Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE LURE
Episode Date: November 19, 2025Movie Intro @ 13:28Trivia @ 15:50Recap starts @ 21:52 TrailerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-inf...o.
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This is a headgum podcast.
This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Watch.
Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves.
I'm Henley and I'm too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to.
And I got confused and was like, you didn't say Emily.
And that's because your name's not Emily.
But usually we start with Emily.
You're like, Henley, you're saying your lines wrong.
Get your lines right.
Get your lines right.
Yeah, I did that man by the seat of my pants.
I didn't even, I forgot.
It looked so natural.
So natural.
Cheryl. We're missing our dear Emily deeply. She's working. How dare she have another job besides this one? But, you know, she's designing clothes and saving the world.
Save the world. One outfit at a time. One outfit at a time. I got an outfit from Emily's work. Not to brag, but.
That's a brag. That's a brag. And Emily, I'm mad at you. If you're listening, I'm mad. Send me one immediately. Tell me exactly what it looks like.
Fender's self.
We have a, I'm really excited for today's episode and I'm sad that Emily is missing it.
I am too.
I like didn't, when you told me what this movie was about, I didn't believe you.
But now that I see your backdrop, I'm a little more convinced.
Yeah, it's, it's going to be surprising.
Uh-huh.
And if you want to get straight to it, there's timestamps in the show notes because first,
I have to know Henley, did anything scary happen to you this week?
I have so many things I want to bring up but we have to we have to make it quick so I want to
I want to bring together two things they are not connected at all but I just want to raise two things
great so the first is that we were just texting about our shocking realization that the human
brain is in fact the consistency of jelly like it's soft and porous and like you can't really it doesn't
really you can't really have it outside the skull the skull is keeping it all in there I really
thought it was like pretty thick and muscular and if you cut it, it would hold its shape. But we've
been told that that's not true. Well, that's because like every diorama of a brain is like that.
Every brain we've ever been shown is like that. I guess it's easier to show, like teach about the brain
if it's not dissolving into goo. So you can actually show it. Which by the way, I'll just plug real
quick. The reason we were talking about brain consistency is in our It Welcome to Dairy bonus series
that's available on our Patreon at patreon.com slash TSDW podcast. Lots of
interesting conversations happening over so much so much for uncovering um okay but the other thing because
I wanted to look into it a little bit more I'd heard this before but I couldn't believe it was real
another fun fact about the brain there are more neurons in a single human brain than stars in the
milky way wow can we think about that for a second more neurons I actually had been thinking about
this particular thing because I listened to an episode of the weekly show, John Stewart's
podcast, where he was speaking to that guy that's like the godfather of AI. You know the guy
that like started it all and now regrets it and is being like, no, no, no. He's like,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. He had a really long, in-depth discussion with him about what
machine learning is. And so they talked a lot about the human brain and how our brains learn
and how they're like recreating that for AI to basically learn in a similar way that humans
learn.
It was a really crazy discussion.
So this is crazy.
This is, and that is also crazy.
Wow.
I wish that we would just learn more about how our own brains work before we fully create one
outside of ourselves.
But I guess that's like, how are you going to learn without creating it?
I don't know.
How else could you do it?
Okay.
So I'm going to take us from there.
and then I'm going to boomerang, I'm going to do a 180 real sharp swerve in a different direction,
although this will also be familiar to you. But I just need to raise this on the podcast because
I discovered something last night that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. It's like
gotten under my skin in a way that nothing has recently. It's scaring me in a way that I can't
really, I can't really explain why it's scaring me so bad. I'm nervous. The clothing company
Magnolia Pearl. Oh my God. You sent this to me and I completely forgot, but it did scare me
as well. It's, okay, let me try to, okay, first of all, if you have your hands free right now,
if you're, if you're able to, you know, just pull up on, pull up on your phone, Magnolia Pearl
clothing. I can't believe this is real. It feels like it can't be real. I haven't done any research.
I've only looked at the website. The website is enough to make you feel like something has gone
seriously wrong. Like things are bad and wrong in like a really deep, deep, deep upsetting way.
So Magnolia Pearl kind of looks like, kind of, okay, so it's almost Lisa Frankie. It's a clothing company.
It looks like it's free people meets Lisa Frank. Free people meets Lisa Frank in a trap house.
in like a drug, literally in a trap house.
It looks like they're free basing.
That's what's so concerning about it with also random cultural appropriation.
Yeah.
Like there's sombreros.
There are like Swedish clogs.
There's a neon illuminated banana.
And then there's also so many layers of like hippie, drapey, embroidered clothing.
And then these fucked up thin, white, blonde women.
like acting like they are the hottest shit that's ever lived it really is bizarre it's giving like
Mick Jagger at his rock bottom it's like rock bottom Mick Jagger but like technicaler bright
and everything is $600 and it's so expensive yeah everything is like $600 to $1,000 and there's
just something about it that feels oh I found something that I like no stop it is it the neon banana
In the shoes, there's something called a kitty quilt shoe for the fair price of $350, an absolute bargain.
Anyway, I don't know what any of this is.
I don't know what it means.
I don't know who these people are.
And so I haven't looked into any of this.
All I have to say is that it scares.
It just scares me.
Like, I think that's it.
I think that's it.
It just genuinely scares me.
It was scaring me last night.
It's scaring me right now.
Well, and that is, that was the question that I asked you.
Yeah, that's top of mind for me right now.
This is an appropriate answer.
Yeah, it's pretty weird.
I wonder if it would be less weird if you had one item paired with, like, not this brand.
But these people in head to toe Magnolia Pearl are, yeah, really.
It's a lot.
No, they're wearing literal top hats.
Top hats, sombreros.
Decorated top hats with two large clogs, wooden clogs.
I just need you guys to, you won't believe it until you see it.
So you got to just pull it up and look at it for yourself and let me know why it makes you feel scared.
Or if it makes you feel not scared.
And if it doesn't make you feel scared, let me know that too.
but I can't I haven't quite figured out how to express myself properly about why I find this
so terrifying but there's something about that I find really scary like genuinely scary
I can see it I can feel it it's an inexplicable thing but I feel it too I feel it I really feel
it Sammy what about you um I had something a little scary happen this week which is some
garden drama oh there's always garden I knew you were going to get into drama once you started
garden. There's always garden drama. There always is. And for those who don't know, I recently moved
into a house with a garden and have been on a learning to garden journey, which has been really great
for the most part. And one of the things in my garden is a large persimint tree. And I've never really
had persimmons before this. And turns out I'm obsessed with them. They're so good. I really like
persimmons. They're kind of a controversial fruit. Some people really don't like them. I thought I didn't
like them, but maybe I had never actually had them and just assumed I didn't like them.
Well, I think that like all fruit can taste really bland if you get a bad one. Yeah. They can taste like
kind of gross from a grocery store. These are all super, super sweet, delicious. And I have looked up
recipes of I've been making persimmon olive oil cake. That's really good. And there's just
hundreds of persimmons on this tree. And there are squirrels that really get into them and eat them
as they ripen. And so that's a little bit of a battle. But there's kind of such a surplus of
persimmons that it's not really an issue. Wow. It's a lot of persimmons. It's a lot. And so I have been
looking forward to making this persimmon cake through the holidays. We got, you know, all sorts of
gatherings coming up. And so on my day off, I was like,
okay time to go like pick some persimmons so that I can make all my treats oh no did someone steal your
persimmons all gone all of them gone a hundred percent of them had been removed I could tell like like
gardener removal oh my gosh just wait someone came into your yard and took your persimmons well we have a
gardener we did talk to them so here's what happened I was devastated obviously yeah and
didn't really know what to do about it. And I literally, like, tossed and turned in bed at night.
