Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Clayden Botes :Turning Autism into Artistic Triumph

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

Send us a text Could you imagine the triumph of seeing your autistic child overcome numerous challenges to become a successful artist? On today's episode, we have the extraordinary Clayden Botes and his mother, Antoinette, all the way from South Africa. Diagnosed with autism at a tender age of six, Clayden's journey has been nothing short of remarkable. From grappling with reading and writing to sensory issues, his story is one of resilience and unfettered determination. Antoinette, his mother, paints a vivid picture of the trials and tribulations they faced, from the inadequacies of South Africa's school system regarding autistic children to the criticism she encountered stepping outside the conventional norms. But, oh boy! Did it pay off? Clayden's art business has grown from a local enterprise to an international sensation. And, it's only the beginning. We also get a glimpse of Clayden's creative process, his inspirations, and his artistic growth. To wrap up, we delve into Clayden's future plans (which include an illustrative artist career and a clothing business) and the importance of advocacy in the autism spectrum. We discuss Clayden's YouTube channel, Clayden's World. His story brings a glimmer of hope to many parents navigating similar challenges. Tune in, as we unravel a story of passion, resilience, and limitless possibilities, along with our inspiring guests, Clayden and Antoinette. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mayator. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World.

Today's guest is from South Africa, Clayton Motes and his mother, Antoinette. This story is one of inspiration that shows whatever you want to do, you can do. It tells the story of how Clayton has become a very well-known, artist, not only in his area, but gaining around the world. So welcome. I was like, yeah, we listened to your song this morning. Oh, my goodness. It's so. It's so nice. It's so nice. No, it's almost like you written, especially for Claydon, in the situation that we've been through the last three years. Oh, thanks so much. I really appreciate that. So let's start it off with when was Clayton diagnosed was autistic. Clayton was diagnosed at the age of six years old and he was diagnosed after,

you know, we went through all the OTs immediately. You know, what happened there is he was diagnosed and I was sent home with the script. What was your first thoughts when you was told of his diagnosis? I was kind of in denial because, you know, being a mom, you don't want to hear that they might be something wrong. You know, it didn't take me long to gather my thoughts and to get myself together and then read up what I needed to know and then take it from there. That's a great attitude to have. So Clayton, you were young, just learning. What was your thoughts on this? So when I was very young, I didn't really know I had autism. When I was six years old, my mom told me I had autism. I didn't really understand what it was. I can grasp the concept

of what autism was or what autism is. So throughout all those years, I'd had no idea at autism. The things I struggled with were reading and writing and sound and taste. Like, for example, I mean texture, so I couldn't eat certain types of foods. The only food that I'd eat was pasta. I slowly grew out of it. Struggled with sound a lot. I could only go to my first movie theater at the age of 10 because I dealt with it way more better. So those were the main things I struggled with with autism.

What was the school system like at that time? Was it public, private? What type of system did they have in place to allow you to have to have? a day-to-day schedule for him. So in South Africa, there is no schools for autistic children at all. The government, there is no government school for autistic children, and the schools that is available are mostly private schools. So what I have found as a parent, and I'm a single parent always have been, is you

will find a school and then the school fees will be double that, and the teachers are in no shape or form equipped to you with these children. That's just so unfortunate. So Clayton, if they weren't equipped, how did you find it and how did you handle it? It was only two teachers. One of their teachers in my class was really mean to me. And the other one was the principal. All the other teachers were nice to me and treated me well.

But I remember it was the last year at one of my schools. And the teacher there, the first year, she was fine. She didn't really say that much, but second year, she was really disrespectful and was treated me very badly. And because I couldn't read and write, she would kick me out the class because of that. And usually people of autism, they fidget and play around the things. And the way I would try to concentrate was by drawing. And because of that, she hated it and would kick me out of the class because of it. That's just so sad to hear.

Everyone is different. Everyone deserves a chance. She just didn't get what you was capable. of doing. Now, Antoinette, didn't you tell me about some interview about South African schools? The Minister of Education in South Africa. On the interview, she said the government has grossly neglected autistic children. There is no schools. That's when you decided to make a change for Clayton, correct? I took Clayton during COVID. I took Claden out of school. My son was not happy and, you know, the things that went on was not right. I can fully understand that. Now that

you're out of school, what changes have you seen, what's your day-to-day look like, and what's going on as far as your art? I think when I started doing, I've always done art at a very young age. Like, ever since I picked up a crayon, I just drew, it's just that I had school, homework, exams, and I didn't really have time to do that much art. But then when COVID happened, kids couldn't go to school because of what was going on there in time. pandemic and all of that gave me time to do more art. And I started spending more time drawing and really honing on my skills and becoming better at art.

