Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE HOLE with Grace Harper

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

Four teenagers, one hole, and endless hormones, we're recapping Keira Knightley's first (!!!!) film, THE HOLE! Honored to be joined by one of our all-time favorite humans, TSDW's editor/producer, Grace Harper!!! Join us, we promise it will be absolutely extracurricular <3Movie & Guest Intro @ 20:38Trivia @ 34:53Recap starts @ 47:07TrailerTW: Eating DisorderFollow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammie and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And today's episode has been like in the works for I think over one full calendar year. Correct.

Whoa, that long? Oh yeah. That long. And here we are finally. And I couldn't be more excited, truly. Me too. Me too. And if you want to jump straight to it, there are timestamps in the show notes, but we have a little bit of haunted housekeeping, just a little touch. A little dose. A little tiny dose. A tiny little dose, but a very exciting. It's small but potent. Small but potent. Just how we like it. And that is that Hellchella is coming back.

Hellchella is coming back. Hellchella returns. To Hellchella. To Hellchella. To Hellchella is the official title and I will not be taking any feedback. Well, and nobody would have any because this is an absolutely perfect title.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just a slight modification from last year's Held-Shella. This will take place in July, August and September. If you're new here, Held-Shella means we are covering all new releases for every episode for those three months. 13 weeks, baby. 13 weeks of summer. Heat, hell, horror.

It makes perfect sense. And again, once again, great horror movies coming out this summer. In fact, we adjusted to July, August, September because there's some good ones coming out in August, September range. So we needed to push for that. It's gonna be really great.

I'm really excited. We will be announcing ahead of time what the movies are because some of them are coming out soon. So you'll be able to see them in advance if that's the kind of thing you like to do. Lots of exciting announcements for Two Hell Two Chela. Also every episode will be a video episode on our Patreon. On our Patreon every episode will be a video episode.

Yes. So if you want to watch our faces while we're talking, you can do that. That'll be an option. Really? It's really exciting stuff and more details on this will be announced soon. But I feel confident that we can say that we will be doing a live show in Los Angeles in July. Details forthcoming. But if you live in LA or near LA or you want a freaking summer trip, baby, we'll have a show for you. And it's exciting.

Yay. Oh my God. Hopefully merch too. And merch for sure. But just like give us a minute on that one. We're working on it, we're working hard. Yes. It's gonna be great.

I can't wait. I cannot believe summer is upon us again. Yeah, I need to move out of this house. I don't have AC. I'm really stressed about it. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Oh God. It's gonna be fine, Sammy.

Are the mosquitoes back? Do you have mosquitoes? Yeah. No. It hasn't been bad yet. It hasn't been bad yet, but they're fucking coming. I found out that I believe Iceland is the only country where there are not mosquitoes and my interest is piqued. Let me just say. Okay.

If you live in Iceland, can you confirm or deny if you've ever been bitten by a mosquito? Oh my God, can you imagine? If and when mosquitoes get brought to Iceland, I mean confirm or deny if you've ever been bitten by a mosquito? Because it's really compelling. Can you imagine if and when mosquitoes get brought to Iceland, I mean, they'll never leave. I mean, I pray we don't see the day. I pray that it never happens. I pray, I pray, I pray. For our Icelandic friends' sake.

Silas got bit by his first mosquito of the season and I was reminded of the fact that he has like the craziest reactions because it was on his eyebrow and it blew up and so badly that it was like impacting his vision. It was so swollen that it was like hanging over his eye. He's not bothered by it. Oh, to be a toddler.

Totally fine, doesn't notice. However, I've been taking him to a gazillion birthday parties. How is that possible? Toddlers are so weird. Little kids like don't feel anything, but like. I don't know, he's deeply affected if I leave his side for 30 seconds,

but if he has the most painful looking mosquito bite on his face. Physically resilient, emotionally weak. Yeah, that's right, that's right. Children, that's how I would describe children. But I had multiple moms come up to me at this birthday party and be like, did his house get hit in the face? Is he okay?

And I'm like, that's just a mosquito. That's just what happens when he gets bit by a mosquito, I guess. I wonder if he should take Benadryl. What the fuck do I know? No, no. Literally, everyone was saying that. Everyone was like, are you giving him Zyrtec? Are you giving him like, have you tried this?

And I was like, I haven't tried a damn thing. He seems so fine. It's not bothering him. this? And I was like, I haven't tried a damn thing. He seems so fine. It's not bothering him. I'm not gonna like, I don't know. Yeah, I actually think that that's correct. I don't think you need to give your child drugs. Well, and if I recall correctly, Silas refuses to take anything.

Correct. Oh wow. It's like the lowest I've ever been as a parent is trying to get Silas to take medicine. That's the lowest of the low. Yeah, so don't worry about it. Yeah, so yeah. It's understandable why you wouldn't want to fight

that battle if you didn't need to. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, to Hell Tuchella. To Hell Tuchella. No mosquitoes invited. If you're a skeeter, you're not invited. If you're a skeeter, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out.

If you're a skeeter, what are you fucking doing here? Skeet on out of here. Skeet-daddle, skeet-daddle you skeeters. Skeet-daddle. Oh boy, exciting stuff, exciting stuff. Watch this space. Watch this space. And then onto my favorite question

I ask you guys every week. Did anything scary happen to you this week? I have something related to itchies. Itchies? Tell us. I know my least favorite sensation is to be itchy. Itchy and scratchy. Oof.

I went to Florida this past week. I missed the episode. I was devastated to miss a perfect episode. But I was in Florida for Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, and we were at the beach and laid out in the sun, a little bit, Not a lot, but a little bit. But it was the real first sun of the season because it's still been a little bit mainly chilly in Los Angeles with weird random hot days. But I have this thing that happens to me

every year that I've never really charted exactly when and when it happens. But if I'm in the sun for an extended period of time, on my chest I will get like hives, like it's not sunburn, but it is related to the sun, but it's full hives and they're like itchy and bumpy and you know, like hives are. My mom gets this too. She has to have like every inch of her skin covered.

And if there's like even a little bit exposed, then she'll get that. And it's- And it's only, it is only on my chest that it happens. Like my- Wait, I started getting like itchy chest. Did this was, was the onset of it like full hives or did it start small?

So, okay. So I did some research for the first, this has been happening to me for like half of my life. And I finally was like, I'm going to do some research because I always assumed when I was 16, I went on a cruise for my best friend's birthday, got so sunburned to the point where I had like blisters, like huge, nasty, awful blisters.

And so I always just assumed, and then it started after that. Like every year I would get these hives when I was in the sun and I was like, it's probably just because that area got like so burned, it's so sensitive. So I looked it up and it is called polymorphous light eruption, crazy name. But it's basically, it's truly like sun allergy.

Like your body has an immune, like antihistamine response to sun exposure. If you're a person this happens to, it usually starts happening in your teens or twenties. More common in women, which I think is because it's an autoimmune response. And it will basically happen every single year, the first time you have any extended sun exposure of the season. It's like your body remembering what the sun is, and it's usually in areas of your body

that get the most sun contact. So like chest is a common place, sometimes face. And it just, it's like, so probably it won't happen again for me for the rest of the summer, but it happens every single year and it will last like a couple of days, like an allergy response and it's like itchy. And I just think it's really fascinating.

My body's like literally allergic to the sun. Wow. Wow. You could not do what Killian Murphy did. You would turn into a sun ghoul. I would be a sun ghoul. Immediately. Well, and it's like, I guess an option would be just like, don't have like, just always be completely covered up from the sun. But I'm not, I'm not going to do that.

And so, but like sunscreen doesn't matter, right? Not really. No. Because it's like, it's, I mean, I think it would help probably. And I mean, the thing is I was wearing sunscreen and this wearing sunscreen and the only place it happened was on my chest, the same spot it always does. And then it's itchy. And it's itchy.

It's like a rash that lasts for like three, four days. Yuck. Yeah. So I had that, I had that this week. But now it means maybe I'm good for the summer, ready for Hell Chella? Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

I think it does, I think it does mean exactly that. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice it only happens once. That's kind of huge. In theory, in theory. I mean, I could still get sunburned and I probably will at some point in the summer, but that allergy response is truly, I think it's your body just being like,

oh, I forgot what this is, I don't like it. And body just being like, oh, I forgot what this is, I don't like it. And then it's like, okay, I remember the sun now. Did you put anything on it to help it feel better? Did anything help? Yeah, I mean, I did some hydrocortisone at one point and some calamine and I actually put some of my castor oil and Vanny cream just to soothe, but just like anything else, it's just like, you know, you just sort of soothe your, your little inflamed skin, keep it out of the sun, you know? Well, we missed you so much last week.

I missed you so much. Never do it again, never leave again. Fair, fair. Honestly, another scary thing was flying right now and we don't have to get into it. Flying is still safe relatively, but it was scary. Yeah, I had the, I booked our flights to Los Angeles a few days ago.

Just don't think about it, you know, don't worry about it. And there was a cheaper, better flight out of Newark and I was like- You're not taking it. And I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that. So I paid more money to fly in and out of JFK at a less convenient time. Yeah, I mean, I wonder why it's cheaper. I wonder why it's cheaper. They're like, we have one air traffic controller that day.

That'll be enough, right? And I think everything will work. Yeah, no, it's scary. They're like, we have one air traffic controller that day. That'll be enough, right? And I think everything will work. Yeah, no, it's scary and I'm scared for New York and they're doing their best, but it's a scary time. Everybody just be safe out there, but it's also, it's fine. It's don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it. They should have a service that'll just black you out

when you get on the plane. I think some people do that. I know. I think they do, I mean, for some flights, they may be free alcohol. Xanax, alcohol. There's ways. Yeah.

If anyone has a doctor who will prescribe me like a huge amount of clonopin, just slide into my DM. A huge amount. That's not a red flag to a doctor when you go in asking for a huge amount of clonopin. Just the biggest size you got, the biggest pill. Anyway, speaking of clonopin. Just the biggest size you got, the biggest pill. Anyway, speaking of clonopin, speaking of sun,

speaking of being scared, I went to the carnival yesterday. Whoa. You know, I did one time go to Six Flags with some clonopin, took some clonopin at Six Flags and I had a great time. Oh my God. Yeah, you never enjoyed a roller coaster more. I was so scared of the roller coasters

and someone's like, I have clown fin. I was like, okay, great. Oh my God. This should be really fun. And then on the roller coaster's like, woo. I feel so calm and relaxed. So I'm flying upside down. So yeah, so this is my, this is my experience.

By carnival, I mean one of those fairs that is like, you know, they just like pop up in a yard. Yeah, right. Exactly. They have like 16 year olds building it the day before. And I don't know how that shit is legal. It feels like it's not regulated. Um, whatever, that's fine.

So we went to fair with Silas and May, and I was so excited. I was like, Silas, let's go on the Ferris wheel. You and me, we're gonna go on the Ferris wheel. And Silas was like, okay, all right. So we wait in line, we get on the Ferris wheel, and he's totally fine. I immediately am terrified.

And of course, as a mom to a four-year-old, I can't, almost four-year-old, I can't show that I'm scared. Sure. Like that's not gonna go well. I have to be having the time of my life. So I overdo it, of course. I'm like, oh, look at that, look at the daddy.

This is so fun, we're having so much sun. I'm the best one ever. Oh, look at that, look at the saddies. This is so fun, we're having so much fun. I'm just the last one ever. Meanwhile on the inside, I'm like, don't look up, don't look to the side, don't look down, just look straight ahead, just look straight ahead. And like, cause I literally got so scared you guys. I got, I felt like my stomach drop out

from underneath of me. Every time Seth's moved a little bit, it would like swing, you know? And I was like, I took all of my effort not to be like, don't move. I was like, ah, having the time of my life. And you know, on a Ferris wheel, like they're taking people on and off.

So you're like, your seat just goes up a little bit and then stops and then up a little bit and then stops and then up a little bit and then stops until you're like at the very top, just like swinging haphazardly on this truly pile of junk, like a pile of garbage. That was assembled like six hours ago by hungover teenagers.

By a guy who like the roughest, meanest man you've ever seen. The roughest, meanest man. Who might as well have like, who's like spitting tobacco and just like, get in the fucking Ferris wheel seat. Arden, I put this myself. He's like, a hundred tickets, please, only $50. And, you know, we did it, it was fine,

but it just reminded me of how scared I am of rides. Like I'm really, I think of myself as being scared of horror movies, but I am not scared of horror movies in the same way that I'm scared of rides. Like they really genuinely scare me. The Ferris wheel, the tamest, easiest, who cares type of thing.

I mean, if that thing fell apart though, that would be very bad. It'd be bad. It would be bad. It's not the ride itself, right? You're not scared of the ride itself. You're scared of the awareness of the stakes of your choice, which is reasonable.

Like you just don't wanna be getting on a rickety ride. I told you guys about, I was at the fair once and do you know the zipper? That's like a famous fair ride that is kind of Ferris wheel. It's like an oblong Ferris wheel where you're in a cage. It goes a lot faster. Yes, they had that. They had that. They spin you around and the thing spins and it spins around.

Yeah. And I was next in line for that and a big screw fell out of the ride and they stopped it and some kid like climbed on and screwed it back in and then like called me up and was like, okay, come on like next. And I was like, well, I'm about to die, but I couldn't possibly embarrass myself. No, this was, this was sober and I just was like, well, I guess here we go and I'll probably die now and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of anybody so I'll just get on. Not in front of this teen,

not in front of this rough, mean man. Tough. Oh, yeah. So when you guys go to Disneyland and stuff, because you know you've given me a lot of shit for not going to amusement parks, but I think a big reason I don't go is because I don't want to go on any of the rides.

I do get a little, now Disney I trust more than most places just because the Disney brand is strong. They do not want to have any bad press, almost to a scary degree. But remember when that alligator ate the two-year-old at the Disney park? Yeah, that did happen. Remember that? But I'm not going near alligators. Yeah, but why are they have a toddler eating alligators on property? Well, that was Florida, so it's sort of like, what can you do? That near alligators. Yeah, but like, why are they have toddler eating alligators on property?

That was Florida. So sort of like, what can you do? That happens all the time. But I do. There is like a little moment. I think every time I go to Disney, there is at least one moment on one ride where I immediately stop having fun and I'm just like, oh, my God, I can't wait till this is over. I'm a little bit scared that I'm going to die right now.

Yeah, that does happen every time. It happened on the one last moment to Disney. It's the one that is like that roller coaster in California Adventure. It's just like a true roller coaster. And yeah, about a third of the way through, I was like, oh, oh God, oh no. And I was sitting next to Joel and like every time he like put his hands up, I was like, don't don't don't don't don't. Like I was just freaking out the whole time. Just like went silent for the last two thirds of the roller coaster, just hoping that we

would make it through. So I don't know, being alive is really scary. I guess that's part of the experience though. You know, that's part of it. You want to feel a little fear. It's fun to feel fear. Yeah, but not like that. It's like that.