You were ruminating. You were Lily Allen ruminating. I was ruminating. And, yeah, just felt like, oh, my
persimmy. They're all gone. Oh, my God. They're all gone. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I would feel
the same way. You've been planning. You've been planning. And so we ended up talking to the landlord.
And the landlord, because we just moved in, he let us know that the previous tenants specifically
instructed the gardeners to cut them off because they didn't use them and they start to rot
and fall and like attract like gross and yeah attract pests so it was just a miscommunication
and it won't happen again but I won't be seeing those persimmons for another year probably
that is sad so it was really sad and a little scary to also be at the mercy of my
like to realize the emotional impact my garden can have on me.
Well, and also like to show up to a tree expecting fruit and then for there to be no
fruit.
And kind of doing that thing where I like keep looking at it again to see if maybe I was
wrong and all the fruit is still there, you know?
Like I'm like, wait, but is it really all gone?
And I look again and it's still all gone.
Devastating stuff.
Devastating. Yeah, it was pretty, it was, it was, it was a gut punch for sure. It knocked me, knocked me down briefly, but I'm really sorry that happened to you. Thank you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna make it through. I'm gonna survive this, but, um, yeah, it was upsetting. I hope that, I hope they at least took some and like, they didn't all just dump them in the trash. I really hope they didn't just dump them in the trash. I've got to hold on.
to that. That's like when Tim and I lived in Los Angeles, we had like a mini grill that we would
use on our stoop sometimes. And we left it outside one night. And it was gone the next morning.
And we were like, damn it. And then we started walking down our hill. And there were just pieces of the
grill, like smashed up and like littered down the hill. Someone hadn't even stolen it. They just
they just like did like a smashing pumpkin thing. They just destroyed it and then littered it
all over the street. And it was like, oh, okay. Well, fuck. For what? For what? For what?
Why? Even better now. Oh, God. Okay. Well, to lift our spirits, I have a fun movie for us today.
I'm excited. I can't even begin to fathom what's about to happen. Yeah. It's pretty, it's pretty unexpected.
The movie is called the lure. How do you pronounce lure? Yeah, that's tough. Like, I was just the
Lur, that's, I would be hard. It's hard to, like, even say that out. The lure. The lure. It feels like
it should be two syllables, the lure. The lure. The lure. But rhymes with the cure. The lure.
The lure. Came out in 2015. This is a Polish film, and so apologies for my Polish name
pronunciations. These are not going to be good. Directed by Egnyshka Smoginska.
Okay. Written by Robert Bellesto.
based on Hans Christian Anderson's fairy tale, The Little Mermaid, published in 1837, starring Marta, Majurik, Mikalina Olzanska, King Caprice, Andrei Kanoka, and Jakub Gertal, streaming on HBO.
Okay.
Yeah, I've never heard of this movie before.
It had no idea it existed.
How did you come across this film?
It's been requested a couple times, and it's the kind of thing that once you hear about it, you don't forget it.
Because let me tell you that this is a Polish mermaid musical set in the 80s.
And it's a horror film?
And it's a horror film.
Okay, okay, okay.
I keep trying to figure out how it's going to also be a horror film.
It's unlike anything that I've ever seen.
They don't make a lot of horror mermaid 80s.
musicals. No. This fact that it's also a musical is that's one thing. It's almost one too many.
It's like so many things. Yeah, it's a lot. But it's a pretty, it's very fun and quite the
singular experience. God, I have Magnolia Pearl up in the background still and I need to close it
because it's actually really distracting. Yeah, I know. I feel like it's like there's something about it that
feels so insidious, so deeply insidious.
I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about it.
Oh, I know what to get you for Christmas.
No, please don't.
That's not, those are cursed objects.
And if one entered my house, I'd be way more scared of that than, like,
living next to a graveyard or by a church.
The lure has an 89% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 72 on Metacritic, and a 6.2 on IMDB.
Okay.
The budget was $1.3 million.
It made $101,657.
Okay.
I do always wonder about these kinds of, like, foreign films.
Like, they, I'm sure knew they weren't going to make their money back.
We talk about this a lot.
As someone who is, like, worked in the film industry for a long time, I still don't really
understand how this works.
No, I don't either.
I don't either.
I mean, they must make some money by, like, having it on HBO.
Wait, is that where you said it at streaming?
me. Yeah. Yeah. Film distribution rights, so boring. Who cares?
Yeah, it is. I'm glad they make them is, I guess my main point here is that even if going in,
they kind of knew they weren't going to make their money back. I'm glad it's still happening.
Some trivia for us. The original Polish title translates to daughters of dancing or daughters
of the dance. Okay. And the director, Agnizhka,
Mojinska developed her idea of mermaids from tales of the 14th to 16th century that described them as
the sisters of dragons and hence made them part monstrous.
Okay.
And let me tell you, Henley, these mermaid tales are absolutely disgusting.
Yeah, I know.
The thing is, the second I said, I can't imagine it's being a horror movie, I started to think about, like, a fish.
And I was like, oh, no.
Yeah, I mean, it's not scary.
I wouldn't say that this movie is scary.
but there is some violence
and the fish tails are so gross.
So they are six feet long
and weighed over 50 pounds
and the director
said they were designed
to look repulsive and
they succeeded.
Yikes.
And the last little piece of trivia
is that this film
is in the Criterion Collection
spying 896.
I was surprised at that.
but also pleased.
Interesting.
And I think we should watch this trailer
because you're going to want to see the vibes.
Yeah, I want to know the vibes.
Because there's no way I'm going to be able to accurately describe
what Polish 80s mermaid musical songs are like and visuals.
So this will be helpful.
You know, Silas is like one of his best friends at school is Polish.
And he goes to like Polish school on the weekend.
And Salas is always talking to, and I'm always wondering what I'm always looking for conversation topics, you know, with his mom.
So obviously next time I see her, the first question on my mouth is, have you seen the lure? Have you seen the lure?
The lure. The lure.
The lure.
I want to show to the
Nelpshi's to change, something to change.
Zvruch to look,
I've got everything.
Shum, shum, shum, shum,
shum, shum,
shum, shum,
from the road,
we're we're,
we're going to
we're,
we're,
shum, shum,
shum,
shum,
samuhoot,
we're we,
we're we're,
we're not mow
and we're
Oh, my gosh me, what we're going to be able.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Wait, I actually am so sad.
Wait, I actually am so sad Emily's missing this.
I feel like she would have been upset.
obsessed with the aesthetics of that trailer and the outfits.
And I want to see more from this director.
Where is she?
What has she been up to?
I know.
I was thinking that too because this was 2015.
So.
It's been 10 years, baby.
Let's get back in that seat.
What else have you been doing?
Let's see if she's got anything.
