Too Scary; Didn't Watch - HOKUM

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

The perfect Mother's Day film, we had loads of good craic!Movie Intro @ 16:27Trivia @ 20:24Recap starts @ 25:31Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy. And you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch the Horror Movie Recap Podcast for those Too Scared to Watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies.

I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies so I watch them so that you don't have to. And I am very excited for this week's movie. I think this is my most anticipated horror movie of the year, which feels sad because now it's about to be over. There's not even half. There's other ones. There's other ones. There's so many.

There's so many. Oh my God. We are really blessed this year. Honestly, like, yeah, kind of too many. Spread it out, guys. Specifically in the month of May, it has been a lot. A lot in the month of May, but we're grateful. We're grateful.

Is May like the new October is May the new horror season? It's the spring flowers come and we are terrified, horrified. Could be. It could be. I guess so. Yeah, I don't really know what is going on. But I think we're moving toward a year-round horror. I think it's just the only movie that gets made anymore, which again, not complaining.

Works for us. A lot of people have been very excited about this movie, so I'm really excited. Well, if you're so excited that you just can't freaking wait and you don't want to hear a single second of us talking about something that's not this week's movie, there are timestamps in the show notes. because first I would like to know Emily and Henley, did anything scary happen to you this week? I mean, just a little thing. Friday night, we went out to a bar and it was crowded in this bar. And, you know, we had to go.

I know what I'm going to say. Just stop right there. And I had to, say it was there. And I had to, you order at the front. And then we had to, like, went out to the patio because it was the only place there was space. So we're maneuvering our way through the bar. And I'm, you know, I'm, I've got eyes up. And I'm looking, I'm looking to make my way through the crowd. And in making my way through this crowded bar, I found myself tripping over and spilling wine onto a dog.

Oh, no. Somebody had a big dog laying, you know, I'm, I'm looking for vertical obstacles here. You know, I'm, I'm immediately see the situation. I'm trying to, like, make my way to, through a crowd of people, upright human people. I didn't expect horizontal obstacles. I did not expect that I thought everything that could be in my way would be in my eye line. And it wasn't. There was a big dog on the ground, tripped just right over this dog and certainly spilled wine

onto this dog. And the dog, he was so cute. I turned around. Because I was also like, what the fuck just happened? I was so confused. What just happened to me? I turned around. And this dog was looking at me like, why did you do this?

that. I was like, I didn't mean to. I was like, I'm so sorry. I also feel like the owner's looking at me like, why did you do that? And I was like, why is your dog? Like, I like, I like your dog. I didn't. It just was really a shocking. Everyone was shocked. Everybody's faces were, what just happened? Just really, just a really shocking moment. We all moved past it, but it was a surprise. It was a surprise. And it was almost a falling all the way over situation. It could have been a falling. It could have been. You caught it. You caught it at the end.

I got it. I did not fall all the way down, but... It was pretty close. I did spill wine on a dog, so... A little scary. Yeah, you're right. They were kind of looking like... Why would the fuck would you walk over my dog?

Why did you do that to my dog? And I wouldn't have... I promised you and wouldn't have wanted to. Really wasn't trying to do that. It was as if it was like, well, this is a big dog party. Why aren't you looking for all the... dogs. And I was like, well, because it's actually a crowded bar

11 p.m. and I just wasn't expecting there to be a bit. I think that's part of it too. It was 11 p.m. Oh, that's too late for a dog. Dog needs to be bed. Why is your dog out? The dog needs to be asleep. What is your dog out? Your dog needs to go to bed. Home to sleep. I just don't understand. It's sleeping here in the bar, which is

yeah. And I think that's also why it was like, what just just happened? Why did you do that to me? And I was like, I'm so sorry. Anyway, it's just a surprising turn of events. Was it like a service dog or just just a dog. I mean if it wasn't in uniform so I think it was just a dog around the town. Yeah. It was a big doodle, a big doodle. Um, cute, really cute. But again, just, it was just really surprising is what it was for all involved. Wow. But, um, you know, we, we all, I think, made it out okay.

I think the dog's fine. But surprising, surprising, surprising situation. Um, I wish I had something just as surprising and just as exciting, just as interesting. Yeah, it was exciting is what I was. It was really, it was exciting. I, okay, I don't have anything. Sammy, you've got to go so that I can't something because I literally, I literally can't think of anything remotely interesting to talk about. You know, sometimes that happens. I mean, you did tell us you received more happy Mother's Days today than happy birthdays across your entire lifetime. So that feels like something. That's true. That's true. the amount of group text chains I've been on with people who I haven't talked to in years. But they know you're a mom.

And I'm included in a Happy Mother's Day chain. I'm setting Happy Mother's Day out to everyone. I know Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers listening. Happy Mother's Day. It's no longer Mother's Day. But it was. And every day is Mother's Day. Of course I wish a Happy Mother's Day to you.

But also what's going on here? It feels frantic this year. It feels like people are overcompensating. People are compensating for something. People are tripping over themselves. Tripping over dogs to say, yeah. It's, happy Mother's Day. I think if I were to guess, I think it's that everyone's having a really hard time.

And we're like, you know who's probably really having a hard time? Moms. And they're not wrong. How are the moms doing? Let's talk to all of them. I would say if you are trying to solve the reason why mothers are unhappy by wishing Mother's Happy Mother's Day once a year, you're trying to, it's like trying to fix the Titanic with a band-aid.

Like, that is simply not enough. And it will never be enough. But what if it's 10,000 band-aids? Because everybody tells you. I'm not, still not enough band-aids. To stop that shit from breaking in half, Sammy? Come on, 10,000. Yeah, we need a different tool entirely.

I think is what you're getting at. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. I guess a lot of people did wish me Happy Mother's Day today in a way that was just shocking and surprising and then felt like a burden. Like, soon it was a burden. Because also it's, it is not your first Mother's Day. You know, it is in fact your fifth.

I know. Maybe it's just amps up in volume. In volume as my children become more present and available. You have more kids. But again, it's still not your first Mother's Day with more than one kid. I still say, Henley, for what it's worth, just a little interesting now that I'm thinking about it, I have lots of friends who are moms to the point where I don't really. wish people happy Mother's Day. I'm like, well, it's too many.

Who am I going to pick and choose? Yeah. And you're like the only friend that I said happy Mother's Day too. So I added to the burden. You know what? There it is. Sammy, you just hit the nail on the head. Everyone's favorite mother. It's that I don't, it's that the second I saw people wishing other people a happy Mother's Day, I said, fuck those moms. Why isn't it just me? Why isn't everyone directing their attention only at me? That's what I wanted. That's what I meant to say. No, I don't know. I guess, sure. this is the scary thing that happened. So many Happy Mother's Days to me.

It's almost over, it's almost over. Hopefully no more. I'm done with it. Don't you dare comment in the comments, Happy Mother's Day to Emily. It's over. It's going to be over. She got enough.

She got enough. I told Sammy that I'm going to listen to this whole recap with my eyes closed. I'm going to have my eyes closed sitting in the chair. This is your Mother's Day gift. And my mother's day. You just rest. You just rest. Do it like one of those, like I love the headspace

sleepcasts. Yes. I recently re-downloaded Headspace and accidentally forgot to cancel my year-long subscription before the free trial ended, of course. But now I have them for a year, which, you know, that's cool.

Rocket money. Yeah. But this could be a sleepcast for you, Henley, is what I'm saying. Just close your eyes. Rainy antique shop. Rain Day Antiques. They've got a lot of new ones since the last time I was subscribed

to Headspace. And so that's been fun. There's a lot of new ones. I'm curious. I did like those sleepscapes. I love those. I love them too. Dang. Is this an ad for Headspace by accident? I mean, I've already paid for my year subscription. So I don't know what I, I don't know what I would possibly have to gain from them telling us to do an ad. It's the only way I want I'd ever do it. No, I actually really do love Headspace and sleep casts and I get nothing. I get nothing from it, but the pleasure of sharing my own joy with others. I'm sure this will be exactly

like a sleep scape, right, Sammy? It's not. I'm not going to be stressful. I'm not going to be stressful or scary. Just let it be sounds. Yeah, exactly. Just associate words for meaning. Okay, I can do that. Real quick.

And you'll be all good. I've already basically done that. Just being online does that to your brain automatically. It's true. It's true. Yeah. That's a skill that we're all sharpening daily. Which brings us to my scary thing.

Oh, boy. Which we're not going to make too big of a deal out of it. But I watched the Los Angeles mayoral. debate and the California gubernatorial debate. Oh, my God. We don't say enough. Gubernatorial. Gubernatorial.

