Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Beth Pilchik: Navigating the Dual Path – Advocacy and Motherhood in the Realm of Neurodiversity

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

Send us a text Beth Pilchik opens up about her powerful journey as both a publicist dedicated to businesses serving neurodiverse individuals and as a mother navigating the often turbulent waters of raising an autistic child. From the poignant moment of her son Matthew's diagnosis to the daunting task of finding the right educational programs and early interventions, Beth's story is one of resilience, love, and perseverance. Tune in to hear how she confronted the emotional and practical challenges head-on, all while shedding light on the significant gaps in resources available to parents just a decade ago. Managing multiple co-existing conditions such as autism, ADHD, ARFID, and sensory processing issues can feel like an insurmountable challenge, but Beth shares a wealth of practical strategies that have proven invaluable for her family. Listen to her insights on establishing structured routines, creating tailored sleep schedules, and maintaining open communication with educators. Beth also details her approach to overcoming ARFID through incremental food introductions and emphasizes the need for a balanced approach that merges structure with emotional support. Her goal-oriented mindset offers a beacon of hope and practical advice for other parents facing similar challenges. Beth's narrative doesn't stop at the trials; it also celebrates the triumphs of raising a neurodiverse child. Revel in the stories of Matthew's achievements, from his bar mitzvah to his creative exploits in drawing and world-building. Discover the deep bond between Matthew and his younger brother Miles, and how they connect through shared activities like Fortnite. Beth underscores the importance of community, sharing resources, and the joy that comes from embracing neurodiversity. Her heartfelt advice emphasizes adaptability, the power of a strong support network, and the enduring value of kindness, leaving listeners with a sense of gratitude and a renewed perspective on the beauty of neurodiversity. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me the World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World. Today I'm joined by Beth Pilchick. She's a publicist and marketing strategist who focuses on promoting

businesses that cater to neurodiverse individuals. Most importantly, she is also a mother of an autistic child. So thanks for coming on. Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity. Oh, it's my pleasure. I understand that you have an autistic son. What led you to get him diagnosed for autism? So I have two children. They are five years apart.

And when my youngest son, Matthew, was 18 months, my husband said to me, you know, he's not talking like Miles. He's not learning his letters like Miles. When you go to the pediatrician, can you mention it? What I didn't realize was my younger son Matthew never slept. He was eating an uncontrollable amount of food and formula and he was always moving around, but he was not communicating or doing other things.

So I went to the pediatrician for his 18-month checkup and, you know, we would talk about things. And I said, you know, Evan wants me to bring this up to you. He wants me to make sure you know he's really not saying mama, dad, dab, boat, whatever words that he was. would say. She looked at me and she said, so interesting, fathers never say anything. At first, she said, I'll wait to least two. And then she said, wait, no, fathers don't say anything. Go to a speech pathologist now. Here's the name. And a week later, I made an appointment with a speech pathologist in New York. He looked at me and said, here's a pad of paper and a pen. I want you to write everything down. And I want you to be very prepared for what I'm going to say to you. We were talking. We were

talking and she gave me the list and she goes, you're going to call early intervention and you're going to tell them that you need to help. And I said, oh, okay. And I didn't know. I mean, you want to talk about clueless. From that moment on, they said, oh, we think he's autistic, but don't tell anyone. And I looked at them and I said, excuse me? And they said, well, we can't tell you. You know, we can't put it in writing. We can't put it in our reports after they did some testing. I told us to my husband and my husband said, no, if you're going to label someone, get it right. And I called them back and I said, I'll be really honest with you. If you think my son is autism, I need to know, I need you to put it in the report, and I need to know what to go from here. And that's how we knew.