Dancing in films.
I just love to see it.
I love to see a choreographed dance.
Yeah.
I mean, and there's a lot in this.
There's some, like, big, dancey sequences.
It's super fun.
The soundtrack, honestly, is great.
I would love, I'm going to be putting this on and listening to the songs.
They're great.
They're sisters.
What's not to love about this film?
What's not to love?
Oh, my God.
I'm so excited.
I'm, like, so excited.
Part of me wants to, like, have a glass of wine right now, even though it's 4.30 p.m.
But the sun is, like, setting.
and I'm like, have that feeling of feeling alive.
Yes, yes.
I need a drink.
It's so fun.
It looks like she has directed a couple episodes of Warrior Nunn, which I remember hearing about.
And 1983, is that like one of those Yellowstone spin-offs or, oh, no, it's not.
It's a different TV series named after a year.
But, yeah, I wanted to do another fun one.
weird movie. Oh, she has a movie called The Silent Twins. I'll have to check it out. We will be
following up on Agnizhka. Wow. And seeing what else she does because this is a very, it's just so fun.
It's a very fun movie. Wow. Wow. Wow. I can't wait to tell you about it. Wow. I'm so curious.
Okay, great. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. I will say a little asterisk.
that any kind of Polish specific reference in this movie has gone over my head.
Right over that.
And I did a little bit of research into it.
And I'm sorry I didn't do more, but I wrote down that it does apparently have like political
undertones.
This is set during communist rule in Poland before the fall of the Eastern Bloc.
And I was reading a little bit.
There's a article written by Jessica Hudson called Reclaiming the Warsaw Mermaids Female Agency in 80s Communists, Poland and the lure.
Lur.
Every time I say it, I'm self-conscious.
And lir.
So I'm just going to read one little paragraph from that because I thought it was interesting.
She says, Poland in 1980 saw the formation of Solidarjnach.
Sorry, that's definitely not.
That sounded going to be an American.
A labor union movement that used civil resistance to advance workers' rights and ultimately played a major role in ending communist rule in Poland.
The Polish United Workers Party attempted to throttle the movement by instigating martial law from 1981 to 1983, pushing solidarity underground.
Government crackdowns coupled with clandestine resistance meant that this was a nebulous and ephemeral society that couldn't be fully inhabited by its citizens, by places.
By placing the lure in this epoch under the weight of history and before the dissolution of the eastern block,
the Mermaid's Coming of Age narrative mimics the awkward and dysfunctional process of establishing a new national identity.
So there were apparently some themes in here that I just completely missed.
And so I just wanted to mention them because they just went right over my head in the actual viewing.
So do the love interests that they eat represent the communist regime they're trying to overthrow?
so yes. Okay, got it, got it. It's all clicking. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
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So we begin. We are in 1980s, Poland. We see POV from the water looking onto a beach where there are three people kind of dancing and singing. They're in a band. I can't remember if they have their instruments right now. But it's just the three of them. They're like outside a club. And we see these two heads pop up from the water watching them.
These are our twin sister mermaids and they are both kind of eyeing one particular guy in this band.
This three person band is two guys and one girl and one of the guys that they kind of have a crush on has this kind of shaggy, blonde hair, rocker guy, cool, hot.
And they start singing their siren song to them.
Right, of course.
Where they're saying, you know, come pull us from the water so that we may join you.
And we see kind of these guys' eyes get glazed over as they start walking towards the water,
reaching out hands to pull them in.
And then cut to the woman on the shore, seeing this and screaming.
but we don't see necessarily what she's seeing
and then cut straight to the band playing at the nightclub
they're on the stage now performing one of their real fun songs
it kind of gave me their vibe gives
I want to apologize for not knowing a lot of bands
and music terminology because my main reference point
that came to mind a lot was Abba because I love Abba
and No Abba is the 70s, so it's not quite right.
But they're wearing like bright colors and sequins and it's...
I know, it's feeling like Mamma Mia.
It's like fun, easy listening, like...
Yeah.
Because I'm not a big...
I'm typically not a big fan of 80s music.
No, me either.
I feel like 80s music is the kind of music where I recognize every song,
but I have no idea what it's called or what the band is.
Yeah.
And this didn't really give me...
80s...
That particular vibe, I felt like it was kind of 70s, with some 80s, maybe some like Cindy Lopper in there.
And what I mean to say is the music is good.
And they're playing on stage.
We're not sure.
Is this like, are we back in time?
Are we like what's just happened?
And we see the owner of the club kind of pacing around sniffing.
He's going like, what's that smell?
Do you smell that?
Do you guys smell that smell?
Does it smell like mermaid?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's kind of pacing, like walking around, looking and getting into things, trying to figure out where the smell is coming from.
And we're already getting musical vibes because everyone's, like, dancing and as the camera is following him through the crowd of dancing people, he goes through the kitchen to ask them if they can smell the smell.
And they're like, yeah, we're cooking in here, boss, and they're all dancing as they're cooking.
And eventually he makes it to the green room where our two mermaids are with legs now in like big men's leather jackets, seemingly naked underneath.
And they're wide-eyed, don't know what to say to him when the rest of the band comes in.
They're like, the woman from the band, she's not named in the movie, I'm just going to call her the singer.
Okay.
So the singer comes in, puts her arms around each of them and says, oh, they're my friend's kids.
They, we want them to, they're great.
They could be part of the show or something.
So she's had her mind changed somehow.
I think so.
The impression I got throughout the movie is that they have a lure.
A lure.
See, that's what's tricky about it.
They have a lure.
They have a lure.
And.
They have a lure.
They have an attraction to them, and they seem like they have an effect on the people around them to be more drawn to them and maybe a little less logical.
And no one in this movie is ever like, oh, my God, a mermaid, what the fuck?
Like, it's all pretty like, uh-huh, okay, cool, nice.
Because they're not really hiding the fact that they're mermaids.
Oh, okay, that's interesting.
So they must have some kind of, yeah, mind control going on.
And I think a lot of that happens through the singing.
Because they've got their, like, siren song things that do.
And then they do become singers in this movie.
And they have beautiful voices.
So they're all in the green room.
And the club owner is saying, you know, this is only employees back here.
They look so young.
This is adults only.
They do look very young.
The actors are in their, like, mid-20s.
But there is, I think, because they say how young they are, there is also, like,
does kind of make you feel weird because they are very sexualized also.
And so I just had to make sure that they were in their 20s.
So they just keep calling them young?
Do they call them a specific age in the film?
They don't ever say their age in the film, no.
I'm just like, oh, they're so young.
I'm like, ugh.
Gross.
And he's like put them on stage.
Put them on stage.
Well, no, first, even worse, the drummer of the band tells the singer and the singer
and the bass player to leave.
And then he tells the girls to get naked for the club owner.
Wow.
Okay.
And he's showing them, showing him that they have no vaginas and no but holes.
What?
No butt cracks even.
It's just like smooth.
And they say smooth as a Barbie doll.
Wait, what?
That's the first thing that happens.
That's the first thing.
So we think that something is going on
their brains because I'm sure if anyone saw that, they'd be like, police. Right. Yeah, exactly.
It's played in a way of like, hey, I told you so. And they're like, oh, yeah, you were right.
