Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Liam Edward Golder: late Diagnoses and New Perspectives

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

Late Autism Diagnoses, Music, and Seeing Family Through a New Lens with Liam Edward Golder Host Tony Mantor welcomes listeners to Why Not Me: Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide and interviews Liam Edward Golder, a London-born music PR professional and songwriter now living in New York. Liam shares discovering his own autism later in life after his father was diagnosed around age 70, and describes how late clarity brought relief, acceptance, and a new understanding of his father’s withdrawal and difficulty reading emotions. He discusses traits such as overwhelm with menus, sensitivity to crowds, loud noise and bright lights, hyperfocus on music, photographic memory, and co-occurring ADHD and anxiety, reframing autism as a creative strength that supported a 30-year music career working with many artists. Liam also describes helping translate situations for his father, who also has paranoid personality disorder, and shares his goal of inspiring others that autism doesn’t have to limit achievement. 01:18 Meet Liam Golder 02:12 Creativity as Strength 03:36 Dad’s Late Diagnosis 04:15 Shared Traits and Triggers 05:37 Rethinking Autism 06:49 Getting Diagnosed and Relief 07:41 Telling Family and Support 08:49 Translating for Dad 13:13 Burnout and Anxiety 14:35 Acceptance and Purpose 17:34 Music Career and Structure 19:17 Legacy and Inspiration 20:28 Connection with Dad 23:07 Living Confidently Now 23:52 Closing and Call to Share The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide, hosted by Tony Meantor. Broadcasting from the heart of Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests share their raw, howful stories. Some will spark laughter, others will move you to tears. These real-life journeys inspire, connect, and remind you that your never alone. We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance, and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Tune in, be inspired, and join us in transforming the world one story at a time.

Hi, I'm Tony Mayator. Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide. Before we jump in, if you haven't already, tap the follow button. It takes two seconds, and it helps more families that need to hear these conversations. Joining us today is Liam Edward Golder. His artistic journey did not begin in childhood

with a clear roadmap. It unfolded later in his life. Not only did he find out later in life, but his father was diagnosed autistic at age 70. This conversation is about what happens when clarity arise late, how it can bring relief, grief, validation, and healing all at the same time. It's about seeing your parent and yourself through a new lens.

He has a great story to tell. So before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors. Thanks for joining us today. No, I appreciate you asking you on. It's amazing. Really, really excited. Yes, great to have you on. You just mentioned you recently discovered

you are autistic. If you would, tell us a little bit about that. Yeah, yeah, what it is. I basically I've got family with autism, basically my dad. I'll go more into that as well, but my dad got diagnosed late with autism and Asperger's syndrome and my nephew as well, autism. And it didn't occur to me, really, that I had it as well, you know, and then I started to notice patterns and things and part of the show and the build-up of different things that have happened, she led me to realize why I basically have got it as well. So it's because mine is actually a lot to do of creativity. And mine actually I see as a strength, which I've realised rather than something to be seen as a weakness or a worry or something to be, you know, concerned about. It's led me to the world of

creativity through my music, you know, through having a career, full-time job in music, you know, 30 years in music as a songwriter and singer and promoter for different celebrity eyes as well and all these fens. But my creative brain, because of the autism and I've got ADHD as well, to add to it. But it's basically a realise that my creative brain and my ideas and the way I look at the world differently has really helped with the music and helping others with the songs and

it's a strength. You know, song ideas, I get very easily, I get words very easily in my head. I've got like a photographic memory. I could write a song just from scratch on the spot sort of thing and helping, say, working in music and that creative aspects of that. And I realised through the family, so I've probably got it through the generation of my own dad. How long ago was it when you found out that your dad was autistic?

It probably was about, roughly about 10 years ago, because he was diagnosed really late. He wasn't diagnosed until he was about probably 70. Oh, wow. Okay. And he'd been living with this for so long, and, you know, his mannerisms are very drawn, like I can be, I can look quite straight-faced. He looks very expressionist at times. He doesn't, you know, he doesn't understand what's going on sometimes. He doesn't understand emotions sometimes.