Okay. So how long ago was that? So Matthew was going to be 13 in September. So that was about 11 years ago. Okay. So 11 years ago, the medical industry looked at autism completely different than they looked at at it today. How did they approach that? I mean, they used the word autism. Did they give you a path to tape? Because I've talked with others where they gave them a little booklet and just said, good luck. So because we were in early intervention and because we were in New York, and I think that actually had two really important paths for us, we were given speech and OT and something called a special instructor. We were just given that kind of therapy. We were not ever given ABA at the time I had never heard of it. We were really just going through the,

I'm going to say, you know, the public school path. He couldn't go to, you know, nursery school. So we would, you know, take him to classes and do things. We didn't even realize Matthew never slept for seven years. I didn't sleep, freedom to sleep through the night until he was seven. I didn't realize all the workarounds that I had created and had been created until he had gone to a pre-K program and the pre-K program, which is a public school program. And because I was the president of the PTA in this public school because of my older son, they said to me, Beth, he needs to go to a special autistic program. I didn't know what that meant because, you know, Matthew was speaking more and he had a lot of high promise. I personally thought he was going to get into like some gifted and

talented program with a para. And that would be my life, as I had seen others do. He wasn't nonverbal, like, you know, friends of mine who had nonverbal children with autism, a totally different path. And it wasn't until he was in that program for children with autism that I really saw he needs more support. I don't know what I don't know. And that's kind of when I, I don't want to say I had a nervous breakdown, but I had a nervous breakdown. Yeah, yeah. Another thing that I hear lots of times is when a parent finds out that their son or daughter is autistic, it's just so very over. for them. They don't know the process. They don't know the steps to take. They're just in complete

disarray. So now you found that he's autistic. You've got him in the pre-K. So what was your next steps? So the steps were whatever I was being fed by, you know, what I learned from early intervention. You're right. It was 11 years ago. So Google wasn't Google and the resources weren't the resources. And I only knew what I knew. As I watched Matthew self-destruct in this class, you know, running around the school, taking off his clothes, you know, not, you know, screaming, not sleeping. I mean, eating an unbelievable amount of food. I mean, I just remember at one point, she was eating 50 ounces of formula. And no one thought that was a problem.

Finally, when he was in this public school program for kindergarten, I called a friend crying. And I'm not a person who cries. Like, I'm like, I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't understand. I knew there were private schools that were hundreds of thousands of dollars. a year. And I knew there were other supports, but I didn't know, A, how I was going to pay for them or how I get into them or what I do or any process. What ended up happening is two of my friends called their friends and got me a lawyer. And my lawyer, it was a special ed lawyer. And I remember

sitting in his office, hysterical crying. And he said, it's going to be okay. Let me give you the path. And the path was, we are going to help figure out if this public school is going to work. And if it's not going to work. We're going to help figure out a school for you to go to and other supports. And that's where I learned about after school related services and applied behavioral analysis. And I learned about speech and OT and how it works. And then I realized there's parent training. And all of a sudden. And then I realized in New York there's the office for people with developmental disabilities and aid there. I was being led down this path. I was like, oh, I got it. And it really stabilized me because it helped stabilize my child. And the thing that we did was get Matthew sleeping.

Okay. And the school helped because when you don't sleep, it means you don't have the coping skills. Right. Never developed self-soothing skills. Really what is. It's part of active daily living. I could read every sleep trading manual in the book, but the truth is it wasn't going to work for my kid. Right. Through ABA and his school and after school, actually it was a lot of therapists. I think it was like five of those at this point. they taught me how to teach him how to sleep through the night. And interestingly enough, these therapists are still my therapist today. You know, Matthew's therapist, they're all having babies. They're on their third kids now, both of them.

One of the children was having trouble sleeping and said to Matt, man, my son won't sleep through the night. What do you think we should do? And Matthew goes, well, you know, I used to have trouble sleeping. And my mom used to give me Lego mini figures. And I think that you need to buy a light, a red light green light, keep it on this. Don't let your kid get out of bed and get them all these toys. And we all looked at him and we're like, yeah, Matt, that's how we got you to sleep. And it was fascinating.

So it was hard. I mean, let me tell you, this is a journey of tears and laughter and reflection. Every time I talk to a family who's just been diagnosed or who feels that they're stuck, I remember that day where I was crying. And I try to help them as best as I can. So once you got that all worked out, where did he go to school? Was it public or private? We were in public school and we got counseled out.

They basically are like, you need to leave. We can't support him. So then in New York, they didn't have another school for him to recommend. So I had to find a school. And then he went to private school where we have to sue the Department of Education for his education program, which includes his in school. and then after school services to help make up throughout the day. And he's been, Matthew's been at now three schools since he's at his third school now.

