Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? - Uzma's Voyage: Charting a Course Through Autism and Advocating for Neurodiversity

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

Send us a text When your world turns upside down after your child's autism diagnosis, where do you turn? Uzma's compelling journey as a certified autism specialist and parent unfolds in our latest pod...cast episode, where she candidly shares the heartaches and triumphs of raising a child on the spectrum. Her story is a beacon for parents wading through the complexities of early signs, diagnosis, and the maze of professional support—or the lack thereof. Uzma's insistence on clear, jargon-free communication provides comfort and direction, offering a lifeline to those feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Embracing neurodiversity isn't just a concept; it's a transformative movement, and Uzma is at the forefront, coaching families and advising corporations on the value each unique mind brings to the table. One success story that stands out is of a 27-year-old who learned the dance of two-way communication, a testament to the potential within everyone waiting to be unlocked. The conversation also illuminates the gender disparities in autism diagnosis, challenging us to redefine our perceptions and support mechanisms. For those seeking guidance or yearning to contribute to the mission of understanding autism, Uzma opens the channels of connection through Instagram (@CoachingwithUzma) and LinkedIn. This episode is not just about sharing knowledge; it's an invitation to join a community where isolation dissipates and acceptance grows. To our listeners and anyone grappling with similar experiences, reach out, share your story, and help us cultivate a world that celebrates neurodiversity in all its forms. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI) The content on Why Not Me: Embracing Autism amd Mental Health Worldwide, including discussions on mental health, autism, and related topics, is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not reflect those of the podcast, its hosts, or affiliates.Why Not Me is not a medical or mental health professional and does not endorse or verify the accuracy, efficacy, safety of any treatments, programs, or advice discussed.Listeners should consult qualified healthcare professionals, such as licensed therapists, psychologists, or physicians, before making decisions about mental health or autism- related care.Reliance on this podcast's contents is at the listener's own risk. Why Not Me is not liable for any outcomes, financial or otherwise, resulting from actions taken based on the information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Starting point is 00:00:05 Welcome to Why Not Me The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make your laugh, some will make you cry. Real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world. hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me the World.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Today's guest is a certified autism specialist. She has extensive experience in coaching, mentoring, and advocating for individuals on the autism spectrum. She has a background in law, professional coaching certifications, and she has a holistic approach to autism coaching. She has a business called Coaching with Usma, and I am just so honored to have Usma with us today. So thanks for coming on the podcast. Thank you so much for having me, Tony. Oh, the pleasure is all mine. Before we started this, we were talking about how confusing it is for parents who just find out that their son or daughter is autistic.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Can you expand on that a little bit on how it affected you with your son? My son's, he just turned 14. And in the beginning, like you said, I was a parent who was confused, looking for me. a solution looking for a quick fix, but I didn't know where to go and who to go to. And then when I did go and turn to professionals, back then I was in the UAE. We just recently moved to the UK. I've been away for 14 years from the UK and just returned. And when we got back, sorry, when I was there and I was looking for this answer,
Starting point is 00:02:04 I couldn't find a professional who could actually nail it down and say, this is what it is, because there was so many challenges on a daily basis with my, he's my eldest, so I couldn't compare him to his siblings because he didn't have any siblings at the time. And then, yeah, and I just, I really was wondering what to do and I would often, you know,
Starting point is 00:02:23 I would often try to seek help through those days as Facebook. I think WhatsApp wasn't even around then. Yeah. Or WhatsApp was just probably just started, but there's no community like that we have now. And I was lost, and if I did go to somebody and they would mention all these fancy terms,
Starting point is 00:02:37 and I wouldn't get it. I just wanted someone to talk to me in my, you know, my language. Just simple language and not use all this medical terminology that I didn't understand. Because it would confuse me even further. So now, you know, having like a newly diagnosed, you know, child and a parent come to me or, because now I do, obviously, I coach and a mentor and train parents and education settings and corporates. But I try to keep my language really simple because parents overwhelmed anyway.
