Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - George Bailey : A Father's Perspective on Raising Children with Autism

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Send us a text Imagine walking in the shoes of a father raising three unique children, all on the autism spectrum. That's the enlightening journey George Bailey, a dedicated father of five, invites us into. George gives us an inside look into their family life, from the intricate process of obtaining an autism diagnosis to the day-to-day nuances of nurturing his children. His tales are a testament to the exceptional ways his kids exhibit their autism and the conscious decision to homeschool them, leading to a more personalized learning experience aligning with each child's interests and strengths. Have you ever met a kid who knows all concerning Marvel and Star Wars? Or a young artist whose passion for art is contagious? Well, meet George's wonderful children! His anecdotes about their unique interests and learning will leave you awestruck. George's journey is not just about raising his children; it's also about learning from them and reveling in their distinctive gifts. His kids' autism doesn't define them; instead, it enhances their unique world view and talents, offering a beautiful perspective on raising autistic children. Lastly, George lets us in on the innovative ways he supports his children, such as the use of sleep capsules and the future of teaching his son to drive. The commitment he displays towards nurturing his children's ambitions, notwithstanding his concerns for their future, is genuinely inspirational. Listen as George emphasizes the significance of finding a support network when parenting children with special needs. His story isn't just about the struggles and challenges; instead, it's filled with hope, love, and the remarkable progress his children have made. Let's celebrate autism, the journeys of special needs families, and the boundless love of a father in this inspirational conversation with George Bailey. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World.

Today's guest, George Bailey, is a father of five, three, which are autistic. He's also president of Z-PAC. So he's got a great story to tell, and I'm happy to have him here. Welcome, George. Absolutely. Thank you so much. having me on. My pleasure. It's my understanding that you have five children, three, which are autistic. That is correct. If you would, give us a little information about them. Well, Joseph was born in 2007,

and, you know, we figured out pretty quickly that he was autistic. We could see within the first year of his life, we could see that there were some developmental delays that looked familiar. I had been around autism because my nephew was autistic and I knew a little bit about it at that point. And, you know, so we knew we were living in Germany during that time and found out that he was autistic. Though we didn't get an official diagnosis because in Germany, they're a lot slower that it was until we moved to St. Louis when he was about three years old that we definitely knew, but we saw speech delays.

We saw delays with some of his gross motor skills, who's having a hard time. walking, you know, things like that. And then, and this is just kind of a nutshell, you know, summary of all three of them. The thing is that, you know, once you have one child who is autistic, first of all, the statistics bear out that there is a greater likely that your other children are going to have autism. And they are, you know, doctors are going to screen your other children to see like, okay, okay, shows up in this child. Is it going to show up in the other? well, it didn't show up in William. It didn't show up in my next, you know, a child. But it did show up in both of my last girls. Madeline is eight years old and Rosemond is three years old.

You said you had an idea with your oldest son. Did you have that same premonition about your daughters? I would not have known with them them, had we not had them scream. Because, you know, as is the case with many girls, they tend to mask and so. you know, they hide it, they conceal it a little bit more, or rather they imitate, you know, what they see going on around them. But as you mentioned, you know, it pops up in other ways like depression, things like that. And yeah, you know, but so, you know, but my girls, I mean, you know, they're amazing, Joseph, he's amazing. But they all manifest autism in dramatically different ways. So how old are they now? My boys are 15 and 13, though my oldest will be 16 by the time this is released.

And my daughters are 11, 8, and 3. So you have two children that are neurotypical, three that are autistic. So how do they interact with each other and how do they get along on a daily basis together? You know, in a lot of ways we're such a typical family. I mean, you know, there's fights, there's getting along, there's playing. you know, I think that the artist thing for the younger siblings is to really, really get, and this is probably with the biggest challenge that I'd face is getting them to really love and understand their older brother because there can be a lot of times like, surely he understands

what he's doing here. You know, but he doesn't. You know, there's, you know, it's like, one of the things that it'll do is he'll just kind of casually take their food, you know, and, you know, or he will. he will kind of stare off and laugh, but laugh at a time when they think that he's laughing at them, but no, the kid's just always laughing. He's got his imagination, all of these ideas interacting and playing together. And so I'm like, dude, don't take it personally. Joseph's just, he's chill, he's laughing. And so that can become a cause of contention, you know, right there.

