Too Scary; Didn't Watch - IRISH WISH (Vault Release)

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

We're taking another week off BUT we're also leaving you with an early Saint Patrick's Day gift! We love you!Recap starts @ 18:42TrailerShop my favorite bras and underwear at http://www.skims.com/tooscary  #skimspartnerFollow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy. And you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch. Bonus episode number two for the month of March. Wow. This is very exciting.

I'm very excited to be here. I'm very excited for what we're about to do. Also, this is a video episode for our Patreon, Tony Bucking Kletz, Inner Circle and Above and Above. and just FYI, we're recording this out of time when the lighting in my office is incredibly dramatic and there's nothing I can do about it. There's nowhere else I can go.

So it will become less dramatic in time, but I'm not used to people seeing it. Yeah, and there's like really, if I open the blinds, it's like really bright. If I close the blinds, it still comes through the little holes and that somehow worse. There's no way around it.

If you're listening to this, you're like, what the fuck you should talk about? It's kind of beautiful. It's like you're shimmering. It's like I'm Edward, Cullen. This is a skin of a killer. It looks like she's an Irish, Irish fairy. The skin of a killer, but I, oh, I should have worn a little head, like a, anyway, we'll get into it.

What makes you, what makes you bring that up, Penn? Why on earth would you be bringing that up for this episode? Did you guys not notice that I made my room Irish themed? It is incredibly Irish themed. I guess I did too. Oh my gosh. I did it on purpose just for this episode. I'm coming to us straight from the cliffs of Moore.

Yeah, you are. And guys, I'm drinking a Guinness. Hell, yeah. I knew she was saving it for the big reveal, whatever her drink was. And she's got green nails for March, you know, March the Irishest month of the year. The Irishest month. The Irishest month. Cheers to that.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Too tarty. Too tarty. What a treat. Oh, man. I cannot wait to talk about.

this month's bonus recap movie is I think it's my favorite movie. Me too. It's my favorite movie ever. I think it's get out of there, Matrix. Yeah, who cares? I'm no longer saying forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yeah, get out of here, Sarah Marshall. Get out of here, the Matrix.

Can I get out of here? Madington too. Maddenton to. Who cares? Never heard of you. Kick him to the curb. Literally never heard of it. of you because now I've heard of Irish Wish. Irish Wish is in town. Irish Wish is here.

Irish Wish is here in the Irishest month of the year and it's our favorite. Rolls off the tongue, Irish Wish. Irish Wish. Irish Wish. I've got some stats about Irish Wish. Thank God. Irish Wish. Irish Wish. Well, first I want to say that I tried to put on the ugliest outfit I could find. Okay, I was thinking that. This is the only green I have and I was like, I'm either going to wear green or the ugliest thing I can possibly. I tried. I used this outfit that's, again, if you're listening,

you won't be able to see. But I do have a background of Lindsay Lohan and Ed Spielers. And Lindsay Lohan is wearing a very colorful plaid dress and a cropped jean jacket. It's like they did make this movie in the year 2023. And yet somehow they also just, Her little boots too, her little like It's deeply on. It's flattering.

Yes, they make her legs look two inches long. Like a below the knee dress with an above the ankle boot is like, well, what are we doing? What do we call this? Would we call this chuggy? I'm still trying to figure out. Yes. I think we would call it like. Or is it more pumpkin spice lattee?

But pumpkin, there's a Venn diagram. It's wherever the Venn diagram of pumpkin spice, chugi and Mormon meat. Yeah. It's that. Well, I put on a colorful top. I like a pumpkin spice lot of time. Don't get me wrong. But, you know, anyway. I mean, don't we all? No, we all. But I just don't like these outfits. But I put this on and sorry, it looks, it looks great on me. So I didn't even notice. I didn't even notice. That's the canvas baby. What are you supposed to do about it? And I'm not wearing. It's not a dress. I have on jeans. So it looks pretty normal. But I do want to. Man, oh, man. occasionally quote the article that Sammy sent us originally, which is the whole way this started was that Sammy read this article on Vulture and sent it to us. And I was like, this sounds like a movie I need to see. Yeah. And the author, Rachel Handler, absolutely destroys this movie over and over and over again in the most devastating, like, unbelievably verbose way I've ever scene. And she says about Lindsay Lohan's character, exclusively wears one dress,

apparently available in a variety of fabrics and prints with a suspiciously high neckline and below the knee hemline that hints at the lurking specter of traditional family values. That's so true. And that's consistent throughout. The title of the article, by the way, is Irish Wish is a crypto-fascist AI-generated harbinger of doom. So it made us decide we had to do it for the podcast because we're like, maybe this is a, maybe this is a horror movie. And there's, there's elements.

There's an argument. But I gotta say, I mean, I want to hear the stats. We're going to get into it. But I had the time of my life. Me too. I loved it. This is going to be a annual rewatch for sure. I've already watched it twice.

I loved it. It is chock full of incredible moments. There were so, I laughed so much. Oh my God, I loved it. I cannot wait to talk about it with you guys. I had I had so much fun. I had so much fun and it's like sometimes a bad movie is like fun kind of like I'll say Lohan's Christmas movie. It was like it was bad. We had some fun. I'll never put it on again. This movie. God, I loved this movie. An instant classic. Instant classic. Instant classic. I agree completely. I'm so glad. I'm so glad to hear it. Okay. Let me understand. Okay, this was, I have to say the name of the movie every single time. Irish Wish was directed by Janine Damien and written by Kristen, Kirsten Hansen, excuse me, same team behind the Christmas movie falling for Christmas. Got it. Okay. Well, they really ramped it up for this one. They know what they're doing.

Starring, obviously, Lindsay Lohan, Ed Spielers, Alexander Vallejos, Elizabeth Tan, and Jane Seymour, streaming on Netflix. but I feel like did we talk about we didn't talk about falling for Christmas but we talked about another Christmas movies.

People wanted us to talk about falling for Christmas but it just wasn't as fun as this one. Again, there are moments. There are moments.

But this to me, I think it's partially that like, man, I don't know what it is. It's a lot of things. This is like Lindsay in her fucking wheelhouse.

I mean, I do want her to get better. She's a good actress and she's like coming back to form and I'm so thrilled to see. it. But this like suited her better than falling for Christmas. The chemistry was better even though it was like deeply G-rated. Yes. I actually like, there are moments where I was like, these people really want to fuck.

And I know. And I did not feel that at all with George. Ed Spielers is hot. Eds, I liked him. I thought he was great. Like he has. He's in downtown abbey. He's a fucking good actor. I think he's also an outlander. I haven't seen either of those. but I he's good and hot. And they had chemistry. That's why that's I think single-mandedly why the movie works. It does help a lot. It helps because of them.

And then also the sweeping views at the Cliffs of Moore, like the street. It's gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Completely emptying out another soul inside at this tourist trap. Okay, we have to get into it. We have to get into it. We've got a 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, 46% on Metacritic and a 5.2 on IMDB.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. All too low. Across the board, wrong. There were a few low hands involved in this movie. I guess her brother acted in it as one of the... Was he the red-headed? Yes, he was the red-headed guy. Truly the only other person with red hair.

Yeah. In an Irish movie. Oh, that's a great point. Nobody in this movie is Irish. That's so funny. Not a one. Actually, Lindsay Lohan is probably the most Irish person in this. She is half Irish on her father's side.

But we've got a lot of Welsh actors. We've got English actors. A little less adjacent, but approximate. Also, God, the accents in this movie. Oh, my God, the accents on this movie. They're so funny. I love this movie. This movie.

Did it do well on Netflix? did people watch it? I mean, they must have, right? Who doesn't watch Lohan? Like, I think it must have done well.

I have no idea. I have no idea. Damn it. I really hope so. I really, I hope someday we get to see her in like a movie theater, big budget release movie again,

or not even big budget, but just like a, like a movie. I would love to see her do take just one swing in a kind of Kristen Stewart sense because, I saw Love Lies Bleeding last night So it's top of mind for me

But I feel like Lindsay Lohan I think she was in Kind of a weirder movie I can't remember if it was under the Silver Lake Or something like that Some sort of Brett Easton Ellis movie And I heard she was very good and I didn't see it She's such a good actor man

I'd like to see her get a little weird I know I wonder because I do think she's like A traditional family values kind of gal now But Is that a thing with her? Is that like a thing we know about her that she's a traditional family values gal?

I get the sense that that and I could be completely wrong but I get the sense that like her sort of coming back to like mental health and getting her life on track in a way is perhaps related to some you know

specific religion. Conservative. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. I also feel like I don't know that for sure. All the women who were coming up in the early 2000s and faced so much like sexism and harassment and

like I can see how they would not want to ever do anything risque ever again. Yeah, I think she's probably really like redefining. She's writing her own story to quote. Maddie when I really fuck her last name. Is she doing the freaky Friday sequel happening? Is that actually happening or is it an internet thing? Whispers, but I have not heard if it was confirmed or not. Okay. I don't know. I just, I am, I'm also just like really, I'm like, it makes me so happy to just see her doing well.

Like it's really, it's one of the few that, that will get to be completely honest. Like, it's just really, it's just really important. The parent trap with Lindsay Lohan is maybe one of my most watched movies of all time. I used to watch it constantly as a kid. And she kills it. She has to play two drastically different characters. One of them's British. How does she even pull it off? It's very impressive. She's so good. Did you guys see Mean Girls the musical, by the way? No, but I want to. That's going to be an at home and at home watch. I'm curious. It wasn't a rush to the theater for me, but I will watch it when it's streaming.

Yeah, I just, her character in this reminded me so much of Katie and Mean Girls. It felt like they were the same person, which to me, it's fine. It's like, put that character in any movie and it's fine. It works. It's a great heroine for like this kind of arc. It's like, oh my gosh, I found my voice and now I'm strong. It's like I'll never get over that. There's something like, throw in a hot guy and it's like, excuse me. Her like breathy delivery of like, hi, I'm just me.

Like, what do you mean? I love her voice. It's so convincing. I love her voice. Convinced. Yeah. Okay. I think we just simply have to get into it because this is going to be an

unbelievably long episode because I have a lot to say. Okay. Wait, I have a question. Should we watch the trailer before we get into it? I mean, because, yeah. I want, let's wait, should we just watch the movie? Should we just watch the movie? Should we just be a watch long? Okay, let's watch the trailer. Yeah, let's do it. What brings you to Ireland? A wedding. Well, congratulations. Oh, no, it's, it's not mine. It's my friends. I can't believe Paul and Emma are getting married. You balance me out, Madeline. We do make a great team.

We do. Hi, Mom. I can't help but think that things would be different if I had told Paul how I felt. You're going to start speaking up yourself. Too late now. I wish I was marrying Paul Kennedy. What the? I've seen Paul.

I haven't seen him anywhere. How did he get in there? What is wrong? I am not the one who's getting married. She is. Exactly. You, my friend, are marrying Paul Kennedy. Yes! Come on. Hello.

It's you. How'd you get the ring on your finger? You got down on your knee, and you proposed to me. I proposed? I mean, yes, of course. Yes, I proposed. My publicist said that we should get some PR pictures and some idyllic Irish backdrops. You think it'll help boost my sales figures?

So not just a wedding, but a good PR event, too. Yeah, exactly. If you're going to spend the day with us tomorrow, can you leave your snark at home? I'll do my best. Hey, you're pretty good. I'd love to get married up here. Why, don't you? I'd hardly call having a voice at your own wedding being difficult, would you?