I don't want to actually think I might die. I know. It's crazy to me though, that like people can have that feeling from horror movies because I have had it once or twice. Remember when I watched Paranormal Activity 2 when I was living alone in Washington in the middle of the woods and in a house that was basically just made of windows in the middle of the night? Yeah, that was a bad idea. That was a scary job location. It was so scary. And I was like, I'm going to die tonight. Like I just, I never have that feeling watching horror movies. And it's so funny.

The logic behind that is like what someone's standing outside the windows waiting to you finish your movie. Like they know what movie you're watching. And they're like, tonight's the night I'll kill her because she's already scared. No, it was a demon as I thought it was gonna be a demon. Well that makes more sense. Cause that's, that would be what a demon would do.

And the house is creaky cause I don't know this house very well. So every noise that's happening, I'm like, well be a demon. Well, that makes more sense because that would be what a demon would do. And the house is creaky because I don't know this house very well. So every noise that's happening, I'm like, well, there's the demon, he's coming. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Look, it's scary. It is, it is. Sammy, did anything scary happen to you this week?

Something scary did happen to me this week. It's a quick one, but actually scary. I was driving on the freeway, a rock hit my windshield, which happens, you know, regularly, you know, you're driving and a little pebble hits. Sure, sure. And usually it's fine. This time it wasn't fine, my windshield cracked.

Uh-oh. Oh no. And then I'm like driving on the freeway with a cracked windshield, just being like, am I about to die? Like, is it gonna fully shatter? Yeah, like I didn't know what to do. I was like not close to home. I was on the other side of LA.

And so I was like, well, I have to drive home and I think it's fine, but also like, what if another rock hits it? And then it like shattered. It was a really scary drive home. And I haven't driven since and my car is just in my parking spot and I'm tomorrow gonna take it to get replaced. But did you stay on the freeway for the remainder of your drive or did you go to side streets?

Yeah, luckily it's LA so it was pretty traffic-y. There were a few moments where I was going actually top speed. But yes, I did stay on the freeway and just got really nervous. And then it was like also trying to Google things because that's truly literally everything that happens to me anywhere, any place. It's like, I Google it, which is so annoying. It's so stupid. But really the Googling while driving

would be the probably bigger danger. And I was just like, I must know. Scrolling Reddit, going through subreddit after subreddit. Just like scrolling the internet. Watching like a full car repair episode on YouTube. Right, right. Yeah, so I have to get my windshield replaced. It's just annoying.

It's annoying. It's really annoying. But you do have to do that. I do have to do it and it could have been worse, I guess. So I guess, you know, just as weird to be driving normal and not get in an accident and then be like, well, my car's fucked up now. Car might kill me. For reasons beyond my control. Yeah.

Oh, anyways, it'll be fine. But it was a little scary. Yeah. And another scary thing I did this week was watch this week's movie. Kind of scary. It wasn't streaming anywhere. And I found that out last minute. It is The Hole from 2001, directed by Nick Hamm, written by Ben Cort and Caroline Ip based on the novel After the Hole by Guy Burt. Great title. Love that title. After the Hole. Starring,

Thora Burch, Desmond Harrington, Daniel Brocklebank, Lawrence Fox, Keira Knightley, and M. Beth Davids. Like I said, it is streaming nowhere. I looked it up on my TV and it said it was streaming on Pluto and then I clicked on it and it took me to a Spanish movie called Atrapados, which I think might mean hole in Spanish. Maybe not. I didn't look it up. I was very confused. Didn't know what was happening, but our guest came to my rescue and provided me with a means of viewing this film. You guys, it's our producer, producer of this show, Grace, Grace Harper. Hi.

Oh my God. Oh my God. She's here. Oh my God. She's here. I'm so bummed that I have to talk now. No. It's just so fun.

It was all fun. And now it's not going to be anymore. It's getting real. Grace. Grace. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming onto our show. Thank you for listening to us, Babble.

Thank you for listening to us just, you know, chitter chatter every single week and make us sound slightly coherent. Thank you for removing all the stupid things I say. I really appreciate that. Which are bountiful. Oh, it's just littered. These episodes are littered with things that Henley says you'll never hear.

Also, Grace sends the funniest emails. Every email you send, Grace, really, really delights me. Look, we couldn't do it without Grace. We did it before without her, and I'm so glad we never have to again. Never. Especially Halchella. If you love Halchella, you already freaking love Grace.

She makes it possible, and we're thrilled. Grace, okay, tell our listeners how you feel about horror movies. No, first, Grace. Oh, did anything scary happen to you this week? Grace, there's a thing, there's a thing that is a classic Henley-ism that you gotta cut right out of your head.

Do you like, okay, do you like horror movies or do you really like them or do you love them? Henley, no, we're not there yet. She's off peace. She's out of control. Grace, did anything scary happen to you this week? Something scary is happening to me as we speak. My younger sister, who I live with, is a nail tech as a side hustle. Nice.

And I promised her that I would grow my nails out so she could do them up. And so my nails are longer than they've ever been. I do not like when I can see my nails like over the top of my fingers. Right. I don't like that either. I need my hands for utility. Cause I'm, I realize what it is is I'm scared that something's going to rip my nail off longer. They are like, they're more vulnerable. Yeah. So that's it. I'm just very aware of them. And then when she puts gels on them, I'm having a sensory meltdown.

Like I don't, my rings, I don't do, yeah. Yeah. What a sister. Oh, don't get me started. What are, okay, what's the age difference between you two? Two years. Okay, nice, okay, good and close, good and close. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm the exact opposite. I want like claws on my fingers. I want to feel, it makes me feel like a lady. Yeah, Emily, I don't know how you do it. I, my fingers are long right now for me and I hate it. The fact that I can even see like the whites of my nails makes me want to throw up.

That's not right. I want to be able to click them on things. Click, click. Yeah, I do like doing the drumming of the nails. I actually, no, Grace, I don't know. I feel like I have the exact same thing as you. Like it's a sensory thing where if they're too long, I can't, I have to go home. I have to be alone. Yes. I have to be alone.

I stand with you. Wow. I'll literally think about it. I'll be thinking about it and touching them. Even right now they're too long and it's bothering me. It's on my mind constantly. I was going to say, this is making me look at my nails. I do pottery now and so I can't have long nails. So I was kind of experimenting with some, now I can't even remember what they're called, nail extensions, what are they called?

Acrylic, false nails, press-ons. The kind Emily gets. Are some just tips? Some are just tips. I do want someone to explain to me how this works. I have tips and then the whole thing, just the tip. And then the whole thing is painted over with like a hard, like an extra hard gel, like a, that is, it's not acrylic. It's not as intense as acrylic, but it is like a,

it's just like an extra fortified layer to get them nice and long. I also feel like my hands, I don't know you guys can really tell. My fingers are already too long. I think your beautiful hands. I have like a small palm and like freakishly long spidery fingers. And so then to have like extra nail on top is just like, I feel like salad fingers. Remember salad fingers?

Yeah. He likes rusty spoons. That awesome. I feel like salad fingers. Remember salad fingers? Ew, yeah. He likes rusty spoons. That's what I feel like. See, I feel like I need the nails because I have a squat. My hands are very squat. And I need to draw, you know, I need to draw the eye away.

I need to elongate. Yeah, elongate, that's the word. Yeah, yeah. I have like wide, wide little grippers and I need some. See, I have, my feet are like that. As you guys know, peasant feet, Tim calls them my marshmallow feet. But the problem is that how does one elongate a foot? You know, it's not like I could do.

Sammy's used false toenails. I have, but not for length. Not for length. Not for length. I guess kind of for length. For good. Yeah, but just because my toes are ugly. They're not.

I disagree. But I wouldn't actually recommend them because it's like, you know how fake nails fuck up your nails? Like fake toes fuck up your toes too. So it didn't, in the long run, it was a bandaid, not a fix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, well, Grace, I'm really feeling for you. That's so scary and you're such a good sister. Can you just like fucking answer my question now, though, about like how you feel about horror movies? I don't really like horror movies. I'm mostly aligned with Emily. Okay. That said, I have seen all the Saw movies. All of them?

The Final Destination, all of them. Why? All of them. Well the final destiny, all of them. Why? All of them. Well, so. Being a completionist. It's cause I didn't watch horror movies growing up. I was a very scared child. I was really more affected by scenes of like

humiliation in movies than like scary scenes. Like Princess Diaries when, oh, when Mandy Moore exposes her getting changed and then like. Oh, that beach scene or whatever. Oh, horrible, Oh, when Mandy Moore exposes are getting changed and then like, Oh, that's a beach scene or whatever. Oh, horrible. Like things like that. The actress, fuck you, Mandy Moore, Academy award winner and Hathaway. But I was scared. My two, my biggest fears in childhood with the grand high witch from the witches and

this episode of goosebumps that I saw called the haunted mask where this girl got a mask stuck on her face and it just seemed to make her like really mean to everyone around her. It's like Halloween and some kids are like making fun of a mask and she turns around and just like screams at them and they get really upset. And I, it was a real fear for me in that I was keenly aware of the feeling of like something came out of my mouth and now everyone's upset with me. Yeah. Really played on that fear. But I had a full circle moment of healing with that in 2018.

And you got a mask stuck to your face. It happens to the best of us. I went to a Halloween show at UCB sunset. A historic and wonderful theater. RIP. RIP, everybody misses it, everybody loved it. I saw Paula Tompkins and Kirby do a two-man improv scene. Based, they were gonna be shown a scene from a horror movie or something.

And it was a scene from The Haunted Mask. The first time that I had seen this since like childhood. And it's not scary in the slightest. It's actually pretty bad production value. Doesn't matter sometimes. Oh, it really stuck with me. So then you got to watch them do an improv scene and it healed you, it healed your childhood wounds.

And I was no longer scared. Wow, the healing power of improv. Honestly, but so I was never a horror movie person. I went through like, my family had like five deaths within like a 14 month period, including my dad. And then after that, I was so disaffected that it was just like, yeah, I wanna watch people die. Yeah, sure.

Now I've grown out of it, but I'm sort of like, I'll check out Sawrex, see what's happening. Sure. It's like a controlled space to... Yeah. And also it's not like people being straight up murdered, it's just like, there's some pretty crazy ways to die. I love the idea of the Saw writers room of them brainstorming all the traps and stuff.

It's very interesting to think of like It's a thing about like Final Destination too that it's just for me That's what makes those movies more doable because I just am thinking about people the Figuring out like and getting so excited about being like holy shit someone could die this, you know It's like I love that stuff it like it's not different dissimilar to me from like Mission Impossible Right, you know like in Ghost Protocol the fucking like car sequence thinking about the people being like, okay I love that stuff. It's not dissimilar to me from Mission Impossible. In Ghost Protocol, the fucking car sequence, thinking about the people being like, okay, so he could be in a car thing.

The elevator that goes up and down and he could be- And it's the same thing. It's like a car vending machine. Yeah. Amazing. And that they could do that for 10 fucking movies? That's crazy. Plus.

My favorite, I'm obsessed with in the original Saw, it's like, okay You have what like a day to cut off one foot and then in saw 10 It's like you have 30 seconds to cut out like half a pound of your brain Ramping up and up ramp ramp up 30 seconds for. You gave him 30 seconds for that? Jesus Christ, Jigsaw, come on. Yeah. Well, you know, Jigsaw's got the same thing. He needs to keep feeling alive.

Yeah, yeah. Well, Jigsaw really goes through it, guys. Yeah, well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Jigsaw's been through some stuff. He's been through some shit. So we have to respect that. So what's your experience with this movie, with the whole?

Wait, I was gonna say, Grace, I feel like our very first time meeting you, this you dropped this movie's name. This is like, yeah, this was if to add to your guys' listener requests, which I am on top of and I see all of and definitely write them down. The whole I was still in primary school when this came out. I remember seeing it poster on the side of a bus and a girl in my class, I just was scared from like

the trailer and a girl in my class had said she'd seen it. And I was like, how is it? She's like, yeah, it's not even that scary. We were like 10. Oh, she was so cool. Fucking tough. So then a few years later, it was on TV. I was probably like 14 and cool.

I didn't see like the first maybe half an hour of this movie, just the second half. And it just, it really stuck with me to this day. It stuck with me watching it again. It stuck with me. I just, it was the first time I sort of, uh, cause it's a bit, it's a bit of a psychological one. And it was my first real experience of like, oh movies can do that. And it's not bad. I'll say that at the top. It's a pretty, it's a average movie. It's fine.

Kira Knightley's in it. Kira Knightley is 15 in it. It's her first big thing. Bend It Like Beckham, did that come out in 2001 too? Was the next year. Yeah. It's 2002. This was before Pirates, before Love Actually. This was before Bend It Like Beckham, did that come out in 2001 too? Was the next year. Yeah. Oh. It's 2002.

This was before Pirates, before Love Actually, this was before Bend It Like Beckham. Wow. It's crazy to remember, cause she's one of those people too, to me, has always looked like a full grown woman. And, but then you look, you watch back and you're like, no, she actually looks like baby,

but Joel and I rewatched the first Pirates movie, not that long ago, and she was like fucking 19 in that movie. And it is completely insane. This movie, this was one of the things that really tripped me up about it is like, she's 15. And so I went to a girl's school. I have seen incredibly pretty teenage girls.

None of them are on the level of like, you're a movie star. Like it doesn't compute to me seeing her in this movie. She's deaf, she's clearly a star. She's so magnetic. She does not look 15. Like it's straight up, like I cannot rationalize myself at 15 with how she looks. Like she just never had a baby face.

It's really crazy. I can't rationalize myself at 33 with 34. I'm 34. With how she looked. Like it's like, it's the math ain't mathin'. She's wild, yeah. Yeah. And also I feel like this is a common thing

among celebrities where I'm sure, you know, in real life, you're probably like, whoa, that person is very intense looking. And then on the screen, it just translates differently. You know? Like having all these like hard edges in your face is very good for the screen. And then probably in real life, you're like, whoa. Yeah.

Sammy, have you seen this movie before? I had not. I hadn't even heard of it before, but I watched it this weekend. I loved it. It feels very like of the 2001 horror world, like faculty ish. It has a freaking dimension logo in the beginning. So that's always exciting. But yeah, I loved it.

But I had not seen it before. So thank you, Grace, for bringing this movie to my attention. Quite welcome. And you get to own it on DVD forever. Yeah, I did order it. I did order it. It hasn't arrived yet, but I'm gonna have it just in case. I had never heard of this movie before.