And because of all the therapy, he's in a less restrictive environment every few years. So it's really amazing, but it's hard work. He has therapy six days a week. So did he have a problem within the school system? I know a lot of kids have issues with bullying. How was that for him? So yes and no. When he was in kindergarten and public school, he's actually more aware of others than I think even today we're learning how aware he is.

He didn't have the language on top of his autism. He has ADHD. He has ARFID, which is a feeding disorder. He has sensory processing. He has another speech and learning disability. So there's a lot of co-conditions. You know, while neurotypical children didn't bully him, he was put in positions where he wasn't, you couldn't see perspective taking or, you know, child wasn't nice or he wasn't, you know, nice because of language and other stuff.

It's also been educators don't always act in the best way that they should. Really is another job of just being so self-aware. And I think from public school to where my son is now, they know, you know, if Beth Pilcher calls or she's at school or something happens, I'm going to communicate. I'm very transparent. And the more language he has, better it is for all of us. But it's been a journey. So the thing that you just brought up about how he learned to sleep and how he helped the other kid with sleeping,

did you find by doing that that he became more focused and really zoned in on learning that ability to gain that sleep pattern? How have you seen him evolve from the beginning part of that to where he is now? Oh, well, there are goals. You know, we have specific goals of what we're working on. Sleep was a multi-year, multi-step program. For some, it was, you know, this is what night would look like. He used to get up in the middle of the night, and I would be sleeping in my kitchen, and I would walk him back in.

And I couldn't talk to him. And then he would sleep through the night. And then he would sleep through two nights. The best is daylight savings, because now he knows what is daylight savings. He puts himself to bed. I mean, he knows that the system is there and the clock isn't there anymore, but he knows, oh, and we also played, this was I think the most interesting thing for his sleep.

We played with what time he could go to sleep. So many kids parents would be like, oh, 7.30, 8.30. Matthew is a 10 o'clock boy. He goes to 10, he wakes up at 6. That's it. If I get 615, it's a miracle. But 10 o'clock, he puts himself to bed. So that was part of the system.

But no, we are very much a fact-based, goal-based, rule-based process. because that's how Matt's mind works. I don't know if you know about arid, but it's called avoidance restrictive intake disorder. A very small percentage of people, a lot of autistic, will have it. And he's afraid of food. So one of the things that we are doing is we're getting him a different type of feeding therapy.

Part of it is his mouth muscles are weak. Part of it is exposing him. About two weeks ago, I actually told him he had orphaned. It dawned on me. He didn't know. I was talking to his school today, just having, you know, an end of your conversation and all this stuff. And they said, you know, Matt, he says, I'm afraid of food. I'm afraid of this. I'm afraid of cereal. I'm afraid of milk. I'm afraid of pasta. And that's why he can't go in a lunch bunch or do this. I didn't know he was telling people this. So what we kind of do is linear. For others, it could be different. But it's how I plan everything. So is he over the fear of food or how is that working for him now? He's not over it. I don't think he ever will be. But I think, what we're trying to do is introduce different foods to him at different textures.

We're trying to introduce different sizes. Like I'm literally giving him food the size that a toddler would eat. Everything is, like today was a perfect example. They had a student gala at his school. And his schedule was off. And he liked Subway sandwiches. The interesting thing about Subway is he has it every day, but he didn't have it today. He got home from school and he was a little off.

And before I met with you, I go, Matt, you need your subway? And he goes, yes. And I said, okay, he's still afraid and he still has his comfort food. Right. But we're trying. We're really trying and figuring out how to help him. It's hard. Yeah.

So it sounds to me like he's into a schedule that really helps him from day to day. Well, it's previewing. It really is thinking about what he can do so that. that it's taking care of and making sure he's prepared. I said to him today, you know, school ends at 1230 tomorrow. You're not going to go home on the bus. I'm going to take you to feeding. We're going to try steak tacos.

I just want you to know. He was like, oh. And I'm like, great. Or when he's off from school, he needs to go on vacation. Even if it's somewhere, he needs that breakup. So I think a lot of it is just being really honest. about the process and being really not emotional. I didn't expect him to come home from this party and freak out by not having a subway.