Gubernatorial. And boy, oh, boy, some real freaky stuff happening here in California. This is obviously only, only affects Californians and people who live in Los Angeles. But Spencer Pratt is running for mayor of Los Angeles. Spencer Pratt of Laguna Beach. Spencer and Heidi. And The Hills, Spencer and Heidi reality show. You know, I'll be honest and say I love his hummingbird content, but the appreciation

stops there. Yeah, he's like MAGA, right? Yeah, very maga. Yeah. And really into the idea of just fully criminalizing homelessness, which made me very sad hearing just how little empathy people. have. But anyways, I guess the, I don't know how worried to be about things. I don't know if you, if all of our listeners have heard, but both races are top to go on to the, to the general elections.

And so like for the first time in a while, there's a possibility that there will be two Republican candidates for governor, not for mayor, but for California. And, I'm a little worried about it. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. Fair. Because there's not a super clear, first of all, there's like one million people running.

And there's not a super clear frontrunner in the Democratic side. And I'll say that the scary thing is that I'm considering voting for Tom Steyer. I will say my mind is not made up. So I'd love to hear our listeners' thoughts. It is the DSA recommendation, which is a DSA. It's the DSA recommended vote, which is crazy. That that feels I am. What's going on, you guys?

What's going on? Why is it so bad? But maybe we can fix it by telling everybody we know Happy Mother's Day. It doesn't help. It's not helping. Well, is it worth a try? It's worth a try. But I will say two things about Tom Steyer.

he is of the like main candidates. I know there are some like Democratic Socialist candidates, but they just do not have much traction, which in this scenario is unfortunately like kind of a bigger deal than usual. Because obviously, normally I just want to vote for who I want to vote for. Anyways, I'm I'm crowdsourcing help here because I'm really not sure what to do. But one thing I will also say about Tom Steyer is that he was a regular customer. at the coffee shop I worked at for years. And so I've,

he was sweet to me literally personally. Hey, well, you know what? If that needs to be the thing we hold on to, maybe that needs to be the thing we hold on to. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know what to hold on to, generally speaking about anything in any moment.

For mayor, I'm voting for Nithia Raman. I know. Do we think she could win? Probably not, huh? We all vote for. What if we all vote for her? If we all vote for? We got to just drawing hands and say, we're doing this.

Let's all vote for Nithia. For real. Let's all vote for Nithia. And you guys tell me who to vote for governor. You tell me. You tell us. I told you mayor, you tell me, governor. That's how this works.

And that's just fair. And we're just being fair about it. So everybody vote for Nithia, but we'll vote for whoever you tell us to vote for governor. It's not that seems fair to me. We'll do a poll. We'll do a poll on our Instagram. And that's how much we trust you. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I believe the frontrunner is a guy named Steve Hilton, who I watched in the debate. And I don't think I've ever hated anybody more in my life. And it just can't happen. That can't happen. Yeah. So we got to all figure out who we're voting for in the primary so that it's not. Never hated anybody more in your life.

There's a lot of candidates. Yeah. I'm being dramatic there. But boy, did he rub me wrong. Oh, yeah, he's bad. Yeah, he's, I mean, he's bad. So, yeah, I just feel a little scared about some of this stuff. I know.

I know. Be really bad if we had a Republican governor and Republican mayor. Oh, God, don't even say that. Spencer Pratt's really doing the Trump thing. It's crazy how well that still's working. Yeah. I don't know. It's scary.

I don't know. So we just got to check in with our. fellow Californians, fellow Los Angelinos. Yeah. And let's, let's, it's got on the same page here, folks. Okay. Let's get on the same. Let's figure this out because I don't want this to happen.

Okay. Thank you for the wake-up call, Sammy. That was a more important message than the Happy Mother State. Let's put a timestamp in the show notes for just what Sammy had to say. Well, I think my dog story was pretty good. No, I don't. I think, let listeners decide what they think is good to listen. You just put dog story in the timestamps.

Two minutes in for the dog story. Our show notes become just like full, like, incomprehensible. I think is important. It was a deeply, listen to. Idiocentric personal jokes. Isn't that the whole fucking thing?

That is kind of the whole thing. That actually is the whole thing. If you're still here, that's on you. If this is your first time listening, that's also on you. That's also on you. And there's a million time stamps in the show notes. You can figure out exactly what you want to listen to and when.

Oh, yo, yo, yoy. Okay, it's a time for the fun to stop and for us to listen to this. It's time for the fun to stop. The other scary thing I did this week was I saw three horror movies this week. Wow. We're only going to be talking about one of them today. But this was a big seeing horror movies in the theater week for me. Other ones coming soon.

So stay tuned. in future episodes. But today we are talking about Hocum, written and directed by Damian McCarthy, starring Adam Scott, Florence Ordesh, David Wilmot, Michael Patrick, and Peter Coonin. It is in theaters now. And I loved it. Yay. A fief. Huge fief.

Yay. I would have been really stressed if you felt any differently. Yeah. And it was scary. I had high expectations because Damien McCarthy is the writer-director of caveat and oddity. He is an Irish filmmaker. And caveat and oddity both scared the shit out of me in the comfort and safety of my own home on a small television. So I was really nervous to see this in the theater.

I made Duncan and Jenna go with me, sit on either side of me, keep me safe. And it was super fun. I was definitely plugging my ears a lot of the time or one ear sometimes I do just one make it a little quieter. Caviot was so scary too. I just was remembering what caveat was about. Me too. I had to Cavill fucked me up. I had Joel try to tell. I was like, what one is that again? Because we're with another friend who he didn't want to split. And he was like, a guy is asked to take care. And I was like, right. Oh, God. Oh, no. It was so scary. Oh, he's really good at these movies. He's freaky. This guy is freaky. And, And he, I think Audity scared me more. Than Hocum or caveat?

Than caveat. I think Hocom is the least scary. Sorry. Well, you know what? But it doesn't be not scary. It's just because it's Adam Scott. I think that's part of it. Because of that.

And also it does feel funnier in general, which breaks the tension up. And part of that, again, might be because of Adam Scott. But, yeah, I think the concept of oddity is just more unnerving in general, like some guy coming to your door and telling you that there's a man inside your house and to, like, let them in so that they can help you. I mean, I really. Oh, talk about being in a rock and a hard place. I hope to never, yeah. Yeah. Who do you choose the man in front of you or the unknown man?

The man in front of you is telling you. Impossible. Impossible choice. That's such a better question than man or bear, the man in front of you or the maybe man behind you. That's truly. Yeah. So that one stuck with me the most because I was just so creeped out by the idea of it. Whereas this one's about a witch.

And I love witches. Witches are good. There's no such things about witch. Well, sorry, Henley. Okay, well, this is propaganda against witches. Yes. Who are good 100% of the time. Yeah.

So it's like it doesn't stick with me as much because, yeah, exactly, witches are good. There's no bad witches. So I go home and go, well, that was a load of Hocum. Oh, my gosh. There it is. That said, I mean, I was like pretty tense the whole time. But it's, I didn't bring it home with me. Right.

Perfect. Okay. I like that kind of movie. And you know, maybe watching the other ones at home is part. It was already home with you. So maybe go to the theater. I actually think watching a scary movie at home is, for me, it's scary. I guess it can be.

Because it's like more intimate, you know? Yeah, maybe that's part of what's. Better about a theater. Yeah. I left it right at the theater. Yep. The ghosts, the demons, they stay in the theater. The portal.

It's in the theater. It's out near a living room. It's not my bedroom. Nope. Fuck. Hocum has a 88% on Rotten Tomatoes. Pretty good. 76 on Metacritic and a 7.4 on IMDB.

Holy shit. All very good. Very good scores. Budget was 5 million. So far it's made 12 million. Wow. Which I can't tell if I'm like surprised by that or not. I feel like I have almost no understanding of which movies are going to do like.

amazingly well in which ones. I don't know. It seems hard to protect. Also, I'm kind of surprised by a $5 million budget is like, that's not a lot of money. Yeah, it's pretty low. Kind of impressed. No spoilers. But is it in like one location, basically?

Yeah, pretty much. And I think I couldn't find a confirmation for this. But if you'll remember, parts of oddity and caveat are filmed in the same location. there in this like castle somewhere in Ireland is building in Ireland in West Cork and I believe part of this is filmed there as well. I kind of recognized it but it's set decorated differently. So no, can't confirm or deny, but I suspect that it was filmed in,

at least part of it was filmed in the same location. But yes, most of it does take place. It's pretty contained. And I feel like that's kind of his. style is like that. Being isolated in like a building or on an island or... Scary way to be. And then just one piece of trivia that I guess will make sense as we get into it,

but there is a scary rabbit person in this movie. A scary rabbit person. Yes. A scary rabbit man. And there's also a scary rabbit person. a rabbit woman. Wait, aren't there rabbits in oddity and caveat too?

