Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE RITUAL with Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

Video episodes available on our Patreon!Movie Intro @ 27:02Recap starts @ 41:16TrailerFollow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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at schedule 35.co that's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use code shroom. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Hemley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and so I watch them so that you don't have to. And I'm not going to lie to you guys, we got a bad movie today. Bad, bad, bad. But we're gonna make it fun.

Yes. Don't you worry. Sammy did text me, she said, we're gonna have to make our own fun because the movie's not gonna do it for us. Okay, okay. We can do that, we're good at that. We're good at that.

We're good at that. Especially in current company. Mm-hmm, exactly. And you better believe we're joined by our horror spondent and Dan Stevens expert. Spondent. Dan Stevens Spondent. Priest Spondent.

Bad Exorcism movie Spondent. I feel like kind of like the godfather of our podcast a little bit. And also the godfather of our podcast. The godfather of our podcast is Paul F. Tompkins. What did you say? Pope of the Pod? Pope of the Pod.

Pope of the Pod! Oh my god! Introducing a new Pope. Pope! First American Pod Pope. This is exciting. First American Pod Pope, but not the first American Pope, not anymore. Too late for that. No American Pod Pope. This is exciting. But not the first American Pope, not anymore.

Too late for that. I'm thrilled to be here. I'm thrilled to be covering yet another Exorcism movie. Oh my God. Amazing. You're an expert at this point. We couldn't do it without you. I love to break old ground. Yes.

And there's just retread. Give me something tired. All those same themes, same story. We're not gonna be able to predict what, I'm not gonna be able to predict what happens. I'd be shocked. Okay. What could possibly happen.

I have no idea. In this movie. I think you can only predict when it happens. Okay. Got it. Sure. You know what happens. I for sure. But the trick is when does it happen?

Okay. Oh God. And we are gonna get it happen? Okay, oh God. And we are gonna get into all of that, of course. But before we do, just a touch of haunted housekeeping to let everybody know that our live show from Dynasty Typewriter, where we covered final destination bloodlines, will still be available for purchase at dynasty typewriter comm for one more week

And that's kind of it It continues um, but I will say too that that that will also because people been asking and also if you're like Well, I can't I I want to see the show, but maybe I also want to see every show That will also be on our Patreon in a week from today as part of Hell Chella video episodes. So you can check out the Patreon as well to get that and more and just binge watching us. Just binge watching us.

What could be better? I love that I'm doing everything exactly as I normally do and I'm not changed at all by Paul being here. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel good. Well, also we never get to do this in person for real and it is actually like throwing me.

Yeah, because also we're in like a real studio with cameras everywhere. Yeah, I'm like where do I look? What do I do with my hands? We're both doing this. A lot of this. Just the whole time. Just kangaroo it.

You just gotta rue it sometimes. You just gotta rue it. But this is, you guys have only done the studio very few times, right? Very few times. Yeah, and I think I've only done it once, and I don't think, was it a video episode? I mean, we were here,

but I don't think it was a video episode. It's always video at Headgum. Well, I don't think that they... Take them down. It was with Eggo, and I'm pretty sure we... Yeah, I don't know if we used the video for anything. Yeah, I don't think we did, actually. Hey, Headgum, where's that footage?

Yeah, let's release the footage. Release the tapes. I want to get that footage. Yeah, but anyway, so no, this is new to me. This is new to me. Well, speaking of scary things, because we're obviously all freaking out right now. Did anything scary happen to us this week?

Paul, would you like to go first as our pope of the podcast? Absolutely. I had something scary happen to me just today on my way here. Oh, that's so early. For something scary to happen. And here's the thing, I was the scary thing. Oh no, what'd you do?

I blew through a stop sign with so much authority. Like, and I, it's like one of those things where I'm not, I'm sort of on autopilot a little bit. And I'm coming up to an intersection and I see like somebody else stopped and I did not slow down. Like my reaction was just like, I'm going along, oh there's a stop sign.

Ah, nothing I can do about that now. I just kept going. So you saw the stop sign, but it didn't register. I absolutely saw the stop sign. But you sort of thought, oh, I can't stop now. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's out of your hands. It was out of my hands.

I can't keep you specific, but I can recall the sensation. I think I've had this. There's like a weird series of switches that is thrown where you're like, okay, he stopped, that's a, well, just keep going. I can't. Yeah, and then after I went through it, that's when I felt I was freaked out,

like what the fuck did I just do? There was another car stopped waiting, okay. Okay, okay. And I had that thing of like, do I do this often and I don't even register it? Like unsettling your whole perception of yourself and your driving. I have had not that moment of I'm choosing

to continue going, but like a full autopilot, like not paying attention at all, blowing through a red light in Burbank. Terrifying. And then, yeah, same thing immediately being like, ah! Coming to on the other side of the intersection, just like scary.

Oh my God. What have I done? Truly? Truly bad. The fact that we drive cars everywhere is so, and in any state. And I actually think that I'm like a really good driver. You are a really good driver.

You're a really good driver. Which is, if I'm doing that, think of what all these other people are doing. I'm telling you, driving is, or like, I'll have a lot, I'll be driving somewhere and I will realize about 10 minutes in that I haven't noticed anything that's happened to me in the last 10 minutes. Do you know what I mean? Just like, and I'm sure somewhere and I will realize about 10 minutes in that I haven't noticed anything that's happened to me in the last 10 minutes, you know what I mean?

Just like, and I'm sure some part of my brain was paying attention, but I'll be like, well, I'm here now? I was not present. Yeah, yep. Scary. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I was so afraid of driving.

I felt like I was gonna die every time I got in my car. Like every single time I got into my car, I was like, this could be it for me. And I just have to come to terms with that. I basically learned to drive here because I lived in San Francisco before this. So I took all public transportation. Yeah, you came from New York.

And it was like, okay, welcome to Los Angeles. Yeah, I came from New York. And also where I learned to drive was like country roads, like flat country roads, like no traffic, easy, easy, easy. Driving in LA is scary. And it's scary. But once you learn how to drive here, you can drive anywhere.

I was gonna say, that's I think also what makes me feel like I'm a good driver. Yeah, absolutely. You have some skill. Because when you think about it, everybody that comes here has to learn how to drive. So you're getting some of the worst drivers in the world. Yeah.

Because they're forced to do it. Yes. Right. It's competitive. That was me. That was me. That was me. Yes. I was the worst driver in the world.

No, it really does feel competitive sometimes. I felt so self-conscious about it. Like people would be like, oh, can I get a ride with you? And I'd be like, don't get in my car. I can't be responsible for your life. I'm remembering now because I learned to drive late in life.

I learned to drive when I was 40. And after living in LA for many years. Just last year then? God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. I learned to drive when I was 40. And after living in LA for many years. Just last year then? God bless you. God bless you. And early on in my driving career, I was driving my wife's car, and I missed a stop sign. It was like this wide, wide intersection. And I was going too fast. I got the need for speed.

And I did not see the stop sign, and I got t-boned by another car. I could still see this woman's face, slamming on the brakes and turning away, and totaled my wife's car. And so when that just happened to me today it like gave me that feeling of like yeah this is the worst thing you can do yeah it's like it's like you don't even look your hands yeah whose hands are these

who could do this? I mean it's real it's just crazy the stakes are so high. Yeah. And we just get in our cars and just freaking do it all the time. I know. I love it though. I love driving. Yeah. I really do. I hate driving.

Did you watch F1? I did not watch F1. I really wanted to drive after watching F1. Oh, really? You got to think of the speed. Because my drive home from that movie, because remember Joel and I drove separately, so I got to drive.

And I did feel this like, I felt this, people would be like, you could just step on the gas, or you could just really step on the gas, or whatever you want. Like, I was like so excited. I haven't seen it yet, but I saw Ferrari on Christmas Day, whatever year that was, by myself, which was really great. Oh, that's beautiful.

And drove home at like 10 miles an hour, because I was like, the car's going to explode, car's going to explode. Oh, sure, sure, sure. I mean, there's usually some scary crashes in it. Ferrari's the one where everyone has Italian accents, but nobody's Italian. Shailene Woodley's Italian accent is unbelievable.

Not to be confused with House of Gucci, but Adam Driver. Yes, Adam Driver is in both. Ferrari was a very confusing movie to me because it felt like it started... No, wait, is this just Ferrari or Ford versus Ferrari? This is just Ferrari. It's got its own thing. I think I saw Ford versus Ferrari, not Ferrari.

I didn't know there was a just a Ferrari, and it's also Adam Driver? Yes. What's Ferrari about? About the man himself. And is Ford versus Ferrari also about the man? No, that's about the companies. My God, oh sure, Ford.

Yeah. Who was also a guy. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Famously. To be fair to Ford, he was a guy too. Wow, okay, yeah.

Well, this actually, this being scared, well, the whole thing is being scared, but being scared that you're gonna die specifically, it feeds into my thing, which is a scary thing that has been happening to me lately, but I've really become more aware of it this week. So we have each other's locations turned on. I don't think I have your location on my phone anymore.

Oh, I have your location on mine. Okay, because I- I thought I had to go both ways. OK, Sheena. I was trying to find you during our Airbnb. And I was saying to Tim, I was saying, Tim, do you see her anywhere on this map? I don't see her anywhere on this map. OK, we got it.

I actually don't think I have Jenna and I was supposed to. Anyway, so here's the thing. And Tim was like, she doesn't want you to know. No, I really do. Here's the thing I really do. We'll fix it. So so we turned our locations on If you're serious about it

So this is a recent we've started watching each other's locations watching So this is a recent, we've started watching each other's locations, watching. Just all day. During the LA wildfires, because we all felt completely insane and manic and we're like, well, if you evacuate, I have to know where you are. And so it's meant to have been a soothing thing, right? Like a... Reassurance. Reassurance.

I, it has ramped up my anxiety to it, because now that I know I can see where my friends are all the time. You're like, you need to check in. I'm like, if they're not where I think they should be. Like, okay, so I'll be, I'm gonna come clean right now. I look at your guys' locations all the time. All the time.

You see that I'm just at the Tom Sagan's house, like literally every second of every day. But like, if you weren't for an extended period of time, I would be like, is, like, okay, so. Yeah, what's going on? So I, so last night. What's she doing at the library? I know, Laura and I are at the library.

Laura and I are at the library. Actually I'm at the library a lot. All right. So last night we saw, we saw Jurassic World Rebirth, really bad movie. And as I, we, as I was driving home on the 101, on the 101 in the other direction, did you see this?

So many sirens, so like an insane amount of sirens going the direction that we had come from. So I get home and I'm like, well I have to check on every single person that I was at the movie with to make sure that they weren't one of the ones in this crash. Yeah. But Marty called him out for a while.

