Too Scary; Didn't Watch - RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

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This is a headgum podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy. And you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to.

and Helchella 3 is just around the corner. It's just around the corner. I'm getting really excited. We just, we're fresh off a Helcella meeting. We're ironing out all the kinks. We're cooking, baby. We're cooking. I'm fired up.

So, yeah, I guess a quick, not really update, more of a reminder. Helchella 3, triples is best. Triples is best. Triples makes it safe. It's coming in August. All of August and September episodes will be Hellchell 3 related. More details to come. Merch to come.

Really exciting guests to come. It'll be mostly new releases with a couple. A couple of little sprinkly treats. A couple curveballs in there, I got to say. Because maybe all each of us are handling a portion of the recaps. So maybe some of us, maybe some of us need a couple softballs. We're going to make it fun. We're going to make it fun.

Everything's part of the canon. Everything is part of the horror canon. Don't worry. We're all important stuff. We're going to do it right. We're going to do it right. I can't wait. I can't freaking wait.

Stay tuned. Details to come. But now, Emily and Henley, tell me, did anything scary happen to you this week? Well, I just got to travel to. to my favorite place in the world, Los Angeles, to see my favorite people in the world, the two of you,

two of you. Which made me so happy to see you, and I got to give you your very important Christmas gifts that I have only seven months late. It's a mug of May's school picture that says world's best godmother. It's my Sunday mug. It's my Sunday mug.

And she insisted on wearing her this like Christmas dress that's for definitely when she's like six years old. It's not for a two year old. And it looks like a from 1985, like a Christmas dress from 1985. Yeah, like if this were a sepia toned image, this could be time. You wouldn't know where this child is from. Yeah, it could be any, it could be the 1700s. Um, so I just have to say that May when she went upstairs to get me my mug. She looked through the rungs of the banister and she went, I'm going to be. I'm going to. got your present and had the big smile. She's a big cheesy smile. She's tender. It shows all her teeth. She shows all her teeth. So Silas and may have the time of their life on this trip. They get to hang out with all their cool older cousins.

They just run around in a pack. And Silas is like, Energizer Bunny. He's out of his mind. He's having so much fun. Just like sparks flying off of him. He couldn't be more amped. and just ready to go, like doesn't want to sleep, wants to just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

And Tim's family's so big that we rent houses kind of like all over the beach. And they were pretty close to each other this year. So Silas and Ricky, we let them, like, go to their cousin's house on their own. We were just, like, watched and make sure that they, you know, got there. Silas, one of the times he was going, ran was running so fast barefoot on the boardwalk,

running as fast as he possibly could. I, like, saw him stumble a little bit. Like, he, like, stubbed his, I could see he stubbed his toe. But he just kept going. Like, he just kept going. It didn't break stride. I later hear from Claire, Tim's cousin, that he, like, ran into their house gushing blood. Blood everywhere. Blood everywhere. She was like, Silas, buddy, what happened? You Okay? And he was like, oh, I just stub my child. It's no big deal. And he, like, sat down, like, play Uno. you like to want to play, you know. Claire was like, we have to look at that. You guys, a full, like, chunk of his toe came off. Like, like, the front, like the front part of his toe, it just like, it just like, oh my God. The adrenaline is just absolutely coursing through his veins. He can't even

feel like a chunk of his toe cups off. Give me in. So he's totally fine. Like, he's completely fine. He's obviously, it was a painless experience because he was so distracted by his cousins. But Claire like, Clare like patched him up and like put a bunch of band-aids on it and like cleaned it all up and everything. So if an age how just runs into your house gushing blood. It's like, no, demanding games. I just don't my toe.

It's not a big deal. Like don't make this a bigger deal that it needs to be and don't interrupt my own game. Relax. I'm here to play some. Look. Yes. Am I bleeding? Yes.

We're not going to deal with it right now. There are more important things. Um, yeah. Luckily that was that was. that was the only injury. That's good. Is that true besides various people being bit by May? But that's, you know, that's just...

She got a lot of teeth. That was the previously mentioned. She got a lot of teeth and she's got a lot of feelings. My favorite moment was I was in charge of buying the presents from Emily and I. We didn't want to come empty-handed. You've got a bribe. You've got a lot of bribe children. I bought a lot of shirts. She just bought so many shirts.

Tell every child's favorite toy. You know. I was happy. I wanted the shirt. They were very cute and good and you did a great job. But when May was opening her present, Silas had already opened his, which, to be fair, I got him way too many things. And it was because as I went, I got the better ones. Like the Dodger's shirt came later.

Oh, he insisted on wearing that a bunch, by the way. He wore that Dodgers shirt like all week. It's a really good shirt. Great. And I was basically just too lazy to go and put back the previous shirt. that I had grabbed. And so I was like, this is getting to be a lot of shirts. But I'm not, the Dodger's shirt has to stay and I'm not going and putting other things back.

So anyways, May was opening her present and it also had shirts. And Silas goes, so many shirts. He got your ass. Oh, man. I love it. I need it. He needs shirts. As you guys know, so funny.

Both of them do. I told you, we already had to throw out two of May's shirts because she threw up on them. So two of the ones that you bought her. Is the Dodgers dress okay? The Dodgers dress is okay. Wow. Foof. She's going to need that.

Foof. You guys are the best, the best godmother's ever. It says it. We have proof on our mugs. So many shirts. So many shirts. I'd never make you that mistake again. We were all thinking it, Silas.

We were all learning. I learned my lesson. But the shirts were cool. I think I just kept being like, this shirt glows in the dark. We got to get that one. Love that shit. Love it.

Love it. Thank you guys. I love you. What about you besides all the shirt giving? What else did you guys do? It's getting absolutely fucking roasted by Silas. Guys, my skin's changing? In what way?

So you may have heard, huge news alert, but talking about it constantly for a long time is that I moved. And my skin was, having breakouts in in ways that it like literally never has before and I was like maybe it's the move maybe it's like this dust and shit and I'm like getting sweaty and but it's like it's like it's been like along my jaw line I have we had these crazy breakouts and everything I'm looking

up is like it's it's hormonal it's hormone changes it's hormone changes and I'm like the fuck's why are my hormones changing what the fuck like what what's changing it's really thrown me for a loop because it's just like it's just not what I have you know I've had this I've had this skin for 35 years I know what it does. and all of a sudden it's doing something different. I don't like that. Yeah. No.

So I was like, when I was like, hormone changes, hormone changes. I started Googling like, when can premenopause start? Like, am I, are my hormones like changing? Look, it's probably not premenopause. But like, you know, it could be starting. It could be starting soon. I've Googled premenopause. We're in a territory where it could technically start.

Many a time, yeah. Technically, it'd be like, it'd be early. It'd be really early. It'd be really early. It'd be so early. It'd be so early. It'd be so early because I'm a baby. But it's not like outside of the realm of possibility.

But even so I'm like the fact that it's like, well, yeah, it's just your hormones. I'm like, I'm really not looking forward to it. The fuck does that mean? Like what does that? What do you mean? Hormone shit is so crazy. I've also like, what am I supposed to do with that information? It's getting targeted things now about hormones.

And when I say that I mean a video of Penelope Cruz talking about menopause. Yeah. Which I really enjoyed listening to her talk to the experience of menopause. Hey, it's coming for all of us. Yeah. And like, yeah, I don't know. I just, I, look, I've, you know, I've been blessed. I've been blessed with relatively few skin problems in my life other than just a very,

very, very, very sensy sunburny skin. But like, I've never really had big noticeable, like, you know, and I'm just like what's happening? It's very confusing. Skin stuff sucks so bad. Is it like cystic acne? I don't, I don't. I don't, it's, I know.

