Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Bridget Hampstead's Journey: Autism, Community, and Radical Love

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Send us a text Bridget Hampstead shares her journey from discovering her own neurodivergence to founding Fish in a Tree, a virtual community center supporting neurodivergent adults. Her work combines community building, political advocacy, and neuroaffirming practices to create spaces where late-diagnosed autistic individuals can find acceptance and belonging. • Founded Fish in a Tree after realizing neurodivergent people lacked community support • Pivoted from physical center to virtual programming, expanding reach nationwide • Faced challenges with neurodiversity language acceptance in the Deep South • Represented the US at UN's World Autism Awareness Day despite censorship • Increasingly focused on political advocacy as disability rights face new threats • Programming specifically resonates with late-diagnosed autistic women • Writes daily on neurodivergent topics while seeking funding to address critical issues Connect with Fish in a Tree at www.fishinatreeNOLA.org. You are so loved and a warm welcome awaits you at Fish in a Tree, where we see you, we get you, you are valid and you are the person of honor at our table.   https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World. Joining us today is Bridget Hampstead, founding director of Fish in a Tree, an organization

dedicated to supporting and championing neurodiversity in New Orleans and surrounding areas. Prior to Fish in a Tree, she was awarded activists. of the year in 2003 and became U.S. representative to the UN for World Autism Awareness Day 2004. She possesses a wealth of knowledge and we are honored to have her on the show. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, I'm happy to be here with you. So can you tell me, how did you get involved in what you're doing now? So I'm an ADHD person myself and just because of my own neurodivergence and my experience, my kind of,

what I thought was a very unique experience of my neurodivergence. I'm coming to learn is not so different from other late diagnosed autistic women. What began me on that road. And then I was working for a big name disability organization, spearheading a program that was training and educating autistic youth, encoding and computer languages, and then we were finding them jobs in the tech industry. And I was left to my own devices to spearhead that program. And so I set it up as a neuroaffirming program. And what I found was that we could get people trained and get them jobs. And that kind of

wasn't an issue. The issue was them keeping the jobs once they got them because the companies that were receiving them were not prepared to accommodate them or to manage them in a way that worked for them. You know, I was kind of struggling with how do we prepare employers to take these people on and is what we're doing ethical, like training people and finding them jobs that they can't keep? Is that useful to anyone at all? And so I was really struggling with that. And I went to a conference in Italy with my partner. and the conference brought together indigenous and First Nations peoples from all over the world. And a lot of the conference was about food, food ways and natural ways of producing food and cultural ties to food and stuff.

Even though that was kind of the topic of the conference, what ended up being the real topic of the conference, underlying everything that everybody talked about were communities, these communal ways of mutual aid and taking care of every member of the society and people coming together to help in one area because they weren't able to do something in a different area and that was responsibility of a different group. And it was all about community and celebrating identity and authenticity and being a part of a community. It really hit home for me and to see all these people from all over the world talking about the importance of community. And I was really hit hard by the fact that as a neurodivergent person who was raised by people who told me that was a shameful secret and never to share that with anyone, I realized that I had no community and that I suspected that there were other neurodivergent people out there who also didn't have a community. And that's where the idea for a virtual neurodivergent community center came from.

That was my takeaway from the conference was this idea of like, we have to do this. And I don't know who's out there and I don't know who this will resonate with, but it just became this thing that I had to do. So when I came back from the conference, we founded Fish in a Tree. And I left my position at the nonprofit to run Fish in a Tree. and it's really taken off. That's great. Once you had it started, what came next?

We started with the physical center here in New Orleans. We kind of found that most people that were coming were actually more interested in virtual options. And so we pivoted and we let go of the space, the physical space. We pivoted to have all of our programming online. and it increased our reach. So now we have people from all over the country and in some cases some international people

who participate in all of our programming that's grant funded, so it's at no cost to people. And it's been going really well. It's been growing, and we now have the blog. So there is an advocacy piece to what we're doing. And then we also do consulting. So we work with organizations that want to support our divergent people.

We work with music venues and theaters and festivals and parades that want to accommodate nerd divergent people. And so we do a lot of consulting work, which is kind of the, yeah, not the forward-facing part of the organization, which is the community center piece. But we do a lot of that in the background. When you started, what were some of the first challenges you faced in getting this going? Well, one of the particular sort of immediately apparent challenges was, that the language and the ideas of the neurodiversity movement and the neurodiversity perspective

have not quite trickled down all the way to the deep south. We're here based in New Orleans and not a lot of people use the language of neurodiversity to identify themselves and not a lot of autistic and ADHD and dyslexic adults are using neurodivergent language to understand themselves. And so it was hard to develop an audience because of the language we were using, but I didn't want to compromise on the language we were using to describe ourselves because that is what we are and what we're influenced by and what we adhere to. And so I didn't want to let go of that.