And then, of course, you know, one of my children, she has pretty. these huge rate downs. And when that happens, it can be a little bit tough on the other kids to like, hey, you know, buckle up. Buttercup, what's, you know, kind of what's going on? So there's an interesting dynamic between them as siblings. But overall, I feel really grateful. I push really hard for my kids to get along. Like I, you know, whatever there's like some sort of real conflict, I try to intervene in a kind and loving way. Because I have a super, good relationship with my siblings. And I feel like I can't really be a great parent. I just, I don't think I am. You know, I try. I love my kids. But I, the one thing I can do really well is to get

them to understand your symptoms are like the best thing that we could ever get. Absolutely. Family is always number one and always comes first. So what's their schooling like? What's their day-to-day schedule concerning that? So Joseph was in a start. special means program. We saw some, you know, he was keeping up with his peers initially a little bit and then having some trouble progressively as he grew older and as this communication needs became more sophisticated for him to be able to advance along with his peers intellectually. That became a lot harder. Now Joseph is verbal, you know, but we decided on that basis and on some opportunities. is we like to be able to get out and travel and to be able to do so liberally so we actually

homeschool our children, which is an extraordinary experience. I was not a huge fan of homeschooling growing up. I was not homeschooled. My wife was homeschooled at least just a few years out of her education in the public school system, just because that's what she needed. But a very sharp woman. She was a full-ride scholar to our university where we met. that is just extraordinary mind and intellect.

And so she has the wherewithal and the desire and is how often, you know, always have the desire to homeschool our kids. And so we made the jump a couple of years ago. COVID was actually kind of a perfect time for us to be able to make that jump. And so now they actually get a lot of one-to-one attention, you know, when they're struggling.

And so Joseph, who I think that the, the sinister bit kind of said, well, you know, at this point, like, we're just going to kind of teach him some basics of communication. But really, he was capable of understanding a lot more if he got the right attention in terms of sciences and mathematics. But I suspect based on his progress, although he's doing a lot better than you used to, he's going to need us for a while. Okay. So how does he differ from your two daughters? My daughters who are autistic, I'm academically there doing very well. I mean, you know, Madeline, she's reading well above her age level. She's doing art and she's doing, she's expressing herself artistically in a way that is very sophisticated for her age,

both musically and in drawing and painting what she loves to do. So with you homeschooling, how do they interact when you take them out to a social setting with people they may not know around? Joseph has a very difficult time asking people questions about them. He wants to tell you, well, he's interested in. He wants to tell you kind of like, okay, so I'm really into Star Wars and Marble. I mean, those are his religions almost, you know, and And he wants to evangelize as much as he can on those topics. So, but he is social and friendly, you know, and he's, he's easy to get along with. And we're very grateful that at our congregation, there are some other young men his age who have been very inclusive of him. And they understand his quirks. And they understand, you know, and he loves them and wants to be with that.

So they've been really good about that. And, uh, again, Madeline, again, you wouldn't know that she's autistic. At least not if you were not a professional, it's very difficult to see. But she really, really, um, gets along well with her peers. Well, that's good to hear. Now, I've also heard that females sometimes have a tendency to mask their autism at some point. Do you see that happening at all with your daughters? I do not yet.

see any signs of depression, though. I anticipate that that may arise. She's still in that adorable, cute and cuddly. I love dad. And she and I, we get along like piece in a pod. And she's always running up to my desk and like dad's here. And she hands me another beautiful piece of art. It's just Ronstant. So she's just in that. It's the best right now. I love that. And I know it will always last because I've been. through various faces with each of my children. She'll realize, wow, dad is really flawed and I am, you know, but we have a good relationship. She gets along with their friends and she plays hard and she's competitive, but yet she's very generous. So no, I'm not really seeing that yet with

her. Oh, that's really good. Now, I've been told by a lot of people that I've interviewed that their kids tend to have meltdowns, some severe, some not so severe. How would you rate your kids with meltdowns or do they have any? No, with Madeline, the funny thing is, as well as we get along, she is the one who experiences these meltdowns, and it's already difficult, you know, when it happens because, you know, you want to kind of rationalize or even just to comfort. But once she's there, it's like, hey, you know, obviously she needs a little bit of time away.

