Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Kristi Mickelson: A Mother's Crusade in Education and Advocacy for Autistic Children

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Send us a text When Kristy Mickelsen, a romance author turned fierce advocate, first noticed the early signs of autism in her children, she embarked on a journey many parents can relate to—one filled with determination, love, and the pursuit of understanding. Our heartfelt conversation with Kristi in today's episode is not just a story of parenting autistic children, but a deeper look into the fabric of family, advocacy, and the power of relentless support. She captures the essence of her fight against a system that underestimated her kids, revealing a mother's unwavering dedication to altering the trajectory of their lives, even if it meant starting her own school to cater to their educational needs. Navigating life with children on the autism spectrum brings its unique set of challenges and triumphs, as Kristy eloquently illustrates through the intricacies of her son's sensory processing disorder and her daughter's auditory processing difficulties. The family dynamic, punctuated by adaptability and education, is a testament to the resilience inherent in families like Kristy's. They've turned obstacles into opportunities for growth, and the close bond between her children showcases the beauty and depth of sibling relationships formed under such circumstances. Kristy's narrative encourages us to educate ourselves about autism and shows us the profound impact that knowledge and empathy can have on changing perceptions and strengthening connections. As we part ways with Kristy Mickelsen, her story leaves us inspired, reminding us that change often starts with a single individual's experience. As listeners, we're privy to the daily realities for families with autistic children, from sensory-sensitive lifestyle adaptations to the nurturing of special interests that provide solace and joy. Kristy's journey underscores the significance of changing one life at a time, and as your host, I am humbled to share these transformative tales with you. If Kristy's story moves you, know that there are many more voices waiting to be heard, and we invite you to continue joining us as we uncover them together in future episodes. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mayator. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World.

Today's guest is Christy Mickelson. She's a romance author and advocate for cancer, lupus, and autism. She's here to talk to us about her life and journey with her two autistic children. Thanks for coming on. I appreciate it. No, thank you. It's a wonderful opportunity. Oh, it's my pleasure. So I understand that you have two autistic children.

Correct. They're actually young adults now. Okay. Yeah, we've gone through a lot over the last 20 years. Okay, so what's their ages now? My son is 24, or no, excuse me, he just turned 25, and my daughter is 22. Okay. So at what age did you determine that something just wasn't quite right? Oh, gosh, okay. With my son, it was when he was a baby. He was born four weeks premature. Okay.

And when he was born, he was born not breathing. He was turned blue. They had to do emergency surgery through the umbilical cord to get him breathing again. Wow. But shortly after, it was like six months after, he would start going into these tantrums where his face would go blue. He would pass out on me. Wow.

And it baffled the doctors back there and they're like, what is going on here? All they could come up was he was having baby temper tantrums. Come to find out later, like many, he was late diagnosed. He was diagnosed when he was 17. But we found out later that it was autism meltdowns at birth. A young age. Yeah, very young age. But he would also, as a toddler, spin in circles, clap his arms.

He would bang his head on the door. Right. And being a new parent, because I was only 18. I didn't know. I just thought it was a young boy being a young boy, you know. Right, right. And then my daughter was diagnosed at the age of seven. Okay.

But I kind of knew beforehand she would not talk, she would talk, but it would come out as a fast gibberish talk. Right. You could never understand her. And her schedule, she had a very tight schedule. She had to watch Tom and Jerry at 11 a.m. She had to eat at a certain time. And if those schedules weren't attended to, she would throw things at your head and she would go into meltdown. Okay.

And then when I put her into kindergarten, So she was having meltdowns in an early age. What age was that? And was she going to school when that started happening? Yeah, she was seven years old and she started kindergarten. And she was having the meltdowns and everything. And when she was in school, teachers started coming up to my mom because I was a full-time teacher. And so people were coming up to my mom who would take her to school and tell her,

your granddaughter's off the wall. She's strange. We don't understand her. Wow. It made my mom so. upset. She started crying and she called me at work. I went down to the school to find out what was going on and they told me they thought she just couldn't learn. They called her stupid. And so I ended up fighting the school board because they were telling me my daughter would never learn.

Well, she ended up having to go through the testing and the observations and everything and they found out she was autistic with auditory processing disorder and she has mild mental retardation. That's tough. So did your son go through anything like this? What was his situation when he was that age? For him, schooling was very difficult because people didn't understand him as well. He was considered strange to the boys. The teachers were open again. But to all the other little boys, he was strange because he liked to be by himself. Right. He would constantly run.

