Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE END OF OAK STREET with Joel Jensen

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

H3llch3lla continues! Horrorspousedent Joel Jensen returns to recap The End of Oak Street, in theaters now! You won't BELIEVE the names on some of these dinosaurs!Movie & Guest Intro @ 24:00Trivia @ 36:33Recap starts @ 48:00 TrailerAll Hellchella video episodes will be available on our Patreon!Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy. And you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those Too Scared to Watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies.

I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies. And so I watch them so that you don't have to. We are back for another Hell Chella 3. Recap. This is the fourth episode of Hell Chella 3, Triples his best. Hellchella 3, nine episodes, each of the three of us,

covering three movies. It makes perfect sense. Nobody has any follow-up at all. It's a simple concept. It didn't take us any time to figure out. We spent the correct amount of time thinking it over. And here we've arrived seamlessly.

And And if you want to jump straight to our recap, recap, Recap. Recap. If you want to skip straight to the recap. Hey, guys. There are time stamps in the show notes because first, I want to know did anything scary happen to my friends this week?

So many things. Oh my gosh. You go, Anley. So many things. So I just need to get it off my chest right at the beginning of this pod. I am deeply sleep deprived. Oh boy. Oh boy. I am insane. Like I feel like a little like, like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. And like things aren't the way that they're normally like things look different. I just got back from Spain, Spain. And I had a really wonderful trip. Except yesterday, we were traveling for 18 hours straight. Yeah. 18 hours straight. That's not an exaggeration. That's door to door. 18 hours.

Pretty fucking insane with two small children. I got to say, me and Silas really did a really good job. I thought you're, I was expecting. Me and Silas really got into it. I don't like. Me and Silas are beefing. We're not talking right now.

No, they did a great job. They handled it really well. Silas actually said his favorite part of the trip was traveling, was the airplane. That's rude. That's incredibly rude. Because he just gets to watch TV the whole time. That's so crazy.

You know what? I actually do remember like flying as a kid because, yeah, you're not like. When we were 12, we went to New Zealand and my sister and I were like, all we wanted to do was go to the internet cafes. Go on AIM and talk to our friends. Yes. Yes. Fair. Kids are assholes.

They are children. It's okay. But just a few quick things about Spain. So, first of all, it's actually a great place to bring. small children because there's a six-hour time difference. But in Spain, in Spain, the kids stay up until midnight. Like they are-schedles are wild over there. It is fucking nuts. And so even though it was six hours ahead, it felt like the same, we like basically just stayed on East Coast time, the entire time. So they went to bed at like 11 p.m. every night and then just would sleep in.

It actually worked out perfectly. So that's like a good little tip for anyone who's wanting to to travel with little kids. From the East Coast specifically. From the East Coast specifically. To go to Spain. Specifically to Spain. This isn't going to work everywhere in Europe. You've got to go.

There's a hot tip. Only in the specific situation. But yeah, Silas and May got to feel like real Spanish locals because they're just on the playground at like 11 p.m. with all the other Spanish kids, which I was like this rules. You guys don't know how much this fucking rules. Did they take siesta? No, they did not take siestas, but they slept in.

Not like the locals. I know. Well, the white as hell. Okay. The people we were with weren't taking siesta, as to be fair. Although during the day, it was kind of like a nonstop siesta to a certain degree. What else happened that I need to tell you guys? You saw the freaking eclipse? I know. Okay, so I need to talk about the eclipse. That's what I need to talk about. She is a freaking eclipse head. I know. I'm an eclipse chaser. Two for two. This is my second one. So we flew to Madrid and then we took a four-hour train. We stayed in Madrid for two days and then we took a four hour train to the north where... Isn't the train station to Madrid really magical? I was so stressed. I didn't even notice.

We're like running to our train. Fuck me. I forget it. Forget it. Fucking or booking our asses with two small children. Silas just rode on top of one of the roly suitcases and I was like, I hope I don't hit a bump. Kids love doing that now. Yeah, it's a thing now. Yeah. Airports just filled with kids on rolling suitcases. It's actually insane. Makes a lot of sense, though. Oh. I was going to tell you. Sucks.

Threw off the flow. The eclipse, the eclipse. So we went, really, we went to see our friends who live in London and they have kids the same age as Silas and May. So Silas and May got to hang out with Sasha and Francis the whole time. It was perfect. Then we got to hang out with our friends. I was ideal. It's how parenting should be.

I was just telling you guys before this, but I'll repeat it. By the end, Silas was speaking in a British accent because Sasha and Francis have little British accents. And he was saying things like football kit and trousers. And I was like, this is not. Who are you? It's only been like six days. What's going on? Little sponges.

Little sponges. So we were in the north of Spain and. Sorry, I'm so tired. I'm like, right. Wait, I need a sip of water. You guys, I actually need to think before I put this sentence together. It's a puzzle. Yeah, okay. I'm loving it. So, it was cloudy. For the eclipse. That's bad. Let me paint you a picture. Cloudy day of the eclipse. We've flown so far. We've traveled so far. I was going to say, is that like a huge disappointment? So, kind of, but I honestly, I really didn't.

care because I was really just there to see my friends. I wasn't really there for the eclipse. You're still having a trip in Spain. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But Tim, Tim, on the other hand. He didn't want to see his fun. He only wanted to see the eclipse. Okay, well, Tim, you already got one greedy. Like, some people don't even see one. He's been, you guys, the next like 15 years of my life have been mapped out because of eclipses. He's like, we, are you planning another one? He's already planning. He's planning all of them. All right. Well, let me know,

because I would like to see one of them. Yeah. So I'll come along at some point. My mom saw a partial in Portugal. I forgot that, you know, she lives in Portugal. Honestly,

I feel like it's full, it's totality or nothing for me. Yeah. I don't care about a partial. No, no, a partial. It gets a little darker.

Like, I don't really care about that. No, no, you got to see the whole thing. So, all right. I started painting the picture.

Now I have to start again. Hold on. Another sick of water. Get my water. So it starts with, it was cloudy. It's cloudy. We're looking at the Doppler.

The Doppler that doesn't fucking exist for the tiny little village in northern Spain. Sure. They're like, eh. They're like, that's not a thing. We don't care about this place. Trying to look at percentages for cloud covers or anywhere in the path of totality. I'm doing math. I'm doing physics.

I'm doing geometry. I'm seeing where can we drive where the cloud covers less. That's still in the path of totality. Blah, blah, blah. So we wait. We hope it clears. It doesn't clear. We get in the car.

We drive 40 minutes to this place I located on a map using my limited brain skills. Let me tell you 40 minutes later, clouds exactly the same, exactly the same, no difference. They just like followed you. Didn't make a difference at all. So then we circle up by this weird abandoned train museum that Silas and May were so excited to see a train on display. So they got out, started playing on this train while Nick Carly. and I are, Tim, are discussing what to do.

We're clearly like, we don't have enough time. The countdown is happening. Totality is happening imminently. We've got to make a decision. It's like game time. We've got to go. So we're like,

okay, we're just going to drive back. We're driving back to our house. So while we're doing this, unbeknownst to me, a security guard is having it out with my children on this train. Like literally,

middle of nowhere town. Like when I tell you not a single car person is around, it's like, it's like what, I don't even know what this, Anyway, so then May is in hysterics because she's been yelled at in another language by a security guard about not being allowed to climb on this train that's on display for a train museum. What do you mean? Why have a train on display in the middle of nowhere if kids can't crawl on it?

It's not in like the best condition. It's like falling apart. Anyway, so then I have a really upset child that I have to put back in the car and I have to break it to them. We're 40 more minutes in the car. You guys, I'm so sorry. So that wasn't great. Tim is like booking it back to the house. We get there with like four minutes to spare.

Like totality is like happening. It's like getting darker and darker and darker and darker and darker. And it feels like it's just about to rain. Like it feels just like a crazy storm is coming or something. But then I will say even if it's cloudy, it's fucking nuts, you guys. Yeah, I was going to say it's like, I mean, I guess the point is you can't like see it. But you can, it's still going to get really. dark all of a sudden and then get lighted. Like it's still, I actually, I still think it sounds pretty

cool. I actually think that I preferred this way of experiencing it in a way because the first one, we were so hyper focused on looking through our stupid little glasses at the sun. Right. That's when you were just like looking at the world. And this, we were like in the world, just being like, whoa, this feels nuts. Like, we're just standing outside in the lawn. Do you feel weird? Like, it gets like cold too, right? Like, it's like as if it's, it's, it's, so we're like, We were like standing outside and Carla was like afterwards Carla was like, I'm going to remember that moment forever. She was like it felt like a life or death moment. It felt like the world was Yeah, like panicked a little. That's how my mom was. And Tim was just like, this sucks.

Because Silas had run inside for some reason right when it was about to happen. And it was like about to happen. And so I was like Silas like, like no. And so I like ran inside. I ran inside. I picked him up. like ran back outside and I was like it's happening. And then for like maybe like 70 seconds, it's just nighttime. Like it's like all of a sudden it's like night time. Oh, that's so and it is it is really weird. You're like looking at each other. You're like looking around and it's like it's like it's like 3 a.m. all of a sudden. Yeah. Which is completely different than it just being like cloudy outside, you know, like like a storm coming. Like it's like. full night night. And then it's over. And afterwards, we were all like literally just like buzzing.

We were like, like it makes you feel like you're on drugs. Like you're just like, whoa. Like what was that? It's like exhilarating because it's so strange. It's so strange. And so that was our strange eclipse experience. And I think that sounds really cool. And I want to do one someday. Yeah, I want to do one too. Give me the 15 year timeline and I'll see which one we can catch. Maybe this will be. be a thing. Tim will start like mapping it out. Eclipse business. And like who wants to join us for these eclipse trips. Eclipse trips. That's what's called. We just named it. We just named it. Because it's also like an excuse to get. We would never have gone to this part of Spain otherwise. And I'm so happy we did. It's like we got to be in this cool little village where there's like a there's like nothing.

And then there's just a random restaurant in the middle of nowhere that, you know, we got to hang out in it. There aren't tourists anywhere. You know, it just really feels. like you're discovering something in a way, which I think is hard to do now with like being able to research everything in advance so thoroughly. Anyway, I loved it. Had a great time. And I don't know. That's all. That's all I got to say. And that's all. Thanks for letting me yammer on about my trip. I have like actually so much more to say, but I'll shut up now because that's not what this podcast is about. What about you guys? How are you doing?

I'm a little sickie. She's a little sickie. But getting better, a little head cold. Something's going around. Sure. She's working too hard also. Yeah, I really did have like a moment of panic because I had an ulcerative Clydes flare and then a bad reaction to Prisique that left me dizzy for days.

And then I got sick and I really like had a meltdown at the moment I like could tell I was getting sick. Yeah. It's too much. Well, especially it's like all of those, all of the, I mean, not the Prisique thing so much, but like all of that is like also a larger center of you are stressed. You're working too much. You're working too hard. You're stressed. But it's like, okay, well, guess what would help, body if you fucking like worked with me here? Like I really need you to like not fall apart because that really makes it worse the stress. Yeah. But it doesn't know that. And it's really unfortunate. Yeah, it does. Also, I've never actually heard. I think I've only seen Pristique written. I don't think I've ever heard you. say Pristique out loud. How are you hearing it in your brain when you saw it written? No, it's more that just hearing it out loud. It's the drama of that name. I was like sold immediately. I was like, well, it sounds sexy as hell. Who had the balls to name it that? Me, I take Prisique. You know, it works for some people. As with all antidepressants. It's just a freaking gamble. I take Zoloft. You know, it's just not as sexy. I'm back on Prozac, which is somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the

Prozac is somewhere in the middle. Pristique is like a show you would see it in Vegas. Like it's like a magic show in Vegas. The girls are a pristique girl. It's like Circto solaceous. You know. Well, it didn't work for me. Nope.

But whatever. I've come to terms with it that I'm, that I'll be healthy again one day. But I really was in the depths of like, will I ever know feeling good again? Like, is this forever? It's bad. It's bad. It's a horrible.

It's a horrible way to feel. But, you know, I believe that that I'm going to make it true. I believe that you are. You see a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe that you are. But something else scary happened, which is that Reese ate her first cockroach. Oh, sick. Did you watch it happen?

A big boy. Yeah, we haven't had a cockroach in our house yet until now. So I don't know I was kind of in the headspace of like that doesn't happen here We've only lived here for a year And you know Just kind of was living in a safe little reality Where it was like there's never going to be any cockroaches in here

It never has been before So we heard her We like saw her she had something Yeah And she was being sneaky and secretive about it And running off into little corners doing something And we were watching TV and comfortable.

So I was like, oh, whatever. She's probably got, maybe it's a toy. Maybe it's like a fly. Eventually, I like see some substance to whatever it is, and it's nothing that I recognize.

There's like legs out of her mouth. I just saw like Yally, a little clump of brown something. And was like, all right, we got to go intervene here. And Mac and Bunk have done this before, and I'm sure cat owners

have seen this before when the cockroach that you discover is just hollowed out. It's just... Oh my God, I'm going to throw up. It's just the shell and she had eaten all the, all the inside part. Oh, my God. Like a, like a, like a crab. Ew. Like a little oyster.

She was eating her little oyster. She absolutely. loved it. She had a great time and it was really gross. It's like the popsicles my kids eat like from the freezer like those like little you just like delicious. So now are you worried that they're going to be more their cockroaches? I mean, you shouldn't be because Reese will eat them.

Yes. It is nice to know that they'll be handled. Yeah, three little bug controllers in the house. my cats were better about it, to be honest. They could be, they could do better with flies. I would love for them to do better with flies. Yeah. Yeah. But I think because it's been really hot too, like, I couldn't remember. Is that when cockroaches coming or do they go away? I think so. Maybe both. I don't actually know. Whenever they feel like it all the time. I think when it's cold, they're dead. Maybe not. Maybe nothing kills them. I actually don't know. And I don't really want know. But it was a big cockroach, which I know is, is better than small cockroaches, which

means that they were more likely to have been born inside, which means there's like a nest. So one big cockroach is more likely. That's just like a single cockroach. Got it. Yeah. So. Yeah. Silver lining.

Hate all of this. Emily. Okay. Something's here I have to hear this with you guys. And in order to get to it, I need to ask you each a question. Oh, this is fun. Sammy, how tall are you? Five for five.

Hanley, how tall are you? Five-eight. And how long have you known that information about yourself? I actually grew recently. Wow. I know. I used to be five-seven. And I'm five-eight now.

And when this happened, I was like, no, I said to the nurse, I was like, I'm not five-eight. I'm five-seven. And she was like, you're five-eight. She looked at me like, shut the fuck up. I know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so how tall am I? Shorter.

I don't know. Okay. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. 5-2. 5-2 my whole life. It's all my license. I'm in 5-2 my whole life.

I know myself as being 5-2. I'm 5-foot-2. Except that I'm 5-3. I was going to say, I would have guessed 5-3 based on, like, spatial. Yeah, you don't see. 5-2 seems like too small. Well, yeah, I don't know when I became 5-foot-3-and-half. So I'm like, either I've been a fucking liar for who knows how long,

or like I'm telling you I'm maybe maybe both of us grew at the same time it is something that we like measure once and then just kind of take to be fact forever but the last time I measured it I was definitely like done I was like I was an adult you know

I was an adult woman and I'm I'm like the it has changed so much for me in a way that's like it shouldn't like I just I'm like I've been I'm Your identity is 5 too. And now you have to change that.

I'm so tall. Like I can't believe I'm a tall woman. Like I'm 5'3.3.5. That's huge. You're basically 5'4. That's crazy to me. Like it's actually like really fucking freaking me out. I, when I learned that you're, Henley, can you confirm that your feet get bigger when you have kids?

Yes. Like that really freaked me out. Like I feel like there's certain sizes. of your body that should just, yeah, reach a point and then stay that size forever. So I knew your feet could change size, but I didn't know that you could get taller. But it's like, at least it's for a reason, you know, it's like, okay, I understand that like there's stuff happening. What's happening?

And when did it happen? I guess my biggest thing is when did it happen? When was it gradual? Did I have another growth spurt? When were you last measured as five, too? Like, at the doctors. No. I actually, I don't.