Starting point is 00:03:07 They don't need everything being put onto them. Yeah. Sure. That makes sense. So how old was your son and what led you to believe that he needed some help in some sort of way? So, okay, so we had just moved from Doha to Abu Dhabi and we were just settling into a new apartment and he was doing some like certain things that were like for me felt strange and not kind of normal. So there's a lot of repetition in.
Starting point is 00:03:33 So we had moved it. It was an empty apartment and he was sitting by the bedroom window. It wasn't really a window. It was a patio. And he was just moving the blood. blinds back, not the blinds, but you don't want the mesh that you have for the mosquitoes not to come in. So he was just pulling and pushing, swaying that around. Like, he did it well over a hundred times.
Starting point is 00:03:50 He just sat there doing the same thing. And every time you do something, it would be a repetition of it. So he would just constantly do the same thing over and over again. And then when I started taking him out to play groups, he would not transition very well. Right. He wouldn't point. He wouldn't give me eye contact. The typical traits that they say are the signs of autism. he had. So I picked up very early, he was about 11 months when I thought something is not quite right.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Right. And that's when I started looking for professional help. Fast forward five years, he's almost six. I still hadn't found an answer. And in that process of six years, I put him into nurseries, you know, various nurseries with different curriculums. We tried school and nothing worked. It was just a constant challenge between the teachers coming to me saying he's not behaving very well, he's doing this and he's doing that. And then I just decided, look, you know, I need to figure out what's going on. I'm not getting the answers that I need. In between those six years, I was doing a lot of my own research to figure out what was going on. I mean, we did have a choice of coming back to the UK, but I didn't come back. Was there a reason for not coming back to the UK?
Starting point is 00:04:58 I didn't come back to the UK because I didn't want to separate the family. So I decided to stay. And then when I did stay there, I, you know, had to figure out myself what to do with him. Sure. And then I just started reading books, speaking to people in the community to find out what's going on, and then later found out that there's something called autism. And then obviously, going and then finding a right professional, I approached the right professional, and then, yeah, he was assessed and then diagnosed. So once he was diagnosed, what were some of the things that you found that really worked well?
Starting point is 00:05:31 And then what were some of the things that you hoped that worked well but didn't work quite as well as you thought they might? Good question. I mean, I, so when he was diagnosed, it was firstly a sense of relief for me. But, you know, I have an answer now because during the process of having a diagnosis or finding out what was going on, I was very confused as a parent, you know, when it came to his behavior or social, not just his behavior in the sense of his social behavior, but also his academic skills, his communication skills. Right. I was always very confused on what to do. And then certain things that he would do. it but did come to his behavior that were not socially appropriate. I would just find a lot of parents commenting on me being a bad mom and not telling him off. Or not disciplining him enough.
Starting point is 00:06:20 And questioning my discipline actually and asking me how I discipline my child and if I do. And then when I did, you know, go into, you know, figuring out what to do with my son, I did put him into school thinking that would be the solution where I'd get the right support. but unfortunately no it wasn't you know I would I would often just get complaints from teachers saying he's he's not listening he's misbehaving he's not doing his work you know he's he's agitated all the time but it was actually he had needs right there were certain challenges that he was experiencing that needed to be addressed but they weren't being addressed one of them as an example I'd like to share is where he you know he he can't sit for too long so a typical lesson in a classroom is 40 minutes right um he was
Starting point is 00:07:07 only six. He wasn't able to sit that long. And I requested in his own meetings, one of the meetings I had for his IEP, I requested a break. I just said, you know, in between his one lesson, could he take a break every 20 minutes? So that's one break in a lesson. And the school refused. They said, no, we can't do that. We can't allow a break because if we allow him to have a break, that will disturb the children in the class. And we can't do that. But he needed that. He needed to, he needed to process what he's learning. And if he wasn't going to take a break, he would just end of trying to seek attention other ways, which obviously were ways which were not appropriate for the class. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:42 So yeah, he wasn't allowed to break. And that was one of my main reasons for pulling him out of school and then homeschooling him. Okay. That was actually my next question. So you wound up homeschooling him rather than putting him into any type of classroom situation? I mean, I did try multiple schools. It's not like I didn't try. So I did try multiple schools and the schools just didn't work.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I mean, another example I can share. Okay. You know, a lot of autistic individuals are not linear learners. Right. So they're kind of everywhere when it comes to subjects. And the example I can share with my own son, I mean, he can talk about tech, like he's, you know, giving a TED talk. Right. Literally, he can talk about tech like he, like a graduate from university.