Mine's different. way I get it is different. You both have a certain thing in common is that you both have been diagnosed autistic later in life. Yeah. With that said, what are some of the similar things that you see you both have in common? Similar things, I think we can be quite, both, both us can be withdrawn. I mean, certain situations. I'm very, like, dad will be on his own a lot and he will be in his own mind on his own thoughts. And I get that sometimes. where I can be very much. I'm great in crowds, even though I work in music and I love music and stuff.

We're both not that great in crowds and loud noises. I can totally understand that. Yeah, you know, the headphones and all that stuff. I lose myself in the headphones quite a lot. When you learn that your dad was autistic, did that lead you down the path to questioning about yourself at all? A bit at the time, but I was very lost in his diagnosis. I got very lost in that at the time.

I used to look at autism very differently and the symptoms and things. And I think there's that stereotype of what autism is or how it should be or what people think it is, you know, sometimes. Because he's like a quite a version of me. I didn't think as much about myself at the time. I thought more about him. But as time went on, I started noticing things in myself. Like menus I find really hard to read.

I feel very overwhelmed. I started noticing, especially in New York, over the years, that every time there's a menu, I was overwhelmed with trying to look at this menu. To me, it looks like an Atlas. I'm like completely overruled with it. It just feels like so much information. I'm curious. Everyone has their perception of what they think autism is?

Yeah, yeah. So what were your perceptions of what you think autism was? And then when your father was diagnosed, did it change your perception at all? Yeah, I even worked in autism, but I used to always think it was just a vagueness, you know, not responding to other human emotions and being very cut off from the world and things.

I used to just think that. And then I realized it wasn't just that. There's so much more to it, you know, as well as seeing shapes or hearing sounds or processing things differently in people and not always recognising people's emotions or things, which he does a lot. He doesn't recognise people's emotion sometimes. And you have to remind him. And they go, oh, oh, all right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, they're thinking that. That person is thinking this and they're upset about this or they're worried about this. They go, oh, well, I can register it. Sometimes I don't always register it. But that was one of the friends. But bright lights as well, I notice, even in the supermarkets, bright lights,

would get me a bit, like in the shops, you know, the bright lights or up in the bathroom and that's all the phone or we like that. But I'll say the big thing for me has been music. My big obsession is music and I always was stuck on a lot on one subject, which has been that. When you learned of your diagnosis of being autistic, did you get that through a therapist? And then, once it was confirmed that you truly are autistic, what went through your mind? What were some of the first thoughts that you were thinking with your new diagnosis? Yeah, it was like a fair piece of years ago in the beginning And then I recently found out more about it

Since the show and I thought to myself But when I found out and it was like confirmed I was like well actually it makes sense now I always felt a bit weird Sometimes I felt very different from the world a lot I always felt like I didn't fit into a lot of situations And always felt a bit odd Or it's very different

And I can never understand why apart from the ADHD And then I thought Oh you know, because I say photographic memory And I can remember like loads of numbers But I remember feeling actually quite relieved and happy that I actually found, I thought, oh, that makes sense. Now, I feel relieved. And like I said earlier, I feel now that I can use it as a strength. Sure. Now, did you tell anyone? Yeah. Perfect. Now, who did you tell? And of course, what was the reaction to the diagnosis?

Well, my partner, my family, and they said, oh, yeah, course. That makes, that makes perfect sense, that as well, because some of the things that, you know, I said, I've always been good with numbers and remembering words and having this sort of being able to memorize things like what a lot of people would forget about. I just keep remembering all these like a number plate from 30 years ago, my dad's car and stuff like that. The big thing for me has been the music focus, like hyper focus on that. You know, I've worked to say 30 years in music helping others and famous people and it's not held me back, you know. My mind feels very busy at times and there's a lots of process. It's made me with a creative level of things at Excel really, I think, and I'm not seen it as a barrier.

I work with all different celebrity artists and music artists and write songs for them and promote them. And I'm side acts as well, you know, and it's a daily, it's a full-time job and potentially working with hot chocolate and from the UK. Lots of other people, like Rutan clan potentially and lots of big names, you know, like, say, Lincoln Park and what I've done before, Adele and stuff. Did you ever feel like you was a translator for your father to other people? Yeah, yeah, sometimes it has felt like a translator, yeah, because I've had to sort of, be a messenger sort of friend. Yeah, because he was autistic and still trying to comprehend things.

