TONTS. - Matrescence Festival with Claire Tonti & Lizzy Humber

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

Welcome to the final episode of TONTS season 5 Matrescence Festival edition. Today, we take the time to reflect on the full two days of the festival, how it came to be and what its future looks like. We encourage you to please let us know how felt listening to this series, what nobody told you and what you now know, you can that by messaging @tontspod on either Facebook and Instagram. For more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which I create, speak and write today. There are Wondry people of the Kulin Nation and pay my respect to their elders past, present and merging, acknowledging that the sovereignty of this land has never been seeded. I want to acknowledge the people who have given birth on this land, raised children on this land for generations connected to country and spirit. Hello, welcome back to the very last episode of this very special edition of Tants for season five. I can't believe it's already over. Anyway, we'll have to do the next one next year. My name is Claire Tanti. And I am Lizzie Humber and together we have founded the Metressants

Festival and are co-hosting this podcast series for you. Listen along with us as we share the live episodes from the recording of Metrescent Festival in Australia that took place across two days in March 2025. So in this our very final episode, we include some reflections from Claire and I recorded on the final day, also talking about what led us to create the festival and a little bit more about my work in the UK and how we came to collaborate. And then we're going to finish on some audience reflections at the end of both days, but particularly the end of the second day. We really pass the mic to the audience to hold space for them to reflect back what they had heard, what had resonated for them and yeah, it's moving and I think probably you will identify with

a lot of the things that they say and the reflections that they have. So we felt it was really important to include that. And we would love to hear your reflections from what you've heard listening along to the podcast recordings from the festival. So please do get in touch and comment and tell us what you thought of and what you're taking home from this experience. So in addition to hearing from the voices of people at the end of this episode, I wanted to share that in each of the festivals, so in the UK we had a tree and in Australia we had an art and the audience were invited to write on little tags

and tie them on as kind of a joint art piece throughout the weekend. And really, they were one of the most profound things for me to read. The tag said nobody told me and now I know. And really at the heart of Metrescent's Festival is the audience. of the people that come in that space and their experience to us is really why we did it, right? Like very intentionally Lizzie plans events and we did it together very intentionally for the experience of the people within the room to feel inspired or seem to feel less

alone, to feel educated. And so those tags to us are like treasures and we read them out the day after the festival and cried. Do you want to share a little of your reflections on those? tag, I think the tags are a beautiful measure of people's experience because nobody told me dot, dot, dot about their experience of motherhood, matressants, you know, actually it gets right to their heart of like, what did you not know? What took you by surprise? What did you find at the festival? What have you found here? And it really allowed us to get an insight into the audience

experience, which is incredibly motivating for us when we know that people have had a good time and that it's, you know, things are connecting for them or they feel seen or they have met a new friend. That's incredibly exciting. The orange tree that we had in the UK that I spray painted with my daughter, that we had this giant old theatre prop from a beautiful company called Alibi. And we had the same invitations. And I brought all of those with me from the UK. And I read those through as well. And because we're very keen that these two festivals across the other side of the world are incredibly connecting. So they should continue to speak to each other and inform each other. And we want to create some sort of artwork that kind of continues to

grow and has conversations across each side of the world. So we've got these beautiful banners in the UK that were made by the community. And Claire has got her beautiful snake and the butterflies. And we've both got these magnificent. in metrescence letters, silver letters that fill the space saying this beautiful word metrescence. And the tags that people write on are kept with great reverence and continue to grow the story and inform how we shift and grow. We've also been catching up with our audience a few months after and also five months after the festival to learn about this ripple effect, like how are their stories changing, what has been the influence of coming to the festival.

And people are telling us that it's made a difference in their lives, that they feel we connected to themselves, that they've made new friends, that they're having these different conversations. And yeah, so I think that's reflected in some of the comments that you hear at the end of this episode. But like you said earlier, we're really interested in what your experience has been listening along as an audio podcast listener. We would love to know. So perhaps in this episode, in our sharing, we can invite you to also. so respond to you, nobody told me. Dot, dot, dot, dot. And now I know. Dot, dot, having listened to these 13 episodes, lucky for us, not unlucky. Exactly. So, yeah, without further ado, over to Claire and I, chatting on day two of the festival.