I have no idea. I can't recall. But we were measuring ourselves at work the other day, just for fun. And we got to me and I was like, no, what, no. And did it like three more times. I'm five foot three and a half. Oh my God. It's so, I actually like, it's so crazy to me.

I'm having a really hard time. Well, now I feel like I need to measure myself. Because yeah, I haven't measured myself in, and they don't really do it at the doctor's office that much. No, because they're like, you know, how much. how tall are you are. And I'm like, I thought I did. You tell me. Turns out you can't.

And I don't know how long I've been wrong for. And that's really what's getting me. It's that I don't know how long I've been wrong. And I'm not who I thought I was because I thought I was a five foot two. Next time we're all in person together. Let's all measure each other. Yeah, we should. We will.

We all measure each other. Next freaking weekend we're measuring. That's going to be a huge activity. Yeah. Yes. We're all going to measure each other. because yeah then I saw my friend the other day Kim who's I guess 5-3

5-3 I think she's 5-3 and we stood next to each other we stood back to back and I'm fucking taller than her I'm like yeah I truly like when did this when did this well then I it's really you guys I can't it's really I'm having a hard time it's fine but I'm having a hard time what does this mean now Emily

what's something that it means it's just my identity is different than what I thought it was I'm gonna have to take down all your posters that say I'm 5-2. I genuinely like, because I'm just, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm a tall person. Like 5-4-3 isn't petite. I'm average. You know how I have my leapace is 6-5-shirt? Yeah.

I don't have to get one made for you. And it's 5-3 and 1 half. You should get a tattoo. You should get a tattoo that says 5-3 and a half. I just wasn't expecting to discover that in my mid-30s. I'm a different height than I thought I was. You guys, every time we take a photo with each other, I feel like a giant, like a giant. You grew an inch.

A giant giant, giant. I look so giant compared to you guys. I am. I'm towering over you. Why am I not growing an inch? Well, that's why we need to measure, Sammy. We got to measure. Maybe we all did.

I feel left out. Maybe we need to just be like measuring ourselves regularly. Maybe having a podcast makes you grow. I think that's what it is. emotionally and spiritually, but physically. Not just personally, no, that is true. And you know what, Henley, that's a great segue because speaking of growth, I watched this week's movie.

Ooh, baby. Proud of you. Baby, we're talking about some more dinosaurs. Because Triples is best, which we tried to take to its logical conclusion. There, unfortunately, is not a third dinosaur movie out lately. Doubles is second best. Doubles is pretty good. Doubles is pretty good.

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No, no, no, it's always been me. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good, all good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah. And we host the show, What's Our Podcasts here on headgum. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-on-one website platform

designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just on my website. Like, oh, do I need to go to like a, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the like. You know, it's all in one place. The video or audio or like, no, it makes it easy.

Make it easy on me, please. Yes. And you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are. And they're custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now.

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Anyway, so check out Squarespace.com slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use off for code. Headgum save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. This week, we are talking about the end of Oak Street. I'm so excited I've heard great things about this movie

I'm so excited to talk about it it just came out August 14th 2026 written and directed by David Robert Mitchell starring Anne Hathaway Ewan McGregor, Maisie Stella and Christian Conbury wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow and oh my God oh my god oh my god we have a guest here with us

it's so exciting it's my favorite person in the whole world. It's our correspondent and my husband Joel Jensen. Hello. Hello, everybody. Joel! Thank you so much. It's good to be here. It's great to

be in an official capacity, second best to Wes, who guessed on Jurassic Park, second best dinosaur movie. Our second best dinosaur expert. That is true. But it's great to be here. Thank you so much for having here. I've missed you guys. We love you, Joel. We missed you.

I'm so happy you're back. I don't tell the other guests, but you're my favorite guest. Don't tell the other guests. I won't tell anybody. Don't tell anyone. But before we dive into what's going on with you, can you just weigh in on the 5-3 situation of it all? 5-3 and a half.

5-3 and a half? Like, how did you feel when you found this out? I got hot around the collar. I got hot around the collar. I got me an Amazonian. I'm married to a tall woman. My woman is tall. I am married to an Amazon woman.

Yeah, you are. You actually are. She is an Amazon woman. And so I'm thrilled. What are those women called in Wonder Woman's Island? I was picturing the Wonder Woman Island. What are those ladies? Aren't they just called Amazonians?

Yeah, that's what I thought too. Oh, maybe that is. That makes sense. So, yeah, I'm one of those. Yep. Yeah, it's awesome for me. It's awesome for me. You've been telling everyone.

It is, I can't tell you guys, how many big long pairs of socks I've been buying. Oh, my wife, for just odds and ends. For her tall legs, that's what you mean, right? Her tall legs. Big long pairs aside. Well, yeah.

Well, there's more leg than we thought. There's a lot more leg. We've got to compensate for that leg. There's a lot more leg going on. Beautiful leggy wife. Although that extra inch could have been anywhere. It could be your head. Could be...

My head got an inch and a half taller. Could be your feet or just an inch wider. The platform feet now. Your neck could get longer, but that's still spine stuff. Like, that's not... Anyway, I don't know. We can't dwell on it. Joel... But a big long neck, I could get behind that too.

Yeah. Joel, did anything scary happen to you this week? Yeah, well, first of all, I do want to rewind and reveal something scary that happened several weeks ago that I never revealed to Emily, but it feels apropos because of Sammy's scary thing. Emily, I never told you this. Oh, my God. This is a big reveal. Oh, no.

The week before we moved out of our old house, I went to brush my teeth. And I was already, like, really antsy to just move out of our house. As you can recall, we were both just like, gah, let's fuck this place. Yeah. I opened the medicine cabinet to pull my toothbrush out, and there was a big fat cockroach just in the medicine cabinet. They're always in fucking medicine cabinets. That's where you find them. And it really upset me.

I killed it. I grabbed it out of the, with a prophylactic toilet paper. And I killed it and I flushed it away. And I said to myself, Emily will not know about this. Joel. That's nice. Wow. That's true love.

And there was a little bit of a moral dilemma that I had because I was like, is it better for her to know so that she can take appropriate actions and precautions? Or is it better? Maybe swap out the toothbrush just in case. You seemed off for weeks. God, I was so mad. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? There's cockroaches in here now?

Yeah, we were so, there were the point close to the end where there were like so many flies in our house in a way that was like, it was like a deep, like how you get warned there's a demon. Yeah, like the old, it felt like. It felt like sinister. It was fucked up. It was telling you to leave.

It was time. It was dying. I grabbed it and I squeezed it. You squeezed me a bare hand? You squeeze it with your bare hand? No, I had a, toilet paper. But still, you felt its body crush? Yeah, I did, and I didn't like that, but like, what else are you supposed to do? I did that to cricket once on accident, and it was like the most

disgusted I've ever been. It was, it popped exploded. Yeah, that's like with, one of the reasons why I hate to kill spiders is because you can feel them crunch, and I really don't like, I don't like an exoskeleton very much. No. It's just generally speaking. is sort of like a rule of thumb. I don't like an exoskeleton. Yeah. I mean, do it over there, you know. It's like, yeah, you can exist. Just do it over there. Just do it over there. I do it over there.

I do have a policy. This is stolen from one of my old friends when it comes to spiders where anything shoulder height or above, spiders can do whatever the hell they want. But if they come below shoulder level, then it's fair game for me to kill them. It's up to me. Well, Joel, can you imagine what it's like now to discover your shoulder sits an inch and a half higher? The inch and a half.

makes a big difference. Well, we don't know. It could have happened above the shoulder. It could have 100% above the shoulder. Only her shoulders got taller. It's really strange. Just like just her forehead. She's got tall shoulders all of a sudden. It's just my, yeah, follicles. But my other scary thing that happened actually this week is I have been sleeping really poorly. I think I have sleep apnea. I think I have to just like come to terms with that. And so I think I have to get a CPAP. And so you have to schedule in a at the doctor. And so I haven't even done it yet. I simply resigned myself to having to do it. And I had a crash out the other day just after being like, I have to go to the doctor. I fucking, I lost my mind.

I became so sad, inconsolably sad at the idea of having to go to the doctor to get a physical. I hate it. There's like, there are things that I need to really explore emotionally and psychologically with this because it is, it is insane. how bad of a reaction I had just to the idea just to being like okay I have to schedule an appointment I really had a bad time after Emily you saw it I was there I wilted like a you really did like a microwaved flower oh I'm obsessed with microwaves lately I'm in my grave and everything just to get metaphors but it was so bad and like I'm still I'm so anxious I hate it I don't want to go I I hate having to confront my body. I hate having a body. And when you go to get a physical, it's just like a doctor who, their job is to help people. But I just think it's like you, you just have to go into

a nasty room where somebody pokes at you and points out your flaws. And like, and like the miscalculations you've done as a person and how you live and like the mistakes you make and your bad habits. Yeah, you need to explore this. We need to explore this because you're not wrong, but it's... Joel, I also feel this way about doctors, actually. I hate it. It's upsetting. It's not as extreme, but I have, like, such a, I have such a deep sense of shame that, like, I've done something wrong when I'm around a doctor.

Do you guys lie to doctors ever? Lie to them? Yeah. I like, constantly. Trying to get information out of you. You're like, well, I'm not going to tell you the whole truth. Yeah. Oh, we're counting beers?

Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it is a place. you confront your failures in a lot of ways I find. And I don't want to confront my failures. They make it so hard here. So you don't go as often as you should. So then it's like scarier. And then you're like probably more is wrong. And I don't really want to know. And then it like, that's the thing. It's like it's really it would I really think it would be better if it were just like a lot easier to go to the doctor. And also. That's scary. Also I would like to have like a long term

relationship with one doctor. I have literally never had that. I disagree. I want to be a to put a mask on and have the doctor put a mask on and nobody knows who anybody is. See, and I never see them again. See, I think that I feel that way now, but I think that one reason I feel that way is because when I go to the doctor, it's like a four minute. They're like, what's wrong? I tell them what's wrong. And then they're like, okay, do this. And I'm like, okay. And then they're like, bye. And it's like, yeah, there's no like history of information to help them know what's up with your specific body. Right. That's true. Which would be nice to have. Or you're like, I think it might be this.

And they're like, no, that's wrong. And it's like, okay, well, then, well, what? Okay. The last physical I got, which was probably over 10 years ago. Oh, my God. The doctor was like, I know. The doctor was like anything going on that you want to tell me about. And I was like, oh, this, this.

And he goes, well, how old are you? And I said, you know, 30 or whatever. And he goes, no, no, don't worry about it. And that was it. Yeah. I'm not 30 anymore. Well, how old are you? Look at my chart.

Like, you have, what? Yeah. And exactly, no, that also too, of just being like, you're fine. Don't worry about it. That's like being like, how tall are you? It's like, actually, maybe I don't know. And maybe you need to tell me. Maybe that's your job, man.

Maybe I had to jump through a lot of hoops for you to look at my chart. But the last time I went to the doctor, I actually went to the doctor to get to updated prescription. And she was like, hey, it's been a while since you've had a physical. Would you like to do one right now? And I went, no. No, thanks. Oh, is it up to me?

No, I'll come in a later date when I feel better about myself. I'll be here. I love to do that. Be like, oh, no. I'll schedule something and it's like we both know that I'm foolish it. Yeah. And then six months go by and I, I break down into an emotional jello pile when I decide that I have to actually do it.

As an incentive for you, Joel, I will say that I've known the CPAP. A, it's not as cumbersome as it used to be. And B, it's like life changing. I was going to say, if you're totally of sleep ap. Yeah. At least dad was really telling me about it.

I talked about it on the podcast. So you can sleep so much better. Yeah. And everyone commented like CPAP. CP's release. changed the game. Wait, do you use a CPAPS Amy?

No, but I've, I've suspected that I have sleep apnea and, you know, it might be in my future. But, yeah, a lot of the listeners said that it was like, breathing is so important. And sleep is so important.

Yeah, I do wake up in the night going like, you know what I mean? That does happen to me. And it's stupid that I do that. And like, you can go to a doctor and they can correct those issues for you, which is like, that's the point. But then you have to go like,

well, doctor, I have a body and it's not flawless You're already here first It's not flawless Part of me wants to get a seatep machine Even if I don't have sleep apnea Just because I want to sleep Yeah is it just like

In Vegas where they have the oxygen bars That's yeah Yeah just extra breathing Which is like that seems only good Um okay Well something else you did Scary this week Joel I know is that you saw this movie with me And you saw it twice

You saw it twice I did see it twice. I saw twice so that I could give a good recap. But I loved this movie. I loved it more on the second viewing, in fact. Wow. Yeah. Spoiler alert, we loved this movie. I also just want to say if you're watching the video episode,

or if you're not, and you'd like to, just know that I'm recording from my bedroom, which is my favorite room in the world, and also Mabel's sleeping on the bed behind me, and it's really cute. It's really, really, really cute. She looks like a little barn owl. She really does.

She looks like a little snowy owl. Oh, she does have the face of an owl. She actually really does. The eyes of a lizard in the face of an owl, for sure. She really does. And Emily's room is incredible also just to give like a little descriptor. Yes, sorry. I'm comfortable with that. Like, that is the truth.

It's hot pink everything and canopy bed with some velvet pink stairs, double stairs. Imagine how sexy that becomes with a big fat CPAP machine. I know. Chug it away like a diesel engine. You're like, do they make it in pink? Can I get a pink one? I spray paint it. I spray paint your CPAP.

No, I want, I want, I want, I want. Okay, okay, okay. The end of Oak Street, you guys. A little bit trivia. That's an 86% on Rotten Tomatoes. Nice. A 68 on Metacritic. Could be better.

And a 6.6 on IMDV. Really interesting sort of mixture here. But we are recording this. This is still opening weekend. The budget was 80 to 92 million, somewhere in that $12 million range, give or take. Box office 47 million as of right now. So they're going to want to make some more money. They're going to make some more.

I think they will. I hope they do. I think it'll do really well on streaming most likely if it doesn't catch legs and have a nice long tail. I do think it was not marketed all that great. Yeah. I haven't really heard anything about it. It's so fun. Even when I found out Anne Hathaway was in it, I was like, wait, what is this movie?

Like, I didn't... She's really having a year. Yeah, she is. She's really having a year. It was one of those movies where afterwards, you know, after the movie ends, you go to pee because you've just been sitting in movie theater for two hours. So you get, you out of pee. And no line for the women's room. Big line for the men's room.

Men like dinosaur movies. Okay. A little bit of trivia. There's not much. but Oscar Isaac was originally attached to be in this movie. Oh, I bet it would have done better with him. It probably would have, but I actually...

He was replaced by Ewan McGregor, and I like that casting better. Yeah, it's maybe more fitting. Like, Oscar Isaac would have been amazing, obviously. Yeah. We'll talk about it as we go, but Ewe and McGregor turns in a really fascinating performance that is...

I'm having a hard time picturing Oscar Isaac. It's too cool. Oscar Isaac... But, I mean, he did play... a bit of a like, you know, kind of a beta in beef, but like... It's true. But he still is too cool. Like, he's still

really hot. And I think that it's important that this character not be really hot. Sorry, Ewan. Anne Hathaway was a fan of David Robert Mitchell's previous film, it follows, as are we?

And told him that she wanted to work with him someday, and after finishing the script of the end of Oak Street, he sent it to her. And she quickly came on board, which I love. She's fucking fantastic in this. Absolutely thrilled to see her. According to cinematographer, Mike Jilakis, there are approximately 66 individual split diopter shots in this movie.

Tons of split diopters. What does that mean? So it's when one person, part of one person's face is in focus in the foreground and somebody in the background. It's like, two planes of focus. Oh, that's very, it follows. Very it follows. It follows.

And we learned from Allison Williams that it's very difficult to achieve. Oh, we've already learned this. From an acting perspective because you have to be like very still to like for the camera to be able to focus on the two things. So the fact that it's all over the place here is like very impressive and really effective.

Like I can think of one scene specifically where it's like it's the normal like when people are talking and it cuts back and forth. But every single one of the cutting back and forth is a split diopter and it's like really cool. It automatically makes a movie feel very classic. Yeah, I've heard this movie described as Spielbergian, but like what you kind of wish Spielberg was doing these days. Yeah, just another chance for me to dunk on Disclosure Day, which I remind her hated.