Autistic. And he's got, yeah, and he's also got paranoid personality disorder, just to add to it. So that obviously has been a challenge as well. He thought someone was trying to trick him or against him or something, you know. Like as someone like our old dog, the pet dog, he'd think that they were trying to take the dog or something and I'd have to, you know, reassure him and say, no, they're not trying to take the dog. They're just saying hello to the dog. It's all good intentions, you know. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. When you found out your father was autistic and then later realized you were autistic too,

did that change how you understood him? Did it help you separate his struggles from his strengths and see them through a different lens? Was there ever a moment where you thought he wasn't being distant or difficult? He was just being overwhelmed. Absolutely. Yeah, I realized why he struggled for his life, you know.

I realized why he was so, withdrawn and why he found it hard to communicate with people. It also clicks into place that he was the reason why he, Harry was, you know, but he wouldn't react to certain situations at all. Right. Now, after his late diagnosis, did you notice any shift in him, almost like a weight being lifted off his shoulders? Did having that understanding give him relief and of course some clarity in his life? I think so. I think so, because I think he'd always, He's always been like asking questions and thinking a similar thing why he felt different,

why he couldn't engage in connections easily, which I think I've struggled with in my life. I struggled to connect to people and have conversations and really sort of to feel understood as well. So I was not really feeling like not really feeling understood. I think it's a lot to do that as well. And he definitely felt different. And you could say to him, you could say all there's a fire outside or something, but it's wasn't and it just, it just goes, oh, all right. He wouldn't actually really anticipate a danger or worry or fear. You know, he wouldn't pick up on something to worry about. He just think, oh, I will.

Now, you say that you are originally from England, correct? Yes. Yeah, originally from London. Now, how long have you been here? Well, I've been in Newk, probably four years, four years. Okay, so have you noticed a difference in how people have reacted from where you were in England to the people that you deal with on a continued basis here in New York, have you noticed a difference or has it been about the same reaction in both areas? Well, not yet as such, because I'm not going into detail with all family in New York, but partner.

Apart from that, I've actually been going through some fact that UK, and they were just, you know, disappointed, really, and just was like, well, this is just what it is. We actually understand. And they went, oh, yeah, because you've always been like, they said to me. oh you've always been really good with numbers you've always been really good with words and songwriting and super focused on the music like really tunneled on it

and I said yeah because I could for a long time I used to think why am I so heavily focused on music all the time like constant my whole brain going through it all day long on subject of course I do think of other things were important you know like love

and other friends I have important things but the music is always like there and it's continually running and but I was like why music like why can't I think about something else or do something else, you know. I was really like trying to battle with that sometimes. Is there any part of you that kind of resisted your diagnosis, possibly because of what you witnessed growing up with your dad? Oh, I actually embraced it. Awesome. I had a sense of comfort in it, actually, because I thought, well, now that gives me the answers of why I was, you know,

some of the questions I had about different things and I'm thinking, why do I, why don't remember all in words and why do I remember all those numbers? And, you know, I remember people's like date of births very easily or star signs very easily or details about their, like they tell me something. Can I remember it? And they can, how did you remember that? When my parents got married, they told me once. And I remembered. And they said, they was like, wow, you remembered that church. And yeah, I'll say, with the songs, I can just breathe off a song. And like, normally I could just, I could do a song live and just like literally write a whole song. Have you had any stressors meltdowns? Have that affected you in any way at all?

Burnouts, yeah. I think I've had mental burnouts. I think where I've worked so hard and I'm getting so many ideas because my brain is very creative. So get so many creative ideas, mixed with the ADHD as well and anxiety. I've had balance of anxiety in my life. I think sometimes your brain can feel a bit overloaded, you know? Yeah, yeah, I can. Now, how do you deal with it? If you have some anxiety coming on, how do you put yourself in a position of where you can deal with it? Yeah. I, I, yeah. Yeah, I've had over the years, I've had anxiety, especially working in music and building that and getting that to a successful level. I'm knowing that, you know, I was basically, you know, music industry is a tough thing anyway. And on top of that, making a living for music to add to the, you know, plus having, you know, health conditions, you know, it's a lot to do.

Because I've got other people's careers in my hands as well, you know, they're depending on me. I'm trying to do the best I can do. It's been really successful. It continues to build. I've worked with over 80 different celebrities, wrote with some of them as well, so I'm writing. done things that I wouldn't even have imagined that I would have achieved, you know, to achieving it, you know. And I'm not letting the autism or anything hold me back, you know.