Starting point is 00:08:26 And he's only 14, but he's been doing that for years. But when it comes to basic maths, he stumbles. Right. So he's not, he's on a map of learning, he's all over the place. And in his maths class at school, you know, I did explain to them. Look, he's good at his language, you know, English language, English literature, his sciences, you know, other subjects he was enjoying. But Matt's, he was really struggling.
Starting point is 00:08:48 I asked them to differentiate his learning. But they weren't able to. Said, no, we want to keep the curriculum the same for every child. And we want to keep, you know, our style of teaching is the same. And I said, well, he's getting overwhelmed in the classroom environment. Is it okay, kind of give him a break and take him to a room where he could work alone one-to-one with a teacher rather being in a cluster environment because now he's comparing himself
Starting point is 00:09:09 to other children and that's knocking his confidence down. Right. But they didn't allow that. And that was again another reason for me to pull him out. And then when I kept him home, I think he was just so overwhelmed
Starting point is 00:09:24 with everything that he had experienced. When I first introduced the concept of homeschooling to him, I was really excited that he's going to get this opportunity to learn around me in a safe environment where there's no judgment, no comparison. I created this beautiful homeschooling room in the house and he just walked in the first and he just started crying.
Starting point is 00:09:45 He said, I don't want to learn. Now, where are you originally from? UK. After that, you moved to another country, correct? Yeah, we moved to Abu Dhabi. Okay, so after you moved, did you notice any differences from one country to another in how they handled or respected autistic people
Starting point is 00:10:04 within their communities? I couldn't honestly compare because when I went to the UAE, he was 11 months old. Okay. So I had left from Doha, so I had been in the Gulf region for some time. So I couldn't compare the autism world
Starting point is 00:10:17 here in the UK to versus the UAE because I hadn't lived here and experienced it. I would just hear things about, you know, a certain friends experience or a family member's experience, but I hadn't had that experience myself
Starting point is 00:10:30 first hand. Okay, because that's one thing when I talk with people from different countries, they will give me different experiences of how they were either treated or how their kids were treated or just the overall atmosphere in how some of these countries either acknowledged autism or didn't give it as much attention that it deserved. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. No, you're right, but yeah, I wasn't in a position to compare, but I can say that being in the
Starting point is 00:10:57 U.E, it was a new thing for me anyway. And the UE is a very young country. So they were just working on it. They had just started looking into autism and really trying to figure out ways and that when. So we were kind of, we were new and they knew.
Starting point is 00:11:13 The system there was new. So it was very, I guess, challenging the journey. But then we just, as parents, I guess you just roll up your sleeves and navigate yourself. Right. That's exactly what I did.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Right. Because I wasn't, you know, able to seek the answers I was looking for there and I didn't want to move back home to the UK at the time. I decided, okay, I have to do the work. So I decided not to go back to work, you know, kind of have that career break that went on for 10 years. And then I just, yeah, I decided to study everything about autism and figure out how I can support my son.