It's a, when you, and I'm saying this a million times, we'll get into it, I probably, but like, it is a really rich text of a film when you're like thinking of the Amblin of it all, how it is paying homage to Amblin, how it is subverting. Amblin. It's really fun in that context. Yeah. Yeah. I really, really enjoyed it. I'm excited to talk about it. I'm excited that Joel saw it twice

because it definitely would have been difficult for me on a one viewing. And I'm just going to name the dinosaurs that are in this movie, as gathered from dinopedia. com, we've got ourselves an allosaurus, a quellophysis.

Spinosaurus, a stegosaurus, a garginaia. Grace, bleep that out, please. Gargina. Do I hear that correctly? Emily's gargina got really tall. The gargina. A Camarasaurus, a pteractylus. And is that what a teradactyl is called?

A teradactylist? Joel? I don't know, but I wonder if it's like a naming convention for a dinosaur within the teradactal group. But I don't know. A cypionics. An ankylosaurus.

I was hoping you were going to say that. That's Silas' favorite dinosaur. One of my favorites too when I was a kid. Which I thought in the movie was a T-Rex. It's not. It's an ankylospon. Well, it has such strong, strong, strong armor. And it's a plant eater.

No, you're thinking of the alosaurus, Emily. Oh, sorry, what's the anclosaurus? Ankylosaurus is like a tank, a little tank. Enkylosaurus. Yeah, it's like a little tank, it's so protected. It's so protected. Enkylosaurus. And then this other, like, closely related canclosaurus, which is cool.

Doesn't get a lot of screen time, the canclosaurus. It's not fair. Not as much as the Gargiana. I'm going to just get a visual on this Gargagina. Yeah, this is a move is a brained triple-ups. I don't mean the dinosaur. There's a tropionthus. Jules, let me go, okay?

A megalo cellist and a titan. Yo-Yo-ma plays that one. I should. Shut up. It's so stupid. So dumb. Mo-cap, they mo-capped Yo-Yo-ma. All right.

Sorry. A titano boa. Which translates to Titanic Boa. I just thought you'd like that. I do like that. Wow, I'm not familiar with Titanboa. He's my favorite dinosaur. Steels the show.

He's my favorite dinosaur in the movie. He is, I saw a post on Reddit that was like, wow, horror movie villain of the year. Oh, I can't wait. And a haughty, a real hotty. He's really funny and really scary, which is what you want. As hot as King Kong? Hot. Depending on what you're into.

Oh my God. Okay. That's all I've got. So I think we should watch the trailer. Ooh, baby. Hen, do you know any, do you guys know anything about this movie? No, I literally don't. I didn't even know it was about dinosaurs. That's how little I knew about it. I know nothing about it. I've seen the trailer, but I'm excited to see it again. Okay. Let's, let's give it a little looksy. Okay. Mom. To us. Our house street. Not even possible. Fuck yeah. I'm amped. So fun. What a fun thing for.

David Robert Mitchell to do. What has he done since it follows? Under the Silver Lake. Okay. And I think that's it. Yeah, he's not like churning him out. Yeah, he's currently doing they follow. He's picking and choosing and he's picking and choosing this.

Right. He picked and chose this. He wrote this. He picked and chose to wrote this. I love this. He dedicated it to his father who passed away in 2024 who loved dinosaurs. Oh. Apparently that then the credits, there's like a photo of,

an old photo of like him and his dad. Oh, that's really sweet. This is like a horror movie version of a kid's book. This is what I love it. It felt like I was going to try to find a joke about Emily Wilson's scathing critique of the Odyssey based on her expertise. But it feels like an adaptation of the shit that eight-year-old boys draw in school. Like it just felt like dinosaurs in a suburban neighborhood. And the way it plays out is very much like.

very much what little kids are drawing of dinosaurs eating people in a, in a driveway. You know what I mean? It's awesome. I fucking love this. A very loyal adaptation of that, of being an eight-year-old. Of that vibe. Yeah. Silas has listened, he can't read yet, but Silas has listened to probably like 30 Magic

Treehouse books. And Magic Tree House could be horror, but it's not just because nothing really that bad happens and the kids are always happy and they're always fine. but like if you just change those two things immediately horrific everything that going on in magic tree house yeah those little details are very important in um if something is a horror movie or not and this movie really understands that i love it this movie's like yeah we're gonna give you a sort of Jurassic park vibe like kids and yeah like ambliness the kids on bikes in the in the early 80s um and also like what it what fucking dinosaurs would do to a bunch of suburban people if they were there.

They're not trying to sell any merch with this movie is kind of the difference between this and an Amblin movie. And it is really fun that it very much is aware of what it's pulling from Amblin type stories and filmmaking techniques. And it very much then angles on subverting those and kind of like not sneering at it, but just like it has a really cruel sense of

humor about what it's doing, that makes for a very, very, very delightful movie-going experience. Great. You're like, yeah, this is what it would be like, you fucking eight-year-olds. Okay, Joel, I'm going to let you take it away because I know that you took notes and I didn't. Okay. We open with this like very kind of idyllic, pleasantville style music and open on a wide shot of this beautiful perfect suburb called Flower Vale. And then we zoom into Oak Street and there's a summer block party happening. The whole neighborhood

is out. There's a lot of people who live in this suburban area. Thank God there's this much density in a suburb because we get a lot of cannon fodder for later. It's the most densely packed neighborhood block party I've ever seen. Community is so important. Community is so important. We only had it in the 80s and that was it. That's right. And we move in. There's a potato sack race happening. And this is our main family. I forget what their last name is, but it's... The Hathaway's? The Hathaway's.

The McGraths. They're doing a potato sack race. And, you know, it's like, again, just like really idealistic and idyllic. Idealistic. It's just idyllic. And they're getting along great. And then we, you know, a little bit later, the dad played by Union McGregor. His name is Greg. He's talking with one of his neighbors and his neighbors like, you just have an amazing family. And Greg's like, yeah, thanks, man.

I know. It's awesome. And then we follow the kids around at the block party. And first is their son named Brian, who is walking up the street with their dog named Starbuck, who's like a little blue healer. It's my favorite kind of dog. I meant to say that in the trailer. I love these dogs. He's so cute.

And I was like... Starbucks. What's that from? Moby Dick. Moby Dick. Great. I was like, I can't just be from Starbub. You're like this is pre-Starbucks.

So what the fuck is happening right now? What could they reference be? What the fuck could this be? So then Starbucks is referencing Moby Dick? Yes. The coffee chain? Yes. Starbucks used to be cool.

Yeah. It's not anymore. Well, the logo's a mermaid, right? Yeah. Is there mermaids in Moby Dick? No. But that's just a reference to Moby Dick having something to do with water. It's not even like a big deal in Moby Dick.

Uh-uh. Anyway. Let's stay on this. Let's stay. We don't want to leave yet. We can talk about me, Nick. And so we meet the son, Brian. He's walking their dog, Starbucks.

And Anne Hathaway, her name is Denise. The mother is like, hey, I told you, you know, we agreed that you couldn't bring Starbuck out. He's, like, too excitable. He, like, steals people's food. He's too rambunctious. And he was like, well, dad told me I could. He said it was okay.

And so she's kind of like, motherfucker like, I've been undermined. But she wants to, you know, be liked. And so she lets it go and kneels down to Starbuck and it's like, hey, you got to promise me you'll be good. Like, don't steal anybody's hot dogs. Just like, be a good boy and we'll be all right. But she's like aggravated about this.

But clearly, Brian and Starbuck have a very close relationship. We then go to their daughter. Her name is Audrey. And she is playing like water balloon toss game with like the hot neighbor boy and another a neighbor girl who's like cooler than her obviously and they're like what are you going to do after you know we graduate and um this girl is like you know i'm going to get a job at the factory or whatever and what do you want to do and audrey's like i if i could afford it we can't afford it but i really would like to go to cornell and study like astronomy under carl sagan he teaches there and

he's the guy and she was the girl's like who's carl sagan she's like he's the guy you know who said like human beings we live uh we live uh we're We're like a butterfly who lives for one day but thinks it lives forever. And the girl's like, oh, that's like really depressing. And Audrey's like, no, I think it's actually really beautiful. And then she gets hit in the face with a water balloon because she's not paying attention. She's a little bit of a dork. She's embarrassed in front of the hot guy.

And then she meets back up with her brother and they're sitting on the curb. She hasn't dried her face off. Her face is still dripping wet. But they watch their parents. they're like barbecuing up some dogs and brots and Greg is telling Denise like, hey, I'm not going to be able to stick around for this. I got to go do some deliveries. And she's like, hey, like, what are you talking about?

We agreed. We know we needed a family day. I don't want you leaving for work. And he's like, well, what's the big deal? You said you were going to stop doing all these side jobs. Yeah. And then he's like, I'll just make some extra cash. In the 80s?

Yeah. In this economy? I'm so confused about the time period here. It's 1982. But at first I did think it was like he was doing like and it follows thing where we're sort of like in no specific time. Only only because it's like so idyllic looking that it's like this can't be a real moment in time.

Yeah. Because it's like it's very, very wholesome. Yeah, but we'll pick that apart as we go. And he's like, I don't know what the big deal is. And she's like, you don't ever deal with the problem. You just pretend nothing is happening. Like when are we going to have the conversation that we both know that we need to have? like the kids can sense it

um Brian is acting out like they know they're smart enough to know you know the D word is hanging over this meanwhile we cut to the kids and they're like do you think mom and dad are really going to do it and Audrey's like

no they they would never don't worry about it they're like probably Audrey I guess is probably 17 16 17 Brian's 13 and so they have this argument where she just is like you you just like constantly skirt the problem. You never acknowledge that there is a problem. And it's like,

it's driving me crazy and like, we need to like have this out. And he's like, you know what? I just, we'll talk about later. I just got to go to work. So he leaves. And after he leaves, Denise is upset. But she decides to go check in on one of their neighbors who's still in her house. And as she walks in her house, we get the like radio VO basically that's like a newscaster being like talking about how there's like these space ripples. that are happening, these, like, mysterious space ripples. You know, something's afoot. And physicists are confused, and they don't have an explanation for what's happening.

But Denise goes into her neighbor's house, and it's just, like, very sweet old lady. And they have this conversation about a manuscript that Denise has written. She's an aspiring writer, clearly had high hopes for herself at one point in her life as a writer, but settled down into suburban family life and is still trying to... to like recapture that, which I think, you know, is part of the reason that she would be frustrated with her husband, kind of real pretending everything's fine all the time. It's like not addressing like her legitimate wants and needs emotionally. And the manuscript that she's written is about basically like a suburban mother who is constantly thinking about abandoning her family and like

moving away to New York to escape it. And this old lady's like, I just like, this is such a beautifully written thing. And she was like the editor of her husband's books. So she like knows what she's talking about. And she's like, I just can't believe you would write this. And Denise is like, it's just a story. Like, it's not about me. Right. It's not about it. It's not about me.

It's not about me. It's not about me. While, uh, thinking about leaving. Meanwhile, Denise is literally crying while she's denying that it's about her. But it's like a really nice. This is a really sweet old lady. And who's like very generous with her time and like really wants to keep

you know, reading these manuscripts as they come out because she genuinely thinks they're really good and Denise is kind and grateful for the support. But she's like, you know, before the old lady's like, you know, before you leave Denise, actually, I do want to show you something. There's something like weird in my backyard. Would you mind having a look? And so she's like, yeah, of course, they go outside.

And there is this crazy little pineapple, pineappley tropical plant that has grown smack in the middle of, I think her name is Mrs. Hudleston. Mrs. Huddleston's yard. It's like a quite mature plant with a big old pineapple-y fruit on top of it that could not have possibly like sprung up overnight. And it's not native to the region.

Not native to the region. Denise is like, where did this come from? And Huddleston doesn't know. It wasn't there the other day. Now it is. But clearly that's years worth of growth. Maybe somebody is doing a prank and planted it there. Whatever. Very funny.

prank. Just planting a beautiful plant. And she, so Denise decides she will, you know, get back to her, try to figure out what's going on. She takes a picture of it with her little, um, Polaroid camera. Oh, yeah, she has a little Polaroid camera. She takes a picture of it. Meanwhile, while this is happening, Brian, her son walks by on like a, there's a lot of little kind of back alley pathways throughout the neighborhood.

And he walks by with his group of friends and he's, this part's very amblin. They're like cuty little boys and little shorts and, you know, like a little rag tag group of 13-year-old boys. Yeah, and Brian has a bow and arrow strapped around himself and, you know, they fancy themselves very cool. And they're talking about how Brian needs to like really watch out because the big brother of, so Brian threw like a stick into the spokes of another kid's bike and the kid fell off and broke his arm. And the kid's brother is looking for Brian to beat his ass. and Brian's like I don't know I'm really worried

I'll shoot with my bow and arrow and it's like and it's like Brian's not a bad kid but this is maybe like the acting out like they're like what did you think what's happening he's like I thought he'd kind of like go flying it'd be funny

and but then he wasn't meaning to break his arm he's not a mean kid but yeah and I basically hate this kid for the entirety of this movie Ryan I think he's kind of cute he's a really good depiction

of a 13 year old little stupid ass boy But he's like sweet. Like he's a sweet kid. Is he going to be able to identify the plant as coming from like the Cretaceous period? We'll see. But no. He's fucking useless, which is I think one of those things where in the amblin of it all,

it is really funny that he's just completely useless as in any capacity. He's just a stupid 13 year old kid. Not like in Jurassic Park where one of them is like a hacker. Exactly. We get a little bit of that a little bit later, but definitely not with it. little kid. But he loves his bow and arrow and we'll see more of it. So as they're walking with his, you know, rag-tig crew, they walk past a house and they see the new girl in town. She's their age. She's really pretty, very mysterious. She goes to private school. And they're all like,

what the heck is private school? Do you have to be rich to go to private school? No, I think you just have to be Catholic. Big laugh. One of the little boys goes, I could be Catholic. I might convert. which is like the joke of a 50-year-old man put him to this little 12-year-old I know I might convert for that So then we cut to later We're at the, Denise is at the library And she has her photo of this plant

That she took the Polaroid And she's looking through books of, you know, Local Flora Trying to figure out what this thing could be And nothing is really matching up So she walks to the librarian Who is a very kind woman Who also happens to live in the biggest

most beautiful house I've ever seen. Talk about an idyllic town. Denise asks her about this plant and she... Somehow the librarian is like, knows what it is. And she says, that looks like a... Well, she's a librarian. Yeah, she has... So she has all knowledge. She's Google.

She's the keeper of knowledge, yeah. And she, like, really loves Denise, too. Yeah. It's clear that Denise is very well liked in this community. This woman is like, oh, hi, Denise, how are? You know, they have a nice little relationship. And Denise's can't figure out. And she shows the picture, and the librarian says,

I think that's like a philomilomilabillabalbillab. Wow. That's so advanced. Are you able to name it? Yeah. Denise is like, oh, wow. But the librarian says, but that's impossible

because those things have been extinct for 200 million years. And so Denise laughs and says, Mrs. Huddleston will get a kick out of that. So she goes home, and as she's walking up her driveway, she is kind of accosted by their neighbor, Mel,

who is a twerpy guy really agro and is complaining about Starbuck who dug under the fence again last night and shit all over his yard and barked all night and has been driving him crazy. I mean, fair. Fair, but Mel is also like a dick. He's really a dick. He's like, hey, I got it. He's like that kind of vibe.

Yeah, we got to talk, blah, blah, blah. And she's like trying to smooth it over. And he goes, and you know what, though, if I catch your dog in my yard again, one more time, I'm gonna shoot it. And Denise goes, she takes her sunglasses off. She goes, you know, Mel, Greg is too nice to say this. So I will. If you so much is pointing to get at my dog,

I'm gonna burn your fucking house down. I love that. She's like hardcore. And Greg is cowed. He skulks away having been, you know, maugged. Mogged. She mogged him.

He skulks away having been mawed. Threat, threat, Threatmogged him. Oh, she threat mugged him for sure. She bursts into the house and goes, kids, you know who I just monged out there? And they're like,

what time period is this? What time period is it? So, and then a little bit later, Greg comes home from his side job, which is delivering pizzas in a rickety little car. He has like a pizza sign for Pete's pizza on top.