Yes, there's a scary rabbit in well, in both of them, but it's caveat is the like little drummer rabbit thing. Yes. And Damien McCarthy loves his little like antiques and trinkets and toys and little little

cursed objects and things. Oddities. His little oddities. Exactly. But the rabbit comes back a lot and I just read that it's because he was like very traumatized by the movie Watership Down as a kid and has just always had a little fear of of rabbits since. Watership Down is one of those fucked up.

There's so many books you have to read when you're a little kid that are like so. I don't know anything about Watership Down. I haven't seen it or read it and but I looked up some images and was like, yeah, this looks like fucking really upsetting. It's just like a way for them to teach children about like horrible. grief and death, but through animals, which is actually, like, worse. It's like, it's like, literally every movie always. It's just like, every movie's about that. I 100% if you were like, water ship down, do you know what that's what that is?

You'd be like a battleship movie with Rihanna. Yeah, there is, there is actually like a zero, a negative percent chance. I would ever be like, it's an animated movie about rabbits. Yeah. Well, it was first a book. Okay, a book about rabbits? Wouldn't I guess? I could literally never have guessed. I just, I had to read it. I was like a signed reading when I was a kid.

And it was like, Jesus Christ. The, the little blurb that comes up when you search it, it's an ecological tale of how men are destroying the earth. And inadvertently, it seems killing innocent wildlife. So that's not fun at all. Yeah. I mean, there was a lot of that in the 90s. And then look what we did.

We said, let's ignore it. And let's. Yeah, like, um. For a gully. Let's pretend that never happened. I'm going to have to watch it because that sounds like my favorite movie, Flo. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, very sad and upsetting. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's all the trivia I have. Has Adam Scott done? Yes, Crampus.

I was like, what horror movies has he done? He was also in the monkey. He was in the monkey. Oh, the monkey. Just briefly, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Adam Scott. He's great in this.

I saw Adam Scott one time when I was at an Ohio. Nice. Yeah, we were at the Ohio. What's that hotel called? I can't remember. He was there with his family. I was there with Tim. I said, hello, Adam Scott.

I said, hello, Adam Scott. It's me, Henley Cox. I'm here with my family. You're here with yours. That's good to see you, Hunley. Hello, Adam Scott. And that was it? We will watch the trailer at the end.

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We begin in a vast desert. This really threw me right off the bat. This is an island? Where the fucking iron? We're not an island. What's going on? Where am I? Is this where an antique came from, perhaps?

Maybe an old rabbit? That's a good thought, but no. Fuck. Okay. We see a conquistador and a small child, like, servant-looking kid, alongside of him and they are trudging through the sand. The conquistador is looking at a little map, hand-drawn map, little treasure map type thing and finds what he's been looking for.

There is a red circle in part of the sand, and we cut to Adam Scott at a desk, in what looks like the filming location of oddity. Set deck is different, but the bones are the same. And we see him typing on a laptop, the epilogue to a novel. I would love someone to run the data on how many horror movie protagonists, percentage-wise, are authors. I know.

Is it like 100% or like 98? It's very funny because it's also like, well, I'm a writer. So I guess What jobs do people have? I mean, the one that comes to mind. You're right. Or is it because novelists are tend to be haunted by demons or go clinically insane? Is that why?

I'm sure there's many reasons why. We'll never know. Keep going. Maybe this story will tell us. It's definitely a trope. And I'll be honest, I could do without this whole part of the movie. Yeah. It's been a new job.

job. Yeah. Hobby. Is it a hobby like a dentist? A hobby like a dentist. Yeah. This is extremely difficult, difficult, really hard hobby. They don't really let you do it as a hobby, honestly.

You kind of got to seek it out yourself. It should be more like studio execs, corporate execs, who are being haunted by demons. Anyway, sorry, just putting that in in case anyone's listening. That would be funny. That's good. That's good. So he's, he's clacking away the keys. It's a dark, rainy night.

He's writing the third installment of his successful Conquistador trilogy. I mean, none of us can get enough of Conquistador. I have a third pin one. I want to read about Conquistadors. Cut back to the desert. We see the Conquistador pulls out a glass bottle with a little scroll inside. And we find out he's supposed to break. this bottle in the, in the middle of this circle, and then something's going to happen. We don't know,

we don't know what, but that's what he's trying to do. And as he pulls it out, he realizes, like, what's he going to break it on? He's, like, hitting it down into the sand. And obviously, that's not doing anything. We see the little boy, like, saying, like, I'll find a rock. I'll find a rock. digging through sand searching for a rock. There's nothing. Oh, my God. What are we going to do? The conquistador starts like tapping the bottle against his head and being like, think, think, think.

And then as it's thumping on his little skull, he gets a little light bulb, looks over at that little child. Oh, my God. and calls the boy over. We see back to Adam Scott typing and says like he brings down the bottle onto the boy's head, smashing his skull. Cut back to the desert. See the kinky's door raise the bottle up. But just then back in the house, Adam Scott's name is Om in it, Omm, Baman.

Oh man. Or Bowman. So O'm hears something and looks up and on the stairs across from him, a woman is just standing in shadow. He freezes, grabs the lamp that's on his desk, twists it towards the shadow. She's gone. We see it cuts to the reverse shot. She's right behind him. Jump scare.

but he doesn't see. So he puts the laptop away. He's going to come back to it later. Is this a ghost or a real woman? It's a ghost because she's gone again. Okay. We're getting ghost. It's definitely ghost vibes.

It's definitely ghost vibes. Yeah. She's she like moved. Right. Right. Yeah. So he gets up. He pulls out a box of trinkets.

Oh, Jesus Christ. And inside there is a. A handgun. Like a trinket handgun or a real handgun? It's a real hand. Yeah, sorry. Guess trinket is not the word. A gun's not a trinket.

Yeah. You sound like you're running for California governor. Trinkets for everyone. He pulls out, yeah, trinkets is not the word I was looking for. This is like a box of memories. Memorabilia. Family memorabilia. What word am I looking for?

for keepsakes keepsakes the family heirlooms tokens no it's not a token either it's a gun an airloom seems right the gun could be an heirloom can a gun be an heirloom it's more an heirloom than a trinket certainly it's a musket what kind of gun is it it's a little handgun uh does it look old is it it looks old an antique handgun antique clock someday antique clock and antique clock And there's also some postcards and photos of his parents, including a photo of his mom, leaning against a big redwood tree. There's some writing on it says, like, me in the big redwood tree or something like that. And then the postcard is from their honeymoon at the Bilberry Woods Hotel in Ireland.

And he looks over and on the counter in his living room are two containers of ashes, one that says mom, one that says dad. So with this, we're going to Ireland. Okay. We arrive at the Bilberry Woods Hotel. Ome pulls into the parking lot And we see a groundskeeper That has just killed a goat It's like dragging this goat corpse around

It's pretty upsetting Ome asks him Why did you have to kill it? He says oh these goats are a pest They're a nuisance He says couldn't you have just like shoot it away We see he killed it with a crossbow And

And this groundskeeper is pretty gruff and like, no, I couldn't have, okay? Like, leave me alone. Not a friendly, warm welcoming. Ome goes to the front desk to check in. And while he's waiting in the like little welcome area, there's an old man telling a spooky story to two young boys about a witch that used to. to live in these woods that would capture travelers

or people who get lost in the woods, put them in shackles and drag them down to the underworld and as they were pulled past all the other souls in the underworld, they get like ripped apart. And Ome looks over at this and is like, hey kids, do you know this man?

And they're like, no. He's like, go find your parents and, like, kind of scolds the old man. I was like, leave him alone. Like, stop being weird. And just then the front desk guy comes up. His name's Mal. And he's checking him in and says like, oh, hi, whatever to the old man. We find out in this interaction.

The old man is the owner of the hotel. Oh, always putting your foot in it. And Ome looks like he does not give a shit. all. He's not embarrassed at all. He's like, whatever, fuck that guy. Ome is very, like, also quite gruff and unfriendly. Say my way or the highway. Like every novelist, every writer's that way. So the Mal is checking him in, getting him set up with his key and stuff, and he says, he sees his name on his credit card and he's like, oh, Ome Bauman, are you the writer?

My son is like a big fan. Maybe he's, I could bring in his book and you could sign it. And Ome says, nope. So he's being an asshole. Mal's like, okay, gives him his key. He heads up to his room and... The guy writing the conquistador books is not nice. It's really strange.

What? I thought he'd be like so warm and open to pick such a topic. Concucinators in a desert with a slave boy? Oh, man. So he's up looking for his room when he passes the honeymoon suite, which we're clocking because we're presuming that's where his parents stayed. So he's curious about it. But as he passes it, we see the old man and the groundskeeper locking it up and looking kind of suspicious. It has this big, like, chain door in front of it that's like, don't go in.