Starting point is 00:11:47 When it comes to his, you know, emotional development, academic, social development, I pretty much took that responsibility. And number one, it was a homeschooling. And then within the homeschooling remit, I've done a lot of different areas. years. Now, since then, you've become a huge advocate for autism, correct? Correct, yeah. You mentioned earlier that you train and talk to different people. So what have you developed there that helps others? Well, yeah. Firstly, I mean, during COVID, I mean, it's a good question I'm asking here, Tony, because during COVID, I was at the point where I had given, you know, just over 10 years to my family, you know, homeschooling, being a stay-at-home mom, just giving
Starting point is 00:12:28 everything I had to them. And during COVID, it made me realize that I wanted to do something for myself. And a lot of people saying to me, well, my background is legal. I'm a human rights lawyer. And a lot of people were saying to me, well, going back to law would just mean long hours. And it did, because I had some interviews and a lot of job interviews entailed long hours of work, which I wasn't ready to do. I wasn't ready to be at home and then leave the children for a, you know, a full day. So a lot of my friends would suggest, suggest, why don't you, you know, become a teacher? Because with teaching, you get the same vacation as your children. You know, you work around them. You've got the typical hours of school where you can drop them and pick them.
Starting point is 00:13:03 And then you've got free time with your family. Right. Well, yeah, I mean, I homeschool my children, but I didn't want to become a teacher and educate lots of other children. Sure, sure. So that was a big no-no for me. And then I started looking at coaching and mentoring. That was something pretty new to me then. And I went out and started researching and spoke to a couple of coaches.
Starting point is 00:13:27 And they mentioned, yeah, you could definitely get into coaching and your could be, you know, autism, neurodiversity, because that's where your background is and where your passion really is. That seemed like good, solid advice. So I decided to, to start studying. And then I, I started my ICF coaching, I got my coaching credentials and qualifications through the ICF, which is International Coaching Federation. And then I started doing some courses around autism and neurodiversity. And then I set up my own business four years ago now. That's great. And then, yeah, I started with coaching and mentoring and giving a lot of family support when it comes to homeschooling. And then as the business kind of grew and developed more organically,
Starting point is 00:14:10 what we do now is prepare content, neurodiversity courses for educators or corporate organizations. I do courses of parents too. And all my courses that I'm preparing now through the company, through my business, are all CPD approved. So anyone who does take the course will get the professional development hours. And through that, I'm doing advocacy work and speaking at conferences and working with neurodivergent individuals themselves on life skills, executive functioning skills, really trying to make a difference. Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:14:46 So do you work with the corporate world as well? Because I know the corporate world sometimes thinks about should they hire or should they work with people that are autistic. Have you worked with a corporate world to where you can show them that just because someone's labeled autistic doesn't mean that they can't go in there and function and do work and help their corporation? Yeah, I really appreciate your question, Tony. Yeah, absolutely. I have worked and delivered training to the corporate. So it's interesting because there is, and I think the barrier, I guess, the barrier starts not just in the corporate setting.
Starting point is 00:15:19 It starts very early. Even before a child goes to school, it can start in a home environment. So imagine you have these barriers from your home to then school and then when you enter the workplace. So yes, good question that you've asked there because I have done some training with corporate organizations where we've really talked about inclusivity and how to make the workplace inclusive for every single person. You know, we're bringing in so much talent. Neurodiverse individuals bring in so much talent. And it's often overlooked because of certain things that way, you know, the body language you're going into the process or the lack of eye contact. an interview process, just then the door shut for them.
Starting point is 00:15:56 But if we look beyond that, we're actually hiring somebody who's got so much talent. We're bringing in so many different skills to organization, for example. That's really what matters. And to do that, it's really tweaking and placing accommodations and modifications for that individual to work in a safe place and feel comfortable. Not just for them, but also for the employers or the other departments or the colleagues to understand how this individual works and how their brains function differently, but how to appreciate them and not be so judgmental and carry these biases that we often do.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Okay, so when I get interviewed, I always get asked, is there one episode that stands out from others? And because I've got so many, it's hard to really differentiate because every episode and every person has their unique story. Do you have one or two over the last few years that just really stand out? you might have looked at as though this is really going to be a challenge. But then after things got going, it turned into a huge success. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Lots of different stories. But one, as you were asking the question that really came to my mind, was I had a neurodivergent individual. His mom had approached me for some coaching and mentoring for his son. And now he was a young gentleman, 27. And when she talked a little bit about his background and what support she needed, I was inclined to say no because he was 27. and I felt like, oh, he's 27, you know, the requirements that you have, or the challenges that you're facing,
Starting point is 00:17:27 I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to support you, but let me try. So anyway, you know, a young gentleman who had been in a special need center all his life from the get-go, right? From the get-go, he'd been in a special need center. And then he had a one-on-one carer, tutor around him, and a support of people around him in the home environment too. And he had come to me at the point where he's verbal, but he had, he didn't have the, a social pragmatic language. So there was nothing really in a conversation there. And she really wanted me to work with him and introduce the concept of social communication.