Is it everything you imagine? I know this might sound strange, but I'm not sure this is supposed to be my life. Now is the time to speak up. Scene. I was smiling. so big and I feel like I didn't blink enough that now my eyes are watering. I'm not crying. I just like didn't want to blink. It was the time of my life. That was such a good trailer. That was honestly such a good trailer. Oh, I love it. I really do love it. I do, I do, I did forget,

I wanted to say I have a friend who worked on the marketing for this movie, not the trailer, but other departments of marketing. And she did not watch the movie. Tell her she's making a huge mistake. I hadn't watched it yet, but I had told her that we were doing it and I'm going to fill her in that. It's incredible. It's incredible. I will say that trailer did make me yearn for like the good movie rom-com version of this movie

because that trailer made it look like it could actually be like a really good movie. Like it's like such a straightforward premise. And it is, I mean, don't get me wrong, it is an incredible movie. But it is not a good movie. And I do love a good rom-com, like so much. That's so special. And Lindsay's capable of it. I think this story is capable of it.

That hot guy is capable of it. He was doing it. He was really doing it. I think the other actors are less capable. I agree. The script was less capable. The two friends particularly were. terrible. Wow. Bad, bad, bad. And Paul. And Paul also terrible. It's so crazy how there could have just been like some minor tweaks and it would have been actually in the realm of like a my best friend's wedding. Let's shoot it again. Shoot it again. Seriously though. There are just a few things. It's like, I know his book. Okay. I know we need to get into it. But his book premiere to have there be a step and repeat to have there be paparazzi to have it be like that. It's like having him described as a famous person. Well, Paul's a famous person. It's like lit.

Like, who recognizes authors by face out in the world? Like, he's a celebrity. Sorry, authors, you're important, but that isn't how it is, is it? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I love this movie. Hells are we so much. That just reminded me, Henley, I meant to tell you they are doing Nancy Myers week at the Aero Theater. Oh, I think they're just playing all Nancy.

Myers movies, so. Count me and I'm flying in just for that experience. Arrow theater is too far, even for me. Where is Arrow Theater? I've never even heard of it. Santa Monica. Oh, yeah, I ain't going to do that. No.

I'll do it at home. Yeah. We can do it at home. We can always have it be a Nancy Myers movie time. Okay. Oh, my God. I mean, let's just do it. Let's do it.

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Yes, that's true. But he is really rich and he like steps out of the car like, oh my God, I'm so hot. And everyone's like, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul. And taking his picture and there's flashing lights everywhere. Who do, who's the most famous author? I, it's J.K. Rowling. I was just thinking as I like, as I said it, I was like, oh, fuck. It's someone bad. Who's the male equivalent? Is it like Tom Clancy or John Grisham? But I don't even know who it looked like. Even them. Do you think that there's like paparazzi at any of their events? No. And there's no paparazzi for J.K. Rowling either. I feel like there is but in like a bad way. Yeah. I don't, it's not a world that that exists. No. Which is fine. I, I literally worked in book publicity.

That was my first job. And I never witnessed anything remotely like this. No. No. Ever. Ever. I think the only thing would be is if it were the movie premiere of your book. Which, again, no one would give a shit about the author. Like, even if it was the movie premiere of your book, people only care about, like, the actors who are in it. Yeah, they don't care about the writer of the movie. No. They don't care about the writer of the book of the, no. They don't care.

Especially it's like a romance novel. Like, it's, you know, it's like. Do you even know what Stephanie Meyer looks like? No. Yeah. But I don't think that. normal. Yeah, so this is this big book premiere.

The author, his name is Paul. Lindsay has name is Maddie. She's his editor. Paul Kennedy. Paul Kennedy. God, it's the first time I thought about that his last name is Kennedy. That is so funny.

I feel like they say Paul Kennedy anytime they refer to him. But in my mind, I was like, Paul Kennedy, but I wasn't like Kennedy. Oh, Kennedy. That's very funny. It's clear that that Lindsay Lohan's very end to him. He, like, is being interviewed about his book.

And he says, none of it would, oh, he's Irish. None of it would be possible without my amazed, this amazing woman right here. And she's like, me. And he says, I want to talk to you later. Remind me, I want to, there's something I want to talk to you about. And she's like, oh, my God, he's going to tell me he's in love with me. Wait, don't forget, Emily, about the scarf part. Sorry.

She does lose her scarf at a cab door. I did forget about the scarf. A scarf that is, has nothing to do with the scarf. black dress that she's wearing. It's like this, thank God the scarf went away. Like what the fuck was that scarf doing with her dress? It was so quickly could have been a horror movie because the way that scarf was removed from her neck was like that's a decapitation right there.

It gets, yes, caught in the taxi cab door. And as it flies away with the car, she goes, wait, that's my scarf. As if like the cab like stole her scarf as if it was an intentional act. A car driving away with all the doors and windows closed, we'll hear. that. No. No, no, no. She loses her scarf. She gets a phone call

from her mom, which she answers. Her mom, played by Jane Seymour inexplicably, doing an American accent terribly. I don't know what the fuck she's doing. Does she have an accent? I don't know what it is, correct? She is British.

She is British. She's located in Iowa in this movie. There's no explanation. I think she's just tamping down her British accent, but there's still an accent present. There's like an affectation. It's strange. I wrote down every accent in this movie is how we do accents. At the time we do an accent.

Just like kind of all of them blended together. Yeah. We did ADR on this movie. It was us. Yeah. We'll really alert. That's why we want to talk about it. I'm killed to do ADR on this movie.

No. So yeah, Maddie's mom calls her she answers, puts her on speakerphone in the bathroom while she proceeds to talk about how she's secretly in love with Paul. I'm so sorry, but I even have to step by step a little bit further. I was trying to moments along, but why? Why? Her mom is shopping for toilet paper online and it's like presented as it's the tonally so strange.

Like I think it's supposed to be an endearing character moment, but it's just very weird. And Lindsay Lohan's like, mom, TMI, shopping for toilet paper again. What? It's so bizarre. Get it together. I just was immediately put into a weird space. Like, what a strange way to introduce a character. Yeah. And it doesn't have anything to do with anything else. No. No. That's kind of the through line for this whole movie is a lot of things that basically have nothing to do with anything else. That's how, that's why it like feels AI generated. because it has the smell of an interesting character moment to introduce someone,

but there's actually no substance there, and it's unclear how I'm supposed to feel about this. I was telling Joel, it feels like this whole movie is like floating on top of a movie. Like, it's like there, like, I kept getting the feeling of like, when are we going to land? We're just sort of like hovering over a movie the whole time. I've never experienced anything like it. It was a really, really specific.

We were flying the whole time. We were flying. We are approximately 45 seconds in. And 27 minutes into the podcast. Absolutely perfect. But yeah, Paul pulls Maddie aside to talk and turns out, oh my gosh, it's just he wants to work on their next book together. she's humiliated,

but doesn't have time to deal with it. And then we go to Paul's book reading where he's that's part of the event as well. The premiere is that he's also reading from his book. And I laughed so hard. This is like a romance novel, right? This is like a novel, you know?

And we, he's reading and then he goes, he finishes a little part and looks at the audience. Absolutely eye fucking Maddie's friend Emma, who is inexplicably British and just so they're having a moment but

he stops and he looks to the audience he finishes a little moment and he goes chapter eight and I'm like we've been reading seven full chapters

of this book how long is this reading? That's crazy. This book by the way called two Irish hearts also rolls off the tongue two Irish hearts

an Irish wish for Irish hearts. Oh, God. I also loved when she's talking to her mom. She says very loudly, I hope you haven't told anybody about my feelings for him. So fun.

On speakerphone. Real good. For an event of Paul's. So it's clear that he's, that him and Emma are having more sparks flying than him and Maddie. Oh, when at the after the,

and there's a little meat cute here. that's really important to talk about, which is that Emma's false eyelashes are falling off. And Paul, does he say, like, let me see if I can do it? Yeah, he's like, let me help like that. Let me just, let me just see what I can do. Because Paul's defining character trait is he likes makeup and skincare. Oh.

I think. I mean, yeah. because in this moment he nails it and he gets that eyelash on immediately. Which like, and false eyelashes are an impossible task. Really, really, really hard. So they're meant to be. They're meant to be. They do have a moment where they're after the book reading, this recap is going to take four hours.

Emma is like talking to Ponce. Like, wow, he asks how they all know each other. And there's also another friend there named Heather who is just like doesn't need to exist at all. No, no. And he says, how do you all know each other? and they said, oh, we're friends from school. And Emma goes, I was always a big reader. And Maddie goes, that was me.

There's no room for two readers in this group. Also, these three women feel like they don't know each other at all. Nobody in this movie knows each other at all. Not a single person in this movie has met. They almost never have a conversation just the three of them alone. No, there's no friendship. There's no visible friendship happening between. Not at all.

They're just in the same places. Three women of a similar age in the same room. Yep. So back in the cab, three women of a similar age, taking a cab home together. And Emma's like, oh, my God, Paul and I were really connecting. He wrote his number. He sent my book and he wrote his number.

And Manica says, oh, it's just a number. it's not like it's a proposal. Flash forward one year later. The calendar pages are flying off. And oh my God, we're at the airport in Ireland for Emma and Paul's wedding. I got to say, I do love the efficiency of that, though. I do love the efficiency.

This is a 90-minute movie. I liked it as well. This will be way more than 90 minutes, but the movie is 90 minutes. And it absolutely flies by. The movie is 90 minutes, but I could talk about it the rest of my life.

Easily. Can? Easily. I hope there's not a day of my life that goes by when I don't have a reason to bring up Irish Wish. I hope they, I really do hope they played in theaters one day. I hope this becomes like a Rocky Horror Picture Show. Next March, showed in theaters.

Yeah. We could rent a theater. Oh my God, we're doing it. We need to do that. Yeah, we're doing it. Okay. Should that be a live show? Should we have an annual live show?

Where we do an Irish show. We're just doing over and over and over again. Just a tour where we go city to city and do Irish wish over and over and over. To dwindling audiences, like less and less people coming every time, but we never stop. Our premiere show. No, we've done other live shows, I guess. But this will be our first tour. We'll have a step and repeat at this show.

We absolutely have a step and repeat. And we'll hire paparazzi. Yeah, that's a perfect idea. I can't wait. So is this where she meets the way hotter guy? Yeah, that's where she means James. She has glasses on so we know she's kind of a mess. I really was trying to pay attention to the consistency of the glasses.

I was like, when are the glasses on? When are they off? And I couldn't track it. Yeah, there's no three line there. There's no rhyme or reason to it. But she is, everyone's got their bags already at the carousel. And Maddie can't find her because Maddie is a mess. and they all decide that they're going to leave her while she waits for her bag.

She thinks she sees her bag. She goes to grab it. A hot guy grabs it at the same time. And they have a real fight over whose bag it is and the bag flies open. And lo and behold, it's his bag. We have a really funny slapstick one where she says, see, it's my bag. This is my favorite plaid skirt and it's plaid boxer shorts. My favorite plaid skirt.

Look, it's my favorite plaid skirt. Also, the way the suitcase bursts open is, I feel like impossible because most suitcases are joined with a zipper and this pops open completely in a way that- Like a jack in the box. Yeah. It just is not how- Pop open and throw things out of it. Exactly. Which this one-

Probably was. It was, yeah. This one was. This one was. But no, it's not how suitcases work. But immediately we're like, this guy's hot. Wait, I need to tell you guys something real quick, which I did have this happen to me, actually.

So when I... Traveled abroad in Barcelona. I got a bag from Target before I left, put way too much shit in it. It was like the cheapest, shittiest bag. I was like landed in Barcelona. I'm alone for the first time traveling in Europe by myself, feeling very vulnerable. Watch my bag like go down the ramp and hit the side. And the zipper actually completely broke open.

