Too Scary; Didn't Watch - FELIDAE
Episode Date: January 21, 2026Movie Intro @ 14:16Trivia @ 15:57Recap starts @ 17:17Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and addi...tional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy.
And you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Watch.
Hi, everyone.
Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves.
I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Emily and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies.
And so I watch them so that you don't have to.
And we got a weird one this week, folks.
I'm weird.
I'm excited about it.
Okay.
And I believe the tone.
When you say it like that, I know you mean it.
I love weird.
It's very strange.
But before we get into it, we are going to check in with each other.
So if you want to get straight to that,
weird recap. There's time, Sam's in the show notes. But first, Emily and Henley, did anything
scary happen to you guys this week? I really just want to share an explore, a recent fear I've
been having. I have recently become fearful that my car is going to explode when I'm in it or near
it. Oh my God. Is this because you watch so many action movies? Maybe, but it's,
Actually, because last time I got my oil change, they were like, something's leaking up here.
You need to take your car to a mechanic.
But they didn't say it in a way that was like, ma'am, get out of the car.
Do you know, they weren't like, but I, of course haven't taken my car to the mechanic because, like, well, I don't have time for that.
Sure.
But I have, I don't know.
I just, this is why I want to talk about it because I'm like, it's not reasonable.
I don't think, I hope.
but I will be like driving home from work and I'm like
my car about to explode.
Like I the other day I was picking up sandwiches that I had ordered for me and Joel
for lunch and I was early and so it was really lovely outside.
I had my book so I was like I'm just going to like lean against my car and read
while I wait for the sandwiches.
And then I thought I truly was like I have to like I started panicking that I need to
get away from the car because it was going to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like it's going to explode.
Like it has a bomb in it.
Yeah, like the engine's just going to like spontaneously combust and I'm going to explode.
and it's not going to explode while it's off.
I think that that's,
you can count on that.
Okay, well, I'm actually like,
but if it's on, you know, maybe.
Well, actually, a car did,
a car for some reason did explode, not explode.
I don't know exactly,
but it started like a little fire in a parking garage
in my friend's building.
Okay, so this is off, Sammy.
This is, okay, okay, okay.
So this is feeding the fear.
Yeah, I don't think that this really like happens.
And I think,
think the answer is I just need to take my car to the mechanic.
Like I just take my car to the mechanic.
Did they tell you anything else about where it was leaking?
Any more details?
I think they said the engine, which that's not good, right?
Engines leaking.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what's leaking.
I don't know from where they were just like, next time you get your oil change.
You need to do it at the mechanic because something is leaking and we can't fix it.
I think you 100% just have to take it to the mechanic.
can't. Yeah. I think I just, yeah. But barring that, I do want to, like, say that this is a perfect
example of how our schools are failing us and that obviously, I don't know how the vehicle works that I
drive around all the time. A required course. I think we should have two required courses.
And one of them is, like, cars. Taxes. Oh, okay. Cars and taxes. Okay. Sorry, three required
courses. Okay. Cars, taxes and? And teeth.
I want someone
I want someone to teach me
how to like know
whether my dentist is scamming me or do.
Okay, so not about dental health.
So fraud prevention, not dental health.
But that's obviously, that's like why.
Teeth forgery.
Teeth.
Teeth scams.
Teeth scams.
Because you have to, you have to put your faith.
You have to put your faith in these experts
who are just telling.
And again, I believe experts.
Full bar. I want to say that clear. I believe experts. I believe people who just not.
You'd really know you could believe them if you'd take in the class. I believe people who have gone to
extra school, extra school who have learned things. I have not learned. I believe them. Bonus schools.
Bonus schools. I applaud you. However, I do want to say that as like a civilian walking around,
it would really benefit me to know some basic information about how my car works, how my teeth work,
and how my taxes work.
I would love to just know some basic info about those things
so that I can just have all the facts
when I'm discussing some more advanced,
more specific information with the experts.
That's all I'm saying.
I think that that would benefit me way more than algebra too.
Or even, I mean, geometry, I guess,
has its uses somehow.
I don't like geometry.
I like it more now.
But at the time I was like, the fuck is this shit.
Yeah.
Anyway, I just, I think really what it is is I need, A, just need to take my cardinic, B, I, something's happening in my brain these days is really what it is that I'm like.
It's probably the news.
I think it, yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's just anywhere where there's any cause to worry, it can be like a little outlet for all of the worry.
It can find a new, yeah, a new.
And I'm also just like, I think it comes down to like a fear of dying alone.
without being able to tell your loved ones that, like, you're about to explode, you know?
Like, that is actually my, like, my biggest fear is like, I'm on my way home to Joel, but I never make it because my car explodes, you know?
Right.
So I've just, it's become, like, real to me in a way that I know is unhealthy, the fear of the car exploding.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Take it to the mechanic.
I will.
I will.
Yeah.
I think it that will help.
I think that will help.
Is anything scary having you guys?
Oh, actually, speaking of cars, a scary.
everything did happen to me yesterday. There was a freak snowstorm. However, I do want to point out
that I feel like our weather service is not as accurate as it used to be, probably because
funding has been taking away. I don't know. I feel like people aren't talking about this. I just
want to say that more often than not, the weather that I'm seeing on my phone is not the weather
that I'm seeing out my window. And yesterday, it started snowing. Nothing said it was going to snow online.
and I was planning on going to Costco with Silas
I was so excited to go to Costco
We've been talking about for days and days and days
I also love Costco as a
I did too
As a child
All the snacks
All the things you could like climb around and on
And they're always new toys
This time when we went there's a bunch of books
Which was fun to look at
Big tables full of clothes
All folded on top of each other
Just like big long tables of folded shirts
Yes
Anyways
So we, it started snowing.
It was snowing for like, I don't know, half an hour or something.
And then I wasn't even thinking about it.
We left to go to Costco.
But like, I guess because no one knew it was going to snow, they hadn't salted the streets yet or done any preventative or nothing.
That's dangerous.
And so when I pulled out of like where we pull onto the main road, our car truly just went like all over the place.
Oh my God.
over the fucking place.
Like it was like, it was like it swung one way.
Whoa.
Then it swung another way.
Then it swung another way.
And I was so, I was obviously terrified.
Silas was like, whoa.
That was cool.
This is fun.
Right.
Because you're not supposed to slam the brakes.
You like have to just go with it.
Right?
You kind of like try to.
I didn't know what, I didn't know like what it was.
It's crazy how your brain.
is in those moments because I was like, well, this is happening. I guess this is just what's happening now.
And it was fine. We were able to like get straightened out. Nothing happened that was like, you know,
destructive except to my own brain. Because then I noticed along the road there were cars like pulled
off to the side. Everyone had their blinkers on. Everyone was going like 10 miles per hour.