We wanted to close the morning by just having a moment to reflect on what we've heard, thinking about what's brought us here today why we've created the metrescence festival we thought you might like to hear from us feels a bit arrogant now no it doesn't what happened was I convinced Lizzie that she needed to tell us a little bit more about her work

essentially and why she's flown all the way with her family from Exeter to here so could you tell us a little bit about what you do in your community and why So my background's in performance and I was producing artists when I became pregnant and I was working for different organisations and I realised that having an arts career

was not in line with being a mother because the system required me to have blood, sweat and tears work all the hours, be paid very little to not value myself to show up and give everything and not ask for space to have. have a maternity leave, to not be flexible to go on tour at the drop of a hat. And I realized I needed to change my thinking. I started to look for answers.

I found the beautiful Matilda Lysa who founded Mothers Who Make, and I joined her on her journey and became a co-director of Mothers Who Make, which looks at the dual role of mother and artist and how you can exist as both. so Matilda is very much responsible for the ignition in my thinking so Matilda and I ran that network for four years and two years ago I began oh no five years ago I started something called mothers on the mic so as a result of the journaling groups that I was holding in my community

and the peer support spaces I was holding I was hearing lots of people feeling frustrated like there was lots of barriers in their way they couldn't get out of the evening to go and have a social life all of the conversation was around the children we go to baby groups we'd learn the children's names we wouldn't learn our own names we wouldn't learn anything about our identities so I was like how do I create spaces where you can show up as you are the children can see you as whole people and so those peer support spaces were the start of that

and so then I move that into the art with the journaling and the poetry that people were writing was incredible their voices, they were finding themselves in this way that was revolutionary. So we did an open mic and people loved it. We had grandmothers performing and we had new parents performing and it was mothers and non-binary parents and I've been running that for five years. We always have a headline artist to elevate it to make it a professional space and I do it across the city in Exeter and people love it.

And community has built with those peer support spaces with the journaling with space to have their voice. Everything happens in the day. Children are always welcome. You never have to apologise for taking care of your children. And that's been quite revolutionary. And two years ago, I decided

that we needed more social life. So I've created daylight sessions. So I run music gigs now. I run stand-up comedy gigs, poetry events and talks. But you can bring your children to. in the day, but it's adult-centred. Sometimes it's sweary, but it's always revolutionary.

And people tell me it's making a difference. It is, really. It really is. I had the absolute privilege of going to X. So that's how I met Lizzie. So I went on tour. Amy invited me to go and sing some songs at her conference in London. And I went, all right, yep, sure.

We'll do that. And so I went over and sang some songs and ended up on this big tour. And as part of it, my dear friend Shana, I, who's a mum in our community, found Lizzie through Lauren Beatty's work, who runs Paternal Journal, and she's doing another session this afternoon. And so we connected through Lauren. And then I just, she kind of, I kind of asked to come and you were like, why is this Australian woman?

I couldn't quite work out who Claire was. I was like, her ambition is big. And you want to come to my little space and talk to me and you're doing this tour. And then I went to Claire's gig and I was like, we're doing the same thing. We're doing the same work. And we had a great connection. And she came and saw my journaling group

and just made everyone cry. Sophie and I were like, we've got to get all this stuff done and everyone's crying because Claire's turned up. Because we're all British and repressed. And we go, no, tears are like session three, Claire? Didn't you get them at my mind?