I think it's kind of, in fact, it was actually, they're painful, but it was, it was mostly a bunch of little guys that almost like didn't even feel like anything. It's just like, like my fate, I saw I got a facial yesterday. She's just called, calling it texture. texture. And I was like, what's this? What, what do you, what is this now? What am I supposed to do about it? I mean, she cleaned me up good, but I'm like, is this. This is going to keep happening? So I, of course, bought like a whole, I bought a whole slew of products. her yesterday. Maybe it'll change my life. But it's just like, I just never, I just don't. I know. The hormone stuff. It's so complicated. What's going on in there? What's going on in there? I don't know. And I've also had an IUD for so long that I'm like, if things were changing, I wouldn't know.

Right. You know? So like what is happening? Oh, right. Because you don't get your period. I don't get my period. I haven't for like nine years, which is crazy. That is crazy. And maybe not good, but. I wish I, well, no, I shouldn't say that. Now I'm going to get menopause.

I don't want my period. Now I'm going to get metapause. I'm going to get metapause. They, the committee. I don't know. It's just, there's, it's just, you know, I just, I don't like things happening in my body that I don't understand. Skin stuff specifically sucks so bad because it's like visible and you feel self-confical.

I got like acne in my 20s randomly and like my mid-examination. in like my mid-20s for a while. Yeah. Well, I say it's gonna change every seven years but I'm like starting it when. Like,

and what's the cycle? Right. I had to go on Accutane twice, you guys. I went on in my teens and when I was in college. Yeah. Well,

Accutane is really fucking intense. I know. It gave me like a full blown mental breakdown, but it was worth it. It gave Kendall Jenner a nose job. Oh, because it makes your nose smaller?

Acutane nose is like a thing. Yeah. It makes your nose smaller. When she recently went on a podcast saying She'd never had any work done. Everyone's like, explain your nose. And then there was a whole, I saw a bunch of things I learned about acutane nose.

I don't know, you guys. I don't know. I didn't know this. My nose did not get smaller, unfortunately. It got bigger, I'm pretty sure. Well, there's some links to ulcerative colitis with acutane. Oh, God. Well, because it's really, it's like, it's really intense, like chemical shit on it.

It's just, yeah, I don't know. What's happening to my hormones? I can tell me. certainly nobody can is actually the deal. Like a doctor's not going to be able to tell me. No one's going to be able to tell me. There are more doctors specializing in hormone treatment. There's more information about it than there used to be.

But it's still tough out there. I do hear that once we go through menopause, we will never feel better. We've never felt better. Yeah. I do think once you get on the other side of it. On the other side, apparently it's really great over there. But that's like 15 years until that. Maybe I want it to be starting now.

So then it's over faster. 15 years? I'm telling you. It goes for a really long time. I'm fucking telling you. It is crazy to be in this body. Be in this body. Okay.

Perimenopause lasts two to eight years. And two to eight is a huge window. And how long does regular menopause? It can start late 30s, early 40s, but that's like, that's early. the whole thing typically lasts seven to 14 years. I don't like that window. I don't like that window. No, because there's so many things you get brain fog and I already, I'm already

have so much brain fog. Because it was like, well, you have trouble sleeping and you have brain fog and you have maybe you've had acne and I was like, I have all those things. Exactly. I'm going to get those more. I'm stupid. I can't sleep and my skin looks like shit. I'm in menopause.

And hot flashes. We like can't handle your body. Can't regulate temperature. That was the one thing that I was like, well, I'm always cold. So I'm simply not going through menopause. And just like flashes of rage. Sometimes you're just like injected with a feeling of rage apparently. So that's also something we can look forward to.

Wow. That'll be new for me. Me too. Never felt it in my life. I love feeling rage. Oh, you guys. It's fine. Everything's fine.

But like having a body. Yeah. A changing body. A changing body. And it's like you think you're done with that. I'm not going through puberty. But I guess we're never going. Your body keeps changing.

It's a living, breathing. thing with a frigging mind of its own. Your body's a wonderland. Scary. Scary. Scary. Sammy. Anything scary happened to you this week?

I can't remember if I've talked to you guys about this, but this year is my 20th high school reunion. Wow. And I wonder how many people there have gone through perimenopause. I'll ask around. But I hadn't heard a peep about it. And I was feeling like excited about the idea of going to a 20th year reunion. Yeah.

And I texted one of my friends that I went to high school with. And she was like, oh, yeah, it was like in November or it's going to be in November, but not enough people signed up. So they had, they like lost the venue and they have to find a new place to do it. And this person is organizing it. And I immediately started spiraling like, well, does this person hate me? Why didn't they reach out to me personally? Yeah, what the fuck?

Was I not invited or informed? Seems like you've heard a lot about this reunion. I haven't heard anything. And then I like fully went back into high school brain and was like remembering all the people that like have ever been mad at me or that I ever had bad blood with. And I'm like, oh my God, like they probably all still hate me. strongly. No, I was like, well, I can't go because everybody hates me.

No. Wait, were you actually not invited? That doesn't make any sense. Don't they have to invite everyone? I don't think so, but I'm not actively on Facebook. I do have a Facebook now because of Facebook marketplace. So it's possible that they sent me a message and I didn't see it because I don't do any of that on Facebook. I just ignore everything except for the marketplace.

Did they do a Facebook invite for your? Probably. It's also such a weird way to do it because who uses Facebook? Some people really do. I also got a Facebook. I made a new one for Facebook marketplace. And the only friend requests I've gotten are two separate friend requests from two separate accounts from my estranged uncle. Yeah, that sounds right.

That's exactly he uses Facebook. That's the perfect description of he uses Facebook. Well, I already didn't say yes to you the one time. I'm not going to do it again. Also, I'd not dang yes to anybody. Yeah. But some people really do use Facebook. though. And I'm also like, yeah, because it's like, what, you don't have everybody's emails. How

is you supposed to do it? Yeah, but social media is the only way to do it. I know, but I would never check Facebook. If anyone's trying to reach out to me on Facebook, I'm never going to see it or get back to you. Well, they also had a post on my high school's website. There's like an alumni page with like bulletin posts. You know, I've never thought to see if my high school has a website. Yeah. I don't. Doesn't really. come straight to mind to think to do that. So in a way, it was public knowledge, publicly accessible knowledge. They have a website. But I'm still upset that it wasn't relayed to me directly. Or again, maybe it was in my Facebook messages. I just didn't see them. So is it canceled? Is it not happening

anyway? You know, I don't know. And now I'm feeling sensitive about it now. So I'm, now you're pissed off. And you're like, I'll show them. I'm not going to go to this thing that I don't even know if I was in too. Oh, just funny how high school drama. Yeah, you just revert back to your high school. Apparently. Yeah, it doesn't ever really go away. I had a little mini high school reunion the other week. Did I talk about that already on the podcast? It was so nice. And it was also, I hadn't seen any of those people. I don't follow them on social media at all. And it was so like, it was just like a small gathering. There were maybe like 12 of us. It was so. It was so. It was just like a small gathering there. maybe like 12 of us.

But it was so funny how it was like, oh my God, no one's changed at all. Everyone's exactly the same. They look the same. Like it was, but in like a nice way where it was like, oh yeah. It's like familiar and it makes a lot of sense. That is nice. Mine's not going to be like that. Apparently three people from my class though.

And there are only like 70 people in my class. Three people in my class ran for office as Republicans. All three of them lost in various ways. Nice. I was like, that's shocking. Huh. Anywho. Anywho.

It is really crazy how some stuff just never goes away. Yeah. It's always the same. You guys want to head back to Raccoon City? I would love nothing more than to head back to Raccoon City. Great, because today we are. Talking about Resident Evil Apocalypse. Oh boy.

The second Resident Evil film directed by Alexander Witt, written by Paul W.S. Anderson, starring Mila Jovovich, Cianna Gilleri, Thomas Kretschman, and Jared Harris. Whoa. Can you believe it? Hello, Jared. Chancy seeing you here. Unexpected to see you in Raccoon City. Hello. Wait, who's Jared Harris?