Because where we live, there are a lot of hills. Oh my.
God. And when there's like no salt on the roads at all, it's very slippery.
I see. I see. Yeah. And so I called Tim and I was like, am I being really stupid? Should I like try to get home right now? And he was like, I think you should just go to Costco. I think it's going to be fine. They're going to salt the roads. It'll be fine.
The opposite of what I thought he was going to say. I was immediately mad. I was merely furious. I was like, how dare you? I'm in immediate danger. He was right, though. Like, it was fine. And also I was all, all.
like too scared to turn around.
Like I had no choice but to go straight.
Either way you got to keep driving.
Yeah.
So I just went like the last driving.
I went straight like eight miles per hour.
Just like do.
Yeah.
And we were,
it was no big deal.
But like having your car do that,
having your car like be out of control.
It's so scary.
Yeah.
Oh, God, it's scary.
It's never happened to me on ice,
but it's happened to me in like insane rains like growing up in Florida.
Is it still called hydroplaining when it's ice?
I mean, it's still water?
I think it is.
I don't know.
I just assume it.
I don't know. But it's a very scary feeling just being like, well, I, cars not listening to me anymore.
Like, I do. Is there a parachute?
Like, what are you? Scary, scary. Oh, don't know. Also made me think that I should buy a new car. What did we get at Costco? Also, that was the other thing is that then I forgot everything we needed from Costco. Your brain was wiped. We were supposed to buy ingredients to make chili. I came home with. I came home with. I came home with. I was. I was. I was supposed to buy ingredients to make chili. I came home with. I came home.
with like a 15 pound bag of dried mango.
Okay.
Snacks out the wazoo.
Literally nothing for chili.
I bought kidney.
I bought,
no, I bought like 20 cans of kidney beans.
Okay.
That's it.
Who even wants to eat kidney beans ever?
They are my least favorite bean in the chili.
I got it.
Chilly sounds really good though right now.
Did you end up making chili or no?
We made chili, but we made it the night.
We made it the night.
next day after I bought some more ingredients.
Sammy, anything scary happening to you?
Well, I also have a car PSA.
This isn't what I was going to talk about, but I'll just throw it in here real quick,
because my other thing's also real quick.
So I'm going to go, I'm going to say two things.
Oh, my God.
But my car PSA is that Duncan noticed because I had no idea that the tread on my tires
was like so crazy low that it was like metal was exposed.
And I was like, oh, I would just.
trick. Yeah. I just didn't know about this at all. And I was like, oh, I would just probably drive till
my tires exploded, which has happened to me before. And so, PSA just check your tire tread every
once in a while. Wow. I got all my tires replaced. We're all good now. But yeah, that's just something
just keeping me 35 years. They would teach you this in the car class. They would teach you this in the car class.
Yep. It should be mandatory. Okay. Class mandatory. And then my other thing. They could do it all in one.
car teeth and taxes.
Great.
Yeah, for a semester,
I think we could cover some pretty,
pretty,
you could get,
you could get around a lot of that information.
You get the most important stuff, yeah.
Yeah.
My other thing,
just because it really made me laugh,
is I've been taking down
Christmas decorations today,
which is like really sad.
I'm really going to miss them.
Yeah.
I'm really going to miss them.
I really think it's another big part
of why January sucks.
Yeah.
I've gotten like,
because the lights are on timers and I've gotten so used to the joy of just like the lights turn on magically and all of a sudden everything is colorful and joyful.
Now things are back to just plain.
Regular dark drab.
But so I was walking around like outside my house because I was taking down the outdoor lights and they're plugged into an outlet on the side of my house.
And that's where we keep kind of like the, you know, the hoses back there, some other garden equipment.
and I was not really paying attention and I stepped on a rake cartoon style.
Oh my God.
Like side show Bob.
Yeah.
It's maxing the head.
It wasn't in my face.
It smacked me in the back.
I like stepped on it on the side, but it hit me in the back.
And it did hurt.
But it mostly just like really made me laugh.
It's like, oh my God.
I did it.
This really is a thing that can happen.
It's actually so funny.
It can happen.
It can happen to you.
It could happen to you.
It happened to me.
And I survived, but I will be a little more careful next time I'm walking around where I know we keep the rakes.
Multiple rakes.
And I think it is just one.
But we do have multiple, but one's out back and one's out front.
You've got to be vigilant everywhere.
Yeah.
So that was pretty silly.
But are you guys ready to get into this weird movie?
Maybe it's like not that weird.
But it's just it's.
I guess we'll be the judges.
You'll be the judges.
it's going to give Emily and I a taste of our own medicine because most movies have some sort
of child or pregnancy thing that really upsets Henley.
This is cats.
This is cats.
No.
Or I was going to say about grasshoppers.
Or rats.
It's about cats.
That sucks.
Yeah.
I'm not going to love the cat thing either.
I got to be honest.
Yeah, you are.
Just like we love it when it's good.
You got me.
This week we are talking about a movie called Felidae.
It came out in 1994, directed by Michael Schack, written by Martin Kluger and Akief Prinichie, based on the 1989 novel of the same name by Akief Bernici, starring Ulrich, Tukur, Mario Adolf Adolf and.
and Klaus Maria Brandauer.
This is an animated German film.
And I, okay, okay.
It has been requested.
We have like a long list of listener requests going in a Google Doc, peek behind the curtain.
And sometimes I just pick a random one.
So that's what happened today.
And it's Mac and Bunk's 10th birthday this.
week. Wow. Double digit. Double digits. So an honor with them. You would get, you decided to get
really sad about cats. Yeah. So I thought about, you know, why don't we talk about a movie
focused on cats being killed? It's not, it's not, I feel like it's not going to be as bad
as I'm, as you're picturing. But it is, there are a lot of cats die in this movie. But,
Okay.
But it's kind of funny in watching it.
It's like done like a noir with cats.
Interesting.
So there's like a cat detective on the case of why all these cats are like that.
So it's pretty, it's actually fun.
It's just really interesting.
Really strange.
Okay.
This movie has an 83% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 7 on IMDB.
Oh, wow.
The budget was $5 million US dollars.
So that made it.
makes it the most expensive German animation to date.
And not a lot of trivia about this,
but this is one for any of the physical media heads like our friend Marty,
is that this movie was like really hard to come by in the U.S. for a long time.
And in 2024,
they released a Blu-ray in America.
So go get that Blu-ray.
that's something that interests you.
Where did you watch it?
I rented it on Amazon.
So you can watch it on Amazon now.
But I think Amazon lists it as like a 2024 movie.
So I think it's like because of that US release that now you can stream it.
Find it.
Yeah.
Cool.
So that's all the trivia I have.
And we are going to watch the trailer at the end.
That'll be available on our Patreon if you want to check it out.