He was like, I had to like really zoom in. I was like, okay, that's a gas station. He's fine. He's not homing, but, that's a gas station. He's fine. He's not homie, but he's at the gas station. And then you were like near your house, but you weren't at your house. And I was like, oh, we had to park so far. You parked, I know.

But like, I'm like, it's, and one time Joel was at a bar. He was at a bar. He said he was going to be at, but it was later than he said he was gonna come home. And so I was like, okay, well he is where he says he is, but he's not answering his phone, so maybe he's dead there. Like, it's like, it is, I am like losing my shit. And the other day, someone-

I think he's dead there in the bathroom, alone. Someone checked the bathroom. Like, if he got home and he was like, what did you think? I had like died at the table at Black Cat? And I was like, yes. And they just left me there? I was like, yes, I did think that.

No one called you, no one called you. And the other day too, I'd gotten so used to being to look at people's locations that a coworker was on her way in late to work. And I was like, oh, it's OK. I'll just check her location. I was like, I can't do that. I don't have her location.

I'm like, so you. It's like, I think I have to stop. I think it's. I was going to say, yeah, maybe it's served its purpose. And now it's time to stop. I think I have to stop. It's making me really unwell. You got to turn on Lose My Friend.

Yeah, Lose My Friend, exactly. Never tell me where my friend is. Emily, I'm sorry. That's so stressful. And like, the night of the show, the next day, because we stayed at an Airbnb together, and then the next morning I came home and I saw Joel and he was like, yeah, me and Marty went out

after we all hang out. And I was like, I know. I looked. I looked at where you guys were. I was tracking you. I know what bar you were at. I saw you there. And it's like, I know I looked. I looked at where you guys were. I was tracking you. I was tracking you. You guys were like, I know what bar you were at. I saw you there. And it's like, I have to stop.

I do that with Silas and Mae with Tim sometimes. When Tim's like coming home, I'll be like, let's look at daddy on the map. And we're like, doot, doot, doot, here he comes. And so it's weird that like small children are gonna think like, I can watch anyone where they are. It's a little, it's a bit of an invasion of privacy, I suppose.

I blame the pizza tracker, the. It's a little, it's a bit of an invasion of privacy, I suppose. I blame the pizza tracker, the Domino's pizza tracker. Yeah. But God bless the Domino's pizza tracker. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. No. And Amazon does it now too,

you could be like four stops away. Four stops away. Yes. I love that. I love to know where people are. You're so right, Domino's did it before anyone else could do it. They really did.

How did they get there? Wait, did you guys see the White House website had like essentially, Domino's did it before anyone else could do it. They really did. How did they get there? Wait, did you guys see the White House website had, like, essentially the Domino's tracker for the big, beautiful bill? It was, like, ripped off the Domino's website. Shut up. I hate where we are. God, I hate it.

Oh, my God. Just the Domino's tracker for the bill. Sorry to bring it up. We'll never do it again. Sorry to bring up the bill. Yeah. Okay, my scary thing is so quick. Sorry to bring it up. We'll never remember it. Sorry to bring up the bill. Um. Yeah. Damn. OK. My scary thing is so quick.

Basically, just last night, as I was so late, I made Silas an ice cream cake, and it took way too long. I would not have the first idea to make an ice cream cake. You just let ice cream melt a little bit, and then you put it in a pan. That's all it is. Now I have the first idea. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. That's not at all what I would have thought. I thought it was way worse, I thought it was way more complicated. So now I think that you would have to freeze it more. Yeah, well you do, you do, but in order to spread it, you have to let it melt. I see, that makes sense. You're just changing the shape of the ice cream.

Basically, and putting ice cream together in a new way. So and also I did short, I saw this on Instagram. So I did like shortbread crumbles with freeze-dried strawberries, like mix it up. And then you make that like the base. And then you do- Did you guys already eat it or are we gonna eat it today? You're gonna eat it today.

Yes. I made three of them, I made three of them. And then you do like vanilla ice cream and then strawberry sorbet and then more vanilla ice cream and then more shortbread strawberry crumbles, whatever. Anyway, but I had to do it after he went to bed. So, cause he couldn't see what was going on. It took so long.

Cause you have to like let each layer kind of freeze in order to do the next layer. Anyway, I didn't plan it well. So finally I'm going upstairs to go to bed. I'm so tired. I'm so, so, so tired. Also, I was listening to Joanne on Newsome. Do you guys listen to her? She put

me in a weird mood. Like those, her songs are really beautiful, but also like it's all harps and she sounds like Bjork and I don't know, it's a weird vibe for like making a birthday cake. But anyway, so I was like ready to go to bed. I get upstairs, go into our room, and I hear a beep beep. I'm like, hmm, is that a fire alarm? Beep beep. Oh no. I was like, poke my head out the window. I'm like, where's that coming from?

Beep beep. First, I think it's in our house. I'm like, okay, I can fix that. No, you guys, it's the house next to us. Oh, that's empty. Had some kind of like alarm on the outside. Wait, is it the sublime house? Wait, what's the house?

No, it's not the sublime house. There's the house next to this house where we're staying is where the drummer from Sublime lived. And there's a big plaque. There's a plaque on it that's called the sublime house. Um, anyway, so no, it's not that one. But, um, so like worst nightmare, like want to go to bed so badly.

And there's just like a beep beep. Every like minute. Every like minute, beep beep. So it was okay, I like shut all the windows. I got every sound machine in the room possible, turned the fan all the way up. I was like, if I have to, I'll wear my noise canceling headphones.

It'll suck, but I'll do it. And it was fine, but it was this moment of like terror, of like, I wanna go to bed so badly, and I'm not gonna be able to go to bed. Like, I was like, I'm gonna start crying. And Tim was like asleep, like Tim's like asleep, you know? And I was like, wake up, help me. Anyway, so that was tough, but we made it through

and I did sleep and it was fine. But it's still, when I left the house today, it was still beeping. Oh, it was still beeping. Like, is someone gonna fix that beeping? I was like, do I call the police? Can I call the police? Yeah, I mean, is the house empty?

That's a house of lime. Yeah, that's a house of lime. Do you think it's just nobody's been there? I think it must be empty. Cause like, how can you let this beeping go on? Is there anything worse than being so tired? Yeah. And having something keep you awake that you, that is beyond your control.

That's, that's, that specific feeling. It's so bad. I was a little like, should I go sleep on the beach? I'll sleep on the beach. I was feeling like crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel so helpless. You go into a different place. I'll sleep on the floor of Tim's parents' room.

Like, they'll wake up and I'll be like, yeah, I'll be in there. I had a bad dream. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Is it OK I'm here? Yeah, because everyone else's room is like more in the house.

And we just happen to be like in the back room by the alley where the alarm was. And oh, it's awful. Have you ever used these type of earplugs that are like gel? A loop? Yeah, a loop. Max.

They're like moldable. Yes. MAC? MACK, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about. They're kind of like waxy, and you just mold them into your ear so they don't hurt. They're really good,

but doesn't your hair sometimes get stuck to them? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Pro's and cons. I wouldn't know. I've not had any issues. But those are, I do work on them. I sleep with earplugs like every night.

That's true. And it hurts my ears, but I can't do it, sleep without them anymore. That's true. Like are you like in an allergy way or? What's your cats also make a lot of noise? No, like it's like, they like, like a little ache almost from having

a little sore. They're like sore. What kind. A little ache from having this pressure on my ear. What kind? Yeah. Like the rubbery ones, the spongy ones? Spongy ones. Remember when she was hearing angels? I don't know whether you were listening to that episode, but there was a period of time where-

I don't recall this anecdote. There was a period of time where Emily was hearing the voice of God in her ears. It was a little tinkly. Anyway, we figured out she had an ear infection from probably all the earplugs. But at first we were worried that it was maybe something was going on in terms of access

to the spiritual realm, I don't know. Do you know a weird thing that I have sometimes? And I don't know what causes this, but sometimes I'll be, with my head against the pillow, it almost sounds like voices, as if there's a TV on in the other room or something. Like a shell when you're hearing it. It's like here in the ocean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I lift my head off the pillow, nothing. You know what I do? You know what this, I hear sirens. I hear, I think I'm hearing police sirens go by. And you know what, but that's actually only been recently, and I think it's been since all the protests and the ICE raids because we heard them really, really loud past our place.

But now I always think I'm hearing them. Yeah. Guys, I think I need to relax. Yeah. I think I need to find some ways to relax. You should have a rain day. When? I know.

That's true. You're really busy in your job. I think I need to find a way to relax. That's gonna be my goal after this. Okay, we can do that. Yeah. Sammy, anything scary? Well, I recently went camping

and one night of the camping trip was- You better believe I was looking at your location. Was it visible? No, it said Sammy's on satellite only and I didn't love it, even though you told me where you were gonna be. Because yeah, we were off grid for part of it and I'm not a backpacker, had not done it before. And for this first time.

How many nights did you backpack? Just one, but it was a seven mile hike, starting at 8,000 feet elevation just one, but it was a seven mile hike, starting at 8,000 feet elevation with an additional two and a half thousand feet of elevation for the hike, which to me, these numbers didn't really mean anything planning. But it sounds like a lot. Like I was like, yeah, I can do that, totally.

As someone who's never done anything like that before, it was so hard. It was so hard. Well, also I'm gonna say to be fair, the person planning it for you and with you had done it a lot and should have known. Yeah. And he was a little like- The same thing happened to me though.

Yeah, he was kind of like, I think this is gonna be hard. I was kind of the one being like, I think I'll be fine. Like, I think I'm gonna be okay. Yeah. I have a backpack. I'm gonna be fine. 20 pounds on my back, never okay. Yeah. I have a backpack. I'm gonna be fine. 20 pounds on my back, never done that before. I wore a backpack to school every day.

Right. But we were going to a place in the Sequoias called Twin Lakes. And so it's like helpful for me that there's a destination that sounds nice. Like two lakes next to each other. You do love lakes. I love a lake, so I'm like, great. You're Gemini, you love twins. I love twins.

And so I'm like, as it's, the last mile was fucking horrible. It was just like straight up climbing. It's always like that. It's always like the last bit is the worst part. You're going insane. You're just like, how is it still going? It's still going, it's still going. It was miserable.

And then like, you get to the two lakes, you get to those lakes, those twin lakes. It's gonna be beautiful. We get to the lakes and- They totally suck. Was beautiful. But between two lakes, perfect spot for mosquitoes. Of course.

Of course, of course, of course. There were so many mosquitoes, which I did sort of anticipate, so luckily we had a lot of DEET, but like I was just dousing myself in DEET, and then you like kind of forget, and so sometimes you get DEET in your mouth when you're like, I'm just like tasting DEET. Do you know about like citronella patches?