It's obviously not glamorous. He pulls in. Brian comes home at the same time and Greg is like Hey Brian can you help me get the pizza sign off the car It embarrasses your mom She doesn't really like to see it

Out here so could you help me get it We'll load into the drive Or into the garage where she can't see it But I've got pizza For dinner We got a lot of pizza so we're happy I found this to be so heartbreak Yeah

Like what's his normal job Do we know already What is like day job is? We'll learn No but it's yeah Okay Soon and as he's unloading or like, you know, detaching it with Brian, who's being very sweet about it,

Greg turns to him and goes, hey, when are you going to stop smoking cigarettes? And Brian's like, I don't smoke cigarettes. And he goes, yeah, I know you do. I can smell them. Stop lying to me. And he's like, okay. And he's like, you know, your grandfather got his vocal cords cut out because of cigarettes. Do you want that to happen to you?

And does dadding, but still in his way where he's like, you know, like, hey, it's okay. just like, you help me out with this, knock that shit off, and, you know, help me load this stuff in, you're all right. And he is a good father. And I think now is the time to maybe note in his performance just to paint the picture as we continue. He is playing this. The first time I saw it, I was like, is he bad in this?

Or I was like, is he bad or is he making a choice to make you have the feeling that he's like, there's something off and there's something just like, un-charismatic about him in his performance. And that, I believe, is really, he made this intentional choice to be, like, very emasculated. But in a way that is, he's not being emasculated by anybody in particular.

He's just failing to live up to these ridiculous standards that the nuclear family has put on men and is aware of it and is unable to rise above it in a way that is, conventional. And so the whole time you're watching me, you're kind of like, oh, you little dweeb. There's like something that is off putting about him, but he's so kind and he deals with conflict so well for the most part. It's just really interesting. And I've been thinking a lot about it. And what it means in the context of a movie about, you know, going back into dinosaur times and like

what humanity is when it's facing that kind of threat. Anyway, I'll probably talk too much about it and be annoying later. But it's a fascinating performance. It really is, and he's not doing anything wrong. And, I mean, he's, you know, yeah. But you can see how, as a woman, you can see how you'd be like, I'm not attracted to this man. Do you know what I mean? Like, there is something where you're like...

He lacks confidence. He's beta, he's like betaed. But when you, then you stop and think about it and you're like, no, this dude is also doing everything he has to do to survive. And, like... Like, he's trying. He's not being a piece of shit. He's not being, like...

But you are just like... like, ugh, there's something like, yeah. Is it his hair? It partially is his hair. It looks like a wig, but it's not. It has to be a wig. You think? It's definitely a wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a wig.

But it's just like, it's worth, it's really worth, like, as we conceive of the rest of the movies, it's like. He's also doing, like, you know, a Midwestern American accent. Real corny. He's got, like, little 80s shorts. And, like, he's just kind of like. A loser. Yeah, you can see how if that was your husband over time.

you would be a little bit like, which is again why I'm like, I actually don't think it can be Oscar Isaac. Exactly. Yeah. He's too cool. Yep. His hair could never look bad.

No, exactly. So, you know, they go in, we cut to them eating dinner around the table, eating pizza, and they're having a really good time. They're like talking about the old days, this like one story about when Brian was a baby and he pooped in the bathtub.

And Brian's like, it wasn't that much poop. And they're all like, yeah, dude, it was actually a ton of poop and they're all laughing. And Denise, cracks a smile. There's something still there. They make fun of Mel. They make fun of Mel. Starbucks is like really pulling on this dog toy because she's like, Mel threatened Starbucks. And the kids are like,

this is like, this is Mel's balls. And Starbucks is like pulling on the toy. And they're all like, ha, ha, ha, I got Mel's ball. Like they're like, they have like a fun family dynamic. Family team, yeah. Yeah. Like their vibe is good. But yeah. Anne Hathaway has like a thousand yard stare at one point where you can tell she's just like, I want to be somewhere else. Yeah. Because it's also like they're doing jokes about chewing with their mouths open

and... It's not glamorous. You know, yeah, it's just not glamorous. But it's fun and like she can't help but laugh and enjoy herself anyway. So we cut to later it's night. Greg has fallen asleep on the couch. Denise is working on her novel in the basement. She only works on it in the basement

where nobody can see her where she can't really be accessed, where she can't really be heard. Because she's kind of embarrassed of her own, she's embarrassed both of what she's writing and of her desire to be a writer. And so she tries to kind of hide it from everybody. There's also a couple moments where we see like the evening, everybody in the house is doing their own thing. They're all like very isolated little. Yeah. So I don't know, there's just like that's an important feeling that you're getting is like they're each living

their own little separate world. Yeah. And then later that night when they're all kind of in bed, there is this kind of strange event where this light starts to kind of flicker and glow, like kind of almost as if a UFO is landing on their house. It's just like cold blue light glows. Wind starts blowing like crazy and it wakes Brian up and he like looks out the window and he's like, what the hell was that? Starbuck is barking. Starbuck is barking. And then we get a very, very Spielbergian shot of Starbuck. Like the camera's like dollying it on Starbuck while the light is flickering and he's barking. And then we come to the next morning.

Everybody's eating cereal. They're all just kind of hanging out and talking. Brian's like, hey, did anybody, do those lights wake anybody up last night? And everybody's like, no, I don't remember anything like that. But he was like, that was crazy. He was really weird. I don't know what it was. And Greg is like, maybe it was a UFO.

And, you know, they're laughing and having fun. They get a knock on the door. And it's Mel, the neighbor. And he's like, ha, ha, ha. Great prank. You guys must be so proud of yourself. Oh, you planted a toy. 200 million-year-old flower in my garden.

And Greg and Denise, like, what are you talking about? Nobody did anything to you. What do you mean? And Mel's like, let me show you. And he's pissed. And they go over, Greg goes over to Mel's house, and in the backyard is a huge pile of shit. Huge. Like the Jurassic Park Triceratops pile of shit type situation, but just in his backyard.

An absolute mound. Mound. Flies and buzz around it. How would they do that? That's such a funny thing to be like, oh, they must have just brought it. truckload of shit in here. Yeah. And like, Greg's like, that's, I think it was, that's literally hundreds of pounds of shit.

Yeah. And the kids and Denise are in their own backyard looking at this and just like laughing hysterically because it's funny that there's a huge pile of shit. But, and Mel's like, see, I knew it was you guys. And Greg's telling him, no, we didn't. But look, man, I know you're upset. None of us had anything to do with this, but I will help you get this out of here. don't worry like I'm your neighbor I'll help out it's fine relax

Brian will help too and Brian's like oh what and Greg shakes his hand and Mel says thank you and there again we see how there's like this something with about Greg is so good at what he needs to do it's just not this like he didn't threaten Mel he didn't shove Mel he didn't do like macho man shit he just smoothed it over and eliminated the Well, the overlying problem, not the underlying problem. So it's just a, he's just a really interesting character to me.

Um, so later that day, Brian is out riding bikes with his friends, very stranger things either riding around talking about, uh, whatever. And as they round the bend of one of the streets, that bully big brother and his crew are there. And so they're like, oh shit! And they, you know, turn around and ride away as fast as they can while the bully brother is like, oh, Brian, I'm going to kick your ass. Where are you? You broke my brother's arm. So I'm going to kill you. And Brian's really scared. And so he like ends up kind of splitting off from his friends. And like it's one of those bike chases with like little, those like little BMX bikes from the 80s

that are so funny when people are trying to ride them really fast because their legs are like while threatening somebody is really good. And so Brian sort of dives behind a bush. to hide from them. And it's the bush in the front yard of the new cutie girl who watches him from the window and clearly sees him cowering. And again, he's just

like a little loser. And he just hides and is like scared, scaled and really thinks he's going to get his ass kicked and is really worried about it. I hate that boys beat each other up. It's crazy. It would be really scary. It would be so scary.

Like, do I need to teach my children how to fight? Like, do they need to know? I had from a, I hid from a bully in high school one time. One time I was with my friends, we were walking around the street and a car drove by and we thought it'd be funny to flip it off. And it turned out it was this really mean guy from our high school who like notoriously like beat the shit out of people all the time. And so we had to run through our neighborhood. I like, I did hide in a bush to get away from him. There's always like a story about that happening too. I don't, we got to, we gotta cut that out, you guys. We got to cut that out. We got to cut that out.

So now we're back in their house. It's that night. Audrey is on the roof. She's like reading her Carl Sagan book, looking at the stars. Greg comes home late from delivering pizzas. It's probably like 10, 45 at night. We all go to sleep and all of a sudden the lights come back.

And it's even bigger this time and rattles the house. It's like really storming. It's like pouring rain. And it wakes everybody. up and they walk out of their beds and like the clocks have all stopped working it's 11.05 and they find everybody finds each other in the house like what the hell was that that was crazy it was like crazy lightning everybody's ears popped as if they had been on an airplane yeah um everything just seems really strange and the powers out and they're like what the what the heck was that and and audrey's all of a

sudden like the rain stopped it's like really quiet outside yeah all of a sudden is quiet uh until they hear a blood-curdling scream from somewhere on the block and then another and another and it's like bloody murder type scream and they all start getting scared and the parents are like hey like everybody like go check on Starbucks make sure the back door is locked

that's okay everybody's staying here how about we all sleep in the living room tonight and you know it's all fine and Audrey's like why don't dad you need to go like check on whoever was screaming and see if they need help and he's like that's what the police are for that's fine he does open the door and scream like hello hello and nobody answers

he does try and he realizes that the powers out of over the whole neighborhood and you can't call the police if you wanted to the phones are down yeah phones are down and but he's like you know police come like we live in a nice neighborhood police will be here don't worry but all the same he goes into the garage

grabs a baseball bat and then pulls out of his little hidden fifth of whiskey, has himself a little nip, and then goes back inside. And they all go to sleep. And the next morning they all kind of wake up suddenly, power's still out, and they realize that Starbucks has gotten out in a way. They, like, didn't bring him inside for some reason that he's in a doghouse, but he's, like, chewed through his... Well, it's the 80s. Yeah, people didn't have their dogs in, I guess. He's, like, chewed through his leash and run away, bolted. So they're like, fuck, we're going to have to

like find him. The power's still out. Maybe we should, we should just like drink the leftover milk before it goes bad, which this is the thing about this movie. I, like, on my second view, I was really thinking about this a lot of like, there's a lot of little subtle things about mammals and people life versus like reptilian dinosaur life. And so there's this like motif about milk. Just chugging milk. Or mammals. Well, everything in the refrigerator, we have to be really careful about so it doesn't go bad. And so we have to drink the milk that only mammals like. before it curdles or whatever. And I think about milk a lot because of the monkey thing,

which I've talked about on the podcast before. Well, and I think about milk a lot because the monkey thing again. I used to love milk and then I saw a documentary about monkeys and one scene of the documentary was these monkeys going absolutely fucking crazy for milk. Oh my gosh. Because it's like calorie rich or whatever and I was like, okay, I can't drink milk anymore.

These two printed out. If monkeys are going this nuts full, it, like fighting each other and partying when they get it, then I can't be, I can't be drinking. I can't be having that. I can't be having. So they have some cereal with the milk. And Denise is like, hey, Greg, like, are you going into work today or what? He's like, it's okay.

I can go in late. It's no big deal. He works at a Chrysler dealership. He's like, you know, the power is out. I can just tell him about it. They'll be fine. So I'm going to go actually look for Starbucks before I go in. And Denise says, I'll go with you so that I can check on Mrs. Huddleston

just to make sure she's okay if the power's out and everything. I just want to double check on her. So they leave, they go outside. As soon as they step outside, or he takes the baseball bat with him because he's still a little bit anxious about all of this. And they tell the kids like, don't leave until we come back, lock the doors, you know, whatever. They step outside.

As soon as they step outside, it is hot as fuck. It's humid, sweat, beltering, and they're walking on the street, all is quiet, until they come upon a hot water geyser. This is like a water spraying up. That's like cracked through the pavement. Denise thinks that, oh, the water, that's what a water main broke. Right. That's why I don't have any water.

And Greg walks up and it's scalding hot. He's like, this is not a waterman. This is something else. So weird, whatever. But I'm going to go, I have a feeling that the dog is at the McAllister's yard. where he likes to go. So I'm going to go look for him there. You can go ahead and check on Mrs. Huddleston. So they split up. And meanwhile, at home, Audrey is back out on her roof, just kind of like hanging out, reading. And she sees their neighbor across the street, like,

walk, walk, walk out into his car and his tie in his slacks to go to work. So he drives away. She sees a cat across the street, just kind of doing its own thing. And then it walks past the house, and then she hears it screech, like a nasty cat screech. And she turns around and and doesn't see the cat, but she sees some fucking huge thing lumbering through the woods behind their house. And she starts to, like, get really scared and is, like, calls for Brian to come and take a look, and he comes up and tells her, you're really freaking me out what's going on. And she's trying to get him to look out the window. And by the time he finally does, all they see is just the back tail, the tip of the tail of a large, I think Ankylosaur, like a clubby tail, like slither

through into the woods. And both of them are freaked out by this. It's like a giant monster. But it's lumbering on mining its own business. We cut back to Denise at Mrs. Huddleston's house. She's knocking on the door. Ms. Huddleston is not answering.

So Denise walks in, can't find Mrs. Huddleston, calls out for her, rounds the corner into the kitchen, and finds laying in a pool of blood, Mrs. Huddleston. bloody footprints large footprints lead away from her she rolls mrs huddleston over her neck has been bitten open it is a gaping wound and she's been laying on top of a rifle denise freaks out

screams terrified and from this moment on this is basically my favorite anneathaway performance that i've for me she locks the fuck in immediately she picks up the rifle loads it say get that rifle yeah she she and she like her jog goes like she's ready to fucking go and she steps outside at some point we'd seen like a photo on the wall maybe it comes later but we do see a photo of her on the wall like with a gun like as if she had like gone hunting

okay so I just like that little detail enough to be like she's shot a gun yeah and you also like back to that interaction with Mel she's just she's froggy she's froggy drop a frog in the comments please you guys know it do. You know what to do. Dino DNA, anybody?

So she steps outside into the backyard where that little, funky little tree was only to discover that now there is a full, tilt, lush, prehistoric jungle back there, like, impenetrable, massive trees, crazy fruits. Crazy fruits. Just a dinosaur time is behind the house. Whatever killed her came from there and went back out there. And so she, you get this awesome, very Spielbergy shot of just Anne Hathaway's face, just sort of taking this in, not screaming, but just sort of like locking it in and like icing herself down to be ready for whatever is coming.

Yeah. Wow. We cut then to Greg, who's in the McAllister's backyard looking for Starbucks, and he hears something rooting around in a garbage can, like a nice metal 80s garbage can. And like going like, and he's like Starbucks. Starbuck, is that you? And whatever it is that's rooting around in there lifts his head and he can only see its shadow projected against the shed in the backyard.

And it like lifts up and it's just like a long, curved neck with a pointy little face that is obviously like eight or nine feet, maybe five, three and a half feet tall. Same difference. And as soon as he sees it like reach its crest, it kind of growls and Greg goes, oh shit. And he just starts running. And another one of the nice touches of this is how bad he is at running.

He's terrible at running. Slow, sluggish, choppy, like not a hot run. But I appreciated the immediate, like, okay, I'm out of here. As he, like, jumps the fence. And so now he's on one side of the fence. Whatever it is on the other side of the fence. And we have this awesome sequence where he's in front of the fence in the foreground. You can't see whatever it is chasing, but you can see, like, close lines spinning.

chairs falling over, trees rustling all in sync with him. As he's running, he dives over another fence into a garden, and the door to the garden swings open as whatever is hunting him enters, and he like scrambles behind a big, like, brick oven barbecue in the yard, and when he finally looks up, he sees, and we got our first real dinosaur shot, and it's like basically like a velociraptor, but feathery, like a feathery version of it. Great.

long, narrow face, big, nasty, sharp teeth. And it's, like, sniffing around. And when it sees him, they, like, lock eyes. And he's like, what the fuck? And then it goes like, wha! And goes for him. And he dives through this copse of trees and falls over because he's a total clutz. And the dinosaur, like, reaches his neck through and, like, is kind of, like, caught in

the tree so it doesn't quite get him. And he just, like, wax it with the baseball bat he's carrying. And it's just like, what the fuck? I have a question. Is this shot more like an action film or is it shot like a horror film? Like you know what I mean? It varies. Like the music like like what's the yeah.

The music is very adventuring, actiony. But then there are sequences that are very horridy. This right now is actiony. This is very actiony. But there are full horror movie sequences. Yeah. Anyway, he's like, we'll tell you. We'll tell you.

He gets up, gets away from this thing. But it's like hot on his heels. and he's running through the neighborhood like, fuck, fuck! As it's like drawing closer to him and as he rounds the corner, it's just about to get him and then bang, Denise shoots it with a rifle.

She's standing right there, like, also like, what the fuck is happening? She shoots it in its leg, and it gives her this really cool look that's like, what the fuck? The dinosaur. That's never happened to me before. But it kind of like recovers

and kind of starts limping after them. They run again. Meanwhile, other Velociraptor, guys are like coming forth. Pack hunters, as we know, chasing them down. They're running down the street. It's really funny wide shots of them

just badly running down the street while just like the suburban neighborhood screaming and then these dinosaurs are after them and they run past one of their neighbors who's like an old lady who comes out and goes, what the heck is going on out here? And they're like, get inside, get inside. She's like, I heard a gunshot.

And they're like, they just keep going and then all of a sudden one of the raptors just jumps up, bites her head and rips it off on the ground. Like she's just cashed. Slash her. Slash her dino film. I love it. And that's like the tone that we're going to get. This is everybody's just going to get fucking ruined from here on out. They get to their driveway. They like bang on the door. The raptors are still coming after them. They're trying to get their kids to unlock the door. Please open up, open up. The raptors are coming. They're coming. There's more neighbors like pulling out of their cars across the street

to like go to school or whatever. Behind them. And you get so much mileage of like, you know this kind of shot where it's like chaos is happening and then somebody else is like doing something normal with like music playing just going about their business and then like intercutting between that you get a lot of mileage out of that right now. Like vacuum and listening to there. And then like you know little girls like daddy what's that? At the last minute the kids open the door they get inside and like the rafters are like trying to like break the door down eventually they give up and they're all sort of well that just happened. Quite the opposite. Actually this is there's no glibness in this movie which is one of the reasons why it's so good.

But they're just sort of like, holy shit, what was that? This is crazy. Kids are like screaming, crying. Like, they're very fucking freaked. Meanwhile, in the background, as will remain for the rest of the movie, this has like my favorite sound design of the year. There's just gunshots and screams constantly from like everywhere in the distance because all hell is breaking loose everywhere always.

Like what's happening to them is happening to other people all the time. So, you know, first things first, your first instinct thing is like, we got to get in the car and get the fuck out of here. So they jump in the car, try to drive away. As they drive down the street, it is just carnage. There are dinosaurs just housing everybody in their neighborhood, jumping out of their own houses, biting them, dragging them, like, ripping people's heads off. One of the things I really like is that you have, like, at every height level, there's a dinosaur doing something.

So, like, there's dinosaurs that are low to the ground eating people. There are dinosaurs that are human height eating people. There's giant dinosaurs eating people. There's pterodactyls, like flying in and getting people. All while we're driving down the street, cars are like running into each other. people are sprinting away, getting leapt on. It is fucking mayhem. And they round the corner to get out of there,

and it's, boom, just jungle, just an impenetrable jungle wall. They go another route. It is a swamp. And there's like a big alligator dinosaur swimming around in there. They go another, and it's all like a perfect circle. Like the borders are just like sharp.

And then they go to another one, and it's just like a cliff because it's like their neighborhood is on a hillside. A cliff and a, at the edge of the cliff, it's like the end of, it's like a road. And there's a school bus like sliced in half as if it was like, like, it didn't fall off the cliff. It's like a clean, sharp line at the cliff's edge. Like guillotine. Yeah. And then at the bottom of that drop off is dinosaur jungle and like big brachiosaurus and teradactals and everything just a millyew of dinosaurs.

And they're all sitting in the car just like, uh, what the, fuck so they go home and start boarding up right they've like pull paneling they have like a wood panel ladies style house they like pull those panels off and start nailing nailing them to the windows in very strange pattern like a very strange method I was like it's I don't think it's gonna do shit it's like there's big gaps but you know what it you do what you can you do what you can and while they're doing it Denise turns to Greg and it's like you smell like whiskey and he's like, oh, really? Huh?

Have you been drinking? I just had like a sip. This has been kind of like... Kind of a lot to take in. Kind of like, kind of a lot to take in, man. She's like, yeah. Yeah, it is. Why?

Like, you need to be honest with me. Like, I know you've been lying to me about your drinking. She's like, yeah, it is. And also like... I need... It's a lot for me too. I need to be fucking sober right now. Lock in like I am.

Yeah. Not unreasonable. No, not at all. And she's like, you know, I know you've been hiding all sorts of things. for me what's going on and he comes clean to her that he has three weeks ago was laid off from the Chrysler dealership he is unemployed which is why he's been doing the pizza deliveries more frequently now he's just trying to do whatever he can to get some cash and to chip in and he didn't want to stress her yeah he's like why didn't you tell me he was like I don't want to stress you out

I don't want to give you something to worry about and she says to him Emily do you want to take the line I fucking love this she says um listen to me I can handle anything you can handle probably more. Yeah, but he's like, yeah, I guess you're, I guess you're right about that probably. Yeah. It's like, you're not protecting me. Like, I can fucking handle my shit. And in fact, I can handle more than you can for a fact.

Yeah. And we buy it. And we buy it. She has been handling her shit much better than him this whole time. Yeah. Again, he's not bad. He's just like... He doesn't know what to do with himself. She's on it way more than he is. Yeah. So they kind of like circle up in the, in the living room. and have a little conversation about, you know, what is happening? What is this? And that's where we get the line from that teaser where Denise says,

I think our house and our whole neighborhood, everybody in it, has moved not to another place, but to another time. And they're like, how is that possible? These are all split diapter show. Yeah, really cool. Everybody is like a four-way split diapter conversation is really cool. How is that possible? I don't know.

And then Audrey Chipsen, you know, Sagan writes about wormholes. out in space and how they could connect one time to another time. And it's possible that, you know, all these, like the plant at Mrs. Huddlesons, the poop in Mel's, maybe there was little fractures that were happening. And like one thing at a time was being pulled over and then all of a sudden a big one happened. The big one hit and transported us all back. And, you know, that's not comforting news. That is information, but it's not comforting. Well, they're like, like, oh, it was the lights. It must have been, there was like the small lights and then the big lights, the storm. Like, that must have been when it happened. This is, yeah, this is pretty bad

because there's no undoing a wormhole situation. Like, in the, in the long term, you got to kind of immediately be like, well, we're all going to die kind of. Yes. That would be Denise's, that would be Denise's take. But Greg goes, you know what? Maybe one of them can take us back. And they're all like, oh, shut the fuck up, dude. And they're like, why do you think that? He's like, I don't know. I know it. I feel it.

He's just like a little optimistic dwee. And he's like, you know, if we can just survive long enough, we can wait for one of them to take us back. Wait for the lights to take us back. The same lights that brought us here. It will be all right. And yeah, they're like, how do you know? Because I know. And I don't think God would leave us to die here.

And Denise goes, Greg, you go to church on Christmas. And that's the only time you go. and now you're going to talk about God to our kids. And he's roasted. And Brian is like, I'm with dad. I believe that as well. Yeah, I believe you, dad. And they're kind of looking to mom.

And she's sort of like. She says, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm scared. And I don't think we're going back. She said, I don't know that that's going to happen. And I don't want to lie to you. Well, this is a tough parenting conundrum. This is a really tough parenting conundrum.

I really hope this never happens to me. Yeah, me too. Now, the question is, do you need both sides of it? Even though they're at odds with each other and they create conflict, do you need both to survive? Interesting. Both parents. Like someone being honest and someone. Something will get better and acknowledging the reality of your situation. I feel like they've done a lot of studies that show that like maintaining hope in a desperate

situation is very important. Like you have to maintain hope. That means, I mean, so I don't know. But also obviously you will die. So like what's the point of having hope? I mean, she just die. Should she just shoot all of them immediately, basically? If she's not going to have any hope, like, should she just kill everyone?

Well, Henley, you just called the end of the movie that she then spins around in a roulette-style wheel and shoots everybody in the room at the end of the movie. Killing of a sacred deer style. Well, no, because she isn't like, all hope is lost, but she said they have like a conversation on if I'm jumping ahead, Joel, but like that night. When they're laying in the bed, that's what happens next. But then you risk a missed situation where something. happens and you haven't had a chance to kill yourself yet. Yes.

Yeah. So she's like basically in bed that night. She's like we need, we can't just like sit here in this house and wait out whatever's going to happen. Like we need to make a plan. There are other survivors. We need to gather supplies. We're going to run out of food. She's not like we all hope is lost. She's like we need to like accept our situation so that we can survive it. Well, it's a little bit of both. She has like a really

fatalistic look at it because she's like, A, there's other survivors. They're going to be the ones, they're going to be out getting supplies and ammo and guns. And then we're not going to have any. Also, I don't think you should be giving our kids false hope. We're going to fucking die here. Yeah. She like does believe that. And he's like, because he's like, we can't go out, we can't go out looking for water and food right now. We'll get eaten. We need to hunker down and wait and believe that something will happen. Wait this out. Yeah, that's, that's crazy to not act as actually. But she's like, we're going to fucking die here. So like, what are you talking about? Like, we need to go commando mode because we're going to die. were fucked. And figure out maybe there's a place that humans could,

or maybe there's like a pocket that like humans could be safe from the dinosaurs. Yeah, you got to kind of do like a station 11 kind of thing. Yeah. Or like a 28 years later. But I do think, I think that what the movie is getting at is that what makes, because humans in all, in every way are outmatched out of time in this situation.

The only thing that can, that makes survival possible is what is unique to humans against dinosaurs. which is the ability to be hopeful, the ability to strategize. And work together as a group. And work together. And like, but you need to have stupid-ass optimism sometimes to like at least get the engine turned over and get started. But if that's all, you have, you're absolutely fucked. Correct. This is about the importance of the nuclear family. In a way, there's like a really conservative underpinning in that way. But it is also like kind of really touching. But as they're having this argument, they hear gunshots right next door and they run to the room

and Mel, their shitty neighbor, is on his roof with a fucking, like, Desert Eagle shooting at, oh, before this happens, there's, like, the whole house gets shaken really violently, and they're, like, jostled from their argument. They run downstairs, they're like, what the fuck is happening?

It's like a huge earthquake. They pull the shower curtain open in the shower, and, like, there's a window right there, and he holds, like, matchup to it to see what's going on outside. And it's just a giant dinosaur's, like, feathery body, pushing past squeezing between,

houses. So it's like this really surrealistic like furry feathery just swirl. Oh, that's cool. But after they see that, they hear these gunshots and they run up to see what's happening and their neighbor, stupid-ass neighbor Mel is shooting at a bronosaurus that just walked past with a fucking pistol.

He's like, this is my house. Get out of! Get out of here! He's being really stupid and then they're like, maybe he'll scare him away or maybe he's going to draw more dinosaurs in. Guess what happens? He lures in a bunch of of pterodactals and they kind of like fly around him

like pick at him peck at him the taradactals in this are like they don't have like big long they have big long beasts that are not like sharp to a point they have like pelican like kind of a ball at the end and then they have really sharp teeth so they're like flying around nipping at him biting him he's trying to shoot them

one of them comes in and like slashes his tummy with its claws and he just like spills blood and intestines out on the roof so much intestine talk in this episode So far. They get a grip on him and like lift him up. And then another one comes in like ripped. They just like lift him up and rip him from lip.

And they all watch it. The whole family watch it happen. So then you turn to your kids and you're like, so let's talk about that. How's everyone feeling? There's also been a lot of moments where as they were like boarding up the house, Brian is really sad about Starbucks. He's like where Starbucks, how are we getting like we need to go get him. And they're sort of like, buddy, we like hit the dad.

He's been like, he'll be okay. He's a really smart dog. Like he's going to be fine. He'll come back home. But. it's sort of like yeah we can't be thinking about him but that it's

weighing heavily on Brian's mind very heavily on Brian and so after they watch the neighbor get ripped to shreds on his roof they go back to the rooms it's like later at night and now Denise and Greg get into a much larger argument about Denise's

book because he's like because basically like she's again talking shit to him like you have to be realistic you're being such a an idiot. You're being so naive to think that we're going to get out of this. We need to figure out what we're going to do. And he is like, you know what?

I can never do anything right with you, can I? I've been working my ass off. I've been, you know, busting my shit trying to keep this family together and nothing I do is ever right for you. And all the while, like, you just want to leave us. And she's like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I read your book, Denise. And it's all about how you hate us. You want to leave us. You don't

love us anymore. You want out of this. And she's like, it's just a story. He's like, it's literally our life, Denise. And outside of the room in the hallway, Audrey is sitting and she can hear all of this and she's just like sobbing. Yeah, and Brian is listening to music on his headphones because he knows the drill here.

It's really sad. And, but Brian is then pulled from his reverie when he hears barking outside. He looks at his window and there's Starbucks in the yard, barking to be let in. Oh, no. And then, but then Starbuck turns and starts, barking at something else.

Yeah. And a big dinosaur, raptory kind of guy comes running after Starbucks, Starbuck bolts. And Brian is like, fuck, Starbuck, Starbuck, Starbuck. And he decides to take it upon himself to go out and get Starbuck,

rescue him. Rescue. I said rescue. Rescue him. Rescue the boy. So Brian gives his stupid fucking bow and arrow. Oh, Brian, that's not going to do anything. Climbs out the window,

like shimmies down the gutter pipe. Pretty brave of him to leave, though. we'll give him that. You gotta give him credit. It's what a 13 year old boy would do, which is like, not understand the actual stakes and be like, this is fine, I can do this, I should do this. It's like, well, you're gonna die. Yeah. Like, we're just absolutely gonna die. You are just so much soft tissue, my friend. And just to reinforce that point, this is one of the things I really like about how they do the movie is like, they really drive home how hard dinosaurs are. So like, as every jumps out the window, they do like a wide, kind of like long shot. of like an anchylosaurus, which is a tank-like dinosaur munching on somebody's garden very peacefully. And it's like, kind of

a quiet, like you hear crickets or whatever, and then all of a sudden a giant allosaurus just comes and goes, and just eats the fucking, eats this thing. And that's the end of that shot. And so shortly after he leaves, his sister, Audrey, realizes that he's left.

And she takes... She sees him, she sees him climbing out the window. Oh, right. And so she's like... But can't, like, get to him in time. So she takes it upon herself to go, get him. So now both while they've been arguing and again

a thing that I really like about this movie is like it uses these moments of human frailty and emotionality to show how much we can be both blinded and empowered by what makes us human. Because they're too busy fighting with each other and having hurt feelings about each other to pay attention

to what their kids are doing and it means that their kids get out and are alone. And anyway, I like that. So as Brian is like moving through the backyards, he walks past the aboveground pool, this big old above ground pool. And this is where we meet the star of the show. The Titanoboa. Yeah, I have a feeling that I'm going to have a new favorite dinosaur.

It's really good. He's like, so he walks past the above ground pool and then as he goes past just like this huge salamandery, like pale. penisy creature lifts his head it's got to be like its head is probably the size of like a it's okay so he looks like a salamander

with no legs this big snake body but salamander texture like a little wet and almost feels like he just sort of maybe translucent kind of vainy probably like 50 plus feet long

and just like thick girthy we don't say girthy the natural enemy of the angineine genus. I was gonna say.

And but like funny little tiny little like salamander eyes. Funny. He looks a little bit like a Pokemon. Yeah. Okay. Really funny, beady little eyes. And he just sort of like slow. He moves very slow. And he like lifts his head

from the above ground pool. Brian sees him and he's like, oh shit. Gittlikes. And he like runs away. But the guy, the like slithers out of the above ground pool very, very slowly and just sort of like, you know, follows in Brian's general direction, but quite slowly. And it just keeps, his body just keeps going and going.

He is kind of like the Michael Myers of this neighborhood. It's probably my favorite. That's probably right. So as he's going, he's like running away from this big old titano boa. He, uh, he gets, he's like running down the street. He gets tackled by the big bully boy. Come on, bully boy. Now is not the time.

who beats the shit out of him. He just punches right in the face a million times. And his little brother comes up behind him, and he does have a little cast on his arm, and he's trying to stop his brother. He's like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Who cares?

There are monsters in this world. And the big brother eventually was like, I don't know why I'm doing this. He like stopped. He's like, sorry. Oh, he's just so stressed. He's so stressed and so scared. And you get the impression, too, that they're like alone.

Well, the little brother, we got to find mom and dad. Like, let's just go and find mom and dad. Oh, that's actually like, sorry. Sorry, guys. It's really sad. That's so sad. And so he leaves, but it's just like, what are you doing, man?

Why did you do that? He just needed to do something. You needed to take his anger out on somebody. Yeah. And... No, he stops himself because he starts, like, choking him. Yeah, he starts to, like, almost killing. He starts, like, actually, like, killing Brian.

And then, but then he, he, like, he stops himself. He's like, fuck our wrong. And all the while, he's going, like, you broke my brother's arm. And I kept thinking about from Mad Max, my baby brother. He was perfected in every way. And then they just like run off and like we don't see them again. Like I kept waiting for us to see, we don't see them again.

I don't think it ends well for them. No, probably not. So shortly after that, Audrey finds Brian and he's kind of like laying asleep. He goes, was choked to death. So he's like kind of passed out. He's kind of passed out. She wakes him up. Tells him his face looks like pepperoni pizza and he goes, I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, good thing at Dino didn't get him to get the Titanic boat. I know. He's so slow. It's good she came after him. So they, she gets him up. they start trying to like head back home, but then they encounter the screams of a young girl. And so they go to be helpful.

It is the new girl who we met before. She's being chased by one of those velociraptors. She's like trying to hold it off with a tree branch and it's just toying with her basically. And they're like, we got to, we have to protect her. Like, oh my gosh, we have to save her. And so Brian's like, okay, I'll use my bow and arrow. And he takes it.

He struggles to get it strong. he like pulls the arrow back like one inch and it's like crooked in the arrow he like he has doesn't have the strength to like do anything with it and he goes like poop and it just falls straight into the ground yeah that's realistic that's a realistic representation and so Aubrey had like grabbed a switchblade before she left and she jumps the fence and just fucking stabs the raptor in the shoulder with the knife and it runs away and they the little the girl who they saved is like you know obviously panicked and she just she runs away they have to chase her. They're like, please stop. We're here to help you. We're here to help you. She

eventually does. She slows down. We learn her name is Jeanette and that her parents are dead. She's a new girl. She's the new girl. Her parents are dead. And they're like, will like they hug her and we're like, you'll be okay. They offer like, you know, softness to her that only humanity can offer to itself. Just like our flesh. Our flesh is soft and so are our feelings. Exactly. Feelings made flesh. Titanoboa. Feelings made flesh. that's a sequel Titanop versus angino sword

Fienes made flesh Gagina Gagina That joke is probably getting old to everybody listening to it But not to me I like it I like it So now by now

Greg and Denise have realized That their children are missing So they hop in the car To go look for them And they are like Driving around the neighborhood shouting They don't give a fuck

If a dinosaur sees them at this point They're just like desperate to find their kids. They realize how much they fucked up. And to their credit, in this point, they're on the same team. They're like, we're not mad. They're going to fucking have their kids. They know what they need to do. And they drive around.

And then they come upon blocking one of the streets a whole bunch of huge turtles with like very spiky shells. They're not scary. They're just being big old turtles chomping on grass, but they're like blocking the road. They're just like a little herd of slow moving, totally safe. Turtles. Yeah, eating grass in a yard. They're like blocking the road and they're just like, one of them just kind of looks at the car. That's a good turtle.

I look like a turtle. No, I do. No, I do. I do. My whole family, once in my family, all looks like turtles. It's true. It's true. The turtles are your ancestor. Wait, this is another thing that would be interesting is that all the vegetation would be gone immediately because like there's so many like plant eating dinosaurs and all they do all day is eat everything green. And so like all the grass would be gone, all the trees have be gone.

Like, yeah. And poop everywhere. And there is some poop. There's poop. There's a lot of poop in this movie actually. But they're like, they can't get around these turtles. Greg is like, tap the horn. And Denise is like, what are you talking about you idiot? No. Another detail about this movie is that Denise always drives. Greg is always in the passenger seat, which I think is like another subtle character embellishment of the dynamic. She's in charge. Even though he works at a car dealership, Make it make sense, Greg. But also to Greg's... I don't know if I'm getting across

how much I like him. He's never whining about it. He doesn't complain about it. He knows who's better in this situation. Yes, he's not. Like you said, like, he's not being like a little like, oh, like, I want to be the big man. He's not.

He's just like... But I know, like, Elon Musk is going to scoff at this movie as being like, you know, misandrist or something. Yeah. Anyway, I just hate Elon Musk. I can't stop thinking about how it is. It incorporates into every thought that I have. I know so many people do.

I went through that phase, yeah, where I thought about them a lot. Too much. Yeah. Yeah. So they're like, okay, we got to like drive around them, like drive up on the neighbor's lawn. They're like hesitant to like drive over their neighbor's lawn, which is funny because it's like suburbia. But they do it. But just as they do that, uh-oh, thud, thud, thud, a giant spinosaurus comes around the hedge.

This is like the size of a Tyrannosaurus rex, big long, nasty snout. And it sees them and it's like, I'm hungry. and starts to attack the car. They can't, like, the lawn is too wet for them to, like, go into reverse, the tires spin out, and it just, like, smashes into the car, smashes the car through the front of the house that they're in front of,

and the car immediately sparks the curtains of that house on fire. So they're inside of a car that is being attacked by the Spinosaurus that is, like, biting the door off while the house catches fire and starts to burn around them. Is it Mel's house? No, it's just some... We don't know. It would have been cool for his milk house.

That would be cool. That would have been a nice touch. That would have been a nice touch. Yeah, nice, nice, nice, nice. Nice job, Sammy. But so, like, the Spine and Source is, like, it does a really cool shot where it, like, chomps out in the car and, like, all of its top teeth come through the roof of the car and, like, almost stabber in the head.

And then it's tongue, it, like, licks all over Anne Hathaway. And the doors are jammed, so they're, like, stuck in the car. Eventually, they, like, both managed to, like, scramble out of the passenger side window and run through the house. And as they run through the house, a cat walks out of its cat tree and goes like, meow, and then runs away. They get out through the backyard. The spinosaurus is like a really cool shot of the spinosaurus. It's just like lumbering around the front end of the house, like lit by the fire. A really scary shot. It's a scary looking dinosaur.

This is very much a horror movie sequence. Yeah. Like this is scary. Yeah. I will say that I have read the, Who Will Win Books with Silas so many times and they have a dinosaur one, the dinosaur rumble and I'm pretty sure out of all the dinoes, the Spinosaurus wins. I think the Spinosaurus is the top dinosaur when it comes to who would defeat all the other dinosaurs.

It's a really scary one. They introduce it in Jurassic Park 3 and I think it kills the T-Rex in Jurassic Park 3. Yeah, it kills a T-Rex. It kills a T-Rex in the books that I read with my son. Anyway, they run away from the Spinosaurus it chases them into a shed. They hide and they watch it

loses track of them. It sniffs around. and then it takes a big drink from an above-ground pool, which is just kind of cute and funny. They then, after the Spinosaurus clears out, they start looking around on foot. They come to a house where there's like two cars that have gotten into a T-bone collision outside of it,

and both of the drivers in those cars are dead and have been dead for a while. And as they're looking in the house, they see something like flickering, like a light flickering inside the house. They're like, I think maybe that's one of the lights that Brian was talking about that like the wormhole lights

but before they can take a look there's like a stampede of Gallimimus is basically like the Jurassic Park style stampede and they jump inside this car with a dead person in it and are like taking cover and holding each other and then they really like emotionally reconnect

as they're like terrified and he's protecting her and dinosaurs are running all over the car and they like hold hands and then turn him like hold each other's faces and look each other at the eye and like remember what this is all about and like their petty squabbles are maybe less important than the way that they love each other and what they're up

against. And so they really reconnect. And then they go back, they go inside this house after the stampede clears away and they find this big orb. Like the light is this like big giant orb. Like a big bubble. That is like, jelly big bubble or. Yeah. And it's like kind of like, and you can see through it to kind of like a mirrory pensive kind of thing of modern day and they're like okay well maybe if we jump through this Greg's theory maybe if we go through this

it'll take us back home and it's worth a shot and he's like Denise you should go I'll go find the kids like I want you to be safe and she says there's no fucking way I'm doing this by myself we're doing it together or we're not doing it at all. So she's not abandoning the family. No.

She will never abandon them. She won't do that. And so while they're having that discussion, the orb goes away. It disappears. So they're temporary. But where it was, you can see like cutaways of the walls

in like perfect little circle cutaways because it just carried away whatever is inside of it gets carried away into whatever other time it leads to. So now we cut to the kids. they are patching, they're in another house, just like a random house, they're patching up Jeanette.

She has a big gash on her leg. Oh, go ahead. I also want to just take a note to, I just want to point out that the aesthetics in this movie are so fabulous. They're like in this house that like it's on the edge of wherever they got like transported. So the whole wall is like sliced open. And it's like there's lush greenery coming in from the outside. There's like gorgeous late 70s like maximalist wallpaper.

It's just like this movie just looked so beautiful. every space they entered I absolutely fucking loved and I just wanted to point it out the production design is so good Yeah lots of cool like non sequiters because of like the jungle meeting suburban 80s

It's really cool So they're patching Jeanette up She has a big gash on her leg Audrey is doing It's like wrapping gauze around Jeanette's leg Brian is like trying to shoot a shot with Jeanette So he's like what's what's private school like She's like I don't know

I never went to public school So I don't really know what's the difference Meanwhile while Audrey and her are like having this like little connection. Yeah, Audrey's like wrapping her leg and you can tell there's there's a spark. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's like a little spark. There's like a little like gay awakening that happens here.

While Brian is like trying so hard. At one point. Oh, Brian. Jeanette asks them if they believe in God and Brian's like, of course I do. And Audrey goes, no. And Jeanette goes, sometimes I don't either. And then they're like looking at each other and like kind of smile. And it's like, and Brian is like.

Brian's like, what? Wait, me neither. like, are these atheist lesbians? It's a huge laugh line in the theater where this gay awakening moment really is funny. It really works. And after that,

Jeanette looks at the window and sees their parents coming. Greg and Denise, they found them. They like run outside. They have a reunion. They're all so happy. They introduce Jeanette. They're like, we'll take care of you, Jeanette. Don't worry. We'll protect you. You're fine. Then they hear a loud roar

and a ground shaking thumps. and they're like, fuck, something big is out there and that's the way we have to go to get home. Oh my God. Kids run inside. Denise, like, locks and loads her rifle. She and Greg are like, we're going to go see what it is. Greg has like a big mallet. He has a sledgehammer.

He took a sledgehammer. He took a sledgehammer from the house. We got a rifle and a sledgehammer. And so they're like, fuck, okay, we got to go like face down whatever this is to see if we can get past it. They walk up. The sounds are getting louder.

The thuds are getting louder and faster. The intensity is building. They round a corner. and see against like collapsing the roof of a two-story house, two brannosaurus is doing it doggy style. Incredible. Oh, my God. Like going at it. And Denise starts to laugh really hard.

And Greg is like, what's so funny? We're in like, do you have any idea how much danger we're in right now? But he kind of like has to start laughing. And then Denise is like, I need to take your picture. Incredible. Incredible. I need this, like, a memento of this crazy moment. in the middle of all this crazy shit.

So he like reluctantly agrees. She takes out her polaroid and he does like a pose where he like throws the sledgehammer over his shoulder and goes like, a big cheesy smile. Fucking right behind him. While they and all dinosaurs are doing it right behind him. It's just so funny. You got to find the joys, the little joys. And it made the whole theater just like erupted and laughter.

It is so good. And you know, we're starting to feel good. You know, like we're, they're connected again. They're like having fun. They're able to laugh. is reason to have hope. There is reason to have hope. You might find some dinosaurs fucking.

And so they go back to the kids, get the kids, and like make their way back to the house for safety. And as they do this, like, this happens periodically throughout the movie, but like, they'll just kind of like do these like panning shots around the neighborhood where it's just like a person getting eaten by a dinosaur, dead bodies sprawled by bicycles, you know, like people getting chased, like just constant. Like, culture like dinosaurs. eating carcasses. Like, it's... It's really grisly.

Did we already have the basement... Flood? Oh, that was way earlier. Sorry, this was when we were boring the house up. So earlier that we discovered that basement had flooded, and Anne Hathaway's character, Denise is, like, really

upset. Like, slams on the wall and starts crying, and Audrey's like, what's okay? Is mom that I think she's like, yeah, I just had something really important down there. So this is like, she's like, lost her manuscript. I don't know. It just felt like an important moment and the way it's handled as like that's on top of everything.

Like what she's really fucking heartbroken over is that she lost her manuscript. Because I think her manuscript like represents her independence from motherhood. I think like that's what this is all about is like she's getting all this hate because she wants to be defined as something other than just a mother. Which thematically I find really compelling for this movie because it's seen as like a reptilian trait to like not only be able to. mother if you're a mother versus like the mammalian sign she gets shit on for it and nobody can possibly believe that she could split her sense of self into two different parts that are both equally valued and cherished by her nobody can see that and it causes this like terrible stress for her and i i find that just very compelling and that the movie is about her proving that you can do both

like both parts of your brain can like function i really like that um So they're walking down, we see more death and destruction. And as they're walking, they see, like, smoke is, like, billowing up in the distance. And they realize that the fire that they started in that house has caught around the neighborhood and is burning a large swath of the jungle and that eventually this fire is going to, like, overtake everything. It's huge. And that they're going to be out of shelter.

There's going to be nowhere to run. Oh, fuck. Meanwhile, while they're having this conversation, the biggest dinosaur we've seen yet, an allosaurus, is sneaking around behind them, just sneaking up. They're not looking behind them. They're not paying attention. And this is, again, a really cool counterpoint to, like, the Jurassic Park T-Rex entrance,

which is all about, like, the... Feeling it before you see it. And, like, every sign indicating its arrival, this one, they just, like, don't even know it's there until it, like, is on top of them. It, like, sneaks up behind them and is about to bite down on Brian when he, like, finally sees it, screams,

and they all scatter, and it roars and starts chasing them. First it goes after Brian, it chases him into, like, a shed with a car in it. And he, like, again, takes out a stupid fucking bow and arrow and tries to shoot it. And it just goes like, poop. It does nothing. Which, again, like, in an amblin movie, eventually that bone arrow would work. Right. It does not ever work for this dumb-ass kid here.

It's just this bad idea always. He escapes. He gets out of the shed. They run away. And it's chasing them. But before it can get to them. it's like they're like running down the through the front yards of this neighborhood and like the trees playing in the front yard are kind of slowing it down so it can't quite catch the kids but it's

just about to when Greg suddenly runs in and like waves his hands and distracts and says come come get me like leave them alone it turns his attention to him it pit this is all in like a oneer it's really cool it's really turns attention to him starts like chasing him and then all of a sudden bang Denise shoots it with her rifle in the leg and so it now pivots to her and starts chasing her and it has a be line it like has a line on her and she's like running it's catching up she in an act of desperation like jumps

onto like the veranda of a house that has some like columns on it that she thinks maybe it'll slow it down and just like crashes into those and it's like just trying to get out of like you know its teeth are inches away from her feet she shoots it a couple times the rifle runs out of ammo she's like kicking it but it's getting

closer and closer it's about to like burst through the columns cracking like inch by inch through these columns getting closer and closer while she's like screaming. Her kids are right there in front. Everyone's trying to distract it, but it's got meat right in front of it, so it's only got eyes for her.