He needs the structure. And he also needs the grace that he's allowed to have emotion. That's one of the things that I have come to learn is, wait a minute, he still has emotions. And he's still a person and he can still be pissed at you. Even though he has a communication disorder, it's hard. harder for him to communicate, I have to help him communicate. Sometimes we give him a blank piece of paper. Sometimes we give him an iPad. Sometimes we give him things to type. You know, we give him the ability to communicate in different ways so that he's not angry and using his emotions. And I learned from him. I'm like, you know, maybe I need a break. Maybe I need to go a walk. Maybe, you know. Okay. So you bring up emotions. It's a well-known fact that some autistic people have meltdowns. Now, when his meltdowns hit that meltdown stage, is it one of those meltdowns that you have to really watch out or is it just he's ticked off? So when he was a child, like five or six, they were very, very, very volatile.

We conducted a neuropsych. We learned that he had this speech and language learning disability on top of everything else. That is what the issue was. He didn't have the words. So we give him the words now. In all honesty, he rarely has crazy meltdowns. Oh, we're an ABA family. We're a DBT family.

We're a CBT family. So what that really means is what's the antecedent? What is coming before the outburst? And then what's the consequence of it? So if we can break it up, whatever it might be, that's the helpful. We were at our beach club this weekend. And Matthew wanted an ice cream sandwich, which by the way is a new food. And that's what he wanted.

And every time he would order. they wouldn't have it. So on Saturday, we went to the Beach Club and I go, Matthew, come on. He's like, what? I'm like, we're going to go to the ice cream dance and we're going to see if they have it and stop. And if they do, you can get it later. And if they don't, we can look for a part two.

I don't want it to upset you. I want you to be prepared. And he was calm. He wasn't hungry. And we went up and I said, do you want to ask her or do you want me to ask her? He goes, lady, do you have the rectangular ice cream that has ice? And I'm like, are you referring to an ice cream sandwich? Maddy goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, do you have an ice cream sandwiches today? And I was ready for no. And she goes,

yes, I do. I go, great. I go, Matt, they're back in stock. He goes, great. I'll see you later. What I did was, I cut it off. I cut it off before it started. When I told my husband, he goes, oh, that was such a good idea. I said, yes, because he was calm. We were asking. Didn't want now. And then I gave him money and I let him buy it later. It's interesting language, whether it's verbal or nonverbal written through a device, whatever it is, is so vital to self-regulation. I've learned that. I think I've learned that from nonverbal kids more.

I've learned it for my own. So he's 11 years old now? Is that correct? He's all, no, he's 12 and a half. Oh, okay, 12 and a half. So what's he do for fun now, just to sit back, chill, relax, and not have any worries? I don't think he ever not worries. I think he's always in a constant state of something.

But he likes to play video games. He likes to watch YouTube videos. He likes to bounce on a yoga ball. He can do tricks that I've never seen on a yoga ball. He likes to go down the slide and swing on a swing. That is really his thing. And he likes routine. So for him, he eats the same things when he's home.

He's becoming more comfortable in having a sense of humor or realizing what a joke is. Right now he's very into puberty. He's like, mom, puberty is? And I'm like, yes, do you? So it's interesting to see his humor. He does want to be social. So he's trying to talk to people. For him, he's like, I need to relax.

And it'll be in front of some kind of technology. He does have a phone so he likes to text certain people. So he texted me today. I'm ready to be picked up for my gala, you know, which a normal kid would say. You know, a neurotypical kid. He's a funny kid. He's not a kid who's going to say, I love you a lot or I love you mom. He'll say certain things.

It's like, you know. Okay. So you've seen him evolve in the last 12 and a half years. He's grown becoming his own person. Where do you see him, say, five years from now? That's the question. I have seen such growth and development in the past couple of years just in the different schools that he's been in.

That's the plan. I don't know. You know, I think that he's, I don't know. You know, I think that he has rules for himself, so I have to see what rules he'll give him. I hope he will be someone independent. I hope he will be somewhere on his own in some capacity. I have no idea.

I hope he can learn how to eat in a restaurant without me. And I think that's what he hopes. I think it's two step forward, three step back, four step forward. You know, we're getting ready for his bar mitzvah. And if someone told me that Matthew could read Hebrew, I mean, I can't. He can. If someone told me that three years ago, I would have laughed at them.