I just don't trust anything that's not deep. Okay, fair. Citronella patch. That's what, so Tim has been eaten up in this back room that we're in. And he's like covering himself in citronella patches before he goes to bed. And it's really helping.

You like put it on your body. I'll add it to my arsenal. It doesn't like seep into you. I mean, who knows what it's doing? Who knows? Everything is seeping into us. Who knows who knows what it's doing Everything is seeping into us I'm I'm that's so true. I truly I'm like I'm past I can't possibly be worried about chemicals entering my body Yeah, there's everywhere. That's what I mean when mosquitoes are involved. It's like

During like I'll take the cancer is in yeah Yeah You're gonna say when you heard about the microplastics in glass? No, when I heard about the microplastics in our brains. Oh, that we have spoons in our brains? I was like, I don't care anymore. Right, I'm just like, how could I possibly?

I'm still walking around? What am I supposed to do about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, are we all just equally stupider? Did it just bring us all down a level to stup, so we're all? Because then that's fine. Then it's fine. We don't need to be as smart as we can. It's literally fine.

I don't care about being like- We don't need to be that smart. We don't need to be that smart. We figured out most of the stuff that we need. And look at us. That's true. We figured it out already. Look at what we're doing right now.

We don't know anything about it. Like I say often on this podcast, don't ask me anything. I don't know anything about anything. I don't know anything. And I still get to do that. Well, that's what our reviewers say. Yeah., I don't know anything about anything. I don't know anything. And I still get to do that. Well, that's what our reviewers say. Yeah.

These girls don't know anything about anything. Yeah, which is true. Which is true, you know? And I'm proud of that. I'm happier that way. If I'd been born as a hunter gatherer, I'd know so much, and I wasn't, and that's not my fault. So.

You can't hold us accountable for that. The gathering sounds miserable, doesn't it? Yeah, I was gonna say, actually, neither of those really sound that good to me, to be honest. But then your dumb ass cavemen are you like, you get to go gather stuff? Yeah, so much to hold. Yeah, so much to hold.

Yeah. And pre-baskets, or maybe not, cause I don't know. I'm sure they had pre-baskets. I'm sure they had something to hold things in. I have to imagine they would have determined their hands can only hold so much, you know? After a point, yeah.

But think about if you were there before that point. When all you had was the hands. Sure. Pretty crazy. Really makes you think. Really makes you think. Why didn't we evolve more hands? Yeah. Why wasn't that the more hands? Yeah. Right?

Why wasn't that the first thing that happened? Why didn't we stop at two? More like wed arms, you know? That you could just like a bath, you could draw things. Built-in baskets. Built-in arm baskets. Pouches.

Otters. Otters. They have little pockets. They have little pockets. And pouches. They have a little pocket for the rock. Yeah, got some notes for you, Evolution. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. the rock. Yeah, got some notes for you, evolution. Uh, on that note, should we talk about this week's movie? I guess so. I need to know what happens in it. You guys, I am in the process of moving to a new house, which is very exciting, but you know, it also gets pretty expensive. So what better time to try to find a few savings? You better believe I'm talking about Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. If you're like me, you sign up for free trials of things and then

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Free emails are applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only, varies by plan. We are going to be talking about the ritual, not the good one. Not the good one, not the one we already did. Not the one we've already covered, the ritual that came out this year, 2025, directed by David Medell, written by David Medell,

story by Enrico Natale, starring Dan Stevens, Al Pacino, Ashley Green, Abigail Cohen, and Patricia Heaton, and it is available to rent on VOD. But don't do it. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! But don't do it. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! But don't do it. Oh, it's there.

Because it has a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. Wait, it went up two? Because when I... I rented it at seven. Dan Stevens is on there like, 100%, 100%, 100%. Oh, it's his fake movie review account. Uh, 33 on Metacritic, it's fake movie review accounts. 33 on Metacritic, 4.5 on IMDB.

Yikes, you guys. You rarely see that. Yeah, these are bad, bad, bad. These are bad numbers. Budget is somewhere around one million and it made 2.3 million somehow. Whoa. Wow.

One million? Why? That's honestly kind of crazy. Why were people going to see this? It's all up there on the screen. Yeah. Wow. One million. Why? Yeah, that's honestly kind of crazy. Why were people going to see this? It's all up there on the screen. Yeah. Yeah. What did they pay Al Pacino to do this movie? I really wanna know what they paid.

What Al Pacino was making. Anybody. Anybody. Yeah, what they pay anybody. These are not small names. No. I'm pretty confused about a lot of things. I gotta say.

One million, like did they, was it a points thing where everybody convinced was like, we're all gonna be, we're gonna do quite well on this movie. This is gonna be. It's a passion project. When people get a load of another movie called The Ritual, everything's gonna be easy street. Never been done before.

Very confusing stuff. That's wild. Yeah, it is inspired by the true story of Emma Schmidt's exorcism in Iowa in 1928. Wait, and this is, okay, is this the exorcism from The Exorcist? It was, yeah, part of that inspiration as well. I mean, we're gonna watch the trailer. Uh-huh, yes.

And I hope that this version of the trailer will include this. But I, we're gonna watch the trailer. Uh-huh, yes. And I hope that this version of the trailer will include this. But I, before watching this movie, I watched it, when you told me this is the movie we're gonna do, I watched the trailer. And the first thing that you see is words on the screen that say,

Oh no. The true story that inspired The Exorcist. Why would you ever name check a good movie, the most famous exorcism movie, and then say, now we're gonna do it. We're gonna also do it. I could not believe this. That movie that we just talked about, I forgot it, forgot it, forgot it.

Oh my God. Very interesting, but I actually, this is, I mean, maybe this was mentioned in that we just talked about, I forgot it, forgot it, forgot it. Oh my God. Very interesting, but I actually, this is, I mean, maybe this was mentioned in the Exorcist, but I didn't recall that that was in Iowa. I don't know, I think it was just like a more loose inspiration. Yes. I don't think, this one is more-

No, it wasn't in Iowa, it was in DC or something, I feel like. Yeah, and in present day at the time. Yeah, right, exactly. Whereas this is a period piece. This is a period piece, okay. Yeah, this one is like- Does it take This one is like specifically going from, yes, the documented, because this was the most extensively

documented exorcism in history. Got it. And the exorcism, I guess, lasted for several months. Oh no. And. So it was a really horrible. The exorcism, I guess, lasted for several months. Oh, no. Uh, and... So it was a really horrible, bad exorcism. Like, a really sloppy job. And there's part, we'll talk about it a bit in the movie too,

but there's like, as a child, Emma Schmidt had an exorcism done, and then, like, many years later, the demons returned. Well, because they bailed on it. Oh, they couldn't finish. It was Al Pacino tells its first exorcism, it's like, look, I was green. And then they decided, okay, maybe she has more psychological problems.

It's not actually us, it's her. And then she seemed fine, but then later, the demons were like, you fell into our trap. Oh, no. Demons always sound like that, it's so weird. They play the long game. Yeah. Yeah, what else do they have to do?

True. Yeah, that's true, demons. I know, it's a great point. They're in no rush. They're immortal. They live in hell. They literally do whatever they want. Being productive, they're not out here like, you know, making clothes or.

Yeah, they've got to. They're not out here making clothes. Do anything for themselves. Am I out here weaving baskets? Yeah, hunting, gathering. What? What other movies has Appochino done recently? Yeah, I have that question too.

I have no idea, but I did wanna at some point bring up his finest role, Jack and Jill. I don't know if anybody. Which wasn't that long, well, God, I guess it was. What's Jack and Jill? Is that 10 years ago? Jack and Jill is the movie where Adam Sandler plays a twin brother and sister and Al Pacino falls.

Well, you love twins. She's fucking lots of twins. I love twins. And Al Pacino falls in love with the sister version and he's genuine, he really gives it his all. Amazing. To be fair, I haven't seen it since it came out. I'm sure it's extremely problematic.

Yeah, sure, seems like it, seems like it. But I remember being like, wow, Al Pacino is so funny. Whoa, going for it. And he gave us the famous Dunk-A-Chino commercial where part of the movie, I've not seen the movie. Okay. Part of the movie, Duncan Donuts is involved and they are making a.

I gotta re-watch this movie. A cappuccino or something. And somehow they get Al Pacino to be the spokesman. It says, don't call me Al Pacino anymore, now call me Dunkacino. Oh. And there's like a little song in everything that he does. Wow.

Oh wow. Wow, perfect. Just watch that. Yeah, look that up on YouTube. Yeah there's like a little song in everything that he does. Wow, wow, wow, perfect. Just watch that. Yeah, look that up on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, write that. Is this where we should talk about Al Pacino's personal life? Yeah, I think we absolutely should.

It's like, it's Elyton in the room. Is this where we're obliged to talk about how he's any? Click on that tab, personal life. Yes. A new father, I'm not sure if the baby has been born yet, but this is like, we've talked a lot about age gaps in relationships and how it's like usually a guy 30 years older than a woman.

And this one has gone so far that I think actually Al Pacino is the victim again. Yeah, it's elder abuse. It's now it's elder abuse because yeah, he's, we just looked it up, 85 or something. Yeah, it's elder abuse. It's now it's elder abuse. Because yeah, he's, we just looked it up, 85 or something. And the mother of his youngest child. Fourth child together. With this woman.

I think it's the fourth with this woman. Four, you see me holding up four fingers, I can't stop. Well that doesn't make any sense, because isn't she like 26? She's 29. So when do they start having babies? I can't stop. Well, that doesn't make any sense because isn't she like 26? She's 29. So when do they start having babies? I don't know. Maybe it's his fourth child generally, but I don't think it's his first with this woman,

which means she was younger than 27 when they got together, which. You know, it's a bad situation all around. It's bad for everyone. We'll say, I'm not blaming her, but I'm also like, this seems really sad for him too. I don't like it. Sad for these children.

Sad for the children. Everything's bad, but it does come to mind when watching this movie where I'm like, well, is this part of the reason that he's doing this movie because he has babies to support? Babies now. Or he's doing this for his legacy, I feel like. So they'll grow up and know my dad was in the ritual.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm like, how could... You know what, don't pay me anything. Exactly, exactly. This is for the kids. This is for my kids. This is for my kids. You know, this really is bringing to mind how little I know about how money works too,

because I'm like, how could Al Pacino still need more money? You know what I mean? I think about this a lot, and I think there are people, of course, who have terrible ideas about how to more money. You know what I mean? I think about this a lot, and I think there are people, of course, who have terrible addictions, like gambling or whatever. There are people that, like Nicolas Cage, who just is like, I'm gonna buy 80 houses

around the world. Like an island or whatever. Somebody said real estate is a good investment. It's like you're still spending all your money. It's like, I'm gonna do all the real estate. Yeah. But then some people I think just, I think they just can't not do it.