That's so funny. So he's a little confused, thrown off by that. Continues on looking for his room. He can't find it. A woman who also works at the hotel named Fiona, comes by and offers to help him. He's pretty rude to her as well. She asks him if he's lost and I can't remember what he says.

He's like, yeah, this fucking place. He's like, he doesn't make any sense. And she's like, well, with that attitude, you can stay lost by. And then he like softens to her and is, a little bit nicer, but we respect her being an asshole right back to him. Oh, I should do more of that too. I love that. Yeah, yeah, it did.

I was just like, oh, this girl's cool. She's awesome. And so she ends up helping him find his room and tells him, you know, if you need anything, let me know. And he's like, actually, do you know where this redwood tree is? I'm here because my parents had their honeymoon here. and I would like to find this tree, which tells him where it is,

cut to him at the tree with the two containers of ashes. He opens his moms and, like, sprinkles it very caringly and lovingly, like, all around the base of the redwood tree. And then he opens his dad's and just, like, dumps it, like, shakes it, like, throws the can. Which I thought was, like, a very...

ever. Yeah. It's like writing, writing 101, but it's also like, oh, they really showed and not told. They did not tell.

We get it. We get it. And we didn't need any words. It was so efficient. Also very efficient. And he's about to leave when he is startled by a man in the woods who at first looks a little scary, but pretty quickly he's like funny and sweet.

This is Jerry. He's like a local. Looks a little vagranty. He's a little weird. He's drinking a big, like, glass jar of milk. Okay. But they have a nice little chat. It seems like Om likes this guy more than some of the other people we've seen him interact with.

They have a little moment. Oh, because Jerry has seen him, like, sprinkled ashes. And so they have, like, a little... He's nice to him. And he offers him some moonshine, which Oma accepts, and then asks him about the milk. And he says it's actually magic mushrooms, but I like the way that it tastes with milk. Oh, well, then that's normal. I was going to say, I respect that. I respect that. Now I feel less weird about the milk.

And Jerry's played by David Wilmot, Wilmot, who was in Station 11, Henley. He's like a red-headed Irish guy. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, I know exactly. Yeah, that's a perfect person to play. And I love him. He's also in season four of industry, and I just think he's incredible and just have to say. Shout out.

David Wilming. Love this guy. Agree. Fully agree. So we are back at the hotel that night at the hotel bar. Fiona is the bartender. So she's, she's so fucking cool. And she's Irish.

Irish lady bartender. Doesn't get cooler than that. Not afraid to be an asshole? Fiona. So he's telling her the ending of his book is like, so then he ends up like bashing the kids head in, but the bottle still doesn't break. And so he's just alone in the desert, like with no water. That's fucked up. That's brutal.

And Fiona is like, that's so bleak. who would read that. That sounds awful. I'm not reading these fucking books. But they're just chatting. They're having a nice little time. Also, this hotel is like so cute. I know spooky things are going to happen here, but he's like, oh, my God, this

fucking dump. Why would they come here for their honeymoon? I'm like, if I were in this like little Irish inn, I would be on Cloud 9, just light as a feather. It's absolutely floating. Which is welcome. Anyone welcome? Yeah. I'm also like it has a little like hotel bar like an old Irish in with a little hotel bar with a cool fucking bartender like excuse me. This is a dream come true. We need to go to Ireland. Except for the stuff that's bad. Well, except for the stuff that's bad. Yeah. I do. I really want to go. Let's buy a house in Ireland. To carque. To car. To car. I'm reading. The book I'm reading right now takes place in cork. I'm reading the Rachel incident right now, which takes place in cork. You mean kark?

Kark. Because they also say often Krak, Krak, Krak, Krak. Krak. Oh, there was a little crack joke. I think you just say crack. Krak? Krak. Krak. Krak.

There is a little joke about that when he's checking in, Mal's like, there's a little party down here later. It'll be like, good crack. Then we use that for fun. And he's like, okay, well, make sure my room is far away from the crack. Yeah. But yeah, it's a good word. Okay, I agree. Have a little crack.

which is I'm sure the exact way they say it. We did it right. The crack and cork. Cracking cork. Crack and cork. Crack and cork. But Oam's getting a little drunk. He's having a few whiskeys and he's sharing a little more about himself.

Obviously, they had talked about his parents because this is where they came for their honeymoon. And she asks, like, where are they now? And he says, well, his mom was killed. like six years after the honeymoon photo was taken. Oh, that's so sad. And, yeah, so Fiona's, you know, saying, I'm so sorry. What about your dad? And he says, well, my dad, like, after that happened, just, like, drank himself to an

early death and was, like, really horrible to me the whole rest of his life. And she asks, well, did they get the guy who, who did they get the guy who, who, who, did it who killed your mom when he says he was too young to try so he got he got away with it um obviously upsetting okay but immediately yeah immediately my brain is going in um a certain direction yeah i mean jena was like him does you mean him i literally didn't i did not catch it but yes he does we'll get there yeah okay okay that's where my brain went to where Jenna's bringing. Yeah.

Well, first I went to the dad. I was like, were they like 13 when they got pregnant? And then their honeymoon picture they got married, like, she was my mood. But then I was like, that doesn't math doesn't work. Okay, well, the next youngest person we're aware of would be him. Yeah. Damn. Yeah.

Damn it. It's nonstop for me. Happy Mother's Day to me, you motherfuckers. Yeah, I was going to say there is some mother stuff in this. Some mother's stuff. Maybe this will undo all the Happy Mother's Day. days, you know? Get you back to zero.

Yeah. Nice neutral state. Well, that's what was already happening. The amount of Mother's Days was so much that, I mean, I was going back down. It became negative, negative. It was like going up and then back down. Okay, okay. So now we're going to bring you back down.

We'll see. How Emily is this going to bring me back up? If you could keep, okay, if you could keep me abreast of how it's bringing me back up periodically, as Samud tells us this story, I would love for you to do so. Okay. We had some fun talking about kirk. Yeah, there could be some, I'll try to add some more Irish accents in to bring you back up. For the more of that.

To bring you back up. Have a little crack with you. If you guys don't, I swear to God, I'm going to fucking crack your corks. Just going to crack your corks. Oh, my God. You won't see it coming. I do not want my torque crack. Okay.

Okay, okay, I'm fine. I'm ready. I'm ready. So Oam asks Fiona, what's the deal with the honeymoon suite? I saw them locking it up earlier. Does anybody stay there anymore? And she kind of leans on the bar top and she says, no, because there's a witch in there. And says that the owner of the hotel captured a witch in there and won't let anybody in. And she's saying it playfully and saying she's been trying to get in, but Mal won't give her the key because she's curious. And he's saying like, why would you want to go in there if there's a witch in there? She's like, well, I want to see like what all the fuss is about. Because witches are good.

Because witches are good. Also, in what universe would that be anything you playfully talk about? If I told someone playfully, they captured a witch in there. They would think something's wrong with her. Is she okay? And she's like, she's, like, she doesn't believe that there's a witch in there, I think, is the. Yeah, she's having a bit of a long off. She's having a little, a bit of a crack, a croak and a crook.

And she pulls out a book of witch folklore. This is like a Gaelic Irish witch that we are going to eventually encounter and shows that One of the ways to protect yourself from these witches is to draw a chalk circle around yourself. I feel like we've heard this before. Maybe that's just with ants. Certainly. Certainly one or the other. And he says, if I'm seeing a witch, like I'm going to be calling a psychiatrist before I reach for a piece of chalk, thank you very much.

He doesn't believe it. Just then one of the Bell Boys comes up And his name is Alby I love Alby Sometimes you know an actor Just the second you see them You're like I love this guy Yeah

Never seen him before in anything but Alby's my guy All actors should be I love that feeling Yeah we should all get that feeling Yeah And Fiona calls him over It says Albi tell

Mr. Balman your your witch story when you saw the witch. And he's like, okay, he sets down his tray. He had been, like, busing some meal tray and sets that down on the counter next to Ome. And we are, like, seeing as he's describing one day as he walked past the honeymoon suite, he heard a noise, and he goes to investigate. It's this, it's like a, it's an elevator that takes you down to the honeymoon suite.

And so this like drop gate thing is like one of those like elevator, old-timey elevator things, but it's just locked permanently now. So he walks over to it. And behind the gate, it's just like you can't see anything. It's pitch black. But he takes out a lighter and sticks. his hand through the gate to look and see what is in here. And eventually we just see, still kind of in the distance, a woman's face appear from the darkness just looks like a disembodied head almost. All you see is her, like, smiling face. And he's so scared. He runs off.