Starting point is 00:18:02 And when we first started and again mentioning his age 27, I wasn't sure how to plan this and how to really get the outcome that I was looking for that his mom was looking for. So when, yeah, when we started working, there was lots of different approaches I took with him to the point where at the end he was able to recognize. that this world is not only about him. And when he does meet people, there's a two-way conversation that takes place. And he was now in a place where he could say hi, you know, how are you? Have that receptive conversation and really talk.
Starting point is 00:18:36 I mean, I'm not saying he had a lengthy conversation, but he was able to recognize that when he meets somebody, that a certain way of behaving, certain way of talking. And he was able to do that by the end. And that was something I'm really proud of doing, actually. Right. Yeah, I really value the parents input firstly and then obviously just him working with me and really understanding why he had to do this. So I'm, yeah, that was my, yeah, one of my proud moments, I guess. Yeah. Now, the diagnosis seems to be more boys than girls because of society,
Starting point is 00:19:10 I think. Do you find yourself working with more of one gender than the other? And then when it comes to females, they're the ones that are least diagnosed because they're, They want to fit in. They want to be social. They want to live that neurotypical life. When they hit their teens and get into puberty and get into hormonal changes and everything, that's when things really change for them. How do you address that?
Starting point is 00:19:32 Because as much as boys need help, females that are masking need even more help so that they can kind of blend in and get to know themselves. How do you handle that? Yeah. I'm notting as you say this. Yeah, absolutely, you're correct. It's so important because the, the, females are absolutely masking. And that's very challenging on a daily basis. But before I answer that question, yeah, I do work predominantly with families that have boys that they're worried about.
Starting point is 00:20:04 The younger boys. And then if I'm working with adults, it's mainly absolutely the male. Right. And I'm going to say unfortunately, because I guess, I'm not sure if I could say lack of awareness. I don't know if that's the right answer. A lot of the females are masking. Carrying this heavy burden day to day in and day out where they just get on with it. Right. And they think that they can do this and be okay and not seek help. Exactly. But actually by the end it gets so tiring and it's so heavy on their part.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yes. That it could lead to other things like anxiety and depression, which, you know, we want to avoid. Yes. So to seek that help is important. And just like, you know, how I talked about working with, you know, young gentlemen or boys, it's giving them accommodations. It's making things easy for their. them to manage the day-to-day. And that's exactly what we would do with the ladies, the young ladies,
Starting point is 00:20:55 or the females, but they just, yeah, they don't often come forward and say, look, we need help. Right. I've spoken with, I don't know, three or four different females that have got diagnosed later in life. And the challenges they went through that they told me about was pretty astounding. A couple of them got diagnosed in their 30s and one as late as 45. And she said that once she got diagnosed and realized what was going on and she acclimated herself to the new environment that she was going to have to do, she said her 50s was just tremendous. Now she's just getting ready to turn 60. So it seems to be a real challenge for females to get out there and cross that line of saying, you know, I need some help. You know, that's something I think we need to definitely be more aware of
Starting point is 00:21:41 and make more people aware of so that hopefully the parents will notice something different that could lead them to say, you know, maybe I need to be. to get my daughter some help. Yeah, yeah, absolutely agree. Absolutely. And I think it's the stigma around it as well that sometimes becomes quite challenging. And I think females in generally are so smart in masking things that parents just don't see it. They overlook a lot of different things. Right. Whereas boys, I think they can just, in the young, in the early years, it's a behavior. And they often are looking at the behavior and seeking a lot of attention that they then see there's something in between there and that there's something that they need to get help with.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Right. Right. Exactly. What would you tell people that either are just newly diagnosed or thinking about getting their kids diagnosed? What's something that you would tell them right up front to kind of take that pressure off of them that, yeah, okay, you may think that something's wrong, but this is something that people have to deal with on a daily basis. How do you address that so that you can kind of put them at ease, even though they're going through some turmoil? Yeah, that's a good question. I mean, I think when it comes to diagnosis, the personal choice of having your child diagnosed. There's different reasons why parents have their child diagnosed or some don't have their child diagnosed.