I still know absolutely nothing about it. It's news to me that Keira Knightley's in it. Emily, had you heard of this movie before? Nope. Okay. No, I got nothing, but I'm excited. Me too. Give me a freaking 2001 teen horror movie.

I'm like very, very interested. Signed up. Yeah. So just to run down the ages of them. Yeah, yeah. Please. Keira Knightley is 15, Thor Butch is 18. This was her first like starring role sort of thing. Post-American B. Post-American B. Yeah. Okay.

Lawrence Fox is 22, Desmond Harrington is 23 when they filmed this. Oh, wow. They don't look, it's more the fact that like comparing Desmond Harrington to Keira Knightley is 22, Desmond Harrington is 23, when they filmed this. Oh wow. They don't look, it's more the fact that like comparing Desmond Harrington to Keira Knightley is like, oh, there's like this, this eight years difference. He does look like an older person that's been like made to look like a teen, but he doesn't, they don't look that far removed from each other. I think it's good.

It's good casting. Yeah. Desmond Harrington also looks weathered, you know, he's always looked weathered. That's kind of his vibe. That's like in love actually how Keira Knightley was like three years older than the child's movie. Yeah. So sometimes, yeah, it's deceptive.

The Whole has a 53% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 6.2 on IMDb. The budget was four million pounds and it made $7.8 million. I love when they do this on Wikipedia. What does it mean? What does it mean? I will not be doing that math. I think it profited. Yeah. Seems like it. I don't know the pound to dollar conversion in the year 2001. I don't know

it now. It's going down right now, I can tell you that. Oh yeah, it's not great. Yeah. It's not ideal. But okay, Grace said this trailer really scared her, so. Well, I'm excited. Let's see if it still does. How would you like to go to the best private party

of your life? Me, you, Mike and Jeff. Absolutely extracurricular. All right, I'm in. of your life me you like Absolutely extra curricular Oh What was happened I'll take a slam themselves long Ah! They must have slammed themselves locked. How long before we're found? Kill von Dieb. Why me? It's gonna be fine. This would have absolutely fucked me up as a teenager. So much scarier than the faculty, I have to say. It does.

And like, dirty. It looks really scary. Yeah, dirty. It looks, I was gonna say, it's very filthy. It looks nasty. Also, I was really trying to find the through line with that copy. Like, it was like, in the dark.

Yeah, so many different things. Way too many. I'm like, wait. It's like a full story. The darkness will contain their fears, unless they survive. And I was like, wait, what? Like buried secrets.

Wait, what happens if they survive? What, what? A little heavy on the copy. And then just like, just going across the screen, like a little ticker tape. Yeah, fascinating stuff. I didn't like the looks of that. I didn't like the looks of it. Not one little bit.

It has all of my least favorite things. Filth, teens. Filth. Secrets. Filth, teen secrets. Partying, partying teens scare me more than I think anything. Demons. It is scary.

I feel like I can take a demon, a partying teen who's lost a sense of themself and are just falling into nihilism. That's probably the scariest thing that could exist. It's up there. Wow. Yeah, at first it reminded me of the little like bunker in Riverdale that Archie lives in for a while

that I was like, oh hell yeah. And then it very quickly stopped being that and I didn't like it anymore. Yeah. Throwing up, throwing up was in there. Oh, it was. Yeah, just a shot of vomiting. I feel like I've rarely seen her

with like long hair like that. I mean, I've rarely seen her with like long hair or like that. I mean, I guess she has long hair in Pride and Prejudice. I mean in Pirates, but it's very curly. And she also does have long hair in Pride and Prejudice, but it's like a period. I don't know. I was just like, whoa, she's like, it's a different vibe from Karen Nightly

that I'm used to seeing. She's a teen. She's a full teen. Also, her saying extracurricular really does something to my brain. Extracurricular. Her accent is, she's so posh. The director discovered her.

He said she was like a young Julie Christie. It just means she's like hella English. She's so English, like extremely well-spoken. How do you like to come to the best party of your life? Of your life. Oh, I loved that. I love her. I really do. She's great.

Always has been great. Always has been great. But was really treated poorly by the world, by the media. She got fucked. It will come up in this. How much do you guys know about Lawrence Fox? Okay, I was gonna ask this because I logged this movie on Letterboxd

and the first comment on it was like being locked in a hole with Lawrence Fox is like the scariest thing imaginable. I don't know anything about him. And so I Googled him and I saw that he's kind of like a right wing activist, maybe like a, maybe like a Mel Gibson type. So a very quick crash course. He is from an acting family. His sister is married to Richard Ayawadi. His cousin was in the pianist. Like he's from an acting family. I love Richard Ayoade. Richard Ayoade is not a right wing activist, is he?

No, but we will come back. Okay, I love that. So this is Lawrence Fox's first movie role. I do honestly think he's great in it. It's not far removed from like, I guess who he is. Uh-oh. But like, anyway, he does well for himself as an actor. He becomes like the sidekick

in a long running middle-aged detective show. He marries Billy Piper. This is her second marriage. Her first marriage was to a radio DJ called Chris Evans, who was like 20 years older than her. And so now they're like on the same level. Everything seems great. They get divorced in 2016.

In hindsight, their divorce being finalized a month before Brexit might have been an indication of something. 2019, COVID happens. He is full on unleashed. He is a like COVID denier. He is a right wing. That really pushed truly some people off. He was on Question Time, which is a very babyish name for a very serious program where they have like

And then like members of the audience can ask them questions, but he was on there He just like he's racist. He's just off his rocker He founded his own right wing party because the right wing party in the UK of their which there are many was not right wing enough for him right He now exclusively sued and is sued for libel and loses regardless of which side he's on. He sucks. He legit sucks. He is good in this movie. Yeah. Yeah. He's good at playing like a cocky teenager. That's wow. Like a posh English boy. And that's, that's Laurence Fox. So he does suck. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Thank you for that. Cause I was curious.

Yeah. I love, I want British culture lessons as often as possible, because you know what it reminds me of is that America and, and England are cut from the same cloth, literally. And it is like, Oh, we're not alone. No, no, no, we're not alone in sucking. We take it to a specific and unique level here

in our baby country. But people can suck anywhere. People can suck anywhere. And I find that reassuring. Yeah, that is nice. One more thing, please. This movie was released in 2001 for the occasion. I am wearing a Nickelback hoodie.

Oh, very good. Very nice. I've owned this hoodie since 2003, and today I ripped it trying to get it on over my glasses because my head has grown. Nickelback's Silver Side Up came out in 2001. Great. Would you like to guess what day in 2001 it came out?

Oh my God, no. And I think we can all say it at the same time. September 11th. Did it come out on September 11th? Oh no. Silver Side Up by Nicol Bap was released on 9-11, 2001. Big day. I'm wearing the hoodie simply because it was released

in 2001 and because kind of this movie did remind me of who I really am. Yep. Wow. And I will have to take it off at some point because I am legit like a Swae. Wow. But I will commit to the bit for as long as it lasts.

Okay, we've gotten a lot of information going into this film. I feel it, yeah, I feel it. I don't wanna talk about the film. I just wanna keep writing information. Oh, the score is done by a guy named Clint Mansell, who is, he did Requiem for a Dream. He'd done a bunch of Darren Aronofsky films. He did Black Swan. He started out in an alt rock band. He was signed to Trent Reznor's

label. So this soundtrack is very beats, boops, strings, bass. Like it's very industrial sort of, it's kind of challenges, but like early 2000s. Yeah. Challengers, but if it was in a dirty hole. And you guys better pay attention to the hole because your next live stream will be from there. You have to go in the hole from a hole. Perfect. The scariest thing about this movie for me is that I absolutely would have gotten gone into the hole. Yeah. Yeah, like as a high schooler, I was always like, what kind of weird things are around here that we can explore? Like guys, I think we'd have a nice afternoon together

in the hole. I think the hole is all about who you go in the hole with. But I can confidently say there is no way in hell I would have gone into a hole. I'm more likely to go into the hole now than I would have been as a teenager. Wow. See, now this is where I'm in likely to go into the hole now than I would have been as a teenager. Wow. See, now this is where I'm in the middle,

where I wasn't actively seeking out the hole, but I was like, if someone invited me and I had nothing else going on, I was like, okay, I see. But everyone else is going to the hole. I'll do it. Yeah. Sure. Life is a journey, you know?

That's why teens scare me. I've just, I put myself into so many dangerous situations as a teenager. I look back on now and I'm I've just, I put myself into so many dangerous situations as a teenager. I look back on now and I'm like, wow, I was stupid. Yeah, I mean, your brain is not developed yet. Not developed yet. It's like one of its weirdest times as a teenager. Oh, it's a tough time.

It's a really tough time. We feel bad for teens, but also they're scary. Yeah, exactly. It's true. We were all them, but I'm glad to not be them. And I don't want to associate with them. I don't want anything to do with them. I'm so glad. But I wish them the best. Henley, your kids are going to be teens one day.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. It's going to be tough. Really scary. It's going to be really scary. Especially, I mean, both of them will, I mean, May is stronger, stronger than I am. She's going to be seven feet tall by then. She's so strong. She's so strong. She's going to be seven feet tall by then. She's so strong. She's so strong. She's going to be like physically overpowering me and emotionally and mentally. And I just have to be at peace with it.

Yeah, you got time. You got time. You could get bigger by then. You could get hench. Yeah, I could start drinking more creatine. Yeah, we'll bulk you up by then. Okay, I need that. Because you're a physical match for your teenage daughter.

Let's talk about this movie. Do we have more trivia or are we doing? No, let's do it. Nope, let's get into it. Let's do it. Little known fact about my beloved husband, Tim, he is a hot sleeper. I ch joke that sleeping

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Um, it's clear and nightly. Yeah. Yeah. This is kind of maybe the start of the national conversation about our body. What is it like heroin, heroin chic? It's very of that time. Yep. Skinny bitch season. Yeah. So we begin as a pulsing ominous baseline and like kind of crunchy digital sounds. And there's a search light over the production cards and you hear some

heavy breathing. Oh, I hate all of this. So much. I hate it all. Enough, we're done. Okay, the breathing builds, and then you see like a point of view shot of a dirt road, and there's hedges and trees, and in the bushes there's like flowers and ribbons and like posters fastened to them. And we see someone stumbling down this road, it's the source of our heavy breathing. We don't see who it is yet,

we see that they're wearing socks, no shoes, and a long overcoat. They're cut up, dirty. They're filthy. Filthy. You get a glimpse that the paper that's kind of strewn all around has the word missing at the top. You can hear the sound effects of flies. There's a lot of flies sound effects in this movie, which I did not care for. But it cuts to one of these missing posters and you can see there's four pictures.

The fourth one is obscured, but there's three very smiley teens that you can see. Shifts back to the girl who's now in a light jog. There's an old castle looking building and our girl has stopped. She's got like a kind of longish bob, like plum colored hair. It's all over her face. She's greasy. She's dirty. She's nasty.

She stops to look at something and then carries on going up. We see what she was looking at. We get a big orchestral stab. It's a missing poster with her face on it. This is Thor Birch. Her character is Liz. Okay. She in the photo, she has a big smile, rosy cheeks. She's very clean. She didn't always look this bad. We carry on to this castle building. This is a school. She goes down this very long hallway with like stained glass windows and it's lined with like school desks set out sort of exam style. She's stumbling down it. She's mumbling like almost there, almost there to herself. You see like another corridor that's framed with pictures. You see another photo of her like holding a trophy. She sounds dehydrated as hell. She it's nasty.

Uh, but she reaches a set of like three kind of payphone style phones. She picks one up and she does 999. The operator says emergency, which services do you require? She pauses and then she screams. She full on full on screams down the receiver. Very funny choice. We see it echoes like down the corridor outside. Like we get the sort of like pan back of like how far this scream sort of echoes. And then she gets down on the floor. She's hugging her knees. She's whimpering for help. Ladies and gentlemen, the hole. So we get more beats and boops. The soundtrack is really kicking. We get an aerial shot of ambulances driving down that same dirt road.

It's leading to the school. We see police cars and reporters and we get an exposition or montage. This is Braeborn school. The news is just in that the missing teenagers have been found after 18 days. There is an American reporter there to let everyone know that the fees to this school are over $30,000 a year. There are unconfirmed reports that the four teens have been taken to a local hospital. One of the four is Mike Steel.

He's the son of rock guitarist Stevie Steel. And we get our first look into the hole, which has a bunch of forensics teams doing their thing. The hole is kind of a mischaracterization of what it is. It's a, it's like a big concrete bunker, kind of like a big dome. Basically there's like a mezzanine level, which is all like made of metal. It's all very industrial. There's some separation in there. There's like a sort of main floor, but there's a bathroom in the very center of it. There's like an octagonal pit with like a sort of lip around the edge of it. I don't know what its function would be.

It's mostly just there so they can sit and like dangle their feet and like tell stories in a circle at some point. There's a single bunk bed with a mattress. There's like wooden and plastic pallets lying around. It's nasty, it sucks, it's concrete, it's grim. Fluorescent lighting. Yeah, it sucks, the whole sucks.

Yeah, the whole thing, yeah. But again, I would go into this. I would go into this whole. It's like an interesting semi furnished hole. Like, come on, I'm going to go check that out. Yeah, fair enough. It's like an urban exploration thing. Semi furnished is a very liberal description. So here we have a semi furnished hole. And the hole is in the middle of a woods.

We see a little bit of a forest. And it's like a little bit of a forest. It's like a little bit of a forest. It's like a little bit of a forest. So here we have a semi furnished hole. And the hole is in the middle of a woods. We see the police tape outside this forensics people. There's a lot of investigation going on with this hole. So back to Liz. She's in a paper gown and a hospital bed.

So I watched the director's commentary. I bought the DVD because I wanted to watch the director's commentary. The nurse wheels in a rape kit. They cut a line that said, this is a rape kit. It's kind of implicit because they have her in the bed. They're about to put her, she's in the speculum position, her feet are together. Nurse is about to put the speculum in. She freaks out. She slams the legs together. She's screaming with her mouth shirt. She's in the fetal position. She's pushing the nurses away. She's, she's traumatized. It's also not a hospital room that I have ever seen. Kind of looks like a room in the hall. We'll just use the same set. We'll just reuse. Hose it down. It'd be fine. So yeah, she's not doing great. And then she's now

in like a residential psychiatric facility. She has a bedroom. There's like a hospital bed. It's very basic. She's sitting on a chair in the corner, sitting in silence, still wearing a hospital gown. We get a closer look at her eyes, just like staring vacantly. And then she starts hearing whispers. They get louder and louder. She closed her eyes and someone is saying, Liz! And we get some very quick cuts, there's like a creepy gargoyle looking statue, voices, see you inside.