There's no vaginas here. Okay. It's interesting. And then the drummer guy goes to grab a cup of
water and he pours it on their legs, which then turn into their tails, which are, as I previously
mentioned, absolutely disgusting.
Really gross. Yeah, and the trailer, they're so gross.
They're so big. And they're described in IMDB trivia as being half eel, so they're not
like, it doesn't have the like two fin thing at the end. It just goes to like a little point,
like a little butt, a little.
Ew. Why is that worse? It's so phallic and gross.
And they're just absolutely massive. And like,
gray and just like, yeah, repulsive.
They did a great job to making these repulsive.
So again, the club owner is like, oh, yeah, interesting.
They are mermaids, I guess you're right.
And then this part, I think, is pretty upsetting.
Oh, no.
The drummer shows the club owner where the vagina is on the tail.
So it's like near the end, there is.
a little orifice and they like are sticking their fingers in it going like oh there it is there
it is and the girls are like giggling he he i'm like what is happening what the fuck so are mermaids
just kind of like common knowledge in this town do we think or do we think i don't know i mean
yeah we don't know it's it's and again this could be a polish thing because they're you know this
this article is called reclaiming the warsaw mermaids so there might be some uh relevant history here
that I'm missing.
Some lore.
There might be some lore about the lure.
There might be some lore about the lure.
Okay.
So he's like, all right, so I'll leave you with them, go, like, have some fun, obviously
implying, like, to have sex with these mermaids.
And they go back on stage to do more of their songs.
And then the club owner runs out and, like, stops their set and gets their attention.
He's like, come out.
Come back, come back, come back.
Wait, do they have legs now, or do they have tails?
They now have legs again.
But when they left him in there, they had tails because that's where the vagina is.
Right, right, right.
And he also said, like, and if they turn back to legs, just, like, pour more water on them.
What the fuck?
And so he gathers them all, brings them back into the green room where the two girls are kind of twitching and catatonic, not responsive.
They have human legs again.
And they don't know what's going on.
They're trying to pour.
He's like, I poured water on him.
I poured water on him.
And they're pouring more water on him.
It's not doing anything.
And the club owner says, oh, I have an idea.
I have an idea.
So they take them to a pool and just throw them in a pool.
And that does the trick and brings them back to life in there.
Wait, is the implication that they were, like, traumatized by him trying to have sex with them?
You know, I don't know.
All right.
And we never revisit it.
Okay.
And it's unclear, to me, at least.
Okay.
Because, and we also don't get deeper into the rules of them.
Well, we do a little bit, but as far as when they get, like, I'm not sure why.
They changed to legs.
They changed back to legs and why they were catatonic and not responsive.
I mean, yeah, I would.
It seems like he assaulted them.
It seems, that's what it seems like.
And they were reacting.
Do they have a vendetta against the drummer
throughout the rest of the film?
It's not the drummer, it's the club owner.
Oh, it's the club owner.
Oh, oh, I got confused.
No, no.
It's like never made to feel weird ever again.
So that's why it's extra confusing.
Okay.
All right, let's just move on.
So they bring them that now they're smiling again.
We got, we're revived.
They get them out of the pool.
They switch back to having legs.
I think what happened, once they've like been brought out by humans,
they can kind of switch back and forth between human and mermaid just with, just add water.
So now we're all back in the green room.
Club owners say not right.
Let's get them dancing.
Let's get them on stage.
Everyone's excited.
Oh, my God.
They're going to be such a huge hit.
The mermaid girls, the mermaid twins.
And he tells them to go get them some good outfits to wear on stage.
So we get a fun mall.
montage musical that's probably like a hundred people it's like as if it's a full mall of people
that are all like dancing and singing to the same song as they're shopping for clothes and
trying on fun outfits i will say the english translation for all of the songs is really weird
and it like can't it can't be correct um and some of it's some of it's more strange than other
parts, but I just wrote down in this song, they're singing, we've chosen to live here,
we want to be clear, the city will tell us what we lack, what we are lacking, the city
will tell us what we lack.
They're all dancing and singing and smiling.
Yes.
And so I think there's some translation issues happening with some of these songs, but, you know,
they still are fun.
It sounds like, like what have we been missing, not being in the city?
or like, or it's like we're going to learn lessons being on land.
One of those vibes.
Yes.
It's a very fun song and we're all dancing, dancing, having a great time.
And then, oh, I didn't tell you their names yet.
Their names are golden and silver.
Oh, my God.
And one's wrapped in gold and one's wrapped in silver in the picture behind you.
Yes.
And at the end of this dance, silver collapses and gets a nosebleed.
Uh-oh.
And the bass player, his name is Mitek, rushes to her.
This is the shaggy, blonde-haired guy that they were both kind of making eyes at in the beginning.
He rushes to her, helps her up.
They're, you know, face-to-face kind of as he's holding her, lifting her up,
and they kind of linger in it for a moment.
And they're clearly having a little flirtatious moment.
And Golden does not like this.
Golden is watching and looking jealous.
A lot of the movie's description talks about how they like both fall in love with the same man.
And I didn't really read it that way.
I read it more as she's like jealous that her twin sister is being like taken from her.
Right.
It's less about the man and more do with her sister.
Yes.
That's how I read it.
And so she's she's not happy about this.
and we find out that they can speak telepathically with little ocean-y dolphin sounds.
So it's like them sitting next to each other and they'll be like,
beep,
be,
be,
oh,
are there subtitles?
Do we get to find?
Yes.
There are subtitles on the ocean sounds where Golden is saying to Silver,
you better not fall in love with him.
And Silver is assuring her,
don't be silly.
I won't.
And Golden says,
good because if you do, you'd have to eat him. Oh, no. That's some of the lore behind Lur.
That's some of the lore. When you fall in love, you have to eat them. That sucks. Yep.
Why is that a rule, man? That sucks is a rule. That sucks as a rule. It sucks. Totally sucks.
Rule is also another way of saying Ler. Rule is an anagram of lure. Whoa, it's an anagram.
Rule. Ruler. I have to stop.
So they have another show.
They're getting ready to go on stage.
They're in their fun new outfits.
And as the five of them, yeah, the three band members, two mermaids now, they're all going on stage together.
And as they go in through the like stage door, this is not relevant to the plot, but it's important to me, the club manager kind of stops each one as they pass by him and gives them a tap on the butt with his knee.
Oh, a knee tap.
It's like a knee little butt tap.
I haven't seen that before.
It looks like it's some sort of like good luck out there.
Like break a leg, but like with a knee on the butt.
And I just found it very funny.
And Golden does not allow him to do it to her.
She says, don't touch me.
Okay.
So it's their first show.
It's their debut.
And the audience is freaking loving it.
Again, I'm getting the impression that when they sing,
fall a little bit under their spell. And so this is probably very good for business because people
are just absolutely loving their set, dancing, drinking, just having a blast. And for the finale
of the set, they get in one of those big martini glasses filled with water. Where do you buy one of
those? And their tails come out and they're just splashing around in the martini glass with their
tails. That would be so much cooler if their tails weren't horrific. Horrific. They're so gross. They're so
gross. These are no little mermaid tails. These are no Ariel tales. These are nasty tales. Yeah. Which I mean,
I think it was the right choice, but it is so gross. Ew. The crowd's loving it. Crowds loving it,
not repulsed at all. And we get one little flash of a scary looking guy with scarred.
on his head that we don't really know what that is
but it's like clearly a cutaway vision
of some sort. He's not
someone that's in the club. It's just
like black background
scary guy flash and he's gone.