So I hope the world is his oyster, but I don't know. It's going to be very controlled. But I don't know. I think it's going to be a structured place, a structured job. I don't know. I mean, he had a job in his school. They have jobs at school. And he was first in the library and he quit.

it was boring. So then he was unemployed and then he had to apply for another job. And he applied for a job as the laptop technician. And he goes, Mom, when there's nothing to do, it's really boring. So I think whatever it is, he has to be busy. And I'm hoping, I'm hoping. But you never know. Now, didn't you tell me at one point in one of our conversations that he's like the poster child for certain things in New York? I think it was something to do with Apple. advertising. I just can't remember. Oh, oh, yeah. So, yeah, so whenever, you talk about the bus, about the buses? Yeah, I think that was it. So many years ago, so by trade, I'm a marketing strategist and publicist.

Many, many years ago, there were issues with the New York City buses as they, I mean, you know, school buses, as there always are. Right. A reporter was looking for a family to interview. And Matthew and I were available because I am not, I'm transparent. So if you want to know, or I will tell you anything, whether it's the good or the vet. So they interviewed us for the buses and Matthew and I were on the news and then many years later we were on the news again. And it's funny, whenever there's a bus story, they use B-roll from Matthew. And the truth is, we might have helped the bus situation a little bit. Well, that's great.

So now as a mother, you're seeing him grow. You're seeing him do all these things that you didn't really think that he could do, but has overcome. So what do you see for his talent? Does he have an underlying talent that you can see that can grow as he gets older? You know, he draws very nicely and creates these worlds. He created a fake Pokemon game on paper and he has different worlds. You know, he equates autism with having a vivid imagination. And he once said that.

So I'm hoping he's in some kind of creative field of. field of some sort. I don't know what that is because you have to be structured in his life. I think teaching him to be flexible, I hope will help. You know, my son is going to college for game design. So maybe he'll learn from maybe Matt and Miles will learn together or do something together. I don't know. I think the most important thing for me is having him follow his passion, having him learn to be kind.

I think in his mind there are so many options he can't choose. So I just have to help him figure out how to do that. He loves animals and he loves, you know, it's interesting. You never know what comes out of his head. Okay. You just brought up another great point, and that's his brother. Yeah. There's five or six years difference, right?

Yep. So how do they get along together? What's their dynamic like? You know, they're brothers. Also, Matthew has no problem being in his own world. So Miles will try to associate with him and do things with him. And they play right now they're playing Fortnite together. And it's very funny because they do it on two different computers in two different rooms.

And I had no idea about it. And I could watch. So I think they have a very funny relationship. And I think Matthew, again, being black and white, if Miles is annoying, Miles is annoying or Miles needs a hug. or it's very transactional. But I think in so many ways, it'll be interesting in September when Matthew, you know, Miles isn't here, how Matthew handles that dynamic and that change. Right.

Yeah. So is there anything that I've missed that you think needs to be brought to attention, anything that you think might help others out there? You always have to be on your toes. You know, I think that, and you have to be. I mean, I try not to beat myself up on the fact that I might make a mistake or I might miss it and I try to utilize my team. You never know. And I think that that is, and my team can be people I knew a thousand years ago. So I think that would be my advice is what you see today is not what

tomorrow is going to be. You see in five years is not what yesterday. You know, you, it's, It's going to be okay and you're going to be okay and it's not easy. And I think my favorite bit of advice is trust also your friends that don't have special needs children. I have amazing conversations with my friends whose kids are, you know, mainstream or more neurotypical. And I remember giving advice to my really good friend whose child was going off to college. And this was many years ago.

And she was terrified what he was going to do and how. Howie was going to do it. And I said to her, oh, my goodness, you're like me in June. And she's like, why to go? Every June when the school year starts, because Matt goes to school year round, I said, I'm always treading water. How's this class going to be? How's the transition going to be?

What's the bus going to be like? Is it going to eat? Is he going to be friends? What's his teacher going to be like? And it's going to take me six weeks for me to learn how to float. After that, I then swim. I said, the same is true for you. In six weeks, your son will be in college.