He loved to run. Okay. But other than that, besides learning, like, he had a hard time learning as well. So did you get to the point where you had to go into a different school system that understood them more so that you could get a better education for them? And that's kind of a difficult story itself. Back in that time, because remember this was 18 years ago. Right. My father was a cancer patient.

and I was a full-time teacher at a different school. So my parents took care of both of them while I was working. And with my dad having the cancer, they were constantly going down to a different place for cancer treatments and stuff. And so my kids were pulled out of school and put on to independent studies. But the independent studies was through a charter school

and the charter school refused. I mean, they worked with them for a little while, but in my daughter's IEP, they put she would never graduate. She is like rain man. Wow. And I got mad because that's just wrong to say that they could never learn. Yes.

You know, it's so untrue. Autistics can learn. Sure. I went down to the school and I ended up in a due process hearing. I mean, because they thought I was neglecting my children by putting them through independent studies. No matter what our situation was with the cancer treatments and me working full time. So we ended up with a long fight for my children to have an education. I won a little bit with that.

They were able to give my children six months more of education, but I was finally able to start my own school. Because back in California, at those times when I lived in California, you weren't allowed to independently teach your children to homeschool, what they call it. Right, right. So I opened up my own school. I had to sign affidavits stating that I would not use the school's curriculum or anything. And I was already a teacher.

So I was like, you know, I can do this stuff at home. So I started teaching them. And now my son, who they said could never get an education, who can never have a job. My son now works. He works at a local car wash. He has medical insurance. He gets tips. He made friends.

These are the ass things that the school system try to tell me that my kids can never have. That's great. My daughter, she now cooks dinner. She washes dishes. She washes clothes. She has a support animal that she takes care of. They now are able. to thrive into the world today when the school system back then told them they couldn't. So I really

want your listeners to know, follow your heart, follow your gut as a parent. Don't take nothing from other people about what you can or cannot do with your child. You know their voice. You know them best. Absolutely. Yeah, that makes great sense. When you first started finding out that they were autistic, how did you adapt to that? Because it's one thing having one, but then it's another thing having two. Each autistic person is different from themselves. How did that affect you and how did you react to it? What was your way that you could cope with it? At first, it was kind of shocking, but at the same time, deep down I knew.

Again, I worked special needs for a preschool, so I knew what to look for. But it was also shocking because you don't expect that of your children. It's kind of scary. It's really kind of scary because you don't know what to expect. Right. And then trying to. to learn everything about the autism spectrum because my son was so different than my daughter. He's very high functioning with sensory processing disorder where he can't handle certain sounds

and he can't handle certain textures of food. Right. But my daughter, on the other hand, she's moderate severe, but with auditory processing disorder, which is where she can't understand certain directions. Right. So, but she loved animals and my son couldn't handle the same. So it was a big adaption trying to figure out how do I mother one child and be completely different with the other because they both had such different needs.

Absolutely. It was a shock. It was a shock. And I think as a mom, you just kind of learn to adapt to it. Right. I'm not even sure how to explain it, Tony. But yeah, it's a huge shock. And I think the best advice that I can say is to do everything you can to learn about

autism. Learn about your child type of autism because there's different types of autism. Exactly. The spectrum is huge. Learn about your child individual type and do everything you can for them. So how did, how did that affect your circle of friends? Everything's going along. You know, you think you've got the all-American family and then you find that you've got an autistic child. Then all of a sudden you find that you have another autistic child. So that that, requires a certain amount of dedication from you, as you just said, but it also affects what you can do and can't do socially because of what they need. How did that affect that end of it for you? That was actually very difficult, to be honest with you. A lot of people back then and still now,

to this day, didn't understand autism. Right. So they thought if my children went into a meltdown, that they were crazy. Right. And so a lot of people wouldn't come over. My husband was a truck driver, and I was alone most of the time. I ended up moving in with my parents just to have somebody to have my back. Sure. Because nobody would come over. That's tough.

It was very sad and I lost a lot of friends. But as my children got older, I would say, no, preteen area. I was able to, since I had educated myself on autism, I was able to educate my friends and show them how to interact with my children. Sure. And I was able to have friends again.