Okay.
We see them going back
home. They are living
with the band and
everyone's going to bed
but Golden
is kept up by
her nagging
feeling of kind of
distress about her sister falling for this guy and she has a sad song a yearning a yearning and this song's
lyrics is about how she's feeling very lonely and it's also done very stylistically where the
lighting of it goes completely blue in the whole house and everyone is frozen in place as she
kind of sings around them and she gets naked and so we see that the Barbie bottom again as she's
like dancing around everybody which I feel like just a thought I had was that would be like
a little bit nicer as an actor to have like your fake butt yeah you don't have to like be
totally naked you get to have yeah and you're not like vulnerable in that way but that you do see
their boobs a lot and they both have very like flowy long hair like
mermaid hair that's covering their boobs a lot of the time but they are naked a lot and there
was mention of that in the trivia that the director wanted it that way because they're they're
animals like they're not human they're fish and so their natural they would be like uncomfortable
wearing clothes their natural state would be being naked interesting okay so we see golden getting in
the bath turning into big nasty fish tail and we see her she has
some like fangs that come out or these very sharp teeth almost like pennywise teeth to be honest
with you wow it all comes back doesn't it jagged mouthful of big old shark teeth and she gets dressed
and hits the town she goes out by herself and picks up a guy at a bar okay we're feeling a little
nervous she's singing about how her desires are impure or something she's alluding to you know we're thinking
like sex but also what's that going to look like and right are you going to have sex with her
fish vagina or yeah are you just going to do hand stuff hand and mouth stuff you know hand and mouth stuff I don't know
But it seems like she doesn't do either because she gets in a car with him and they drive to shoreline and we just see a wide shot of them together in the car and hear sounds of kissing and then sounds of growling and then sounds of muffled screams and someone clearly in pain and biting and like ripping.
So she's just eating him.
Is she eating him?
Yes.
And then we see inside the car and her big nasty teeth have come out and she is eating him.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, she's actually eating him.
She's literally eating him, yeah.
Oh, no.
And there's blood everywhere and he dies.
And then we see kind of a profile shot of the car facing the water as she flops out of the car and kind of slowly drag.
She has a tail?
Oh, God.
And she's dragging herself along the sand to get, like, army crawling along the sand.
And it's, again, just like a really good look at this nasty, nasty tail.
Oh, it's so long, yeah.
Which is so, like, disproportionate to her body.
I'll remind you, there's six feet long.
So it's, her torso is probably, what, two and a half feet, three feet.
And the tail is just double that and thick.
She must be so.
This is so gross.
She must be so powerful in the water.
She was a powerful swimmer.
Yeah, we don't see a lot of that, unfortunately.
But she kind of wriggles her way into the water.
And we get another flash of that scary guy with the scars on his head.
We cut to checking it on Silver.
What's Silver up to?
Her and My Talk are flirting and kissing, and she leads him into the bathroom.
and runs a bath.
She gets naked and she runs a bath and she slides into it like a, like a fish,
like not in a really sexy way.
She kind of like flops in there.
Flops in, yeah, in a pretty funny way.
And her tail comes out and she's trying to seduce him.
She's beckoning him over.
And he's clearly very smitten with her.
but he seems hesitant to fuck her.
Right.
And also, is she going to eat him or is she going to fuck him?
Like, would she rather, which one would she prefer?
I'm like a little confused about what they're into, you know?
She seems more interested in fucking him or she's just like, she's falling in love with him, it seems.
She's falling in love with him, it seems.
Which is bad.
But then you have to eat him, apparently.
Yeah, but she, you can't control these things, Henley.
All right.
So she asks him to get in with her.
But there's no room.
There's no room.
Your tail is so big.
Your tail's so girthy.
There's no room.
There's no room for anybody else in there.
And he leans down to her and he says, as much as I want to, I really do want to, but I can't, like, you'll always be a fish to me.
That's pretty brutal.
It's pretty brutal.
But also fair on my talks part.
You know?
Yeah. Yeah. But is she heartbroken?
She's, she is hurt by this.
She reaches down to her tail and peels off a scale again, like really gross, like nasty, like dead scale.
And she like gives it to him like she's giving him like a flower and it's so gross.
He's like, thank you.
And yeah, to his credit, he is like, oh, thank you so much.
It's so nice of you. Give me this nasty fucking fish scale.
and she asks if he'll just kiss her then and he he does so he kisses her and she starts
singing another little song and we get another surreal little moment where they are transported
onto the dance floor it's slow song a slow romantic song and they're holding each other and this
is probably about her longing to be a human to be able to be with him and then we're transported
it again underwater where they're like spiraling around each other it's all beautiful both of
their hairs are billowing in the water in that very picturesque way and then they return to the room
where everybody else is in I think they're at the house and they walk into the living room head
to sopping wet so they really have been in the water and everyone else is like yeah nice
Like, they know what that means.
And Golden, again, is looking upset.
But then Silver notices on Golden that she has some blood on her cheek.
And again, they have a little telepathic.
Like, you can hear the little – it's mostly dolphin sounds, which I cannot impersonate.
But it's clear that they're not happy with each other.
And Golden says out loud that it was a –
cow don't worry about that blood that's cow's blood lies uh then we get i think my favorite song
they are performing again that night and this is kind of like a glam rock song kind of have maxine
vibes in this their hair's all like big and they have that big stripe of makeup across their eyes
oh is that like that that just must be a thing that's a thing people did i kind of want to do that
actually it is it does it looks good yeah but it probably is kind of a pain in the ass to do
Emily did it once.
Emily did it.
She looked great with it.
I just think it's fun.
But this is a very fun kind of party song.
Everyone is, again, dancing.
And some people, I think, are like starting to fuck on the dance floor.
So this is where you're really like, okay, their spell is powerful.
And after this song, Silver confronts Golden backstage and showing that she's mad at her.
She knows what she's been up to.
She says, you're, like, going to blow this for us or something.
something. And before they can really get into it, they turn and see the man with the scars on his
head that we have seen a couple times. They're at like a side bar, not backstage. So he's like
at this kind of empty bar. It's just the three of them in this room. Okay. And they kind of
immediately have some sort of connection with him. They like feel something and Golden starts
approaching him. And we find out his name is Triton. This is Triton. This is Triton.
Is this their daddy? It's not their dad, I don't think, but he's their god. He's another sea creature.
Okay. He's just a merman. Yes, but in human form. And he says, he tells Golden, you are of my blood.
So maybe he is their dad. He doesn't act like their dad. Okay, okay. But he tells them he,
has horns under his flesh, so the scars are from where he pulls the horns out so that he can
like blend in better, I presume. And Golden reaches to touch the scars. And he kind of like
was like, oh, that was fine. That was going to bark. A jump scare really got me. He is also a
musician and he asks them if they'd like to sing in his band. Golden's looking pretty interested
in this. She's smiling. Excited by me.
meeting this new person, whereas Silver has wandered off to go find my talk, and they are
making out in the hallway. Triton says to Golden, you better keep an eye on her, because if she
falls in love with him and he marries someone else, she'll turn to C-Foam.