Greg finally catches up to it and runs up and thwax it in the knee with his sledgehammer. And it like hurts really bad, the dinosaur. So he like yanks out and like turns and sets a size on Greg. And Greg's like,

oh fuck, I'm like a little beta weak man. What am I going to do? But I have to like do this. I'm like here to protect my family. And the outsource like lunges at him. and he swings the sledgehammer and catches it right on the fucking temple

and it goes like and falls over, knocked out. Theater erupts in applause. Everybody's cheering. Fuck yeah, dude, Greg, you did it, dude. Hell yeah. You conquered this fucking beast. He does his little victory lap. He runs up to Denise, is like, Denise, are you okay? Are you okay? I love you.

Meanwhile, behind him, the allosaurus wakes up, turns around, bites him in the fucking leg, whips him away from the veranda, flips him around like a dog with a toy slams him into the ground when the alsaurus removes his head Greg's leg is gone

It has just ripped his fucking leg off And Greg is like He's screaming And then the alasaurus Looks at him and goes Humph and just fucking eats him Oh my god Oh man

Eats him in front of his whole family And like eat like stays there and eats him Oh man that's tough His kids are just watching it. I'm telling you, this, I was like shocked. This movie really, I like cried in several months. This moment. And even in the retelling, I was like sick to my stomach.

Like it's, it's brutal. It's so upsetting. It is a lot of the dinosaur kills. And especially when they like grab somebody's head, it's like played very like, it's gnarly, but it's like silly. Like it's like, like, holy shit. Oh my God. Like when it, when this, obviously the leg thing, I super fucking hate.

Yeah. But the like one-two punch of it, it is so, like, evil. Like, it, like, I was so upset. And it's shot in a way that is so convincing that... It is so awful. He gets it so bad and, like, the... And he didn't deserve it. Like, really...

That's, like, the genius of this movie, I guess, is that we've been conditioned that when we're watching certain movies to expect certain outcomes. Right. And, like, when you're, quote unquote, Man up. Exactly. He like steps up in a man and like to the To the extent that he like baseball hits him like with a sledgehammer

Which is like very macho. I'm going to take down a dinosaur. The whole audience both times I saw this movie cheered. Like fuck yeah you did it. And then 10 seconds later he's eaten. You know what it's actually it's attacking this movie is attacking our notion of like men's power in nature. Like we have this like myth about men being like the hunter,

the strong people and it's kind of like, no, nature's fucking strong as fucking hell. Like, it's like nothing can, we're, there's no competing against that. Like, that's kind of like a stupid myth to have as human beings. Yeah.

And they all stand completely frozen. Silent. Watching this. Anne, like, Denise can't, she doesn't even like, at first doesn't even fucking move. She's just like watching this. She eventually runs over to the kids and like, tries to turn their heads. It's like, don't watch, don't watch, don't watch.

But it's like, they really play this out like what it would be like and it is awful to watch. It's fucking, I was so mad. Like jaw on the floor, it was so fun to see it the second time knowing that this was going to happen because I could like feel the crowds just like overjoyed release at Greg's triumph. And then just just getting like absolutely demolished. It's really sad. It's really sad. Really sad. So now they're walking home. They're all just like, you know, shell-shocked or whatever. And the fire is getting worse. Denise looks like fucking rocked. She is like not home. Yeah. She's gone. You know, more carnage everywhere you look. A cat, neighborhood cat is being eaten by some dinosaurs now and like bodies are just strewn everywhere. Aside from my biggest note. And I think this maybe does happen a little bit earlier or maybe it's now. I don't know.

because it wouldn't play. If it's after this, we obviously don't need a joke. We're in a tough time. But I'm like, we've seen this orange cat earlier. And I don't want to see a cat get eaten. But B,

I think we should have seen this orange cat eating like a little tiny baby bird dinosaur. Because we've seen a lot of little tiny baby bird dinosaurs. And I'm like, that's funny. And that's a good bit. And also we need a win. We need a win right now.

Yeah. And like, you're going to kill this fucking cat. Don't kick us while we're down. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, that's probably the point. My one biggest note. Is trying to kick us while we're down.

We are kicked and we are down. We are down. And it's a nightmare scenario, right? Like it's apocalyptic around them. Everywhere they look and they're, they just watch their dad fucking get eaten by like a giant, Starbuck better be okay. Like awful beast.

And they're like walking home. Starbuck is still gone. Starbuck is still gone. Better come back. And Ann Hathaway is like fucking not, we've seen. She's never checked out this whole time. She's been so locked in.

She's checked out and they're walking home and Brian's like, what are we gonna do? Like what's this fire gonna do? Is he gonna, he's like asking a bunch of questions because he's really, really fucking freaked out

and she turns on it and it's like, shut up. Like, stop asking fucking questions. Did you see what that thing just did to your father? And he just goes,

yeah. Oh, geez. And she like realizes and like hugs and just like, I'm so sorry. It's just like, it's so sad. Yeah, we're all over our heads here,

Brian. And it's like, he's like, yeah, That's the, I did just see what it did to my father. Oh, I know that this is a completely different situation, but I keep reflecting on my time traveling with my children while hearing about this situation. Because like, I have to be better at this as a parent.

It's something, I guess you have some people are natural at it or not, but I feel like I have to be more self-aware about like controlling my reactions to things in front of my kids. Like it's not something. It'd be really fucking hard because you're a human. Right. And so there would be moments where we would get to. to a spot that we thought there would be like a really long line and we were like stressed for time and I would be like I would be like oh there's another there's a line and Salas would be like there's a line

like what does the line mean and it's like oh shit like I can't like say that out loud and how he's freaked out like I have to like not say that out loud it's just little stuff like that where you're like oh right I'm like they can pick up on your yeah and it's going to affect them what I do I have to act like I'm totally fine with everything stresses you out more because it's like well now he's stressed Yeah. Well, exactly. It makes the whole situation worse if your kid is freaking out. And so tough. Anyway, yeah. So then imagine if you all watched a dinosaur eat Tim. If we watch a dinosaur Tim, that'd be pretty tough. It would be really hard to control my reaction. I would have a really

tough time. I think it'd be allowed one little blowup. Yeah. She gets the one and then they all was sort of like, oh my God, yeah, I'm so sorry. Here, let me hug you. And yeah, this fucking sucks. We're all really upset. Yeah. So we, we march back home, climb back. up into the house and everybody is just in, you know, they're a dark night of the soul. And the humor of this moment is, you know, everybody's feeling really emo. Everybody's like listening to their walkmans and staring off into space and being sad. And while this is happening, Titanoboa appears, peaks in through Brian's window while Brian

is like too sad to pay any attention to it and slithers inside the house. He slithers past the bathroom where Jeanette is listening to her walkman being sad. He slithers past... I'm not putting on headphones at a time like this. No, this is interesting. You can guarantee I would not be putting on headphones. He slithers past Audrey's room where she's like packing her bags and crying. And then he slithers down the stairs where Denise is like packing, you know, spam and, you know, canned beans and stuff.

Because they need to like figure out how to get away from this fire at the very least. and it's just like lurking slowly, slow. And I really like to think that it has been chasing Brian at one mile per hour ever since he walked past that above ground pool. Slow and steady. And as its head is near Denise, its body is still coming in through Brian's window. This thing is so big.

It's huge. And nobody notices it until Brian turns around and sees, you know, part of its body in the hallway. Just like sliding down bit by bit. He picks up his stupid fucking bow and arrow again. And like takes aim. Meanwhile, down in the kitchen where its head is, Denise is in the refrigerator,

and it is really coming around a corner looking behind her with his little dead, little beady eyes. It looks stupid and cute and like a little Pokemon. Like funny. You're like not scary at all. And then it opens his mouth. It like rears its head up. And it is just the most violent-looking mouth. Big scary snake mouth.

Like the biggest, scariest snake mouth you ever saw. 10 million fangs and then just throat. It's really scary. And it like winds up, it like, you know, unhinges his jaw, winds up to get her. And right at that moment,

Brian shoots it point blank with his arrow. So it like pinpricks it. But it pisses the, it pisses the, off enough that it like doubles back and like slithers back over itself to go see. And it like makes a noise up because it just got hurt. And so Denise fucking sees it.

It goes like and then like doubled back over its own body and like slithers back. Ew, it's so gross. It's so nasty. And so now Denise's like fuck he's like everybody like look out. There's a giant guy here. And now it's moving fast. Now that it's pissed. It's like going quick.

And it somehow is like I know it was you, Brian. And like goes for Brian's room. and Brian slams his door and then it's like pounding the door with its head to try to get in it's like the door is splintering meanwhile Denise is down in the kitchen like what do I do?

And she grabs a big old kitchen knife and just runs up and just goes like screaming at the top of it and it's like just like chchchchchchchchchchchch just like any part of its body she can get and it's like trying to like drag it

just like I was going to say I would be dragging and but it's not really doing anything it's still slam it because it's fucking piss but she's just like and she stabs until like her arm gives out

Like, she's screaming at the top of her lung stabbing until her arm can't stab anymore. Fortunately, that's just enough, and it eventually slithers away. And so we're all okay. And they climb up on the roof. They're like, the fire is getting even closer. They can see animals, like, dinosaurs, like, running from it. It's getting really close. They have to find a way to get out of here.

And Denise notices the glimmering of one of those little orb lights at the librarian's house on the top of the hill. They're like, we got to get there. so they set course for that as they're like making their way you get all these like cool shots of like the allosaurus chasing a bunch of people in the background but it's like limping a little bit because it's because Greg got its leg

and just you know it's just constantly that kind of stuff happening in the background. Yeah. At this point I truly was at I was like these dinosaurs need to fucking stop like I had hit a point of like it's so relentless with these dinosaurs

you really are like there's no way out of this they're going to fucking get it. And I was like I need a break. I need a break from the dinosaurs, but you don't get one. You don't get one? I guess we don't know

whether dinosaurs slept or not. Do we? Did they sleep? They must have to sleep, right? Yeah, I mean, it's been a few days. So, like, there's been periods of... But don't, like, sharks not sleep? Like, aren't there some animals that don't sleep?

Yeah, maybe not. Maybe they sleep while they move. They just have to keep moving, yeah. They just, like, autopilot. Imagine. Oh, I think some of them can sleep. And stay still. I don't know.

Okay. It's an interesting question. Is it interesting question? dinosaurs, you know, like, there's night shift dinosaurs. There's like some are taking an hour on and hour off. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably don't need like a full eight, you know.

They're taking catnaps and whatever. So we get to the house at the top of the hill. It's like a pretty uneventful trip to the house, which was pretty far away. Yeah, but, you know, we gotta get a movie happen. Oh, and I should say, before they leave the house, Denise is like, everybody grab a weapon before we go. And Samuel will be pleased to know. Denise is wielding a fire poker. Nice.

That's her weapon of choice. Yeah, I was very excited for that choice. They get to librarian's house, which is the biggest most beautiful house in town. Or just huge mansion. And, you know, like the door is broken down. The windows are broken, but they're like, we got to just try. Because the orb is like in the, just like by the roof of the house. They have to get all the way to the top of the house.

They climb in. While they're walking around in there, they're like creaking along in the house. And in one of the rooms that they can't see. is the librarian with a double-barrel shotgun watching the door and you're like, oh, is she going to think their dinosaurs and shoot them? But they sneak past, they walk past a room with an open door

that's like the librarian's husband's office where he is being eaten by something we don't see. We only see his like legs shooting out being like, and we like, you know, something's definitely eaten them. It's really upsetting. But we sneak past that and we go up to the roof.

We make it and we can see the orb just off the edge of the road. roof. The tough news is, and there's like a teradactal kind of like paying attention to them, shall we say. The bad news is that the orb is not inside the house. It is over the edge of the roof. So you have to jump off of the house and time it right so that you are in the orb before it disappears. I also really hope the orb isn't like bad. I was going to say we have no like proof that the orb holds you in its gravity. No. Right. Or even takes you somewhere you want to go. It also seems like they're trying to, like, the orb

keeps like coming and going and coming and going. And it's trying to chime it that you like, it seems like they can't get into it right when it starts. They do kind of want to time it for when it's about to disappear, which didn't really make sense to me. I don't know why you would just jump into it right away. But that's part of it. I think they are worried about it, the gravity holding you.

But she does pull a shingle. She pulls a shingle off the house and throws it in. Okay, okay. And the shingle gets taken away. It like doesn't crash to the ground. When the orb disappears, it, yeah, it goes. I see. And so they're like, well, who's going to go first?

we got to figure out who's going to go first. Brian is like, I'll do it. And then, but for whatever reason, they're like struggling to decide. Meanwhile, the pterodactals are getting closer. I mean, I think that's valid. Henley, what would you do as a mother?

Because it's like, you don't, you don't want to send them into the orb. There's no guarantee what's happening with this orb. Right, but you also don't want to leave them there alone. But you don't want to leave them alone there. That's tough. Would you send your child into the orb? I think that I would send them into the orb.

I think you have to send them in first. My instinct was you send them in first. But she was like, I'll go first or Audrey will go first. think she's worried about the orb, but I'm like, but you can't leave them here. And then you have to draw sticks amongst the children about who goes first. We don't have time. I think I would fucking throw them in. The orb's not that big, so I think they're like worried they can't all go at the same time.

Like I was like just all go together, but it's like that might not, you might not make it into the orb. So they just don't, they're cautious about the orb. And also we're stressed. And there's, and we don't really have got time. There's, there's a fucking taradactual. We'd all be a little bit cautious. We all have been here before. You're like, everything is solved if I get to the orb.

Once you get to the orb, you're like, wait a minute. Is this actually what I needed it to be? This is really what I wanted? I don't know if this is actually... We all have our own big shining, periodically appearing and dissipating orbs in our lives. But eventually, Jeanette's like, fuck it, I'm going to go. And so she jumps and gets taken away and it's fine.

She just whispers to Audrey. She says, I'll see you on the other side and jumps. And they're like, ah! But the orb goes away and she's gone. And they're like, holy shit, it worked. So she's gone, it works. The orb comes back and Brian's like, okay, well, I'm the man, so I'm going to go next.

I got it. It's all good. I got it. Times it out. He, like, is very careful about counting the time out, even though as a viewer, you're like, what does the time matter? I don't know what it means. Just fucking go. He eventually, like, times out and, like, makes his move, jumps, and mistimes it. The orb goes away, and he falls

crashing to the ground and starts screaming, my leg! He, like, breaks his leg, and is three floors below them just, like, hurt, and the tarotaxis like, hmm, yeah, me, this sounds great to me. and so they all have to run downstairs again.

Well, we know, we see the pterodontal, like, go for him. Yeah, and it, like, picks him up by his leg and is, like, you know, going to get him. And they have to run all the way down the many flights of stairs in this beautiful house. And Brian is getting lifted into the air by this pterodactyl. He's, like, trying to fend it off, you can't. And all of a sudden, arf, arf, starbuck comes running into this scene. He sprints forth from the woods, leaps, grabs the um teradactyl's like leg in his in his jaws and like r rhaer and the

taradactyl drops brian and flies up and like tries to get itself free of of starbuck and eventually like kick starbuck off him and starbuck falls lands with a uh uh an unpleasant yelp but gets up he's okay okay wow but i am fucking nervous yeah at this point denise is there she's like just like going absolutely feral on this fucking taradacte with her fire poker just like get away from him swinging it around she's like just at this point

she's so broken she's as murder as any dinosaur you've ever fucking encountered in this world they get everybody together including Starbuck they run back into the house run up the stairs

it's a really cool really cute shot of Starbuck just like as close to their legs as he possibly can be while they go up the stairs he's such a good boy they get to the top but uh oh

the dinosaurs that were eating the people in this house have now gotten savvy to their presence and these are like big, beefy alligator dinosaurs. Yeah, there's two of them. Or maybe there's just one. It starts with one.

And Denise is so... And it'll only be one. Denise is so fucking keyed up that she, without even like, hesitating, just stabs the fire poker through its entire body. Just like full force. Skewers it. It runs away.

Taking the fire poker. It does take the fire poker. It does have the hook so hard to party back out. Two more of these gator guys come out and have them cornered. They now look behind them down the stairs. Two more of these gators are coming up the stairs.