It really was, I remember going into this workshop and we had, Lizzie, I didn't know what to expect and I was volunteering and I just kind of walked into this room and there were like 10 new mothers who hadn't met each other, all these art supplies everywhere with their babies, they all came in like, okay, I've made it, don't I have a cup of tea, I'm exhausted and they've got a baby and I just got to hold babies and make tea and watch Lizzie work and I thought this woman is creating revolution because you are speaking to the mother while her kids are also so happy to be here too and I just have learnt so much and then I watched her mothers on the mic which is just extraordinary these women having babies on their hips saying the most powerful poetry I've heard

that they wrote at 3 a.m because they needed to get an outlet and and you know they have kids eating and round them. We've moved into comedy now, stand-up comedy sessions with mothers learning how to do stand-up comedy, which is insanely funny. So much rich material. And then we also have a songwriting course which culminates on a mother's on the mic. And, you know, we had one a few weeks ago

and someone had just lost a baby in, you know, at 20 weeks. And they wrote a song about that just seven weeks after experiencing that. And it was a grief-holding space. It's very vulnerable taking this stuff to the stage and you have to be really careful of people in the room. But as a community, we hold each other. And people watch and they come for lots and lots of sessions. And eventually they go, I might get up on the mic one day. And you go,

yeah, and you helped them get there. Because just taking up space and being heard is really important. I'm starting to find my voice. People have started saying, we want to hear what you have to say, Lizzie, which is uncomfortable for me because I like to create the spaces for other people to feel. And that gives me immense creative satisfaction when I hear the ripple effect. The Matrescence Festival we did in Exeter was mind-boggling, wasn't it? And people are still telling us of the collaborations that emerged, how it's changed their relationship to their sense of self, how they're having conversations with their bosses about what they need,

and not being afraid to find community. Social isolation is really high in motherhood. And isolation and loneliness is as bad for your mental health as smoking and obesity is for your life. So we need to have spaces where in the village we can connect to each other, we can be seen, we can support each other, and our children can see us as who we are. Thank you.

Could I ask you to give Lizzie Humva a big round of applause? Because what she's doing is incredible. Equally, this woman is. is magic. I think you can all agree Claire Tanti has something very special and you're very lucky to have her in Australia. I would love to bottle Claire just a little bit to bring her positivity and her joy back with me. We balance each other out quite well. I'm always like, another thing, we're going to have dances and Lucy's like, I'm like, I get my clipboard and I'm not sure about that, but she did it anyway and it was right. It was right. I'm used to saying no to artists

because they have to be the sensible one sometimes, but I'm also very unsensible. But we bring out good stuff for each other. We've been a really great team. And we have this vision of having a tour bus with the word metrescent's down the side and taking it to every community. This is right, yeah.

So if anyone can help us, if anyone's got a bus or some money, they want to give us. Totally. We would get a bus and drive the Avengers, as I called all of the guest speakers. We just assembled all the Avengers and we'll drive them all over the place. So before we finish,

could you just stand up and give Claire Tonti a massive round? of applause please thank you for the gift of your presence in this space thank you for caring for each other for holding each other with kindness for seeing what we were trying to create and showing up as your full selves so incredibly grateful more tears um what i would love now is to invite you to share. If there's anyone who would like to share a reflection from this weekend, we'll pass the mic around and I can move. Yeah, oh, Lizzie can.

Great. Then we'll do some thank yous and we might have a few songs at the end and then we'll be leaving here today. But I want you to keep this feeling here because that your voice is free. You don't need to be anywhere, do anything. Don't need to be anything. But it's just there as a friend. for you when you need it and I'll send those mantras around actually someone to Sarah I think

suggested that so I'll do that okay any any feelings or comments from today you'd like to share as a final reflection um Jane in the last workshop I'm Julie hello Jane in the last workshop said that what the birth of our children teach us is what we need to take into parenting them, into mothering them. And I never thought about it like that before. And I think it's so wise and so beautiful. And just reflecting on that, I think we will mother them better in what we've learnt from their birth.

So thank you. I don't have my son here with me, but I wanted to. thank all the mums who do have their kids here because you're doing such beautiful work in between all the listening and doing and thinking and it's really nice that the kids and the babies are in the space so I wanted to thank the mums who have brought that element even though it's been an extra element for you guys. What's your name? What was your name? Jamie. Jamie we say thank Thank you, Jamie. Thank you, Jamie.

Go, Lizzie, go. Look at her, Ryan. Oh, hi. She's so amazing. I'm Shavita, and I just want to say thank you for organizing this wonderful event. And for me, just having food available to me without thinking about getting up and packing lunch and food was just so nurturing for me as well as everything else, but that was one of those things that just made it magical.