What, C-Fome?
She'll turn to C-Fone before the night is when morning comes or something like that.
Is there like a rulebook we can go through, Triton? I want to know what the condition is.
And, like, pretty important ones.
It seems like...
That's where seafone comes from.
It's all dead mermaids.
So any time you see seafoam, it's a mermaid whose heart has been broken,
whose loved one has married someone else.
Devastating.
Absolutely devastating.
Then we get kind of a fun.
Triton leaves and Silver goes off with my talk.
And so Golden's walking home alone when a woman, an older, sexy woman, comes up to her.
And I think says she's a detective, like maybe.
she's on the case
of the dead people
or dead person that has turned up
right who golden killed
yes but unclear
because immediately they just get into
like a flirty song together
okay oh I did write down
the lyrics because they're insane
she says
the detective
says to sings to
Golden rather you have your
doubts about going out
so I talked to Daddy
and he has no buts regarding sluts.
What?
That's the lyrics.
So again, I think something's being lost in translation, but it's kind of like a, like a, I think the message is trying to say.
I don't know.
I was going to say something like ladies are okay to hook up with, but not men.
like I don't know it says but that you have your doubts about going out but daddy says what does
it say but daddy so I talked to daddy and he has no butts regarding sluts so I don't know if that
means like he's okay with you can hook up with women but also nobody's telling her what to do
regardless so I don't know where these doubts are coming from but it's interesting that daddy
has come up again regarding triton showing up and now we're immediately talking about daddy
all of a sudden, I am a little confused.
All of a sudden, we're talking about daddy.
And they, you know, sing together, flirty.
They go back to the detective's house and Golden gets a glass of water,
lays down on the bed, and, like, pours the water all over her legs seductively.
It turned into a disgusting day.
Look at how disgusting I can get.
A detective is into it.
Sure.
She gets on top of her.
She's in this fun fishnet head to toe body suit.
And she's like humping the fish tail, eel tail and like holding it in her arms while they're still singing.
And so it's, we don't really see how either of these people are getting off.
Right.
But they seem to be enjoying themselves.
They are emotionally.
Yes. And I just, I guess I mean, there's no penetration. She's not going for the, for the whole.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Got it.
Then Golden's teeth come out. Uh-oh.
And they are, they're holding each other and they're kind of face to face. And the detective doesn't seem scared, but it's also like, they're so, the teeth are so big that it's now kind of like hard for them to kiss. So they're trying to kiss, but it's a little awkward because their teeth are so big.
And then the detective pulls a gun on Golden.
Oh, wow.
This is like really going all over the place.
It's really all over the place.
It's a roller coaster.
And she does not pull the trigger, but instead tips her head back seeming like she's offering her throat to Golden.
And we see Golden open her mouth wide and like lean towards the neck.
And then we cut away to, you're never going to believe, a.
shot of the singer of the band, the woman that is from the opening scene, holding golden
and silver, breastfeeding each of them.
Wait, what?
And it pulls back to reveal all three of them have huge nasty mermaid tales.
Oh, the singer's their mom?
Well, then we cut to the singer having sex with the drummer.
And so this is kind of like her fantasy.
in her brain that she's using to get aroused while she has sex with the drum.
And it's breastfeeding two mermaid sisters is what's getting you there.
Pretty interesting.
You know what?
Like, I just feel like I need to get more creative, you know?
They're really getting creative here.
This is such a creative.
That's so creative.
I never would have thought of that, ever.
I know.
I know.
There's a lot in here that I really would never have thought of.
so she's she's using this try to get off
but then she turns to the drummer guy and says
why do you wreak a fish
and he looks
wide-eyed like maybe he's been caught
and then he kind of
he's like I ate some herring
and she says oh get out of here
I'm not doing this so
it's clear that these
twin mermaids have really
Cause an upset.
Throwing the whole dynamic into disarray.
And are they fucking this guy too?
Or is it just, has she paranoid that she's smelling fish?
Fish smells unclear.
I don't know.
Okay.
I could really see it going either way.
Okay.
But then the mermaid twins come home and the whole gang's back together watching TV.
Water under the bridge.
Yeah.
It's totally fine.
when they see a news report of the dead man that has been found but not all of him has been found
because it seems like a lot of the pieces of him are missing and there are no tracks at the
scene other than his and something that seems like a reptile or but it can't be like a lizard
that's been ruled out.
But it seems like a girthy tail.
A girthy tail, like a huge snake.
That's like a huge eel, fleshy tail.
And this is very funny because the three humans in the room all like slowly and nervously are turning their heads to look at golden and silver who jump up and they yell something at the family like, why don't we do anything fun?
Well, you never take us to do anything fun anymore.
and they storm out
they go into the room
and then both of their fangs come out
and they kind of are moving
around each other like they're going to fight
you know the like pre-fight stance
where they're just like
circling each other
and like
hissing and growling
and singing
menacingly to each other
and you don't know what's going to happen
But it seems like through, they like circle each other and sing this menacing song for a while until they kind of both start laughing and it like cheers them up and fixes everything.
The vibe by the end of the song is like, oh, I can never stay mad at you.
Oh my God, sisters.
It's such a special relationship.
It's so special.
And just then they turn and see that the drummer has walked into the room and with both fists simultaneously punches them both in the face.
really hard and knocks them out.
Oh. Okay, because he's finally, they figured out that they'll, they're flesh-eating monsters.
Yeah, I guess so.
Dang.
Then we see, uh, the three human people taking golden and silver, like, mafia style wrapped up in rugs to a bridge
to throw them off the bridge, getting rid of them, want them out of their lives.
they are literally screaming, crying, throwing up.
Oh.
My talk is like vomiting.
Wow.
Because my talk's so upset to have to.
I guess so, yeah.
And I guess the rule is like if a human puts you back in the ocean, you like can't come
out on your own again?
Is there like, no, I don't think that's a rule because they do.
Couldn't they just come back?
I think they think that they're dead.
Like they maybe don't have.
Just from one punch in the face?
You can't kill a fish monster with one punch in the face.
I mean, pretty clear to me as well, but.
I don't know. Humans and they're hubris.
Yeah. They're not thinking straight. They're just trying to get them out of their house.
Then we see them go back to the house. And now they're all like fist fighting with each other.
I think it's maybe another song. So again, this is all very like heightened and not a normal thing that people would do.
And we see immediately, yes, the sisters just get out of the water.
Oh, okay.
Start heading, heading back to the house or to the nightclub.
they do kill some pedestrians on their way they see some like couple of making out
leaning against a motorcycle they kill them so now they're mad they rip their hearts out they
eat their hearts oh my god they're so mad which is what they what she i guess is what mermaids do
because they also did that to the the first guy and the newscast said that like their his heart
was gone yikes so that's something that they like to do and they meet back up
with the band at the nightclub in that green room it's kind of a little awkward the three of them
are like oh oh and the drummer it's that that meme it's like hey hello and the tic-tok of
someone coming back in it's from like a bro it's from something that I don't know what it is
how y'all doing how y'all doing and the drummer tries to apologize to golden he says
what happened earlier
I really
I have to apologize
and he's like got
he's got his hands
on her shoulders
and is trying to
like embrace her
and she grabs his hand
and says it's okay
we're not mad
and then she bites his thumb
off and eats it
nice
and he
to his credit
he really is like
okay I guess I deserve that
he kind of
doesn't even scream. He's like, he's like, yeah, okay, yeah. You got me there. What? He just accepts
it. He says, that's my payment. He says, I can still drum without a thumb.