But I think let's just get right into this.
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Okay.
We begin with Boy George performing a theme song that's like singing the title of the song going,
Feliday, Felidae.
Actually, I have no idea what the tune of the song is.
but already like pretty delightful and strange.
We see a cat in a car driving up to a house.
We're getting voiceover from the cat.
Again, this is in kind of noir.
So the cat's in the driver's seat?
No, the cat's in passenger seat.
A human is driving.
Okay.
But we're hearing the cat's voiceover saying, well, if you really want to hear my story,
I just got to warn you that it's not a pleasant one.
And this is our protagonist, Francis.
Is Francis like in a cage or not in a cage?
No, Francis is free in the passenger seat.
And continues to be free roaming this whole movie in a way that made me pretty nervous because I saw a coyote last night right outside of my house.
Like literally like 15 feet away from where I was standing.
and it's seemingly pretty big one.
So I don't like...
I've seen some pretty big ones lately.
I think they're healthier,
which is, you know,
good for the coyotes.
Yeah, yeah.
They're coyotes outside of our house too.
In Connecticut?
Yes.
Yes.
Tim has seen one.
And then this morning when he went outside,
like first thing,
he saw like a bunch of foot,
like dog paw,
like footprints.
In the snow?
And he was like,
I guess this is a coyote
because there aren't any human footprints anywhere.
Um,
or the coyote's like sensing that something's bad
is about to happen to the humans.
They're getting ready to eat all of us.
I hope not.
But yeah, I started
To the victor go the spoils, you know?
Yeah, exactly. Good for you.
I've started to let Mac and Bunk have supervised outdoor time on the patio.
I'll like watch them out there.
But I don't, I'm never going to be letting them out alone.
And it's bad for local bird populations to do that too.
It's very bad.
So anyways, this is an animated movie.
it's not real so whatever but to answer your question francis is just he's doing his own thing kind
of the whole time and his owner seems kind of he's really chill about it uh so we hear through
francis's voice over that he his his owner well he calls him my companion gustav uh moves a lot
which is very upsetting to francis if you have cats you know that they really hate moving they're very
territorial. They like
they like to be familiar with their space. So I thought this was a cute little detail that he's
like, oh, we're moving again. And he hops out of the, pull up to the new house, Gustav opens
the door for Francis, and he hops out and just goes up to the front door and then smells a
terrible stench. And he says smells like almost like medical equipment like formaldehy.
or something like he doesn't like it he's freaked out gustav notices and's kind of making fun of
him a little bit like am i going to have to carry you in here um so eventually he walks in he's
and we hear in the voicemover i should never have set a paw in that house but he goes in he's
exploring he's sniffing around the place is very run-down uh spiderwebs
everything's dirty and it's a complete mess.
But Gustav seems very excited for the project.
He's like, oh, it's a new canvas.
This is going to be great.
Francis is not so keen.
But he's continuing to explore when he hears a noise outside
and pokes his head out.
All the windows are open, not a screen in sight.
Goes outside and we see another cat with,
one eye missing.
This is a big cat.
We find out this cat's name is Bluebeard.
Cool name.
And Bluebeard is just,
they're on the second story of the house
and so Bluebeard's like looking down
at the ground below.
Francis at first doesn't see what he's looking at,
but then he turns and sees
a dead cat in the lawn.
Looks like its throat has been cut
or like bitten out.
And Francis is horrified by this.
And Bluebeard tells him the can openers did it.
Francis is confused by this.
Says a can opener, what do you mean?
He's like, the can openers are the only ones that could do this.
Like, they're evil.
And he's like, oh, you mean humans.
And I really liked that.
Bluebeard says, yes, I think it was the humans.
Francis is not so sure.
He says that this looks like his throat was torn out.
It seems like it could have been another animal.
But Bluebeard tells him that this is a fourth cat that has died this way recently.
Francis is immediately like on the case.
He's like, okay, that sounds like a serial killer to me.
Is Francis like a hard-boiled crime detective?
Like this is not his first rodeo?
He's not a hard world crime detective, but he does take to it very quickly.
He's, as far as we know, this is his first time solving a murder case, but it does, yeah, he's a natural.
Okay.
Amazing.
He then continues kind of exploring the neighborhood.
See the doctor's office that he smells a similar smell, like coming from it.
And it's like, okay, maybe this is something to do with whatever's gone on in mind you have.
house and it's starting to get dark.
So he goes home and he gets in bed and he just starts like rolling around in bed in a very cute way.
And then he, Gustav comes upstairs and says, let me put on your favorite music buddy and puts on some classical music.
Very sweet.
Francis falls asleep and then starts having a nightmare.
We see as he in the dream is like getting out of bed, the house now seems like really scary
and the like proportions of the house are all weird.
Like it's bending and kind of moving in weird ways.
And then like floorboards are falling.
And Francis is trying to run to steadier ground within the house and he's running up the stairs
to the second floor of the house.
And as he's running the stairs below him,
are falling away until he gets into this room and the door slams behind him and the room becomes
just this white void. And we see a man in the room facing away from Francis that says something
menacing. Or no, at first he says, I have something for you, Francis. And we turn around and we see
that this man he's wearing like a lab coat and this looks like a doctor and he has a jeweled collar
like a diamond collar and he's like look how handsome you'll look in this francis and francis does
look like oh yeah that's pretty nice and doctor puts it on francis and as soon as he does it becomes
like a metal collar attached to a chain that he's like chaining him up in and we see
the room kind of turns into a
almost vet office,
but more kind of test lab looking thing.
It's a scary dream.
Francis wakes up, thrashing,
freaked out,
but it was just a dreamtie's okay.
Then he goes outside the next day.
We see Bluebird,
blue beard again,
and they find a,
another dead cat.
Oh, no.
So this is number five.
And Francis is asking questions.
Okay, have all of the cats been male?
Because the two that he's seen have been male cats.
Bluebeard confirms, yes, they've all been male.
And then Francis asks, are they neutered or uncut?
Uncut.
And we find out that they are all not neutered.
Intact is what they say in the like show circuit, which is so gross.
Intact.
Intact.
There's a lot of talk about cat testicles in this movie in a way that I really wasn't expecting.
That's like a big part of the plot is that these cats are not neutered.
They are intact.
They're intact.
intact cat and Francis is really um yeah like taking this information seriously this is a surely this is a clue
and as they're uh at this crime scene a huge cat like hops over the fence blue beard recognizes this cat
Bluebeard's obviously been in this area for a long time.
He knows all the local cats.
So as this cat approaches, he's like, Kong, what are you doing here?
Kong.
Also, immediately got to be checking intact, uncut, Kong.
What's the standard blue beard, you two, Francis, how's it going?
Uncut, intact.
What's going on with you guys?
What's happening?