And fortunately, I mean, she's improved with time. But that is a very big challenge. And fortunately, she's actually a lot less likely to do it in public, which is always challenging. You know, you get the judging eyes, you know, stuff like that. That's really good that she's adapting that well. Now, I've talked with several women that after they've had children diagnosed, they start to question themselves on what they might have done wrong, eating, drinking, environment, etc. Now, reality, they didn't do anything wrong, but they put themselves under that microscope. How did your wife handle that? And did she have any of those issues at all?

Yeah, it's a great question. And what's interesting about this is that although my wife, has not been officially diagnosed with all of these experiences, we look at her youth and her growing up, and she is like, oh my gosh, I am autistic. And so, you know, we don't know for sure. And we try to be careful about that because we know that some people, you know, if there's a tendency to kind of wear it as a, like,

you know, look at me as this interesting about me type of thing. Some people will don't appreciate that. And I understand. But with all of our understanding and all of our exposure to autism, it makes a lot of sense. You know, if she's, if she is autistic, that makes her world a lot. Yeah, clearly. But, you know, that being the case, I mean, you know, I think that she's great in terms of navigating their needs. And, you know, it's, of course, frustrating for both of us to be able to experience that.

But no, you know, I think that she does a really good job. And it's her parenting. Neither of us have ever been like, oh, woes me, stop, you know, my kid is autistic. I can't remember that ever happening at any time. I think that Christina and my wife, if any, I think she's just more fascinated than it. Well, that's awesome. Good things to hear. Now, you said that your oldest son is going to be 16, correct?

Correct. Okay, so I've talked with several parents that tell me that their sons or daughters will, at some point, they'll just immerse themselves in something, and then their knowledge, they just soak it up, and they can tell you anything that you want to know about the subject that they're really into. Is your son like that? Does he have anything that's special to him that he really, really gets into? I know you mentioned Star Wars and Marvel. Is that something that just really fascinates them? Yeah. And that kind of encyclopedic knowledge, it doesn't occur in every scenario. It's a little bit of a stereotype. And yet sometimes it's a stereotype for a reason. And in Joseph's case, yes, he's very much into those things.

And when I say he's into Marvel and Star Wars, that's exactly what I mean. He reads the encyclopedia, you know, like these kind of marvel, the large source books where you can figure out kind of origin stories and all of that. And he knows it back and forth. Same with, you know, Star Wars Marvel. The Bible, incidentally, who loves that history. History, I say history because it's only hard to pin down. Where is he out there?

Because on the one hand, he really, really has taken to Revolutionary War history. Wow, that's nice. And maybe some other stories. sporadic moments, but I haven't seen him. Maybe it's like the books that we've given him where it happens to be written in a very accessible manner for him. There are some great books and trying to remember the name, but basically, you know, it's this guy who kind of walks through and experiences history together as it's happening with people. The name will come to me soon I'm sure, but, you know, they'll have him, you know, with the, the daughter party.

You know, and so my son, you know, to ask me questions, he's fascinated with the daughter party. Or it would be some civil war history or something like that. I can't wait for history to become appealing to him more broadly. Because when I listen to him, anytime we talk about history, I learn stuff. he's actually quite pleasant to be around. Like when I'm driving with him in the car, and he's like, Dad, did you know this? Did you know that?