Who's that again? Love of Sammy's life. I love Jared Harris. Lane Price from Madman. Oh. Among many other things. Chernobyl.

He's in a lot of stuff, but I love him in the terror. Great actor. Well, he's in Poltergeist. Oh, 2015 Poltergeist. This movie has an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Wow, we. I liked it. I liked it. Great. I thought it was better than the first one, which has 36% on rotten tomatoes. So I demand a recount. 36% on Metacritic and a 6.1 on IMDB. The budget was 45 million. It made $129.3 million. Okay. But I did see something refer to it as a box office flop. So sometimes the like marketing budget. are not included in these budgets and it actually doesn't have as much profit as it seems.

But looking at these numbers, this seems like a success to me. And they did continue making many more of these movies. How many of these movies are there? I think there's six. I mean, not including Zach Craigers that's coming out later this year. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. I believe there's six.

And obviously there's a bunch of video games. They're based on video games. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that we don't have to say it. We barely even have to say it. Yeah. Some trivia for us. As in the first film, the zombies were mainly all professional dancers.

I just thought this was interesting. They attended an undead boot camp where the two cardinal rules were no dragging feet and no outstretched arms. Okay. Kind of fun zombie rules. Yeah, doing things a little different this time. I like that. Yeah, the no dragging feet surprised me.

I know. How do they get away with not dragging their feet around and still looking like zombies? It's pretty standard zombie move, but I guess they didn't want that. What are their feet doing in the film? Can you describe their feet? Stepping. Step in. They really pick them up.

Getting full air. Marinet style. A lift and a flop. a lift and a flop. That's right. It's hard for me to picture this. I'm going to have to get a visual on it at some point. Mila Yovovich has said that she was disappointed by this movie.

She doesn't like it. Okay. Interesting. Mila. Studio wanted more action and explosions, and she believes the story was swept under the rug. Again, I think it was better than the first one. I thought the action was pretty good

And no one's coming to these movies for the stories No, Mila And there is a story It's thin But it's there Is it the apocalypse is happening? Is that the story? Sort of.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. That's right for me. Zombies are still here. Uh-oh. Also, I'm going to these movies for the story. Yeah. That's what I'm there for.

I'm going for the foot movement. This is also the only resident evil film to depict Alice. That's Mila's character. Smoking cigarettes. Oh my God. Now that's not cool. She was trying to quit in real life and successfully quit by 2007. This movie was 2004.

Oh, it's a long road. I just thought this was a very funny trivia to include. Just tracking her. addiction. When did she quit? We're all trying to know. We're all trying to know. We're all trying to know. Give us a timeline. There's dogs in this one again. And guess what? Just like the first one, they were trying to lick off their prosthetics. They're like, well, let's just give it another try. Yeah, this time. Let's see if we can make it happen this time. To be fair, does not say that they used meat, actual meat, because if you'll recall in the first movie, they covered the dogs in meat,

which the dogs then kept trying to eat. Sure. This just says makeup and prosthetics, but the dogs were still trying to lick it off, which makes sense because if you have a pet, you know, if they have anything kind of unusual on them, they're going to try to get it off of them. And usually that, the tongue is, you know, they don't, they can't, they don't have pain. of thumbs, yeah. So.

50s are mouths. Exactly. Paul W.S. Anderson wrote and directed the first one. Voluntarily bowed out of directing this one because he was too busy prepping for Alien versus Predator. Wow. Another smash. A phenomenal film.

An absolute undisputed smash. I want another Alien versus Predator so bad. I mean, there's, I'm going to say there's a 100% chance we get another alien versus prejudged movie at some. I'm ready. I'm ready for it. Kind of can't lose because like they're bad movies and my brain is prepped for that. So if you give me another bad movie, I'm going to be like, okay, well, this is part. Just what I thought. Yeah. And if you make a good movie, I'm going to be blown away. Right. Keep your expectations low and you'll always be happy. Yep. Exactly. We're going to watch the trailer after the episode.

So that'll be available on our Patreon if you're interested. Let's just get right into this recap. What do you say? Oh my gosh. I say, yay. Yay. You guys, it's summer. And you know what that means?

I forgot how to dress myself. This happens every season change. I forget how to dress for warm weather. You'd think I'd have figured it out. I live in L.A. It's pretty warm year round. But it has been. bit chilly this spring. So thank God for quince. They make elevated essentials using premium

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Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash Too Scary for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash too scary. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that.

Exactly. No, all good, all good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah. And we host the show, what's our podcast here on HeadGum. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web.

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hell sounds easy anybody could do it all right we begin conveniently with a basically montage recap of the first film We needed that. We get voiceover from Mila saying, my name is Alice. I work for the Umbrella Corporation. Umbrella Corporation is an evil corporation, super powerful, bad, doing nasty work. Completely fictional thing that doesn't happen in real life. She references the hive from the first movie is where they were doing that experimentation.

on viral weaponry, which is what caused this zombie virus outbreak. It's the T-virus. Totally fake. And it'll never happen in real life. There's no chance that would ever happen. She says the virus escaped and everyone died, but unfortunately they didn't stay dead. We get a reminder of Matt was the environmental scientist that was kind of undercover in the hive trying to expose the umbrella corporation for being bad crimes against humanity

and at the end of the movie they get they make it out of the hive and they seal it all shut but then they are captured by people from the umbrella corporation again alice is they're separated and Matt has been scratched by one of the monster dog guys, not the dog dogs, but the ones that look like. Oh, the big, the big crazy like dog man, the dog man. Yeah, yeah. And so as he's being wheeled away, we hear the doctors being like, he's mutating. We don't see what happens to him.

Alice is taken into a separate room. She's hearing them say, we got to open up the hive. and see what happened down there. And we're like, no, don't do that. We've got to open up the hive and see what happened down there. And ultimately at the end of the last movie, she wakes up and the place is empty. She goes out into the street and sees absolute chaos. Obviously, the T-virus has spread all through Raccoon City.

Ends with her, like, cock and a shotgun. and she's ready, ready to roll this again. So we kind of go back a little bit in, just a little bit in time. We see like what's going on in Raccoon City right before the T-Virus outbreak. We get a like weather report lady saying that it's this heat wave is continuing. The heat wave was included to justify some of the outfits the women are wearing. Because you're so scantily clad. Yes.

Oh, my God. And the men, too, of course, right? The men too. No, like turtlenecks in, turtlenecks in suits. The heat wave, the female dominates females. The females are in heat. The weather pattern is doing something crazy to estrogen. You know how hormones are.

Hey, your skin changes every seven years. And for these ladies, it's hot. We see the umbrella corporation folks going down to the hive and opening it up, and it is comically, like immediately, they're all just taken down by zombies, gets out real quick. We go to a house knock on the door. Jared Harris opens the door. Oh, hell yeah, baby. They're like, sir, we've got to get you to a safer location. Do you the president of Raccoon City?

You know, he's a scientist for the umbrella corporation. No, so he's bad. No, we don't get the vibe that he's bad, but. He might be put in some morally complicated situation. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's important to the umbrella corporation. Yes, and they say there's been an incident.

We need to get you out of here. He is in a wheelchair. And he says, we need to get my daughter. I'm not leaving without my daughter. and they say someone's getting her as well. Let's go. We cut to the daughter being pulled out of school by a man in a suit, a turtleneck sweatshirt.

Not affected by the heat wave. He wraps his scarf tightly around him. Is the daughter in a bikini? No, she is in a school outfit. This girl, no idea. Twelve. You're asking the wrong group. How old is Jared Harris?

In my head, Jared Harris is 60 always. He's probably 40. What year did this movie come out? 2004. Right. Okay, so 20 years before he was 60. 20 years before 60 would make him 40. Okay.