And I didn't feel comfortable using different language that I didn't agree with. So we held on to that. And it's been changing even over the last three years. A lot more people are coming or seeking us out using that kind of language. Another challenge was here in New Orleans there are several organizations that serve autistic youth. And not all of them are neuroaffirming organizations. But there's a lot of stuff out there. And there are a lot of resources, good or bad,

or helpful or unhelpful for very young autistic people and their neurotypical parents, mostly. And so that's what everybody assumed that we did. So we were lumped into, you know, kind of like, oh, well, you're over there with the, with the ABA providers. And so it was really a struggle to be like, that's not who we are and that's not what we do. We do have a couple of programs that are for youths and families. But most of our work focuses around, neurodivergent adults from a neuroaffirming perspective and an approach. We had to really sell that out a lot and we keep having to explain that. But it's been good.

The response, when people hear that and then they get it, or it spurs a discovery of their own and then they come to us, it's been good. So there was a time where things didn't seem to be landing, but this is our third year and they seems to be hitting a lot more with people. What were some of the things that you found that you had to do so you could get the word out there so people could see the difference in what others do compared to what it is that you do? You know, we had to kind of let go of trying to compare ourselves to what existed and trying to like make that distinction for people. That was originally how we were approaching it.

This is this and we are this and we are different from this. It almost sounded from a third party as like a kind of a unnecessary conversation or like a petty conversation. So we had to let that go and just focus on explaining who we were and what we did and how we were informed by neuroaffirming practices. And just let that sit with people. because some of the people that we talked to in year one who were like, no, that's not for me or no, I'm not, I don't identify that way, have come back in year two or year three and said, I heard more about that from other sources or I went into doing some research on my own. I've come to this on my own and now I'm back. So try to find our own way and develop our own brand and kind of not really apologize for it. Sure. Now, I've seen where you've done quite a few things yourself. I think I saw that you was activists of the year in 2003. I see where you were involved with the UN last year. Can you expand on what that was about? I did. Last year for autism acceptance month, April, and the day was

April 2nd. I believe the United Nations was having an event as they do every year for autism acceptance. And I was invited as the United States representative. I was one of two to talk about the state of the autistic experience in this country and to talk about the very current issues affecting autistic people and how we need to address those issues. I was on a panel of other representatives from North America. And we were asked ahead of time some questions that could have been, the answers could have been books. They could have been a series of books addressing just these very almost simple questions. And then we had to reduce our answers into like 20 second responses, which to write in a concise way takes more time than to create any expanded way. So I took a lot of time and care

to craft my answers. And I address things like the policing of autistic people in schools and issues facing autistic people in the current political environment and economy and what's currently going on for autistic people. And I enjoyed doing the work. I did, when I watched it back, when the UN was streaming it on their platform, I did notice. that I was edited. They did take out some of the things that I said. There was a call, my own personal call to the United States to abolish the practice of ABA therapy in this country. They took that out. And then I also talked about autistic suicide, the prevalence of autistic suicide, and the importance of addressing mental health care and its understanding of autism

and its approach towards autistic people. And that was a very important. also cut out. That's rather surprising. That's a big issue. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among autistic people around the world. So that does kind of surprise me. I don't. I'm not entirely sure of the reasons it was taken out and I don't know if the United Nations themselves took it out or if the third party between me and the United Nations that was putting the videos together took it out. But yeah, those were two of the most important things I had to say. And they were cut out. Other things were left in that I feel good about. Well, that's good. At least some positive came out of it. Now, when you speak at a form of that magnitude,

it gives you the opportunity to network. Did you find yourself having the ability to network with people that you just didn't realize that you'd have the chance to in any other situation. Absolutely. I still, the panel of like six people that I was on with and the organizers of the panel and the moderator of the panel and I are in a group chat and have been for, you know, since last year, when we all got together to film the panel. And we still talk to each other, you know, probably almost every day. Hey, did you hear about this? Hey, this is going on.

Hey, I've written this thing. What do you think? It's been a great sense of community for me to connect with other neurodiversity advocates kind of across the North American continent. It's been great. And then it's also brought me in contact with a lot of people who, you know, saw the stream. and reached out to connect. And it's turned into some great side projects

and definitely meeting some really good people. Nice. That's always great to meet new people and network so that you can grow your initiatives of what you're trying to do. So what's next? You've done all this advocacy. You started fishing a tree. What's next on your agenda?