But then when school reopened, it didn't completely reopen. There were days of the week where kids went to school, they couldn't go to school. Some days they would go to school. Some days it would get canceled. And there was just no order or structure because I have autism, I need structure in my life and I need things to be in order. otherwise I have anxiety. So I couldn't really deal with it that well.

So my mom decided to take me out of school because I was having a lot of anxiety and couldn't deal with it that well. And when that happened, my mom decided to sort the business. That's so good. I'm glad that it's working out well for you. How long has it been going?

How is it growing? And did you get any brushback for starting the business because that's not your normal, typical thing to do where people think that it should be in school? Yeah, so it will be three years next week since we started the business. And, you know, I've got a lot of judgment for taking time out of school.

But I decided that instead of letting my son go through another couple of years where, you know, he is struggling so much and he doesn't get the help he needs. And because society expects from me that he has to have this stamp to make him. acceptable in society, I decided to just ignore everything and to give him all the tools he needs. I mean, he's got the most amazing studio and to help him grow to become the best artist he can be, because that's going to be an artist. Another amount of degree or little piece of pipe that behind these now is going to make him a beta artist. I completely understand that. I remember when I was in school taking geometry, I thought, I want to be a musician.

Why am I doing this? So I totally get what you're saying. Then you add that he's autistic and you have to really do what you think is the very best thing for him at the time. So I understand that it's growing to a worldwide status now. Yes, now we've opened up actually, I'm from an accounting background. I am in no way, shape or form, an artist or any of that. So during COVID, I lost my job as well. I work for a massive company. And I started learning designs with. Clayton and it was always local and about three weeks ago because I had a I mean Taylor's got quite a nice following and people would ask can you please send to the USA

or to the UK or Ireland or wherever and it was just too expensive to send from here so I find a drop shipping company in the United States which I'm so thankful for so thankful and I started building a website so we've got an international website as well

now and And so, yeah, we are now international as from about three weeks ago. That's so good to hear. I just love to hear a success story. So when you sit down and decide that you're going to draw something, do you plan it out, map it out, or do you just go with your inner feeling? What inspires you to get it going? Mom, of course. I mean, but...

The thing about art is you did really... Inspiration is not the easiest thing to... really fine as an artist. You can spend days trying to get inspiration. You'll just get nothing out of it. It's just something you get out of the blue. Like you get inspired out of nowhere. The main thing that artists concentrate on

is not getting inspired, but motivation. Keeping the motivation to draw is the most important thing, not really the inspiration. So I guess the main thing I concentrate on is my motivation and not really where I get my ideas of way to draw. It's just something you just get out of the blue, and it's just one of the things you just stumble upon. I totally get that.

As a musician, it's the same thing. You can sit down and start writing and just get this mind block and nothing happens. Then all of a sudden, you're sitting aside, doing nothing, and you get inspiration to write something, and it can be just so really good for you. So let me change the question then. Who inspires you to do what you do?

I actually did have a lot of YouTubeers that I looked up to. There's still a couple of them I still look up to like Jolv Jazeera, 100. I do look up to those YouTube artists quite a lot. But your style is different from them. I mean, you've got your own style. That's a good thing. Everyone has to have their own style, their own way of doing things. then you build your audience from that.

Sliden, you know, he is very inspired. Like, for instance, Mr. B is Jimmy, you know, for the work he's doing. I mean, Sliden is just such a kind and soul. And he always wants to help people. So he always, you know, watch, because while he's drawing, he'll watch YouTube videos in the background

for him in order to do the odds. And he's constantly on his phone, watching these people and watching their journey. That's really good because that's just a way to expand by learning what other people are doing. One of the things I watch in the background are, it's a small, so these people that I watch in the background, they're called Wing Canvas. It's like a art school, a free art school on YouTube. They do live streams of them teaching you how to draw certain types of things, certain techniques like how they draw hair or how to create mechs or how to do textures like glass, iron, how to, which are water. And I usually watch those videos in the background and it helps a lot when it

comes to me trying to improve my art because it's still a lot of things I need to improve upon. And there's a lot of things I only get better at with art. Sure. It takes time to develop into what you're going to be and you're only 15 years old. So you've got a long way to go, but you're doing such a great job so far. So do you get a lot of emails requesting special custom orders or just any emails, just for orders? How's that going for you right now? Yeah, he gets, I mean, he's done quite a bit of nuggets for companies. He's done for schools. He's done work.