It's actually now a superpower, almost, you know. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great way of looking at it. Now, since you have gotten your diagnosis, have you seen a change? Now you're getting to know what autism is. You're starting to get a better grasp and understanding. How have you adjusted to this? and what kind of changes have you seen yourself make moving forward?

Yeah, acceptance, more acceptance as myself, because I really, I found it very hard to accept some of my patterns. You know, I felt very strange at times, and I thought, well, no one else is doing these fens that I know. So why am I memorizing all this stuff? Why am I so heavily focused on one subject sort of fair enough? But basically, I adjusted really quick because suddenly I've got the sort of clarity.

I've had the clarity on different areas and then I was like, oh, of course. Now that's absolutely completely. I'm not, you know, a doctor or working at school or all these things that you think about doing when you're a child. And they say, oh, you should go and be this or be that. The music for me always happened,

but I couldn't accept it for a long time, even though I was doing it. And I try to come away from it, but it keep coming back like a boomerang. So I could never, you know, couldn't escape it really. And now I enjoy it. I enjoy it. And I embrace it now because I accept the way I am

that I'm not actually, it's not like, it's not a hobby, it's not just saying I go do, you know, that, you know, people are engineers or whatever they do, and we've all got a purpose. It took me a long time, but now I've accepted my purpose and what I have and how my mind thinks, you know, obviously, and that it's okay. Now, most kids, as they're growing up, they always have these perceptions of their parents. Why do they make me do this? Why do they make me do that? They're always questioning them.

Ah, they don't know what they're talking about. did you have any challenges like that? He hadn't been diagnosed autistic yet, but he did have some of those tendencies. Then after he got his diagnosis and you found out he's autistic, then you get your diagnosis of being autistic. Did that build a bridge that made the both of you closer because of the understanding you gained from being autistic?

Yeah, I mean, he actually, I'm just, sorry, I'm just processing everything. Yeah, he just, like, after the diagnosis, I think, yeah, I did feel closer to him and understand more why he was. Because I didn't have the guidance, like, I didn't have the career guidance. I come away from school and I struggled through school sometimes. You know, I did well in the end, actually, but the social aspect I really struggled with, the actual academic side I struggled with in certain subjects, but excelled in, well, course, music, maths and English and friends. But I didn't have the guidance when I left school of what to do.

He didn't say anything to me. He didn't say, you should be thought about this job. We thought about that. He didn't say anything. And now I know why he didn't now because he wasn't thinking about it, because he was stuck in his autism. So I just found my own path, and obviously that led to the music. And I remember not even no guidance. And I remember thinking, that's just odd.

I thought, no guidance at all. Nothing, you know. But I don't hold it against him at all. Now, I understand why now. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Now, you say you're concentrating on your music. Yeah, 30 years now, 30 years of it, yeah. How do people find you?

Give us your websites and social media, so people can follow you on what you're doing. Yeah, I've got, it's, it's, well, because I do, what I do, I do, I do PR with marketing, communications for bands and songwriters, sinners, all kinds of music. Basically, the website or the company, Son Heroes, Music, PR, and the website is www. www.son-heroes dash, music, dash, PR.com. Look me up under Liamedricol. But Son Heroes is the company I've had for years and years.

I say 30 years I've been doing all this now. Yeah. So the marketing and PR and basic stuff. like a music agent for all different kinds of bands and famous and non-famous sinners and songwriters and every all kinds of music you know people can find out i do radio packages and tv magazines record labels music venues you know you know music for airports and shopping malls restaurants hotels all of that you know there's so much that i cover which my my creative brain just focuses on on like a machine really have you had any challenges that you've had to overcome because of your

autism with the work that you do and the clients? I think just having a structure. Like, I've got a really good structure with it. But, you know, if a lot's going on at once, you have to balance that and then learn to structure that. But any thinking life, just have that structure and balance with what's going on. And I think that, yeah, the challenge was just really prioritising what was important, feeling overwhelmed, like we talked about earlier, not to feel burnt out by the actual