What do you see in your future? Well, you know, that's a big thing. That's a great question. I think when I was planning on what was next, it didn't occur to me that the political climate would change so drastically and so quickly and be continuously evolving day by day in such a extreme way. So I'm really trying to at this time kind of look at what my goals were for this year from last year and reassess. those based on what's really affecting our community right now and what's really affecting even my own family. I have a fully neurodivergent and gender diverse family. And a lot of what's going on directly impacts members of my family and myself. And so I'm really thinking about and looking into and connecting with people about how do we influence legislation and how do we fight back and what do we

need to do politically. So I wouldn't really say that my work was political. I wouldn't have said that. Past me wouldn't have said that my work was political, but I'm learning that just existing and my family existing is political now. So definitely looking into how do we influence legislation in a real way and in an immediate way. So that and then also, how do we expand fissionatry thoughtfully to reach more people that are resonating with the mission of fissionatry? We're really noticing that the people that come to us, the vast majority of them, are late-identified, late-diagnosed autistic women, is people that read our website

and want to participate in programs and sign up. up for things. So we're really thinking about do we double down on that and start tailoring our programming specifically for that group, or do we continue to grow in different directions, serve a lot of different facets of the neurodiversity community? So it's a lot to think about right now. Currently, we're adding new programming monthly as we get funding. Evaluating our funding sources is now a huge thing that we have to do. So it's been crazy. These last three weeks have really kind of changed everything for us and we're, you know, trying to respond in the immediacy of the moment. But it's definitely taken some stepping away and some reflecting to get a

handle on what we need to be doing. I noticed you write a lot of posts, a lot of articles, a lot of blogs. Is this something you write for yourself? or does this reflect on fish in a tree and what you're trying to do there? I write every day. I write articles and expanded writings on many topics that are relevant to the autistic and neurodivergent community, many more than we are able to actively address in real time with fish in a tree programming. But as many articles as I write and as many topics that I write about, behind the scenes, I'm writing just as many grant applications to address those issues with Dishna Trees programming. So we are attempting to address everything I can find to talk about, but it takes a lot of manpower of people who get it here locally.

And like I said, those ideas haven't quite trickled down here. So finding people that really understand what we're doing and what we're about to work closely with has been not impossible, but it has been a struggle. What are some of the things that you've encountered that you're trying to work past so you can get to a better ending to continue what you're trying to do with your charity?

It just takes time to train people and to educate people and, you know, all that stuff. So we're definitely trying to address things like the school to prison pipeline for autistic kids and autistic suicide and suicidal ideation. There's been talks of a hotline for Vishinatry to run for autistic people specifically. All these things, there's talks, there's always stuff in motion, and we're doing our absolute best to in real time address these issues as they come up or as we're made aware of them.

But it takes a substantial amount of funding and finding the right funders and getting the funding and having the people to execute the programs. So we're still pretty tiny in that regard. Our staff is small and they all work remotely. So, you know, we're still trying to figure all that out. But, you know, if anyone listening, you know, is interested in any of this kind of programming and wants to talk about collaboration, we're very good. collaborative, we're very open to working with partners. We just want to provide the best resources and the best programming we can to our audience. Yeah, I think that's the best way you can do it. Keep working every day diligently, step by step. Then after a period of time, you look back and

you'll see a good body of work that you've created. The best fact, you're helping people. What would you tell our listeners that they need to hear and understand about what you're doing and how you're trying to help people with your programs. I think that our programming and all of the articles

that go into the blog and my writings that go out into the world through other publications, all of those offerings are my love letter to the neurodivergent community, everywhere in this country, especially. If I could address the neurodivergent community in this country right now, there's a lot going on that directly affects us.

There's a threat to 504. There's a threat to disability rights. There's a threat to disability under civil rights. If I could rally everyone to participate in local and national politics and to influence legislation where possible, I would definitely put that call out. But as far as fish and a tree and our offerings, I would just like to extend an invitation to people to look into what we're doing and to see if any of it resonates with them personally. The more demand we have for our programming and the more interest we have, the more we're able to do. A lot of things that we want to do that we can't do is because we don't have an audience yet. we don't have a big enough pool of potential participants.

Check out the website. It's w.fish in a tree, nola, nola.org. Connect with us. Send us an email. Let us know what you're interested in, what you'd like to see. We respond to every email that we get. I would just like to say that you are so loved. You are so loved.

and a warm welcome awaits you at Fishnetry where we see you, we get you, you are valid, and you are the person of honor at our table. Autistic people and neurodivergent people, you know, are often met with stigmatization and often met with suspicion, you know, for various reasons, and often met with this idea that they're somehow undesirable or unworthy. And we want to combat that with radical love and acceptance, which sounds easy and maybe a little hippie-dippy, but it's not easy.

And it's so necessary, especially with everything going on right now all around us. Yeah, I think that's a great message. the only thing that we can do now is have some hope, help each other out, and do our best to be kind. I think the best thing people can do right now is to stay healthy and to be joyous. As long as you have joy in your life, that's the best way to live. That's the best revenge is to live well. And the best way to combat all of this is to exist in an authentic way. great comments. This has been a great conversation, great information. I really appreciate you coming

on the show. Oh, it was a pleasure meeting you. Yes, it's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to tonymentor.com. contact, then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask, tell everyone everywhere about why not me the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone, everywhere that you are not alone in this world.