Also, like, I know we're talking about their balls, but for whatever reason, I
as we're saying this, I'm like, I'm thinking we're talking about circumcision.
Like my brain is, and it's like, we don't do that to cats.
Right.
That's not the thing.
Right.
The circumcision also isn't what we do to cats.
It's like, yeah.
No, no, we don't do that to cats.
No, no.
Don't do that to cats.
No, that would be, I don't like to think about that.
And yet here I am thinking about it.
Needed you all to know that I have to divert my brain from that every time it's brought up.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
So.
So we, there's also two other, it seems like Kong's like henchmen cats.
They are neutered.
Great.
And that is told to us because they're kind of made fun of for it.
Bluebeard and Kong are like kind of bragging about like all the lady cats that they've like
impregnated over the years.
Sure.
And Francis is thinking about, okay, these cats that were intact, these male cats,
it seems like they were maybe in heat when this happened.
Can male cats be in heat?
I didn't think so, but I guess I won't tell Francis he's wrong.
Just like in heat 24-7.
Yeah, I mean, like, don't.
That might be wrong.
It might be that like the female cats in the area are in heat, right?
now or something. And so he's like, I think the crimes are sexual in nature. Wow. This is huge.
The cat community to finally have this story told. Brave, really brave. Really brave.
So he goes home later, goes to bed, wakes up in the middle of the night because he hears a
noise upstairs and he goes to investigate. And on the second story of the house, Gustav.
He stops asleep in bed. He doesn't hear anything. Second story of the house, there's some, he
pinpoints, the noise is coming from this room, peeks his head through the door. This room is
filled with cats. There's got to be 50 cats in this room. And he looks up and sees that there's a
hole in the ceiling of this room. So they've come in from the outside. Oh, there's like a live
cats, like hanging out. Live cats just all gathered at watching something. We don't see what it is
right away. If you discovered that there was a room in your house that unbeknownst to you,
all the neighborhood cats came into to hide in, how would you feel?
I'd have mixed feelings. Yeah, I think I'd be pretty overwhelmed. I think I would mainly be
like, this has to stop. Yeah. Part of me thinks it would be fun to have 50 cats in your,
in a room in your house and like... Let me tell you what, man. Sometimes four is overwhelming.
Yeah. Like... That's a real slippery slope, Sammy. You cannot start saying.
in that stuff. You can't say it would be fun
to have 50 cats. With cats especially,
I think you hit a point where it becomes,
it does become scary.
Yeah.
Anything in too many. I really do think like, if there's too much of anything,
it's scary, you know?
How many cats do you think you could defeat in a fight?
Two.
I was going to say, like, might even just be one for me.
Like if a cat, depending on the size of the cat.
And how fucking,
if they're like really going at you with all they've got.
You just can't, it's just so hard to wrangle them.
You would really need a weapon, first of all.
Yeah.
If you have no weapon, you're absolutely screwed.
This is no weapon.
I'm talking hand-to-hand combat.
I think I could take two cats, but I would...
You'd get really fucked up still.
I'd get really fucked up.
Yeah, it would not be, it would not be a quick fight, but I do think I would win against two cats.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good to know.
I wouldn't like it for any reason.
I don't want to have to be.
the shit out of two cats.
But if you're forced.
But this is actually really good because we have four cats.
So between me and Joel,
I believe that if, I know we never would,
we never would want to.
But if there's like a cat zombie virus.
If some sort of, yes, like 28 days later
situation happened with the cats.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, they would absolutely bite us and we would get it.
But like, you know,
we could probably win.
Yeah.
But it would suck.
Oh, 50 cats in a room like freaks me out.
I got to say.
I think it would be kind of scary.
But one of my like dreams is to have a room filled with black cats and have to be able to like get to see which one bunk is.
Yeah.
To be like, can I?
Test your motherhood out.
Yeah, can I pick them out of a crowd?
You would know.
I know.
Well, also bunk would like come to you.
So it would have to, bunk would also have to have like amnesia to not know.
Have you ever had dreams where you're like you don't know which cat is your cat?
Like, have you ever had a dream where you're like, I have had that dream before where where I've had it with with Chi Chi and with Bertie, I think, where like a cat is walking around and I have to be like, that's not them. And I have to like, or there's like two that kind of, and I'm like, oh God, oh God, which one's. Yeah. Which even though I'm like certain that I could do it, I could do it in real life. I will say I do dream about my cats like close to every single night. There's, I have a lot of cat dream.
Yeah.
And they're always stressed dreams of, yeah, like them getting out or...
Yeah.
Yeah, I have a lot of dreams about my cats being, like, out in the world with me and being like...
Like, Theo was with us, like, walking around, like, a big target in a dream the other day.
And I was like, he's going to run away from us, but he just, he never did.
But it was stressful.
Have I told you guys about the time I had a dream that Mac was at, like, the bottom of a cliff, like a Midsomar-style cliff?
And an alligator fell off the top and smushed.
him.
Wait, so Mac had already jumped, like, done the sacrificial jump.
No, Mac was just, like, at the bottom from the start.
And I was trying to get him.
And then I saw that an alligator was...
Like, loonitune style?
Like, swished him flat?
Yeah.
And I was so devastated in the dream.
It, like, didn't see funny in the dream.
It was very funny when I woke up.
But, like, in the dream, I was, like, on my knees.
It would be awful.
Crying.
Yeah.
Bloody murder.
Do you guys believe in and think that you have like the cat parasite thing?
Yes.
Or like the cats like infect your brain and make you obsessed with them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if that's real, which I don't think that's up for debate, I think that's, that is just like a real thing.
Then like, yeah, I absolutely have it.
Yeah.
I think it's real only because, I mean, I know we've talked about this on the podcast before, but like I just want to reiterate.
I think it's real because I used to be so fucking obsessed with cats, like,
so obsessed with them. Like, it's like the only thing I cared about. Like, I just wanted, I just was
I would go to bed like thinking about cat paws, like thinking about like their little paws and like
wanting to touch the cat paw. Like that's all I wanted as a child. And then like that extended until
into my 20s. But then like I haven't lived with cats since I was like 22 years old basically. Like,
I mean, I didn't even live with cats in college, but like I would go home frequently enough. It kind of
felt like I was still close to them. And I think that I don't feel that way. I just don't feel
that way about cats anymore. Yeah. I just, I don't. And I really think, I think there's something
like biological, like there was something like chemical happening in my brain. Because I always,
my parents always had a gazillion cats. I was always surrounded by cats, my whole life. And I wanted
to talk about them all the time. I wanted to tell all my friends about them. When did it stop?
I really think it didn't stop until like, like, truly, I really don't think it stopped
until like maybe like my late 20s.
Okay.
So it was before you had kids.
Because I was going to say I feel like having kids also changes like priority levels.