Okay. I stay corrected. It's possible. And all my like underwear fell out because you know how you like stuff your underwear in at the end. Henley, that's awful. That's like, would you rather have that happen or fall on your face in public? That's like they're comparable, right? Well, I would rather have that happen because I literally just, I acted like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I was like, oh, this again. Of course. My underwear is everywhere. Of course it is. Of course it is. Shabbing it back in the back, putting it in my backpack, putting in my bag. backpack trying to keep the back. Oh, this again. We all know how this goes. You're not the drill. Oh, I have so much sympathy for that girl. I feel bad for her now. But at the time, I was like an everyday

experience. It's just I'm a woman out in the world. This happens to women out in the world. I feel like I might have gone the route of, oh, whose bag is that? I think you pretend it wasn't a loser. Wait till everyone leaves and then like quietly go to your back. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, that's tough. Okay.

Anyway, just have to defend the AI that wrote this film. Maybe they were taking a cue from my own personal life. Yeah. So then they take a bus, which inexplicably goes to the exact location that she's said it to. The bus driver if he will. She has to take a, all her friends leave her.

And she's like, it's fine. I'll take a cab because I have to like fill out paperwork to get my because her bag is lost. She's like I have to fill up paperwork to get my bag. Um, and they all leave her. And so she tries to call a cab. Oh, no Uber's. So she finds a bus. And she says, excuse me, can you go to this, this direct address? Not like, where do you stop? Is it near? It's like, can you take me here. And he says, oh, yeah, I can't. I can't. I was in Irish. In Ireland, we do that. In Ireland, we do that. This guy actually might have been Irish. I feel like this was one person that I felt. And could be Irish.

But yeah, he says, yeah, I'll drop you off to your specific address. Fuck this whole bus. Let of people. James also is British and doing a British accent. And that's his character. He's not like trying to do an Irish accent. So he has a pretty consistent accent. Yeah, because it is throughout the movie.

His accent. I'll also say like Lindsay's accent, pretty consistent because of service. Yep. Yep. But the list ends there. So who would you imagine is on that bus as well? But the hot guy. whose name is James.

Mm-hmm. They sit right next to each other. He sees her. Obviously, she's carrying the Paul Kennedy book front and center, so everyone can see it. It needs to be out and about. And he makes some kind of comment about it. Like, you're reading that?

What does he say? He's just clearly not a fan. He just, like, really hates Paul Kennedy in a way that I was like, oh, they know each other. Like, that felt like the vibe. Yes. Of the movie that I was like, oh, they grew up together. This is going to be like a review.

because again like that feels like a rom-com trope right there's like a thing like he really like on a personal level hated and acted like he knew paul kennedy but wait that's like such a good but he doesn't doesn't a good like good evidence of it being a movie floating on top of a movie because i put that i i made that the backstory in my brain and only you now saying it made me realize no they never because they meet later and it's like nice to meet you like it's so right he's like Oh, Paul, because she says something about like, oh, Paul's like a bestselling author or whatever. And he's like, yeah, I must be.

Like, he like, is like, what are you? His friend. Like, he really acts like someone who's been, like, personally wrong by Paul Kennedy. 100%. And I, like, truly, truly put that on the movie. And you are absolutely correct that that is not, that is not in the text.

But that's the vibe. Very eye-roly to Paul Kennedy. And, you know, she starts defending Paul Kennedy. He's a best-selling author. And I, and he's, and he's, She says, oh, what are you his friend? They're like, next stop, Paul Kennedy's house for you, the woman up in the front row. And he says, oh, of course.

And she gets off the bus and as she's standing outside the bus, she's, it's just so you know, I happen to be Paul Kennedy's editor. And so you can go and the bus doors shut up. Very G-rated. Yeah, G-rated. And the bus drives away. Okay, but this was actually the moment that I laughed the hardest in the movie because I didn't, you know, understand the layout of the roads.

And so she gets off the bus and then steps directly in front of the bus and stands there for a while. And I'm thinking this bus needs to drive forward, but it reverses. And so it was fine. But it just looked so silly. She just like, the way that cars normally move is forward. And so she just goes, like straight in front of that. us and it really made me laugh. But she was right because they blocked the scene and she knew that it was going to the right.

She was following her mark. And she shows about Paul Kennedy's house and it's a big, gorgeous, huge old mansion house. A state. Very downtown abbey looking, yes, an estate. Emma is saying to Paul's mom, oh, this China is divine. Yes. And she's and they're going, you have very good taste.

I think, again, I think being British. I don't think anybody's being Irish, except for Paul. But Paul's brother, Corey comes out, holding firewood, like, close to his chest. Like, it's just crazy. Why is he holding his own firewood? They have a servant who they refer to

every now and again, who's never pictured on screen, but clearly exists. But he comes out. He brings Maddie in. She almost breaks a vase because Maddie is just... A clutz.

Not get it together. together. Um, and I think it's just clear she's like really having a bad time. She goes to her room. And she's like looking or she's a picture of Emma and Paul and is very sad about it. And her, you know, extraneous friend Heather comes in and is like, hey, you've been seeming really down lately. You haven't dated at all since you stopped writing since like a year ago when the book came out. Um, let's have a girls night tonight. We haven't had a girls in a really long time. say yes. And she's like, okay, yes.

We never see the girls night. Yeah, that's so weird. It never happens. Very weird. We never go to girls night. No. We just know that it's supposed to happen. Mm-hmm.

Why don't we see the girls night? Because they're not friends and it didn't happen. It would have been too difficult to put that dialogue in the film because they're not they don't know each other. They don't know each other at all. They've never met each other before. But then they say, she says, okay, we'll get dressed the happy couples taking us on a picnic. And then they go on a picnic?

Is that what they go on a picnic? We haven't gotten to the part yet where her mom says, why can't I find a photographer for this wedding? Not yet. Not yet, not yet. The wedding is now. The wedding is not what new book photographers. No.

The day before. No, but we haven't gotten there yet, but we will get there. We will get there. But so we're going on a picnic. And it's Paul and Emma and Heather and Corey and Maddie, fifth wheel, if you will. And they go to this, it's this beautiful lake. And Maddie says, oh, it's a lake from Paul's book.

They're like, oh, it's gorgeous. And they walk over this bridge. And Paul, they were saying like, yeah, this is where the fairy from the book lives. And they're like, oh, she makes all your wishes come true. And Maddie says, actually, she's actually a wicked and selfish fairy who lures sailors to their deaths. That's like, okay. Um, they get to these pink boats.

St. Brigid. St. Bridgett. But first we get to these pink little row boats that only have room for two each,

two boats. And so Maddie's like, all right, well, I'll just take a walk. Enjoy your boat. I'll just go ride myself. Yeah.

Myself, you guys. And they're like, oh, are you sure? Okay. And this is a line I wrote in. I wrote in a couple lines that really feel like

AI generated. Oh, one I missed earlier, which is they asked Maddie how her bus ride was. And she says, it was good, except for this cheeky British guy. Cheeky.

Cheeky. Sheiky. I just picked that word up in the airport. Cheeky. But then they're in their little boats. And Paul asks if they, Maddie will take a picture of him and Emma in the boat. And he goes, here. He answers when he says, actually, take it on my phone.

That way I can post it in my stories later. Why does that line to be in a movie? It's like aliens proving like we know what people do pictures with. It's Instagram stories, obviously. And everyone talks about it that way. I really do feel like this could have been written by AI. Like, when did chat GPT come online? Because it could easily have been when the script is written.

It could be like story by these two people and chat GPT. It was, I mean, it was pre-strike for sure. Like, so. But even the writer, I mean, she could like, feed chat GPT, the scene and be like, write me a scene where... The WGA wasn't not allowing it at this time, you know? Yep, yep. We'll never know.

I really want to do that. I really want to feed chat, GBT, like write me a Netflix rom-com and see what it comes up with. I feel like it's out there. And if it's not... It's called Irish. Yeah. Have you guys ever noticed that you have to have dinner every night? that the thing about dinner is that it's every night and every night around 5 p.m.

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Terms apply on covered repairs. But so she goes for a walk and she wanders over to this bench. Her mom facetimes her again. She answers it. Sorry. I forgot. I have a fun fact. And it's that this lake is not accessible to the public because it is

privately owned by the Guinness family. those bastards oh my god have you ever heard anything more Irish in your life let the public in it's just Lindsay it's gorgeous

the luckiest lake in all of Ireland always a luckiest lake in all of Ireland they call them locks there the lokiest lock in all of Ireland Lake Tay maybe lock is Scotland don't

don't be mad guys we don't know we don't know what we're talking about. They, but what kind of lighting do you think they use? They're outside, but I feel like they're still a huge,

huge lights. Everything is like, that's what's weird about it. It's like when the Wizard of Oz, it's like technicolor. Yes. Yes. It's like Alice and Wonderland are like Wizard of Oz.

Like, this is not how it looks when you're outside normally. This is not how it looks when you're, I'm actually shocked to hear you say that's a real lake because I was like, well, this is a backdrop because this is not how it looks when you're outside. No. I wouldn't be surprised if it's CGI to be that like

Yeah, it's definitely CGID. They didn't go to Ireland. But so she said she her mom facetimes her and asks how it's going. Her mom is doing something else crazy. Her mom's a school principal. Her mom's also a Clutch.

Her mom's also a Clutz. I don't know. She keeps fucking FaceTiming her daughter while she's in Ireland. And she says, and she says, No, I won't be participating in the actual shoot. No, I'm not going on.

What can I do from my home or 10 feet away from my home? Yeah. But she asks Maddie, how it's going? And Maddie says, you know, I can't help but think if I had just spoken up like you told me to about my feelings for Paul. Then, you know, maybe I'd be the one marrying him. An absolutely absurd thought to have. And she loses, as she says that, the film like glitches like, oh, oh, this is a magic happened and the call cuts out and then a woman in a um 1950s era headscarf pops up behind her and

says what and lindsay lohan was that a wish and lindsay lillohan says oh my gosh yes but i guess it was but i didn't think anyone was listening and she's like well i was you're on the wishing bench this is the wishing bench and you have to do everything just right need to sit there and need to do wish your wish and linds like oh that's okay i'm not i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't actually need to make a question. She's like, why not? What do you have to lose? She's like, okay.

She is being Irish, but this is the vibe of her, you know, speech pattern. She's doing a lot. She's doing a lot. And so Lindsay Hillohan's like, okay, fine. And she sits on the bench and she says, I wish I were marrying Paul Kennedy. And then jumps her eyes and was like, well, that didn't work. And the lady says, well, how do you know? And she says, well, like nothing happened.

There was like no big store. they're supposed to be like a lightning strike and she says well i could probably conjure up some wind and then she moves her hands around and a huge breeze kind of all the flowers on the tree behind her start blowing around her face and blowing around and they blow her back and she falls back and her head hits the pillow in a bed opens her eyes and says well that was a weird dream she hears she's back in her room at the estate. Here's a shower faucet on her bathroom. And I was like, what? Excuse me. Who's in there? She's in like a little silky, the most like, like sexy little thing she wears in the whole movie. This little like short silky robe. And she's going and goes in the bathroom. Hello.