And that's the story. Cut back to them all at the bar. Adam Scott. Ome says, Hocom. Doesn't believe it. And he's being really rude to Alby. Does he look straight to camera when he says Hocom? Hocum, the name of the movie. Does he wink? Hokem.

Hokem. Yes. Yes and yes. And then he goes, got him. Hoke him if you got him. Then Albie recognizes him or has heard through the grapevine. He's like, by the way, like, I know who you are. I'm a big fan of the Conquistador trilogy.

and I'm a writer too And I'd love it if you could like read some of my stuff And Ome is like, oh, is this a costume that you're wearing? And he's wearing his uniform from the hotel. He's like, no, no, this is my uniform. He's like, so you're not a writer. You're a bellboy. Whoa, that is so mean.

He's really mean. I can really see Adam Scott being this mean. Yeah, that is so mean. This is why he needed. Adam Scott to do this role is because he needed someone that you could love despite being so mean. Adam Scott really does pull it off. You are like, wow, what an asshole.

But I have a feeling that he's going to come around. Yeah. Like, I'm still going to root for you, but don't be so mean. But just wait because next he like grabs a spoon off the tray that Albie had sat down, sat down. And he puts it in like positioned atop a candle. So the spoon part is getting hotter. hotter as Alby's like kind of blabbing about riding and stuff. He's like, I think you would really like it. And like, he's clearly annoying om. But you are like, why is he getting his food really hot?

And sure enough, he eventually grabs it and presses it on Alby's hand. Alby recoils in pain. And he says, you're going to need thicker skin than that if you want to be a writer. Whoa. Jesus old. All right. Well, he was. Yeah. And that's also like, well, we, If you're such a writer, you don't know that that's a metaphor and we're not actually burning people through their skin. You're still going to hurt. You're still, skin's skin's skin physically. Hocom did not.

Ohm. Ohm. Ohm Bauman. Did you think his name was Hocum? For a second, yeah. Mr. Ohm, Hocom did not have a great childhood. Yeah.

Yeah. Probably he murdered his mom maybe accidentally. And then his dad wasn't so great. Maybe we should say killed. But he's traumatized for sure. I love to just be waiting to find out more about that. So please keep going. So he goes up to bed and leaves his tape recorder.

We hadn't seen a little tape recorder earlier. It's where he like records his ideas for his writing. And Fiona finds that he left it on the bar. So she goes up to bring it back to him, knocks on the door. He's not answering. And very quickly, she's like, she calls over Albi. She's like, let me into his room. And he's like, what?

He's probably asleep. I can't just let you into his room. She's like, I have a bad feeling. Let me, you need to open the door right now. And so Alby does. And Ome has hung himself in the hotel room. Fiona, like, grabs a little blade thing and is able to cut him down. We see like a vision.

turns like black and white and we see Oam going down the elevator into the honeymoon suite and there's like a jump scare of his mom when the elevator doors open something like that, something spooky and cut to him

waking up in a hospital bed. This is a few weeks later. He's released from the hospital and goes back to the to the hotel to pick up his things and Mal is there and is like, oh my gosh, oh, I'm like, how are you doing? Is there anything we can do for you? And he's like, I'm just here to get my stuff.

And he asks who found him, or maybe Mal just tells him, it was Fiona who found you. And it really fucked her up. And she's missing now. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. So, Mal tells Ome that there's an investigation underway. The police suspect Jerry because he's the last, he's the last person that she was seeing. Things are just going from bad to worse.

Is there anyone else in this town besides Jerry for you to point out? Come on. I know. Get a little more creative. But the groundskeeper. That's what the detectives need to be doing is getting creative. Think outside the box. Think outside of Jerry.

And Jerry's too sweet. He would never. We liked him in Station 11. We liked him in Station 11 and he would never do something like this. And he was definitely not bad in Station 11 and all ever. He didn't do one bad thing. So the groundskeeper, I don't know if I mentioned, the groundskeeper's name is Fergal. And Fergal saw Fiona talking to Jerry and that's the last anyone had seen of her.

And then in their digging, the detectives have found that Jerry is wanted for kids. killing his ex-wife and, like, disappeared 10 years ago from, like, a different... Well, Carrie and are not making us look great for time. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. A little more suspicious about Jerry. Um, asks, did anyone check the honeymoon suite? She had mentioned that she wanted to go up there and, like, see what was going on up there.

And Fergal is, like, it's locked. It's always locked. And he's like pressing him a bit like, yeah, but we should just to check everywhere. And he's like, there's no reason to check there. It is always locked. Like now you need to go home while you still look like your passport picture. Okay. Sick, freaking threat.

That's a really sick threat. That's so suspicious. Yeah, very suspicious. Gets all of his stuff, but he is, he's not planning on leaving. We want to poke around to see what we can find out. He feels, you know, like a little not responsible, but like he wants to help find Fiona. And so he goes out into the woods and finds where Jerry's car is parked. It's like a van.

And he sees in the back of the van, Fiona's witch book, folklore book. and he like closes the van door and jump scare Jerry's right there looking a little more sinister this time and um is startled but it's like Jerry you know everyone's looking for you they think you killed Fiona

he's like yeah I know I didn't do that and he's like they also said that you killed your ex-wife like they suspect you of that as well and he's like yeah I did Oh, Jerry, come on. And quickly, we learned that he, his wife was terminally ill and suffering.

Oh, my God. Well, now I have a different of me about Carrie. Oh, my. God. Fuck, I can not keep a treat. And he said he would do it again. And he has seen his wife in visions and knows that. And she thanked him for it.

And he will see her again on the other side one day. Oh, Jerry. I don't love me Jerry. We love Jerry. Oh, God, I love Jerry. So Oam's like, okay, so what do we do about Fiona? And he says, I don't know. I don't know where she is, but I know that she's dead.

And Ome says, what do you mean? How do you know that? Jerry says that he sometimes breaks into the hotel at nighttime. people leave medication there and they like keep it all in the back where people leave stuff behind and he raids the like medication closet complicated figure Jerry he's a very slings shotting back and forth and suspicions here so he's going and raiding the medicine cabinet when he hears a bell ringing and at the front desk each of the rooms has a call

bell that little jingle jingle bell and sees that it is the honeymoon sweet in the middle of the night. It could be the witch wanting a little snack. And jump scare pan down to Fiona's ghost pointing up at the bell. And so Jerry's like, I saw her ghost and so I know she's dead. Yikes. Yeah. And he does say that he thinks.

thinks the magic mushrooms are like helping him be open to seeing other worlds or whatever. He's like, he's like, this stuff is... Is that or the milk? Is that or the milk? They're putting crazy shit in cows these days. Yeah, that's true. That's true. But he's basically like, this stuff is real.

It just depends on if your mind is open enough to see it type of thing. How can you tell how open your mind is? Whether you're seeing a bunch of goats? Yeah. The hotel is closing down. for winter, I believe. So everyone is leaving, getting ready to leave that night. And Jerry tells O'm like, tonight we're going to break in and we're going to check the honeymoon suite. Uh-oh. So they wait till nightfall. They creep in. They get the key. Jerry gives the key to Ome and

then is like, I'm going to go get the crossbow just in case because the hotel has the crossbow for the goats. And as he goes back, Fergal is there and knocks Jerry out. And Ome hears it. Ome is in the lobby and hears the scuffle and kind of slinks into the shadows because it's completely dark and nighttime in there. So he's just hiding in a corner being completely silent. As Fergal grabs Jerry takes him out of the hotel. He's just like, I got you. I'm taking you to the police. Oh, no. So he puts Jerry into the back. Jerry's unconscious now too, I think.

And he throws him in the back of the van. But Ome has the keys and he stays. He stays hidden. And now he is alone in the hotel with the key to the honeymoon suite. And the witch. And he goes to the honeymoon suite, unlocks that gate, goes down the elevator, I mean, the thing is, if you're, if you're, um, you might not think you're going to find a witch,

but you can't imagine you're finding anything good. Yeah. You know? He wants some resolution or like confirmation about something about his childhood. Right. Right. Like, what are you going to find in this room? It's like they're keeping it locked.

I suppose you can imagine they're just delusional and are keeping it locked for no reason. But like that really feels like the least likely outcome here. here. Like at a minimum you're getting brain cancer from the mold that's in there. Like it's covered in black mold. Yeah, or it's like filled with bodies or it's like there's something bad. There's something bad. Right. I guess he's an author and he has to discover. He's looking for redemption. He wants to say Fiona. Yeah. But yeah, I agree. I mean, don't go in there alone. Don't go in there at night alone. But he kind of has a death wish, doesn't he? Yeah. Well, yeah. He's not really too concerned with anything else. Yeah.