No, because there was a moment where I really considered getting a cat.
And my mom almost gave me one of their cats because they have so many cats.
They have cats to give.
Just take it.
They got spares.
You want this one?
And I remember, and that was in my late 20s.
And I remember thinking like.
You know what? I don't think I actually want, I don't think I actually want a cat, which was kind of a huge thing for me.
Yeah.
Anyway, I just, I just think back on my, the parasite found its way out.
My younger self, and my younger self would be shocked and appalled that I don't have a cat right now.
They wouldn't even recognize me.
They would be like, who are you?
I don't trust you.
I don't like you.
Where are your cats?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm sure I have it.
Yeah.
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So all these cats are gathered around watching one main cat that we see
is conducting some sort of electric beam.
And he's chanting.
This is like very culty vibes.
He's chanting.
Do they notice Francis?
No.
Or no?
Got it.
Not yet.
But he's chanting about our clodendous.
We hope you accept our sacrifices.
Oh, mighty claw dandest.
And cats are throwing themselves into this.
electrical current, like sacrificing themselves.
And so you're just seeing them being like zapped, electrocuted.
It's killing them?
It's killing them.
But they're just like jumping into it.
And Francis obviously horrified by what he's seeing, very confused.
He also, to get a better look, climbs to the hole we saw in the ceiling.
Actually, it's like a hole in the ceiling to the attic above.
So he gets into the attic where there's like open a window or something.
That's where the cats came in.
But he gets a better vantage point by looking through this hole.
And he sees that Bluebeard is here.
I didn't trust Bluebeard from the beginning.
And he's shocked to see this.
And as he's kind of leaning over the edge of this hole,
a little piece of.
the floorboard crumbles beneath his paw and falls onto the cult leader looking guy.
They look up.
Everybody sees him.
He runs.
The cult leader says, like, find him.
Don't let him get away.
Oh, no.
And, oh, and we get to, like, look at the attic somewhere in here, too.
And there's, like, all lab tools, like, look.
looking like someone's been doing some experiments in here.
But then everybody's coming to chase him.
So Francis runs out through that window.
We're getting a rooftop chase.
There's cats coming at him from all angles.
They're trying to surround him.
Being chased by a cat would also be really scary.
Yeah.
They're good.
Like I would not want to be chased by a cat.
No.
They're so fast.
They're fast.
And they're like nimble.
they can like
And they could like leap onto you
Yes
So at our on our honeymoon
Joel and I went for a walk in this town
That had so many cats in it
And this one cat just decided to follow us the whole time
And it was great
It was awesome
Because it was like friendly
And it just like
It just kept
Just kept following us
And we would stop
And it would stop
And we would pet it
And we'd just keep going
And it would keep going
And that was the best
But if it had been chasing us
I would have been very scared
Yeah
Yeah I don't want to be chased by a cat either
Um
Oh
Did you hear
I guess.
You hear bunk?
Honestly, I never hear them, but I heard him.
That was a good one.
That was a loud one.
Okay.
So Francis is running across the rooftops, trying to escape from all of these cats that are chasing him when he falls through an open skylight into a house.
And in that house is a lady cat.
Is she hot?
Who's super hot?
She's a Russian blue.
Wow.
Gorgeous.
She's gorgeous.
And...
She intact?
I'm going to guess that she's spayed because she's an indoor cat.
And...
You know, it's illegal in L.A. County.
And I think in California for your pet to not be spayed or neutered unless you have to get, like, a special license.
Yeah.
You're going to not have your...
Yeah.
We got to be...
We've got to be spying and neutering our pets.
Must be.
Yep.
So she's not freaked out that a cat has fallen into her house.
And she's kind of like, oh, you guys up there always causing such a ruckus.
This is Felicity.
I can't remember if I said that.
She is blind as she turns around and sees and he gets a look at her.
He's like, oh, my gosh, are you blind?
And she says, yes, since birth.
Got cloudy eyes?
Not really, actually.
The animation here looks the same as all the other cats, but he can tell.
But he can tell.
And she says it's been this way ever since I can remember.
But I do still have pictures in my head of like a man in a lab coat.
And, Felicity.
And Francis is, of course, thinking, okay, well, that's interesting because I'm,
dealing with some lab stuff and I had a dream about a guy in a lab coat too so he asks her he's
a detective first and foremost so he says have you been hearing anything weird lately there's been
a string of murders and she says oh yes I've heard the death cries he's very he's very excited that
there's a witness and he asks her to describe exactly what she heard she says
First, she's heard like a tomcat yowling.
Like they're looking for a partner.
Again, I'm not sure if male cats can be in heat,
but this is the noise she's describing hearing,
like a mating noise, mating call.
And then she said she heard some.
So this is another horror movie that is about slut shaming,
that having sex will get you guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Always be stressed and be horny.
Never be horny.
Cross species, it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
So she says then it sounds like someone they knew well came up.
She couldn't make out what was happening,
but she heard another cat approaching.
Usually someone you know.
And then she heard the death cries.
So I have a little bit more information.
And he's asking her, what's the deal with claw dandum?
Do you know anything about that?
And I don't think she really knows anything about that
because she doesn't leave the house.
So she's, but she just hears all the madness
from within the comfort of her own home.
She's got a nice little fireplace that she's snuggled up by.
It looks lovely.
When Bluebeard's head appears up in the skylight
and he's calling to Francis, he's saying,
why are you running away? We just wanted to talk to you.
Francis goes to talk with Bluebeard
who's just like, yeah, I don't know. The cult meetings are pretty weird.
Like, I just go to them because I think they're funny.
But I guess some other people are pretty into it.
I don't watch a bunch of cats kill themselves.
It's like.
So fun.
He's like, I think it's like thrilling in a way. It's like exciting.
And but yeah, no, I don't like, I don't believe in Claude Andes or whatever.
whatever.
But that guy that was leading the sacrifice, his name is Joker.
He's the leader of the cult.
And you guys, I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm like, I'm a little fuzzy on kind of what the details of this cult are.
But there's another cat that Bluebeard brings up named Pascal that he says.
might know more.
He's like the smartest cat in town.
So maybe we should go talk to Pascal.
So they get to Pascal's house.
It's like this big, gorgeous home.
There's like commasutra paintings on the wall.
There's a painting of a man in a,
it's not a priest outfit, but some sort of religious,
like he's got like crosses on his suit.
And the little tag below it says Gregor Mendel.
So this person is very heavily featured in this home.
And then we go to another room and we meet Pascal.
Pascal is like an orange, fluffy cat, older cat, very regal.
And he's on the computer.