Pulls back. Would anyone on earth pull back a shower curtain? Who's in there? Like only one way to find out. Yeah. I don't think a person has. has ever done that in in when trying in earnest to like be like excuse me someone in my bathroom show yourself yanks the curtain back and oh my god it's paul and he's naked in there and she's horrified covers her eyes oh my god oh my god i'm so sorry and he's like it's fine what's the big deal and she's covering her eyes and running into things i was like i'm sorry i'll leave you alone so sorry i didn't just so sorry didn't mean to runs out of the bathroom trips over a suitcase on the ground as paul's coming out with a towel around his waist he's

wet. He's sorry, not hot. No, that's the one thing about this movie. Again, if they just cast someone who was hot, it would have been more fun. Which is not to say this man is not attractive, but he's not hot. You know what I mean? You don't really understand why she's

so obsessed with him. He's a really bad actor. Sorry. He's really bad actor, and he's not Irish, and his accent is very inconsistent. Like, he's like silly. You just don't believe that she would actually have such a huge crush on this. person. It's like, this guy sucks. Obviously, he sucks and he's, it's not right, but whatever,

we'll move on. We'll move on. But she trips over the suitcase and he comes out with the tower and he's like, oh, my gosh, Maddie, like, are you okay? And she's like, oh, they found my suitcase. Uh, uh, uh, yeah, you just take your time. You get dressed. I'm going to go, I'm going to go outside and she goes out of the room. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, how did this happened? And who should she see in the hallway, but Emma? And Emma says, oh, hey, Maddie, are you, uh, Do you know where Paul is? And she's like, oh,

I've never seen Paul. My mom. One place he's not here. He's certainly not there. And then the door opens and it's Paul. She's like, goes, Paul,

do you get in there? And Emma doesn't blink an eye. Emma's not concerned. He goes to kiss Maddie. And she goes like, Paul. And he says, well,

it's not like she hasn't seen a kiss before, which is like, this is all just, if you think about this for just a moment in the context of not a magical scenario,

it is insane. Unhinged that a pretty like what would you guys do if you came over and and every time Joel came near I was like Joel and like you would think that something insane and terrible was happening further evidence that these people are not friends and they don't know each other at all they they just met but Emma's telling Maddie she's so excited for the wedding because there's a lot of hot guys in this town and she's showing our phone she's on a dating app a local dating up and Maddie's like that's weird Paul gets dressed, Paul leaves, I don't know, to go to breakfast or something. And so does Emma and Maddie sees her friend Heather, again, who exists for no reason other than just to have like another person there for moments like this. And she pulls Heather into her room and she's like, Heather, I have to tell you something. I did a crazy thing yesterday.

I met this fairy and I had this crazy dream that I met this fairy and I told her that I wished I was marrying Paul Kennedy. And then I woke up and Paul was in my bathroom. And she's like, yeah. And Lindsay Lohan, opens her her suitcase and it's like there's a wedding dress in here she's like uh-huh and she looks at her fingers she's like I have uh what's this ring doing here and she's like you're getting married you're marrying Paul Kennedy it's so funny how many times I say it was first and last name you're marrying Paul Kennedy and she goes I'm not marrying Paul Kennedy she's marrying Paul Kennedy and she points at the framed picture of Emma and Paul only now uh-oh it's her and Paul

which the real scary thing about this scenario is this woman just lost a year of her life. Yeah. Like that when this wish comes true, they jump to the wedding and it's like she has no memory of her whole relationship with this person. Yeah.

Which is really upsetting. That's, yeah. Devastating. But she doesn't... And it's going to come back to bite her in the ass later. Yeah, we're going to play a little game. That's going to be a tough one to play.

Also just love in the Voltcher article. She says, Maddie pulls her. a wedding dress raw out of her suitcase. I did have that thought as well. Like, they just shoved it in there. God, it's funny. And Heather's like, I think you're just having some pre-wedding jitters.

Like, you're marrying Paul Kennedy. I'm not going to be at all concerned about this behavior. Like, it's totally fine. Get dress, silly. Like, you're about to have the best weekend of your life. Put on the ugliest shit you can find and meet us downstairs. and she and Maddie looks at the picture

and she says and this is a truly endearing Lindsay Love Hand moment where she goes I'm marrying Paul Kennedy and she's like all excited and she does get dressed in a fucking nasty outfit and goes downstairs

oh sorry another line in this moment that I really wanted to call out is that she's pulling things out of her suitcase like when she pulls out the wedding dress raw and then she pulls out a pair of heels and she goes what these. These aren't mine and Heather goes, duh, sexy heels for your honeymoon.

Oh my God. The implication being like, you're going to want higher heels once you fucked. Oh my God. That's the thing is like every line in this is really worth paying attention to. There's parts where it's like people in the background. Oh, I've got some of those lines are really good. Those lines are really good. Oh, my God. So she goes down to breakfast. and everyone at the table is acting like they've never met, like literally everyone. And she goes to sit down.

She puts a chair. She knows at this point she's burying Paul Kennedy. She knows her wish came true. She sits at the breakfast table. It's Paul, an empty chair. And then she sits down at the chair. And he's like, babe, sit in this chair. And she's like, oh, okay.

It's like, she sits next to him. They're talking about the wedding. This is when this is when Paul's mom says, I cannot find a photographer for this wedding. Why can't I find a photographer for this wedding? Why can't I find a photographer this wedding? And Corey goes, because you're awful mom. Every photographer you've ever hired leaves in tears.

And they all have a big laugh about it. She's a rich bitch who is awful to her stuff. Hilarious. And then they say, oh, and by the way, the wedding cake I ordered is too tall off for the delivery truck. And Maddie says, why don't we just get a shorter cake? And they go, oh, my God, Maddie, you're a genius. They're like, that's the first time we've ever heard you talk, Maddie.

Like, it's like, seriously. Oh. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is going to hear her. There's one moment I had to call out earlier. When Maddie Lee, I wasn't even looking. I didn't even need my notes to get us through all of that plot. But if I had been looking at my notes, I would have told you guys that there's a moment where when Maddie comes out of her room and she sees Emma, when she's still freaking out and doesn't know what's going on. She does. She goes, morning Emma. Emma. and that is an exact one for one from a moment from the parent trap. Which has to be into that. That's the only part of this movie I think a human being wrote. There's a part of the movie of the parent trap where they're having cabin inspections

and they've just done the big prank where this is, Annie, I think, has done the prank where she's like, yes, filled Halley's like done like a home alone sort of like set up where there's like trip watch. and they get like a whipped cream on their face and like molasses stripped on them and she's just made their cabin total chaos and marva is coming for cabin checks and they didn't and annie didn't know and ann and and and and uh marva comes up and says good morning girls and and and he says good morning marva marva it's like the exact same and it made me we're really happy um that's nice nice so anyway that a human did that there a human did one thing that um um then at breakfast Paul tells Maddie that they're going to go on a bike ride

while meanwhile Heather and Emma are going to pick apples in the orchard and Paul says let's go on a bike ride and Maddie says oh I think I'll pick apples instead like I'm not really great on a bike and he says don't be silly Maddie everyone knows how to ride a bike and it's like okay

to start riding their bikes and would you believe it she's terrible at it and he is just blazing ahead of her and he's like come on, Maddie. I'm trying to get my cardio. Lindsay Lohan acting her little butt off like, oh, oh, oh, she's absolutely like, cannot balance her shit on that bike. And wouldn't you know it? She crashes.

Paul comes back to her and is like, oh, my God, are you okay? And she's like, oh, yeah, no, no, no, I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine. Let's keep going. I'll just, I'll just stay next to my bike and sort of jog along behind you. And he's like, well, actually, I was like really hoping to get a good workout in. So it's not really going to work for me. And Emma goes, it's okay.

I'll take your spot. takes her bike, jumps on, is like, okay, Paul, come on, catch up with me. And just, they just ride away together. Both of them in skirts trying to get that cardio in. Yeah. But they're below the knee skirts. So they are. They're basically pants.

So Paul and Emma go in their background. And Maddie looks nervous about this because she does know that in a lifetime, they want to be with each other. So she's nervous about it. but they go back, oh, they get back to the house. And this is where we hear Emma and Paul bonding over the fact that he thinks men should be able to get Botox. And that's apparently an important thing for us to. These are some of the background lines.

First, we see Lindsay and what's your name, Heather? Heather. Heather. Heather. Coming home. And one of them says, I literally cannot believe how many apples we got. Perfect. Yes, realistic. We've all set it. Incredibly successful apple food picking trips. Literally cannot believe how many apples we just got. And then, yeah, while they're also in the outdoor area, that's when Emma and Paul are returning and we're overhearing her saying, I agree. I don't see a problem with guys getting Botox. And we're all nodding. Yep.

Yep. Guys can get Botox. Yep. What a bonding moment. Wow, they are in love. And Paul's mom comes out and says, Maddie, it's time for us to go to your final wedding dress fitting. And she says, oh, I thought I had a wedding dress. And like, no, no, no, no, no, you need to come. We need to get our wedding dress.

Oh, that one that you just threw wrong. That nasty, recleash that you like, first of all, I don't trust a single item of clothing that you are picking out. Second of all, no, we have a family dress. We need to go to our final fitting. So they go into town. and the dress is very conservative, very... A turtle neck, essentially.

A turtle neck, big long sleeves. It's just a lot of dress. It is pretty, but it's pretty. She clearly doesn't love it. But it's not her. It's not her. And we see the fairy, meanwhile, walking through the town, being sneaky.

And she sees... We had learned earlier on the bus that James was in town to, he's a photographer and he's in town to photograph a sheep shearing festival and she walks past a poster of the sheep sheapshering festival and she does her little magic and it says canceled.

So then as she's walking by, Maddie sees her outside. It's like, oh my God, I have to talk to her. That's her. I got to go. She runs out of the store in the wedding dress. Meanwhile, we see that James has seen the canceled sign and is like, oh no, I was really like part of that gig. Oh,

Earlier we forgot to mention that James has a room at a local pub called Scruffy McDougalls. Scruffy McDuffie McDuff's? Scruffy McDuff's, something like that. And he talked to the owners, Scruffy, who was like, when are you going to, Scruffy Murpys? Scruffy Murphys. And when are you going to settle down and meet a nice girl? And he was like, oh, you know, that's not for me.

So anyway, we've just gotten a little bit about it. story on James, but James is getting in his little convertible. He's like, man, I guess I can't do that gig. And Lindsay's running out of the wedding dress store, trying to catch the fairy and does the most incredible stunt I've ever seen. She is running down the sidewalk, trips, flies, flies over the, does a full 180, 360. Seversault front flip over and into the car landing on James's lap. It's really, really incredible.

And nobody even stops to check on them. Are you guys okay? This would be an insane thing to witness. This is the kind of town where a bus driver takes you door to door, but the town does not care if you have some sort of insane accident. Yeah. And she falls into James's lap and she goes, you. And he doesn't know her because in this timeline, they've never met.

But he's got his photography stuff in the back of his car and as they have a little moment of sort of flirt flirtation. Oh, no, I'm sorry. In this moment, no, they haven't met. You're right. In the storyline, they haven't met. But there's a little bit of chemistry. There is a little bit of chemistry. I mean, a hot girl just landed in his lap and she just landed in a hot guy's lap.

So, like, what are we supposed to do? You know? Yeah. Um, you're gonna feel that. Electricity. Yeah. You're gonna feel that heat. And she gets out of his lap and it's like, oh my God.

I don't know. She's just getting her bearings and Heather and Emma and Paul's mom all run out. And they're like, oh my gosh. Wow. Maddie, you found us a photographer because they just see that he's holding a camera and are like, great, you're our wedding photographer. And he says, oh, I don't really do that. And Paul's mom says, whatever your rate is, I'll triple it.

And he's like, okay, guess I'm shooting a wedding. He needs that money. He lost from that sheep sharing. He needs that money. I just got the, so Jenna has a language called I-Vive, where you add a syllable in the middle of each syllable. And I just wanted to try to do it with Irish rich, Irish wish. A-vi-ri-vish-ri-vish. What?