And it's been amazing that when you learn and when you educate yourself, that's when things will change for you. I mean, yes, it's very scary and very hard to deal with things alone at first. Right. Because a lot of people will not understand what you're going through. It was very emotional. But once you learn what you need to do, I think you just learn to go with it. And you start teaching people about it.

And they start to understand. And I get so many compliments now that my children are very well behaved and it shocks people. I didn't expect that of autism. Yeah. Just because they're autistic doesn't mean that they don't know manners and that they shouldn't have manners, you know. Yes, it's very unfortunate. I interviewed one person that was a public speaker. He actually had people coming up commenting to him saying they didn't realize that autistic people could have children.

So you are 100% correct. People just do not understand. Exactly. And it's so sad. And that's one of the reasons I'm an advocate for autism awareness. People need to know that they are just normal people. They are people that only differences they think differently than we do. It is a cognitive disability. It doesn't mean they're crazy. Right. It just means they think different. My daughter, for instance, she thinks in pictures. Yes. So if you tell her a direction, like, please go get me a cup of water. In the beginning when she was learning what that, meant, I had to use what it was called a pex board. Right. And a pex board is basically a board with visual cards on it. And you teach them through that. And then they start to adapt to these visuals and they'll learn.

Right. Now, what's the age difference between your son and your daughter? Three years. Three years. Okay. So with three years difference, they're both autistic, both at different levels of the spectrum, how do they get along? Do they interact well?

Actually, I'm very surprised. they are almost best friends. My son is very, very, very protective of his sister. And she is very protective of him. And they think about each other all the time. Like if he gets something from the store, like if he gets a paycheck from work, he makes sure that he buys his sister something, which I think is wonderful. Oh, yeah.

And she's the same way. She's always thinking about what can I do for Josh, you know. And they're best friends. And I absolutely love that. I'm very proud of that of my kids. they've grown up to protect each other, love each other, and they understand each other. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a very integral part of family. And sometimes when you have one autistic child, let alone two, that can disrupt the family dynamic and cause a lot of issues.

You know, that's actually correct. My husband did not understand my children when they were younger. And you got to remember, too, he's a truck driver who really isn't home. So when he would come home and one of them in meltdown for some, you know, for some reason when they were younger, he thought at the time, he goes, why aren't you disciplining them? Right. I go, honey, there's certain, there's certain ways to discipline them. But right now when they're in a meltdown, they need that few moments to gather themselves. Right. A meltdown isn't them throwing a temper tantrum because they're mad. It's because they don't understand what's happening around them. Exactly. It took a lot for my husband to finally understand what was going on.

how to work with them, how to tease them, how to play with them. It's very hard on a marriage. It is. Because the mother's fully invested and the fathers sometimes, don't get me wrong, there's a lot of fathers out there that are fully invested in their children too. But I think it takes them just a tad bit longer to fully understand because of the mother, you know, constantly, you know, being a mom. Right, right.

Yeah, that's true. I've talked with a lot of, a lot of parents and it took them a while. There was one parent I spoke with, and he knew a lot about autism, so he accepted it a lot quicker. And then there was another one I spoke with, it almost destroyed their marriage. And then, because I talk with several people where it has, because I think it's, I can't remember the numbers, but I think it's like in the 80 percentile range of divorces of autistic children. Yes. It's high. Yes.

And that's sad. It is. And I want to correct myself, because I don't want to offend anybody or anything. like that. I am absolutely not saying that any father's out there have a hard time accepting it or take longer. What I do mean, though, is a mother naturally has their child in their belly, you know, in their womb for months. Right. And you already form connection. And that's what I mean by that. It takes the father just a little bit longer because they haven't had that connection. Right. But I have met from several wonderful autism dads because sometimes it's the mom who couldn't handle it.

Yeah. And the mom ends up leaving. Right. So I tip all parents of all special needs, autism, anywhere, any kind of special need, all parents, I tip every single one of them because it's very hard to deal with, but we love our kids. It is. You just can't give up on them because they don't know and they didn't ask to be different. They just turned out that way.