I think they just can't not do it. But then, what was he getting paid? Like $10,000 for this movie? Like if the budget's a million, I can't. It doesn't make any sense. I would flabbergast if the budget was a million dollars for this. It's almost like maybe that's wrong.

Maybe that's. Maybe it's wrong. We pray to God it's wrong. Pray to God it's wrong. Pray to God. Pray to priest Al Pacino or Pope Paul. Pray to Pope Paul. Yeah, it's confusing to me on so many levels. Because also what's Dan Stevens' excuse?

And honestly, that's a larger question. I will say this. Chance to work with Al Pacino. Yes, I think that's his excuse. And honestly, that's a larger question. I will say this, chance to work with Al Pacino. Yes, I think that's on paper. You're like, oh, okay, true. And he is, he's such a like actor's actor. I'm sure he was very excited to do it. True, true. We love, it all makes sense.

We love Dan Stevens on this podcast, even though. In this podcast? We love Dan Stevens. These reps won though. In this podcast? We love Dan Stevens. His reps won't let him come talk to us. He's a rep. His reps won't let him. His reps won't let him. His reps won't let him.

He's dying to. He's going to be here so badly. Dan, you are forbidden. It's crazy. He really wants to be here. He's texting me from a burner phone right now. Yeah. It's honestly nuts. He's in me from a burner phone right now. Yeah. It's honestly nuts.

He's in the bathroom. Just give Dan what he wants. Anyway. Yeah, we do love Dan Stevens. We really do. I love the guy. But this movie was just, there's no way around it. It's a tough one.

I need you to just tell me. You've said it, so I need to know. Well, yeah. Let's first watch the trailer. Watch the trailer. Okay. Brethren, put on the armor of God that you might withstand the devil.

This is a very troubled woman kissing at the side of a church. The woman's parish wishes to attempt a solemn... Yeah, I get the gist. You mean an exorcism. Yeah, was this shot of handheld camera? This is why it was a million dollars. There's a lot of hand help.

Yeah, I can tell. It looks like a home video from 2002. We are the Lord's army in this battle. He actually looks pretty good. Yeah, he doesn't look terrible in this. He actually looks better in this than he does in real life. That's what I'm saying. He actually looks better in this than he does in real life. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, wait, he actually looks kind of normal. He looks like Brice Dahl.

What if what she really needs is a doctor? We are paying a price for your lack of faith. By your holy resurrection. Deliver us, oh Lord. Oh my gosh, she's mad at them, is not a green and twilight thing. All right. It's just what you are doing to the voices. The sisters are traumatized. Oh, I feel like I'm being drawn into something.

I can't sleep. I can't think for us to be divided. It's trustful. I like those little glasses. We are the ones that stand in the rage. Oh, yeah, those are good. Those are really good. And hold back the darkness. He's quiet in his movie, too.

Like, he's on the other side of yelling. Mm-hmm. So he starts out 70, quiet. Her little glasses are fun, too. Yelling starts in the 90s. He keeps yelling and going. Because it's so much too. Yelling starts in the 90s. Keeps yelling and goading. Reveal yourself! Yeah!

Whoa. Emma? Emma? Emma, you almost lost. Yeah, no. Can't see a single thing. Sure. The ritual.

Crazy. Absolutely. Oh my God, I forgot it was in theaters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of questions. I really, I want to see Dan Stevens in something really good again.

I really want to see that. Yeah, I think the biggest question is just how did anyone, like, in any phase, it's just like the most been done thing in the world. I mean, they even literally said it. Yeah, it's not, yeah, they admit it right on the gate. Look. It's been done. It's been done thing in the world. I mean, they even literally said it. Yeah, it's not, yeah, they admit it right on the day. Look. It's been done.

Listen up. Here's what you're not gonna catch us on. Yeah. We're not thinking we're original. But it is, it's not, this is not a like so bad, it's good. It's not, it's not that it's cheesy. It's not fun. It's just that it's like, it's pointless.

It's absolutely been done before and it's been done before better. And it's it's like, it's pointless. It's absolutely been done before and it's been done before better. And it's really just like, well, it's a true story. So I guess we can do a movie about this too, if we want to. And I'm like, oh, hey. Like the 9%, sometimes, usually less than 10% is so bad, it's entertaining.

Yeah. Sad to hear that wasn't the case. No, it was, I mean, and you know what? I've seen worse movies than this, but it just really felt like, why are we doing this? Honestly, probably because these are really good actors, so it's like not going to be bad and silly in that way, because I'm sure they're giving pretty good performances.

So then it does just sort of feel like, for what? Yeah. Yeah, yep. So should we play just sort of feel like, for what? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So should we play like Scategories or something instead? I'm not sure how to play that, but. I keep bringing it up because I keep hoping someone is gonna learn how to do rules and teach me.

Yeah, you don't know them either. Oh! You don't know them either? You're just intrigued by the idea. Yeah, I really wanna know. Does anyone know? Do you know? How the categories get scattered? No, I do not. Yeah. Okay, well I guess instead we have to talk about the idea. Yeah, I really wanna know. Does anyone know? Do you know? How the categories get scattered?

No, I do not. Yeah. Okay, well I guess instead we have to talk about the ritual. I do like to talk about demons, I do like to talk about, so let's just try to do this, let's try to just have fun with that.

There's plenty to talk about with the demons, so we'll see that. Yep. There's, yeah, there's a lot going on. Okay. There's a lot going on. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it. there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Agent Nate Russo returns in Oracle 3, Murder at the Grandview, the latest installment of the gripping Audible original series. When a reunion at an abandoned island hotel turns deadly, Russo must untangle accident from murder. But beware, something sinister lurks in the Grandview's shadows.

Joshua Jackson delivers a bone-chilling performance in the supernatural thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Don't let your fears take hold of you as you dive into this addictive series. Love thrillers with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. Listen now on Audible. Guys... we start, of course, with some white text on a black screen.

Yes. The following is based on true events. The events were transcribed by Father Joseph Steiger. This story represents the most thoroughly documented case of demonic possession in American history. It's also so funny, because it's like, that doesn't make something interesting. Right. Or true.

Right, right, right. Like what's this tiger guy's deal? It's just so funny to be like, so, you gotta pay attention because people wrote about this. It's like that, not like the most sensational or like the, we could have picked something else, maybe. No, there were extensive notes and- They were detailed and guess what?

So we see intercut between production company information. We see a priest staggering out of a room where there's a bunch of yelling going on. This is Dan Stevens, our hero, intercut with production credits at one point. I'm watching this with my wife and we both at the same time said, Buzzfeed Studios? I have it in my notes as well,

what the fuck, Buzzfeed Studios. Maybe this is based on a quiz. Yeah, like 37 ways to be exercised. Yep. To be exercised. What prince of hell are you? Dancy was having a really hard time, the yelling continues, he gets his courage back up, What kind of exercise? What prince of hell are you? Dan Stevens was having a really hard time.

The yelling continues. He like gets his courage back up, goes back in and a woman in a nasty nightgown lies against the wall. Guess what? This is not where the story happens. Okay. We're going back nine days earlier, early Iowa, 1928. Dan Stevens is a priest.

He's at the altar saying mass. Attendance, not great, I have to say. There are a bunch of extremely attractive nuns there. I have that in my notes as well. Hot nuns, hot father. You see him, he's having a hard time. Cut to the congregation. There's a gallery of nuns and you're like, there!

There are so many. There really are. Is that Ashley Greenene one of those? Yep. She's hot! Oh yeah. Dan Greene mentions at the altar, thank you for your thoughts and prayers

because his brother died last week. So that's why he's bummed out. That's why he's bummed out. He's a little close up of the hottest nun in history, Sister Rose, played by Ashley Greene. Then here comes Patrick Fabian from Better Call Saul. He is a bishop. He has Dan Stevens in his office,

a big binder psychological profile of this woman named Emma. The bishop tells Dan Stevens, hey man, you gotta ride shotgun on this exorcism. This is like we very, this is obviously a big deal. We don't do a lot of exorcisms, but this is bad and you got to do it and they're going to do it

here at your church. Dennis, he was like, bye church. Nobody, of course you don't want an exorcism done at your church for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like attendance is already really bad. The bishop is like his boss. That's the hierarchy of, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also- The bishop says, Job, you say, how high? Also, we mentioned there is some shaky cam. A lot of the reviews were like, feels like you're watching an episode of the office or succession.

And I did notice in this scene when the bishop and priest are going to shake hands, it like doesn't capture the action. It just kind of zooms in on his wrist. I wish I had. So the cam's a little too shaky. They're like, and then he kind of zooms in on his wrist. I wish I had done that. So, there's a little tooth-shaking and they're like, handshake off screen.

Ah, we missed it. God damn it. Keep going. Keep going. We all have a million dollars. The budget's only one million. All the actors are doing this for free. Should we cut the handshake out? No!

Keep it with the wrist. They'll know what's happening. So, Dan has to agree, you know, it looks pretty bad. So some nuns are getting an exorcism room ready. Dan Stevens is calling for a limo to pick up the possessed girl from the train station. Should give her some nice first change. Yeah, absolutely.

He's having a really hard time. He's talking to this guy on the phone like, and you have to understand, she's gonna be in a weird state or whatever. Oh, that's so funny. I'm sure the guy on the other end's like, okay, Matt, don't worry about it. I feel like That's so funny. I'm sure the guy in the other end's like, okay Matt, don't worry about it. I feel like it's not normal.

I feel like they normally transport the, it's like you go to them usually, right? I don't know. I would imagine. I don't know. No, you're not traveling someone who has demons inside of them. You guys don't like the demon inside of them.

I don't think. No, you don't. I don't think any real specific reason is given why they need to do it there, right? I don't recall. Because they have $1 million in one location. Yeah, the nuns are the hottest nuns. But again, it's like, you didn't have to mention that.

Right, right, right. Just show us a room, we don't know where it is. Make her local. We've never been here. Literally never been to a court. You're writing this. Make it that she lives there already. They're like, we need more stuff happening,

so let's just have a whole thing with getting her there. So, they get the girl in, she goes right to sleep. Then we see Al Pacino praying in church. See him from behind, you know it's Al Pacino. He's dressed like a friar. He's got like a friar tuck robe on. I'm sorry, I'm gonna need to, what does that mean? Like the brown robe with the hood, like a monk.