Sure. He's really smart. He's really smart. Does he reading classes on? No, he's, he's just fine with his own eyes. He's typing. He's typing. Pascal asks him, oh, my God, you can use a computer. And he says, oh, yeah, just, you know, just a little bit in my own cat way. And then he types in the word felidae. He says, do you know what this means? And he's like, yeah, it's something to do with cats, right? And this is, yeah, it's the umbrella term for all speech.
species within the feline community or something.
And he's keeping a running list of all the cats in the area.
He has like a directory, essentially, of all the cats and their breeds and their ages.
Normal.
And he's like, oh, Francis is interested in this and says, can you pull up the victims?
Can we see what they have in common?
He says, sure, sure, here we go.
pulls them up they are all
male European short hairs
and
Francis is scratching his chin
hmm this is very interesting what does it mean
it's like all male all male victims
and Pascal says
oh not anymore
there's been another murder since right before you arrived
oh no I haven't typed it in yet
oh no
Felicia did I say Felicity before
You said Felicity, but either way, I knew who it was going to be.
Was it Bluebeard somehow?
I just don't trust Bluebeard.
Blue beard is with them.
Hellily just does not trust Bluebeard.
Bluebeard's weird for sure.
He's a weird guy.
What kind of cat is Bluebeard?
He's a mancoon.
Nice.
There you go.
That's everything you need to know.
I don't need to know.
We had a mancoon growing up, Merlin.
Was he a troublemaker?
He was such a fucking troublemaker.
actually this is like really dark but my my dad would call Osama bin Laden growing up
because he would like truly terrorize the entire neighborhood he would break into homes
he would eat the food and they're really really smart they're really smart he would he knew
how to get into every single home he would eat the like anyone that had a dog he would eat
there you'd break into those homes and eat the food that they left out for their dogs really funny
he was a true menace to society
his own good. And it's really, it's actually really sad. My parents had him declawed because he was like so,
like, violent. And so, you know, because he wanted to be free. Yeah. And he had to live with this family,
unfortunately for him. But he still took down, like, he took down foxes, took down, like, baby deer.
He was like, he would bring things home that were, like, five times his weight.
Wow.
Merlin was my best friend growing up.
I think he's really, really cool.
They're really, really cool.
Merlin, oh, rest in peace.
Well, rest in peace.
Francis is devastated.
He runs to Felicity slash Felicia.
He was like, it can't be true.
I was just there moments ago.
He goes in through the sky, or looks in through the skylight again.
and Felicia slash Felicity's head has been ripped from her body.
Wow.
Unnecessary.
Rood.
It's really violent.
Really gory.
And he's devastated.
He's lamenting to Bluebeard.
Okay.
It's like personal now.
We got to find this killer.
And then it kind of has a strange transition.
And we go into another nightmare.
where the town is suddenly all like burnt down buildings.
And he follows this murder of crows as they lead him to a house that is just filled with mountains of dead cats.
Oh, Francis is.
It's so sad to think about cats having nightmares, but they probably do.
Yeah, I mean, they do little twitches and stuff and, like, make little noises.
Something's going on.
But, you know, hopefully they have nice dreams, too.
Yeah.
And from this huge pile of dead cats emerges the man we saw in that painting, Gregor Mendel saying something menacing again.
I don't know what he said, but he pulls these little like puppeteer strings up from all the cats and he starts like dancing all the dead cats around and their little.
little corpse bodies are in various like some of them are like only half bodies it's again like very
gory and gross like they're like little marionettes like little marionettes nasty and it's very scary
francis wakes up he's freaked out and he's got to do the thing that helps him clear his head
which is hunting rats unfortunately cycle of violence yeah
And he's, I'm not sure where he is.
Again, he's very free roaming.
He goes all around town.
So I'm not entirely, he might be just like up in the attic of his own house.
But wherever he is, he bumps into a TV, like an old TV, VH with one of the little VHS players in the built in.
And it turns on the VHS.
and we see a recording of someone doing some really horrible animal testing on cats.
They're like saying to the camera what they're doing.
They're clearly like conducting this experiment.
And they have these tubes of this like neon green liquid that they're saying like,
we are trying to develop this thing to heal wounds.
but the way that they're testing it is just like cutting cats fur or like cutting them open
and then sprinkling spraying this liquid on the wound and most of the time it's just killing
them it's it's burning acid like through them and they're like I think there's even a line in it
where he's like I think too there's too much acid in that's right now we got to like tweak
the formula but really upsetting
and we're continuing to watch this video
when this cat comes in named Claude Andis
And in the video?
In the video.
Claude Andes is brought into the lab.
They cut him open.
They drop the liquid on the wound and it heals.
And so something about Claudeandis
is
and I feel like
they've been tweaking
the formula too
but the doctor
in the video is saying
like
Claude Andes
he's a very special
cat
we're going to have
to dissect him
and figure out
like what it is
about him
that made this work
on him
and we find out
that the
doctor's motivation
is to create
a superior
breed of cat
sure
so we're getting
into some eugenics here, you guys.
Yeah, is that what this movie's about?
Yeah, it's a really weird movie.
It's a cat eugenic noir.
Oh, my God.
Really unexpected.
And, yeah, okay, yeah.
And also, are all these, like, is Gregor Mendel as, like, Pascal,
all these, like, real people, do you mean?
I have no idea.
I really was.
Okay, I feel like.
The movie's also, like, very short.
It's, like, an hour in 18.
minutes or something. And so it just like, it throws a lot at you real quick. And as I mentioned,
I was kind of struggling to keep up with what's going on. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Really.
Well, and it was, I'm just assuming German subtitles. Yeah, German with English subtitles. And I do
speak some German. So that also probably plays into it because I do get like fixated on kind of
listening to the German rather than like digesting the English.
The content of what's happening. So Francis is horrified, watching.
this video
when Kong
jumps into the attic with him
he starts fighting him
and
like admits to the murders
but kind of in a way that
we're not really sure if it's true
he's like yeah I killed him all
and I'm gonna kill you too
but he's got his two little henchmen there
and I don't know something about it feels off
but they're getting
a cat fight they're getting in a brawl
It's three on one because he's got his henchman.
Not even a human could handle that.
Not even a human.
And they're again, like running across the rooftops, chasing each other when they come upon another victim, another dead cat.
And this is a cat that Kong knows.
And so this stops Kong right in his tracks and he's devastated.
He says, Solitaire, my Solitaire.
My beautiful precious solitaire.
And we find out that solitaire was pregnant with Kong's kittens.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my God.
And her like stomach is torn out.
It's very gruesome.
I just want to say I just Googled Gregor Mendel and he is a real guy.
Is he the the punt punt it square guy?
He's Austrian.
He lived in the mid-19.
century and he is a founder of modern science of genetics.
Though farmers had known for millennia that crossbreeding of animals and plants could
favor certain desirable traits, Mendel's pea plant experiments established many of the
rules of hereditary, now referred to as the laws of Mendelian inheritance.