I've never heard of this before. I vi rivish Wivish It's like pig Latin but Yeah How would you do the Errigal version of it? I can't speak that one

I garragish I do remember having a version of this In my elementary school I feel like a lot of people had Variavish Variations of it Where you just add a letter

In between each syllable of each word So I would say, Havai, Havn, Levy, Havau, Arvar, Yivu, tova, to Devei. I never did anything like that. I never did anything like this. Sammy Smart is,

Siv, Sav, wait, fuck. Savamavi. Savamovie. Savamovart. Samavavit. Smavart. Oh, Sammy, I meant to show you,

my mom sent me all these books. And it included a collection. a collection of one of my favorite book sets that I've ever owned, Sammy Keys. Did you ever read the Sammy Keys? No, I didn't, but I've heard of them. I read all the Sammy Keys books when I was growing up. It's for me that has told me about them. I was obsessed with them, read all of them, and I was always like, cool to have a friend named Sammy, a cool name. I've never heard that before. Sammy for a girl, I've never heard Sammy. I love that. Wow. Little did I know.

True. You're very own Irish wish. You made an Irish wish and here I am. Here you are. Thank you, St. Bridget. Okay. So we have, I feel like, they bring James to the estate to like talk over wedding logistics. And he's again, this is where he meets Paul and it's like, oh, I guess he's two haven't ever met. but he's immediately like very disdainful of Paul and says like, oh, I've read your books. And Paul says,

oh, it's always nice to meet a fan. And he says, I'm sure it would be. So rude. But Paul doesn't even notice. He's too full of himself. And he says,

we actually should get some PR photos of me and Maddie and some picturesque Irish locations for the next book. And James says, oh, so not just a wedding, but a PR opportunity. He is taken dig after dig on these people. They are flying right over.

Paul's... Yeah, Paul doesn't notice. Paul doesn't notice. Maddie notices... Already they, again, they've had some chemistry. They've had some spark. You know, she knows

something's going on over there. That night, Maddie is sleeping in bad and we have a full horror movie moment where from her side of the bed, we just see her laying in the bed in the dark, and we just see a hand come over her shoulder. It's very scary.

And she sees it, freaks out, punches at the person, whose hand it is hits him in the eye, hits him in the nuts, and wouldn't you know it is Paul? And he is asking, what the head? Maddie, what the hell are you doing? She says, sorry, sorry, I was asleep. I didn't know who you were. And he says, just don't talk to me.

Paul is the worst. He's not good. There's nothing likable about him. Nothing likable at all. But so then next morning, we're supposed to go location scouting with James for photos for our picturesque Irish locations, but Paul can't go because he's been attacked. So, uh-oh, Maddie and James have to go alone. In his little Stuart little car. And his little red convertible, a perfect car for Ireland. Um, and they are immediately hitting on each other.

Oh my God. It is like, you could cut the sexual attention with a fucking. knife. Immediately, both of them are just like salivating over each other. I'm like, get me in there. I want to fuck both of these people. I'm like, I'm like, it's, it's like, it's like the chemistry is off the fucking charts. But it's also just like really obvious flirting, like really intense and obvious flirting on both sides. And which under those circumstances is just a really wild choice. Really inappropriate. I did at this point, right that he kind of looks like T-1000 from Terminator 2. He does kind of look like T-1-thous. A young Robert Patrick. I see it. He does. He does. He also looks like Tommy Vitor from

Pod Save America. That's an interesting reference, Henley. Yeah, that one doesn't work for me. We shouldn't know what authors look like, but perhaps the host of Pod Save America, a podcast. From a distance, they have the exact same kind of like hair that looks. like it's molded out of wax. Yeah. There's also an exchange here, which is deeply unsettling, where she says, wow, I just feel like I stepped into a James Joyce novel. And he goes, wow, that wasn't the reference I was expecting from a book editor.

Are you fucking kidding me? Sure, it's Lindsay Lohan. But you're a photographer. Who are you to be like, how dare you reference James Joyce in my presence? I would never have expected. A man, Henley. He's a man. I was like, and she's like, yeah, he's one of my favorite authors.

No, James Joyce is my favorite author. And he's, he's like, whoa, hot, hot, hot. Also, that is so funny to say James Joyce is your favorite author. Very, very fucking funny. But yeah, on the drive, they're like going to find locations to go to you. And he is acting like he knows both of them very well. Like he's like, so are you excited for your wedding and or like, how do you and James know it? He asked her.

Oh. Yeah. he asked what do you do? And she says, oh, I'm a book editor. And he says, oh, how'd you get into that? She says, I used to be a writer, but there's no money in that. And so I got into book editing. And he says, oh, that's how you met Paul.

And she said, yeah, we were a really good team right away. And he says, oh, well, that's, that's interesting. And she says, yeah, we work really well together. And he says, well, I guess opposites attract. And she says, no, we actually have tons in common. And he says, oh, yeah, I'm sure you guys have, I'm sure you guys have lots of stuff in common. It just must not be obvious to anyone. It's like, my dude,

you don't know either of these people. You literally, again, it's like they're acting like the AI who wrote this movie thought that there was a backstory between James and Paul. Like, I don't know if it was cut out of the movie or what, but it's like he is really acting like he knows this man very well. And he just met him.

Very interesting. But then, yeah, he takes, he takes Lindsay to the Cliffs of Moore and she's like oh my God this is so stunning I would love to get married and it's my favorite art is stunning so stunning I was kind of shocked

I was like it's absolutely stunning why don't I see more content shot at the Cliffs of Moore and why are they letting this movie film there like why is this the one that's broken through we got to go. This is a perfect movie

we got to go there for we'll go there on our tour Irish wish to which we are writing and producing which are writing and producing and it's going to be a shot for shot remake of Irish Wish 1 it's a Hannekey style

funny games but yeah at the Cliffs of Moore and she's like oh my god this is so stunning I wish I could get married here and he says why can't you and she says oh I wouldn't want to be difficult

and he said I hardly think having an opinion at your own wedding is difficult she's like you don't understand I had time traveled here so I wasn't actually I wasn't involved with the play of this like kind of at all like actually didn't uh have a say but we're get where it's leaning into the theme of all she ever speaks up for herself oh she doesn't assert herself people please her people please her i found some of this stuff triggering yeah and it's also like dude you don't know her

you don't know her and she's a time traveler so we use a lot you don't understand but he takes a picture of her he's like he's definitely he's infatuated he's like he's under she i mean look at if you're if you're watching this video episode, you can see how closely together they're standing and his legs are open to her. Like, this is hot. No. Read the by language.

Like, this is hot. What is that? Three inches between them? I mean, not enough. Her hemline is so long. You mean too much.

Too much. It's too much. Nothing's getting past that hemline. But, you know, literally the worst. It's like the costume designer hated her. I mean,

yeah. Why? put those proportions on her, it's cruel. Yeah, it's cruel. She also says something about like, oh, I would love to take pictures here, but I don't think Paul would like it very much. And he was like...

Rugged cliffs aren't his style. Yeah, and again, James, as if he knows him, was like, yeah, I figured. It's like, you don't, okay. But he asks her, why don't you write your own book? Why aren't you writing your own novel? This is when I got triggered. I feel like I've dated too many guys that are like, hey,

what if I just push you to be more ambitious. Like, I think you should. Okay. And also that's a great point on dating apps. Whenever any dating app says, like, looking for someone ambitious, I'm like, fuck you. Fuck you.

I'm trying to live my life. How dare you? I am, I have such ambition to have a good fucking time. How dare you try to tell me to be ambitious? The question is, like, are you driven to fucking chill out and like not do shit? you don't want to do. I am the most driven fucking person on the planet. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. So I was getting, I was getting a little annoyed with James here. Like, all right, fuck off, man. I'm going to live my life the way I want to live. But he says, she says, oh, I just, you know, I don't really have anything to say. And he says, everyone has something to say.

You've just got to be brave enough to say it. Wow. And she says, are you calling me a coward? But we're flirting. We're flirting. Are you call me a coward? He says, oh, no, I wouldn't, I'd never say that. We're just really, really flirting.

But meanwhile, the other people back at the estate are playing croquet or botchy ball or something. I don't know. Some fucking. A rich person. A rich person lawn game. And we see Paul icing his eye. And Emma comes over to tend to him. And they are flirting so fucking hard.

Pretty aggressively. Really intense eye contact. She's like holding the ice pack to his face. Like it's like, again, really intense flirting. Really obvious and intense. flirting. And meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan's brother makes a little cameo appearance as one of Paul's friends. But, you know, back at the cliffs, it starts pouring rain. They're trying to drive back to the estate. But when you know it, a big tree has fallen in the road. They're not getting past that. They're in the middle of nowhere.

Nobody's going to clear these roads right now. And he, and James says, it's okay. I know a great little pub right down the street. And she's like, okay, great, we go to the pub. Get to the pub. And we find out. James is like, yeah, well, we're going to have to stay the night. Really made me laugh. The casualness with which he was like, okay, great, we'll take a couple beers in two rooms. It's like, sir, I don't know you. I'm not from here. Like, what the phone are you talking about?

And he's like, well, no one's going to clear the road until morning. Like, we don't have a choice. She's like, okay, well, I have to call Paul. Calls Paul. Leave some of voice modes. Like, hey, tree block on the road. Go stay the night here. See you.

Tomorrow. Okay. So they sit down. They're at a pub. They're at a pub in Ireland. And she tries to order white wine because they don't really like beer. That's what I'm drinking.

And that's why I chose it. Because I actually don't really like wine too much. But I was trying to be on theme. Great. Great. But, you know, they're sitting. They're having a nice little time. They're flirting.

They're getting to know each other. they it's like they want to fuck each other so bad it's crazy how bad they want to fuck each other I feel like there's a moment in on the cliffs where they like almost kiss or something maybe that hasn't happened yet but there's like a moment between them and I wrote in my notes does she want to fuck this guy or not she like she really wants to fuck this guy which is again it's why I want the like I want the the my best friend's wedding version of this movie I want the true good rom-com because I feel like you have to say the night in the in a rainy middle of nowhere Ireland your fiance is not answering the phone like do something sneak into

you're in your room and you can't get the fire started so you need him to come in and start the fire and and you have a moment and just give me something you know anything got anything no but not outside the not outside the bounds of marriage Emily never get get darts, which, you know, they make it hot, but they teach her how to, they do ghosts. They come back later too. Yeah, he tries to teach her how to play darts. And they're really, she, he, she throws the first dart. It's all over the place. He tells her, you have to keep your feet still. He comes behind and he's like, you have to do your arm like this and this. And she throws it and she hits a bull's eye. And, and, um, he says, wow, you're a really good

student. And she said, and they're really close each other. She says, I think you're just a really good teacher. they're maybe about to kiss and she says, I'm getting married in two days. So we're acknowledging that there's something here, but we're not going to do anything about it, even though we're staying in two rooms for the night.

And she doesn't even have any memories of her relationship with her fiancee. I will say that this is the scene that gets quite titanicky. It is. Oh, I forgot about this dance. Because he's a me. Then he takes her to dance

and they do like a traditional folk dance. And the music is pretty titanicky. Pretty Titanic. Titanic was built in Ireland, just in case anybody forgot. Excuse me, this is basically Titanic. How could you? I wrote here at this point in my notes, I really feel bad for her because if I were engaged to an Irish person, but in love with the British person, I'd be really upset to.

All of her dreams are coming true. Why doesn't she feel happy? I know, I know. the dance, but you know, nothing else happens. At some point, we've also noticed that her mom missed her flight because the fairy fucked with her clock. So her alarm didn't go off. So her mom is not... Mom stuff is so crazy. It's so crazy. It doesn't need to be there at all.

Are a different movie. Yeah. No, they're very much this movie, but they're just so crazy and disconnected. Also, Lindsay Lohan keeps being like, my mom will get here and she'll fix everything. Oh, my mom will deal with that. My mom will handle that. And then it's like, we don't have sex and we love our mommies. Yeah. And then her mom is like, can't, you know, having to like rebook or flight, whatever.

