomorrow or Sunday to pick it up because they might need some

time to stuff the chicken in the duck to stuff into the turkey. And then you pick that up and you just. I'm going to be honest. I think it's going to be really, really hard for people to at short notice find a to duck in, especially not around Christmas. Remember that time when I said we should all go, you said we should all go have a Sunday roast at a pub? At the pub, yeah.

And a lot of people did. And they did and we got all their photos and that was an amazing day. My challenge is at short notice can anyone i'd love to see it don't get don't get me wrong can anyone organize themselves at a duck and for this sunday because i know at aldi they sell them around christmas pre-duct yeah pre-done like they're in the like they're all like trussed up and you buy the whole thing i feel like americans have an advantage because this episode comes out on a Thursday afternoon. But it's also summer there.

No fucking way can they get a Tadaka at short notice in summer. Is it a winter animal? They have a season. But like a roast? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Can we just do a home job? Because I'm sure you could... Home job.

Because I'm sure we could individually buy a turkey, a duck and a chicken. Yeah. And then we'll just have to put our gloves on on Sunday and get fucking stuffing. Do you know what might be really fun? Want to come around and stuff a turkey with me? Should we do that in December for our Patreon live stream, like for the month?

We will stuff a duck. Would we do it to duck it? We're going to be live for eight hours. Should we do it during the tarp-a-thon? No. At short notice. Do you have a turkey spare? Anyone?

I'll find a duck. James, you bring a chicken. This is the true turkey journey. I can't wait till Christmas. Let's do it next month. Yeah, okay. Yeah. All right.

I've got to love to say it here. I haven't done mine yet. We're still doing this. I've just sent you a link to this Instagram reel. The username is Alex Van Gerp. This came up on my thing, and I just absolutely pissed. I thought it was so funny i love this um so if you're watching the video show you would have just seen that video pop up but basically the text is texting your boyfriend while he's on the news telling him to wink at you

if he wants martinis tonight and then it goes to the actual news broadcast and the guy goes, and that's the way it was, with a huge wink. It's so fucking good. And then it cuts to him shaking the drink. Making martinis. I thought that was so fun. You know how Bridget doesn't watch or listen to Tony and Ryan anymore? Neither does Torbs, yeah.

Neither. Tony or Torbs? No, Torbs or Bridget. If you're listening to this moment, what can we promise them? Because we know we can say anything we want. Promise that we won't make it to Duckin'. We'll have another child. Don't, because what if, just in case.

Thank you very much for watching and for listening. If this is the one episode she listens to. I promise you it isn't But what if Torbz listens Torbz gets home and goes I'm having a kid with Ryan He goes another one He said another child Thank you very much for watching For listening we'll be back on Monday

Have a good weekend And good luck on your turkey journeys I've just got meat on the brain Actually I've got something to say before we head off to the weekend. I've got a speech. Okay. It's a big weekend because obviously our Hawks are playing Collingwood. Big game.

Big day. And do you know what I'm doing after the game? Going to Young Gravy. I will be at Young Gravy on Saturday night. I sent you the tickets yesterday. Did you get them? Yep. I will not be cancelling because that's not something I do.

My best friend, Tony. Sorry, that's the T. Ryan not cancelling. Tony Lodge, my best friend. Yes. I wear that with pride. Got me tickets to Young Gravy with a plus one but refused to be the plus one. I wasn't asked but I didn't offer.

I think it's fair. Would you like to come with me? No, thank you. I have plans. I'm it's fair. Would you like to come with me? No, thank you. I have plans. I'm on a turkey journey this weekend. I'm trying to find a guy that'll stuff a duck into a chicken into a turkey. Yeah, and then make a roast as well. Yeah.

Do we think? At what point of size-wise, which part of that would Pippa be? The middle or the bottom? That's a Pippin. Then you have to roast. I'm not going to roast her. But like, I'm just thinking about like, so Sophie's cat Pete, that would maybe be the smallest one.

Then Pippa and then BJ. So I'm thinking about stuffing our animals into our other animals and I don't like it. Yeah, it's kind of fucked. Yeah, it's real fucked up. I'm really sorry. Like you want to stuff your dog into a turkey? Don't thread me with a turkey.

I just can't believe I've written down Tadakken and that's what you were going to say. That's amazing. What were you going to say about Young Gravy? Got some gravy for you, Tadakun. Is there any crossover between Tony and Ryan listeners and Young Gravy attendees? Huge.

So are you saying there's going to be a heap of tarpots? Hayley Noodle, she loves you. She won't be at the Melbourne one. I'm sure, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Saturday night I'm going to be there and I don't know. Do you know how hard it was to get someone to go with me? I thought you were about to say, do you know how hard it was to get someone to go with me? I thought you were about to say do you know how hard it was to get tickets and I was like it wasn't.

That's what I mean. I got an email yesterday saying do you want another five? Do you want another five tickets? It wasn't hard to get tickets. It was hard to find someone to go with me. No, but you're going with Brodie Green. I am going with Brodie Green. And Dom? I don't know if he's coming. Dom's come to the footy. He's come to the footy. Yeah, nice.

I'll be coming in hot to Young Gravy from the footy, by the way. So if the Hawks win, just make sure you play your good stuff at the start, Young Gravy, because who knows when the tide will turn. I'm coming in hot. How many times has he got? No, I don't think that many. What time do shows start these days? Because if I turn up for an 8 o'clock show and they go,

oh, here's fucking Young Tadakin, that should be a rap name. That should be a rap name. Lil Tadakin. Shotgun. I'm Lil Tadakin. Lil Tadakin. What could mine be? Lil Sweetheart.

Okay. Yep. This delivery driver texted this guy and goes, oh, what's your street name? And he's like, Lil Marcos. And he's like, no, like the name of your street. your street name? And he's like, little Marcos.

And he's like, no, like the name of your street. As... Fuck me. So if little Tadakin comes out and goes, oh, yeah, young... I'm just going to do a quick little three-hour set and young Gray Vox doesn't come out till like 11.30. Young Gray Vox is Christian. He needs to come out real early and get it done. So when I went to Blink-182 and when I went to Carnival,

I think Carnival started at like 9.30. Oh, my God. I know. The football starts at like 9.30. Oh, my God. I know. The football starts at 4pm, which means I'll be ready for bed at like quarter to six. What time does Young Greybox start? I'm just Googling it now. Okay, so it says 7pm. Great.

But I don't know what time he'll be on, you know, because that's probably what time the whole thing starts. But that's like the doors open at 7. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then a DJ starts at 7.30. Some other guy comes at 8 o'clock. It's Bibinos. Yeah, Bibinos. What do you do?

Fuck, there's still tickets available. If anyone wants to go, it's an unofficial Tony and Ryan meetup, except no Tony. It's a Ryan meetup. Tarp to Duckin and Ryan meet up, except no Tony. It's a Ryan meet up. Tarp, Tadakin and Ryan. Anyway, it's... Someone argued that Tadakin is a meet up. Because the meets are all up each other.

Doesn't say what time it's going to start, unfortunately, but it's Bibinos and then Young Gravy. 18 plus only. Don't bring your kids. Oh, a limit of 10 tickets per customer. That's where we... Minimum or maximum? You get them at Costco in bulk.

Anyway. See you tomorrow night, everyone. You're going to have a great time. Love you so much. Mutadoku! Love you. Street name.