She gets into the car with this guy, and they immediately get into a horrible car accident. There is chaos outbreak happening in the city, so it looks like a kind of out of control, semi-truck, like plows into them. But we see that she survives. We see that she's like wounded but alive. Other guys dead. So, uh-oh. What's she going to do? How's she going to get out of this one?

Then we get a little Kyra on that says 13 hours later. We get a scantily dressed police officer, I think. Well, in her summer uniform. named Jill Valentine. Sure. Yeah. A real cop. A real cop.

Is this a stripper? Is this a stripper dressed like a cop? She's wearing like a tube top and a miniskirt, but big combat boots. She's a police officer? You know, I'm actually unclear. She's in a police station and she seems to know everybody. So maybe she's just been detained there multiple times. Well, she's got guns.

And everyone's like... Listening to her. Yeah. The other police officers are like, Valentine, come on in. And there's zombies in the police station. She's shooting them. There's another police officer named Peyton. And they're maybe partners.

I don't know. By the way, I woke up at 7.30 a.m. to watch this movie this morning. Yeah, thank you. So... Do the Lord's work. So this is going to be loose. We're seeing news on the TVs in the background saying like,

oh, chaos in the streets a deadly crime spree with no end. They don't know what's happening. It's crazy. out there and then we see Alice where we left her in the streets with her shotgun. And we're hearing that the umbrella corporation, I think, is sealing the city seems like something the government should do. And that's not what they are. But they're like, seem to be in charge of everything.

Right. They're secretly the government. Right. The government works for the umbrella company. Yeah. So we're seeing a lot of people in like umbrella corporation, like combat suits with a little umbrella logo on the shoulder. And the women's all have tube tops. The women's in combat uniforms.

And that's why people say that feminism is no longer needed. Correct. Because of movies like this where they're like, she's embracing her body. She's embracing her sexuality. You're trying to say a woman can't wear a tube top to work if she doesn't want? too. Now that's anti-feminist. I'm saying that we've reached peak liberty, that we can just wear a tube top anytime we fucking want to. That means that we don't need anything else.

I have a tube top freedom. Tube top freedom equals full freedom. Toot-tub-top freedom now. Tube-top freedom now. We demand tube-tops. Tube-top freedom now. That's going to be my sign for the next no king's mark. Two-top freedom now. Let us wear two-tops.

The women demand two-top freedom. Women need two-tops. Let me wear a horizontal rectangle if I want to. So we see that the city is being sealed, and the only way in or out is this bridge. It's like an island city. And you have to go through like a health checkpoint to get in or out. Well, they're just like evacuating people. But obviously there's thousands and thousands of people in this city.

So we're seeing this bridge real backed up. People are panicking. The vibes are bad, bad, bad, bad. Simultaneously, we're seeing some like military-looking guys trying to rescue people in the city. they're in a helicopter. It doesn't really matter. One of these guys is named Carlos, and he'll come back later. So we don't need to worry about him right now, but just know that he's kind of there doing

stuff. Okay, flagging Carlos. And he's like a military guy or he's an umbrella corporation guy? But he's part of something called Stars, I think, which some of those letters stand for search and rescue. So I don't think he, like, works directly for the umbrella corporation. but he is armed and military looking. Got it.

And in this scene, we see that he gets bitten while trying to rescue someone. But remember, from the last movie, there is a cure to this. There is an antidote. I don't think that's public knowledge, though. Okay. And I don't think he even knows what being bitten means. So he's not, like, freaking out that he's bitten. Wait, can you remind the rules of being bitten, like the rules of these zombies?

Yeah. If you get bitten, you're going to turn into a zombie. Bitten or scratched. How long does it taste? Like it takes a little bit, though? It takes a while, yeah. I mean, I think it takes however long. Long the movie wants it to take off.

Yeah, I think it varies based on the scene. It takes over long suits the narrative. Exactly. And then to kill them, you got to do a head shot. Shot to the head? Yep, yep. Okay. And sorry, they're fast, right?

They're fast, these ones? Yeah. And they're like regular human speed. They don't seem to have like... They're not supercharged or... They're not like World War Z or... No, they're not like World War Z and they're not also not like slowed by rigor mortis. They're just like regular mortis.

They're just like regular. regular human speed. Got it, got it, got, got. And their feet are going up and down. Up and down. Up and they're marching. They're prancing. They're marching, prancing.

Everything but skipping. Skipping. They're the cutest zombies you've ever seen. Do they have hooves? They grow hooves. Yeah. It's never explained, but just know that they all have hooves. So as we're like at the part of the bridge where the checkpoint is, we see someone there turn into a zombie, like,

collapse and kind of start changing. So presumably he got a bit earlier. And the guards see this. They're like, okay, infected have reached the gate. Like, this is out of control. We got to shut this down too. And through a loudspeaker, they're like, okay, gates are closed. We see these big metal gates closing. Everyone's freaking out, obviously, because now they're closed. And now they're closed in. They're telling them to get away from the gate. And Jill Valentine's here in her tube top with Peyton and the guards like pull guns on the civilians and Jill's like, they're not going to shoot at civilians.

They would never do that. And they just immediately start shooting at people. They're not fucking around. Everybody runs screaming. Jill Valentine, is there in a work capacity or to try to get off the island? I think she was trying to get off. The island, but ain't going to happen. We see some people trying to get Jared Harris into a helicopter.

He's refusing to leave with his daughter. They're like, yeah, sorry, but like she's probably dead. They're very insensitive about it. He's not leaving. He's typing into a computer. We see him pulling up some CCTV live streams. He's searching to try to find his. daughter, there's some like search function where he's able to basically type in find my daughter.

And it's like, oh, here she is. Nice. This is why it's good to be a scientist. Yeah. He locates her at her school. He can't see her, but she went back to school. I guess she didn't know where else to go. I guess she probably wasn't that far from it because I think he picked her up from school.

And so she probably just went back to hide in there because the streets are crazy. So he's now using the CCTV to scan the nearby streets for any humans. And he sees Alice. So now we're with Alice and we see some nasty things like crawling under her skin. She like starts screaming and there looks like some punctures in her arm. We don't know what they were doing to her in that umbrella. facility seemingly testing on her and stuff. And so something's wrong with Alice.

You guys ever had or heard about chiggers? I've had them before. I have when I was a kid. Oh, nasty, nasty, nasty. That's for movie stuff. It's so gross. It's nasty and bad. You guys, I have a really bad story.

My friend's husband recently. Oh, no. No, I'm scared. Like, he was like, I feel really weird. Like, there's, I can't, like, hearing something. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no, no. And he couldn't sleep all night because he was, like, felt something in his ear. Oh, no. No. And I thought it was a tick and had to go to, like, the urgent care or emergency room or whatever. I think he went to urgent care first and they couldn't reach it because it was too deep.

And they're like, you need to go. No. No. to go to a different place where they have better whatever tools so they can reach it. And what did they put? They like basically ended up just like pouring something into his ear and they're like, it'll come out itself. And it was just like a little beetle.

Oh my God. Is it horrifying? Why aren't we taping our ears shut? Was it alive? Yeah, I think it was alive still. Ew. Does he know how it got in? Like what was he?

What was he doing? It was like in. it was from his house. I feel like my friend said that she thinks she saw the beetle before, like, in the shower. It's small, a small little guy, but so gross. Oh, my God. I don't think I'd ever recover. But also good that it wasn't a tick.

I think that would be worse, but that would definitely be worse. Where physically in the, where did this occur? Ohio. Okay. I don't live in Ohio. Feef. Watch out in Ohio. It never happened in Los Angeles.

Guard your ears in Ohio. Oh my God. That is really awful. Yeah. Yeah. I really don't like that. I really don't like that. Really gross.

I got triggers when I was growing up, but then also the last time I had it was when Tim went to South Africa and we had our first phone call. And I like went on a walk in the woods next. to my parents' house to like try to talk to him. So I could have some like privacy. And I just went in the woods and I was like sitting on like a log for a while. And then I got up and I had triggers like all over my life. Oh my God. I was like, are you fucking getting me?