So he goes in, looks around. There's lots of oddities and trinkets everywhere. Trinkets. The place is pretty nasty. It's in a state of disrepair. No one has been in there a long time. Wallpaper peeling and such. But it is like cute.

It does have like a little bit Madonna in vibes. Like in its heyday in its prime. There's a sorry, Emily, a four post for poster bed. That's okay. Sometimes they are creepy, but that's okay. I still love mine. Yeah, it has the sheer curtains down, so it's, uh, what's in there. Spooky, what's in there?

And the other spooky thing in the, in the bathroom, the bathtub is like filled with brown water. Oh, really gross. Like, it's been like leaking and, I don't know, rusty or I don't know, gross. Hate that. So he checks the whole place. There's Fiona's. not there. Nobody's there. And he sits down on the bed,

opens the curtains. No one's on the bed. Bed is empty. He pulls out a flask. He's just drinking. And I think just passes out on the bed. Oh, boy. Buddy. Then we get a dream slash flashback of him as about a six-year-old boy.

playing with his dad's gun. Oh, the gun. When it goes off and... Oh, that's not his fault. Oh, that sucks. And he's watching a very creepy rabbit man on the television while this happens. And it's done like stylized. Like they're kind of in like a void.

It's just like a black floaty space where you do. just see him and the TV and then his mom like stumbling over bleeding and like hugging him as she dies so sorry oh my god happy father's day to me I love I love that happened and avoid I love that you I feel so separated from it now and so relieved that we that no one in this country has guns or buys guns and guns are not an issue what's it that's that actually like never happens. I'm so relieved. Yeah.

This is completely impossible. And this never happens to anyone. I'm so relieved. Less lightly than the witch even. Ireland's a fictitious place. So that's also. Oh, thank God for Kark being a crook. Krik be in a crack.

Oh, bye. So he passes out in the bed. We see just for us, the creepy rabbit head poking through the curtains of the bed. Just for fun. of the bed, jump scare. There are quite a few jump scares in this, which I don't recall in the other movies.

So I kind of went into it being like, well, there won't be any jump scares, so that'll be fine. There was a lot. But you guys will get a peek at this rabbit when we watch the trailer, and I'm a fan. Okay.

He wakes up the next morning. Mal is in the, has found him, sees the flask next to him on the bed. And Mal's, like, worried about him. He obviously knows that this guy just attempted suicide. And does Mal believe that the witch is in the room? I guess not. He doesn't seem scared.

Okay, because it's like you did let the witch out probably. Right. But Mal is just, yeah. No, he's more just concerned. And he's like, okay, like, let's get you home. And he's like, what are you doing up here? Like, why do you, like, what's going on? And he's like, I just wanted to see if Fiona was in here.

And Mal's like looking at him, pitying at him. And he's like, okay, come on. Like, let's get you. Let's get you home. And Ome on the way out sees a dumbwaiter, like a closet door and is like, oh, I didn't. They had one of those in the, in the Victorian mansion in Los Angeles. It was a little nice to hit it. It is a little scary.

But it also was really fun because it was like, they, gave our breakfast to us in the morning in the dumbwaiter. You'd open it up and there'd be a breakfast turn. That is fun. But it is also a prime place for a spooky horror film. Scary thing to be. For a limb to be placed. Yes. And Ome just says, you know, oh, I didn't check the dumb waiter. I should

check that. And Mal is like, no, don't check that. So, uh-oh. Now Ome is like, well, I have to check it. And he opens it and it's like at the basement. like the dumb waiter's not there. And he's like, it just goes to the basement. There's nothing down there. There's no, it's been down there this whole time.

There's like no way that anything could be down there. Mow. Ome presses the call button. No. And Mal, I think immediately, like, kind of knocks him down, runs out of the room, and locks Ome in the honeymoon suite again and just leaves. Mal. dumb waiter comes up Mal

Fiona's dead body is in the dumb waiter In another creepy rabbit costume Because she went missing on Halloween She's in a costume She's in a rabbit costume Oh no Oh my god Did they like fucking feed her to the witch

Or did she I guess we're gonna find out But like Mal locking him back in there Is really upsetting me Unless he's like locking him in there so he can't tell. I don't know.

I don't know what Mal is thinking. I don't like it. Well, we get a flashback now to the Halloween party at the hotel. We see Fiona in this costume. So this is the night that it all happened. She's still shaken from the experience of having found Ome and cutting him down. And Mal, who we're now obviously know to be suspicious of, is like, here, I made you a cup of tea.

Or like, don't drink that, but she is not suspicious of him. She drinks the tea very quickly starts losing consciousness. And he carries her up into the honeymoon suite and locks her in there. It's fucking crazy that Rufis are a thing also. I know there's all sorts of crazy things that exist and drugs and whatever, but like, that's fucking crazy. that that's a real thing. I've also recently been like looking back over my like 20s and been thinking like I feel like I was roofied a couple times.

But like nothing happens a lot. I know. A lot. I know. I had a roofie put in my drink and I saw it. I saw like a fizzling pill at the bottom of my drink. It's so common. And it's happened to so many people I know.

I was like how it's crazy. It's never happened to me. And then I was thinking back and I was thinking, what about that time that you got so sick you had to get into a taxi have and go home immediately. What was that about? You know what I mean? It's like these moments we were like, I wasn't even thinking like I was like 23. Because it didn't. Well, nothing bad happened to me. Do you know what I mean? But it's like, but also like they're so fucking common. You have to be so careful. You have to be so fucking careful. Anyway, sorry. Yeah. Everybody stay vigilant out there. Stay fucking vigilant. But it's like a situation like this.

It's like, I know this person. Right. Yeah. But someone you know can also fucking roofie. I know most of the time it is someone, do you know. That's the other thing. Well, that's the case of fucking everything. I know. But actually what's cool is that this is completely fictional. This doesn't exist and it's not real. We're just having a crack and cork.

A great. So back to the present, Ome in the honeymoon suite with Fiona's corpse. He notices next to her is his tape recorder. And he plays a. it and we hear Fiona speaking and she says, you know, I'm stuck in here. I think I'm going to get out. Mal did this. I think I'm going to get out, but like I'm pretty scared. And just in case, like, if someone finds this, tell my parents I love them and tells the listener that she is pregnant with Mal's baby, but Mal is married to the owner of the hotel's daughter.

And Fiona's like, I told him, I would never tell anybody that, like, he didn't have to be involved at all. I just wanted to keep the baby. So that's Mal's motivation. One thing I will say, there's no fucking way Fiona would fuck this guy. I'll turn out, I guess. Fiona. You're cooler than this. Oh, yoy, yoy.

Also, I mean, it simply cannot be up to coat to have a hotel room that you can get 100% trapped in. Yeah, that's not. Oh, definitely not. Like, no windows, no other way out. Yeah, the windows are like, boarded up.

What about a fire? What about a fucking fire? Yeah, it's a fire hazard. Yeah. Fire violation. Yep. That's why I don't believe this movie. Fuck this movie. Yeah.

It would never happen. sense. A hotel wouldn't. Hokem. Cut to Jerry coming to in the back of the van. Jerry, almost forgot about Jerry. Being driven to the police station, but he

wakes up and he opens the back of the van. They're driving not a healthy clip down a country road, but he jumps right out. Cut back to Ome in the honeymoon suite. He's looking for a way out.

This is, yeah, I guess where we're seeing more of, like, the windows being locked. And I kind of think he doesn't try enough stuff, but there's not a lot of windows. And he does give him a little try. There's a moment somewhere that I'm now confused when it happened, but I'll just say it now, because it really freaked me out, where we see the dumb way to. and Fiona's body is gone. Ah. Hate that.

Hate that. And then eventually it like reappears. It's in a series of scary things happening, so I've lost the order, but I remember that moment being very scary. And just then the TV in the hotel turns on, and guess what show it is? It's the creepy rabbit show.

and it's talking basically straight to Ome. And it's saying, we've gather around kids, you know, like a little kids TV show, and there's all the kids around the very scary rabbit man, saying, we're going to answer some letters today. And our first letter is from Ome Bowman, like a seven-year-old boy who says, I, whatever, Mr. Rabbit, basically says, like, I accidentally hurt my mom and she's dead. I can't, I don't remember what it says. But then the rabbit man, like, says to all the kids in the audience, like, what dies, kids?

And all the kids go, everything. That's true. Everything does die. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. That's a circle of life. Circle of Life. It's really beautiful, okay?

It's beautiful. It's really beautiful. There's nothing sad about it. Back to Ome's letter. He says, my dad, now my dad hates me and I'm scared all the time. No. Oh, my God. No.