And I'm like, no way. That's cool. I think that's just so great because he gets a chance to learn. And then he tries to incorporate that and have conversation with you about it. And it just creates a real good bond. Plus, they get so immersed and, inquisitive about it, that they start asking us questions. And then all of a sudden, our interests

are what their interests are. And they're actually teaching us things that we either forgot or just gave up on. I think you're right. And to your point, what is wonderful is it'll take some things that I would normally, I just, you know, I don't have time to study history right now. And it's a little bit, you know, maybe some of these things are skewer. But he a little bit. But he a little bit. looks at it, you know, and this is Joseph particularly, looks at it with this eye of wonder. And so, you know, there was a time, I think, well, we all had some wonder, you know, particularly when we're younger and, you know, that wears off time. But Joseph, you know, he's 16 and it's not wearing off. He really maintains that just like he, the things he loves, he loves and he loves

to share. And so that to me is a powerful lesson for myself. I, you know, the things that I love, I hope that I'll always love to share. He is very giving, and I appreciate that about it. That's a really good trait to have. Now, how about your girls? Are they as interested in learning as he is? With Rosamond, who is only three years old, it's very difficult to tell at this point. I have not seen her readily obsessed over something. With Madeline, it's not that she, there's something she just wants to learn and learn and learn. I, I, I, I haven't challenging her. Okay, she is very much into art.

And I mean, it's, you know, like some kids, it's like they'll tell you one minute, you know, they want to be a cowboy, the next minute, a fireman, the next minute, they want to be a police officer, then a baseball player, then a, you know, a scientist. And so that the story's always changing. I was one of those kids. Couldn't make up my mind. Madeline, like I swear, when she started telling me about the age of four that she wanted to be an artist, I knew right away like, oh, she really does. And she's going to, you know, and time will tell if she's going to be a great artist or a fantastic artist or really just a good artist. Who knows I have a lot of faith in my child.

And she's very smart and she's very clever with her art. Now, that being said, as obsessed as she is with constantly drawing and, And, you know, just her output is amazing in terms of how much stuff she will do every day and how much she's improving. She has not really yet taken to kind of talking about the art and of other people and the history of art. I have invited her to and she is taking me up on this. I've given her a flash card deck. It's an, you know, electronic flash deck card deck of 100 famous people. of art that you put together with the names of the artist and she loves it and she loves looking at it.

She's not yet like popping out like, Dad, did you know this about Bangor? Did you know this about, you know, Monet or, you know, things like that? But I love art personally. I grew up with it. My mother wound was an artist and, you know, and that was what I knew. So it brings me great joy for her to be an artist. Oh, that's so nice. And I'm sure she gets a lot of that from you.

So let's change gears here a little bit. You started out with this company that like any other company wanted to put a product out there, make a profit, and just see where it could go. But then all of a sudden, you found out that it was something pretty special and that it could help autistic people. So could you tell us a little bit about that? Well, thank you. Great question.

And so, you know, a few years ago, some friends of mine got together and they said, hey, we want your help kind of on the marketing and, you know, PR side of, you know, selling these sleep capsules. And these things had already been getting traction in China, Japan, and airports. And you see them there. You know, it's a little nook, a little getaway, slipped in there, grab a nap, pose yourself in. well, you know, we were looking at these and there were, you know, there was at least one friend, maybe a few people who said, you know, these would be great for autistic kids. And I was the first person who said, no, I have no interest in that. You know, and of course, by then, I'm already well established as an autism dad. You know, I've been through the rigmarole. I get what it's like

that, you know, I know the autism community. But the reason why I brushed it off is because number one, it was just like, look, this is expensive and no one wants to buy. You know, parents, they've got so many things to buy and everybody's, you know, they're going for their attention. Why would I do this to them? I don't want to sell steak oil. And we don't know if this is going to work. That was the second thing. It's like, we just don't. This is going to work. But what really lifted everything on its head for me was watching my son interact with these sleep, you know, pods. That was the first. sign like, okay, maybe. And I kept on thinking of Temple Grandin. If you've ever seen the movie where

she has that squeeze machine, I'm like, how, okay, I can kind of see it. Like, there's obvious some, like, sensitivities to one's surroundings. Maybe that has some influence on sleep. Then I started learning that, like, oh, well, there's some serious sleep issues in the autism community, which I wasn't aware was like an autism thing because my son was an okay sleeping. He wasn't great, but he wasn't bad or not that it really demanded my attention. He was getting maybe two hours below the average, not four, five, six, seven hours below the average, and which is a thing, you know, and the more I learned I thought, like, okay, we got to look for like case study.

We found a young woman 13 years old with autism and some other disorders, and she was sleeping in her closet and her mom's like, I've got to try this. We said, no promise this. But this young woman, Natalie, jumped from four hours of sleep the night on average, which she had been averaging over the course of the previous eight years, to an average of about 10 hours. It literally happened overnight. It was so shocking, Tony.

I just, I thought, oh, my gosh, we've got to do something about this. And so ever since then, we've been pushing for, you know, getting this thing covered by insurance and, you know, what are called disability waivers. We've had limited, you know, there's certain amounts of success with all of this, and we are continuing to push really hard on that because we're all believers now. We're all like, okay, I don't think that this is for every kid.

What it is for some kid, you know, just like you and I've been talking about. Every kid manifests, you know, is her odds very differently. And for some, it's like, look, I'm really sensitive to my sleep environment. And I feel comforted if I have that kind of a surrounding. And so now, you know, it's a thing. And we've been getting a lot of good attention. You know, I love that I've got, I've been able to be part of this experience. It's been really far.

And that's so great. It's always nice to be part of something that is helping others. So now you have a son that's going to be 16 years old. And I've spoken with other parents that when they start having, kids that are that age, they come to them wanting something that just scares them to death. One actually had a son that wanted to learn how to drive, and he said that he'd never been so frightened in his life. Have you had anything like that yet, or do you anticipate something coming that might just scare you a little bit? Well, driving is one of them already, and it's,

you know what's, I'll tell you, you know what makes it tougher is when he wants to learn to drop. But his little brother, who's 13, also wants to learn to drive. Now, his little brother doesn't have the gross and fine motor skill challenges that he asks. And so what's going to happen? I'm telling you right now. And it's just, I know it's going to, you know, it's his brother's going to get it down. There's going to be jealousy issues. You know, he's going to feel like, you know, his brother's our favorite child or something like that, which is not true. You know, I love all of my kids. But that's one. There are two others, you know, he's Alex Rock. He's like, can't wait to get married and have kids. And again, it's like, I think I know where you're getting at.

And that is like, I'm not going to kill any of my kids. Hey, you know, if you want to get married, that's great. And I want to equip you with all of the resources to be able to function socially enough to be able to find that somewhere. Now, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if it's in the cards for him, if that's ever going to happen. But my assumption is, if I don't know, I'm just going to assume that it's possible. That's such a great attitude to have, and it's really good for your son as well. I'm going to give them all the resources I can. And then, you know, he wants to do a missionary service for our church, which, again, you know, I love my faith tradition. I love, you know, the joy it's brought me. And yet, I've been a missionary. It's a very demanding. Absolutely. I know a few people

has done that and they have said that it's very demanding. And I think the thing that that scares me the most is that responsibility of providing the resources. Like, am I going to measure up as a provider? You know, my wife and I are working as hard as we can to be able to make these things happen for our kids. And, you know, I want to make sure, like, it may not feel real to him right now, but look, I just, I just lost my mom and My dad died a long time ago. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. There's a lot of stuff that I don't feel prepared with.

And I just, I want for my boy to have a fulfilling light where he knows that mom and dad love you. And I'll tell you, this is the thing, Tony. I'm really trying to prepare it. So I'm working on him, but I'm also working on his siblings because I'm hoping that I'm a little bit old school in the sense that like I do believe. that it's good for communities to have housing for, you know, the elderly for mom and dad, for, you know, brothers and sisters who need that. I'm all about that. I'm totally there. And yet, I look at, you know, I used to live in China. I've studied Chinese. And one of the things like in the Chinese culture, like, no, you don't put mom and dad. You bring mom and dad home to live with you.

You take care of them. And like, you know what? If my boy wants to stay with me and my life for the rest of, you know, his days or ours, you know, hopefully ours first, you know, then you know what? I want that. And, you know, that is just a very good thing to want for their lives. I, I want to be able to be there for him to always have a ruin our hope. And when, when we go, or if we go, who knows, I want his siblings to step up. And I'm not going to force on them, but in the ideal world, Tony, I hope that when we died, that one of the siblings will already be in a good enough place and feel comfortable and have enough love in their hearts. You know, because not every family has siblings that stick it out together.

Unfortunately, that is so true. And I want it badly. More than anything more than wealth, more than vacations. I want my kids to love each other. and to laugh with each other because there's nothing as a parent, there's nothing that brings me more joy than to see them totally jamming out with each other and just love the life, playing with Legos or whatever, you know, whatever to are acting together.

I just, I'm it, man. That makes parenting the best. It sure does. When you've got kids that get along and communicate with each other and just support each other, there's nothing better than that. Plus, that's the number one thing of everyone that I speak with that's most concerning to them is that if they were to leave this earth, who is going to take care of their children that need help so desperately?

So I've got to say this, this has been a tremendous conversation. A lot of good information, a lot of great things were said. Now, I'm going to leave you with one last thing. if you could give a bit of advice to anyone that might be going through some of the things that you've gone through, what would you tell them? I think that if I could say in one thing, it would be that you've got to have a heart filled with love as often as you can. believe in the mendability of relationships because, you know, right now I've already had a couple run-ins with my son where, oh my gosh, he's an adolescent and he's expressing himself. How dare he is?

And so I have a lot of faith in the ability that, you know, he and I, that we can work things out. working things out, it's going to look a little bit different from other parents working things out. But I feel fortunate that Joseph is so forgiving. I also want to say that, you know, I see a kind of a splintering in the autism community. There are some for whom, like, you know, we've got, I'm going to describe it in maybe, like, kind of stereotypes, because it's the easiest way to describe a very, complex thing. And that is, there's kind of this, like, you know, have you ever, you know, my kid has autism versus my autistic kid? You know, yeah, there's that debate. I would just,

with all my heart, I would love to see some mending between those two mindsets. Because we need, any community needs that for the community to exist and to coexist peacefully. And I, I get it that there's a part of the community for who like autism has been a really painful experience with them. If you know, if they have any condens issues or fecal sparing or not even being able to hear their kids say, I love you. Guess what? That's really painful. So to look at autism and then to be told like this is this great thing. Celebrate it. You know, for them, I think that that feels kind of, you know, like what? Talking about this is horrible. This is really hard. And yet they love their kids and they don't like this.

sincerity of their love to be challenged. And then on the other side, there's this side where it's just like, you know, I don't want to be told that I have to be ashamed of my being different and being attacked because I'm in difference and I don't want to be cured. And you know what? Yeah, so I understand that too. That's, it's painful to be told all the time to be messaged with like, oh, this must be such a hard burden, you bearers. You're so different, weird and stuff like that. That's cruddy. My wife, you know, we believe as autistic is very high functioning. And I know that even that term is loaded.

But was heavily ostracized and made to feel different. So guess what? I'm sympathetic to that side too. And so I think that the diversity demands that we've been way more understanding of each side of that debate. And that each side needs to kind of disarm a little bit, be a little bit kind of and say, you know what, maybe I'm a little bit hard on those who are looking for a way out. Or maybe I'm a little bit hard on those who are very defensive of their own, you know, like they want to be included.

And so, you know, so that would be kind of my last message. I'm sure someone's going to want to attack me for saying that. There's just no way out of it. You know, but I love all the people that I've ever met in the autism community. I seek goodness. And I want that goodness to be magnified. Absolutely. And I really appreciate you coming on.

Just so much good information. And I'm hoping that we can do this again at some point. Amen. I'm 100% agree. Thank you so much for, thank you for letting me articulate. Oh, it was my pleasure. And again, thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for taking the time.

of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to tonymentor.com, contact, then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask, tell everyone, everywhere, about why not me, the world. the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone everywhere that you are not alone in this world