I looked at a, I've made the mistake of Googling. Don't. Oh my God. I do not like what I've seen. It's awful. It's so nasty. It's the nastiest thing in the world. Luckily, I mean, they were gone pretty quick, I think.

but still sick. So gross. Okay. So, we see all of our characters kind of separately making their way through the streets of Raccoon City.

And first we're with Jill Valentine, Peyton, and somehow they are with the Weather Lady, too, that we saw in the beginning giving us the, the weather report about that.

Was she in a tube top? I can't remember what she's wearing, but probably. Yeah. They go to a church. There is a guy already there that's freaking out. This is just a body to be killed momentarily. There's another guy there for now. Jill Valentine's kind of secure in the perimeter.

She's making sure everything's, zombies in here when she goes into the back room. Henley probably knows what this is called where the priest is and there's a priest there. I don't know. Don't ask me. The office? Yeah, the priest's office. The rector.

What's a rectory? The rectory is the priest's house. There's the roving room, the roving room where they put on their robes. Oh, maybe it's the roving room. And we see a woman in a chair faced away from us kind of sitting in a, you. in a way that... Sitting in such a way. Sitting in such a way that makes us go,

hmm, what's going on with this lady? This looks like a dancer. It's a dancer, sit. Hmm. Feet flat on the ground. Flat feet. Sat in such a way. Body bent in such a way.

And as she's circling her to get a look at her face, the priest comes out and is like, that's my sister, don't touch her. and we see that this woman is tied to this chair, is a zombie, has turned into a zombie, and the priest has been feeding her human remains somehow. We see like limbs around her. That happened really fast. Yeah.

I am a little confused on the timeline here. It seems like someone just thought of this scene and was like, hey, it seems cool. Let's just do it. Yeah. And Jill is about to kill this woman when he, the priest jumps in front of her to guard her and she bites his neck. So I think Jill kills both of them. Meanwhile, we see in the main room of the church, not the robing room, the main room, where the pews are. The sanctuary.

The sanctuary. The sanctuary we see three of the dogmen crawling around the walls. You know, they're like spidery, like jumping around. And these dogmen remind me, they're created by the umbrella corporation or they're just super zombies and we don't know why? I think they're created. I think they were made in those like tanks that we saw earlier. They look like inside out dogmen.

Ew, ew. Like all, like, they're glossy. Yeah, they're glossy. Ew, all glossy. Well, they're all glossy. They're wet. Ew. Wet.

And like muscle. They're exposed muscle dog men. I can't think of a better way to describe them. Faces are dogs or faces are... Faces are kind of like brains with snouts. Whoa. Snout brains. Fun.

Do they walk on all fours? Yes. Got it. Okay. But they have like a deep baritone human voice. Like what makes them a man? I guess the brain Tail or no tail?

No tail, but if you'll recall a really long tongue that can shoot out and wrap around you like a frog. Frog dog man. I guess kind of nothing makes them men now that I'm thinking about it. There's just something about them that was like giving the essence of man, though. Was it the inside out intestines walking on all floors? Their faces are kind of human-esque. But again, I guess I did say snout.

Did you look in their eyes and you see the soul of a human? Is it just that you know that that's like an actor in a suit? It's not an actor in a suit. They're like really bad CGI. 100% CGI. So there's nothing. So I guess there's nothing man about it. I guess I'm just trying to differentiate them from the actual dogs, which are like Rottweilers.

Right. They're real dogs. Those are Rottwilers covered in meat. These are inside out frog dogs. Frog dogs that are big and muscular. Big like bigger than men or big like the size of a big man? The size of a big man. So are they like a gorilla dog frog?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gorilla dog frog. Corrilla dog frog. Inside out. Girling dog. Frog. Yes, big claws. Glassy. Clossy. Wet. Snout brain. Big tough. They look tough to fight. And you couldn't even get a handle on them. You're just slipping right off. Oh, they're jumping around. They're crawling on the walls. They're crawling on the ceiling. Wow, wow, wow. They're crazy. Peyton and Valentine are shooting at them, but it's hard to keep an eye on them. We're hiding. We're fighting. Fourth guy gets killed right away by one of the dog frogs. And then they run out of ammunition and none of the things are dead.

So, uh-oh. And just then through the beautiful stained glass window, Alice on a motorcycle crashes through. Wow. The motorcycle, she like flips off of it, flips it at one of the creatures. Nice. And as it's like, collision. lighting with it. She shoots the motorcycle so it explodes.

Whoa. Killing the gorilla dog frog. Then she pulls out, or she's already got her guns out, don't want any continuity errors with where the guns are at, shoots the, like, chains that are holding up the big cross, cross falls down onto one of the other dogs. she shoots it in the brain, exposed brain thing. So this is a Christian movie. Yeah, this is a metaphor.

This is a deeply symbol. God is all powerful. And same thing with the third one, shoots it in the brain. It explodes, basically. Kind of hot dog style, honestly. Wow. But just the head.

Okay. Hot dog style on just the head. God, I'm good at describing things. I can picture it perfectly. Yeah, it's like a painting with words. So now we have Peyton, Valentine, Alice, and the weather lady. And Valentine and Alice have an exchange where she's like, whoa, you're really good at that. And Alice says they did something to me.

Like, I barely feel human anymore. So Alice is like super soldier status. And we don't know what was crawling around underneath her skin. No, but she seems fine. She seems to have recovered from that and they're not visible anymore. It seems like it's maybe helping. Yeah. Okay.

Somewhere along the line, Peyton has been bitten. He's not turned. But once Alice notices this, she immediately like draws her gun to kill him. Valentine says no, we're not doing that. And she's like, it's going to be harder to kill him later. You know that. You know we should be doing this now. And Valentine says, if it comes to that, I will do it.

You have my word. So we're just leaving Peyton here for now as a little ticking time bomb. They're going somewhere. Where are they going? I don't know. But it's a video game, so they're always on the move. They got to get off the island? Yeah, I guess so.

They're looking for a boat? Yeah, I don't know what they're doing. But they're headed somewhere with intention. Okay. And the way that they're headed there is through the middle of a graveyard. And somehow all of these corpses in this graveyard start reanimating. Not sure how they got the virus underground, but I guess it made for a pool scene. So again, they're like, let's just do it.

Let's just do it. Don't question it. So we're fighting these corpses. This scene I thought was pretty funny. Kind of reminded me of like, was it Army of Dark. or one of the evil dead movies where they're just like fighting bone guys. Then they're like fist fighting like skeletons essentially. This movie is not playing it as funny, but I found it funny.

And eventually they are like, there's too many of them. They run away. We cut to some big bad from the umbrella corporation. His name's Major Tom, which I think is funny. I don't think he's ever referenced by name, but it said that. the IMDB credits. I'm going to call him Major Tom. Yeah. Evil man kind of, you know, twirling his mustache doing like this sort of thing. He, he, he, he. Big fur cap and boots. Uh-huh. Exactly. So, he's so cold. He's so cold. The heat wave is not affecting him

because he's a man. He says we're activating the nemesis program. Do we really need to do that right now? Is that necessary to do right now? Apparently. He's really excited about it. And we see a crazy-looking monster man, inside-out monster man. He actually looks a lot like a centabyte. Okay.

In the Umbrella Corporation Hospital. And they like press some buttons. So this guy wakes up. I'm immediately like, is this Matt from the previous movie that was wheeled away into another room? It is. And it's played as a huge shock later. It was my first immediate thought. So I'm saying it here.