Ooh, that's going to be good. Can you be a drummer without a thumb? It's going to be kind of tricky,
I think. I'm sure you can, but it'll be an adjustment. You'd have to learn. You'd have to
relearn, but it's not impossible. We see Silver running up to Mytock, who looks pretty stunned.
he's scared of them but also happy to see her he looks like he does he does love her kind of but also he's
just did you get married to someone else while they were gone in that like five minutes no not yet
oh no and she's telling him that she's going to get she's going to get real legs so that they
can be together she's going to become human so that they can be together golden hears this
of course very upset she storms off and goes to tritons bands show he's in like a death metal
band he also has the nastiest hair i've ever seen in my whole goddamn life uh he has like
thinning thinning almost bald stringy hair that he has styled from the bottom up into like
a comb over mohawk that's like so thin and gross that it like flops over yeah yeah oh my god it's
disgusting but it does look kind of like a wave so maybe it was a that's intentional an intentional
choice don't ever do that that's complicated that's for don't ever do that so this show's vibe is
is different from what we've seen so far with the other band.
Is it screaming?
Oh, they're screaming like this.
And Golden is loving it.
And she keeps like taking the mic away from him.
And there's another singer who's getting so mad?
Like, who are you?
And why do you just think you can be in our band?
She just goes up on stage.
But she, yeah, she joins the band.
Sorry, I thought she was watching.
No, she's joined the band.
She did like meet them backstage and walk out onto stage with them.
But there was very little discussion about what was going to be happening on the stage.
And what's happening is she is just trying to, trying to steal the show.
Cool.
At the end of the song, Triton bites the head off of a pigeon, Ozzy Osbourne style.
And it's really gross.
Ew.
And then we cut to.
Although, wait, that reminds me.
This is such a tangent
And we can't get into it
But on Las Coltrisa
Sarah Paulson did her
I don't think so honey about pigeons
Did you see this?
I saw that and I really liked it
She loves pigeons
I'd open up a whole new world
About pigeons to me that really blew my mind
Because I did think of them as like street rats
I didn't realize that they mate for life
That they have like their own language
That they're like the most beautiful
They were like domesticated by us
To deliver messages across the world
That's, it's so, so beautiful.
And there's so much we don't know about nature that we take for granted.
And we just are, I just look at pigeons, just look up pigeons and just find out.
Just educate yourself on pigeons.
I have no idea.
I also saw Instagram real of a woman going through all the different kinds of pigeons because there's some that are so crazy looking.
Like it's not all just the kind that you think of.
There's very, you know how there's like all different kinds of chickens.
like really funny looking chickens. Same thing is true of pigeons. Wow. I'll find, I'll find the
video. Wow. Pigeons are great. You don't want to see them with their heads bitten off.
Definitely. And also like, are you going to survive that? Well, he's a, he's a sea creature.
That's true. That's true. But still, a pigeon still.
So then we cut to Golden Silver doing a photo shoot. Mermaid Tales out. Again, this is treated as
normal seems like they're doing some sort of magazine photo shoot the mermaid girls and they are
speaking telepathically golden tells silver triton said that if you cut your tail off you'll lose your
voice and silver responds that that's just a superstition and that golden's being silly and that
triton's here and triton has legs nothing's happened to him so triton cut his tail off well we don't
really know it's not really explained okay but don't cut your tail off ow i know emily would not like that
part no uh so silver kind of shrugs it off and it's like i'm not i'm not worried and then we see
my talk driving silver to go get her underground tail removal surgery oh no oh no they're in like a warehouse
We get an overhead shot of two, like, gurney type things that are ice, like, they're both laid in beds of ice, silver and some random woman that we have never seen before.
The woman is cut in half hamburger style at the waist.
Oh, my God.
She seems to still be alive somehow.
And we got a song here, of course.
Silver is singing, I think about how she's excited to be human.
Part of your world.
Part of your world, exactly.
And her gurney or like operating table is obviously so much bigger than the other ones because her tail is.
Because she has to accommodate the six foot long girthy tail.
It's so gross.
But girl, if he can't accept you as you are.
No, don't change yourself for a man.
It's not worth it.
It's not worth it.
find yourself a man who can accept all of you fish and everything. Yeah. Oh, no, this isn't going to
end well. This is a sad story. Is this a sad story? It's a sad story. So she is singing when the doctor
surgeon walks over with one of those circular electric saws. Ew, ew, no. I really don't like that.
half hamburger style and then we're just swapping and stitching them back together.
Wow, it's so simple.
Just like that.
Cut to sometime later, she's at home in a wheelchair recovering from her lower half surgery.
We see she does have a scar all around her abdomen where she was cut in half.
Right, right.
You would.
And she's listening to music and she's trying to sing a little.
long but she has no voice no it wasn't superstition it wasn't superstition she has really lost her voice
but we see mitak coming in with a dozen roses hugging her and kissing her and they're both so excited
she shows him her lower half which now has a vagina oh my god do they talk to they explicitly
no she just like lifts up her gown her like hospital gown and is like
Oh, look at my vagina.
Oh, my God.
And he's like, yeah, hell yeah, we can have sex.
And he lays her down and they start having sex.
And pretty quickly, she's wincing in pain.
Right.
She did just have a surgery.
Yeah, she did his chest cut in half.
Yeah.
And he pulls back and steps off her and sees, looks down and sees that he is covered in blood
from her scars splitting open.
It is too soon.
Well, she needs more time to heal.
She needs a lot more time to heal.
But he looks absolutely repulsed by this.
Oh, my talk.
Yeah.
It's never enough for you.
Yep.
Yeah.
It's never enough for you, my talk.
It's never enough, this motherfucker.
So now we're having this.
This is stressful for the gigs too at the club.
They're saying maybe she can lip sync.
And the club owner is like, not in my club.
Nobody lip syncs here.
That's where I draw the line.
That's where I draw the line.
I would have fucked them both as mermaids, but there's no lip syncing here.
Oh, my God.
I can't get over my talk being repulsed at her scars from a surgery she did for him.
I know.
I'm so mad about that.
Yeah, it's upsetting.
But it is like a, it's like a fairy tale, you know, that's like,
I feel like how they operate where it's like the thing that you, it's all very like on the nose.
So they're trying to figure out this debacle.
What are we going to do?
They say maybe Golden can be solo.
Golden says, I don't sing solo.
I need silver to sing with me.
Through this, my talk like leaves and goes to a recording studio to watch someone else recording.
I wasn't quite sure the layout of what happened here.
But he goes somewhere else, and guess what?
He meets another beautiful woman.
Oh, my God.
Immediately they're flirting and laughing.