And then Mr. Rabbit looks to the camera and says just all the darkest, most, horrible things that o'm fears of like oh you're scared all the time well like you killed your dad's wife no wonder he hates you and you should be scared you did the worst thing you could have ever done and nobody's coming to save you which is like really escalates um TV turns off He's believing in witches a little bit more. He's looking pretty scared. By the way, this is why I'm scared to do ayahuasca. I'm afraid ayahuasca would be something like this.

I'm afraid something like this would happen to me. Yeah, just all your deepest fear is like manifested in front of you. Like in a children's program. Yeah, and I would feel like a child watching a children's program while it was happening. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

But just then he notices a map. like behind the TV. Thank God for a map. That says it's like a fire escape map and sees that there is a fire exit in the basement. Oh, wow, that's tricky. Real catch-22 there. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough.

That's tough. That's tough. So he goes to the dumb waiter where he has to take out a dead body out of it. where Fiona's body is. Yeah. And he has to slide his hands underneath her. Oh, no. Carry her out.

He sets her on a chair, like, facing the dumb waiter, which I'm like, I don't like that. I don't like that. Oh. Is she, like, injured? I mean, she's dead. She's, like, decomposing? We can't really see. She's, her face is scary.

Her face is, yeah, like, blue. Oh, you probably strangled. Yeah, maybe. Or did the witch killer? Or the witch, yeah. Or the witch. Hard to say. Right.

There's also a witch. This witch, quote unquote. I mean, I'll believe it when I see it, I guess. Same. Well, get ready. I'm about to see it. So he goes down into the basement. This stuff is all very tense.

You're like, oh, my God, oh, my God. I was really plugging my ears. And he gets down there. it's like stone hallways lit by like flickering candles, real nasty stuff. There's a lot of trinkets like dangling from the ceiling that are hung up. They look like fish hooks and like key chains and just like a random little witch trinkets. Only a witch would do that. He passes through.

It's almost like a little trinket curtain. Curtain, yeah. That seems like maybe don't pass the trinket curtain. We never really find out if the trinket curtain has anything to do with it. But that's just me personally. I think the trinket curtain was some sort of like, do not pass. Don't pass a trinket curtain. Good advice.

And he passes the trinket curtain. He's moving down these dark hallways. And now he listens to the next part of the tape recorder. Oh, no. Should have listened to this before you went down here. Because now we hear Fiona sounding absolutely terrified saying, I think there's someone down here. Someone down here with me.

Oh my God. No, no, no, no, no. And we see a little shadow move somewhere. Even in the most beautifully lit, safe, feeling, comfortable place, I'm not taking this opportunity to continue listening to the recordings of a dead woman. I wouldn't be like, oh, shoot,

let's play on that again. Let's see what else. Absolutely not. No. It probably won't matter, but it just It's important to know. It's good to say. I agree.

It just seems like a really scary choice. It's very scary. And then a lot of the lights go out down there. and he's here in footsteps and breathing and he sees a piece of chalk on the ground and boy does he snatch it up real quick. Hell yeah.

And he runs back toward the dumb waiter. He's trying to go back up and we see a little outline of a little witch. And she's kind of keeping her distance a little bit but she's definitely following him. A little one, how little? You know how old people just like get a little smaller again? Yeah.

She just looks like regular old person size. Okay, fine. She is following him. He gets into the dumb waiter. He's going back up. And as he gets out of the dumb waiter back into the honeymoon suite, he looks down the shaft. And just sees her crawling up this side. She's coming up.

He runs to the back. draws a big chalk circle all around the bed. Wait, first, sorry, before that, she gets in, and he's hiding from her in all different spots of the room. He runs through, there's like a window in the bathroom, and he jumps through that, lands in the nasty brown water bathtub. We knew that was going to happen. And it's a very scary, like, chase scene where we see,

you don't fully see her, but you're just seeing, like, shadow and a little hand, like grabbing and wiggling, door knobs and like trying to get him. And then eventually it ends up at the bed where he draws the big chalk circle. And he's in the middle of the bed. And we're just seeing her kind of circle the periphery. What does she look like? She's a little giggling.

She has kind of sharp teeth. I mean, we're not like getting too good of a look at her. But she just looks like a lady. Like an old lady. She's like a little lady with like a black dress on a black boots and like a pointy hat. Kind of classic witch stuff. Yeah. Okay.

All right. I just want to know what witches are wearing these days. I'm going to be up on which fashion. Yeah. Pointy teeth and small. Got it. And giggling. She's having, she's having a laugh.

She's having to laugh. Oh, see, I'm telling you 100% good. If you're laughing, you're good. If you're laughing, you're good. That is the truth. If you're having to crack. If you're having to crack, you're on cork, and you're good. So we cut away from that.

straight to the next morning. What the hell happened? Last night we see Mal coming back to the hotel. He finds the door open. There's like streaks of blood against some of the walls, like a bloody handprint on the front desk. Oh my God, what the hell happened? Did he get out of the room?

Did he fight the witch? Did he die? And we see it's Jerry has made his way back. to the hotel and he is pretty fucked up because he jumped out of the back of a moving van. Right. And he sees Mal and is like, have you seen Ome? Nope. I was here with him.

We were looking for Fiona and I think he might be in the honeymoon suite. Mal of course is like, no, Jerry. I found him yesterday. I sent him to the airport. He's on his way back to America. you don't need to worry about him. And then we see Oam waking up. This motherfucker fell asleep.

Oh, my God. Absolutely shocking. He's looking out the, he's like hearing a little something, the muffled talking. He's hearing Jerry and Mao. But, you know, he's, is the witch still in the room? He's peeking out. He's still in the circle. Doesn't see anything.

Steps out of the circle. No. He's looking around, nothing happens. All right. Seems like the witch is gone. The witch is nocturnal. I guess so. And then he sees out the window a car in the parking lot, which I think, well, I guess it doesn't make sense that it would be Jerry's car.

But whatever. He knows that Jerry is here somehow. And we see the honeymoon suite bell, like right behind Jerry and Mal where they're talking. talking and Ome gets the idea. I got to ring the honeymoon sweet bell just as Mal's like escorting Jerry out and is like, you'd go on home. It's not, he's not here. Ome doesn't know where the call bell is.

He's like looking all around and eventually finds it and presses it just as Jerry's like outside and doesn't hear it. He's. devastated, trying to call out to Jerry, but Jerry can't hear him. And then we see Jerry, who's like limping and going so slow. And then he turns around and comes back towards the hotel. Ome runs back to the call bell and he's just pushing it and pushing it. And he pushes it like, or it's like a pull thing, actually.

Sorry, it's like a toy that you pull a string to make it. say a phrase, it's like that. So he's pulling it and pulling it, and he pulls it so hard that he pulls it like all the way out. And it's like, fuck. And so he like starts smashing like a hole in the wall. And he's like reaching his hand into the wall, which I really don't like, fishing around for whatever he, wherever the call button is connected to. He's trying to do this while we're seeing back downstairs. Jerry is like, I forgot my car keys. I got to come grab my car keys. And he's all right. I got to go again. Goodbye. I'm walking away. And just at the last second, Oam finds the call bell within the wall, presses it. Jerry and Mal look at each other. And I don't remember what they do. I think Jerry like knocks, like knocks him, punches him and like,

steals the keys and runs upstairs to the honeymoon suite. So he's got a bit of a, like, a head start from Mel. And he goes into the honeymoon suite. We see, oh, I'm in there. There's like a locked, there's a front entrance and then there's like a second locked door. And so Jerry's like trying to figure out which he'd open this second door. And there's like a little mini door that he can't like, sorry, I can't totally remember what's happening in this scene, but they can see each other. There's like a small opening that he can't quite fit through that he's like, they're like communicating to each other through this hole. And he's like, he's like, try this key. And like, you're just trying to get it open. And he's like,

okay, I'm going to get you out of there. And saying like, Fiona's in here. Fiona's body was, she's dead. Mal killed her. He was like, oh my God. And he's like, I'm going to get you out of here. And of course, right as he's like about to open it, Mal comes in with the crossbow and kills Jerry. Crossbow to the head. Really, really tough. Jerry, we loved you. You were complicated. You had so many ups and downs.

I just want to say we were grateful for you, Jerry. We are grateful for you, Jerry. We love you. We love you. We love you, Jerry. We love you so much. We love you. You didn't deserve to die by Crossbow.

That's really tough. So before Mal fully enters the room, Om sees the keys. And again, I can't remember the fucking mechanics of how this happened, but somehow he locks both of them into the room. So he locks Mal and himself into the honeymoon suite. And he has the keys and he like goes and hides. And so right before Jerry arrived, we had seen Mal put something flammable on top of a heater that says like, don't put anything flammable on top of here, seeing that Mal had been planning to start a fire in the building, burn the hotel down.