client's or the workload. So it's just having that happy balance. you know. Now that you understand yourself better after your autism diagnosis, add to that, you now see your father's life in a different lens because of it. What kind of legacy are you hoping to carry forward now? Yeah, that's a great question. The music legacy, but also the health aspects, I am, you know, writing with different celebrity artists, seen in with them sometimes before, and promoting them, being their agent and publicists, really, but also while having ADHD and autism and a thing to be like, well, okay, you can achieve things. You know, you haven't got to be

put in a box or you haven't got to not a legacy is that you can, to help to inspire others because you can achieve these things. You know, you haven't got to just think, right, well, I've got autism or got ADHD or whatever you have and think, right, well, I'm not going to do anything, you know, I'm just going to sit there on the sofa and just put the headphones on and shut yourself off the world for the next 80 years or whatever. And I thought, no, I'm going to do something. You know, I'm not going to let it stop me in fact. It's now become the, fuel to make things even bigger and build that legacy even stronger and say to other people, you can do it. You can do things beyond all the challenges, you know, you haven't got to

think that you can't. When people say, you won't be I'd do that. We've all had it at a time in their life. Yeah, absolutely. So two different autism diagnosis actually connected two different people because of it. Yeah. The beauty is it did not separate you. Tell us what that connection means to you today now that you have a better understanding of autism. Yeah. Well, I have a lot more understanding and empathy and compassion. And one of the big things was he always looks so vague. He's like, well, I recognize I do.

I recognize I do. Just now, to me, it's like, well, I can relate to the reasons why he is how he is. You know, and it wasn't to be rude. He wasn't being rude. He wasn't trying to be distant. He wasn't trying not to care about situations. It's just that he didn't understand his emotions in the world. and he didn't really know how to respond to a lot of situations and still doesn't,

but he's also just like a Swedish guy. So he's absolutely amazing, you know. And he's always going to be the person that sits in the corner of the room, but that's fine, you know, because that's how he is, but that's that. And the fact is that it's still a great person. And the fact that he's actually, you know, he's had three children. He's been married to my mom for 61 years, you know, despite his health issues. And it's been a success, you know, been a success.

So he's done amazing. And that as well, you know, it's an inspiration to think that you can, you can do things you know i was told you know don't work in music you'll be a loser you know oh it'd be a hobby what will your real job be you know i had a business advisor and he said well i i think working the music industry is going to be hit or miss so that i wouldn't actually do it i wouldn't bother and i come out of the meeting you know and i'll deflate it and i thought oh geez is he right or not and i'm going to do it i'm going to look back you know and i'm glad i did because i i built a career and i built an income and built as you like saying earlier like what's going to be a legacy because of music

and if I had listened to the, you know, the naysayers and all the people that say you can't do this and don't do that, I've never would have done it, you know. I've heard all those naysayers myself. So I totally get it completely. Yes, yes. How old is your dad now? Well, dad's actually, God bless him. He's 81 now.

Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, he's 81, so he's doing well. I mean, he's amazing, really, you know, what he's been through. And, yes, it's fantastic. Is he still in England or is he here in the States? Yeah, he's in England still. So he was born in England, so he's there with mum and the rest of the side of the family, so he's there. But yeah, you know, he's always been my hero, because he's always been a great dad.

Even through his struggles, he finds that kindness, you know. And you do feel his love, even though he expresses it differently and he's concerned. And then again, he'll break out of what he's in and they go, oh, are you okay, that sort of thing? Or do you need something? Or are you right? You know, how are you? You know, but I say he's become a great person despite all these challenges. Nice. That's just so good. Now that you know this about yourself, how do you see yourself living

differently now, not in spite of autism, but because of it? I'm a lot more confident, feeling a little more comfortable. As I said earlier, I've just come to a place of acceptance and I'm realizing why I think the way I do. And I've always had a different way of thinking and I never knew why. And I thought, oh, and I thought it was strange now. I don't, I don't think it's strange now. I I think it's actually got its, it's got its own uniqueness. I say, especially with the music, that's really, you know, to help others with the music industry, which I'll keep doing, keep going for that and keep helping people and successfully getting them out there. But I will keep pushing the music out there and keep helping people, getting their music out, you know,

and changing the world in my own individual way. Yeah, that's just so good. Well, this has been great. Great conversation, great information. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us today. Yeah, thank you, Tony. I really, really enjoyed it and really grateful to you for having me on the show. Yeah, absolutely. It's been amazing. It's been my pleasure. Thanks again.

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