She says, I love your song, The Fly, which is apparently the title of one of the songs.
And he's like, oh, that song's by the Lur, the Lur.
The Lur, because that is their axe name in the movie.
But she doesn't care, and they start making out.
already and we see silver waking up crying in a cold sweat like she has sensed something she's wiping away
her tears looking really distressed cut too my talk's wedding no no that motherfucker already that was so
fast really fast and we see silver is still recovering from the surgery she's not in the wheelchair anymore but she has like
crutches and is still struggling to walk and she looks like pale and ill like well she's turning
into fucking seafone and she's and she's heartbroken now but she's like trying to look happy
for him whereas golden is she was invited to the wedding she's at the wedding yeah when golden is
absolutely seething staring daggers at my talk oh you better kill my talk immediately golden
And the husband and wife, the bride and groom, are singing that song, The Fly, that is a song that was first performed by Golden and Silver.
That's now their wedding song and Golden is just so pissed and Silver's looking on like still love struck and sad but like kind of smiling that she has nice memories with this song as well.
And golden turns to silver and says, Triton says you have to eat him by daybreak or you'll turn it to sea foam.
Oh, right.
That's right.
She could eat him.
And then he'll, then she won't turn into seafone.
Yeah.
All she has to do is eat him.
All she has to do is eat him.
Yeah.
So we see Silver kind of mulling this over and she's given an expression that's hard to read.
She kisses her sister on the cheek and walks over.
to the main wedding area, some time passes, the sky is getting a little lighter. It looks
like dawn may be approaching. Wedding is really thinned out. There's only a couple of guests left,
a couple people slow dancing, and we see that the bride has gone to bed, and my talk is
just on the periphery of the dance floor by himself, and Silver approaches him.
and smiles, and he smiles at her, and she reaches to hold him, and they have a little
slow dance. They're not saying anything, but it's emotional. He maybe still has a little bit
of feelings for her, but also it's his wedding to somebody else right now. So, and as they're
slow dancing from behind him, Silver locks eyes with Golden, who is,
is watching them giving, you know, visual cues of like, okay, come on, come on, come on. Come on. Come on. Get to it. Get to it.
The sun's about to come up. The sun's coming up. It's getting light. We see Silver's teeth come out.
Big, nasty teeth. She's hovering them over, uh, my talk's neck. And there's like tears coming from
her eyes. And they're kind of still slowly spinning around. And she's leaning in and then leaning.
away. Oh, she's really struggling. And then she turns and sees the sun coming up, feels the sun
on her face. His tears are rolling down her cheeks and she's smiling and then turns out of
view where we just see my talks back. And as he turns back toward camera, he's covered in
seafone. Oh, no. And even here, he's like, ew, oh my God, what? Ew.
he is he's again he's again repulsed i don't think he knows what happened to be fair but still my talk sucks
your first your first reaction should be of concern from where's the woman you were just holding
what but no he's just like oh see foam all over me yuck yuck yuck no this dude sucks so much so
silver she's gone she's dead and silver dies and golden
immediately kills him. Oh, yeah. She screams in rage and launches at him, rips out his throat.
And this part is pretty gruesome. You like get close-ups on the throat and like as he's like choking on
his own blood and it's, it's, ooh, it's pretty nasty. And then, you know, other people are still there.
So they have witnessed this. So then people start screaming. There's not many people. And some of them are the
other band members who are familiar with them being like man-eating mermaids.
So they're they're definitely shocked but maybe not as shocked as some of the other guests at the
wedding.
But people are screaming so Golden quickly like gets up and starts running toward the shoreline again.
We see that they're near the ocean and we see like close-ups on the singer of the band's
face as she's she like looks like she like wants to help Golden but is also like, you just
killed you just killed him as nobody knows what to do right now it's all like everyone just kind of
like oh oh oh and golden dives into the water out of sight and we see some shots of just at the
bottom of the ocean the seabed and coral and seaweed swaying and the dark depths of the ocean
scary and that's the end of the movie oh oh my god what a what a what a wild
wild ride that was. Also, Hans Christian Anderson, damn. That is the original ending of the
Little Mermaid. And it's the same Little Mermaid that the Little Mermaid was based on, but they obviously
changed the ending. Yeah, those fairy tales. I actually saw Hans Christian Anderson at a bookstore
recently, like a compilation. And I cracked it open and started reading like one page. And I was like,
whoa, I can't handle this. Yeah, they're intense. They're so intense. And the fact that they were written for
children is so funny it's so funny uh yikes that that was fun that was fun but sad yeah and also like
i'm kind of mad at silver yeah a little bit not to victim blame but like yeah she couldn't do it
she couldn't do it but it's also like well he died anyways so yeah he was going to die anyway
but she just left your sister alone that's what makes me sad yeah yeah you left your sister alone
Fair.
I don't like that.
I feel like there's been a lot of conversation about The Little Mermaid in the past decade
about it being like a formative movie for millennial women
and how it's actually like really destructive messaging about how you need to like give up your whole self
in order to be accepted by a man and then you'll be happy.
Yeah, I mean, not dissimilar to Twilight.
Yeah, I know.
So for another generation of women,
women too. I guess that was still our generation. That was still our generation. That was our teen
indoctrination to that idea. We just got double doses. We got double dosed and and teen dosed. It's
pretty fucked up. So it's nice to see that played out in a different way here. Right. Yeah. Like the
message should not be happily ever after, but like if you sacrifice everything for someone else
that might lead to the logical conclusion of literally sacrificing everything, including your
life.
Including your life, like, make sure they're worth it and make sure you're paying attention
to who else you're leaving behind.
But whatever, that was fun.
It's super fun.
And what a bomb.
Yes, I do highly recommend watching it.
It is just so aesthetically fun, too.
And the music is great.
Maybe just listen to the music.
if you if you if this sounded too scary for you which i promise it really it really wasn't yeah just
don't watch the end yeah the part where she has the surgery really freaks me out like that's giving
what's what's the one with justin long walrus what's it called oh yeah tusk tusk the con just like body
stuff in that way really freaks me out and like yeah it's gross surgery that's not not okay
surgery also really freaks me out. And you see, you do see like their intestines kind of hanging
out a bit. Oh, I really don't like that. Like they're just going to be slopped into the next
bottom half. So just just watch the first like hour of the film and then turn it off. Yeah. Yeah. It's
very fun and very unique and I am happy to have seen it. What a what a fun, fun unexpected film.
Well, now I understand the allure of the lure and the lore behind the lure. And so
and now I have so much to talk to what Silas's friend's mom about.
Oh, I can't wait.
You're going to become best friends.
We're going to be best friends.
I totally understand Poland now.
I basically know the most important piece of Polish media history.
About the war song, Mermaids.
Yeah, thank you, Sammy.
This is fun.
Thank you for picking one that wasn't going to traumatize me.
You are welcome.
Too deeply.
And I am sorry to end.
Emily to not be here.
We missed her, but she'll be back.
And we love you listeners very, very much.
I should have remembered like a melody from one of the songs, but I can't.
So I will say,
dancing, dancey, from all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
We did it.
We made it.
Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch.
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That was a HeadGum podcast.
What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris.
And Hannah Simone.
And we host The Mess Around, a new girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum.
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