There's like some pink plastic covered in maggots, there's like maniacal laughter, someone saying he's going to kill us. See a bathroom wall with blood on it, someone's screaming, you hear another voice saying, Liz, Liz, Liz! And then she in the hole yells, no, stop. And back to the bedroom. She's still in complete silence. There's a knock at the door. A woman enters. She says, I'm Dr. Hallward. I'm here to help you. This is miss honey. Oh, from Matilda. From Matilda. The original Matilda. She's also in 13 ghosts. She's in 13. She's also in Bridget Jones's Diary. She had these three movies come out this year,

the whole 13 Ghosts and Bridget Jones's Diary. A great year for Ameth. She was crushing it. Why would we be calling her Miss Honey? Cause that is what I know her as. So Miss Honey and Liz go to a different room in the house. She's not wearing the hospital gown anymore. I don't know if that is meant to imply

that time has passed or whatever. She's now wearing clothes and sunglasses. She's not wearing the hospital gown anymore. I don't know if that is meant to imply that time has passed or whatever. She's now wearing clothes and sunglasses. She's indoors. She takes the sunglasses off. It's a traumatized. So yeah, so they can wear sunglasses and so she's trying to dim the world. Yeah. I mean, she takes them off pretty quickly, but that's fair. Um, they go into a different room. She's nervously looking around. There are two other doors in here. She checks behind them. Miss Honey is kind of indifferent, opens a window. Liz is watching her suspiciously.

Also, this is the first real, oh my God, this is the first real look we get at Thor and Butch's eyebrows, which are an abomination. 2001 was not a good year for eyebrows. They are wafer thin. Yeah. They're awful. Legit. Me, honestly, my life didn't start until I started drawing my eyebrows on. And that was only like seven years ago. I would not know you guys today if I hadn't started drawing my eyebrows on. It's like a fundamental thing of my philosophy is like all women should

look like Brooke Shields. All men should look like Eugene Levy. Like all I want is big eyebrows. They're extenuating circumstances. why I appreciate like visual methods of interpersonal communication. But like, they just suck. Her eyebrows suck. I have to get that out of my system. I hate it from the depths of my soul. Yeah. Anyway.

How do you feel about Mia Goth? Listen. Because it's kind of different. It's kind of different. And I say this with the greatest respect. I cannot be dealing with bleached eyebrows. To me, they are an affront to God. I don't think hers are bleached.

I think hers are like naturally just invisible. And I respect that. Doesn't matter for you. I don't like them. You're right though. It's very, it's like eyebrows convey a lot of expression. Wait, I read something and- Like dogs with eyebrows are great.

I love when you can see a dog's little eyebrows. But okay, wait, that's what I was just gonna say is that I feel like I just read that dogs developed like the muscles of eyebrows to be able to communicate with humans. I did no further research. It might not be true, but I accept that. And I will repeat it as like cats meow to talk to people. Well, what have we evolved? If the cats and dogs have taken the time to evolve,

what have humans done? We can bleach our eyebrows now. We have to draw them on. Or we have to draw them on. You can either make them more or less. My eyebrows are going away. They're, I mean, I like actually. It happens as you get older.

I have the same amount of hair, but I just, I put like eyebrow gel on them today. But they're turning blonde. They're turning blonde. They look amazing. Yeah, yeah. You all have great eyebrows. Oh, I think I dry mine.

I usually do too. Mine are not on right now, but I enhance because I'm in my home and in my own personal hole. I'm with you, Grace. I feel if there's only one thing I can do before leaving the house, it's eyebrows. Same, same. I don't leave the house without it. You guys. Oh, grace has never felt more at home. I kind

of think that everything that, everything that happens to Thor, but in this movie is kind of because how I brother she, yeah. And it's her fault. Yeah. I think that's right. I think that's right. Yeah. But she's a teen and we have to allow them. I don't know why it's surprising me so much that this movie is not happening chronologically. It's really surprising me that this movie is like going inologically. It's really surprising me that this movie is like going in reverse order. This movie will bounce. Yeah, it bounces around a lot.

I feel like we were really doing that in 2001. I don't know. I think that people were like, you could tell a movie out of order. Like, I don't know, maybe I'm- Memento. Yeah, it all feels like it's memento. It's just being like, whoa,

what if we mess with the structure a little bit? I feel like we were doing it a lot. And we had fun. And we had fun. So Liz tells Miss Honey, Thoroughburt is doing a British accent. She apparently kind of went undercover at a boarding school to see if she could, like, if her accent could pass, I guess, successfully. It's fine. It's not ideal. I was going to ask you because it doesn't seem great to me. And is M Beth Davis is also fake

Like I feel like both of them feel yeah, that's I think that's right because I feel like she just directed as South African kit food food I feel like That's not a great test of if it'll pass because how many kids are gonna be like, are you actually British? It's like it's if you're going to school and you're having, it's like, they might just be like, she talks kind of weird, but I guess like whatever. Yeah, right.

I would also like, if she came to my school, I'd be like staring at her feet the entire time, walk right up to her and be like, you with the kid in the hocus pocus? So Liz tells Miss Honey, don't put me on Prozac or lithium. Miss Honey doesn't react to this at all. And this tells her, I'm not crazy.

It's just my mom won't listen. And Miss Honey's like, I'll listen. If you trust me, if you work with me, I can help you feel better. So Liz like takes this in and then we cut to a different time. Liz is wearing a different outfit. Miss Honey's plan has worked. She's now, Liz is sitting down to be filmed by a video camera. Miss Honey sits down next to the camera opposite her and tells her, we'll do it at your speed.

You can stop any time. Liz doesn't respond. She's kind of gone a little bit catatonic again. Miss Honey powers through, they start a breathing exercise. It might sound really stupid, but let's just give it a bash. And then she follows her like deep breathing. And then we get some more like quick cuts between like the creepy death looking gargoyle. And then we see the, the school corridor again. And this time we're

like back in it. There's kids there. There's also a lot of monologues in this room. There's a lot of monologuing. Thorbert says, this is how it works at Braeborn. If you want to exist, you have to be pretty. You have to be thin. And then the beat drops. And then you see a pair of teen girl legs walking down the corridor. She has great posture and gay and long legs. And this pair of legs is then joined on either side by like two other pairs of legs. They're all wearing like black shoes, white socks, school skirt, and we pan up and it's Keira Knightley. This is Frankie. She's talking on a Nokia 3310. Nick Hamm, the director said that he wanted this to look like Clueless. And it's bonkers to me that this film was

released like six, only six years later than Clueless. Cause I think of them as being very far apart in time. Right. Yeah. So Kiera Knightley is walking down the corridor. The monologue continues that everyone else's wallpaper for years. I was nobody. I watched the world from the edges and learn not to dream. Uh, you see Keira Knightley, she's the popular girl. The teen boys are watching her walk past and wolf whistling and Liz continues her best friend Martin didn't care. His philosophy is take everything you can from them. Martin is, this is Daniel Brocklebank.

He's a, he has glasses, so he's a geeky looking guy. He walks away from a conversation with two or three other guys with like a handful of money, which he starts counting and then he hands off to another guy. Martin says use their greed against them. They're controllable and this makes him powerful. And then Thor Bush says, but then the world changed and Frankie is finished on the phone and she says, get ready girls. Mike Steel is single again. So the girl she's with are like, Oh my God. She goes off to continue spreading this news and we cut to a huge green field and there's a bunch of lads playing rugby. So this is Mike Steel. This is Desmond Harrington.

He has the most God awful Liam Gallagher mod haircut. It's, he looks, it's bad. He looks like shit. It's off the top. You think hair is bad for men in 2025, Emily? It sounds like hair is bad in 2012. I just think men are being weird with their hair right now. I just think they're being weird with it.

In what way? It's too far away from their heads. It's too far away from their head. It's too far away from their head. No, men should always be having fun with their appearance, but some men are making a choice where it's like, there's a big gap between their heads and their hair in a way that I'm confused by. Like it's going out.

I just think it's confusing. It's defined gravity. It's going out, but then it's also coming down. So it's like, there's just this space. Like a fountain. Like a fountain. Like Jimmy Neutron? It's just like, no, cause Jimmy's went up.

No, Jimmy's goes up and never comes down. Up and then down. Like those birds, you know those? They're like a fancy chicken. Right. You know those fancy chickens who have that hair that does that? It's kind of like that.

This is the opposite of that. This is all down. All down. I remember when the hair was all down. That was bad too. Kind of feather. This is all down. All down. I remember when the hair was all down. That was bad too. Kind of feathery, but just down. He is smoking on the side of the pitch.

So you know, he's cool. Liz says, this is Mike Steele. He's American, the son of a rock star. Liz is on the sidelines also watching him. She calls him the missing part of my soul. Back in the rugby game, a blonde guy like kicks a ball. Mike flicks his cigarette and then catches the ball and then everyone's chasing towards him. He throws the ball and does little showboating dance, but this blonde guy tackles him anyway. Liz

looks very concerned at this. Martin approaches Liz. He looks baller as hell. He's got a long black overcoat on. It's kind of matrix, like very thin little glasses and like long coats. And so Liz and Martin are standing watching this. Liz is watching Mike on the floor. He's still laying on the floor. The blonde guy gets up. Mike is still down. Liz is muttering like, please get up, please get up. Please be okay. The blonde guy is just like, Oh, sorry mate. Holds out his hand, pulls Mike to his feet. They make a little joke. Mike chuckles and then he punches him. So a little brawl breaks out between these guys. Liz and Martin are watching this. Martin tells her that it's a homoerotic thing.

The aggression on the field and then the steam and soaking in the showers after. Liz rolls her eyes, tell him that's disgusting. Disgusting. It's disgusting. Wouldn't it be 2001 with a little homophobia? Yeah. Oh, well, get ready. The ref breaks up this fight, sends Mike and this other guy off.

They walk off kind of embraced. This other guy is Jeff. This is the blonde guy. This is Lawrence Fox. So it's all up between these two, they're best friends. Martin says, maybe Jeff will be Mike's new bride. And Liz says, FYI, Martin, Mike's dating a supermodel called Amber. And Martin says, no, they've broken up. Liz thinks he's lying. Martin says, do you not notice how suddenly every girl is a blonde with cherry lip gloss? Everyone's trying to be Amber, Mike's ex-girlfriend. And then says like, thank God you haven't done that Liz. You're the last woman here with a brain and braeborn. Liz has only picked up on the fact that Mike is single now. She's like all smiles at this news and Martin's like, not you too. Like why does everyone

love this guy? And he shits and farts like the rest of us. Heed a woman's heart. Yep. Well, Liz says, I can't help it. It's an egg thing. Yeah. 2001. Don't know what to do with that.

It just, it's an egg thing. It's an egg thing. When she looks at the face of Mike, she sees the face of an angel, the soul of a poet. And Martin's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You love me. There hasn't been a day in the last five years that we haven't talked. You love me. And this is like, you're more like a gay friend than a boyfriend. And she walks away and Martin calls after

her, but I'm not gay. And a bunch of rugby boys jog pass and say, yeah, right. And Liz has a little laugh to herself. So homophobia, we got it. Yep. Check. So we cut to Mike. This is post-rugby. He's sitting down. He's wearing a t-shirt, shorts and a, I think a kimono, but it's the end of term. He's telling Jeff he's got some very grateful exes to call that. I think it's like, maybe this was like a Tuesday. The end of term is on Friday and then it's the Easter holidays. Jeff says, we've got to do this geography field trip first. And Mike's like, I'm not doing that. Jeff says your dad will have a shit fit. Mike says, I'm just going to lie low in a hotel for a couple of few days and then I'll fly back to LA on Friday. And Jeff is like, the tabloids are gagging for you.

He's like the son of a rock star. And now he's single. Like the tabloids are going to be after him. Mike hadn't considered this. So Jeff's like, you're coming to Wales camping with the rest of us, whether you like it or not. Jeff also doesn't want to go on this trip. And Mike's like, we have to, we have to ditch it. Jeff says that Frankie isn't going because she saw wellies on the kit list and nearly had a seizure. And Mike asked how she got out of it.

And Jeff says she spoke to Martin cut to a bedroom door opening. There's a very pink room, which is blasting some like 90s UK garage music. Frankie is lounging on her bed in like a pink robe. She's reading a magazine. Her two other friends are there, but they're both wearing blue. One has a cocktail shaker.

The other one is just like jumping up and down on a bed. The room is like, it's pink. It's got like torn out magazine posters, like lining the walls. It's very, I don't know how to describe it. It's just pink. It's Emily coded. Let's be honest. So Liz sticks her head in this door. She's got her head in a towel and she calls for Frankie and Frankie like summons her into the room and the other girls are like, what's she done this time? And this is like my hair, it's gone wrong. Frankie gives the slightest little smug. There's a lot of smirking in this film, but then it's like, all right, let me see. And the other

friend says to Frankie, what did your mobile give you a tumor? Which is, do you remember the time of like the fear that the cell phones are going to fry your brain? Yeah. Right. This was over that era. Frankie shuts that down with like, do you mind? My coursework doesn't write itself. Like I need to keep in good graces with this Thor a bunch with Liz. So we cut to another pink bathroom. Liz has her head over the sink. She's dyed her hair using peroxide from the lab. She's blonde now. Frankie's putting in a conditioner. It should be fine in 20 minutes. But Frankie's like, I don't mean to be rude, but like you're doing this for Mike

and I don't think you doing anything to yourself is gonna make any difference to him. Liz doesn't say anything to this. Frankie's just like, forget it. Like just forget about him. Trust me, he's not that wonderful. Frankie leaves, but Liz stops her and says, thank you. I know you don't have to be nice to me. And Frankie's like, don't worry about it. So the next day

we're in a hallway full of students. Liz is now blonde. She looks great. Her eyebrows are still shit. She stops in front of the mirror. She has like a hair band in, which then she takes out and she makes her little final adjustments and she enters the room where Mike and Jeff are talking to some other guys. And she basically like walks into Mike's sight line, just sort of waiting to be acknowledged. Oh no, I hate that. Here I am. Yep. She's like telegraphing her every move. He is not having any of it. He doesn't acknowledge her. He's laughing with the lads about something else. But there are other groups of blonde girls

that are kind of pointing and like laughing at like, it seems like they're kind of laughing at her cut to a drain. There's like red liquid rushing down it. She's dying her hair back to red. The blonde thing was a blip. So we cut to Martin sitting in front of two, he has two separate computers set up. Uh, he's doing some like gaming and some hacking. Uh, he has like his own sort of study, like a one person bedroom, and he has this little like camp bed next to his desk. Liz comes in and announces that her life has no meaning. Martin tells her to sit. She lies down on this rusty ass camp bed and whines about Mike not knowing that she exists.