So I'll just say like all these names probably do have some kind of significance.
Yeah, and I did none of that research.
Yeah, fair, fair.
It was just going to bother me.
Yes.
But I will...
No, the Punnett Square was invented by a guy whose last name is Punnett.
Okay.
So that makes sense.
But I will also say that there's Gregor Mendel who's like featured in the nightmares and there's like painting of him on the wall.
But he's different than the doctor that's like performing these experiments.
I think I understand.
We'll come back to that.
Great.
So.
Kong is so sad and he knows that he like what he's because he was already trying to fight
Francis he is at first like you did it but then he's like oh no you couldn't have done it you
were with me this whole time and we see this and I told you I did it right and so we see a little
bit in the distance an old nasty old cat running off
that we're thinking, okay, maybe this is the...
Old nasty, like, convict style?
Yeah, convict style.
I really thought about convict.
We get a look at him,
and he's, like, missing fur on half of his tail and one of his legs.
Maybe this cat has been fucked with by a certain guy.
Mm-hmm.
But we're thinking that maybe he's the murderer,
so we're running after him.
and Kong and his two henchmen like kind of get confused and run in the wrong direction
because this old cat like hides somewhere.
But Francis sees him sneak into a little storm drain and follows him in there and tumbles down
this like a hole.
Again, a hole.
We don't like to go in holes.
But, you know, only bad things happen in there.
And the same is true here.
Where as he gets his footing and looks around, he sees just hundreds of dead.
cat skeletons.
Oh my God.
See, it's like the catacombs in there.
Bluebeard tumbles down after him and says, like, I saw you come in here, so what the
heck's going on?
And they are exploring this creepy room, and they see the cat, the nasty cat.
And they're about to confront him where he says, this cat like holds a paw over his face
protecting himself.
He says, do not strike the guardian of the dead.
Please, it's it.
I'm not anything bad.
I've just, I just guard the dead.
I'm not anything bad.
And this cat's name is Josiah.
And he explains that he did not kill any of these cats,
that the dead are brought to him by the prophet and father Joker.
Oh my God.
Laura is so deep.
It's really a lot.
And again, I'm sorry if I'm getting it wrong because it's, yeah.
I also hope a lot of people are getting a lot of cat name inspiration from this.
There's some good ones here.
Like Kong and Solitaire.
I want to get two cats and name Kong and Solitaire.
Solitaire is a great name per cat.
It is great.
And Claude Andes.
Let's not forget.
I'm Claude Andes.
So we know that now we're discovering that these killings have been going back many years.
This is not just six victims.
This is hundreds of victims.
We've got to find Joker is our only lead.
We don't know who the prophet is.
You know, we've got to figure this out.
I wrote in my notes here that Bluebird, Bluebeard,
sorry, I keep saying Bluebird.
Bluebeard, he can't stop talking about cod.
He just wants some cod.
This is a running gag, and it is pretty funny.
also just every time I think or talk about cod I have to say that the rock eats like 15 pounds of cod
a day or something really crazy look up the rock's diet yeah well and Duncan also recently got
really invested in cod he got a book about cod Duncan read a book called a lot of facts about
cod for example Cape cod is called that because of cod which is something that is maybe the most
obvious fact in the world, but that I had literally never associated cod the fish with Cape Cod the place.
Pretty interesting.
And they're related, if you can believe it.
A cod piece in Shakespeare wearing a cod piece all the time.
Yeah.
Cover up your manhood.
Fascinating.
You know, cod is like one of the rare fish you can find that's actually pretty affordable.
I feel like you can...
Cod's great.
You can really buy a lot of cod.
America was built on God if yes, Duncan.
Good for Duncan.
Good for Duncan, yeah.
Yeah, America doesn't run on Duncan.
It runs on Duncan.
It runs on God.
So we're trying to find Joker, but we're not sure where he is.
Bluebeard tells us that he lives a little further outside of town.
He's not right in the center where everybody else is.
It's getting late.
So Francis goes home and goes to bed.
He wakes up and he hears.
a cat in heat
a female cat in heat
yowling
he goes to follow
the sound
we see a gorgeous
orange cat with like
looks like
severe black
eyeliner like
just absolutely stunning
she's rolling around
spread eagle just
begging for it
absolutely fucking begging for it
this slut
oh my God do we get a freaking
cat sex scene.
Oh, I feel like it's like not fun when cats have sex.
No, it's not fun.
It's really not fun for the...
I think most animals it's not fun when they have sex.
Sharks?
Really bad.
Oh, I don't like it.
I don't, I mean, I'm not surprised to hear it.
Francis circles her for a little bit and then mounts her and yeah, they like, they grab the
scruff of the neck in their mouth.
They like bite their.
neck while they mount them. Mac does this to bunk all the time. It's really upsetting.
Oh, God. And they fuck. Francis afterwards says, so what breed are you? Making conversation very polite.
A little. Alice gets to know each other.
Coital conversation. And this cat's pretty coy about her breed, says, I'm a new breed, but also an old breed.
He asks what her name is.
She says, my name would confuse you or something like that.
That confused me.
But we're like, okay, hmm, interesting.
His name is like specimen 27 or something.
He came from a lab, number one.
He meets up with blue beard.
Not many orange cats are female.
Yeah.
So that's what I'm thinking, first and foremost.
Everyone, like, knows that he's had sex because they can smell it.
So they're like, who is she?
Francis describes, I's like, I've never seen a breed like this before, like some sort of new breed,
but she's also like a very old breed.
And Bluebeard recognizes this.
He's like, oh, yeah, there's been a lot of that kind of cat.
They're like less domesticated, a little like more wild than the cats that we know.
And Francis is like, okay, well, let's go talk to Pascal.
because he's really smart and he's got that computer he might know about the breeds.
Francis says, I'm going to go find Pascal.
You try again to find Joker.
We've got to get to spot on this.
Francis gets to Pascal's, who's, he's like being real, he's like talking in riddles almost.
He's not being super helpful in answering these questions.
he's like, well, maybe this killer is just the smartest cat that's ever lived and that'll be no catch.
He's being, yeah, I'd say a little obvious about it, but Francis is not picking it up for being like so, like wanting to be a detective so bad.
He's not really picking up these hints.
We cut to, we see Bluebeard at Joker's house.
It's empty.
He can't find him anywhere.
But he finds a whole bunch of cat statues that really freak him out.
There may be cat urns.
I don't know.
They're like, they're cat-shaped, like metallic-looking little containers.
Freaky.
He runs out of there.
He's going to Pascal's to tell Francis.
And Pascal is like, we see Pascal's talking to Francis.
and I don't know, just like being weird.
I can't remember what happens there.
Sorry.
Bluebeard tells Francis after he's like done talking to Pascal to, he's like worried for him.