Like in Robin Hood, Have you seen Robin Hood? Right, right, right. What does that mean in relation to priest-bishop? He is a priest. He is a priest, but he's a different order or something. All monks are priests, but not all priests are monks. Exactly, exactly. All monks are priests. All monks are priests.

I don't know this at all, but maybe he's a monk. Okay, so he's sort of like same tier as Dan Stevens? Yeah. Okay, so it goes- So he's called father. So it goes priest slash friar, then bishop. Are you ready to go all the way up to the top? And then cardinal.

Archbishop. Then archbishop. Then cardinal. Then cardinal, then pope. Then pope, il papa. Il papa. Which this part, these two I only know because of- Conclave. Conclave. Si. Si the pope. The pope. Which this part, these two I only know because of conclave.

Conclave. Yes. Yes, of course. Of course. Really? Really. I do recall reading in the Wikipedia plot summary that Al Pacino is a Capuchin priest,

which I was like, isn't that a monkey? That's a kind of monkey. It's kind of like a monk. Monk is in monkey. Right? And cappuccino is a coffee. That's Italian. Alpaccino, duncaccino, Jack and Jill.

All the money. We did it. We did it. And that's why he did the movie. And that's why he did the movie. That's why he did the movie. This will be my second Chino... It's going to be a trilogy of of Al Pacino Chino films. Oh.

So Dan Stevens welcomes him. He brings him to the Mother Superior of the Nuns, who's played by Patricia Heaton. Super Catholic in real life. Also, no belly button. Wait, why does she have a belly button? She got like a tummy tuck, and then she was like, I don't need a belly button, get rid of it.

She chose to get rid of the belly button? Yeah. Aesthetically? I think it was offered as a choice. She was like, yeah, I don't care. What? What? I didn't know people were doing that.

I didn't either. You don't need it. You don't need it, but it's scary to not have it. Doesn't that feel like a coverup for something else? Wasn't that TV show, Kyle XY or something? That where like the whole- That's how you know that he's not a human? Cause he doesn't have a belly button.

I just, the only thing I remember about the show, I never watched it, but like all the ads were just him with no belly button. Oh, I remember that! Like, he lifted up his shirt. It's weird. What? Then how was he born?

Oh yeah, that was weird. You're telling me this, Kyle XY has no belly button. Every episode. The whole show is just that. I'm freaking out. I'm... This is really blowing my mind. Yeah, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she's like... And she, like, announces this to the world,

because she wasn't showing it in this movie, right? I think there was a picture. I didn't miss a scene where this nun lifted up her habit. Like, all the way from the bottom to nun habit. Interesting. I could be wrong, but I think this is a true thing. Did she think the belly button was like an eyesore? I honestly don't think that she was asked for comment.

I think it was a picture that was captured of her on the beach. Well, Patricia Heaton's belly button is a suggested search item. So it's got to be real. And here's the picture on the beach. Well, Patricia Heaton belly button is a suggested search item. So it's gotta be real. And here's the picture on the beach. And the article is called, Where's Her Belly Button? Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! The article is called, Where's Her Belly Button? In Glamour Magazine. And she says, she says they got rid of it?

I'm sorry, I know that this is like not what, I mean, I guess the movie's stupid, we can just talk about this the whole time. Yeah, like I said, we have to make our own fun. And this is it. Oh. I mean, yeah, no, it's what Paul said. She cannot be reached for comment.

Her silence on this is deafening. The whole world is watching. So, Patricia Heaton, she's Polish, why not? She, Patricia also doubts that this is not psychological. Now this is a recurring theme in this goddamn movie, is everybody's like, I know we're doing an exorcism, but are we sure that that's what the problem is here? And as we will see, people should stop asking this question very quickly, but they don't.

But they don't believe women. Al lays it out that he needs a team of three in the room and Dan Stevens is gonna take notes. He's gonna be like the court reporter of this exorcism. Which is weird because he's a priest. And it's like, I just need some people standing around, you other priests. Yeah, it could have a priest. And it's like, I just need some people standing around, you other priest, I need you to take this.

Yeah, it coulda been anybody. Yeah. Right. Sister Rose bursts in, says possessed girl's refusing food, she says I'm like a cat. Dan says make the food again, but this time don't bless it. Whoa. Is he gonna be like a prodigy at Exorcisms?

Is that what this movie's really about? Boy, he's not Henley. Damn it. I don't know if this is the opposite of a spoiler alert, but no, he is not. Okay. Let's do that. Dan goes to visit Emma, and she seems very fragile.

There's a cigar box and some letters like strewn all over the floor, like a table knocked over. He goes in and he picks them up and he puts them on the table. And she like gets out of her chair, she staggers to bed. Dan sees like there's scratches on the back of her legs. They chat for a little bit. She's very weak and very tired.

And then he goes to leave and then he hears a clatter, turns around, the table with the letters and the cigar box is knocked over again. And he's like, huh, he just leaves. I'm not gonna get into that. Dan and Al have a conversation. Dan does not want restraints. He says, is that really necessary? We have to tire up and everything,

because maybe it is just a psychological issue. Al quotes a crazy statistic. 99 times out of 100, an exorcism is not needed. What? That still seems like a lot of exorcisms needed. 99 times out of 100? Yeah. Wait, 99 times out of 100 you don't need to do the exorcism?

Or you do need to do? Yeah, you don't. You don't. That still seems like a lot of exorcisms needed. Yeah. Like if he had said. Like one out of 100 you seems like a lot of exorcisms needed. Yeah. Like if he had said... Like one out of 100, you do need to have an exorcism. Yes.

You should have said it that way. If you said one in a thousand, one in a hundred thousand. Yes, yes. Right. But one in a hundred, that's a lot of demons running around. One in a hundred, that's a lot of demons. A lot of teeny tiny demons entering mostly. Well, unless it's only happened 100 times.

And then he's really saying there's only been one time we've ever needed to do it. Are we going modern times since we've started taking notes during these things? Or are we going back to the Bible where there's a bunch of demon possessions? Oh, there's a bunch of those in the Bible? More than you'd like.

You know, this is the first I'm hearing that there's demon possessions in the Bible. Oh yeah, baby, absolutely. I didn't know. I just kinda thought it was like stories about those guys. Okay. There was, it's a lot of stories,

but some of the stories involved them doing exorcism. In the Bible? There's a famous one where, what is it, like, the devil tries to take somebody over. Jesus, like, much like we saw in the Pope's exorcist, Jesus diverts them into like a herd of pigs. And the pigs run off the cliff. That's true, the pigs run off the cliff.

That's the most famous one. Running the pigs off the cliff, yeah. This is in when Jesus is alive, he's doing these. Yeah, but it's actually pretty rare. Like demons and the devil, like, oh, don't really come up that much in the Bible. That was kind of a Dante's Inferno, like modern day invention of trying to keep people in line

by scaring them. The Bible is mostly God being a real fucking asshole in the first, in the Old Testament, like a real douchebag. Like, you don't need demon and the devil because God is like such a piece of shit. Yeah, so that's the Old Testament. And that is such a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the Old Testament.

God is such a piece of shit. He's such a piece of shit in the Old Testament. The devil is one thing. Yeah. The devil is the serpent. For real. Yeah. That's it.

That was enough. And then the New Testament is, you know, Jesus comes in and is like, sorry about my dad, you guys. Now God is only going to kill one person? For everybody. And follow me and I shall heal everyone and care for the sick. And the New Testament is more that vibe.

The devil shows up a couple times specifically to give Jesus a hard time. And to run those pigs off the cliff. Right, because he's like, I'm the bad guy now. And to run those pigs off the cliff. Aw. That's my expertise on the Bible. No, I loved that, honestly. Wow. I didn't know about the cliff. Aw. That's my expertise on the Bible. No, I loved that, honestly.

Wow. Yeah, I didn't know about the pigs. Obviously, the devil is part of the whole thing. I just sort of thought that... That would be more in the Bible? No, I thought it wasn't in the Bible. Oh, it's kind of not really in the Bible. I think there's just the Genesis story of the snake,

which is interpreted as the devil. But also, I don't fucking know. I really don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's also Lucifer, morning star, who fell from heaven. Who's Satan. Some say that he's Satan,

and then some people say he's not Satan. Satan was his own guy. Yeah. But Lucifer was a fallen angel who went to hell. But I feel like that was more like Paradise Lost, John Milton. I feel like those were like more like, like modern day interpret.

I don't know if that's in the Bible. I kind of felt like Christians, Christians, the people came up with like demons and stuff. Well, I accept that they're real, obviously. So they, I mean, they're just, yeah, going back by facts. They're just going by facts. Yeah.

I recently rewatched the original Disney Cinderella cartoon movie, you know? And the cat of the stepmother, its name is Lucifer, and I forgot, but that's the name of that mean cat who tries to eat Gus Gus. Yeah, that's nice. Lucifer, that's a really good name for a cat. That's a good name.

Yeah, that's really good. We gotta bring it back. Let's bring it back. There's nothing wrong with that name. No. All right, next day, Al addresses the team, Dan, Sister Rose, additional none. Al says, we gotta stick together on this.

Everybody, this is gonna be hard, but we're gonna be a team. They start ritual one. Ding ding ding ding ding. Round one, everyone, round one. We're like 18 minutes into the movie at this part, and it's like at the exorcism, and I was like, what is this movie gonna be?

How long is the movie? Is it a Chris in 90 minutes? I think it's just over 90. Oh, it's 30, yeah. Yeah, so it's not that it's overly long, it's just that it's just this. It's just this over and over again. If you're calling me the ritual.

And you're starting the ritual like. 18 minutes in. Yeah, yeah. It's like, is the rest of this gonna be a real time ritual? Yeah. Is it? No. No. This is round one. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. This is round one, ding, like, is the rest of this gonna be a real-time ritual? Is it? No. No. Oh, this is round one. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

This is round one, ding, ding, ding. Yes. Al starts reading from the Bible, taking it, like, taking us in smooth. Emma's stricken, her face starts contorting, and I could not tell if she was doing that herself. Or if it was CGI. Yeah.

She was good, I thought. She was good. She does, Emma, what's her name? The actress name. I, Abigail Cohen, I thought. She was good. She does, Emma, what's her name? The actor's name. I, Abigail Cohen, I think is her name. She's great throughout this whole thing, I thought. Yeah, I thought she was, I thought she was very good and scary.

It almost makes it worse though. They're all so good that it makes it worse. I know. They're too good for this stuff. I know. I'll throw some holy water on her, she collapses. That's all for today. Okay!

Yay! Yep, packing it in. Startin! Yep, packin' it in. Startin' slow, startin' slow, baby steps. I was like, what the fuck? I'm so happy. Yes, it's like we start slow. So they put her to bed, Dan watches her for a bit. There's the first of two jump scares.