So you have to learn how to adapt, how to develop it and make it work. I mean, sometimes depending upon where they land, they can make it work. others sometimes can't. You know, it's unfortunate. Yeah, it's a collective effort from everybody, that's for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. You said that one had textures issues, the other one had issues with sound. Have they got that under control now where they can at least come into something that's a little bit different than that's not their comfort zone, but they can still work through it and be okay? Oh, pretty much. My son, it took a lot longer. And we tried everything because he can't handle

sounds like we have a turtle that is a water turtle. He stays in the water tank and that turtle would scratch the the rocks on the bottom of the tank and that would just irritate my son. It took a long time for us. We would have to have him sit in that room

even though he would throw a meltdown sit in that room for five minutes at a time until he can gradually learn to deal with it. And a lot of parents, I'm going to be honest with you. A lot of parents would not agree with my method on that. But it worked for my son. you have to know your child.

Right. I would try earphones with my son. Sometimes that worked and it didn't. He can't handle dogs barking. So we tried the earphones. Right. And the sound for him amplifies. So if a dog barks, it amplifies and it would hurt his ears.

Yeah. Now that he's older and he's around more noises because he's also a huge wrestling fan and he tried out for a professional wrestling. Okay. And he had to learn the sounds of the wrestling. So he learned to deal with it. like he forced himself to sit in those rooms with those loud noises for a while until he was able to handle it. And like I said, some parents will not agree to that method, but it worked for my child.

You just have to know your child. Yeah, you have to do what works for each individual. You can't, there's not one size fits all. Exactly. My daughter, she doesn't really have any sensory issues, but she does have the auditory processing. And that just, that's something we can't change. she just has a hard time understanding. So like if you were to say, get me water like I used earlier,

all she's going to hear is otter. Okay. She only hears part of what you're saying. Right. You have to use visuals until they get used to hearing those strange words, then they understand it. Right. Now, you mentioned one had texture issues?

That would be my son, yes. He would have a hard time with the tags on his shirt. Okay. He would constantly have to cut those off, or he likes to chew. So he would chew his shirt. He would chew on his nails. Okay.

Chewing on pens. And he also has issues with textures of food. Yeah, that's my next question. Yeah, he can't be on meatloaf, but he loves hamburgers. It's the texture of it. Yeah. And my daughter's very picky. She has a very minimal menu.

It's grilled cheese, pizza, or burritos, pretty much. That's what my daughter loves. Okay. What do they do for? for just chill time. They work now, they get out there, they intermingle with other people. When they want to just take and relax, do they have anything that they just immerse themselves into? My son is, he's the one that's able to work. He's very high functioning. Okay.

But he, to just relax, loves to watch video blogs, blogs, I'm sure, I forget what they're called. Okay. But he loves to watch those on reptiles because one of his obsessions is reptiles, especially snake. Okay. And he loves wrestling. So he'll sit back and he'll watch WWE for hours and learn the moves by visually watching it. And then my daughter to relax, she loves her dog. Her dog is her emotional of course animal. His name is rolling. What kind of dog? He's a jack terrier. Okay. And then she loves to play her Xbox and just to chill for a while. She loves to watch I Love Lucy reruns. Okay. All right. Now, they say that a lot of

of autistic people will get very focused. And when they get that bull's eye that they've zoomed in on, they're going to learn everything and immerse themselves and everything they can possibly know. Are they both that way as well? My son is. Okay. He's like again, very into the wrestling. My daughter is severe or moderate severe with the mental retardation. Right. And she doesn't focus like that. It's a completely different level with those of them. Yeah. Now you say that he's into wrestling and tried out for wrestling, how did that work out for him? He was actually in Topa, Texas pro wrestling training for quite a while. And then, unfortunately, with him being autistic, both kids when they were younger,

dealt with some bullying. Oh, yeah. Well, unfortunately, when you're in wrestling, you have to do what's called paying your dues. Right. And my son was doing head of security, or not head of security, but he was in security one night working for the head of security. And he was left alone for a few minutes due to the head of security head of where needs you to go deal with.

Right. And one of the people in the audience started calling him retarded. Oh. Started calling him a dummy. Yeah. Started telling him, why is he doing a man's job when he was just a little boy? My son was 21, I think, when he started. Okay.

And it really hurt him to the point where he came home and he cried. Oh. And he cried. And he said, mom, I'm tired of being stupid. And I had to tell him, son, you're not stupid. Nobody in this world is stupid. I'm sorry. That's how I feel there is no one in this world that is stupid.