He's got customers that he does tattoo designs for, and that is now his next thing he wants to learn how to do tattoos. I think that would be great. I mean, there's a lot of art in tattoos, and there's a lot of people that want it. I've seen as designs, and they are just awesome. So you're a single mother. You're in South Africa. Do you have any friends or family that live close that can help you when you need it? I do have parents, but our dynamic is very, you know, we love each other, but they do their thing, they look after themselves.

We see them once a year. We are basically. We'll see them. And then Tyler's got two older brothers. One is 32, the other one is 30. And they're doing their own things. So, you know, Titan has always grown up only now in me. He only got to know his father when he was last year.

Okay, I've seen where on social media you promote yourself as autism is your superpower. So is that your slogan or do you haven't have something that you use to promote yourself as an artist? I guess one day me and my mom want to have a slogan for the business and we were just throwing ideas around and until we landed with, it's okay to be different and we decide to continue with that. then one day I ended up making a t-shirt, what had that slogan, so I could, so we could sell it as a t-shirt. And I really like that.

That's a great slogan because it fits. So you mentioned tattoos, so do you see yourself getting into tattoos and doing more in that line as well as your art as you keep moving forward? Yes. To be honest, what I do is there's a lot of things I'm going to do as an artist,

but I'm going to mainly concentrate and doing tattoos and YouTube videos because I can see people... I'm freelance work. Yeah, freelance. Because people who are freelance artists make quite a good amount of money. Absolutely do, because when someone can take an idea and turn it into something either on paper or on video

or whatever the form may be, it's a talent. And I've seen yours and you have that talent. So the creative process to me is the most enjoyable because you get to take and put all your work into it, you think about it, you do a lot of things. So what's your feeling after you've gone through the creative process and the work has finished? What's next? I just do another piece. Okay.

I definitely get that and totally understand. I do the art for the enjoyment and I do look at the piece and see all. I do look at the piece and see for its beauty. but to be honest, as an artist, you kind of spend so much time doing art that you're in the mindset of looking at the mistakes instead of the perfections. And I strive to find and improve my art. So every time I look at my art piece, I look at all the imperfections and try to be better as an artist. And the old pieces in the background, I don't really like the... No, he hates them. I love them.

Yeah, they're very old pieces done about like two or three years ago. So some of them are very old pieces and I can do way more better than that. Well, I love it because that's really what you need to be thinking. Any artist, singer, it doesn't matter what you do. You always want to do better than what you did before. When you do that, after a period of time, you create a body of work. People can look at it. You can look at it.

You can see how you've grown and it's just a good thing. So you must be really proud of him. Flemer's very critical. I'm the one going out and going, oh, look at this, look at my boy. He's so, but he's very humble. I'm the one that is just, we were walking in the shops and people would recognize him and he would want to walk away. I'm like, come he so come, come, go, let me tell you about my boy, because I'm so proud of him. Absolutely great thing to say, because as parents, we want to be proud of our kids. And when they're doing great work like Clayton is, then you've got a reason to. And being humble, That's nothing wrong with that at all and being critical.

There's nothing wrong with that at all. Because I'm so proud of him. But Clayton is so humble. I think that's the one thing that's very attractive, if I can call it that way, for him being such a young but such a brilliant artist. But Clyden is still so innocent, but so mature. And despite his artist, he's a public speaker as well. He goes to schools talking about bullying and talking about his journey.

And the other day, he was standing in front of 250. females, I almost died. He did so well. So he's talking about bullying and autism and, you know, he's just phenomenal. I think that's just great. Anytime that anyone can get up in front of 250 people tell their story, that's just inspiring. And it's helping people along the way and just don't know how you can change your life. Yeah, I think public speaking will be a good thing to do. Talk about autism and spring the awareness of it's going to be different and expressing how to deal with bullies and how to appreciate yourself will be a good thing for me to do. That is so true because what you're doing is not only helping people understand what autistic people

go through and why bullying shouldn't be out there, but you're going to inspire people to move up and try and do what you do so they can have a better life too. Now, let's get back to your art. I fully understand why you want to take and make sure that everything's just perfect. And when it's done, you go back and critique yourself and make it better. But what you're doing is creating a body of work where it's going to be outstanding. People won't see it but a minute. And it's just going to empower people to really follow you in what you do. It's because I spend more time on the art that works people.