Martin's like, I hate seeing you like this. He tries to tear her up with some chocolate. She tells him he doesn't understand. He's never been in love or had the pain. He's obviously like in love with her. Yeah. And then he gets very closer and says, I can help you. And we cut to like a spiral staircase and Jeff, Frankie and Mike are all waiting for Martin who is kind of lording over them a bit. He sits down and says, welcome to my office. Mike and Jeff are kind of holding a laughter at him and Martin tells him this is a need to know operation. Mike's just cut the bullshit. Can you do it or not? And Martin says, I can, the field trip, no parents, no paparazzi. I can do anything.

And they're like, great job done. And he says, but I am adding one to your number. So we see Liz packing a bag. It's like a dial-up modem sound. Martin's going through a list of names on a database of who's going on a field trip. And he deletes the four names, Frankie, Jeff, Mike, and Liz. Frankie's middle name is almond, which I don't know if like that to me feels like a kind of, because it is based on a book and I haven't read the book, but it kind of, from the way it's described, it feels more like he, like this guy left school and wrote it with a kind of like a little bit of a vendetta against like the popular girls.

Yes, I read that. I read that he wrote it when he was 18. He read, he wrote it, you're sorry. He wrote it like, yeah, immediately after high school. So it feels, I don't know. I don't know if that's a relic from that. Almond, I guess. Yeah. But there's like, it's a nod to something, but none of the rest of them have middle names. That's just a little throwaway thing. In another voiceover, Liz says,

the Martin knows the school and the parents have always believed each other. The school thinks they're going home. The parents think they're going on the field trip. They can do whatever they want. So we're in the woods. Frankie, Mike and Jeff are waiting with Martin. Jeff has a rucksack, Frankie has a blue wheelie suitcase, Mike has a blanket. Liz approaches from the trees. She's wearing an enormous rucksack with like pots and pans and a gas burner hanging off it. Liz approaches from the trees. She's wearing an enormous rucksack with like pots and pans and a gas burner hanging off it. She is clattering up a storm. Very silly. So she's probably going to come in handy. Yeah. I was going to say she's prepared for maybe trapped for 18 days. But some behind the scenes, the director and Thor Birch both found it very funny and they

kept putting more stuff on the back of the bag to just make it. I mean, that's loud. They had some fun. Mike and Jeff laughing at the bag cause she looks ridiculous. They asked if she just got back from the Himalayas. She's wearing a utility vest. Martin gives her some shit for being late. He asked if anyone saw her. She says no. And then he formally introduces her. She knows Frankie. He introduces her to Jeff and Mike. So then they're all just standing in the woods. Jeff's like, okay, there's nothing here. And then Martin starts being insufferably smug and cryptic about how we can't see the woods for the trees. It's right here. Can't you see it? And Mike's like, you have 10 seconds to become interesting or like we're going to kick your ass. Martin says it's right beneath your feet

and he pulls out a bunch of keys and then he approaches this big, like it's kind of like a hobbit hole looking door. Like it's a big old disc, a full on hatch. And it's got like a small rectangular window kind of in the middle of it. He unlocks it and there's a shot from inside. I think it's in the trailer from the hole, like looking out and you see the four of them in silhouettes and the sun's behind them. It's a great shot. And it was totally by accident. Um, but they're all very excited by the whole, like saying how cool it is. I cannot stress. It is not cool. The whole sucks, but they're all like, Oh my God, this is amazing. Again, I feel like I would have been excited by the whole.

I'm sorry. I just, this kind of thing was- You've experienced less, so the bar is lower. Yeah, and this is like kind of, this is kind of exactly the sort of thing I would have been very into in high school of just like, whoa, a place where our parents can't find us. Like we can do whatever we want in a hole, a semi furnished hole.

And they keep talking shit on whales too. They're like, well, it can't be any worse than whales. Like, I want to go to Wales. Really takes some shots on this. So Martin says this is the escape hatch for an old war bunker. Jeff asked Martin where he got the key. He's like, wouldn't you like to know?

Mike's just straight up like, he's so weird, dude. Frankie asked will he have to close it? And they all kind of look at her like she's an idiot. And she's like, I need fresh air to keep my skin clear. Jeff pays Martin off. He puts on a head torch. He's going in the hole. He's very excited.

Martin tells him the power's on the left. To get in, they have to climb down a head torch. He's going in the hole. He's very excited. Martin tells him the powers on the left to get in. They have to climb down a metal ladder and then there's like a landing platform. And then there's like a short ladder in a cage and a chain ladder from that, that goes down to the main floor. It's like a fire escape. Yeah. Very rusty, filthy, disgusting. The hole is nasty.

Mike tells Martin it looks like a tomb. I'm not going in there. And Martin doesn't say anything, but kind of looks at him like, well, you'll be in a bitch. Mike's like, I don't care what you think. And then he turns to see Frankie, like also looking at him like he's a bitch and he clearly cares what she thinks.

Cause now he's like, all right, I'm getting in the hole. Peer pressured into the hole. It works. So Frankie getting in the hole. Peer pressured into the hole. It works. So Frankie gets in there too. Liz has a moment outside with Martin. He tells her to enjoy the Mike Steele experience. She says, do you think he'll fall in love with me? And he says, just be careful.

She gets in the hole. They say goodbye to Martin and he closes the door. It's immediately pitch black, save for like the window light. And they're like head torches. So Frankie's screaming to like, turn the lights on, turn the lights on. Lights come on, fluorescent overhead lights. And they're all hype, like, would you look at this? This is amazing. They immediately set to party in. There's music playing, Jeff and Micah playing, flashlight tag. This was a real moment for me of like,

oh, I've definitely been Liz. I feel so much like the Liz of this group. There's like Jeff and Micah playing flashlight tag and Liz is just sort of like limply following around, like kind of smiling and like having fun, but just like there's no place for her here. It's a very sort of, it felt very real to me. And like, ah, and Jeff's kind of like, you're in the way.

And she's just sort of like, like, she's like, there's so many places to go in the hall. Like, where am I supposed to go in the hall? So Liz has like a two person sleeping bag, which she rolls out onto a pallet. Frankie has a pink inflatable sofa, which she is pumping up. She also has like, it's an inflatable pillow filled with like pink feathers. Liz has a little gas burner. Jeff comes over and asks if he can boil some water for his pasta. And she seems kind of like taking it back that he's even talking to her and just like, Oh, would you like to go first? And he's like, yeah.

And then Mike walks past and she's like fixing her hair a little. Jeff comes back with his pasta and asks if she has a pan, which she obviously does. She gives him that. And then Mike comes over and starts giving Jeff shit about his pasta. And Jeff's like, well, what are you going to eat? And Mike's like, I'm not hungry. And Jeff says, well, you're going to have to eat. We're here for three days. And he's like, I didn't bring anything. I bought gum, slipped my mind. Jeff is about to go off on Mike and how he's a moron. Can't be trusted. Liz interrupts and is like, I have food, sausages, beans, noodles, plenty for everybody.

Just actually want, she says sausages in a way that I, sausages, sausages, sausages. Mike's like, you have sausages. She holds up a pack. He says, have you got ketchup? She's got ketchup. And Mike says to Jeff, like, you enjoy your pasta. I'm having sausages. And he sits down on the edge of the bed. He links his arm and Liz's and he says, with Liz, he looks at her and they're both very happy. They offer food to Frankie who says, no thanks. I'm on a diet. I've got fiber pills to stop me feeling hungry. The others are like cool. Cool. So it's nighttime. Probably

it's kind of hard to tell time in the hole, but the place is lit with candles and they're sitting around the middle of the pit, this octagonal pit in the middle of the room. Their legs are dangling off. They're telling scary stories. Frankie tells a story that's like a well-known urban legends and they're all like interrupting and generally giving a shit for trying to pass off this story as a real thing that happened to her. They're trading scary stories and then Jeff says, all right, I've got one for you. It'll make you cack your pants, which Mike slaps that in a very genuine way. It made me laugh. But then suggest scary story is something happens to Martin and he doesn't come back

for us. That's it. That's the tweet. Mike says, don't be stupid. Frankie says, that's sick. Like you shouldn't say that. You'll jinx us. And Jeff's like, how tempting fate isn't real.

Frankie in desperation turns to Liz. Liz says, I'm a scientist. I don't turns to Liz. Liz says, I'm a scientist. I don't believe in fate. Mike says, I'm a Scientologist. I'm with Liz. Frankie's like, fine. But if anything happens to mine, it's Jeff's fault. So Jeff is having the time of his life.

Everyone agreed with him. He's like chanting. He's having a great time. And we hear Miss Honey saying, Liz, Liz. And we're back in the hospital in the psychiatric facility. Miss Honey has had enough of her bullshit kind of, and is like, what happened on the third day?

Let's come on. And Liz is like, you don't want to know what we did. This is what the kids should have done in how I met your mother of just like enough detail. Get to the fucking point. Get to the fucking point. What happened on the third day? Martin was supposed to let you out.

He didn't. And this is like, I don't know. I don't know what happened. And Miss Huddy brings her back to the moment. So it's the third day. They're packed and ready to go. They're standing at the hole looking up at the door. There's no Martin. The field trip is meant to be back in 30 minutes. So after that, they're going to know. Mike has a driver waiting for him to take him to the airport. He's pissed. Frankie is catastrophizing, wondering if Martin's been hit by a bus, what if he's in a coma, what if he's dead? Mike says he's not dead, give me your phone, I'll call him. There's no signal, they all try their phones, they try up by the door, no signal.

Frankie is yelling at Jeff about how this is his fault, he never should have said anything. Mike is preaching calm, Jeff says he's not worried, and then it hard cuts to a montage of them all screaming and bashing on the door, yelling for help, yelling at each other. Mike and Jeff are getting kind of chippy. Frankie's crying. Things are bad in the hole. Why can't they not get out of the hole? Sorry. This just seems like, I know, but like, why is that? Why did they agree to go into a hole that the door would lock behind them? Sorry. I'm just, I'm just so frustrated. I don't think they knew it was going to be locked. They knew it was going to be closed. Yeah, that's true. Okay.

Well, maybe, maybe they do know it was going to be locked because they knew that he has to let them out. So anyways, they're teens. They don't think anything bad is ever going to happen. They don't want anybody to find them. Right, right, right. So lock them in. Until they want to be. Of course. Released. Yeah. Because someone in the woods might just stumble upon this hole and open it and then they're like, hey, sorry, we're actually hiding down here.

You'd be like, I bet your teens are supposed to be somewhere else. You're supposed to be in Wales. I know where you're supposed to be. So that night, probably, Liz is lying in bed looking at the hatch door, a shadow passes over it. She holds up her torch to the door, but whatever she saw is gone. And she shines the torch on Mike who is like asleep with his back to her on, he's on the little bunk bed with a mattress and she sighs with longing and then like turns the torch off and the focus shifts

to Mike and we see that he was awake and just knows that she like shone the torch on him and then slide. The next day Mike says they haven't found us. They know we never went to Wales. As far as they know, we have a three day headstart. So they could be covering a three day radius of the school, which is basically the whole world. These affluent teens could be anywhere. Frankie's like, so what do we do? Mike says nothing. We're being held ransom by Martin. There's nothing for us to do. Frankie's like, why would he do this to us with his friends? Everyone else is pretty quick to point out like, no, you're not. Don't know a thing about him. This says he has no morals, no ethics. Everything is a game to him. Mike says we're trapped because he wants us trapped. And Frankie asks why. And then

we're back with miss honey. And Liz tells her that Martin never came back. So I have to give another sidebar. Sorry. We meet a police detective that I will be calling Carrot in, in the, some point in like the late nineties, my dad got his tickets to, we went as a family to see a production of Terry Pratchett's, a Terry Pratchett play. And there was a soldier sort of like a Centurion looking character in it. This is actor Stephen Waddington. His character was called carrot. During the interval, uh, my mom asked

us like, so like, who you've been joining, like, who do you think is good? And we were all me and my sisters are all like, we really like carrot, like carrot rocks. And this woman is sitting behind us, taps us on the shoulder and goes, that's my son. So we're like, Oh my God, Like no way. It's your son. He comes back on stage and we're turning around like, Hey, so this man ever since he's carrot, he'll be carrot. He will be carrot. He and miss honey are in a police station. They're walking past a big board, which is laid out with pictures of the core four and carrots telling miss honey, like you cracked it. I knew you would. And we cut to a news reporter outside the police station saying that the police have

arrested a pupil from the school. He was on holiday with his family in the Dominican Republic when he was arrested. Martin has been arrested. Miss Honey is telling a room full of police that she's put together a rough like sort of character sketch about Martin. Locking the children in shows a sociopathic personality. He doesn't think what he's done is wrong. He thinks he's above the law. He thinks he's above the law.

He thinks he's better than us. By now, he's probably created a very strong alibi. And the longer he has to think about it, the harder this alibi is going to be to unravel. So if they want a confession, they have to act quickly. Back in the psychiatric hospital, Miss Honey is setting up the camera again. And Liz asks her, when they arrest Martin, will they put him in a cell?

And she says, I presume so. And Liz says Liz says good let's see how he likes it. Liz sits down in front of the camera again and she's ready to go she tells Miss Honey like okay let's start and Miss Honey's like hang on just setting up the camera still and then hits record so we're back in the hole we see the dirty sausage pan is getting nasty it's getting nasty in the hole. Liz is lying in bed awake and she sits up with the torch again. She looks around, she sees Frankie asleep looking like very delicately posed. And then she looks at Jeff who is asleep on his back with his head like hanging off the end of the bed. So his head is almost upside down. It looks really extremely uncomfortable. Yeah. And then she looks over at Mike, who is awake and is staring at her.

She asked, can we talk? And he says, sure. So he comes over to her bed. He gets in the double sleeping bag with her. Yes. So what's up? And she says, I think mine's watching us. She saw the shadow go past and it could be wrong, but she thinks that it's Martin checking up on them.

She thinks she knows what Martin's doing. He wants her to see that it's stupid for her to like Mike when she doesn't even know him. His plan is to make her hate Mike. They're stuck down here because he's wrong and he hates being wrong. So Mike's like, wait, you knew this would happen? She's like, no, no, no, of course not. But it's the only explanation. And Mike's like, but you like me.

And she's like, yeah, sorry. And he's like, don't worry about it. And then there's a long pause. And then Mike's like, but how does he know you don't hate me? Like how could Martin have worked that out from a split second, like lurking at the doorway? So they pick up the torch and they go looking around. Liz follows Mike as he goes over to this kind of like old wireless system on the wall and he pulls off this panel. There's a hidden microphone. So then they go around the room. They look in all these little vents and stuff and Martin has had bugged the whole place. They flip the lights on, which wake up Frankie and Jeff. And then they're very quickly like shh and they explain the discovery. So they have a

plan the next day. The four of them are standing in a circle around the room. Liz holds up a cue card that says Frankie sick and. And Frankie makes a throwing up noise and she pours a plastic bottle of water into a saucepan to mimic the noise of being sick. Liz loudly projects that she's really worried about Frankie, she needs a doctor. Mike says, obviously I thought you were supposed to be smart. Liz holds up a sign that says toilet.

Jeff's like, oh, I think it's the dirty toilet water that's making her ill. They're not doing a good job at acting, but it's, it's fine. Liz says, it's not my fault. Jeff's like, yes, it is. Mike says, this is shit. This is the worst time I've ever had. Liz says, it's not that bad. Then she holds up a sign again that says toilet. And Mike says, things are very bad. Am I the only one that can smell the toilet? She's held up the wrong sign. And then she holds up a sign saying, everyone blame Liz.

So Mike says, it's all Liz's fault. Mine's your best friend. We never should have come down here. As soon as I saw you fucking geeky little fucking bitch, I should have turned the other fucking way. Wow, too real. This style of talking is something that I also use swearing as like filler words.

Yeah, yeah. It felt very real to me that he's just like fucking bitch. Mike tells her to stay the fuck away from him. You fucking loser. Frankie is still pretending to be sick. And then Liz is like, well, Mike, you're not so great yourself. You know, you're full of shit. You're just a face and hair. Mike says, oh, shut up, you fucking cumbag. Just something from behind the scenes. The original name was cumbucket, but that would have changed the rating classification.

Like it would have bumped it up to like NC 17 or whatever. So cumbag is okay. Like it would have bumped it up to like NC 17 or whatever. So come back is okay. Wow. That's so much better. That is the thing that puts it over the edge is yeah. Bag or bucket. Yeah.

And a bag could be any size. Exactly. You don't know. It could be tiny. Yeah. Small bag. Right. A small bag is implied by that.

Wow. That's what to work at the freaking ratings. Like who is making those decisions? This is a step too far. A bucket, I don't think so. Anyway, they're all gleeful. They're all very happy with themselves. They nailed it and they all gather around

and stare up at the whole door. And you hear Liz's voice over again, saying we waited and waited, nothing happened, but it worked. The next morning, Mike woke me up and the door was open. We were so happy. And we see them climbing out of the hall, smiles on their faces, so pleased to be back outside.

And we held each other, we won. What Martin didn't realize is that I'd even won Mike. And this monologue continues, and we're back with Miss Honey listening to all of this, and Liz says that Mike gave her a big hug and said, you saved us, you saved us all. And here we are, end of story. Liz is all smiles, but back on the sofa

in the psychiatric place, she's a total piece. Miss Honey's like, okay, well done. Thank you. Good job. Liz feels lighter. She says she like last night, she even closed the door all the way and didn't panic. And Miss Honey's like, excellent. You've made a lot of progress. We've got a lot of

work to do, but a great job. She goes outside. She calls Carrot and she says she thinks she spent the last week in Disneyland. I didn't think it would take so long. And Carrot's like, no problem. I'll get a confession out of mine easily. How delusional can Liz be? And we see Miss Honey looking up at Liz's window and Liz is like, give a little like stepford wife wave. So back at the police station, Martin is in an interrogation room. He's sitting across from a woman that I will call blonde cop. Yep. There's a woman sitting next to him that I think is his lawyer, but could easily be his mother. Either way, this woman does a bad job because she doesn't say anything and she really should. She needs to stop Martin from talking, but she does not. So Martin is doing another one of his like sort of big superior speeches. He supposes they've got fingerprints then or DNA or CCTV

or stack of witnesses. And do you even have a motive? A reason I'd like to lock up a bunch of socialites and throw away the key, however tempting that might be. He's not helping himself. Right. The blonde cop asks him, so what did you do on the last day of term? And he turns to the woman next to him and is like, is she thick? Is she deaf? Can she keep asking the same question? And then this woman whispers something in his ear. and then he calms down and walks them through his usual routine he got up at 7 a.m. he cleaned his teeth he had a shit as usual he was down for breakfast at 720 a.m. as usual he had two slices of toast he's talking through his day in great detail punctuating it with several like as usuals and the blonde cop is like

Martin we know why you did it we know why you did it. We know how you did it. We know the whole fucking lot. Liz told us everything. And finally, Martin is lost for words. This news hits him like a truck and he's kind of laughing to himself in disbelief. He does a really good job wrestling with this news. And he says, I knew she was fucked in the head, but I didn't realize she was this vicious. You know, Liz hates me. You do know that, don't you? And this scene is kind of rudely interrupted by a scene of Miss Honey taking Liz back to her mom's house. She's done with the facility.

She can get back to her house in her own bed. She can call at any time and Miss Honey will take her back. But Liz sees her mom come out of the house and she tells Miss Honey she has to go back to the real world. You said you saw yourself back with Martin. He's vexed. His glasses are off. He tells the blonde cop, you throw yourself back with Martin. He's vexed. His glasses are off. He tells the blonde cop, you really don't know anything. Do you listen? Frankie?

You're actually the prototypical best friend combination of unusually and it's seemingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe and blunt. Blonde cup says, are you sure? And mine's like, they're practically the same person. They're thick as thieves. They're boring. They're vain, shallow enough to paddle in. But Liz is the really nasty one. Then he gets a monologue. This is how it is at

Braeburn. If you want to exist, you either have to be a bitch or a complete slut. We see Frankie in her pink dorm bedroom again, back on a Nokia 3310. Liz is sitting on the windowsill, drinking right there with her, smoking out the window. The two lesser friends are sat on the bench outside also smoking. Frankie hangs up the phone and she's like, Amber dumped Mike half an hour ago. This is all fuck. And then they're like buzzing around the room. They're so excited. Frankie's like, this is your big chance. This is like, oh my God, I'm gonna be sick. And Frankie's like, you need to move quick or you'll be auditioning with every slut from London up. This is like, I don't just want him. I really want him.

And then tells her, I've got a plan. We'll go to the beach again, like last year, but this time they camp her out for a few days, the sea air, stars. And Frankie's like, I hate beaches. I want a hole. Yeah. Does not want to be on the beach because of the sand. Nowhere to pee apart from the ocean. She's allergic to the sun. We all know it. We've all been there. Yep. As this Frankie's saying all this Liz is looking out the window and sees Martin awkwardly waving her and Liz has another idea. She says, remember that place we found and said it would be great for a party. And Frankie's like, Oh, that S and M dungeon that Martin tried to take you to and lives last and says, precisely, what if we did that? I'll ask my E bring Jeff and

we'll have a private party at the end of term. Just the core four in the hole. Now Frankie is walking to the through the boys locker room. Lads are all in various states. There are fully nude guys who watch her walk past. There's some like, Oh, Frankie. And she's like flipping them off as she goes. It does mirror the original scene of her walking down the corridor, except they're nude this time. She enters the showers where Lawrence Fox is with three other guys. He chases them away. She's there for him. He's fully new during this. This is like full frontal. And Lawrence Fox said that this was like, this is his first acting role. And he was like right out the gate, just full frontal in front of Keira Knightley.

Who again is 15. A child. Who again is 15. A child. He's in his twenties. Don't worry about it. So she says, this is the line from the trailer. How do you like to come to the best private party of your life? She gets really close to him and she says, it's you, me, Mike and Liz. And he says, Mike never mentioned this. And she's like, well, that's cause you're inviting him. And he's

like, I don't know. And she's like, it's three days. Absolutely extracurricular. Parents don't know. School doesn't know. We can do our own thing. They're lips are inches from each other. But then she says, if you're too pussy, then I'll ask someone else. And he agrees and says, you'll have a word with Mike. And then he says, is there anything else? And they leave them for a kiss again. And then she swears and says, put your knob away. Well handled. Except like he's in the shower. So it's, yeah, it's kind of place where it's supposed to be. Yeah. She should leave. I think she should. Jeff rushes to tell Mike, tells him this is going to be great. This is 10 out of 10. And Mike's like, Frankie and Liz, real 10 out of 10.

Jeff says, see what you're going to go home to an empty house and fuck the maid all Easter again. And Mike says, you haven't seen the maid. Jeff tries a different tack and tells him that Amber won't know where he is. He'll be like fully off the mat. Won't be able to find him. We'll assume he's having a more exciting time with more famous people. Mike is sold. So Martin wraps up this monologue with the police about superiority and blah blah blah. And then Carrot is like, what time did you lock them in the hole? Cause I know you did it. And Martin is flipped being like, how dare you be this wrong? And this fucking pig headed, how do you know it was me? I'm just dying to know. And Carrot kind of smirks, but then his face falls because

they have no proof. There's no proof of this mine. He calls Miss Honey and says that one of them is lying. Why am I waiting for a confession from Martin when Liz can just tell us what we need to know? And Miss Honey is like, if you push her, she's going to go back to her stony silence. And Carrot's like, in 12 hours, Martin walks like, and Miss honey says, if you say one word to her, we'll fucking kill you. Just let me go and talk to her. And also like very conspicuously, we're not seeing Mike or Frankie, right? Please hold all questions until the end. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm just going to point that out. Okay. So we're back with miss honey and Liz in like a public, very like metallic looking cafe.

And Liz asked Miss Honey if Martin's going to get away with it. Miss Honey says, no, don't think like that. And then she asked her if she, if Martin kept like a diary or a journal or if any sort of secret hiding place. And Liz doesn't know, doesn't know about any of this. And then asked why and Miss Honey kind of pauses and there's like, you're going to let him out. And Miss Honey's like, it's not my decision. And Liz starts freaking out, screaming that he's going to come after her. Why can't you say you'd keep me safe?

I trusted you. I told you everything. Miss Honey's trying to deescalate and Liz just takes off. She's walking through an underpass, kind of mumbling to herself. And we have a jump scare, which did get me. A man in a hoodie walks past her and it has Mike's face. And she's immediately like rattled kind of panic attack. Um, she's back at her house and she's kind of calm again. She's smoking off

a balcony. She smokes a lot in this film. She's lying on a bed, leafing through magazines and she picks up the Braeborn school yearbook and she starts looking through it and she hears echoes of Martin saying, I can help you. And we see a quick cut of Martin opening the whole door for Liz, Liz kind of looking in and nodding, telling him nice one. And then we're back at looking at Mike's picture in the yearbook and she hears an echo of Martin saying, you don't want to be found, do you?

Hard cut two, we're in the hole, the call for a partying. Jeff has these two like crazy long spliffs hanging out of his mouth. He's wheeling in a trolley full of alcohol. They're drinking, smoking, screaming. They're taking pills. The whole is sick.

They're having a great time in the hole. Back to Liz reading the yearbook. She's trying to shake off this memory, but there's more back in the hole. Faithless is playing insomnia by faces playing. Frankie and Liz are up on the kind of mezzanine level dancing. Mike and Jeff are like vibing down below. And then they're all hanging out on the same level. Jeff is watching Frankie and Mike slides up behind Frankie and is like, so who do you

want first? Liz is not happy about this. And Frankie is very quick to be like, what are you talking about? I'm just dancing. Jeff's like wrong approach mate kisses her hand and tells he's got something for her and leads her over to this bunk bed. This is like pacing and just sort of like very frustrated just watching this happen. Frankie tries to back up, but Mike is standing right behind her. He asks, is there sex or not? Oh, and then Frankie glances at Liz and

says not. And then adds, especially not with you. She dances away and then says, and especially not in here. Have you seen how dirty it is? And then she adds, why would there be sex? What have you done for me? And she's dancing the whole time and there's no music playing. It's so funny. It's just like a little dance with no music. The music like starts very loud and then basically turns off and she's just like dancing really big. What have you done for me? Yeah. The boys have no answer. Frankie's like, I didn't think so. And then Mike tries again using the blue balls.

You have to. Oh yeah. Like it's going to be really dangerous for me to have to. So dangerous. So dangerous. My balls hurt so much. You have to fuck me. Mike sort of pushes her onto the bed and onto Jess lap.

And then Frankie is giggling. So you know know it's all good and consensual. They look at each other and she doesn't stop him, and then they start making out. Oh, it's really tough. This is a 15-year-old and a 220-year-old. Right. I don't like it. Jeff and Frankie are kind of escalating,

and Mike's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me get in there. He goes up the top end, like where their heads are, and starts like holding her arms down. No. It's unpleasant. Yep. Jeff starts to like take off her jeans. Jeff says he's wanted this for the past four years. And Mike says, I've had this. It's okay. Oh, yuck. Yuck.

Yeah. Jeff's like seven, eight out of 10. And Mike's like four. Frankie pushes him away. Like it's all banter. And Liz is like, Frankie. And Frankie's like, we were 13. It was a one night stand. It wasn't exactly memorable. Mike tells her it was a long time ago and I'm better now. Jeff is still like wrestling with her jeans. There's a definite like threesome vibe going on. They're all kind of vibing. Liz walks up, grabs Mike in the head and slams it into the wall behind him. Jesus. Okay. The vibe is done. Okay. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Kind of laughs it off, but is like calling her a

nut job. Frankie is cheering for Liz, thanking her for defending her honor. But Liz is like sulking and walks away. The moment is over. Frankie declares no more free feels, pulls her jeans up. Jeff says, Jeff says, you must be joking. What am I going to do with the old man? Frankie says, suck it off big boy and walks away. So the old man is his penis. This is dick. Yeah, got it.

She then pauses at a gap where only Mike can see her not Jeff and she flashes her tits at him. And Mike's like, whoa, 10 out of 10. And Jeff's like, what did she do? I didn't see. And Frankie like smirks and walks away. Again, she is 15. So this is the rule. And you tell me if it sounds like this is from an island that's like institutions are

riddled with Peter falls. She's allowed to show her breasts as long as it's a non-sexual scene and there is a parent present. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Yeah.

So she, they couldn't have shown her tits while they're like groping her. But after the fact and she flashes them, it's non-sexual. Disagree. Yeah. So one of her parents was there? Her mom was there. Yeah. Okay.

It's fine if your mom's there. Guys, that's the rule. It's not illegal or wrong if your mom's there. That's still the rule or is that a... It's there. Guys, that's the rule. It's not illegal or wrong if your mom's there. That's still the rule or is that a bad? A mom could never be wrong about. I hate this. I mean, I've said it once, I'll say it a million times,

child acting should be illegal. Yeah, well this part of it for sure. This part for sure. This part. This should be pretty uncontroversial. Illegal. Yikes. Hate that.

So. Yeah. So it's nighttime. Frankie has a big like camp light next to her bed and the others are telling her to turn it off. It's bedtime. The whole has suddenly got very like organized. It's bedtime.

They want the lights out. And at some point in the night, Jeff creeps over to her bed and startles her awake. Startles everyone awake because Frankie screams. Jeff's like, it's just me. They get to fucking. Time to fuck. Yeah. Mike is like, can we get some sleep please? Like he's pissed. Liz turns a light on just to be like, what's going on, which seems counterproductive because it's like, you know,

what's going on because you can already hear them. Like they're definitely hooking up. Liz then makes eye contact with Mike and like opens her double sleeping bag, kind of eh, offering it to him. He looks disgusted and tells her to turn the light off. It's a big swing and a miss from Liz. Oh, this is a bad time. This is a bad time for everyone. It's not a good time in the whole. She turns the light off and then they're just listening to Frankie and Jeff have sex. Liz throws the yearbook across the room. We're back in real time and she smashes a bunch of other stuff. She's pissed again. You hear a voice over from Carrot saying that she must have spent days picking the lock, but she did it. She beat him and I'll beat him too. This little shit of a schoolboy. And we're at the police station. We see Martin getting into a regular car.

The 12 hours up, he is free to go. Carrot tells Miss Honey that he had a website with like anarchist stuff and you know, disrupting and like the stock market and stuff. Hell yeah. Carrot hates Martin. He's determined to end Martin. And Miss Honey's like, I don't think Martin's angry enough to have done this. Miss Honey meets with a forensics lady. They're meeting at the school and they're going to walk to the hole. And Ms. Honey tells her, I'm not good with small spaces. And the forensics lady is like, neither am I, but that'll be the least of your worries once you get down there.

Back to Liz. She's watching TV and smoking again. A news report says that the prime suspect has been released without charge. She walks into a different room and has another flashback. So we're back in the hole. Frankie's telling Mike, you can't leave. The trip doesn't end for another two days. Mike is packing his bag. He is done. Jeff is like, you said you'd do this. You're gonna fuck things up for the rest of us. Frankie and Liz are having a very frantic, whispered conversation and Frankie bounds over to Mike and is just like, please don't go. Just please don't go.

You're ruining everything. Mike says, I'm not staying down here and listening to you two fuck each other's brains out all weekend. Also, Frankie and Jeff are wearing each other's clothes. Jeff has like her pink robe on underneath his blazer. It's nice. She's wearing like his shirt and then Liz declares she's also leaving. So she and Mike meet at the bottom of the ladder and she asked if he's going straight home. Maybe they could start to get a pizza. She's starving. Oh, Liz, hon. He's like, no, thank you. And then she's like, Oh, come on trains go to London all the time. And he's quietly like, I know, but listen, I'm going to go and see Amber, see if I can

patch things up. And this is like, Amber, she humiliated you. He's like, what the fuck? Like, who the fuck are you? How would you know anything about that? He starts climbing the ladder, but he comes back because Jeff points out he forgot his weed. So Liz goes up the ladder and Frankie and Jeff

are still trying to convince Mike to stay and he's still saying no. Liz starts banging on the door saying something's wrong. She can't open it. Mike asks her to move out the way. He also can't open it. The handle stuck. It won't buzz.

Liz comes down. Jeff goes up giving Mike shit about how weak he is. He also can't open it. Mike asked who the last one down is. And Jeff says it was Liz. This says it's a heavy door and it slammed itself, which does seem true. The door won't open. Liz says she's sorry.

Mike is pissed. He's like, you're sorry. You're fucking sorry. That's great. Jeff says he's going to be in so much shit when his parents find out. Frankie then realizes that her parents are also going to be in shit. She's like, that's a great point. They all round on Liz. Liz is upset. She's taken the brunt of it. And we get some very stressful cellos and Liz is sulking in the bathroom watching as the other three try and come up with something to open the door with some way to get out.

Back in the present day, Liz hears these echoes of Mike screaming, you fucking bitch and sees Mike like walk behind her in there's like a mirror opposite her. She sees Mike walk behind it. It's a like another moment in the underpass where it was just a brief thing of like Mike is on her mind. Cut to Miss Honey. She is stumbling out of the hole. She is shaking like a leaf and the forensics lady says it's a nightmare. It's going to take like six months to get through all

their hair and fiber they found. Oh, yuck. Miss honey says, what about the listening devices? And the forensics lady, like the kids probably mistook air vents for microphones, their lack of food and water. Like it would have made them confused and paranoid. Miss Honey says, do you have anything to tie Martin to the scene? And she says, not yet, but he'll have left something somewhere. Back at Liz's house, she sees her mom after mom is getting in the car and going somewhere. We don't, she, her mom is like almost present in several scenes, but like we never- I didn't shoot her mom is like almost present in several scenes, but like we never I didn't notice her Yeah, she's basically not there. Yeah, but her mom is leaving and then Liz goes into the kitchen

She's puttering about she picks up a biscuit jar. She takes out a cookie. She takes out a biscuit She walks to another room and because Thor a bunch didn't want to eat the biscuit She smells the biscuit puts it back in the jar. Oh no. Bang, bang, bang, bang! There's banging at the front door. It's Martin. He's screaming for her to open it.

She runs out the back door. She's running down this like enormous sort of rolling lawn through a woods to like a reservoir with a dam. There's like a long bridge going across this flowing water dam. Martin's chasing her all the way and he grabs her and he's screaming like, how could you do this to me? She says they let you go. Like I knew they would have to let you go.

They don't have any evidence. He says they won't leave him alone. They've tapped his phone. They want him for the whole thing. And she's like, they can't prove anything. If they could have, they would have. Cut to Liz Honey arriving at Liz's house. The back door is open and she goes in, she

finds the smashed biscuit jar and she can hear crying so she carries on upstairs and finds Liz sitting on her bed, she's hugging her knees wrapped in a blanket, she's rocking back and forth and she's just crying and crying. And Miss Honey asks what happened, sits on the edge of her bed and lives, dives at her for a hug and says, you've got to get me out of here please, I don't feel safe. And Miss Honey calms her down. And then we see Miss Honey's car going down the driveway, passing Liz's mom's car, coming back towards the house. They pull over. Liz is in tears and Miss Honey's like, I will help you, but you need to stop playing games. We need to know what happened. All that

matters is knowing the truth. And Liz is crying, tells her I want to know the truth too. And then she says, I want to go back to the hole. And Miss Honey is like, no, immediately. No, absolutely not. No way. We're not going back to the hole. And this says she keeps seeing like glimpses of what happened, but when she tries to remember, she can't, she doesn't know what happened. She's really crying. And she's like, I just want to remember. Miss Honey's like, would you like to be readmitted? We can work through this. And Liz says, no, I have to go back to the hole. Back at the police station, the blonde cop has news. She tells Carrot that Liz's mom just called and said that Miss Honey has kidnapped Liz

and she's going to go to the press or the police complaints commission and let everyone know if they don't go and find her. So Carrot's like, fine, I'll go and find her. And the blonde cop's like, do you want the rest? It's about Martin Taylor. And we're back in the hole. So this is with Miss Honey and Liz. She gets in there and she's like slowly looking around the room saying it looks different. Miss Honey is visibly sick of her shit. Like she is arms crossed waiting at the bottom of the ladder, just like, what are we doing in here? And we cut back to Jeff telling Mike that he forgot his weed.

And Liz looks up at the closed door, she climbs up the ladder and she locks it with the key. Yeah. Yeah. And Liz tells Miss Honey, we weren't locked in from the outside. And their cellos come back and Frankie is screaming about how much trouble she's going to be in. And Liz wasn't just sulking in the bathroom as the others are fighting. She uses the opportunity to hide the key in

her shoe. And she asked Miss Honey, what can I do? I couldn't let him leave. So back in the hall, Mike is carving a fifth tally mark on one of the walls. Jeff enters the room and says, guys, the water's gone off. So they gather up all the remaining water and then there's kind of two like mostly full one liter plastic bottles and then like a whiskey bottles worth of kind of nasty looking water. Like it's kind of green. It's all they've got. And Frankie, Liz and Mike are sitting and watching Jeff,

who explains the process of dehydration. You start feeling thirsty and impatient and maybe sick. Your pulse starts going up, headaches, dizziness. I don't like it. I don't want to know. I feel like the second I hear the word thirsty, I get thirsty. I know, same. I know, I just immediately like, give me water right now. If vision will blur, it'll be hard to walk and talk.

Your tongue will swell up, your skin will shrivel. Mike is crying during this. It's very like it's a real moment. And then Jeff's like, you go deaf and then you die. And Frankie asks how long it takes. And Jeff says like three or four days after they run out of water. Mike says, how do you know all this? And Jeff says army cadets. Great. So Liz walks away in tears. Frankie is comforting, uh, insisting that they're bound to get rescued. And Jeff joins in and they're all sitting around Liz and Frankie's like this time next week we'll be all down the pub laughing about this. And Mike joins in he's right opposite

Liz and he's like, and I'm buying it. And they all insist it's going to be okay. Wait, Liz is like, Liz is like gonna just hide the key this whole time. This is what's making me feel kind of crazy. Like Liz has the key. Liz has the key. Liz has the key. Liz locked them in. Yep. Mike is being so nice to her and Liz is so taken with him and tells him she's okay. And

then the lights start flickering. So then we have a little time passing montage. There's a bunch of like leftover food that's rotting and covered in flies. Their bottles of water are getting empty. They're also very bored. There's a lot of smoking and just sitting and lying around in silence. Now, my friends, I do have a question for you. Have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't care what happened to yourself? You just have to be with them.

If they look at you, your heart stops. If you feel their breath on their skin, you just ache. Yeah, you know, sometimes you just gotta trap the one you love in a hole. Yeah. Who among us? That's a good Valentine's Day card. That's a good Hallmark series.

Have you ever loved someone so much? You'll trap them in the hole. You've locked them in a hole. Throw away the key. Yuck. Liz asked this whole question to Miss Honey and then Miss Honey goes, no. And this is like, well, I have. So during that voiceover, we saw like Mike softly approaching Liz. He's like stroking her shoulder.

So Mike and Liz, we're back in the hole. Mike and Liz are kissing. He's really like taking her in. He takes her hands and like puts them on him. They're hooking up. There's a lot more like over the clothes, scoping and grinding. Nothing gets you hornier than dehydration. Yeah. What?

Yeah. This really came out of nowhere. I was like, why is he hooking up with her now? I guess it's like that thing that's on the bachelor when they do like adrenaline, like bungee jumping type things and it like Trauma bond. Tricks you into thinking you're falling in love with someone. So yeah, okay. I guess I'm back on board. I believe it.

It's also been probably a week at this point. They're bored. Those balls are gonna be blue as hell. So they're hooking up and it starts getting more and more intense and Jeff comes up to them and he's shouting several times and they're not paying him any attention. And then he turns the music off because it is diegetic and they stopped kissing and he says, Frankie's sick. They're not happy to be interrupted, but he's like,

I'm serious. Like she's really sick. It keeps coming out of her. Liz goes to check on Frankie. Jeff looks at Mike like big mad and he's like, so you're fucking her now. Things aren't going well in the hole in the bathroom. Frankie is throwing up relentlessly. We saw a shot of it in the trailer. Karen, I'd be throwing up in the toilet. Liz sits down next to her and begins the most ignorant fucking monologue. She does not give a shit, not even like, hey, are you OK?

He really doesn't kiss the way I thought he would. Like she just goes on and on about Mike describing how he kisses. She's quite simply too horny to care about her friend. Oh no. At one point Liz says to her like, you know, you could have told me about you and Mike, but I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. Frankie is just chucking her guts up. Clearly needs medical attention. She thinks Mike is falling in love with her.

They'll probably sleep together tonight. And then eventually she seems to notice that Frankie is being sick and tells her like, I bet we'll get out tomorrow. I have a really strong feeling we're going to get out tomorrow. Just just hang on. If you could hang on, hang on till then. Keep at it. You got this.

From the director's commentary as well, this scene was meant to be a riff on how the way girls go to the bathroom to talk about their boyfriends. Sure, very relatable. Yeah. It's definitely like this every time. Yeah, yeah. For sure.

Yeah. So, yuck. We cut to Jeff who is lying on his back, desperately trying to ignore the sounds of Liz and Mike fucking. Jeff is having a miserable time in the hole now. So we cut to Liz lying next to a steep in Mike. Uh, she's wearing his clothes and at this point you have to admit the hole has been a success. Mission accomplished. No harm, no foul. Everything

worked. She gets the key. She takes a torch. She's ready to go and open the door. She looks around the room. She sees Mike. She sees Jeff, but Frankie's not there. She goes to the bathroom. That's how another almighty scream, Jeff and Mike come running in. Frankie's dead. Jeff immediately picks her body off the floor and we see that they like rolls over. There's blood like all around her mouth. Mike and Liz are like screaming, that like it just, horror, disgusted. Jeff is frantically trying to give her mouth to mouth. It's so gnarly.

It's like, it's so disgusting, but also like devastating, like giving someone CPR that's like vomited so much blood and- It's kind of obviously dead. And it's very much dead. Yeah. And it's remind you like filthy and disgusting everywhere in this room. It's a really upsetting scene. So Jeff is begging for her to wake up. She's cold. And then they use Frankie's like pink blanket to drag her body back to the main room.

Oh my God. They've wrapped her up in her inflatable pink bed. I thought that was pretty funny. It was a nice touch. Her little tomb. Deflated pink sofa. Cut to like Jeff looking absolutely traumatized. Like legit, just like absolute horror on his face.

Blood around his mouth. Yeah, covered in like dried blood and vomit. Oh my God. He's looking just disgusted at Liz. She's whispering to Frankie how sorry she is, and they put candles around her. Jeff is stroking her hand. It's really very sweet.

Mike's just sort of sitting at the bottom of the body. Things are, this is an all time low in the whole. Back to Miss Honey, who is looking truly aghast at Liz. Liz, just isn't all time low in the hole. Back to Miss Honey, who is looking truly aghast at Liz. This is don't fucking look at me like that. It's not my fault if you don't like what I have to say. You asked what happened at the whole. So we go to, we cut to a mortuary and we see Frankie's body post-mortem post post-mortem and the forensics lady is telling Miss Honey that Frankie was bulimic they know that from the lack of an animal on her teeth the bleeding came from a tear in her esophagus she died on the tenth day from heart failure

whoa the tenth day oh my god this is fucked up this is yes you crazy bitch this is really fucked up back with Honey, who is just remembering this and then tells Liz to continue. So now the food is covered in flies. They're down to the absolute like last drags of war. The three of them look like fried dog shit. And Liz says, do you think she'll haunt us? And Jeff says, she'll haunt you.

Liz asks why me and Jeff's like, why you? This is your mistake. This is your idea, your fault. It's you, you, you. And Mike is trying to deescalate saying this isn't helping. She's sorry she didn't do it on purpose. Gives Jeff a little shove. Jeff grabs him. They have a little scrap. Liz is spiraling with guilt thinking about Frankie's parents and just repeating that it's her fault. And then Mike hugs her telling her it's not her fault. He's comforting. I hate this. I hate this so much.