Right. He ended up leaving wrestling because he didn't want to be a part of something where people can make fun of you. And when he's done that all, you know, he's not in that all the life. Yeah, yeah. So he left wrestling. But thankfully, the people that he trained with, and I have to give a shout out to his ex-trainer, Nathan Briggs, hired him at his day job. His shoot job is what they call it. Okay.

And he now works with his ex-trainer at a little car wash here in our local, town of Amarillo. Okay. And he made friends and he came out of his shell tremendously. And he has learned so much from that experience. Oh, that's good. So it was a good thing and a bad thing at the same time. Yeah, yeah.

So how is the family handle it all? We've gone through the friends and how you went through that. And because your parents handled it really well because you moved back with them. Do you have any other family that was questionable in the way they addressed it? Most have actually been pretty accepted with it. My husband's parents are no longer with us. Oh, okay. So they weren't around my children long enough to actually know most of it.

Right. My husband's sister is very good with it and my brother is absolutely wonderful with it. And my daughter's name is Cassie and ever since she was a baby, I guess to him, she looked like a little cabbage patch. So he calls her cabbage and they have this wonderful little uncle and niece relationship. it's been absolutely wonderful. And of course, I give a lot of shoutouts to my parents who helped raise my children. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's tremendous. I mean, you've got to have good role models in there. They can help them grow, help them build, learn things, be compassionate. It takes a village, as they say, right?

Absolutely. And unfortunately, I lost my father back in 2011, but he was a huge role model to my son because my husband, again, was a truck driver. So my father would go out and he would try to teach my son, like how to throw a ball, how to mow a lawn, like typical man things. Yeah. It's wonderful to have my parents there. And I tip my hat and I thank both of them, even though my father's no longer here. Yeah, yeah, that's unfortunately part of life. How do they handle, you know, speaking about just life, so many different things in this world

are upside down now and different things happen. And we have to scratch our heads and the way people look at things. How do they handle that? Because part of life is being able to deal with the bumps in the road that can come your way. Sometimes that's losing a family member or whatever. How is their ability to handle that developed? With my son, he takes the loss of a family member through death very, very, very hard. He gets angry and he gets very emotionally upset.

Like he understands that person is no longer here, but he takes it as they left him. Right. Like, yeah. And my daughter, it depends on who it is. Right. If it was somebody in the family that she was close to, such as my dad, she knows and she understands and she cries. And when she lost her first support dog, she cried. But with my husband's parents, she didn't really know them. So it really didn't affect her at all. Yeah. Yeah. What do you see for

them in the future? Now they're in their 20s. They're doing what they do. Where do you see the development going to? Well, with my son, I can honestly see him maybe a little bit longer down the road because he does think a little bit slower. And that's hard for some people to understand. But I see him actually getting married, maybe probably going back into the wrestling world now that he's a little bit older. He still loves it and he's very into that world. And with my daughter, her hopes are to work in a zoo. Oh, okay. So maybe I can get her into a volunteer program or something for that. But unfortunately, she is unable to actually work. Yeah. Because of the way she functions. Right. So if she was to work at a zoo, how would they have to approach that? What would you?

thought process beyond how that she would have to be handled to be able to do that kind of thing? She's very patient and very understanding. Okay. When you talk to her at her level, so basically with her mentality, she is not 23 mentally. Right. She is about 12 mentally, so you have to talk to her in that aspect. Sure. And sometimes even lower.

It depends on the subject. Right. So when it comes to teaching her something, I have to actually teach her at a kindergarten level. So that's how they would have to approach it. Right. And this place is out there that will do that. You should have to find the right place. Absolutely. And I have to say back when we lived in California about four years ago, and I lived there most of my life, there wasn't a lot of opportunities for autistic out there.

But when I moved here to Texas, I took my hat to Texas on this. I moved here to Texas and all of a sudden both of my kids were getting opportunities for things. Great. So I think as a parent, you need to find out is the place. that you're at suitable for your children. And if you're putting them in school, check out your school and see how they treat autistics because there are some schools out there

that are very mean and they're abusive. And like I guess my words of advice for all anything in life with your children with autism, make sure you research everything. Yes. That is the biggest key is research everything from schoolings to homes to cities to people, just research everything.