She has like a hypnagogic jerk in the bed. Bah! And then that's it. Okay. Then she goes back to sleep, and he's fine. So then the sister roses in her little bedroom, the nuns barge in, they want the hot gossip, the actress is like, what happened, what happened,

what happened? And she, it was so funny to me. And then she shoes them out, she's like, it was fine. What? It was fine. It was fine. Okay. Of all the things to say. It was perfect. It was fine. It was fine. Okay. Of all the things to say.

It was perfectly average. It was fine. It was perfectly average. You'd seen them before. You didn't miss anything, it was fine. Go to bed. Ritual two. Round two.

Al starts ding ding ding. Al starts reading from the Bible. Emma's contorting, cracking her neck. She stands up, she looks very mean. She grabs Dan Stevens' hands and makes him get to second base with her. Whoa. So the sex stuff has started already.

She's got the hands, she's putting them on there. He's like looking away like, oh my God, this is mortifying. I don't even like this at all. Oh! I can't look at my hand doing that. But this time the camera's on the hands? They pull.

Tss, they gave him a shot. It's not. It's not? camera's on the hands? They pull, they get a shot. It's not. It's mostly on him looking uncomfortable. Okay. They pull Emma off of them, but she picks up Sister Rose by the hair, like off the ground, like grabs her like at the front of her hair

and like picks her up, feet dangling. Owie. And then like they grab her, they get her out of there. They go into the little ante room. Dan says to Al, she can't be allowed to do that. We can't have this going on. You're like, there are no rules here, sir. Al says as nicely as possible, not using these words.

Yeah, dumbass, that's why I said she should be restrained. Yeah. Yes. And Dan reluctantly agrees to the restraints. Ritual three. Woohoo! So Sister Rose has to take a break. A new hot nun fills in for her.

Wow. And is freaked out by the restraints. Al begins with Emma tied to the bed. Emma's now, she's contorting violently as he's reading from the Bible. Furniture moving around. Eyes rolled all the way back in her head. She's speaking in a different language.

All in this room are full of sin. Al sticks a crucifix in Emma's face. She lets out a crazy loud demonic scream where everybody's like covering their ears. Then it's quitting time for the day. Oh, packing it in again. Beautiful. You gotta have work-life balance no matter your job.

So good. In the locker room, Dan, well, it's like, they always go to this, like Dan's office or whatever. And Dan's like, maybe it's epilepsy? Wait, okay, so is that what they're trying to, What about the furniture? This is the thing, this is the problem with a kind of movie like this,

is that you can't be denying the things that we are seeing. Right, right. Right, we have to all be on the same page. That we know the characters have also seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't, epilepsy doesn't make furniture fly around. No. Also, you can't.

Of all people to buy into a demon possession, shouldn't it be you guys? One thousand percent of a percent. Isn't that your whole fucking deal? But throughout this whole thing, and I feel like we've seen this. We saw in the Pope's exorcist, too, where it's like, no, we can't buy the fucking cardinals.

And we're talking to the titular Pope's exorcist, saying, I doubt an exorcism is needed. I don't get this angle, and it's not really explained, but Dan and the other religious figures in this movie, for the longest time are like, I don't think, there's gotta be some other explanation for this. Is it because, historically, if someone was experiencing exorcism, especially like a woman,

it was because something horrible was actually happening to her. Someone was abusing her, she was going through something bad. And so the fact that they were like, no, it's a demon, was actually happening to her. Someone was abusing her, she was going through something bad. And so the fact that they were like, no, it's a demon, instead of listening to her and helping the real problem. It's almost like that's what they're trying to like. But this is after.

There's a fucking huge binder of all these psychological tests that they've done on her. And it's like, this is why we're doing this. We ruled everything else out. And also, even if something horrible is happening, you can't throw furniture around the room all of a sudden. Like that is like. Oh, wouldn't that be so nice?

Yeah, it would be really nice. Oh, I wish. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Fucking wish. Yeah. So Dan can't get to sleep. Amass the next day is having exorcism flashbacks. He's troubled by this.

Ritual four, ding, ding, ding. Al cracks open the Bible. Emma's just lightly crackling on the bed, you know? She starts talking in another voice and her eyes go black. She starts screaming, remove the chaplet. What's a chaplet? Glad you asked.

Okay. A chaplet is like a rosary, but it's just beads. Cute. So you can use it. A chaplet is like a rosary, but it's just beads. So you can use it. So cute. That's the cutest thing. Did you get a chaplet? Cute. Oh my God, cute.

Cute chaplet. Oh my God, cute chaplet. You should think about maybe at your job, floating the idea of a chaplet, selling some chaplets. I think it's a chaplet. So I believe it does not have the crucifix on it, and you don't do set prayers to it like you do with a rosary,

but it's just a sort of concentration effort or whatever. So one of the nuns secretly had a chaplet. I don't know why it had to be a secret. Yeah, she doesn't know it. But she was hiding it from people. That's weird. And so she has to get rid of the chaplet. Then Al is- Do they explain in the movie what a chaplet is, or you just know this? No, no, no, no. Nice. This is to get rid of the chaplet. Then Al is-

Do they explain in the movie what a chaplet is or you just know this? No, no, no. Nice. This is something, I did look this up. Oh, okay. I did look this up. Al essentially asks,

with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking? Oh, you have to speak to the deep. And he's pressing the crucifix to her head and she's screaming in this voice, I am Mina and if you do that again, you will eternally regret it. Mm-hmm. I'm Mina? I am Mina.

Ich bin Mina. She's speaking German now, which Al Pacino also speaks. Can understand, yeah. He speaks every language in this movie. This is my one of two questions. Yeah. Where is Al Pacino from? Do they say in the movie?

It like feels like a vaguely Italian accent, but no, I think it's more German, actually. Maybe. His name is Theophilus. Theophilus, yeah, you can't really place that. Greek? It sounds Greek to me. Mm-hmm, it's all Greek to me.

And it means lover of God, I think. Theophilus? Sounds right. Seems. But we never really say. Yeah. So he's doing vague, I think, Theophilus. Sounds right. Seems. But we never really say. So he's doing vague, I am from another place. Yep. Which means he can speak every language.

Emma starts to gag, and they're like, get the bucket. Get the bucket. She throws up what looks like a sword of Oregon. There's a close up, but I can't figure out what it is. The close up really got me, because I was like, you're showing this, we should recognize what this is, because it lingers on it,

can you believe she just threw that up? And I'm like, I don't know what that is. I couldn't quite get a grasp on the shape of it. I couldn't, it was just, it's a mass. Yeah, but she shouldn't throw up. And nobody says what it is either. It's kind of like oily, like tarry liquid, so it is either. It's kinda like oily, like curry liquid, so. It seems bad.

It's gross. Yeah. Yeah. This was a moment that I really enjoyed. Dan Stevens goes into his office, closes the door, leans against it, and rubs his face and it's a real like, hoo boy!

Which really made me laugh. The next day, Dan brings some food to Emma. She's asleep. He sees like some origami on the table. There's like where her letters are and stuff like that. There's like little tiny like shapes. He goes and looks at her letters and sees a note written in the middle of one in like block print that says, what will you give me if I deliver him over to you?

There's like crazy Latin on the back of it. He goes up his office trying to decode it. Sister Rose barges in. She's briefly scandalized because his shirt is undone at the collar and she sees the top of his undershirt. She like looks away. So they're like sexual tension between the two of them? They're sexual tension between them.

Well they're both hot. They're both hot. Yeah, but so is everybody. Pretty much, it's a hot parish. There's probably sexual tension between them. Well, they're both hot. They're both hot. Yeah, but so is everybody. Oh, well. Pretty much, it's a hot parish. There's probably sexual tension every which way. Yeah, every which way. People are getting rid of belly buttons.

So he's like, yeah, this note says, what will you give me if I deliver him to you? And Sister Rose is like, that's what Judas said. Oh. Which is like pretty big miss for Dan. I knew that, I just meant, what does it mean here? Obviously I knew what it meant. In this context.

Yeah. Ritual five, ding ding ding. They pull off Emma's covers and everybody's like, Pee-yew, like it stinks in there. The covers are really holding the stink in. Which is true, that's what they do. Dan still wants to stop this ritual. It's like, this has gone far enough.

We're only at five. Al starts, and this, now we're getting into specifically like get out devil part of the ritual. Emma sits up, she's like, her light will soon be extinguished. Like, we already have her. Al keeps asking the demons to reveal themselves. Things are getting crazy. The bed, this like iron bed frame collapses

like the leg, brrrr, and none, they're trying to like get her, a nun gets her hand crushed. Dan is like, this is terrible, we have to stop doing this. They're in the locker room. Al finally says, are you having trouble seeing? Thank God. At this point, he's like, this is a direct quote, are you having trouble seeing?

Because the bed frame broke, and I earned bed frame. You saw that bed? Right. Now Al comes clean, he's like, look, we tried to exercise this woman before. This was years ago, She was a little kid. We gave up. She seemed to be okay, and now the demons are back.

They want her because she's a person of profound sensitivity. Al explains that trauma makes you vulnerable to possession, which is unfortunate. What a terrible thing to discover. Yikes. Sister Rose is walking by Emma's window. She sees blood on the door. She looks in there. Her face is like, oh, this is bad news.

Dan is in his office. He's reading aloud some background information on Emma. Not like, it says here and so and so and so. She's like, she was baked a pie filled with tobacco and other things? She's like, she was baked a pie filled with tobacco and other things? Like it turns out her father and his sister's wife, Nina, were having an affair.

And Emma found out about it. They were trying to like poison her and do all this crazy shit. They were trying to do witchcraft on her. They were trying to kill her? Yes do all this crazy shit. They were trying to do witchcraft on her They were trying to kill her. Yes Okay as a child as a child. Oh wow, so sister Rose rushes in is like you got to see this They go into Emma's room. It is bad. This room is a This room is a mess. She has ripped all her hair out

There's blood all over the place furniture strewn around. She's in the corner, she's naked, she's bloody. Like sores all over her body. It's bad. It's bad. Oh man. It doesn't, yeah. Patricia Heaton is aghast. She wants to shut all this down.

But if they shut it down, what will happen to her? She just has to go away and not be their problem. I know, exactly! What do they think is gonna happen to her? She just has to go away and not be their problem. I know, it's like, what do they think is gonna happen to her? Because no other solution is offered. The implication is that this ritual is making things worse. It's like, we're all religious people,

what are we talking about? What's gonna happen to her? I know! And where's her family? Is there any family members? Sounds like her family's pretty bad. She's totally alone, totally alone. Family is back wherever the fuck they came from.