But it's so weird, Lindsay Lohan being this like, clearly very independent, successful woman who was like, but my mommy, oh, my mommy will handle that. My mommy does that stuff. Yeah, everything will be fine once my mom gets her. But so she's, her mom is showing up at the airport and is trying to rebook her flight with

the airline attendant who was a former student and is like, oh my God, you overslept? That's so funny. I need to text. Remember Kimmy? I need to text. Kimmy.

The subtext here being that like Lindsay Lohan's mom is a huge bitch who was like really awful to everyone. Like that's the subtext. It's like, wow. It's fucking awesome that you missed your flight. You fucking bitch. It's true. It is true.

That's very funny. Really interesting choice there. then the next morning, you know, it's really muddy. It's hard to get their car, a little convertible to get going out of the mud. They have to push it. They get so dirty. Oh my gosh, they're dirty and muddy. It's just wouldn't you know it.

Everything's going wrong. They're not going to make it in time for the rehearsal, but they're driving there anyway. They managed to show up after the rehearsal has begun and Emma has decided to step in. for Maddie and they're about to, the priest is saying you know, uh, I've now pronounced you man and wife.

And it's, Emma's standing there. And Maddie runs in at the last minute with James and they're like, again, like it's, they should, shouldn't they be concerned? Shouldn't it be like they're just,

they're, it's very strange. But again, nobody knows each other. So they're like, whatever, who cares. Plug in another lady here.

Like, I literally don't know anybody. It doesn't matter. But Maddie comes in and they're like, okay, let's get to the real. rehearsal, great, we'll do it. Once again, I now pronounce the husband and wife. You can kiss the bride. And as they're about to kiss, Maddie looks up to the stained glass at this like outdoor church.

It's a weird little place that the set is really crazy. It was unexpected. I will say this is not given how traditional, I guess, the wedding and conservative the family dress was. This setting is pretty crazy. Yeah. It is a church, but they've decorated it wildly in a way that I feel like is not dissimilar to a little, there's some Madonna in vibes here. They're just like cranking it up. That's an interesting take. Whoa.

Is this one reason why this movie is hitting so home with Emily? I just feel like, I mean, this movie hits in every category. Not that it looks obviously as good as that, but it just, it's doing a lot. up in a way that I think was unexpected for these people. It's a hat on a hat on a hat. Yeah. But when she's going to kiss Paul,

she looks up at the stained glass and sees it's, oh my gosh, it's the fairy and she fucking winks at her and she and Maddie passes out before she can kiss Paul. Good, because I do not want to see anyone kissing before. I mean, I really don't either. Before marriage?

Marriage. We don't kiss. Absolutely not. But cut to our rehearsal dinner. We're having a little party. Everyone's fine. We're all cleaned up. It's all good. And Paul's brother says,

okay, great. Here's a classic rehearsal dinner activity. We're going to play a drinking game. And the drinking game is, how well does a couple know each other? And the game is going to be, we're going to ask a question. If you guys answer it right,

you both take a shot. And if you answer it wrong, everybody else takes a shot. this is like hoity toady fucking rich ass people at a fancy dinner table. Yeah, they're not playing. We're not doing this. I can't even play games with shots involved. No, the night before your wedding, can you imagine?

No. Really bad idea. But, uh, okay, great. So we're playing the game. The game is how well do you know your fiancé? That's the game. Okay, great. Question one.

Um, who is Maddie's favorite author? He, he, he. And Paul, our, James is here, by the way, photographing the event. So he and Maddie keep making eye contact. James is like, if you say Paul Kennedy. If you say Paul Kennedy. Well, Emma makes a joke. She says, that's easy.

It's Paul Kennedy. And everyone laughs. And Paul says, no, no, no. I know my fiance. She likes the classics. And so her favorite author is Charles Dickens. And Maddie makes eye contact. There's a pause, though, and it turns to James.

And he goes, James, Joyce. He's like, he's like, I know this one. I know this one. I know this one. But he says, Charles Dickens and Maddie set looks at James and goes, that's right.

And they're all like, oh, yay. He got it right. Okay. Question two. What was the first song you danced to? And they look at each other and

Paul says, we haven't. Maddie doesn't dance. And again, Maddie and James look at each other because they just danced last day. They did their Titanic.

Third class dance party. Two for two. James is like, this is fishy. Question three. Okay, once again, the name of the game is how well do you know your fiance?

How well do you know your fiancee? Question three. Where did Paul propose? It's like, oh, we're wondering if you're just blackout all of the time, Maddie. That's the implication. Question three is just like, oh, remind me of a location and an event that you were present at.

Extremely memorable moment. Oh, my God. Presumably all of us have heard before multiple times. Really made me laugh. It's so, so funny. How well do you know your fiance? Oh, my God. How did he propose?

How did he propose? And she says, it's either a softball or. or they're worried she has dementia. Like, those are the usually two options. I will say when I was in high school, my friends and I had an incestuous friend group where all of us were like, everyone was dating.

And we played a newlyweds game, essentially, and everyone submitted questions. And it was so fun. It was really great. I mean, it's different than this. not how well do you know your fiance? Yeah, yeah. But I love to include extremely basic questions that everyone should know the answer to

and people got them wrong. No, God. Proving they were time travelers that didn't happen. I know this question was so funny. It's really funny. Prove to us you have no memories. And she goes, oh, it was somewhere really special. It was so nice.

It was so nice and special. I was like really, really special. And Paul steps in and says, it was at, tools on my birthday. And she's like, right, yeah, it tells my birthday. And, and, uh, I, you know, Maddie asked, how could I, you know, this, he's like, what, what do I have to do to get you to take me to Ireland? And he said, well, we'd have to be getting married.

And so she got down on one knee and she proposed. And Maddie's like, wait, I proposed. Yeah, I proposed. Right. Yeah, of course. That's not traditional family values. She's really, she's really fucking offended by this. we can tell.

That's not how it goes. The man must ask the woman. So, you know, they're like, yay, good job. We won the game. And then it turns into a little, you know, a little bit of dance party slash,

you know, everybody's sort of wandering around cocktail hour vibes. And Paul's mom pulls James aside and is like, we're going to have you stay here in the house tonight. So we really appreciate. everything you did today, we'll see you tomorrow. And again, I'm like, you know, wedding crashes vibes.

We even could have had a little tiptoeing down the hall, putting her ear to the, there's just many opportunities. But, uh, so James leaves, Maddie sees him leave and sneaks off to go talk to him. And I don't, somehow this starts. Oh, he just asks her, uh, if he's, if she's making a mistake. He's so sure you're not making a mistake. Just like, what I just saw him there was pretty weird. Yeah.

He does say like it's, like, you guys act like you don't know each other at all. And, uh, he says something like, you know, I just, I don't, are you truly happy? You don't seem truly happy. And I, you know, I need, you know, you need to make sure you're not making a mistake. And she does come back in him and say like, you don't know me. You're not allowed to question my life choices. Like, that's not your place at all. I am doing what I want to be doing. But, you know, there is a lot of sexual tension there. She says, you know, I, granted, we had, we had a beautiful day together. But it was just a day. and like, this is my life. And she says,

she says, tomorrow I'm marrying Paul Kennedy. And he says, and he says, right, because you asked him. And she says, what?

You think a woman's not allowed to ask a man to marry her? And he says, no, but if you were my girlfriend, I wouldn't have waited. I would have asked you to marry me first. Twilight shit.

This is crazy. This is another moment where I was getting mad at James. I was like, It's not, it's not right. And then he says, it's fine. I'll just, I'll shoot the wedding. And then I'm off.

I'm off to Bolivia to photograph endangered tree lizards, which was really reminding me of my met when my mom was before my mom died. Yes, yes. Studying spiders on the Amazon or whatever. Yeah, I'm off to Bolivia to photograph endangered tree lizards. So then we'll never see each other again. And she goes, oh, great, running out, running away from your life again. It's like, you don't know him. Don't know each other.

You don't know each other. You don't know each other. You don't know any other example of any time that he's done that. You don't know a single thing about him. Oh, my God. He's just as far as you know, a guy that came here to do a job. Like, there's nothing you know that he's running away from. Right?

You don't know. Not heard any of that. I don't think so. He mentioned something about having no ties when they were at the pub. And she was like, well, I guess you haven't met the person. You want to spend the rest of your life with. Wait, is this when she starts her novel? I love it when you see authors writing their novel.

and it's just like chapter one it says it says untitled novel by maddie whatever her name is and a blank blank blank she's just sitting in her computer like yeah so she goes she goes back to her room oh no she so james leaves she comes back into the rehearsal dinner and paul sees her and is like oh by the way mattie i wrote our vows and she's like you wrote both of our vows and he says yeah i emailed them to you I'm a writer, so you can tweak yours if you want, but like, I'm the writer. And she's like, okay, well, I'm going to go to bed, big day tomorrow. And he says, yeah, we're sleeping in separate room this night. Don't want to jinx it by fucking the night before our wedding.

And she's like, yeah, of course. Okay, good night. And yeah, she goes into her room, uh, opens her untitled empty blank page. Um, we see meanwhile that James is in his room reading two Irish hearts. And he's a pretty deep into the book. Oh, that's interesting. That's an interesting choice. He likes it.

We see Maddie sees out the window. She sees Emma and Paul having a little moment where she, like, touches his chest. And it feels like very intimate and sad. And Paul walks away from her. And Emma starts sobbing. It's like really heartbreaking. I mean, they're bad actors, so you don't feel it. But like, if you imagine that,

scenario would be really heartbreaking. If they had made Paul a likable character at all, it would be completely different movie. It would be completely different movie. When we remake this movie shot for shot, we'll take them into consideration. That's the simple thing to adjust. The fact that the lever is turned so down on Paul makes it seem so crazy. The whole thing is crazy. We have all the ingredients of a truly perfect movie.

And I'm glad that we got this movie, but I 100% agree that I want both. I want both. And we'll say we'll do it. Why not los dos? No los dos. We say it all the time. We say it all the time. That's what we're always saying.

And we mean it. And we mean it. Truly, porque no los dos. So we also see that at the airport, Maddie's mom is trying to run to her gate to make her flight and the ferry is fucking there and makes her mom trip over her suitcase and go absolutely flying into the air. So that doesn't look good. Really dangerous stuff.

The next day, it's, you know, it's the day of the wedding. We see James is out in the garden taking photos. She's just getting establishing shots, you know. And Maddie comes up to him. So talented. Maddie comes up to him and, you know, I just wants to say, I want to apply. apologize for yesterday. I don't think he apologizes.

Whatever. He's still hot. It's fine. It really does. His looks and vibe carry a lot. They carry a lot. In a different actor's hands, this role could have been a lot less likeable.

Really tough. But he saved the movie. Hey, man, Lindsay. The chemistry, the chemistry. But he tells her, I read your book. And she says, you mean you read Paul's book? And he says, I know what I said. He said, I've read Paul Kennedy's other books.

This one was way better. Very well written. I know, like, she says, no, I just edit it. And he says, it's one thing to edit Paul's book. It was another thing to edit your own life. And she says, I don't know if this is supposed to be my life. And he says, well, if you don't think that this is supposed to be your life, you should do something about.

And this is genuinely good advice where he's like, now's the time. Like, if you don't think this is your life, you don't have to go through with it. Like, this is your decision. You should only do it if it's what you want. And she says, marrying Paul Kennedy is my wish come true. And he says, I don't know.

You need to decide what you want, basically. And they're having this sort of intimate moment. And Paul sees them from across the garden. Doesn't say anything. Walks away. Maddie is in her wedding dress. Getting ready to go. And Heather comes in to wish her well, her friend apparently.

And Maddie says, hey, can you find out where my mom is? She's like, hey, by the way, is my mom here yet? And she's like, oh, I don't know. She's like, okay, can you try to find my mom? And she's like, yeah, totally, I'll go do that. Leaves. Oh, on the estate? Yeah, I'll just take a look around.