Because as an artist, you spend it about in top, like on the one art piece I worked on. today, I spent about five hours working on the art piece, and I spent all that time drawing it by hand, meaning I'm the one who's going to critique all the little things that I'd like about it. Well, that person would spend like a short period of time, like maybe one minute looking at the piece. Well, I spend way more longer on the piece, so I see all the imperfections and the things I don't like about it. So when you find something that you don't like, what do you do? usually when I'm already too far in the piece, I finish it,

then I do better with the next piece. But if I'm still in the sketching phase, I just erase it and try and fix it. And then when I like it, I just continue. So it depends how far I am in the art piece. If I'm already too far in the art piece, then I just deal with it and try it and fix it with color

and try and make it better. And then with the next piece, I try to freeze. So as you're improving it and you're moving forward, what's the next step with your colors? Do that just come to you or do you have to stop and think about it? How does that part of it work for you? So when it comes to color, there's the entire way artists work. Like, there's an entire, like you can literally spend two hours learning about color theory.

But to be honest, when I discovered color theory, I just threw it out the window and didn't want to learn about it because it was way to complicated. So what I just usually do is I pick colors, put them together, and kind of arrange them to make sure they can coexist with each other. I take complementary colors, make sure they look good together. And if they don't, then I change it. So usually it comes naturally, but if I want to change it, I can just change the color. That makes sense because when you want to take and get into color theory and you get into all that kind of thing, you're getting into technique. You know, And what it really comes down to is if you have the feeling, if you have it coming from your heart and the passion is there,

then that passion will overflow and connect with the person that's looking at it. Kind of like music does. You know, you just put it together. And if you've got it, you're going to have it technically right. But if you've got the feeling, then it grabs the people's emotion. Colors can depict how a person feels and how the art feels like. Absolutely. I get that.

So what is in your future now? In the next three to five years, what kind of plans are you thinking? What would you like to implement? How do you see your life progressing from this point on? So I do have a plan of what I want to do in my future. One of the things I'll do in my future is become an illustrative artist and focus on that type of field with working for game developing companies and illustrating art for the video game characters and really create the backgrounds

and illustrations for each background, I've seen with video games, they need it illustrated to really illustrate each scene and the environment. So I'd really love to do that and maybe take the clothing business and kind of make it a bit more bigger and create factories to mass-reduce clothing because I can see that mass-producing clothing can be really good for businesses. So why would you want to have a factory when you're into art? I'd like to have a factory to give jobs to people with autism because giving people for autism can sometimes struggle of certain things. So giving them the tools and the education on how

to do certain types of things can be really good and especially giving adults. Yes, teach them skills on how to pack clothing and how to box them up and teach them certain skills for like accounting and how to take phone calls and talk to customers. That's so admirable because you are 100% correct. People do not realize

that autistic people can function and learn and do things that everybody else can do. It's just one of those things for some reason got out there and they've got to learn more understanding about it. So I applaud you for that. That's just a great, great concept. Yes, yes. You know, with any interview we have,

I say that stop labeling our children, stop labeling these people. I think you're so correct there and people really have to learn and get more understanding about autistic people and how they live. So let's change the subject a little bit. Earlier in the show, we talked about public speaking.

Let's expand on that a little bit. How did it happen? It started as people reaching out, asking him to come and visit schools. I talk about his journey. Very true. I believe the first one was at the high-tier event when they wanted us to talk about bullying and talk about autism and neurological conditions. So I ended up going and talking to them about it.

Then my mom thought that probably we could do this as a full-time thing because the first time it went very well. So we just decided to do this a full-time thing. That's great. So how many people do you average? Is it small crowds, large crowds? How do they come out? Between 25 and 250.

That's just so good because that amount of people, the change that he can make for them is just outstanding. and you just never know what can happen because of the positive things that they're hearing. Absolutely. And also talking to children at schools is, you know, you're educating a generation. Absolutely. So Clayton, you must be really happy to be able to get out there in front of people and talk with them and see the changes that you potentially could be making for other people.