Okay. She wants them at least move down to the base. Oh my God. Isn't this room for exorcisms? Yeah. And like who's gonna use it now? Yeah I know. The room is pretty destroyed.

Yeah. I think it's a done deal. Bed's broken, it's full of blood and hair. She's like I wanna actually do my exercises in here now. Like, what the hell? I actually thought those rooms were exercises, and I liked it that way. My yoga ball was taking up space in my office,

and it should be in here. There's a misunderstanding, exercise is not exorcisms. So they move her down to the basement. She starts to read, so they agree to move her down to the basement. She starts to read Dan Stevens, The Riot Act. Now this is wild to me as a Catholic, as a former Catholic,

that a nun would ever be talking this way to a priest, even a mother superior, but she gives this very brief girl power speech, which is while undeniably there's truth in it, it is undermined by all the other events in the movie. She's like, look, as a woman in this church, I've seen fucking dudes come and go, guys who are less pious than me, less smart than I am,

and you're just another one and blah, blah, blah. But it's like, no, but don't make her, don't make her be wrong with this speech. When this is clear, we've all seen what's going on. It's such a weird moment. Yeah. So she's like the, we're supposed to, as a viewer, think she's wrong when she's saying all this.

Yes. Oh, that's so weird. What else can we, because she is wrong. She's not. We're seeing the exorcisms happening. Yes. Right, right, right. Of course she's in the main, of course she's right. Of course she is. She is wrong. We're seeing the exorcisms happening. Yes. Of course she's in the main.

Of course she's right. Of course she is. But why give this character this speech? In this moment. It totally under, oh, it's so, it's such a weird mistake. It's so weird. It's also like, honey, if you've got a problem with this power structure, maybe don't be Catholic.

Well. Jeez. I hate to break it to you. That is unfortunately the thread that must not be pulled. This is how it is here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is fun, it's also to me as a Catholic, as a former Catholic, I can't say it.

Thank you. Paul, do we need to work on some stuff? Honestly, let me tell you something. Because of everything that's happening in the world, and especially with JD Vance in particular, when I was a Catholic, I was very devout. Like, I very much believed it. And so that, but those ideas I am, I still have,

even though I don't believe in Catholicism anymore, it's still like the basic way to live your life, and which you don't have to be Catholic in order to do. But when you see these people exploiting religion in the way they do, it makes me so, it makes me, Jesus with the money lenders in the temple angry. It's so crazy.

It's so disgusting. It's disgusting. And it's so, it's raging. It's so on the surface. They're using it as an excuse to hate people and hurt people. And it's like, that's literally the polar opposite of the point of religion.

And they're specifically called out by Jesus in the New Testament, these kind of people. And of course they're like, well, we're not that. Right, they're talking about us. So it is wild that, so that's the thread you can't pull in Catholicism is like, if you decide to do your own thing or you decide to change the rules, you're not really Catholic anymore.

It's the whole idea of what do we believe and what are our rules, and if the rules change, are we still the same thing? So that's why you have people like JD Vance, who's like, I just wanna be a medieval Catholic, and I don't wanna have gay priests or priests married or whatever, because then it's not the real thing anymore. Oh, that's disgusting.

Yeah. Anyway, so a doctor shows up to look at Emma, because she's in bad shape. Most blase doctor you could have hoped for in this situation. He really is. Yeah, she's just kind of dehydrated. She's dehydrated. You say she seems fine?

He's like, she just needs's just kind of dehydrated. She seems fine. She's dehydrated. You say she seems fine? He's like, she just needs rest. She just needs rest. Well, did you do it with 1928? How much could medicine do? Well, and also, to be fair, that's what they say to you when you go into the doctor today. Like, you're like, you're like, you're like going, and you're like, I haven't slept in weeks.

My hair is falling out. I have sores all over my back. And they're like, well. Rest is really good, to be fair. Rest is good. Rest is really good. Rest and water are really good. Rest and water are important. That's all she needs. I do love rest But he's like, hey, give me a coffee It gets worse Give me a coffee gets worse

In what way? When she's dead? Physically. She'll she just needs some rest. She'll be fine. Does she still not have any of her hair? No, she does have hair. She has hair. She's just been pulling little chunks out here and there. But had sores all over her body that I didn't see him tending to. Maybe they were gone. Maybe there was some something.

Sores are really bad. Yeah, I mean, she was bleeding. But he takes a quick once over and it's like, yeah, she's fine. She's dehydrated. Let her sleep. Just drink some water. Yeah, I mean, she was like bleeding, but he takes a quick once over and it's like, yeah, she's fine. Yeah, she's just dehydrated. Give her, let her sleep. Just drink some water.

Yeah. Okay. So, she's, so Dan the next day is saying mass, and this was a moment that I texted you guys. He, you know, it's time for communion, so he has his back to the congregation, he takes a bite to the congregation. He takes a bite of the Eucharist.

Now I have the subtitles on because I don't want to miss anything. And the sound that they have used for him eating the whole Eucharist is munching. Munching. Munching on the Eucharist. Munching on the Eucharist, yep. He turns around, he briefly sees Emma in the congregation.

I don't know, like in terms of... Scary. Is it? It's like, it's more of a, you shouldn't be here, right? He just can't get her out of his mind. Now, okay, so then after mass, this is my second question. There's a big hubbub out in front of the church. And one of the person we've've seen earlier this older gentleman is like

You like have you seen her or whatever? Like I don't know what he's yelling about. I don't know what's going on I don't know what this whole hubbub is. I don't either. Okay, good. All right. I found This movie very hard to take notes on because everything's the same and it's just the same thing happening the whole time. Okay. Except for this moment where we're like, what's this now? Can you tell us what's happening?

What's this now? I don't know. But whatever's happening, it leads the bishop who comes out of somewhere nearby. Yeah, comes down from the clouds. I didn't know that he was like on site. But he is, he's just in his regular priest clothes, and he has to tell Dan Stevens,

hey man, you gotta get it together. He's like, what did he do? I don't know what happened. Are the parishioners mad about the exorcism? Do they know about it? They seem like they don't know that it's even happening. No, nobody's referencing it. So it's not that.

No. No. No. Huh, okay. But Patricia Eaton is saying like, this will tear the parish apart. So they do know about the exorcism. But they don't reference it. Or if they did. Huh, okay. But Patricia Eaton is saying like, this will tear the parish apart. So they do know about the exorcism.

But they don't reference it. Or if they did. Maybe, I don't know. That's why it has to be in the basement? Oh my God. Yeah, exactly. Yep. Yeah, we can't have her on the first floor.

Yeah, too close. I'm coming in for bingo. Yeah. Don't look at her. So then at nighttime, Sister Rose gets out of bed, she's like hearing something, makes the fatal mistake of looking in the mirror in the bathroom at night. No.

She is like full metal jacketing at the mirror, and then the mirror glass cracks, and then another nun comes in, snaps her out of it. Dan wakes up in the rectory, he's hearing like scary rustlings and scrabblings. His mirror breaks too, he hears someone say, father turns around, sees Emma in the doorway.

Big jump scare of music. There's not much music in this, right? Not really. But yeah, this is another big jump scare that's just by noise alone is a jump scare. Yeah. And then he looks again, she's not there anymore. His arm starts bubbling under the skin,

and it's like, it's really, this is like, all the money went to this effect. Yeah. A one million dollar effect. He like cuts his arm to try to let out whatever it is. He runs to go see Al Pacino. Al tells a story of his sister, Claire, dying. He says, when bad things happen to good people,

it makes us stronger and it turns us into who we are supposed to be. Sort of saying like, dude, you must get your shit together. My literal brother in Christ, you are needed here. So this prompts Dan to talk about his dead brother, literal brother in Christ. You are needed here. Yes, yes. So this prompts Dan to talk about his dead brother who died by suicide just a few weeks ago. His brother's name was Michael.

He's like going through his stuff. He found a St. Michael medallion. St. Michael is always depicted as fighting the devil, fighting demons. And so he found this medallion. fighting the devil, fighting demons. And so he found this medallion. And the pep talk seems like help him out a little bit. We see Emma in the basement. She's attempting to drink some water,

but her hands shake so violently every time she tries to, so the demons are keeping her from hydrating herself. Someone get this girl some water. That's all the doctor said. Yeah, at least an eye dropper, you know what I mean? The next day, Al and Emma have a nice outdoor sesh where Emma is saying, look, I'm too far gone. You gotta let me go.

Al is like, I will not give up on you. So it is time for ritual seven. Al addresses the troops says, this is the big push. If you gotta go to the bathroom, if you gotta eat something, if you need water, you do it now, because from here on out, no breaks. We're gonna get this shit done. Wow, that's inspiring.

They go in, Al starts reading. I liked that his thing starts with, attention Beelzebub. Oh my God! Come Beelzebub! Sir, sir! It's Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! He starts, exactly! He goes through a bunch of other demon names,

like you have to get out of here. You have to get out of here. You simply must. Guys, enough is enough! It's like Friday Night Lights, like pep talk, I don't know. We've given you every social cue, you've ignored. So there's yet another hot nun is there. Emma starts speaking in Spanish.

This hot nun who seems to be Spanish or Mexican, Emma's speaking like her grandma, and says, please, I'm in hell, it's terrible. Oh, no. And Al's like, stay strong, hot nun. And she's like, which I think this should be the tactic, always, she goes, wait a minute, my grandma was nice, she would never be in hell, you're trying to trick me.

Yeah, of course. That's what demons do. Yes, why would your grandma be in hell? That's her whole thing. Grand she would never be in hell. You're trying to trick me. Yeah, of course. That's what demons do. Yes, why would your grandma be in hell? That's her whole thing. Grandmas can't be in hell. Grandmas, well, some grandmas. Well, I don't know about your grandmas.

As you've established. So, then Patricia Heaton goes in. We have just been told nobody can take any breaks. We're gonna be going all the way through. When it comes to Patricia Heaton with Emma, Al and Dan are not in the room. Yeah, they're taking a break. What the?

What happened? They need a quick little break. Already a break? Already a break. They're already on a break apparently, or they're going to get something. I don't know. It's never explained, but it's like, we've just been told.

Like this is it. No break. This is the big one. Yes. Look alive. Look alive. Nobody, you better have an apple. So Emma's taunting her in Polish, doesn't work.

Then I don't know what they cut to. Then we find out that Emma has escaped. What? Yeah, well, it's cause Dan and Al are in the little break side room and we just hear a crash. Whatever. They run back in.

They cut to just anything else. Somebody else's face and they're like, oh, she's gone. Yeah, and then they're like, I don't know what happened. We literally were supposed to all be here. These guys, Dan and Al rushed in, like she escaped, she went into the catacombs. Like what the, what happened?