Starting point is 00:22:59 On a personal level, and you've asked me, I would say, you know, having a child diagnosed would be, for me and my personal opinion, would be the best thing because you know where to go after that. You know what to do. You know how to navigate that journey you're on. Right. When I hadn't had my son diagnosed,
Starting point is 00:23:15 I was all over the place. You know, sometimes I would say, oh, I think it's his autism behavior or I think to see him playing up. But then the minute I had him diagnosed, I knew exactly what it was and what I had to do. So I kind of created that roadmap of working with him and setting certain goals, hitting those goals, moving with other goals. Right. And just giving him that support that he needed. Without a diagnosis, I think we would all be very lost because there would be answers as he's getting older. He would have been seeking answers for himself and not knowing where he is in society and where he stands.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Sure. And when it comes to parents, Tony, I would say my honest advice would be try not to live this journey alone. I did for many, many years. It was just myself and my husband trying to figure out what to do. And we thought that we were the only parents on this entire planet going through this and there's nobody else who's experiencing it. And it was very, very isolating and sometimes very ugly because it would mean we were down, we had anxiety and I mean really hitting the road of depression because we just felt so isolated. So I would say to parents who, you know, who would like to have their child diagnosed or who are thinking about it, just seek out, you know, seek help, look around for a community, talk to other people. Yes, professionals know what they're doing, but professionals are not living the life that you're living and talk to other families. They have that lived experience and it makes a huge difference when you're sharing that burden and just experience, you know, what you're experienced on a daily basis. It really helps connecting with other people.
Starting point is 00:24:43 And I think that's a really, that's a first and foremost thing to do. Okay. Now, you brought it up earlier, which I think we need to address this. The average person that lives in the world that doesn't have any problems, they see kids having meltdowns, they don't understand the difference between a meltdown and just a kid having a tantrum. How do you explain the difference to people that don't know or newly diagnosed parents that found their kids, that their kids might have meltdowns, but there's a difference between a
Starting point is 00:25:12 meltdown and a tantrum. Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, very good point. I think we need to remember when a child is having a meltdown or there's any form of behavior that's not appropriate, it's a form of communication. They actually trying to communicate, you know, communicate with us through their behavior. We need to look in between the lines. We need to see what it actually is going on. Any kind of meltdown that's taking place, it's, there's something there. There's a reason what it's happening. So the first thing as parents, we need to address it. And we need to understand, firstly why it's happening and what are the reasons behind it. So looking at the triggers is important, seeing how it started.
Starting point is 00:25:49 So going back to any kind of situation that's maybe changed or that's different, addressing that and understanding what's going on and then working on how to support the child is really important. I think ignoring a meltdown is not healthy in any way. Once you understand what's going on and you understand why they're having this meltdown, it's then trying to figure out how to provide that right support for them. Right. Is there anything that we haven't touched upon that you think is important that you'd kind of like to put out there? I mean, really just a message.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Don't see your child as anyone less than the neurotypical child. If we can, if we as parents or even as individuals in society, understand that a child who's neurodivergent, their brain is wired differently. That's it. If we can just understand that, then we will be placing our children. in a much safer and accessible world because the minute we kind of create these barriers for our child, we're not giving them the opportunities that they deserve.
