Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Andrew Neil: A story of mental illlness, courage, and hope

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Tony Mantor sits down with Andrew Neil to discuss his transformative journey through traumatic brain injury, mental illness, incarceration, and his eventual path to healing. Andrew shares raw and candid insights from his experiences, including his pivotal car accident in 2009, subsequent psychotic episodes, and his time at the Virginia State Hospital system. He opens up about the critical role of music, writing, exercise, and mindfulness in his recovery. The episode captures Andrew's resilience and hope as he turns his life around, embodying a message of unwavering positivity and perseverance. Listen in for an inspiring dialogue about the power of hope, human connection, and the importance of mental health advocacy. Meet Andrew Neil: A Life-Altering Accident The Aftermath: Psychotic Episodes and Legal Struggles Life in Jail and the Road to Recovery Music and Creativity as Healing Tools Daily Life and Coping Mechanisms Future Goals and Reflections The Power of Hope and Empathy INTRO MUSIC: T. Wild Mantor Music BMI The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from the heart of Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests share their raw, howlful stories. Some will spark laughter, others will move you to tears. These real-life journeys inspire, connect, and remind you that your never alone. We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance, and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Tune in, be inspired, and join us in transforming the world one story at a time.

Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide. Joining us today is Andrew Neal. While returning to his parents' home, he crashed into an illegally stopped vehicle. Ten days after the accident while recovering at home, he had the first of many psychotic episodes that changed his life forever as he stabbed his younger brother through his arm. He spent seven months in a jail cell and was found not guilty by reason of insanity. He was then committed to the Virginia state hospital system for a period of pre-long years. His inspirational journey is one of music, writing, children's books, and all the things that keeps him hopeful for a brighter future. So before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors.

Thanks for coming on. Yeah, I really appreciate you having me and doing stuff like this. It's important. Oh, it's my pleasure. And I do agree with you. It is a very important subject to talk about. So if you would, tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, long story short, I had a traumatic brain injury in 2009 with a car crash. I suffered a TBI. And after that, right after that, I started having trouble, like mental illness, you know. And I would seek treatment and stuff. But long story short, one time, I was like in a manic episode and just racing thoughts.

And I punched the walls in the house. And my brother came down and it's like, what's going on? and there was a knife on the counter, and I thought he was an imposter wearing a suit, so I stabbed him and hurt his arm, and then the cops came, and that kind of started my journey as far as being incarcerated for something that I did, like, in the spur of a moment in the course of like a minute, you know, it really changed my life forever. So after that incident, what happened next?

So like about nine months in a little jail cell, 23 hours a day. So after all that happened, how did that affect you and change your life? Sometimes it's kind of like, you know, as I look back on the dark cloud, I see the silver lining because it lets me appreciate things like being able to go outside or drink water, you know, drink some tea. You know, it just makes me appreciate the little things in life when you have been kind of locked up like that, you know. But another thing, too, is I'm a musician and an artist and I write songs and stuff. And after I got out of jail, I went to Western State Hospital in Stanton. And I stayed there for about three years. and then I got conditionally released.

And then now I'm doing pretty good in society and I'm knock on wood, I'm very stable. I have a good balance. So was it the accident that you was in that started this whole journey down this path for you? The traumatic brain injury? Yeah. Well, yeah, that was in 2009.

And it was, you know, sometimes I would take med. Sometimes I wouldn't. I didn't think it was that serious, but it was pretty serious. and I, you know, I would have psychotic breaks, but now I'm on some good medicine and very stable. And, yeah, that kind of really kind of definitely set off the avalanche about some of my struggles with mental illness.

Okay, so how did they go about treatment? How did they figure out what was going on with you so that way you could get the treatment and everything that you needed so that way you could move forward with your life? Well, I would say the, at Western State, I had some really, really good doctors, and I was very fortunate to get care of. A lot of people don't get the care that I got. You know, I was very lucky and blessed. They actually did some exposure therapy, kind of go over some trauma that happened to me when I was little, and that really

helped a lot. And then also they used some different medicines, but the one they settled on was clausoril. That's really been very effective for me. But also, I started to exercise again. Growing up, I played football a lot. I got some concussions and they said that that might contribute to some of the problems I was having, you know. I actually got a scholarship for lacrosse at West Point, but I dropped out because of some just depression and stuff. So exercise really helps as well my treatment. And I read a lot like self-help books. To answer your question, the treatment was really, it was a combination of therapy, medicines, exercise and mindfulness, you know, and also. So I've always been a positive person, to just have a positive outlook on life.

So something like that, of course, it affects your family, it affects your friends. So how do they handle it? Did they get behind you and support you to help you get through it all? What was going on through their minds during this process? Yeah, it was tough, though, you know. It's really, really tough at some times. They found some support groups with like NAMI, and stuff like that. But it wasn't always easy, you know. There's a lot of stigma still attached

with mental illness. So they never gave up on me, you know. There was some times in the hospital when I was struggling and, you know, and even the doctor said they didn't know if I was ever going to get better. Well, it's absolutely good that you did. So what do you do now? Looking at what you're doing, what does your life look like day to day? It's pretty good. It's pretty balanced. I exercise a lot. I read a lot. I do a lot of chores around the house. My parents sometimes go to Florida, so I take care of their house when they're gone. I see my doctor every month or so. I'm in the process of my work. I write children's stories and poetry. I actually have teamed up with an illustrator from Boston, and we're going to start illustrating some of my stories. That's kind of cool. That's very cool.

And I have a band called Code Purple, Andrew Neal and Code Purple. And we have our stuff on Spotify, all originals that I wrote and we practice. Every now and then, we get together in practice. We actually played in Charlottesville. There's a thing called Fridays after 5. It's like downtown. It's a pretty big deal. We played there last year, so that was a pretty cool thing.

Yeah, it's great that you can be creative and still do what you want to do. But I do a lot of chores. I really try to pull my own weight. I pay rent and I do a lot of chores around the house. And I also have a cat, and she's very therapeutic too. we have a bond so yeah that's just so good animals are very therapeutic and just help so much now with everything that you have going and it's a lot what's your future look like do you have any goals and plans that you're thinking of now i just take it day by day and i do have a vision for my future which is

important i think with mental illness perspective is key a lot of times people are so even myself included i was so caught up and looking back at the past you know that i never moved forward but now it's like my perspective is on the moment and like I have hope for the future. You know, I'm looking forward to things. And I think that's really, um, heat of mental wellness. Absolutely. So when was it that you got your first diagnosis to the point of where you started seeing what was going on and figuring things out so that you could move forward with your life? I guess it would probably, I don't know, maybe it was a long journey. They had ups and downs. There was times when I was, you know, self-medicating because I had a really bad back in Greece.

There were times during the opiate crisis one. But I guess when I was really starting to feel good, the pandemic threw a monkey in my ranch, but I think that did a lot to everyone. I guess sometimes it's almost like I also had non-haphyl lymphin phoma. You know, it's cancer free now, but that was five years ago, but I guess the illusion I'm going to make is kind of like, sometimes with mental illness, like you get better, you know,

and you're doing really good for a while, but then it's like you go back into remission. As far as me now, I think, To answer your question, I guess it would probably talk about, you know, 12 years to get to this level of kind of awareness and this level of kind of knowledge of this self, this self awareness and to really self actualize myself and not be who society or like wants you to be, but just to be my true self, you know. There's a quote saying, you know, the world will ask you who you are and if you don't know, the world will tell you. So the world's not telling me who I am anymore and I'm just, I'm answering that every day. So it took a long time. I know time's relative, but it's almost like, you know, the Israelites in the desert. I was wondering for a long time. It took them like 40 years. So I'm 36 now and I have a lot of storms under my belt. But one thing about me is if I make a mistake or something, I usually tend to learn the hard way. But once I learn something, I tend not to repeat it. Yeah, that's great. Now, I've talked with several different people. They talk about their daily

struggles and of course what it takes them to get through those daily struggles to continue. Do you have those daily struggles that you have to work through to maintain so that way you can keep moving forward? Yeah, I mean, definitely there is. At Western State, a very nice day named Shari we always say, you make the weather where you are. Sometimes, though, there's some storms that we have no control over. Like, and I think a lot of, it really with me. I think I've really got the psychological stuff down, but sometimes especially with the head trauma and I really think sometimes it's more of the physiological, you know, stuff that I might have to deal with sometimes, just like maybe a little bit of social anxiety here and there. And I just,

you know, got to ground myself. And I write poetry. That's kind of how I make sense of the world. And they're really short ones. So people can memorize, I can memorize them. But to answer your question about how I deal with my struggles. That's really the social anxiety and fear of trusting people. You know, me, me, me, I, I, like too much of these words and peace starts to die. So it's like sometimes, like, the way to peace for me is like I try to focus on, I do focus on myself sometimes, but I try to care about and love other people. And that really, you know, it's in giving that we receive.

And it really just helps, you know, when you have that mindset of just trying to love other people. That's a great way of looking at things. Because even though you have daily struggles, you can work around them in the way that's most comfortable to you. Yeah, there is daily struggles. But, you know, like I said, every now and then, I always kind of remember my past, my scars and where I came from in that jail cell. And every day out of theirs is a gift from God. And there's some people that weren't as fortunate me that, you know, things could have turned out way different by God's grace it didn't. And I got a second chance on life. So some people aren't as, you know, some people are going to be there, you know. Yes, you were very correct.

There are many people that are not fortunate enough to be out of jail. And because you had things that worked out, it's given you a better life and also a lot of hope. And it's funny, you know, I watch this documentary on ESPN about these people in San Quentin that ran a marathon. It said that the U.S. has just 5% of the world's population, but it has 20% of the world's incarcerated. people. So yeah, it was just, it was pretty interesting. But another thing too is to get back to your question about the daily struggle, even people that don't have mental illness in this world, in the climate of this world today, I think everybody is struggling. And the biggest thing, I think just to trust that to have like your circle of comfort and to know that people love you and that you love them

and that, you know, your cat loves you and you love your cat, just the little things. When you lean on the little things, the big things don't crush you, you know. Yeah, that's a great way of looking at it. Now, when you have a bad day, how do you cope with it? How do you get past it? That way, you know that you can sit back at night and say, you know, I had a bad day, but that's okay. Now I've got tomorrow.

Yeah. Well, there's different avenues. One, you know, physiologically, you know, you can take like a PRN and supplements like L-Fining, which is found in. green tea. I think I'm like a preontent right. Oh, finding. It's like an amino acid. It's found in green tea and that that helps calm you and take a warm shower, take a break from other people for a while and go out into the woods or just deflate there. And one thing too is I read a lot. And I read and this does go back to a question about how I deal, how I kind of cope is I read

about Muhammad Ali and he would the rope he dope. And sometimes like on the early rounds, he would just lay on the ropes and let the person, you know, so sometimes I do that with my mental illness, you know, on some days when it has the upper hand, I just lay back on the ropes and kind of just let itself, punch itself out. And I know that this two shall pass. And then I just move on from there, kind of oversimplifying it. But yeah. All that matters is that it works for you. Now, are you looking at doing it, advocating at all? I really think eventually I want to start doing that. I live in Gordonsville, Virginia, and in Charlottesville, they have this thing called Blue Ridge Clubhouse, and it's a pretty good place.

Monday and Friday, they have different groups and workshops. So, yeah, I think it's important to know that you're not struggling alone. Yeah, absolutely. And plus, you have the lived experience of what you've been through and how you live your daily life and how you're living it now. So because of that, do you have anyone that reaches out to you that may need some help that needs a little guidance and possibly a little mentorship that you can give. Yeah, I definitely have some friends,

especially from when I used to live in a group home in Charlottel. I still stay in touch with some of the people from there. One person in particular who is really kind of going to some things right now, everything that's going on in the world. So I can't really put in the board to probably what's feeling, but that's a tough time right now for him. And he has mental illness too. So, yeah, just being there for him.

but I really do think some of my poems really do kind of help people. Yeah, that's great. Do you find at any times that you'll do some self-reflecting, you'll look at what you've done, analyze it some, and then use that to see how you can better yourself from day to day? Yeah, I mean, I would say sometimes that I probably need to have a little bit more self-reflection than I normally do. I did start writing a little book about like stuff I noticed about my symptoms and stuff.

So the more knowledge you have about something, the more you can handle it, you know? For example, like one thing is like sometimes I miss hear things. It's almost like my ears have dyslexia. They miss hear things. So my acronym for life is learn, improve, fight on, and enjoy. So that improved part, like you say, I try to do that every day. I try. But yeah, there's probably a lot more room for self.

reflection. I mean, you know what I mean? Because that's pretty much a self-reflection. I mean, it's like, you know, it's pretty limitless when you really think about it. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. So what's your go-to when you just want to get away from everything and be like on your own little island? What's your go to to just relax and use that enjoyment part to keep moving? Yeah, I would say, um, as far as I, what I go to to enjoy life. Yeah, what puts you in that place where you just have that great feeling,

not worrying about anything, and just live in life? I guess music is a big part of that, playing guitar, you know, writing songs and stuff. And sometimes I'll play at open mics, which really helps. That's like, even last night,

I just played at one at a place in Charlottesville. Yeah, playing music is very, very rewarding for me. And I have no, you know, brand-dose ideas. I'm, you know, not going to be like totally. split to anything, but I do think one day hopefully I can maybe write for mouse and wines for somebody for an artist of some degree, you know, and especially children's stories. That's great. So tell me a little bit about two children's stories.

What kind of stories are they, and what are you writing about? They're all a little bit different, but I would definitely say the overall arching thing at the end of it is hope. Like there's one about Earl the Sporill and you, the little kid helps him. find is he gets hit on the head by an apple and a little kid, you know, he goes around searching for acorns and the kid helps them. Like at the end of the story, for instance, it goes, and whenever you see a squirrel that hops, know that God loves for you never ever stops, you know, so stuff like that. And that's just a little line, but it has a message of hope and that, um, I think the kids need that nowadays. Yeah, that's great. It gives a lot of kids a lot of hope. And it's good that you're

writing it. So how many books have you written so far? I would say probably I've written like almost 500 songs, but the children stories have written a lot of poetry, like hundreds of poems, but I would say only maybe like five or six children stories, but I'm really going to try to start hitting the ground running more of it. Have you got them published yet? No, no.

I've only got one thing published, and that was a poem when I went to community college. They selected my poem. That's great. It gives you inspiration to keep moving forward in doing bigger things. Hopefully, God willing, I'll have more time to kind of realize some of my dreams. But another thing that, like you said, that for coping, like spirituality is big.

And the 1st Corinthians 13, like the Love Chapter. And sometimes, like, you can do all these things, but if you don't have a good heart, like, it's worthless. So I try to always remember that. And also, you know, humility is a big thing, too. And the Latin word for humility is hummus, you know, which means like living earth or of the earth and that reminds us like when we're humble like grounded in the earth you know usually mental illness feeds off at least for me it to pet off my ego or like you know everyone's out to get me

me me me but when you're humble it almost disarm it helps me disarm my mental illness you know that's very interesting i've never heard it quite put that way but that's really a great way to look at and i'm glad that you can so what would you like to tell the listeners about your journey the things that they should know about what you're doing, what you're trying to do, what your future looks like, anything that you think is important that they hear? Well, it's almost kind of like Job, you know, a lot. You know, the car crash and then the cancer, and in 2009 after the car crash, I had my first psychiatric episode and I was AIDS three times by coughs and my kidneys almost failed and I had a, I was at on the top of the world, I had a scholarship, I was at West Point.

and then, you know, two months later, ours and a little jail cell for, like, two days. But then it's just a very long story. But I guess, I guess, you know, hope is a very important thing, you know, and just to, like, believe in yourself and that you're, I mean, just look at your hand. Like, it's such a beautiful, you know, thing. And if I could say anything, it's like hope is a beautiful thing, but it's very fragile. It's almost like a, like a votive candle and a heart. and this world's especially now it's always been but it's just so windy and that hope gets blown

out so i'll just say protect the hope in your heart and and just take it moment by moment really or day by day you know because that's all you can do yeah that's a great point now before all this happened you kind of took life for granted i mean you're not the only one a lot of people do it they never think about tomorrow they only think about today it's a hard reality to a admit that life is that precious and that fragile at times. So what's your mindset now on the way that you look at life compared to how you looked at it before any of this stuff ever happened to you? I would say it kind of goes back to the middle of the aspect. And also, when I do something, I just don't do it to get it done. I do try to do it with a good heart, you know. And I try

to see other people too. Before all this happened, I was almost kind of, whether be culture conditioning or whatever, but I was a little bit just desensitized. But now, like, when I go check out the store, I see the clerk, you know, and I, and they're human beings too, you know, and sometimes I guess I would take that for granted in the past, you know what I mean? To actually just to see other people and kind of have empathy, a lot of people on the surf, you know, billions, it's not all about me, really, but little acts of kindness. Those are some of the realizations I've had is just humility, empathy, little acts of kindness, and when I do something, life is short, so I might as well try to, the best you can to deal with love, you know, because out of all the religious

teachings, they try to stress that. Yeah, those are great words to live by. Now, with all this has happened, everything that you've gone through, your parents, your brother, have you mended fences? Have they gotten back to where everything smoothed out and livable now? Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. You know, they say actions speak louder than words, and I've definitely been kind of just speaking with my action more often than not. So I'm going to turn 37 in August, you know, some children stories. And I don't know, I have hope for the future. But yeah, to answer your question, yeah, my family, they didn't give up home. And so that's just another aspect of how fortunate and blessed I am. Yeah, that's just awesome. Well, I really appreciate you taking the time to come on the show today. Yeah, well, thanks for doing that. That's important.

Thanks, Tony. It's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know someone who has a story to share, tell them to contact us at why not me. One last thing, spread the word about why not me. Our conversations, our inspiring guests, this show you are not alone in this world.