Not only did they take a break, but they fucking lost her. They lost her. Everybody lost her. Everybody, simply people blinked. There's like 10 people all around. There's so many people. So they all go into the catacombs.

They're catacombs also. Oh, I forgot, there was a shadow guy that showed up to taunt Al Pacino. He's getting ready for bed, he's in his little night shirt. This happened before. Did I delete that accidentally? But, um. Little shadow monster?

It's okay, because it like literally, here's the thing about taking notes on the smoothie. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But this guy was weird. But what is a shadow guy? Okay, Al, bless the baby. So Al is, he's in his night shirt like,

give me water. And then he hears this, he's like, he will say, not too much because he doesn't want you to get up to feed him tonight. So he's like, feels something weird, he turns around, there's like this shadowy figure in the doorway that has a demon voice, and he's around, there's this shadowy figure in the doorway that has a demon voice and he's like,

we're gonna getcha. And I was like, nuh-uh. He's like, just give up because if you do this, it's gonna be real bad. These are not exact quotes. These are not exact quotes. So this guy shows up again when they're in the catacombs and he's like, what did I tell you?

So everybody splits up to try to find Emma. Dan finds her behind a locked gate. She's not breathing. He busts in. They pat her on the back. She spits something else out. Which again, we don't get a clear look at, but it's another solid mass. The demon threw her says, "'She already belongs to us, we already have her.'" Now, Al unleashes a string of roasts against the devil, where he's like, the devil, you suck, you stink, everybody hates you.

Like, he just goes through this list of things. Everybody hates you. It's like, you're a liar. You're nasty. You're mean. No one's your friend. If someone's your friend, they're pretending. That's right.

So Emma's getting all worked up. He's like, Emma, come here, come here. Come to the light, come to the light. He drops his Bible to grab her hand. Upstairs, the walls are cracking, sisters start praying. Dan, this is his moment. Now he's convinced. Picks up the Bible. He rips off his Saint, Michael's medallion, holds it forward. He continues the ritual. Things build to a crescendo, and then she collapses. It seems to work. Everybody's like, oh my god.

Dan, you know, like Emma's on the floor. Dan is like sitting there, he's breathing heavily. We sort of push it on his face. He gives this very strange look. The end. This look is so confusing. Wait, the end of the movie? Yes.

Are you serious? Yeah. What's the look? His face, his face, it's kind of like... That the demon of the movie? Yes. Are you serious? Yeah. What's the look? It's kind of like. Are the demons with him? Unclear. I feel like it's like a wide-eyed, he looks stunned. Yeah.

It's like the end of The Graduate. It's, yeah. Is that it? But there's just enough ambiguity in his look. Because at first it seems like, did that just happen? Like, that was nuts. Yeah. Is that it? But there's just enough ambiguity in his look. First it seems like, did that just happen? That was nuts. But then the camera stays on him for such a long time.

He almost looks right down the barrel and it's sort of like, is he possessed now? I guess not. Crazy to end a movie on a cliffhanger when you don't care. I mean, maybe that's just me. I mean, I feel like maybe they tried to add an element of ambiguity. Like, they thought maybe that was interesting.

But I kind of got the vibe that this writer-director, like, fully believes that this was a real thing. 1,000%. Oh, what's up with this writer-director? He's super Catholic. I did not investigate this person. I didn't really either, but in the interviews that one interview, just like a poll quote I read of him,

he was like, yeah, we didn't make it for the critics. We knew the critics weren't going to like it. It's like, what? Oh my god. Yeah, actually, I made a bad movie on purpose. Yeah, we made it for the fans. Of what? Emma Schmidt from Iowa in 1928.

We made this one for Emma. So, screen goes black, more writing. Debate persists about the nature of Emma Schmidt's condition. Does it? Yeah, does it. Everyone's still talking about it. Debate persists for who? I guess with this director and me,

debate persists about the nature of her condition. Some believe her affliction was medical slash psychological, while others believe spiritual forces were at play. Yeah, those would be the two options. Yep, that's the debate. So some might believe one and some might believe the other. And you seem to be really strongly on one side of it, which is spiritual.

There's no ambiguity around, like that's the thing that's weird about it. It's like there wasn't, it was obviously magic, whatever was going on. Magic. It was magic. After the event, yeah, nobody says anything about sleight of hand. That's a third option.

That could have been it. Right. She was a great magician. She was a very skilled magician. Right. After the events of 1928, she reportedly lived out the rest of her life peacefully. Father Steiger and Father Theophilus continued practicing their faith until their deaths many years later. Father Theophilus was profiled in Time magazine.

And Father Steiger's notes served as the inspiration for countless articles, books, and films, such as this one. Then they show, there's pictures of them both. So there's a picture of a young priest and a picture of a crazy looking old monk with like wild white hair and a big white beard. And then slowly their names fade in. Like, yeah, I think I- As if we didn't know which was which? I think I got it.

I think I got it. What if it had been the opposite? Yeah. I would have been like, damn! What? And this one is incredible. The 1928 exorcism of Emma Schmidt remains the most thoroughly documented and well-known exorcism

in American history, which you told us as the fucking big ready. So many times. It's like, did you hear me? Did you hear me? What is this new, is this like a new cinema where we're like open and closed with the same thing? Bookend it.

Yeah. Weird. And is that it? That's it. Whoa. Yeah, it's kind of unbelievable that it happened. It's unbelievable that it happened. I, OK, again, you know, congrats for making a movie.

And you got some big stars. Hard to do. Hard to do. And you got some big stars, and like, absolute congrats. I am so curious about this man, this writer-director, because I'm like, why this movie, and then why being like, yeah, actually, we had to make it and nobody has to like it,

and it's like, brave, this Catholic story that we told. Like, what? Do you think he's Theophilus reincarnated? Oh, or a descendant. Like, he came back into his body, and he was like, I gotta tell this story my way. Do you think that could be it? Or Jan Stevens' guys. Yeah, but he wasn't shown in the best my way. Do you think that could be it? Or Dan Stevens' guys back up.

Yeah, but he didn't, he wasn't shown in the best light. I don't think that that would, I don't think anyone would choose to be Dan Stevens in this situation. I just feel like you gotta give us a priest on a Vespa saying cuckoo. Like it just isn't. Just one little nugget. Just give us something, something a little silly.

Even Al Pacino, like being kind of a character-y guy, was not that character-y. Yeah. No. We saw you in Jack and Jill. We know you can be funny and silly. We know you can be funny. It was just trying to be like a faithful interpretation

of the texts. Yeah, absolutely. And that's what mattered. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which nobody asked for and nobody wanted it. No. It was bad. No, this is the reason why you sort of embellish True Story. Right, right, yeah, yeah. Which nobody asked for and nobody wanted it, and it was bad. No, no, this is the reason why you sort of embellish true story.

Right, right, right, to make that interesting. This is the reason why if you're making a movie, you wanna kinda hope that someone will like it. Well, you also wanna comment maybe on something. You wanna have a commentary about something, right? Even if it's not perfectly faithful to the text, you wanna have a message about religion in some way, and that seemed to be missing.

Yeah, like the only backstory we really get is the Dan Stevens brothers' suicide, which even that, I mean, I guess it's because it was documented. Because it was true. And so that's why. I'm assuming. That's why it's included, because it's like,

there's not really much of a message there either. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So everything is just as it happened in real life. Because he doesn't really say that he's going through a crisis of faith necessarily. Like at one point, Sister Rose is having a crisis of faith after, which I don't understand after the shit that you see, why would. Yeah, I would be believing in a part. of faith necessarily. Like at one point, Sister Rose is having a crisis of faith, which I don't understand after the shit that you see.

Yeah, I would be believing in a part. Why would you go that way? Yeah, exactly. And then she says like, yeah, I'm having a hard time. I don't know about, is God trying to punish us? And he says, honestly, literally he says, I don't know what I'm doing. Which is, yeah, that's good to admit that, I think, when, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Which is, yeah, that's good to admit that, I think,

when you really don't know what you're doing. But it is strange that this, so the guy documenting all of this, Father Steiger, is the one who's having the crisis of faith, but he's writing all this shit down. So it's like all the things that are depicted in this movie as having definitely happened based on these notes. Right.

This guy's like, I don't know. So this guy's raining out of the furniture and moving all over the place. Right? Is there a God? I don't know. What? Right?

Yeah. So maybe. So bizarre. Yeah, I don't know. I really, yeah, would like to know why it happened. I wanna know now, now that I know this movie came out in theaters, I don't know why I just assumed it was a straight to streaming, because it's so bad. Was there like a movie premiere?

Like I wanna see pictures from this movie premiere with Dan Stevens and Al Pacino. I'd like to see that. We know Dan Stevens has good premiere outfits in general. We know he has funny ones. Funny ones. And yeah, I don't know. I... I can only figure this guy as a... this director is a true believer.

It seems that way. Trisha Eaton is very Catholic. And her presence in this movie makes me think that this must be a labor of love or a labor of faith for people involved. So, okay, so yeah, so... And for Dan Stevens, it's gonna be Al Pacino. So the message is the devil is real.

The message is the devil is real. The devil's real. And message is the devil is real. The devil's real. And exorcisms work. Yeah. As long as you believe. If you work them. If you work them.

If you work them. And Catholic priests are good. Yeah. Yeah, kind of across the board. But if they have doubts. Mm-hmm. Huge moment for Catholics. What else is going on with Catholics?

What was Conclave? Everybody loved it. Oh, yeah. The pope. The new pope. JD Vance. JD Vance. It's just as interesting.

I feel like Catholicism was kind of out of style for a while. And now it's a huge Catholic moment. Like being rebranded. Yeah. I don't know. It's just weird. Being rebranded as worse? As worse, as worse.

But like. Well, it's just weird. Being re-branded as worse? As worse, as worse! But like... Well, here's the thing. I, you know what? Bad movie, great recap, though. Bad movie, great recap. Great recap. Great recap. You're doing the movie the service that it deserves. Like, truly, like, the director should be thanking you. Yeah, I'm sure he will.

I'm sure he will. I'm sure we'll be hearing from him any day now. We'll talk to his reps. Yeah. Maybe he'll get you Dan Stevens. I mean, Dan is dying to be here. So do we think Dan, is Dan Stevens Catholic? Is he religious at all? That's a good question.

That's a good question. Are there, I was about to say, are there? Are there Catholic actors? Are there British Catholics? But Grace, are there? I'm one. say, are there... Are there Catholic actors? Are there British Catholics? But, Grace, are there? I'm one. Yeah, of course. Oh, you're like that?

Okay, so yeah, so there's British Catholics. So maybe he is. I'm looking it up real quickly. You're looking it up? Is Dan Stevens Catholic? Yeah. