Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Kate and Missy: Empowering Neurodiverse Individuals – Navigating Social Dynamics, Mental Health, and Inclusive Employment Strategies

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Send us a text Unlock the secrets to navigating the neurotypical world as we sit down with Kate and Missy from Social Connections, a pioneering Nashville-based organization. Discover how their journey..., which began in 1993 at Vanderbilt's psychiatric hospital, has evolved to support the unique social and dating needs of young autistic adults. Kate and Missy share invaluable insights on helping neurodiverse individuals thrive without altering their inherent traits, offering a fresh perspective on integrating mental health support with autism. Our discussion dives deep into the importance of individualized support strategies for autistic individuals, whether it's enhancing social skills, dating, or vocational training. We explore the often-overlooked gender differences in symptom masking and how this impacts the mental health of autistic females. Learn about the essential role of self-advocacy in the workplace and why educating employers about autism can lead to more inclusive environments. Kate and Missy provide practical advice on managing anxiety, depression, and the stressors that come with navigating a neurotypical world. Finally, hear about the ambitions and achievements of Social Connections, including their vision for growth and the inspiring success stories that keep them motivated. From overcoming family dynamics to the importance of vocational assessments, this episode is a treasure trove of guidance for anyone interested in supporting the autistic community. Tune in to understand how genuine communication and shared interests can make a significant difference, and see how Social Connections is expanding beyond Nashville to touch lives through telehealth services. Join us for an episode filled with hope, expertise, and actionable advice. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Starting point is 00:00:05 Welcome to Why Not Me The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real-life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. Hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World. Normally, I have a guest on, but today I have two.
Starting point is 00:00:59 I have Kate and Missy from Social Connections founded right here in Nashville, Tennessee. Social Connections was founded with the aim of facilitating the dating process for young autistic adults. However, it soon became clear that a more comprehensive approach was necessary to address the diverse needs of this population. As a result, the platform has evolved to provide a wide range support for its users as they navigate various aspects of their life. So thanks for coming on. Absolutely, absolutely. No, we thank you for the opportunity. No, we've listened to some of your previous podcasts and we're just very excited about what you do and your work.
Starting point is 00:01:38 And to be able to be part of it, we're really very honest. Oh, the pleasure's all mine. So first, how did you meet and then how did you develop this? Okay. Well, Missy and I met back in 1993, actually, and that's how long we have been, friends and colleagues. I was the principal of the psychiatric hospital, the school in the psychiatric hospital at Vanderbilt. And I hired Missy to be a teacher in a children's classroom. So she worked there for a brief period of time. And then she moved on to Metro School System to work as a special education teacher in a behavior disorder class. I continued to work at Vanderbilt Psych Hospital, and while Missy was working in Metro as a middle school teacher, she began her graduate studies at Treveka,
Starting point is 00:02:24 pursuing a degree in mental health. So then I left Vanderbilt, and I became, I worked at the State Department of Education as a transition consultant for two years. Okay, then what was next? So while Missy was establishing her time and Metro, then I also left the State Department, and then I worked to work for Metro schools as a compliance consultant first, and then as a transition consultant, working with young adults with autism ages 18 to 22. Then Missy was establishing her practice, and I was beginning my tenure with Metro. We continued to be very close friends, and we would discuss the issues that surrounded young adults with autism, particularly at the dating scene and sex education, because the schools really did not
Starting point is 00:03:15 address those issues very well. They taught social skills, but not really the dating and the sex education. They would feel fearful of touching that. Her practice also found that some of her clients were really in need of discussion and education around sex and dating. So probably about two years ago, we came up with the idea and we put together a curriculum and a market at a program. I want to date. Now what is what we entitled the program and the curriculum. We pulled from various curriculum sources. So we had about six or seven young men in this dating group and we found that it was fairly successful. But for various and sundry reasons, we did not continue, including COVID. Yes, COVID stopped a lot of things. So what happened after that?
Starting point is 00:04:06 So then about a year ago, we were again revisiting this idea to coach young adults with autism. And so hence, social connections was conceived. We both have completed a 40-hour online training, certifying us as autism specialists, in addition to our other degrees that we hold. So when we designed the social connections, we designed it to help support and coach these young adults on the spectrum or really anybody neurodivergent or with a learning disability, and intellectual disability as well. And these adults navigate the adult world.
Starting point is 00:04:41 So neurodiversity makes navigating the adult world very hard. Our philosophy is that we don't want to attempt to change the neurodiverse individual. We want to help them navigate the neurotypical world in a little more comfortable and assured, independent way, because we find that they don't necessarily understand a lot of the social nuances that somebody else that's neurotypical would understand. We often say that when you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Yes, over the last year in doing these podcasts, that statement comes up many times and is very true. So I'm wondering, I've found that sometimes you have parents that are really trying to help their kids,
Starting point is 00:05:21 but they're really pushing them more into the neurotypical world than the world that they are as autistic. Sometimes that can create a more confusing world for them rather than a clearer one. Do you find that the case at all? Yes, you're exactly right. We've discovered that a lot of our young adults that we work with, some of them way smarter than us academically, don't understand the nuances of their work world or their peers' interactions.
Starting point is 00:05:46 We'll give them scenarios or say things to them. Like, example, we have a young man that works at a local hospital here in Nashville and we asked him, what would you do if Mr. Hank comes to pick up your trash at your office? What would you say? And he was like, why would I talk to Mr. Hank? He had no understanding of. of tell Mr. Hay, thanks, hope you have a great day, have a good weekend, interaction, no understanding. And so not only do we help them navigate the neurotypical world,
Starting point is 00:06:12 we also want to help bosses, management, and staff in a workplace, understand the neurodiverse individual that they're working with. So they don't expect them to do all the changing. Yeah, I think that's great, because the main thing I think needs to happen now is to bridge that gap between the employer and autistic employee, because the employer has that perception, and it's lots of times wrong because autistic people can get out there and work just as good as anyone
Starting point is 00:06:45 and create a lot of good things and help that bottom line for that employer. So that's a benefit for everybody. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. We actually toured a facility today that works with a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:07:01 They're neurodivergent. And the ability for them to manage finding them jobs within their company, have a mentor at the location and at the task that they're doing the entire time they're adjusting to that has worked so beautifully. And it's just made life and the adjustment for the neurodiverse person to have a neurotypical person that's kind of their mentor and help guide them through the process of adjusting to starting a job. Sure. So since you've started this, you've worked in a couple of different areas. So for lack of a better word, which do you find more rewarding, helping them with their dating and getting that part of their life in order, or helping them get their job structure going so they can feel better about themselves because they're actually working?
Starting point is 00:07:50 I think both of them are very important. Like with this young man that Missy was talking about, his first school, he was unemployed. and 30 years old and has a master's degree. So, of course, his first goal was to become employed. After we helped support that process, and he is now gainfully employed, now the next thing we're going to be working on with him, are those social skills, are the dating skills? Because, you know, if you look at it progressively, you want to be able to get a job so that you can take a woman or a guy out, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:19 and then have money to pay for that. So we're going, you know, like sort of step by step. So I think they're all sort of intertwined, Tony. I don't know if they're independent of each other, but actually, Missy and I enjoy all of those aspects of working with the individual. Yeah, I get that for sure. The sad part is the numbers are just terrible for autistic people. They're either between 70 to 90 percent either underemployed or unemployed,
Starting point is 00:08:50 and that definitely has to change. Correct. Exactly. Correct. It's super frustrating for us because we understand like their skill set and understand that they would be really good at X task. And if we could just get their foot in the door and help somebody understand what they're really good at and let them just navigate that task, they would flourish. Then we could work on the social skills and the co-worker peer interaction piece of that. Yeah. We could just get the foot in the door. You opened the doors about a year ago. Is that right? And what I think was about a year ago that we conceived this whole concept, right?
Starting point is 00:09:23 You've been working on it for a couple, three years. Yeah, and then we've both been working in the field. So how have you seen this first year of doing what you're doing? Have you seen it grow the way you anticipated or has it grown slower or faster? What's the results been? How have you dealt with that? Well, we are in the infant stages in the sense that, you know, really just getting started. And so we are in the process of marketing and becoming making agencies that we are
Starting point is 00:09:49 connected with because we are pretty well connected with a lot of adult agencies here. the Nashville area. So we're really connecting with them to let them know about our services so that they can then pass it on to their various clients. So we're moving ahead, certainly as every new business, they start out slowly. At the time, I was working for Metro schools as this transition consultant. So I couldn't really help me see that much during the day. But now I just recently retired, I can devote much more time solely to our social connections practice. So we're looking forward to grow forth and move ahead and help individuals that want our services and we can help. Yeah. And then currently, I, you know, with my counseling practice, I see about 27 to 30 people a week
Starting point is 00:10:31 in my counseling practice. And a lot of those individuals are neurodiverse in multiple different ways, either ADHD or autism or a combination of both. So I deal with it on a daily basis, as well as a lot of other mental health. So I'm also a trauma trained therapist as well. So we find that a lot of our clients with autism have experienced some sort of trauma. So we're using a lot of that to help them manage the emotions that come along with their trauma as well. So as a company, do you have a set amount of people that you work with at one time? Or do you have people just kind of come and go as needed so that way you can work with them until they get to the point that they don't need that much attention anymore? How does that work for you now?
Starting point is 00:11:12 I think it's kind of the rotating door like you're just talking about. Like we just got the one gentleman started in his job. We've got him settled and kind of stable there. We actually got to see him today working. He was kind of shocked that we showed up, not intending to see just him, but to see the program that he's working with. And it was really cool to see him in working. And then he will start coming back again in July to work on the other social skills pieces and the dating skills pieces. So it's kind of a rotating door. It's their life. It's their existence. And we want to make sure that we're addressing the issues in the order that they find the most importance. So if they want to work on the social skills, and the dating stuff first, we'll do that, and then get that kind of ball rolling, and then we'll kind of lean into the vocational piece of it. So what's your demographic? Do you have more males than females, more females than males? How does that work, or is it pretty even? I think it's pretty much split. Yeah, we have some females and we have some males, yeah. So I'm a little interested in finding how this works for you. It's very well known throughout the world that females tend to mask their symptoms. Yes, yes. They try to fit in differently than boys do.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Very differently. So how do you handle it when you're dealing with a female so that she can drop her guard, not have to mask it, and then just ultimately be herself? That's exactly. It's an excellent question, because the one young lady that we're currently working with, she was recently diagnosed with autism at 35, 36, something of that sort. And she said that she has been socialized through her other like girlfriends growing up and following their lead. And that's how she's been able to mask that. But now working with her and talking about the fact that she does not have to maintain that pressure, which has caused great anxiety within her. So, you know, they're sort of comorbid in that sense that she has this anxiety and then consequently maybe some depression that goes with that. So she seems very relieved that
Starting point is 00:13:11 we're giving her the permission, so to speak, with her diagnosis and what that diagnosis really entails and how that's defined, that she can really more or less be herself and be real and true to herself. Okay, so now you say that you do a lot of therapy with autistic people, correct? Yes, I do. Okay, so you just spoke about depression and it's well known, again, that females tend to mask it and then when the masking does not work the way they anticipated, they get depressed and ultimately consider suicide. Exactly. So have you ran into this situation and been able to help someone tend to get away from
Starting point is 00:13:55 those thoughts? You know, I think getting away from the thoughts are really hard. I think it's helping them learn how to regulate their emotions. We spend a ton of time with feeling identification and a ton of time identifying not just the feeling, but the body sensations that go with that feeling. so that then they learn to regulate their emotions. And if we can get them to regulate the emotions, the suicidal ideations kind of start to dissipate on their own.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Instead of us continuing to kind of hone in on, okay, let's not, let's work on not wanting to kill yourself today. Instead, we kind of work on, let's identify what the feelings are. If you take anger, for example, anger is what in the therapeutic world, I consider to be a secondary emotion. It always has a buddy. So it's always got something else, another emotion attached to it. we can get them to identify that, and then the body sensations that go along with that other
Starting point is 00:14:45 secondary emotion, then you will watch the emotion regulations start to occur. And then their nervous system kicks back online, their vagal nerve starts to work again, and then everything starts to calm down. Yes. I've talked with a few different people that have attempted suicide or thought about it. One attempted it, and thank goodness he failed. Yeah. The common thread amongst all of them is a daily challenge. Right.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Right. Yeah. And to be honest with you, if you look at hospitalization in a psych facility for someone like that, it's really not equipped a lot of times because they address just the mental illness piece of it and the mental health piece of it and they don't necessarily look real closely at how does the autism affect that. It's really hard to determine which comes first. I mean, more than likely, it's the autism that creates all these other mental illnesses and mental health issues. And so getting a site facility to get on board and understand that completely is sometimes difficult.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Absolutely. Now, I was speaking with a guy the other day, and we was talking about how people have meltdowns and how that it can affect their job situations. Yeah, absolutely. He had a great concept in that he said, name one person that you know or you don't know throughout the world that hasn't had a situation at their job to where they say, you know, I've got to take a break. So there's really no difference between the autistic world and the neurotypical world in that the autistic will call it a meltdown, but the neurotypical just has to take a break because they're upset. Right. Exactly, Tony. And that's one of the things that I did in my previous job as a transition coach or of this program for young adults with autism. Exactly. That Missy was saying, we do a lot of self-advocacy work. So in this program, we would either work with the employers and then the individuals. For the individual to, be able to go to the employer and say, hey, look, I just need five minutes of a break.
Starting point is 00:16:42 And maybe even up front, you know, before their employer asks, they're going through the interview process and say, you know, I do have autism. So I may need to have you be a bit more patient with me. Have you give me my assignments more in a checklist because they're very visual learners and they can check off the tasks that they have to do that day? Or then when they're having this meltdown or it's coming on, they can just ask for, so, of time out, so to speak. And most employers that I've worked with have been very amenable to that because, you know, the young adults with autism can be excellent workers. It's just that they've got to make some accommodations here. And most employers, for the most part, are willing to do that
Starting point is 00:17:23 if they know they've got a good employee. Absolutely. I had Temple Granted on my podcast earlier. She said that if you were to put her in Walmart and have her cash out, that she would need a pilot's checklist so that she could go down through the checklist and get everything the way it's supposed to be. I'll say that. That's a great way to look at that. Absolutely. So if the employer would understand that he's hired an autistic person, they need a little bit
Starting point is 00:17:50 of time just to work that out within themselves, but yet they can be a great employee for them. Then he gives them the time, they work it out, and everything just keeps moving forward the way it should. Right. That's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:04 That's a great way to look at. And the self-advocacy is helping them learn to ask for those things instead of expecting their employer just to know that they're supposed to do that. Right. Yeah, it's a two-way street and they both have to work together on that. So what are some of the challenges that you've seen in this first year being in business? Have you had people open their arms and say, you know, I really like this? Let's see what we can do. Let's dig together and make this happen. How's it all worked out for you for that first year? No, I think that we have been, every one we speak to, they'll say, oh, there's such a need for this. So I think the community and the people that we're sort of marketing this to, everyone's on board
Starting point is 00:18:42 with the idea that, yes, this is a very needed service. In regards to our clients, I think they have been very, so to speak, relieved that they have a safe place to come. You know, like the young man that we were working with yesterday, we've been working with him for close to about a year, maybe nine months, something of that sort. he just seemed very genuinely appreciative. He's like, now that you guys have been working with me, I have been able to do thus and so and see some market progress in himself.
Starting point is 00:19:08 When you ask about a hurdle, what the hurdle actually has been either with parental support sometimes or the family dynamics that either undermine the individual or they're not on board with the individual's needs? So we've done parent groups. In fact, we have another parent meeting on Monday with a family. So we're willing and able to do whole parent groups, like maybe four, you know, three or four couples or whatever. So that, again, parents can support each other because like with this young lady that's just recently diagnosed, her mom is trying to deal with this. In addition to some of her other mental health issues, the mom is very overwhelmed.
Starting point is 00:19:47 And so consequently, we've worked with her, but it could benefit her from being maybe like in a parent group of sorts. And we're able to do that as well. We haven't established that yet, but we are certainly quite able to do that, interested in doing that, and marketing that is one of our services. I think the other piece of parent support is sometimes they're too supportive. Yeah. So they do more than they need to. So you get to age 21, 22, 23, 24, and the parent is still filling out job applications or picking job. We're like, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Or we had one young man that went to college and the parent picked their major for them. And I was like, no, no, no, that's not how this works. He needs to be on board to pick that himself, as well as not picking the jobs that, he needs to pick the jobs he wants to apply for. And then he needs to fill out the application. And he needs to prepare for those interviews, not on me doing all of that work. Yeah, that's another thing Temple brought up is that the parents need to let the kids do more for themselves, and that helps them in the long run.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Exactly. And I had another lady, and this isn't her fault. she was speaking with a gentleman about, I think, rent for her son. The guy knew that her son was autistic, yet he didn't talk to her son. He kept talking to her. And she would say, why don't you ask my son? He definitely can answer anything that you're asking him. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:21:12 So it does go both ways. Sometimes the parents need to step back and let their kids take over. But then sometimes the parents need to step up and support their kids, just like that. Get parents on board with that would be really helpful. A lot of people do not understand autism.
Starting point is 00:21:28 So if they hear the word or they hear that someone is autistic, they look at it as it's a death sentence and it's really not. They're very capable of doing anything just like you and just like me. Exactly. And we use Temple Grandin's word all the time
Starting point is 00:21:44 that it's not that they can't do it. They just need to find their workaround. Right. She uses that word all the time. And so we are always trying to help our clients find the worker end. Yes, you can accomplish this. Now let's figure out how you're going to do that. Then you've got the different levels of autism where some can do some things where some can't. Some are great with hands-on. Some are great thinkers. There are just so many different variations that people have to learn.
Starting point is 00:22:10 That's not going to stop them from keeping working the way they can. Yeah. Right. That's why it's so critical, like at the high school level or the post-secondary level that we did a lot of vocational assessments. to see what individuals interested in, what their strengths or what their weaknesses are. Do they like to work with people? Do they like to work alone? Do they like to work outside? Do they want to be inside in an office area or in a store with a lot of hustle and bustle? So those things are critical to ascertain prior to their employment so that that leads to success in the employment world rather than just, oh, I think you'd be great at McDonald's. Go for it. And they have no desire to be in fast food, you know? Right, right. Now, on the dating side, I'm curious to how.
Starting point is 00:22:51 how you approach that. I was talking with a public speaker. He told me that you'd be really surprised that after he spoke about his family and his kids, he actually had people coming up to him and they were quite surprised because they didn't think that autistic people could actually have kids. Right. Exactly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I'm not, you know, that is surprised at that. Yeah. Yeah. So how do you handle this? You've got people out there thinking that autistic people can't handle it. But yet all it is is just human nature and kids being kids. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:27 How do you work with the male or the female so they can get an understanding on what the process is? Because they don't want to move too fast. They don't want to move too slow. But it's a real fine line on making it happen correctly. We did that in our dating group. And that's, I mean, it's critical. So we do a lot of role playing. We did an awful lot of role playing in different, presenting different scenarios.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I was like, you know, been dating Johnny for only one week and Johnny wants to do thus and so. Is that moving the relationship too quickly? You have the ability to say no. But you've been dating now Johnny for two years and he wants to really start putting his arm around you. What do you think about that? We start talking about the various consequences. So we got very graphic in a sense of very specific terms of graphic around body parts and what those body parts do. Because the young adult didn't really know.
Starting point is 00:24:20 And when we had one mom call us and say, well, why do you have to teach that? We said, well, your son's 24. And would you like for him to learn that from a friend or from the internet? Or would you like to teach him? She's like, no, go right ahead. You go right ahead and do it. Yeah. Just like everybody else.
Starting point is 00:24:39 And they want that those intimate relationships just like everybody else does. And so teaching them how to do that in the healthiest way possible is something that we find very important. Because if you don't, they're out there. We have, you know, they're out there trying to do things what they see on television or in movies. That's not realistic. And that it's very unhealthy. And so it becomes more of an acting thing for them.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Yeah, absolutely. So you just brought up an interesting point. A lot of autistic people have texture issues. So they're sensitive to taste. They're sensitive to clothes. There's another part of that texture that is not clothes or food. It's touching. It's that ability to embrace, feel that hug, feel that warmth.
Starting point is 00:25:23 So what do you do to break that down for the person that might have those kind of issues? Right. Well, through sort of a desensitization process and then also working with the client in asking permission. Like the one young man that we were working with that we just recently got the job at Vanderbilt, when we were all excited and we heard that he got the job, we said, may we hug you? you. And yes, it was, it was, you know, very sort of stiffened by that, but yet we asked the permission and he allowed that because we're working on, you know, when you're dating, like do you hold a young lady's hand or those different things, but through a desensitization kind of process.
Starting point is 00:26:05 We've done that with, here's with one of our clients that couldn't get half swallowing different things. So taking to whole food and going up and down the salad bar in the hut bar and having and pick out one or two things and then talking about the food item and how that might feel and touching it. Like I said, through a whole desensitization process. So no matter what the, you know, affinity is, it's like, okay, we'll take it step by step to work on making that individual feel comfortable with whatever it is. Okay. That makes sense. So you've been open for a year. Things are going good. Where do you see yourself three to five years from now? What do you anticipate this coming down the road for you.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I'd love to see it blown wide open and have more clients that we can handle. I think because the need is there. Yeah, I think the big goal would be that we could help train some other people to do what we're doing so that we don't have to do it by ourselves kind of spread the word that this is so needed
Starting point is 00:27:03 and then that it can be done so that other people can get on board and start maybe not working for social connections necessarily, but begin to build their own type of business in the same sense. Because the goal is not for us to make millions and millions of dollars. The goal is to really help the community and to help them be able to navigate the neurotypical world in a way that's so much more comfortable than it is currently. Yeah, right. So in today's world, we have a lot more exposure on TV, radio, news about autism. And that's a great thing,
Starting point is 00:27:37 because people are starting to understand a little bit about what it is. They're not understanding. a lot, but it is still a step in the right direction. So how do you move forward with people and how do you know that they're doing it for the right reason and they're not just trying to take advantage of a particular situation? Yeah. I think the important thing for us is that we really practice and we help our other people in the community practice communicating like you and I are communicating now. Find something they're interested in, find something that they like to do, and then find a connection in an arena that both of you have something similar in, and then spend time either doing that together for communicating about that or talking about that
Starting point is 00:28:20 or sharing experiences about that and helping people just start connecting in ways that are just the way everybody else connects. Yeah. Okay. So have you had someone come to you? You sat down, you talked with them, you looked at each other. In the back of your minds, you just thought this could be a total disaster. Then all of a sudden, it turned out to be a success story. Well, actually, this one young man that we got the job at Vanderbilt at first, his autism was such that, you know, he would not look at us and make eye contact and all of that. Right. He was so brilliant. As Missy said previously, his education level was, I mean, far superior to ours in the sense that he would be in sessions and just going on on tangents talking about all these scientists and these, you know, experiments that,
Starting point is 00:29:10 And I had no idea what he was talking about. And we thought, oh, God, we're never going to get this young man a job. He's never going to sort of come down to reality, so to speak. Because at times we would just like pull him in, like, okay, come on back down to earth here. You know, you're way out there, buddy. But he really did turn around. And it's just so gratifying to see him being able to make eye contact with us and witness and understand his own progress. And now to be gainfully employed. So we were very proud of that. You know, we were. were excited to see that actually had it. And I think the other piece to that for us is that when we would notice something like that that's going on, that they would go off on a tangent somewhere that had nothing to do with what we were talking about. We are pretty blunt and pretty direct and be like, okay, tell us how we got there. Right. Tell us how we got to that part of the conversation. And if they couldn't tie it back to what we were talking about, we would use that as a perfect example as to, okay, that's not something we do when we're in communication with other people. We learn to navigate this neurotypical world by staying on topic or by connecting with the person you're with.
Starting point is 00:30:14 And if you can connect the two things together, by all means, continue to have that part of the conversation. But if somebody starts looking at you with a blank stare on their face and starts looking at their phone or their watch or trying to get away from the conversation, you know you've gone too far. So helping them pick up on those social cues. And the way that we do that is she and I will break into a role play in the middle of the middle of session, acting, you know, talking through a conversation. If they can see it happening in front of them, it's like it clicks. Right. And so it's something that makes something very abstract, very concrete for one. Right. Really applying, bringing it to what is important to them. Like again, this young man,
Starting point is 00:30:51 his next thing is that he wanted to date. So we would use that and say, okay, imagine yourself hot on a date and you start talking about some scientist, you know, law of relativity or some kind of theory or experiment. And the poor woman sitting there like Missy said, looking at her watch, you know, tapping her fingers, bored to death. That would be the cue that that young lady is not interested in hearing that. So again, Missy and I would role play something like that, but we would bring it down to very practical, applicable goals that they wanted to work on. Right.
Starting point is 00:31:23 So now, are you just working in Metro Nashville or are you working outside of Nashville? Outside of Nashville as well. We do telehealth. We have one young man in Chattanooga and another man in a, you know, surrounding county. so we are capable and are interested in doing telehealth anywhere that we need to be, but we can help. Okay, good. Counseling license doesn't allow me to do telehealth unless I'm in the same state as the person
Starting point is 00:31:48 they're in. So I'm licensed in the state of Tennessee. So for me to do therapy with them, mental health therapy, they have to be in the state of Tennessee. So the coaching piece of our business does not, we're not bound by the same laws. Yeah. Okay, good. So how do people contact you?
Starting point is 00:32:04 We have a website. We're on Facebook. Social Connections.com. Or they can reach us on Facebook on social connections on Facebook as well. Or they can reach us KM. Dot social connections at Yahoo.com. Okay, great. So we've covered a lot. I think it's been a great conversation.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Is there anything that we missed or anything that you feel like you want to tell that I haven't asked? Gosh, I don't know. I think we've covered a lot of ground. I hope it's been helpful. Oh, absolutely. It's been great. No, you've asked all the right questions and, you know, really helped draw out all the information. It's just getting that information out to the public in regards to how they can get in touch with us.
Starting point is 00:32:45 And make a look at our website, take a look at our Facebook page. We're always updating the Facebook page with different pieces of information, sort of helpful hints, little tidbits of information. So we keep that current every couple of weeks. Thank you. And this week we posted kind of a comparison between how autism presents and, children versus how it presents an adult. Yeah. It looks like Nashville has embraced you and you're definitely headed in the right direction with your business. Yeah, we were asked to speak at the library and then one with library here. And then once we spoke there, they've asked us to come back and do
Starting point is 00:33:18 two more presentations for them. And so that's been really helpful. And then we've connected with some book rehab services here in the area and some community based programs that they have. And so that's been really, really good for them and for us as well. Well, it's been great. and I really do appreciate you coming on to the show. Feel very honored. We appreciate getting in touch with you. Oh, it's been my pleasure. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today.
Starting point is 00:33:51 We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to tonymentor.com, contact, then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask, tell everyone everywhere about why not me, the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone, everywhere, that you are not alone in this world.

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