They're cornered. They're fucked. And the other gator that she stabbed is not even dead, but it's blocking the only other exit, which is a bathroom window. There's nowhere for them to go. Denise is like literally tells the kids like, hey, when they come from me,

you guys run. Like basically just like let them rip me to pieces and you run while they're busy with me. And she's like, like, just stealing herself. And they're like, no, no, no. But she's like, you have to like fucking go. Like she's, she means it. She absolutely fucking means it.

I'm going to let these dinosaurs eat me so you can get to the orb. And we're like, I think that this movie is going to fucking do it. Right, right, right. We just saw what happened to Greg. Like, I believe it. Fortunately, at the last moment, just as one of the gator creatures is lunging for her, the librarian kicks the fucking door open with her double barrel and blasts the dinosaur. where they was lunging,

but doesn't get the second shot off in time, the remaining gator fucking turns and just houses her. Just rips her, like a hurricane of blood erupts out of that room. And they run to the roof. They get up there. The tarotachshals are still there, like, lurking.

And Denise is like, we're all just going to jump together. Fuck timing it. Fuck single stuff. We're just jumping in all together as one family, including Starbuck. They leap off the roof, Starbuck with them,

zhub into the orb. And we cut to a suburban pool nighttime. Pouring rain. Pouring rain. And they fall from out of frame into the pool. Bloop, bloop, bloop. A woman comes outside who's like, what the hell are you doing in my pool?

You know, you guys are crazy? And they're like, are there dinosaurs here? And she's like, what are you talking about? They're like, where are we? What year is it? She's like, you fucking crazy. It's 1982. She goes, it's 1982, obviously.

It's like, what was obvious about? And then they're like, are there any dinosaurs? And she's like, okay, you have to get out of my house. You're crazy. Yeah. You know, a little comedic beat. And Jeanette comes running to them and it's like, you guys got to see this. They run up to the front yard and they are looking out off like the hillside that they were previously in.

But it is, they're looking out over their normal neighborhood as if nothing had happened. Just regular flower veil. Everything totally normal. They're like, what the fuck? How is that possible? It's like nothing ever happened. Audrey runs to a mailbox, pulls out a piece of mail,

and sees that it is the date of the event, and they look at a clock, and it is 10.45. So it is 20 minutes. They arrived 20 minutes before the wormhole took them away originally. Uh-oh, go get Greg. So they're like, yeah, we got to go get Greg.

They're like, there's not enough time. Jeanette's like, I got to go get my family. They're like, there's not enough time, but Jeanette runs away and like escapes from them. Also, would there be doubles of them? Do they have double getting or something? That's so confusing. Oh, my God, triples?

Triples. Well, that would be best. So, but they're like, there's no time. We don't have time to, like, warn everybody. Nobody will believe us even if we do. But Denise's like, I have an idea. And so she runs to a phone booth and starts making the call. And then we cut ahead in time a little bit.

It is 11.03 p.m. The kids are like, what are we doing? Like, what happened? And she's like, just trust me, which is very funny. For your mom to be like, there's dramatic irony here that I need you guys to feel. The reveal will be good. Well, I know, I was like, I mean, yes, that. But I'm also like, if I were her, I would.

I wouldn't say it because if your plane doesn't work. Yeah, that's a good point. Like, I was like, I wouldn't say. We see her when she goes, before she gets on the phone, she looks at what the address of the house they're in front of. Yeah. She makes a call then they're sitting and waiting. So as they're waiting, put, put, put, put, put, put up drives a certain rinky dink pizza delivery

car driven by Greg. She knew that, she remembered that Greg had been working late, delivering pizzas, so she gave him the address that they were out to make a pizza delivery. he shows up, they run to him, hug him, or like, we love you, we love him. He's like, what are you guys talking about? What the heck is going on? But he's being really, but he's like, what are you guys doing? This is unexpected. He just wants to be appreciative. Yeah, and he's like, we love you so much. She's like, really? She's like, I don't, and he's like, I don't want to be anywhere but here with you. And he's like, you really mean that? It's very sweet. I cried. And then they, as they're like hugging and stuff, the, the big light flashes and lightnings, they look out and it's just a huge,

orb is over the totality of the neighborhood. They're not in it anymore. They're up on the hill above. Oh, okay. And it snaps it away and it's replaced by prehistoric jungle. It's just like a space swap. So Greg, they all know what's happening. And Greg is like, what?

And he like looks down and there's like, you know, giant dinosaurs are like, brocosaurs and stuff are like walking out now from the jungle out into the suburban streets. It's just like an inversion. Right. And Greg is looking out and he, goes, is that a fucking dinosaur? And they're all like, uh-huh, yes, it is.

Cut two. Two years later, we're like, we're on a nice, at a nicer house. There's a TV, there's a commercial on TV for like Maxwell House coffee. And a news story comes on and it goes, it's now two years to the day since the infamous event at Flower Vale that brought a bunch of dinosaurs into our community. And there's like a montage of shots of like police and fire. National guard. Detaining the dinosaurs.

Shoot, like machine gunning an allosaurus in front of a strip mall. It's pretty great. And the famed, now famous heroics of, you know, Denise Platt. That's right. Denise Platt, who saved many members of her community

and basically went to the... Basically, we started to get testimonials of the people who she... Who we saw a die before, who she had called from the phone booth. and was like, get out of your house, drive fucking as fast as you can, as far away as you possibly can. Some of them believed her, Mrs. Huddleston, the librarian, talking about how grateful they are to be alive. And then we get Mel, who says, you know, I've had my differences with them, but I sure am grateful to Denise for saving my life.

And we pan away from that and we see a barbecue. And it's the Platt family. We see, like, some photos on the wall, too. We see like a new happy family portrait of all of them. A picture of Brian with like a girlfriend. We see Audrey wearing a Cornell sweatshirt and the pictures like the Cornell Astronomer Society. Oh yeah. She's talking to her, talking to Denise, who is now in her office typing at her computer no longer in a basement, no longer hiding.

Her typewriter, not a computer. Still in 1984. And she is working on a book called The End of Oak Street, the True Story of what happened to us. and it's a bestseller. Yeah, this house is... Fat-ass house. An upgrade. This upgraded experience.

And she, like, follows Audrey outside where they're having a barbecue. The final framed photo on the wall is Greg in front of the dinosaur stuff. Doggy-Sell dinos. That's, like, framed on the wall. And we pan around as she walks outside

and they're having a barbecue. Greg is there. The kids are there. And Jeanette and her family are there. But there's a second Jeanette. Oh. Oh my God. We see Jeanette is there with Audrey.

And then Jeanette and her parents arrive and they're like, hey, welcome. Oh, my God. And that's the end of the movie. And that's the end of the movie. Wow. So there was like heavy existential implications here of what Denise did to her own past self and children. And yeah. So basically she saved Greg.

One version. And her current version of her and her children. But there is a version of her and her two children that did get. sent through the wormhole and died there. Whereas because Jeanette ran back to get her parents, she presumably also got herself out and all of them left. So now there are two Jeanettes and her parents. But there is a dead dino world version of Denise, Audrey, and Brian. And Greg.

And Greg. And Greg. But this Greg is also like clearly somehow at peace with it somehow because he's like happily with this family. I feel like if it was me, I would be like, you sentenced my wife and kids to die by like taking me away from it. But I don't think that's Greg's vibe.

But also what's interesting is it's like, it's not like annihilation where it's like it's literally a different version of them. Like it is still his, it's his wife and kids. They just went through a thing that he didn't go through. Like 48 hours of difference. They went through time

and then back in time. So, like, it is still his same. Up until that moment, that is... But she also made the choice to let... Yes, she did. She did. His family die. Yeah, she did. So it's really interesting.

But she made the choice to not let him die. Yeah, so... Well, this is some advanced thinking in a really, like, dire life or death situation. Yeah. To have to make that choice. So she didn't have a lot of time to really think it through. Well, and the thing is, too, like, she...

what she realized later is like it's not like she called home and was like everybody get out of the house she called the pizza place and ordered a pizza that he delivered like he wasn't home for her to call like the only way to get him out was to order that's true she didn't have a choice that's true she could have also called her own house and told herself yeah she called mel yeah she called you're right she did have time to call a lot of people but it is it is like really freaky to think about because then it's like okay but what if you did get yourselves out then what did what do two of you do in the world. I'm like, there is like a really freaky thing about like Jeanette and Jeanette. Now she wants Greg all to herself. Now she has Greg all to herself. But she always wanted. It's, yeah,

that part, that part of it is like quite dark. But I like that. And Starbucks made it. Starbucks didn't die. I mean, A, Starbucks died, I guess, presumably. But I also think one of the things that I find really interesting about it too when we're thinking about the split family stuff is like the family that went that got sent back without gregg didn't make it the family that did get sent back despite all his like beta as shit they did survive because they needed his optimism they needed what he had to offer to get through it and i find that really cool that you that that you needed both both sides of it a family needs a mother and a father and there and there are things that are beyond well it's just like there's things that are beyond instinct that dinosaurs can only operate off of

instinct, but humanity is capable of operating off of things other than instinct. Yeah. And that that is a nice message to be considering. Yeah. I love that. And he didn't end up being that. I feel like he wasn't that beta. I feel like the movie tried to make us think that.

But he was actually like, he was brave. Yeah. No, he was. Yeah, he was. I think those things are not mutually exclusive. I think you can be a, you can be kind of a beta male that does not mean you're uncourage. Or weak.

Yeah. Exactly. So that's that's the key here. This is the key here. Which is why they didn't character. Like he wasn't like a bad sniveling. Like as a person he, you like him. He's a great guy.

Sort of off put by him. But that's also for us to explore, you know? Maybe it's something to do with like he's, you can sense that he's like scared like before all the dinosaur stuff happens. He's scared that Denise is going to leave. And so he's not able to like deal with that. And we kind of despise him for that. But that's different than being like cowardly in the face of like real danger.

Correct. You know? And that's like a good distinction that we should pay attention to in our own lives. Yeah. I was thinking about when I was talking about like Elon Musk and stuff, how much I resent the fact that I am constantly anticipating the thoughts of people I hate. My like imagine thoughts of these assholes are constantly invading my own thought process. You think Elon Musk is going to stand up for anyone besides himself?

That's the thing is like we've got to. it all fucking backwards in terms of what we think of as being like a leader or like an alpha male. It's like all these guys are fucking cowards. They would only be out for themselves. Yeah. And I think like you and McGregor could have played him higher status. The same script he could have played at higher status, but he chooses really not to. And I really appreciate that choice the more I think about it. Wow. I had a great, great time. It was a great retelling. Joel did a fabulous talk. I hope so. I like kind of blacked out at a certain point, but

I was locked in. I was locked in. I was just like Anne Hathaway. Yep. Yep. She's so good in it. She's so good in it. She's so good in it. I can't wait to see it. People got a lot of feelings about her. Some people really don't like her. I think she's great. Do people still not like her? Or was that just a moment in time? People still don't. People still don't. I think the moment has passed. I think I think we all acknowledge that even if people individually don't like her, I think on the

whole we're through the moment of being like, I think that was pretty like sexist and fucked up of us to like not like her as a kind of culture. I think we're through that. But I do think she still rubs people the wrong way. I love her. And I think she's great. Yeah. She's great.

I'm a big fan. Me too. Wow. Wow. Wow. Thank you. Joel. Thank you for also making sure I didn't have to do an ounce of work on this recap.

That was really easy for me. I really liked it. It was great. truly it is like walking out of that movie being like oh my God

it's just like somebody did a movie version of what I drew on a napkin at a restaurant when I was like trying to not be bored it's so cool

it's just so cool and it's really worth seeing and it is both it does a thing that I really like when a movie is both stupid and smart

at the same time there's so much of this movie is like just like fucking take a dumb pill and kick back and relax and watch dinosaurs eat people

But it's not assuming that we're stupid. No, and there's like a lot of like thoughtful work in how they put the characters together and the way that they put the, they hit on their themes and motifs and stuff. There's much to be had if you want to like chew on it. No pun intended. But you also just really don't have to. You can just watch like dinosaurs like rip people's heads off in a driveway. Joel and I were talking the other day.

I was trying to figure out what it is about movies that like when I really hate a movie, like what is it about it? And I think it's when it's glibness, but it's also it's when people don't react to things emotionally the way that people react to things. Right. And this movie, everyone reacts to this how a person would. That's what makes it a horror movie. Which I really appreciate. Like they act like people.

Yeah. He has to. What he's he's gonna do, yeah. And like, when awful things happen, they react like awful things. Like, I don't know. I just, I really, to me,

that's what's always gonna make a movie work, is at least if the people, like, behave as people do. I think that's why the laugh, the laugh moments really work because they ring true. They're like, they're like a really, like,

little ring true moment rather than being, like, winky, uh, hate winky. Winky about it. I hate winky. And also,

I think it's like genuinely scary because the entire time you're like, oh, they're fucked. There is no... There is no way out of this. All they can do is like try to survive as long as they can and like be you're constantly reminded of just how outmatched they are. Well, I was thinking about like in the world of like the Jurassic Park franchise

where this movie eats every other Jurassic Park movie's lunch other than the original. Like absolutely so much better. And it's because this one also understands that part of what's scary about dinosaurs is the feeling of being like completely outmatched, not just physically, but like in a sense of like in a cosmic sense of just like we are cosmically nothing compared to like these killing and survival machines

that existed 200 million years ago and like feeling the weight of that is what makes those movies scary whereas like Chris Pratt ones don't do that they like really dispensed with that feeling. They're like evenly matched. Yeah exactly and like everything's actually like dinosaurs are really cool looking

and like we can like control them a little bit. It really misses that. They kind of want to be our best friends. versus being like completely alienated from us in all conceivable ways is really scary to me. Yeah. I also enjoy that the movie didn't take it so far in that direction that it was just pure darkness and cynicism and existential dread. Because it could have also been that. It's like also manages to do that plus like crazy wish fulfillment at the end where it's like she becomes a successful best selling author.

I know. She's actually better off because of everything that happened with the. She's happier in her marriage. It literally saved their marriage. They have more money now. Her daughter gets to go to Cornell. It's like, thank God. And she killed that ungrateful version of herself. Left it to die.

Yeah. And that version of her children. And that first of her children. I just love a movie that can do both. I just love a movie that can do both. It's also like it would be hard to hang out with the versions of yourselves who didn't have to go through that. Yes, true. You know?

It's like if you had to go through it, like, and we all made it out of that. I wouldn't want to hang out with the kids who did. It's like those kids are going to be shittier grownups. We got to get a sequel about the Janets and how, right? That was really... The Janets. Yeah, one of them sucks. The Janets.

That's the movie. Yeah, let's just mind that disconnect. I had a great time. I loved it. A great time with the movies. I loved having you here for this, Joel, for so many reasons. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Joel.

I know that I would, I could not survive a prehistoric. moment without you. And I wouldn't watch you. Can I tell you what my strategy would have been? I was floating this and you told me not to burn it for the podcast. Yeah, I did tell. I screamed to you all weekend. I said, don't fucking burn.

This is a real hit or miss strategy. It might work or it might really backfire catastrophically. I would go and try to live among the stegosaurus. Okay. I'm down. This is what I'm talking about is figuring out a habitat for humans that could work in this situation. Yeah, I think that they wouldn't mind my presence, but they would be a great way to protect

yourself from the predators. I love that. What do you eat? Where do you sleep? What do you eat is the main thing? What are people eating? Because you're going to run out of stuff real fast. And I wouldn't trust myself to eat like fruits from back then. Oh no. Can you imagine the indigestion? Oh my god. Oh my God. We forgot one. There's also one scene where the Brockett sources after they had sex, you see a shot of them eating ice cream

out of an ice cream truck. It's incredible. And pooping. It was like they had the best day of their lives. Did the best day of their lives. That's all. Great. day. I love you guys. This was fabulous and I loved every minute and I love you all and this is my favorite thing in the world to do with my favorite people and I'm, I couldn't be happier. I'm in my favorite room in the world. I've got Mabel back right there hanging out with me. I love my life and I really hope I don't get transported back to dinosaur time. No, I really don't want that to happen. Please no black holes. Please no space ripples. No space ripples. I don't want to, I want to stay right here in the best time to be alive. Keep me in the time with Elon Musk. Keep me here. No voices. Just regular people. Just regular people.

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