I actually have a recollection of something from the past. I remember when I was very young and I looked up to many artists. I said to myself one day when I have the opportunity I wish to kind of inspire other kids in the future. And it's quite crazy to think that I'm doing it nowadays because I remember today when I went to the school to talk about autism. I remember this one kid came up to me and told me how he wanted to be an actor one day. And I was just thinking to myself, how amazing would it be one day if he's a famous actor. and just being able to attend one of his shows. Like, how amazing would that be?

That would be truly amazing. The great part about that is it's possible. Anything's possible. You could be talking in front of people that could be the next Einstein, the next whoever you want to think, actor, actress, anything. The biggest part about that is that you're,

out there speaking to these people, engaging with them, showing them that they do have opportunities and it lies in front of them and anything can happen if you just try. It's kind of like life is like you're walking through cement. If you stay still for too long, the cement will dry it up and it will stop you from moving. In life, you just keep on moving forward. Otherwise, you're just going to be stuck in the cement for the rest of you love. That's a great analogy. I really like that because that's what we all have to do. We have to just keep moving, keep throwing anything we can to give us a chance to succeed in life.

In life, all great things take time. It takes effort, tons of time to get the things you want in life. That's why for now I'm investing my time into becoming a better artist so in the future I can one day choose any job I want. artist. As you should, you've got a lot of potential. I love what you're doing. Your artist is just superb. You put a lot of effort into it, which anybody can see once they start checking you out, and your quality is good because you take the time to do it right. So what would you like to tell people that don't know much about autism and they're just trying to figure things out themselves with people that are around them. What's some of your thoughts that you'd like to share?

What I want to say is when people ask a question of what do I do with my kid with autism, the one answer I think should be given is give them a safe place to be. And because when you have autism, the most important place is your safe place. Like I've seen this one video where this kid had extreme autism. So his grandfather built him like a little Hobbit house for him to live in with like a bed. And when you close it, they had like a little interior with little shelves. And it was his safe place. That's awesome.

I think that's what people need to hear because everyone wants to feel safe. And they want to feel like they're living in a place where they don't have any problems. And they can have support from family, whether it's autistic or not. So I think that's a very, very good. point. So if autism is born with a different mental capacity than everyone else, it doesn't really make them disabled because people of autism

can still do really great things, great to things in other people. If you look at Albert Einstein, he is known as the most cleverest man on the earth, but he was born of autism. He was a person who had signs of autism and he's a genius. And the interesting thing about

Albert Einstein is he hated school so much. Like, no jokes, he was regall in school. Absolutely. Absolutely, I've heard that. So this has been a very good conversation. We've covered a lot of great things. So let's get to your website and your YouTube so that people can reach out and get to know you more and follow you and hopefully buy some of your merchandise.

So we do have a website. It's www. W. Clidens, C-L-I-D-E-N-S designs, D-E-S-G-N-S-com. That is our

international website. And then he's on Facebook and Instagram, also Clidens Designs. Now, his name is sometimes very difficult, the C-L-I-Y-D-E-N-S design. And also let's mention the YouTube channel. I'm still busy working on a YouTube channel,

but there's going to be videos coming soon. Okay, well, Let's have your YouTube channel now then. That way people can follow you on YouTube as well. Clayton's World. That's Clayton's World, correct? It's Clyden's World, yes. Yeah, Cladens World, because it's his world.

You know, Adelaide's designs, it's more the clothing business we have. And Cladence World is his part, his world, his story, his journey. It's like my own personal channel. Yes, your world. Because the thing is personal content. content is very appealing to people and people on YouTube are more invested into getting to know you on the platform instead of getting to know your business. So people are really invested into YouTube because of how many personal content there is and for the entertainment aspect. Absolutely. And I really think because of your story and what you're doing, I think there's going to be a lot of people that's going to follow you and want to get to know you.

Exactly. Yes. And I think also a big thing is just to give you. help as well. You know, to give hope. When people see Clyden and many parents will reach out and Santonay, you don't understand how much help you give us every day just to see Clyden and see his videos. And that's very important. It sure is. And again, I've got to say great conversation. And thanks for coming on. I really appreciate you taking your time to be on my show. Oh, thank you for having him. Yeah, it's really cool. Thank you. Yes, it has been very cool. thank you again. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today.

We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to tonymentor.com, contact, then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask, tell everyone, every week. about why not me the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone, everywhere that you are not alone in this world.