This is Matt. But he's not himself. Obviously, he's been, had. I mean, same actor? No, it's actually not the same actor. And there's like a crazy. He's huge. And a lot of the trivia was about this nemesis suit.

being 100 pounds. So the actor that's in it couldn't wear it for longer than 15 minutes at a time. Feels like a huge mistake. It is. I did appreciate the practical side of it. But yeah, he's like a big crazy super soldier as well, but seems very like inhuman. We're seeing the soldiers from earlier, the search and rescue guy. Carlos.

Carlos, thank you. Great recall. Thank you. They're entering the same hospital that the nemesis guy is in. And I think the nemesis guy has already left, though. But they find evidence of like, whoa, something crazy was here. And they gave it tons of weapons. There's like empty weaponry cases.

And they're like scratching their heads. like, what the heck is this? They're trying to get, like, rescued. I think they saw, like, a helicopter on the roof of this. That was dropping the weapons. And they thought, like, oh, we can, like, get out of here with this helicopter. But nope, helicopter's not there for them. It leaves them.

We cut to nearby. There's a guy in a cowboy hat shooting from a rooftop at zombies. And he's having a grand old time. he's yehah, shooting, shooting, shooting. And we see Nemesis approaching. We're seeing from Nemesis POV that he's got, you know, that like computer vision that's like evaluating the scene. It's like civilian threat level, moderate, minor, whatever, it's telling him what to do. And we're also seeing the major Tom kind of communicating with him.

through that and telling them what to do. Major Tom seemed like really excited. He's like, okay, let's see what Nemesis can do. We see another group of Stars soldiers. This is not Carlos, different ones, but good guys trying to help. And Major Tom tells Nemesis to like take them all out, take out the Stars soldiers. So he wants like maximum damage from the zombies, basically? I think he's, yeah, I don't really know. In this moment, he just, like, is testing out nemesis and wanting to see how powerful he is and how many guys he can kill. Okay. Okay.

So he kills, he just takes out a rocket launcher. Whoa. And kills Cowboy on the roof with the rocket launcher and then pulls out some machine guns and kills all the rest of the stars, soldiers. There is one civilian guy in there that is going to come into play later. His name's L.J. We also saw him in the police station earlier as a criminal. He was in handcuffs, but Jill Valentine shot off his handcuffs. Is she a cop?

Who knows? I believe Jill Valentine is from the games, because Alice is not from the games. Someone knows. And someone can tell us. in this moment, I can't be certain what Jill Valentine's deal is. Anywho, so Nemesis kills everyone except for L.J. because he's a civilian and he's zero threat. And so he just leaves him, walks away. We're back to the four Alice Valentine, etc., walking through the streets. And they're passing a lot of pay phones. And every pay phone they pass starts ringing. And so eventually they answer it. And it is,

Jared Harris, Dr. Ashford, and he says, I can get you guys out of the city if you get my daughter, Angela. Got it. And he informs them that they don't really have a choice because the plan is to nuke the city at dawn. Whoa. They can't contain the virus, so they're just going to say there was a disaster at the nuclear power plant. and that's that. So they agree. Sure.

So he tells them that she's at the school. And so now the next place that they're headed to is the school to go get Angela. On the way there, they ran into nemesis. And Major Tom seems very excited. He recognizes Alice. He knows Alice is also someone they were doing testing on, obviously. and has super soldier abilities. So he tells Nemesis, that's your target, go for Alice.

She tells everyone else, run, get away from here, and Nemesis and her are fighting. This is battle. This is battle. This is battle. This is battle. This is battle. We've got our super soldiers battling each other. They're super soldiers battling each other.

With like an unknown reason why any of this is happening. Like what does the umbrella company want? Oh, who knows? Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Okay. At some point, you know, shots are exchanged. At some point she jumps down like a storm drain type thing, like a vertical tube thing.

And there's a part in which her finger gets caught in like a grate on the way down. Howie. So that when she gets to the bottom of this shoot, her middle finger is like bent all the wrong ways. But it looks pretty funny. It looks like clay. It's like bent in such a way. Finger bent in such a way. But the way that Nemesis's vision is working is it like can't.

She's now out of sight and out of like the range of his, I don't know, signal. And so he's assuming that she's dead, but she has to be really quiet. Or he's going to know that she's alive. But she has to snap her finger back into place silently. And she's such a badass. Obviously, she does it. But it does look like it. What?

No bad. So now we see Valentine and the weather lady. and Peyton are running. Peyton... Yeah, how's Peyton doing? In this moment, turns into a zombie. Got it. Okay.

And as promised, Valentine kills him, but it's upsetting. She's not happy, but now Peyton is dead. Okay, so that wasn't kind of a big deal. Yeah. All right. It seems like earlier we said it was going to be, like, really hard, but... They got an extra 15 minutes together, so... It's kind of just easy.

And these people don't know about the antidote. No one here knows about the antidote. I don't think so. They'll find out, but they don't know yet. So they're driving and they've found a car somewhere. Now they're driving to the school. Nice. And they find L.J. who's wandering the streets after being spared by Nemesis. They pick him up.

I can't really remember. Whatever. He's part of the crew now. They get to the school, the three of them. Valentine, Alice and L.J. It's not Alice. It's Weather lady. Weather lady.

Weather lady? Valentine. L.J. They go into the school and Valentine immediately says we need to split up to check the perimeter. All three of us need to go on different floors of the school to make sure it's safe, which is just absolutely insane. Yeah, why don't we case it four by floor together? Yeah. Definitely the superior plan.

but Valentine's pretty, pretty adamant. Okay. She gives Weather Lady a gun. Weather lady's like, I've never shot a gun before in my life. She's really scared. She's like, I don't care. Go up to the second floor and go check it for zombies. And it's like, what am I going to do if I encounter zombies?

I'm going to turn to a zombie and then I'm going to come kill you. Yeah. This plan makes no sense. But it's really stupid. But they're like, all right. We see the Weather Lady going up to the second floor. And there's. There's a classroom with one little girl seated in such a way facing away from camera.

Oh, man. Weather lady's saying, Angela, is that you? The little girl's not responding. She's getting closer. She's saying, it's going to be okay. We're here to rescue you. Put her hand on her shoulder. Girl turns around, obviously, zombie, not Angela.

Different little girl. and this little girl attacks the weather lady. All of a sudden we see this classroom was filled with zombie children. Whoa. And they all pile on her and the Ripper, pardon, kill her. It's very weapons-esque. Devoured by a classroom of children. That's the only way a group of children can attack.

Yeah, they've got to be in a group. In a horde. So, yeah, I mean, as expect, weather lady immediately dies. Bye, weather lady. Yeah. Now we see the other stars soldiers, including this is Carlos and I think Nikolai, and they are also at this school.

At some point, I think they have an exchange where they like see Valentine and they're like, oh, did the doctor call you too? Like, we're here for the same thing. We're here to get Angela, which would make sense that Dr. Ashford. would send multiple people on this mission because you want to, you know, hedge your bets. So we join forces. We're all here for the same thing.

Valentine finds the real Angela. I feel like no tears are shed for Weather Lady. Sure. I mean, we hardly knew her. We didn't even know her name. No. I don't think she had one. I bet it was like doodrop or sunshine.

And all of a sudden, there's zombie dogs, Rottweilers in the school for some reason. I guess they came from the facility, so they can go anywhere. Which is different from the man dog frogs? Yes, these are Rottweiler dogs covered in prosthetics to look like meat. They didn't do the meat this time. They learned their lesson, but not enough of a lesson because the dogs were still difficult. Nikolai is shooting at the dogs and has a lot of dog jokes. He kills one and he says, stay.

Nice, Nikolai. That's my real dad joke. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Valentine is protecting Angela. Nikolai says, get the girl out of here. I'll deal with this bitch to points to another dog. Oh, my God.

Nicolai, you need to do stand-up. We keep telling you. Nicolai, when we get out of this situation, promise me. We're going to work on your tight 10. Promise me you're going to start taking those classes. But guess what? He doesn't got this bitch and he is immediately killed by the dogs. Oh, well, what could have been?