He's like, I don't know what's going on.
Something weird is happening and you're like getting right in the middle of it.
And so just like you're putting a target on your back.
I just want you to be careful.
And Francis is like, well, Pascal's surely in danger then too because he, he's,
he's just like so smart and knows so much and the killer would surely be intimidated by that.
So we got to protect Pascal too.
And they call a meeting Pascal and Francis and they get all the neighborhood cats around.
And they're saying that we think something is going on with these like a lab,
doctor in a lab.
I think Pascal knows the doctor's name is Professor Paterius.
And Pascal says something like,
a lot of you fell victim to his
tests and don't remember.
And we do know like Bluebeard has a missing eye.
We saw the Guardian of the Dead is all fucked up.
We know that Felicia had her memory.
and so a lot of cats are looking around like, oh my gosh, yeah.
Maybe that's what happened and I don't remember.
And this like little girl cat chimes in at the meeting and says like, I don't think Claudeondas died.
Claudeondis, my grandpa said that Claudeondondis survived and killed Professor Paterius and has been like living in his home alone to this very day.
and Pascal is like, oh, well, that's crazy.
Obviously, that's not true.
And, like, Claudandis is dead.
And he says, who told you that?
Who's your grandfather?
And she says, well, my grandfather's Joker.
We know that Joker is in cahoots with the prophet, which maybe is Claudeondis.
And again, I'm not entirely sure.
It's a lot.
Well, the web is intricate here.
Absolutely.
But Francis is still not putting it together.
And he's saying like, well, Joker must have killed Claude Andes.
And Joker must be the killer that we're all looking for.
And so they, Bluebeard and Francis return to Joker's.
And they find him dead.
Yeah.
So now Francis is like, wait, okay.
So Claude Andes is probably alive and is probably the killer.
and then he's for some reason looking at a book of like Egyptian history and hieroglyphics
and sees the like, you know, cats were worshipped in Egyptian times and he sees a cat that looks
very similar to his lady cat that he just had a sexual encounter with.
So Francis goes.
to confront Pascal, who admits finally, yes, he is Claude Dandis, and he did kill Professor Paterius.
Wow.
And he has been since then trying to breed this supercat, which seems like Dr. Paterius was also doing so.
I don't know what. It seems like they're on kind of the same side. So that's why I'm a little confused about it.
I'm sure. He's like, let me do it. I don't want you to do it. I want to do it. Right. And so he's been
killing all the Tom cats that have been trying to mate with the perfect women, the perfect newly bred women.
Because he's trying to breed cats back to their natural form, which was a super,
superior breed that humans worshipped.
He says mankind is evil and he wants cats to rule again.
Got it.
Honestly, like, same?
Down.
Francis says, no, some humans are good.
My human is good.
Gustav.
Gustav is good.
And he's like, I won't let you do this.
So they get into a big crazy fight.
Oh, wow.
They knock over the computer, which sparks and causes a fire in the house.
Oh, my God.
And they're swiping at each other.
This is a brutal cat fight.
They're drawing blood.
This is what it would be like because cats fight really crazy.
Yeah.
And it gets to be like kind of slow motiony.
It looks like Pascal slash Claudezance is coming in for the kill.
It's almost like that shot of scar or Mufasa.
I can't remember where it's like slow motion like flying through the air, claws out, mouth open,
just ready to pounce and attack and rip you apart.
And we see Francis doing some little calculations.
What am I going to do to defend myself?
And Francis leaps in the air just below Claudendus.
and takes one little claw and frigging guts him,
slices his belly completely open.
Yuck.
Claude Andes collapses on the floor,
and in his dying moments,
he says there's so much evil in this world
that I became evil.
Oh, wow.
What a final statement.
You either die here or you live long enough
to see yourself become the villain.
Oh, God.
Then we had seen Bluebeard go into the house a little bit before Francis.
And as Francis is now running out of this burning building,
he sees Bluebeard in a puddle of his own blood and the downstairs.
And he grabs Bluebeard by the scruff and drags him outside of the house.
And we see Bluebeard in his dying moments.
I'm sorry. I never trusted you, Bluebeard.
I'm so sorry.
And Bluebeard dies.
And I don't remember if he says anything, I don't think he does.
Well, actually, in the Wikipedia, it says Francis rescues an injured bluebeard from the flames.
So maybe Bluebeard survives.
We don't follow up on that.
But we do get a voiceover now again from Francis, just like in the beginning, where he's narrating how Claudandis lost his innocence.
Just like the humans, we must go on living.
believing in a world where animals and humans can all live together in harmony.
And that's the end of the movie.
Whoa.
What a film.
Really strange.
Sorry, I really struggled with it at the end there because it's just completely bizarre.
The metaphor is both so clear and so unclear to me.
Yeah, it didn't seem to me like the movie was about humans and cats being able to like live in harmony together.
That wasn't...
No. No.
But also like, who's the animals in this metaphor?
Right.
Right.
You know what?
I don't want to think about it.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing about me right now.
Here's the thing about me right now.
I don't want to give it one more thought.
I think that the takeaway is eugenics is bad.
That is the takeaway.
And I agree.
Yeah.
And the ends do not justify the means.
Anytime anyone is starting to say,
Well, we got to do it.
This is just how it has to be.
It's just how it has to be.
That's a sure sign that that person is becoming evil.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We should care about the means.
On second thought, let's not name our cats, clodendis.
Not after this cat.
Not after this cat.
Solitaire Kong still up for.
Bluebird.
Jokers.
That's a controversial one, but you could do that.
Yeah, I wouldn't love to meet somebody whose cat was named Joker.
No, no.
If that's you.
Sorry I said that.
Francis.
Francis is a great name for a cat.
Felicity, Felicia.
Yep.
Bunk, Mac.
Yep.
Convick still on the table.
Wow.
That was weird.
You were right.
Yep.
Really weird one.
Hit the nail in the head.
That was a weird one.
And I hope you all enjoyed it.
A lot of cat tangents.
That's my favorite thing to talk about.
So I had a great time.
We do.
to do.
I do love cats very much.
They're great.
They're really great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Love you listeners.
Love you guys so much.
Love you guys.
I'm going to go have a peaceful sleep right now.
Yeah, we're all going to see snug in our beds.
Yep.
After that.
Yeah.
Love you guys.
So from all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch, I guess I could try to do
German accent, or cat accent.
Cat accent.
I can't do it.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Meow.
I'll be to zane.
I'll be to same.
We didn't.
We made it.
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That was a headgum podcast.
Hi, I'm Drew Offiwalo.
And I'm Jason Offiwalo.
And we host the Headgum podcast, Two Idiot Girls.
Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins.
We talk about all kinds of things like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between.
So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube.
New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.