It was the sprinkle on top of everything else. It's one of the things, two years ago, Claire and I had a dream space with Shana as well. Sharnie. She's here. Where's Shana? Yeah, she was, this is my friend Shana. She's been instrumental. That was one of her scenes.

It was December. It was dark in Exeter and we were on Zoom. And one of the things we said, we need good food and lots of breaks and lots of nurturing. So that was how one of the ingredients that went in. Hello. Hello. My name's Wyatt. Hi, Wyatt.

I want to thank my mum for bringing me here. It's been a good experience. Thank you, Wyatt. Thank you, Wyatt. Oh, Jay, jade, oh, sweetheart. Oh, my gosh, that is so beautiful. And Jade, yeah. And can I just say for a moment, Jade has, um, is, um, is, has, um, has, um, done so much this weekend but the bell tent is jades so if you sat in that tent that's hers and her brother set it up this has been a whole family and she's been here the whole time every time

we turn around jade's like do you know anything do you want some water have you eaten here's another syllable so from my heart to yours and she also does would i say womb healing is correct i have womb massage yeah yeah okay keep talking oh i don't know if i can speak now Yeah, so many people have said, like Claire just explained, oh, you haven't stopped all weekend. But I think it's just because I really like this work. It's my passion and more than the work that I get paid to do.

So definitely it's just that adrenaline and filling my heart. And my cup is so full. So thank you for everybody who's contributed to this weekend as well. Thank you, Jane. Thank you so much. Can we say thank you, Jade? Thank you, Jane. Thank you, Jane.

Oh, there's a bit Lizzie just there. Hello. My name's Beck, tears as well. I have cried all weekend. Hi, Beck. Hi. I was actually meant to come with a group of friends, but all of them have slowly not been able to make it for various reasons.

But I really think that I was meant to be here. on my own yes and I have met just the most incredible bunch of people this weekend and I wanted to just to express my deep gratitude just for women and all the work we do and all the unseen work we do and this event

I heard about the term of tressence a few years ago and everyone was like thought I was a bit cuckoo they were like what are you talking about yeah and I'm like but here here it is you know anyway so just thank you to everybody I've met this weekend and yeah I'll really hold this in my heart for a while so hopefully forever thank you thank you back I would like to say that that's one of the ripples we really want that that you make even one friend that you share your Instagram share your number talk and connect after

the fact because this is not a one-time thing this is a ripple so that's really precious it's why we called it a festival because it's not like a big scale walking around lots of browns and it's a celebration, and that's why we have sparkly metressant's letters to celebrate that word, to let people know about the power of the word. Hi, my name's Jess. Hi, Jess.

Hi, Tons. Hey, me. See you for coffee at school drop off tomorrow. Yeah. I just wanted to congratulate all of us because it's so hard to find time to do anything. I'm sorry. Stop looking at me, Tantz.

It's so hard to find time to do anything for yourself and to put ourselves first and say, I'm going to spend a day working on myself and being the best mother and person I can be, that's such a huge investment. And I'm sure we're going to rush to Coles after this for the grocery shop, but thank you. Well done. Well done to us for getting here because it's so hard to make time. Thank you, Jess. Thank you, Jess.

What a superstar. Jess sends me playlists all the time. She really gets me. I love it. Thank you. Hi, I'm Deb. I just also want to mention that Jade does a course for girls, young girls who are going into their cycles.

So I just want to shout out to you. I haven't done it yet, but you're on my watch list for when that happens. Oh, so I'm Nadia. Thanks. Hi, everyone. I thought I was coming, I'm out of the metressant stage and have adult children and other children but I thought I was coming for a kind of intellectual exercise this weekend

like I work with women with babies and I was just saying that you know I thought that I was going to come and learn some things to share with clients and that would be lovely and I am leaving here I'm going to cry, profoundly changed by this experience. This weekend has hit me deeply, in a way I was completely unprepared for, actually. And as I move into that, you know, I'm now taking the word sage essence with me. That's coming away with me.