You got to look alive. Your career was just getting started. Cut short. Valentine has Angela, we're moving through the school. We find ourselves in the cafeteria. There's more dogs. She hits one with a frying pan, very funny. She turns the gas on the stoves on.

Smart. And is like getting away to, she has a little book of matches that she's going to throw back. And just as she throws it, the match goes out, which it would, you know? You can't, like, throw a lip. match through the air. Right. No. I kind of appreciated that. I've something I've never really thought too much about, but like you can't throw a lit match through the air. That wouldn't work. That's why it has to be a lighter. Whenever they do that, it's always a lighter. But specifically like

a zippo, like you also could not do that with a regular lighter. Right. Right. Of course. It has to be a zippo. It's always a zippo. It's always a zippo. But no, sometimes I think it is a match and we just all have gone along have gone along fucking fools like absolutely ever fucking moron they made fools out of all us and so uh-oh now what are we going to do just then alice arrives and sees the sees the gas in the air she's hip to what's going on she throws some, oh, her cigarette, because Mila hadn't quit yet. There we go. Oh, baby.

Wow. And she has a fire blanket with her and she wraps herself and Angela in the fire blanket, but not Valentine's, and like turns as the explosion happens and protects them. They're far enough away that Valentine is also fine, but it's just funny to be like, you just have to kind of take it, see what happens. I'm supposed to bring a fire blanket for everybody. Like, I already brought one that was pretty fucking nuts of me to have. Okay, so the dogs are taken care of.

Threat is gone for now. The three of them are talking, and it is revealed that Angela is infected with the T-virus. Oh, no. But we learn that Dr. Ashford is the scientist that created the T-virus. and was creating it as a way to cure, like, degenerative diseases because his, like, daughter was, like, in crutches, and she's telling the story, and she's like, it would have gotten worse. So my dad was working on something to help, like, rebuild human tissue.

It's always a good idea going wrong. So we see she has a lot of marks from where the injections of T-virus and antidote have been going in. So it's basically been like a controlled experiment to help her cells regenerate without causing any harm to her, zombifying her. And we learned that the same sort of thing

is what's going on with Alice as well. She is somehow just like getting stronger and smarter and faster. And her body is a wonderland. Her body is a wonderland. This is what John Mayer was talking about. They talk to Ashford on the phone again, and he tells them that a helicopter is coming to City Hall,

get to the drop point in 47 minutes, and then we see on his end of the call, Major Tom catches him, busted. Oh, no. Busted. And like, I don't know, it smashes the computer, whatever he's using to talk to them. So he can't talk to them anymore. We just got to fingers crossed. Hope they get there at the right time.

Now we have our group is Alice, Valentine, Angela, Carlos, and L.J. Okay. So we got five of them. They make it to the helicopter. I guess it's pretty easy. I don't remember any of anything happening there. but this site is like covered in umbrella corps soldiers, people that are going to be probably preventing them from getting on this helicopter.

But Alice is a super soldier. She freaking just starts taking them out. I don't know how this happens, but at some point she's like on top of a building and like straps herself into a thing that lets her like run down the side of the building all cool and shooting. That's cool. Matrixes type shit. Really badass.

She's absolutely smoking these guys. And then she's like, all right, let's get on to the helicopter. The five of us goes in and we see how the interior of this helicopter is equipped is like giving her some memory flashbacks. And she's like really scared all of a sudden. something is like triggering a memory. And we realize this helicopter is also the pickup point for Nemesis. So Nemesis is getting in the helicopter too? Well, that's what it looks like.

And so she's trying to say like, go, go, go, we need to go. And just then, Major Tom appears doing Mr. Burns' fingers. He he, he. And Nemesis is here now too. And he's like, oh, my two creations. This is so exciting for me. I'm having the time of my goddamn life. Where's Jared Harris?

Jared Harris is there. Okay. And Major Tom tells Alice to fight nemesis. He wants to see these two in hand-to-hand combat. He takes away their guns. No weapons. I want you guys to do good out regular style. Cool, cool, cool.

Looks kind of like his kink. Yeah. Alice refuses and he says, I'm going to kill all of them if you don't do it. And she tries to, she bluffs. And she's like, what makes you think I care about them? And he pulls out a gun and he kills Jared Harrison. Oh, my God.

No. Really sad. Okay. So, oops. And she's like, Alice. She's like, okay, I'll do it. And how's Angela reacting to this?

Pretty upset. You know, honestly, I don't think we even got a reaction shot of Angela, which is pretty surprising. Okay. Probably has more to do with the actress than the... They were like, we didn't get the shot, so... Let's keep gone. So, Alice and Nemesis, hand-to-hand combat.

Wow. Nemesis has obviously the edge on brute strength and force. He's massive. And has Alice realized that it's Matt or not yet? Not yet, but it's my first thought, so I don't know why she didn't think about it. But Alice has the agility and the... She's quick. not wearing a hundred pounds. Exactly. So it's

seeming like a pretty even fight and they're both they're both getting in some hits and what's going to happen when Nemesis pulls off a piece of metal from the building seems unfair, but he makes himself like a little sword type thing. Major Tom sees this and throws in an actual sword for Alice. Hey, Major Tom. Oh, okay, okay. He wants it to be a fair fight. Every time you say Major Tom, by the way, all I think is ground control to Major Tom. It's like actually extremely distracting. Yeah. Well, that's why I'm calling it Major Tom because I feel like they threw that name in for me to have some fun with.

Like, did they know what they were doing? Are they playing like a really dramatic cover of space oddity in the background during this fight? I feel like, yeah. There's some trivia that like the drummer from Evanescence is like one of the extras in this movie. So I think they were having some fun. they're having a little fun. They're having so much fun. I can tell.

But when Nemesis breaks off this piece of metal from the building, we see that like a jagged piece of metal is protruding from the building now. We get eyes on that and we're like, all right, that's going to come in. That's a jagged edge. That's going to come in handy. And sure enough immediately when Alice spots it, she just starts like drop kicking Nemesis over and over. She's so good at kicking.

She's so good at kicking. Kicks him, kicks him, kicks him, kicks him, getting him back until he impales himself on the jagged metal. And in that moment, she gets a good look in his eyes. And Flash realizes it's Matt. It's sad. It is actually sad. That is really sad.

That would be really sad. Yeah. But it's not the Matt you knew. It's not the Matt you knew. And Major Tom tells her to fin. finish it, put him out of his misery. She can't do it. And he says, you two are my, like, proudest experiments, but you are the true gem. Like, he's kind of an experiment gone wrong. So just kill him. Like, you're the only thing that matters to me. And as this is happening,

we're seeing Matt kind of, like, realizing what's happening, maybe having some memories to his shifting underneath the hundred pounds. Daddy doesn't like me. Right. And Major Tom's like, all right, kill everybody now we've got her. Matt slash nemesis pulls himself off the metal thing and just starts, he grabs a gun off his gun off the ground, his machine gun. And now he's like shooting down all the other soldiers that I guess have appeared during

this time. And there's an additional helicopter that has the Umbrella Corp Soldier guys, and he shoots down the helicopter and the helicopter lands on top of him and he dies. Oh, no. Oh, man. Oh, my real bummer. It was just going to be such a cool move to shoot down the helicopter. Buddy, that was a nice try, but really backfire. You can move fast enough to get out of the way. Oh, man.

And in the commotion, Alice is able to, like, rally everybody onto the helicopter, but Major Tom gets on there, too. Oh, God. And we now see a horde of zombies coming here and all the ruckus. They're coming to kill them. So we got to get this helicopter up in the air. And Alice has, like, cornered up on Major Tom, and the back of the helicopter still open.

and she's like about to push him out and he's like, killing me won't make this right. And she's like, no, but it's a start. And she kicks him off the helicopter. And he falls to the ground as the zombie horde is descending upon the area. And also as Jared Harris is turned into a zombie, and Jared Harris kills him. Okay.