You'll know if he knows how to do laundry. You'll know if he goes to his classes. You'll know if he made friends. And then you can sleep with one eye open. And actually, I spoke about it with that friend the other day. And she laughed. She didn't remember the story. And I'm like hanging on to it, you know, for years.

And that would be it. It's like, cut yourself some slack. Right, right. So do you, have you noticed where your son love to have a situation of where everything is kind of laid out, kind of planned out, structured.

And then all of a sudden, just the structure's there, the plan's there, and then like anything else, you have a bump in the road where something just throws it off course for a brief minute or a brief 10 minutes or however.

How does he react to that to get back to that structure? You know, I think we try to, we try to teach him to tell us what's going. on. I think we had that situation. Yes, it was last week. He had his, you know, 13 year old checkup. You know, we took him to the doctor. And, you know, I had warned him and done it. And then all of a sudden we're walking over there and he goes, mom, don't want a shot. I don't want to get blood. And I realized at that moment, I normally bring a therapist with me to do that. Where I have a social story to prepare him. And oh my goodness, this is a new doctor that he hasn't met before. And I realized as I'm walking, because we live in New York City, I'm walking these four blocks to the doctor.

This is going to be interesting. This is going to be interesting. And I started to prep him. And all of a sudden we get into the doctor. And Matthew goes, I hope I don't need a shot. And I go, I don't know. You might. You're going to be 13.

And he said to the nurse, do I need a shot? And she goes, no. And then it was, Matt, we need to check your eyes. And he goes, great. My mother forgot my glasses. And he took me and he goes, now what? And I looked at him and I go, oh, forgot your glasses. I totally forgot.

And I couldn't leave because I didn't have anyone with me. I said, stay tuned. And I called my husband, who happened to been working home. And I said, go in Matt's backpack. Get me his glasses. We need them now. And I just looked at him. And he goes, dad's on his way.

He goes, dad's coming. You forgot my glasses. And now you're calling him to caught. And he's like going off on me. And he goes to the nurse, I really should have had my glasses. And you could see he was nervous. And that's how he was not cursing. and he wasn't screaming and he went.

And then when the glasses showed up, he goes, okay. And it was so, that's what we try to do. I mean, that's a long-winded story and I'm sorry, but there's no problem. All right. So now you've told me how he's developed, how he's evolved. Let's turn this around a little bit. When you first found out, you was in this black hole of not knowing what to do. And now you're pretty much the guru of how things go.

How have you changed and evolved and how have you known? noticed that you've changed. Oh, I'm a completely different human being. I went from an area of complete fear and ignorance and empathy to information, advocacy, care, and joy. Like, my child is amazing. And the lens of which his life has made our family even better. By the way, it's hard. Like I'm not saying it, you know, the lawsuits every year and the fighting every, you know, everything I need to do to make it get to this way. But I couldn't imagine our life any different. And I think my family, I'm saying extended family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, I think they are better for it because we've all learned. How do you eat dinner with someone who's underneath the table because he can't see the food?

I love helping other people not feel the uncertainty and the shame and the embarrassment of the labels. My son's on medication. That's part of his modality, one of the modalities. I love saying to, you know, talking to families about that process or helping find resources. I don't think I would have worked with as many neurodiverse centric businesses if I didn't. You know, it is just made me more joyful. lucky the other families that I've met whose children have different strengths and weaknesses than my child. My favorite statement is, and I have a lot of friends whose kids are nonverbal. And I say to my

friends, your kids can do things that my Matthew will never do. And it's true. They can. Because they're always looking at the things Matthew can do that their child could do, but they don't realize on the other end of that, it's the same way. The same way. So I am, while I worry about different things and I worry, don't get me wrong. I am so grateful to the life and the community and the people that I've met because of a diagnosis that my son has, a label that people have. And people look at them and look at us and I don't care. But it's interesting. It's really, it's a blessing for myself because I could only imagine what my life would have been like if I didn't have Matthew. I can't even imagine. You know, it's true. Yeah, well, this has really been great. I appreciate

you coming on the show. Thank you. Oh, the pleasure's all mine. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to tonymentor.com. Contact then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask, tell everyone everywhere about why not me the world, the conversations we're having, and the inspiration our guests give to everyone, everywhere, that you are not alone in this world.