I just want to thank you everyone that's been part of this. of these women kind of bringing together their stories and their wisdom and sharing it because, yeah, I'm leaving here a new woman with a different, you know, approach and I'll be walking through the world differently thanks to the beautiful work that's happened here. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Nadia. Thank you, Nadia. Yes, yes, we all know. Hello. I'm Vicki. I just want to say. say thank you to the most remarkable women that I know and the ones I've just met.

And Jane and I, we have to go and catch a plane, so we want to say goodbye. We didn't want to miss that opportunity, so bye, y'all. We love you, and we'll see you again. Thank you for gracing our space with your wisdom and your sage essence. Yes. Okay, hi everybody. Just, I'll be very short and sweet. But I think we just need to put our hands together and our hearts together

for these two incredible women that have held space for us and dreamt this whole thing up for us to be a part of. We are, like, I am so grateful to be in their lives. And we just wanted to say thank you for the most amazing weekend ever. And for, yeah, just the love and care that you have for this is incredible. And we, I think we're all better off for having you here with us. So thank you. Okay, so that brings us to the very end of this special series of tons.

Thank you so much to listening through to all of our episodes of this series. It's been such a special journey to be on in person, but also in audio form. We really didn't get to listen much. what was going on half the time because we were so busy facilitating. It's been such a joy listening through to all the episodes again. And like you hear things land again, but there were some points that I was out of the room and I got to hear everything that I missed. And I hope that people who came to the festival are able to listen back through,

but that the people listening at home, that you listening at home, are able to feel like you were there, that you are part of this because you absolutely are. This festival was made for you too. You are very much a part of it. and we really hope you enjoyed listening. Absolutely. It makes me excited for the ones we're going to do in 20206.

We wanted to say thank you to our amazing guests, our speakers, everyone who attended the festival and our incredible team who made this possible. I want to give special thanks to Maisie, Sarabi and Collings, our podcast editing team for creating this episode and all of the episodes with us. And we are planning, as I said, more festivals for 2026 in both the UK and Australia, and are currently seeking funding. If you would like to contribute or be involved, we have a form to fill in.

There's a link in our show notes for sponsorship, being a speaker, leading a workshop, or just for more information. And you can head to matressensfestival.com on matressensfestable.com or motressensfestable.com. com as well. There's a link there to donate to future work. So we would absolutely love to hear from you

in any way you can to support the work that we're doing. We really, really believe in this work. I think in looking back at our work, evaluation and the feedback from the audience really proud of us lizzie and also it was a lot of fun it was enormous about of work but it was so much fun it was so much fun i'm i am really proud of us to last year in the UK and this year in australia oh my god it's just been such a beautiful dream to work with you there and i feel very very excited about what's coming next we've got big vision which we want to grow as we grow as mothers you know our children

still quite young. As we grow across the countries that we live in with our communities, we've got lots and lots of ideas and lots of people coming to us and saying they would like a metressence in their home community. So watch this space as we grow and evolve with this on our metrescence journey with you. And thank you to Claire for having me on your podcast as like a podcaster interloper. I feel massive imposter syndrome. So thank you for being so kind and welcoming me to your audience. Oh, it's been so much fun. You've been amazing and it's so nice to not be doing it on my own. And also, I haven't recorded a podcast in quite a long time. So there's lots of episodes back in the back catalogue if you'd like to take a listen to other

episodes of Tons. But yeah, it's been such a joy to have you on for the ride. And hopefully we can have you back again. It would be awesome for more. And the Tresses Festival too. So for more from Lizzie Humber, lack the word number, you can head to Lizzie Humble. Umber.com. I know Lizzie's like, oh, Claire, don't give me that. Anyway, I think it's fun. Um, and at Lizzie Humber on Instagram. And I'm Claire20.com and at Claire 20 on Instagram. And as I said before, you can find out more information at matressensfestival.com or matressensfestival.com Okay. Sending lots of love. And we hope you have a beautiful week or time whenever you are listening to this across the world. And we'll hope to speak to you soon.

Thank you. Bye. Bye.