So a nice closed loop there. Great. And as. the helicopter is flying out of the city, the sun is rising, and the nuclear explosion happens. Oh. Right. On cue. And the helicopter's like not quite far enough away for a nuclear bomb situation.

Sure. I think you got to be pretty far for that. Probably. And like another little metal pole thing is like fly in the same. through the air. It's headed straight towards Angela, and Alice jumps in front of it, takes an impaled pole to the stomach. Whoa. This is all happening very like in the helicopter, in the helicopter, but then also the helicopter crashes because of the nuclear explosion. But we're getting all like quick cuts. We can't really see what's happening, but it's bad. Cut to black. And we're now back.

we're just outside of the city honestly kind of looks like a forest somewhere I don't know we're near raccoon city where the helicopter crashed and we're seeing umbrella corporation people like investigating the crash site obviously looking for Alice we see Dr. Isaacs who in the first movie

is played by Jason Isaacs okay I was like why am I picturing Jason Isaacs And I was like, it's just because you said Dr. Isaacs. But then I'm like, oh, nope, it's Jason Anzic. It's not in this movie, but in the first movie it was because Paul W.S. Anderson and Jason Isaacs are friends. Our friends. That's right.

He just kind of popped in for funsies. He just popped in the first one, but he did have to be recast in this one. And he's played by Ian Glenn, who is Jora from Game of Thrones. Oh, I like him. Yeah. So he's there as well. He's looking. We find Alice.

Alice is unconscious, but they retrieve. her body and the others are nowhere to be found, no remains. So it seems like they have survived and gotten away. Now we're seeing news coverage of a huge, a horrible accident in Raccoon City. And there's kind of like a cover-up happening here that there's no mention of zombies. It's just like a horrible accident at the nuclear facility. the likes of which we haven't seen since Chernoble, another show that Jared Harris is really good in. And we hear that Valentine and Carlos are wanted for questioning, for creating, for spreading lies and an elaborate hoax about some sort of false virus.

That's just completely not true. Whoa. And definitely didn't get off the island, right? They definitely contained it with that nuclear blast. You know? Definitely. Definitely, yeah. Cut to the umbrella corporation testing facility. We see Alice in a tank with a bunch of like tube. She's like, again, like the Matrix kind of little plugged in. She's plugged in. And one of the like scientists on a computer next to the next to her tank is like giving updates to Dr. Isaacs and says her mental and physical strength

are growing at a geometric rate, which like felt like a wrong. Like it's supposed to be exponential. At a geometric rate. It's going in dimensions we couldn't even understand. It really kind of threw me. Yeah, kind of weird. But Dr. Isaacs instructs them, okay, let's bring her back. I want to see, see what status is.

So they unplug her from all these tubes, drain the water, and pull her out. She's obviously very disoriented. Dr. Isaac seems to want her to be disoriented. He's like, you don't remember anything, right, basically is his vibe. He's like, what's your name? She can't remember her name. This is very distressing for her. She's panicked.

She's like, my name, my name, my name. And we're seeing her having a little like memory flash. of everything that's happened. Dr. Isaacs is like walking away from her now. He's like, great thumbs up like she doesn't remember anything. We're all good. And we're seeing this kind of culmination of her like having all these memories flood back to her. And then like opens her eyes and looks like her old self. And she says, my name is Alice. And I remember everything. And she starts just killing all these scientists. Boy. She doesn't kill Dr. Isaacs, but she gets out of that room and she's like walking down the halls. We're seeing a security guy watching her on security cameras. And there's a whole bunch of security cameras. And she like turns and looks at the security guy through the camera and then like turns all of the cameras to that camera. Like she's like controlling the tech in the room. And then because her, if you remember her, she's.

Going at a geometric rate. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so it's, yep, literally the dimensions we couldn't understand. The security guy just starts pouring blood out of his mouth, nose, and eyes and dies. So I guess she has killed him with her mind. Like powers now, yeah, like telekinetic powers.

Like 11 from Stranger Things. Yeah. And so she walks out of the building. Cadillac pulls up. Who's driving the Cadillac? know why I said the, I don't know why I said a Cadillac. Like a big SUV. It's, it could be.

I have no idea. It's like a big black car, like a, like an official looking car, you know. It's an escalade. Yeah. It's possibly an escalade or like a suburban. A type of car that a government official would be transported in type of thing. Sure, sure. And out of this car comes Valentine, Carlos, and LJ, dressed in like very official looking uniforms.

Tube top version? No tube top this time. She's covered. Tube top freedom. This is bullshit. Give her back for tube top. What the fuck happened? The umbrella corp guys are looking confused.

Like, you can't come in here. And Carlos, like, hands them a little piece of paper and is like, this is top secret, security level six. Here's my credentials. You can't ask any questions. and the guy looks at the piece of paper, and he's like, I'm sorry, sir. So they've got some sort of thing figured out. They get Alice into the car, and they're driving away, but they have to drive past, like, another security checkpoint that has, like, a gate.

And so they show the credentials to this guy. He calls Dr. Isaacs to get clearance for them to leave. We're all looking a little nervous. and Dr. Isaac says, let them go. Like, this is maybe part of a plan. He's interested to see what they're going to do. And then we see through Alice's POV looking at everyone in the car with her, and she now has that kind of like roboting,

nemesis. Vision. And everyone's like, what did they do to you? and she's just looking around like she's she's changed and that's the end of the movie wow so okay so okay we're gonna have to see they really are setting you up for another one oh yeah like i feel like each movie is like yeah then there'll be another one don't worry yeah and honestly i'm into it me too like it's fun i do want to know what happens next yeah they're fun it's fun to have like a female action star.

Yeah. Yeah. Even if they put her in a tube top. One of them in a tube top. Alice was not dressed scantily, I will say. She had full pants on. Full pants. They let her wear pants.

She didn't have to wear a skirt, a long skirt that covered her ankles. A long skirt. That's the other direction we could go in. I did miss the like little red dress from the first one though. That was fun. Sick, sick outfit. Oh, I just had a realization. is going to be the next big thing. Tadwife action film. Tadwife action film. That's what the

studios are going to be hankering for next. They're going to be looking for someone. We got to write it. Yeah. Nobody do it. We thought of it first. We thought of it first. It's ours. I have so many ideas. Legally, it's ours. So many new ways you can kill someone when you're turning butter, turning brains. What else can you do? Baking sourdough? Baking brains. You guys, I think I'm going through menopause. I think we all are. The brain fog. There's no other reason. The menopausal tradwife action film.

Yep. Yep. There's simply no other explanation for what we're experiencing. Well, that was fun. I had a great time. I had a great time. I did as well. It was worth getting up at 734.

Highly recommend a 7.m. viewing of Resident Evil apocalypse. Love it. I had a good time. I had a great time. And now we will have two reference points when we watch the new Resident Evil, which I think will be completely different, but still kind of fun just to know the world a little bit. Yeah. I heard Raccoon City is still part of it.

It's got to be, right? That fucking better be. If you got a name like Raccoon City, you don't change that. You don't change it. You'd have to be insane. Pretty perfect name. So. No voices, really.

I guess Jared is British. Yes, he is. They're like, keep it Jared. Doesn't matter if it's, nobody else has one. Angela is British as well. So a couple questions there, but. Sure. You know, people can have all sorts of different accents, no matter where they are.

It's really true. British. Hello. Oh yes. Yes. Hello. It's me, Jared Harris. Hello. Hello. It's me, Jared Harris. I was actually pretty good. From all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch. Goodbye. Goodbye. Tudaloo.

Tooteloo. We did it. We made it. Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show, please remember to subscribe and rate us on on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Five stars only, or we will haunt you. And if you simply can't get enough of us, we have good news for you. We have lots of bonus content available on our Patreon at patreon.com slash TSDW podcast.

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