Oh, right. Mother of the bride, well, see what I can do. And then the priest, the father, comes in to see if Maddie's ready to go. He's like, all ready, ready for the wedding. And she says, Father, I think, I think I did something really bad. And he says, oh, what, what did you do? She says, I made a wish to St. Bridget.

And he goes, oh, that's not that big of a deal. But you got to be careful with St. Bridges. She's got a tricksy sense of humor. She's a sneaky little bit. She's kind of a little bitch. I have some problems with her. She's not always going to give you what you want. but she's if you take some time

you just my mind if you get what you need and this is like a huge light bulb moment for Maddie where she's like oh I got I'm gonna get what I need oh my God

thank you father he's like you'll be fine see see out there see up there at the altar oh I think music starts and he's like oh gotta go and he like gets out of there

I love this continuing idea that priests are in on it They're like, yes, St. Bridget, we have dinner every Friday. I know what she's up to. She's sweetly. She's a little bitch, but he's going to give you what you need. We work together, me and her. Then Emma comes in to wish Maddie well and Maddie apologizes.

She says, I'm sorry, Emma. And Emma says about one. She says about Paul. I know you guys have feelings for each other. And Emma starts to cry and is like, I don't know. I just, I'm sorry. I feel like ever since I met him, I just felt like we were faded to be with each other.

And I just wonder, I can't, I can't, I can't, but wonder if in another lifetime, maybe we would have been together. But I'm like, I'm so sorry that I'm saying this to you. And Maddie's like, it's okay. I'm going to, I'm going to make it right. Okay, cut to the wedding.

Everybody, you know, everybody's up there ready to go. The ceremony has started and all we're doing is waiting on the bride. Wait on the bride. Everybody looks down the aisle. to see the bride coming, where is she, where is she? And out walks Lindsay Lohan in an above-the-need hem dress. Not a many moccasins. It's not a real wedding, folks.

And my favorite of the little background lines is some random person in the crowd as she is walking down the aisle up to talk to Paul goes, Is that the dress? Is that the dress? Oh, it made me really laugh. And she goes up and she says, you know, I'm sorry. I have to say something. You know, Paul, you're a really great person and you're a good writer.

But I'm not in love with you. And I don't think you're in love with me. And call me crazy. But I just think if you're going to marry someone and you're going to have a life and a real marriage with them, it should be with someone you love. And not just someone you wish for. Wow.

And wow. Wow. Everyone is shocked. Paul's mom stands up. Never thought of that before. Furious. What the fuck is this? Paul, what is going on?

And he, Paul says, this isn't my fault. This is his. his fault and he points to James and he says I saw you and Maddie in the garden this morning and Maddie says that has nothing to do with it and he says he's trying to steal my wife and my my bride to be and and he says well at least I'm not stealing Maddie's ideas and making them my own Oh. And Paul says, what are you talking about?

And he says, your book. I read it. And Paul says, I wrote that book. And Maddie says, no, Paul, I wrote that book. Oh, there it is. There it ends. And then we have a classic slapstick boy fight. But also it feels like everybody in the background is also fighting.

it somehow turns into Yeah, it's one of those like Paul Paul goes for James They start rassling and flipping around on the ground knocking things over, faces are flying falling into the crowd, people are flying out of their chairs

Maddie is somehow on the ground crawling around trying to get out of the fray answers a phone call from her mother in this moment. Her mother calling her knowing it is during her wedding ceremony says Hey honey, how is the wedding? Was it everything you dreamed of?

Oh, her mother reveals, oh, I'm still in Des Moines. I broke my leg. Don't panic, but I'm in the hospital in Des Moines. Yeah. And she says, but how was the wedding? Was it everything you dreamed of? Then we are midwetting and the chaos has unfolded and Maddie says, I could never have dreamed this up in a hundred years. Fighting as, you know, wraps up somehow.

James gets his stuff and gets out of there and Maddie goes after him James where are you going goes after him Meanwhile Emma comes over to Paul my gosh Paul are you okay But he had I don't know what that doesn't matter Whatever Paul and Emma are together who cares

Maddie runs after James And this is where James I'm like James you fucking piece of shit She goes after him And she's like James wait like don't leave I

I don't know he's just very immediately like I gotta go Maddie I I ruined your wedding I can't be here I gotta go and she's like no you didn't like you this wasn't about you but stay like we like we clearly have something

and he's like I can't it's just this is too much you know motherfucker you've been flirting is so over her and now this The second things get tough, you run away.

Once it becomes real, you're like, ooh, actually, I can't. I can't do it. Yeah, James isn't great. He's just hot. And he's just hot. And it's like he's our fucking lifeboat in a store. Our North Star. He's our North Star.

But she says, no, James, I can't explain it. But I just feel like, because she's realizing this is Bridgett's doing. just like I can't help feel like I know we just met but I think we're meant to be together and he says not like this not like this not like this not like this and he goes to leave and she says

James and they kiss and I watched really closer to be like is this a body double because in the falling for Christmas it was a body double Lindsay Loehan did not actually kiss him but I think they actually kissed I watched I really think they kissed and if I were her I would too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they kiss and he still gets in his car and drives. Oh, dear, this guy.

And so then Maddie gets in her car and she's driving down the road. We're thinking, Maddie, you better not be going after this motherfucker. But no, she's driving to the wishing bench. She gets out and she goes to the bench and she's screaming, Bridget, say Bridget, I need to undo my wish. Say Bridget. Wint. Wint. Yeah, she just, she's just a grishing. honestly a very charming Lindsay performance where she like sits in the bread she's like I'll listen to win I'll take anything I'll take anything just give what you got get what you got

and Bridget pops up and she's like you don't have to scream I'm right here and she says I need to undo my wish and Bridget says well I can't undo it it's already been wished and she's like please please please I need I just I need a new wish and that's when she sits on the bench she's like closing eyes and and I just need to undo my wish I need to undo my wish

I need to undo my wish I need to undo my wish and all of this blowing of wind in her face turns into a blow dryer. She's blowdrying her hair. She's sitting in a chair in her bedroom at the estate, bludering her hair. She stops. She looks around. She gets up.

She says, is anybody in here? Hello? We have very classic little like plinky plunky, um-com music where she like opens the bathroom door and it's like ding. Ding. Bing, bing. And she like pulls back the tower curtain. Nobody's there.

She walks around the... Pulls by the car. Nothing thing. Looking around. Heather walks in and says... And Heather's wearing a bridesmaid's dress. She goes, why aren't you ready? And she opens Maddie's suitcase, pulls out a bridesmaid's dress.

Raw. Raw? Also, you could have just looked at your left hand. That would have been a good... Well, she's going to get there, honey. She's probably going to check every little thing. Yeah. So she goes,

That's a bridesmaid's dress. And Heather says, yeah, and it's supposed to be on the bridesmaid. And then she looks her hands and goes, where'd the ring go? And Heather says, what are you talking about? And she looks at the picture on the dresser and it's Paul and Emma. And she goes, that's Paul and Emma. And Heather's like, yeah, and you need to get ready because they're getting married and you need our bridesmaid. Cut to the wedding.

Yay, Paul and Emma got married. Now Lindsay is wearing a really funny little straw wedding hat. And we're all celebrating so so glad. She sees a photographer and she goes up to him and says, James turns around just another blonde guy. It's not James. Oh, okay, great. James doesn't isn't the photographer in this timeline.

Cool. Got it. After the wedding, she says to Emma, you know, congratulations. It was a perfect wedding. It's so glad you guys are together. You know, she's feeling really great about everything. She's happy. She's not with Paul.

She's in a new, new place. place at the reception afterwards. She's hanging out. Paul comes up to her and says, Maddie, I just got off the phone with my publicist. Sales in the U.S. are doing great. They want us to write another sequel. Now, obviously, I'm going on my honeymoon for a month. So I'm going to need you to crack the story first. And then we'll work on it together when I get back. How does that sound? And she says, well, it depends. Am I going to get co-writing credit? And he says, Maddie, money, money. That's not how this works. I do all the credit. You do the writing. My name sells the books. And we both win. That's why we make such a great team. And she says, actually,

that's not how partnership works. And you're going to have to do this one alone. And he's aghast. And she starts walking out of the venue. And he says, where are you going? And she turns around. she says, I'm going to write my own story. And the rest is still unwritten. And she puts on a stupid ugly outfit heads into town. Um, first of all, okay, also they licensed David Bowie for this scene, which I was shocked. I was like, holy shit. The Netflix budget is crazy.

I was really surprised. And then there is a scene with Heather the friend who has previously had a crush on. Corey. The brother, Paul's. brother and sees him, like, flirting with somebody else and is, like, for one second, like, oh, man. And then sees another cute guy at the wedding and he comes on. And she goes, do you want to dance?

And he says, yeah. And she goes, say less. Actually, I don't, I do point out that because what she does is he comes up to the bar to order a drink. They're standing in the bar. And she turns out, he's hot. And she goes, hi. And he goes, hi.

His voices is so wild. would you like to dance? Yes. Great. Say less. Say less. And they go and they get out there. She is a real person and a real friend.

A real person and a real friend. This is a woman we all know. We all know women like this. And everyone in the movie knows a woman like this. They know this woman. They've met her. She's real. This is why representation on screen is so important.

This is exactly why. Never felt like I could see my self on screen until a character like Heather existed. It's really important. That is really important. Say less. Say less.

And also, okay, I will say, I think this is, as much as I understand the character arc, I think this is extremely rude on his wedding day to say, no, I'm not going to do anything for you anymore. And then leave also your childhood best friend's wedding. Like this is theoretically someone that she's known her whole life and she's just like, now fuck you write your own book. I'm out of here. In this universe, there's been no, they don't know anything.

She's never verbalized any of her problems with either of them. Very good point. And so in this universe, she should have really rude. Like, Paul, like, let's not think about it's your wedding day. Yeah, let's talk about this later. Let's talk about this later. I would love to talk about the next book with you. Congratulations. See you later. But no. But I mean, you know, he is a dick. So I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it works in terms of the movie. But it's in, it's not right. It's not right. It's very rude. And nobody is allowed to talk to me like this in my wedding. I don't know what I've done. Say less. Say less. Say less. So Lindsay puts on a really ugly dress. I wrote down here possibly the ugliest outfit. I'm the ugliest one. And she goes into town. She goes to Scruffy McDougalls. And she goes to Scruffy McDougalls.

And Scruffy McDougalls is so much fun of the Scruffy Murpys. Scurvy McDougals. I could remember what I thought, but I know what Scrappy McDougals, but I like that's a better option. So she goes to Scruffy McDougals and she says, hi, I'm looking for James Thomas. And the Scruffy says, oh, he, you dismissed him. He just left, but maybe, maybe you can catch him. She's, oh, okay, great, thanks.

Goes out in the street, finds him sitting on a bench. Maybe you can catch him. He's sitting right outside. hanging out. She says, is this seat taken? And he, he remembers her now from the bus ride in the airport, right? We're back in the timeline where that much has happened. But he doesn't know that they've fallen in love in another timeline. But she sits down next to him. And he's happy to see her. You know, they had some chemistry before. He said, oh, fans are running into you. She says, it's a small village. And she says, you're a nature photographer, right? He says, yes. She says, okay, I have a question.

I'm doing some research on the Bolivian tree lizard. They're in danger. Did you know that? This is fucked us. It's so funny. Wow, I was actually, I was going to do a job photographing the Bolivian tree lizard, but I turned it down. And she says, oh, why did you turn it down?