Starting point is 00:26:48 If you can just understand that they're different, but not less, the world would be a much safer place for them to grow in and to thrive because there's so much that they can bring. I mean, for my first-hand experience with my own child, there's so much he can bring and bring into the society. If I just think about that one child and the wonderful things that he's doing, there's many children like him. So if we just change our mindset,
Starting point is 00:27:12 we can make a huge difference and really provide the opportunity for them. Yeah, I think that's great because it just comes down to understanding. Yes. My slogan is autism, awareness, acceptance, and understanding. The word understanding,
Starting point is 00:27:25 and I think that's probably the most important word that we can find so that people can understand the differences between kids that aren't autistic and kids that are so that they can realize that just because they're different doesn't mean that they can't succeed in life. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And I always say, and I love the fact that you've put understanding, because we can have so much of an awareness,
Starting point is 00:27:50 right? The awareness can go on for years and years and years and years and years, but then we can have the acceptance, but how do we accept? We can't accept until we understand. Exactly. We can't accept someone who we see different and then, you know, say, okay, we accept you, but without any understanding. So we need to understand. And my thing, thing, my thing, Tony, would be you've got the understanding. Mine would be the educating. Yeah. Because we could be shouting and we could be screaming and saying, please, accept our children,
Starting point is 00:28:18 understand they're different. But unless we don't educate them, you know, we're not going to get anywhere, which is why my business came along because when I used to go into schools and I was so emotionally attached to my son, I wasn't advocating actually for him. I was shouting and getting upset. Yeah. And the teachers didn't want to know me. They didn't want to listen to me because I was coming across.
Starting point is 00:28:38 you know, this mad mother who's a helicopter mom and doesn't know what she's doing with her son. But the minute I realize, actually, no, I need to advocate my son. That's important. They're going to listen to me and I do that. And they did. That's great. You know, that's when things changed. So I realized, okay, rather than just awareness and acceptance, we need to do the education part as well. Right. Hence my training. So now are my trainings. And, you know, I was doing the trainings. Then I realized, okay, how can I validate my trainings? And that's when I thought, okay, they couldn't be CPD approved because they have that validation, that stamp, the certification. and that's what I do.
Starting point is 00:29:08 I just want to make a difference through education. That's really awesome. I understand that you're writing a book. Can you expand on that a little bit? I've actually written a book. It's with the illustrators now, but it's about, so my son,
Starting point is 00:29:22 he was, the reason why I didn't mention this in the podcast. The reason I noticed everything was because he was fixated with vacuum cleaners. Yeah. And he would play with vacuum cleaners all the time. He wouldn't just play the typical way, like with a toy vacuum cleaner,
Starting point is 00:29:34 but he would actually open it up and start looking at the functional of the vacuum cleaner and then he would put the parts back together again so he'd break it and put it back together again without worrying like if there's a toy that's broken you know kids often cry when the toy is broken right anything that would break you would say talha fix it they'll have fix it so he would literally go and fix it so yeah this very engineering kind of mind and yeah so I you know that's when I noticed because he was so fixated with certain things and vacuum cleaner being one of them yeah the book is about
Starting point is 00:30:01 you know his passion about vacuum cleaners and love about vacuum cleaners and it's superpower So the book is for school children and it's to raise awareness in an educational setting about the love that he has vacuum cleaners and how he saves a day because he's so knowledgeable about it. That's just so awesome. If someone wants to get a hold of you and you might need help or whatever,
Starting point is 00:30:22 what's the best way for contact? So yeah, so the social media would be Instagram coaching with Usma or LinkedIn. Again, coaching with Usma. And just yeah, personally message me on both platforms. would be fine and I can also share my email address. Okay. All right. That's great. I really do appreciate you taking the time to come on to my podcast. Thank you so much for having me, Tony. It's been my pleasure. Thanks for taking the time
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