Yeah, well, that's good that you're son's doing well, and it's good that your daughter is finding her place. This is something that comes up, not every podcast, but several. The parents worry about their kids on what happens when we're not here. Have you kind of looked in the future a little bit? Does that scare you, or do you think everything will be okay? Have you got plans? What's your thoughts on that? You know, Tony, that's something that I worry about on a daily basis. Okay. Again, my son takes everything very hard. My daughter sometimes understands and very emotional in some things. And for a long time, I couldn't figure out what I would do because my son, he's high functioning all that and he can work,

but my daughter cannot. Right. So I've been going through friends like, hey, you know, if anything ever happened to me, do you think you can handle this? And truthfully, most of them said no. Yeah. That they couldn't handle it. But however, my son's boss, his ex wrestling trainer, he looked at me, what about three weeks ago actually this is a very new subject that we were actually been talking about and he goes where are you going to do if something ever happens and so I told him what my worry was

and he goes well you know Josh your son he's able to be okay but we had a little house in the back we'll put him in the little house in the back and we'll put Cassie in the front and you know in the in the main house with us and they know us and they're willing to take on the challenge

and I thought that was absolutely fabulous and wonderful. That is that is. Truthfully, it touched my heart because you don't hear too many people's offering them. No, no, I mean, we're a, unfortunately, we're a me world right now. You know, what's in it for me? Insanately. Not what's in it for you or how can I help.

But there's a lot of good people out there. I mean, this just proves that you've got one right there, right in your backyard, and that's a great thing. So it just shows that even though we can look, find bad, every day on the news and in the world, there's still some good. Absolutely. And I tip my hat to the good ones out there because people like us, people that are special needs families, we need good people like you to just offer a little help sometimes.

You never know just what you could be doing for that family. Absolutely. So what's some words of advice that you would give to, let's say, you come across a person, they just found out that they've got an autistic son or daughter. What's some words of advice that you could give? Someone's listened to this podcast that's just new to the autistic world, and now they're trying to figure it out. What's some tips that you could give?

I think my very first tip, and I think the most important one, is to love your child regardless, number one. Sure. Number two, definitely, again, research everything. The Internet's wonderful. Talk to doctors, talk to schools. Research everything you can on the autism spectrum. research how your schools in the local area treat autistics.

Research is the key for everything. And I think the third one would be to be the voice for your child. Be the voice and make a difference for your child because they may not have a voice for themselves. And they're going to need someone who can stand up for them. That is the hugest part right there. And again, show your child unconditional love and try to have patience because it is very nerve-wracking sometimes. You'll want to pull your hair out. Yeah. But have patience, love your child, and try to educate your friends a little bit in a nice way so that they understand and you don't lose your

friends. Sure, because it's the great unknown. Exactly. When people are first starting out, they don't know anything about it. There's nothing worse than not knowing anything about it. Because you can do your research, you're going to find 15 different ways of approaching something, but you don't know which one's the right way. Exactly. You have to know your child. As you go, you'll know what your child can and cannot handle. Right. And I think that's the most important thing is, and if you have two children in the house, don't try to discipline them both the same way.

Right. Because it doesn't work. One can handle it and one cannot. You have to find your personal, you know, your needs for that child. Right. Absolutely. Well, it's been a great conversation. I've really enjoyed it.

I really appreciate you taking the time to come on. Thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure. And I really have. hope that somebody gets some kind of something out of this because autism, we need more acceptance out there, Tony. We really do. People know about it, but they don't really know what it is. And I hope people listening to this get a little bit of knowledge and know that they're not strange people. They're just people that think a little differently than we do. Yeah, absolutely.

Actually, my podcast slogan is autism, awareness, acceptance, and understanding. I did a lot of research myself before I started this. And the biggest thing I found that was the understanding part of it. So that's kind of what I'm pushing with this podcast is the understanding part. And hopefully, each one will have a tidbit of information that somebody can use if it helps one person as a win. Absolutely. Changes the way that everybody thinks one person at a time. And I'm not saying to change the entire world, but one person at a time, that's all we can help for. Exactly. Exactly. Well, good. I think we've got that. Thanks for coming on. for taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today.

We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know anyone that would like to tell us their story, send them to tonymentor.com, contact, then they can give us their information so one day they may be a guest on our show. One more thing we ask, tell everyone everywhere about, why not me, the world, the conversations we're having and the inspiration our guests give to everyone, everywhere that you are not alone in this world.