And now the fire has started. When Mal did this, he was hoping to be out of this hotel by now. but oops, now he's locked in the honeymoon suite. And we see Ome go down to the basement. Sure. And I guess we don't really see him. We see Mal coming into the room and hearing something down in the basement. And he's just like desperately looking for the keys to be able to let himself out of the honeymoon suite to get out of the soon-to-be burning building.

and realizes that those keys are also down in the basement. So we're down in the basement. We see Oam kind of hiding in a corner somewhere, starting to draw a little chalk circle around himself. And just as he's about to finish the circle, we see the little witch face like going to. Grabbs him, cut away, cut back to Mal, who makes his way down and is passing the,

the little trinket curtain and sees the keys in the trinket curtain. Oh, no. And so he's like fiddling with it. They're like tied in there. I mean, I certainly don't think you can take things from the trinket curtain. He's trying to unhook it, but it's like tied in there pretty good. And of course, just as he gets it free, which is there, again, very like he and like slay. and like slams little shackles on his wrists and pulls him down the hallway.

And we see he's like being dragged and he's dragged past Ome, who we see also has the shackles on. But Ome's kind of out of it, like it has hit his head or something. And Ome is like further on the chain of shackles. So Mal is getting pulled first. And so we see Ome kind of coming to. and having a vision of his mom coming to him here and, like, waking him up and saying, like, you have to get up, you have to get up. And he is saying, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. It was an accident. And she says, I know, I know you have to get up. But you can't be here. You have to get up. And so he kind of comes to a little bit. that he still has the little saw that Fiona used to cut him down and he starts sawing at the chains, which are like pretty rickety, rusty old chains. So they do look, they look like the type

that you can saw through. And he is able to free himself. He grabs the keys. He's got him. He goes up that dumb waiter. But the building is in flames now. And he's still got a lot of step to do. You has to get out of this one door and then this metal door that is locked that he's like, it's hot and he's like trying to unlock. But writers have thick skin. Oh my God, exactly. And he does get it open finally and he opens the gate and is walking out into the hallway when he's, he passes out from smoke inhalation and collapses. We're like, oh, fuck, he's so close. Come on. Get up and just then we see fergal has come up to the hallways i'm presumably looking for jerry because jerry's car is outside and he's found that jerry's not there but he's calling out does

anybody here is anybody here and a woman's voice calls out which i think is supposed to be the mom and he finds ome and carries him to safety a mother's work is never done It is a Mother's Day film. So if Silas kills me tomorrow, I will still be overlooking his entire life, including when he's, like, abused by his father and then has to live through a horribly isolating life. And then I'll still be there when a witch tries to attack him. And also when he's going to die in a fire, I'll still be there. I will still be there. And that's why everyone's been saying Happy Mother's Day to you today.

You deserve it. You really deserve it. Man, moms. We are put through the ringer, I got to say. It is true, though, that it's, you do. I do just now only, I only obsess about my children to a degree that's like, dang, it really hits home, you know? Yeah. It hits home.

I am fucking obsessed with them. So, yeah, this is horrible. It's like horrific to think about. But it's okay. I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about having a crack and corks. Yeah. He didn't die only the mom died.

Yeah, so actually it's fine. The kid had a horrible child. He did. He did and he seems really unhappy. He had a really bad time. It's not a good ending for him. It's not done. It's not done.

We're not done. Okay. So just freaking hold your tongue because maybe it's about to get really good for him. Okay. So we are now back in the hospital once again. Ome is recovering. He's going to make it.

He's going to be okay. Alby comes to visit him. Cudy. Brings him a little gift, a little get well soon gift. And he confesses that he's like, I feel a little bit responsible for this because I put some of Jerry's magic mushroom powder in your flask, which we saw over the course of the film him drink everything in the flask. And he has a little moment of like, huh, because Jerry said that if people can only see it when the mind is open, I thought this was kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But yeah. Yeah, you don't need to do this in a movie.

And also like, what? This kid went into his flask? That's pretty weird. Yeah. To what end? And he's like, well, you burn me with a spoon. So I needed to get revenge. Oh, I see.

I see. It was to be mean. Yes. And he's like, I feel really guilty. Save my life. Jokes on you. And the gift that he's gotten him is a bottle of whiskey. Om declines it, says you keep it.

He's turning to be sober now. He's turning to be sober now. I mean, if this doesn't do it. Alby says, do you think you could read my script now? And he says, Alby, haven't I been through enough? But then he laughs and says, fine, I'll read it. That's very Adam Scott coded. Yeah.

Okay. Albi is delighted. We see Adam Scott pull up his manuscript and types out an ending now that we see back to the conquistador giving the child the bottle to smash on his head instead. and the child throws the bottle into the distance and hugs the conquistador. And that's the end of the book. And that's the end of the movie. Oh, so was a Happy Mother's Day movie. It was a Happy Mother's Day movie.

He got to rewrite his own childhood trauma. Wait, you guys, you know I actually have an Albi in this room. Oh, really? For you to see. Yeah. Is this what Albi looked like in the movie? Hold on. Let's see.

I can't wait to find that. Oh, it's coming off the wall. That was unexpected. I'm not kidding. Tim has had this for a long time and named him Alby, like when he was a kid. Some sort of haunted painting. Oh. Oh. He's just a little drawing of a little man. That is cute. His name is Albi. And he lives on our wall right over there. Cute. That's nice. That's exactly what he looked like, actually. I figured. Is it like a bell? He's in like a bell. Bellhop costume. Yeah, kind of. Wow. So, yeah, I think the book stuff is a little silly. A little silly. The witch stuff was even silly because the witch stuff didn't even really mean anything.

I want to know what the witch freaking did to him. What did? Oh, shit. Sorry, I did forget a part where she pulled, she did pull Mal into, we saw like the underworld. There's like a brief little moment where you see all the souls. Yeah, like, whoa. Okay, so it would have been bad. It would have been bad for, um, to go down there.

And the witch was like real, not like a magic mushroom manifestation. That's what I think. But they like threw a little question mark in there for fun, which I think we didn't need. Well, because also there was enough of the witch to believe in the witch, but also there wasn't that much of the witch. So then you're like, well, do I believe in the witch? And like to what end? You know, what purpose is the witch serving? Yeah.

Why is the witch even necessary? Well, again, it's a real Irish slash Gaelic folklore witch. So, but yeah, no, I hear you that. I mean, just because it's spooky. That it didn't really necessarily amount to. I thought a lot of fun. It's very fun and it is a very, like, scam. we watch.

But yeah, did not stick with me. And the desert stuff, it's funny also because in the beginning there's the like production or company cards. And one of them is like Abu Dhabi film fund or something. And I was like, oh, so they had to, and those scenes are filmed in Abu Dhabi, which I'm sure is why they did that. Yeah, sure. But it does feel quite like shoehorned into the, to the movie to me.

I don't think it needed it. But Abu Dhabi might have needed it. Abu Dhabi, I think, did want that. And I understand that sometimes you got to make... You gotta get the movie made. You gotta make the movie in whatever way you can. So they did what they had to do. And overall, I really enjoyed this movie.

And I love Irish accents. And I'm realizing now, I totally forgot to really do them. Oh, no. But we had some crack. We had some crick. We had a bit to crack in cork. And kark. And kark.

Kark, Kark, Krik. Kerk, 3.30. To train and two 30. Oh, shout out to all our Irish listeners. We know it's a real place. We know it's real and we know that it's real because we are experts at it, both in your culture and access. It's not like Nantucket. It's not like Nantucket.

It's not like Nantucket. Which is not real. And just a place you read about books. We know the difference between real places and fake places. Just a place you see in Brandy Melville packaging, tween blogs, and in books. Correct. Otherwise, it doesn't exist. Exactly.

Okay, well, how do you say goodbye in Gaelic? I don't know. And even if I looked it up, I still wouldn't know because that's the whole thing that the language is like. Not how we pronounce things. That's the whole thing. That's the whole thing. Irish is a Gaelic language, but the language of Ireland is Irish, and I'm sure additional languages as well. But it's like, you know, like Sir Sharonin.

The pronunciations are not intuitive for us English speakers. So I could look it up, but I would still fuck it up. So I'm not going to. Donal, right? Donal. Donnell. Correct. Donal.

Donal. Donal Gleason. Yeah. Donal. Sertia. Sersha. Sertia. Sersha.

Sersha Ronan. Oh, so from all of us here at Too Scary didn't watch. Oh, so. Oh, so. Didn't you know? Oh, so. Oh, so. The flowers in the garden.

The flowers in the garden. The flowers in the garden. Oh, so. Oh, so from all of us here. Arro. It's not I have war Doing our war

In an Irish accent Oh so goodbye Cheers Cheers Oh that's British too But they say it both places Yeah I think they said it everywhere We didn't

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Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes, a little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.