Jeff is on the other side of the room and then has like a truly dead inside monologue about how he thinks he's going crazy. He thinks he can smell the body. He'd rather tear his face off than smell Frankie rot. When they're drinking like toilet water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Took her eight more days to let them out of the hole after Frankie died in there. Yeah, wait, what the fuck is going on? So Mike takes like the remaining water and brings it to Jeff and Jeff drinks it and thanks him. Thank you for the toilet water. Well then the toilet is full of maggots,

so the toilet water is done. Toilet water's gone, so that was really the last of it. Yuck. Liz is in the bathroom getting the key out of her shoe again. It's dark in there, but she's got the torch. She can see a torch light. So Mike and Jeff know that she's in there. Mike enters and startles her and she starts apologizing and he says like, you're not doing well. Just, just lie down. She's like, no, I have to tell you something. And he's like, it's dehydration. Just, just chill. Whatever you're about to say, you're, you're crazy. You're insane.

Jeff is meanwhile like crawling along the floor and he looks over to like towards his backpack. He looks over and checks that they're still talking. Liz has the key in her closed fist. Mike is telling her to just stop. You're torturing yourself. It's not important anymore. It's not your fault. And she's insisting like, I have to tell you something. And she holds out her hand and starts like unfurl her fingers to reveal the key. And you hear shh and a can of pop is opened. Mike whips around to see that Jeff is about to drink a can of cola. And he screams, you fucker! And he charges at him. Jeff is like, my my Mike, I was going to share, I was going to share. Mike throws him to the ground, grabs his head and starts pounding it off the edge of the octagon pit. There's blood everywhere. There's crunchy bone sounds. Jeff is dead.

Close that fist. I hate this. I hate, I just hate, I just hate this so much. Mike realizes what he's done and is obviously just like horrified. He's looking like he just sobbing, screaming. He's just murdered his friend. Yeah. That's pretty bad. It's not ideal. Really bad. Miss Honey and the forensics lady. We see Jeff's dead body on the morgue tray and the forensics lady says, severe head injuries. This one was murdered. Miss Honey is again staring at Liz like Jesus Christ.

Back in the hole, Mike is just reeling. He trips over the can of cola and he like hurls across the room. He is just wrecked. So now it's just Mike and Liz in the hole and they've covered up Jeff's body where it lay. So romantic. Well, just ignore that. There's already one dead body.

Just like she planned. So now they've gone through Jeff's backpack. He had two more cans of cola, which Mike is now drinking. Jeff is hoarding stuff, I guess. Liz picks up Jeff's army knife and like holds it to her wrist and it's like, look, we'll go together. I can't do this anymore. I'm done. Mike says, fuck no. The stuff we found in dress pack pack will keep us going a little longer. Like we might still be found. And Liz laughs at him saying like they would have found us by now. They're not coming.

It's simple. We'll just go together. Mike says, stop this. You're stronger than that. I know you are. You can keep going. She's still like holding the knife to her wrist. And then he says, I can't do this without you. If you go, I have nothing, I need you, I love you. Yuck. And he repeats that he loves her. Yuck. He's in tears.

She hugs him as he cries. And she has a very big smile on her face. Oh my God. It's all coming up. This fucking crazy bitch. Oh my God. It's all coming up, Liz. Whoa. Whoa. So in the morning, Mike is sleeping and Liz gives him a kiss.

She's wearing his overcoat and socks. This is what we saw her in at the very beginning. She crosses the hole and she climbs up the rickety chain ladder, which is still rattling, and she opens the door. The sunlight entering, we hear birds, and she takes a second. She like, she takes a deep breath and you hear Mike saying, how the fuck did you do that? So Mike's awake and she looks down at him. She's up on the landing platform and she holds up the key and tells him, I always had it.

I couldn't tell you how could I, but it was all for you because I love you. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Oh no. If you can believe it, he doesn't take it well. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. He stands up.

He's like staggering into the sunlight. He's looking up at her and he says, for me? And he starts laughing, which very quickly turns to tears. And he says, I killed my best friend. You let me think I was going to die. And you watched me kill my best friend for a fucking coke. He's like, you let Frankie die? You fucking held her hand.

He's raging. He starts kicking shit. He's screaming, you fucking bitch, you fucking whore. He throws himself on the chain ladder. You fucking cunt bucket. He's furiously climbing this chain ladder. He's like flailing around on it. He almost gets to the top and the ladder finally gives way and he falls all the way back down and

impales himself with part of the ladder. Oh my God. Okay. She's lying on the top platform looking down at him, watching him as he's like sputtering and then dies. Oh, this is the worst hole ever. It's a bad hole. Really bad hole. Cut to the psychiatrist, MF Davids with just her jaw on the floor, like just like being told all of this and she's just like, what the fuck? Bad time to be in the hole with Liz. Definitely shouldn't have taken her back there.

Although did hear what she came for. She's telling Miss Honey, at least this way, he never grows old, he never cheats on me, he never leaves. This way, he just stays perfect. Yuck. So Miss Honey is obviously like, okay, you need to say what you just said to me on tape

with the solicitor and your parents present. And this is why Ms. Honey says, cause your statement needs to be official. And this is, I'm not making a statement. It's honey's like, you have to. And so everyone's been waiting for, we're all been waiting to find out what the fuck happened in the hole. This is incredulous at this. And says, I just told you, no one's going to understand. I don't see. Oh, I should be punished for something that went wrong. It was an accident. Yeah. Oh, it was an accident. Yes. Definitely an accident. It was a plan. Went to ride. This honey says you're still responsible. And this is not ruining my life for this. Oh, this honey tells her it's out of your hands and Martin will corroborate what you just told me. This has another flashback.

We're back on the conversation at the dam and we hear Martin crying and this looks at the running water. And then she tells Miss Honey, it's too late. We see Liz gently stroking Martin's head and then it cuts back to Miss Honey and Liz as we hear mine screaming and Miss Honey is once again horrified. Oh God. Carrot enters and says, Phillipa, what the fuck are you doing? Oh, miss honey's name is Phillipa and carrot

and the police are coming in the hall and Liz is very quick. You're like, help. Thank God you're here. And she runs over to carrot and says like, I was so scared. I thought she was going to hurt me. Carrot tells her it's over. They have mine. He turns to miss honey says you're in deep shit. And miss honey's like, they have Martin. He turns to Miss Honey, he says, you're in deep shit. Miss Honey's like, you have Martin? And we cut back to the dam, and we see the police dragging Martin's drowned body out of the water. Wow, this was...

Carrot says it was a suicide. They roll Martin over and find the key to the hole in his pocket. Carrot said he was guilty as hell. So Miss Honey is shaken. And then we cut to outside. Miss Honey is like sitting on the edge of the car boot processing everything she's just heard

and also surely the like end of her career. And she looks over and sees Carrot is like presiding over Liz who is wrapped in a foil blanket, having a drink and they make eye contact. And Liz gives her just a little smoke and that's the end of the movie. Oh, what? What? Wow.

That. Oh my God, Grace. That movie's fucked up. Yeah. That movie's really fucked up. Like in the real world, do you think? Oh, there wouldn't be more of an investigation into Liz? I just feel like she could be like, well, she's lying. Like she's a child. Yeah, I know.

But they also... She's like a child. The film works if you assume that just every adult is a moron that is taking everything a child says at face value. Like a second of reason, like if you talk to the other two girls that were friends with Keira Knightley, you'd know that like, oh no, Liz and Frankie were best friends. Yeah, immediately there's... You just need to interview like anybody else.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yes, 100%. Why did he commit suicide behind Liz's house? Yeah. Right, with the key in his pocket, conveniently. Yeah. Wow. That said, yeah, it's a very fun movie

and I really enjoyed it. See? I don't care if there's holes in the hole. Wow, wow, wow. I did it. I think I really, really don't like people slowly starving. Oh yes, it's horrible. That's something that's very difficult for me

to have to hear about. I'll take a terrifier's jokes and high drinks any day over a slow drawn out dehydration death. Your friend locking you in a hole? I'd prefer not to be locked in a hole. Yikes. I have to go right now because I'm actually really late for something.

Oh dude, I'm so sorry. Grace, I love you. Oh no, no, no. I didn't tell you. I love you so much. Thank you. I love you too. I'm very sorry.

I have to go. Thank you for your time. Oh shit. Bye, Henny. Bye, Hen. Bye, guys. I promise to never lock you guys in a hole. Aw.

Thank you. I honestly promise to never go into a hole. So this won't happen to me because- I'm still, even after this, a little curious about the hole and I would. Yeah, I'm not going in a hole. So I just need you guys to promise me also that- I will, I promise I won't lock you in a hole.

If you go into the hole, I might follow. Where you lead, I will follow. Thank you. And I promise it'll be a good time. We have a fun time in the hole, I might follow where you lead. I will follow. Thank you. And I promise it'll be a good time. We have a fun time in the hole. Yeah. We'd have a better time in the hole than this. I feel pretty sure about that. Um, just some, some other stuff from the director's commentary, the sleeping positions that they're in when, um, when Liz is shining the torch on them and you

see how they die. So he's like lying on the back in this very like delicately posed position. Jeff hanging with his head, like hanging off the edge of the bed is how he was found. There's a lot of stuff in the, this is something that I found in revisiting it that I couldn't ever appreciate it. When I saw it as a teen is like, there's a lot of stuff in her original telling of it that sort of parallels what actually happened. Like it's better done than I originally gave it credit for. Um, but also when Mike tells Liz that he'll be the one buying the drinks for in the pub next week, his kindness to Liz gave her hope and had he not done that

and the plan having just gone disastrously wrong, she probably would have just unlocked the door. Yeah. Moral of the story, just be an asshole to people. I think don't be nice to people in a hole that you don't know. Don't go to a hole. I'd say don't go in a hole with people you don't really know very well. Like I'd go in a hole with you guys. Yeah, because nothing could go wrong. I wouldn't go in a hole with someone that was like an acquaintance.

Yeah. Yeah. There needs to be a certain, certain bond before you enter a hole. Yeah. You can't go in a hole with just anybody. You need history to go into a hole. Also I'd leave the door open. I think if I did go in the hole, we would definitely be leaving the door open. And have, you know, multiple plans of exit and, you know, you know, just be ready for, just be prepared to go in the hole.

I don't think I would like secretly go in a hole. Don't secretly go in a hole. I think I would want someone. You got to let people know you're going in the hole. I don't think I would secretly go in a hole. Don't secretly go in a hole. I think I would want someone. You gotta let people know you're going in the hole. You gotta let them know where it is. You gotta let them know what your plan is. Same rules as going on a date with a stranger is you tell your friends where you're gonna be.

I'm going in the hole. Description of who the person is. Don't go in the hole on a first date. When you intend to be out. Don't go in the hole on the first date. Just a lot of standard practices apply to a hole. My real beef with this movie is it kind of the same thing as Salt Burn.

Honestly, it's kind of the same thing as adolescence where it's like the, oh, you're just a psycho. Like there's no, there's no, having been a teen who fucking just lied and manipulated, like having been a kind of shitty teen, it's like it would have taken two seconds into like look at my home life and be like, Oh, there's kind of, there's definitely some factors here that like are affecting the way you are perceiving the world and like how you should behave. When there's not that it's just like, okay, so you're just, just done well.

Yeah. Yeah. Nothing more to it. Yeah, but hey, Thor Birch did a great job. She really sold it. Did a great job. Wow. Kyra Knight is a star. I can't believe we finally, finally learned about the hole.

I know. Wow, now what? Now what? You know what? That's the excitement is now what? Wide open. Well, you know, there are, I did see in my search that there are quite a few

other movies named the whole, so. Okay, so more holes to come. There's a couple more holes we could explore. More holes to come. Oh my God. I'll be the whole correspondent. Oh my God, Grace, you gotta cover all the holes. All the holes.

Whole respondent. Whole respondent. Thank you, Grace, for this. Thank you for literally everything. Everything you everybody out there listening put some goddamn respect on Grace's name. Okay, to be real, you guys simply have no idea how many shitty minimum wage jobs I have worked. Like as recently as as the pandemic like 2020 I was working in my local supermarket whose pick and pack department was being run through Amazon Prime. That was like 2020 I spent like doing that after I had already

like I had been an intern on improv for humans. I was getting paid. Oeternal shout out to engineer Brett Morris. He got me some paid work that I earned the same amount of money that I spent like two months. I earned in two months like packing bags. I have worked in an airport where the shift started at 5am. I have worked in McDonald's like a 24 hour McDonald's. I've worked in a cinema. I've worked in a craft ale bar. I've had to have like two hour group on sessions about like the history of beer and like the brewing process and stuff. I've done so much shit that like to now for this to be my job, like, I just, I cannot put into words the like, the just, yeah, I don't even want to say it's like I have, I have like, I just

love it here. Grace, you're incredible. And we love you so much. You being here and we're very lucky. Everybody You being here and... We're very lucky. Everybody who likes the show is very, very lucky. Yeah, you can thank Grace for that. But mostly us are lucky to have you. Grace, do you wanna plug any of the other shows

that you work on? Yeah, you produce other shows, it's not just us, unfortunately, we have to share you. Do you care? Do you care? It's like songwriting. Do you care about other shows? Yeah, I work on the Headgun podcast.

I work with a guy who's also named Jeff. It's a curse name. I work on Exploration Live. Charlie Bade was just on here two weeks ago. I work on Girls on Porn and... What the fuck is that? Oh, it's you guys. Yeah.

Headgun podcast. Exploration Live. What's guys. Yeah. What's the fourth one? What's the fourth one? Check those out. Yeah. Wow. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, Grace. Sorry.

It took us a year. It won't be a year until the next one. No, until the next hole. You guys. Um, you should do Keira Knightley's voice. I think. And yeah, I was going to say we got to end it with Keira Knightley's voice. Will you do it for a second, Grace?

Posh, yeah. All of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch. Oh my God! Oh, goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. This is a crazy one. We did it.

We made it. Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show, please remember to subscribe and rate us on Spotify and Apple podcasts. 5 stars only or we will haunt you. And if you simply can't get enough of us, we have good news for you. We have lots of bonus content available on our Patreon at patreon.com slash TSTW podcast. You'll get access to video trailer reactions, two bonus episodes a month, the power to vote for upcoming episodes, and more.

And last but not least, you can follow us on social media at TSTW Podcast. We'll be back next week with a new episode. We love you. That was a Headgum Podcast. Hi, I'm Jessi Klein. And I'm Liz Feldman, and we're the hosts of a new head gum podcast called here to make friends Liz and I met in the writers room on a little hit TV show called dead to me, which is a show about murder But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s

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