He said, well, you know, I met this woman on a bus ride who made me think that maybe I should settle down, stay somewhere for a while. How long are you going to be in Ireland? And at this point, it's like, oh, yeah, I forgot what I said about the lizard. I'm going to be in Ireland indefinitely. I'm writing a book on the Cliffs of Moore. And he says, how, what is that book going to be about?

Like, what is that going to be like? What do you mean? What do you mean? You're writing a book on Cliffs. And how do the lizards factor in? Where does the research come into play? But he says, oh, wow, that's one of the ones. my favorite places. She said, this is one of mine too. Maybe sometime we go together. And he says,

I'd like that. And we pan out, see them chatting on their little bench. And that's the end of the movie. 10 out of 10, 20 out of 10. Salute. Perfect film. Slam. Sunk of a movie. We're clocking in that two hours. And I'm not done. I've got some post movie thoughts. I think there's more to say. There's more to say. For sure, traditional family values. But I feel like she was hedging her bets when it comes to the values of time travelers. I have to say, because she was a little bit using her prior knowledge. She was absolutely manipulating the situation.

Yes. That's why I mean. It's fucked up. We got to put that hemline a little bit lower, Lindsay Lohan, if you're going to be supporting this kind of manipulative behavior amongst time travelers. like okay so let's let's imagine you and the whole deal is like you're going to fall in love right you're gonna like in this movie i was thinking the the storyline with paul even though she loses a year of her life feels like has to be the narrative she stays in because now what it's going to be is she's

she's going to spend the rest of her life with james and never be able to tell him like by the way i had a magical experience where we met and fell in love like maybe she did she does eventually tell him that. But I mean, there's no way that he would believe her. Maybe in this universe he would. Yeah, I guess so. Maybe he would. So that's just interesting, you know.

That is the funny thing the whole time in the movie. I wasn't thinking this necessarily while watching the movie, but while listening to you, Emily recap the movie, I was the whole time I was like, what would be the choice made as someone who is actually living? Do you know what I mean? It's like while I was watching it, thrilled to watch the choices made by Lindsay Lohan in the movie itself. Because those are the movie choices and I loved them. But also like, what would the movie be if it was a real human, a real person?

This dovetails nicely into a question I had written down that I want to ask you guys. Okay. Which is what is your Irish wish? Oh, what would we wish? And two separate answers. One, like, who would you want to marry that secretly you know is not right for you? And you could, like, walk down that path a little bit and find out that no, it's not right. And then alternatively, any wish of, like, a life change that you'd be curious to see, even though deep down, you know it's not quite right for you.

But you'd kind of just like to see what it would feel like. Infinite wealth. Yeah, that's a real good one. I know it would actually like destroy me and be not right, but I'm Irish wishing that for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, there's no better choice except infinite wealth because that's the problem. I feel like I go through this almost daily where it's like, if I could have anything, what would I what would I want?

And it's like the second you go down that path, you're like, oh, I got to solve a lot of problems in the world. Oh, shit. Now it's a lot of responsibility. Yeah. Honestly, I feel like I would Irish wish away like a lot of, I would pretty much keep my life as is, but like do a couple little swaps. I'd be like a bigger house, but the rent isn't stressful. Or, sorry, if I'm wishing, I own it. And the mortgage just made off.

Cheaper rent is a very funny Irish rich. Cheaper rent, nice for house. Nice for a house. I still my rent. You almost have to put constraints on it though because if you or like you have to make a wish within five seconds. Because if you let yourself think. Yeah. It's hard when you have to do fast.

It's like, oh shit. Like there's so much. There's so many problems. My first thought was being famous. Like I would like to feel what that would be like for a little bit. And then I could definitely see how within 24 to 48 hours I would discover that it was really not for me. I think I wouldn't even, I would want to be like, I would want to like be famous at the Oscars like once. Yeah.

Like I wouldn't just want to be famous in like, have to go to the grocery store. That would suck. I'd want to be like in at a big important event and like I'm important. No, no. That's a really good point. I think that I wouldn't want to be famous because I hate, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, hate that idea but I want to be really good at something really really talented at anything anything like Beethoven level are we talking yeah like that would be cool to feel like a prodigy at

yeah because if it's just for a couple days you could just fucking go hard and just do physics for like two days and I'd be like, cool. So hard for a couple days. I'm done. I'm out. I did all the physics I ever need to do. You guys should have seen me. I was so good at it.

And I got my fill. I'm so good at it for a little bit there. Okay. And then my, the other half of it is. What is yours? Sammy? Did you be famous? Oh, you said famous.

Okay, okay. But the other half of it is like specifically if it has to be marrying someone. Who are you Irish wish? marrying bonus points if it's an Irish person. Ooh. I don't want to marry

Killian Murphy. Mine would be Killian Murphy. But that's part of it is that you know that it's not going to be right. Yeah. It's still be Canadian Murphy.

I don't think Killion Murphy and I are actually a match, unfortunately. Yeah. I love them a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard because I don't I don't really have like a big crush in this moment. Either. I would love to have a crush on someone. I have a crush on this guy now. I have so many crushes on everybody. It's so bad.

I have a big crush on this guy. But, okay, yeah, say Ed Spielers then. Ed Spielers is so funny. If I could Irish wish anything, it would be to be marrying Ed Spielers. Mrs. Emily Spellers. Mrs. Edward Speilers. Has a nice ring to it. I'm really trying to wonder.

Emily Gonzalez Speilers. Cocks speilers Coss beers I would change my Cogs peeler's I would want to sacrifice my last name so I'd change my first name.

You changed your first name to Cox This is my wife Mrs. Coxpeelers Don't laugh when you mean my wife Don't laugh at you mean Sorry that's so funny Please don't laugh when you meet her

If I now set up my wedding. And now for the first time, I was a couple. Mr. Mrs. Cox Speilers. Cox Speilers and Edward Speilers. Don't laugh. Don't laugh at my wife. I wish that I had a big enough crush on anyone to know that I would have an answer to this. It's funny because as I was thinking about it, I was like, hey, who's someone that like you have a crush on?

But you know, in reality, it wouldn't work. But I do too much legwork to like convince myself that they would all work. So I was like, well, no, like, I thought that'll part. Because that'll work. I thought Paul Meskell. And I was like, no, that would work. Like, I wouldn't want to wish my way back out of that. Andrew Scott.

He's gay. And so that could Irish wish work. but it's also like, I don't know, maybe we could figure out a nice agreement. Yeah. I just feel like, okay, here's my thing. I think that any actor I would have a crush on, I wouldn't actually have a crush on in real life. Right. It's the action about the person.

But then that's a perfect Irish wish. No, no, but I would have, I want to know, I would have a crush on like the writers or like whoever, who I don't know who they are. Do you know what I mean? It's like, but I don't even have a way of knowing who they are. The Paul Kennedy's of the Irish Wish universe, they'd be very, very famous.

Yeah. So my Irish wish would just be like, my Irish wish would just be like, I wish I was with the person that was perfect for me. Mm. You are. Can you Irish wish that?

And then it would be Tim Hamlin and I would say, I'm changing my name to Cox Hamlin. No matter what, you have to change your first name to Cox. That's part of the Irish wish. That's part of it. That's part of it.

Tim and Cox. Samlin. What a fucking perfect movie. God, it was, God, it's so good. I can't wait to watch it again. I can't wait to take it live. Oh, I can't wait to take the show on the road, baby. Bring it to all of you guys in person day after day. Day after day. Every day. It's going to be incredible. You know, I might watch it again tonight. Yeah. I do need to choose a movie to watch tonight. It's Friday night as we're recording this. Yeah And could be Irish wish Could be an Irish wish kind of night

I don't see any other options There are no other movies available No it's the one The one true movie Wow yeah it was really good Perfect perfect Perfect name Thank you Emily for leading that

That was incredible God Oh wait sorry I do have one last thing to say Which is that I have, I'm reading the new Tana French book. It's called the Hunter. Tana French is an Irish author. And so obviously, all of her books are, I guess not obviously, but all of her books are set in Ireland. And reading that and then watching this, you guys know, I love Ireland. I love Irish people. I am a little bit Irish. I'm more British, unfortunately, but I'm obsessed with Ireland and Irish people. And in a way that feels like, a deep, deep, deep longing for something that I'll never have. And it's, yes, like, but, but for wanting it to be my homeland.

Like, I want to already be Irish and be like in on all the Irish. That's not going to happen, yeah. Yes. And that, I mean, if you moved there, you could really, you could become expat Irish, you know. Yeah, but I want to be like born and raised generational. Yeah, I could lie And in lying, you could eventually lie to yourself.

Yeah, that's a great point. That's really beautiful. But it had me thinking about you know how in different languages there's words that capture something that English words can't and I had this memory of that there was a word

that meant longing for a reality that doesn't exist or can't exist and it was hard to find. I really Googled. I was like, how do I, what do I type is? Irish wish. There are a couple ones that I found. So there's Soudad, which is in Portuguese,

and obviously I'll probably be pronouncing these all incorrectly. It's S-A-U-D-A-D-E-Sodade. Portuguese, it's a hard language to pronounce. But this definition means loosely missing something that doesn't exist. Oh. There is a Welsh word. Heraith. Hireth. H-I-R-A-E-T-H-I-T-H. A homesicknessness for somewhere you have never been. Oh, sad. Ooh. Sad. Nostalgia and grief for the lost places that you never were. Whoa.

Wait, I want this word for everything you're saying, Sammy, except it's a person. I didn't do any Googling for that, so I don't have that. But I have one more. It's German. This is, I think, the one that I initially remembered and was searching for. It's Fernway. F-E-R-N-W-H. Does he speak a little German?

Is speak a bit of Deutsch, yeah? Oh, my God. A Nazi is. does it in our midst. The Nazi is in our midst. That's right. No. It's not right.

It's not right. I'm sorry. That's not a funny joke. That's not right. That's not why I'm learning German. So it's the opposite of homesickness. I guess it's pretty similar to the last one. It says it's a consuming longing to be somewhere you've never been and aching to be in a distant and unknown land in

ambiguous yearning for anything anywhere else as anyone else. That sounds very German to me. Yeah. I want to be somewhere else as someone else. Yeah. You know, the German words are usually like 35 letters long, too. They're just enormous words. But anyway, so Irish Wish, as much as, you know, people can make fun of it was making me feel

some real feelings. Yeah. Yeah, mostly that I want to be born and raised Irish. And I want to be in on all. We need to go to Ireland so badly. The Irish, I don't know. Secrets? Secrets.

I wouldn't know the secrets. Like if you sit on this bench, you will get an Irish wish. I want to have personal access to the Guinness Lake because we're close personal friends. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the moral of the story is we're going to Ireland. Is that too much to ask? Please, anybody out there that wants to fund and plan a trip for the three of us to go to Ireland, we will talk about Irish Wish to you. Is that too much to ask? Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

No. I loved it. Hope you guys enjoyed this recap of a film that is not a horror film, but it is a little bit scary at times. It makes you feel the same feelings you would feel watching a horror film. Yeah. It sticks with you. It really does. It gets under your skin, you know? Please go watch it.

Everybody go watch it. Go watch it. The more that people stream it, the more. likely it is we'll get an Irish wish too. And obviously we're making Irish wish again separate to a sequel, a remake. Irish wish again. Re Irish wish. The Irishishish-Rish-Rish that you could wish Irish-Rewish. Irish re-wish. Well, you know, we'll workshop it, but it's coming. It's coming. Until then, we love you guys. We love you guys. We barely did any Irish accents in this, to be honest.

Oh, we love you so much. Oh, hey, thanks for tuning in. Thanks for tuning in. Have a great. Thanks for taking a look at this here of age. Oh, we love you. Oh, we love you. Have a great week.

I love you. Oh, love you a bit. Oh, goodbye. Oh, goodbye. We did it. We made it. Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show,

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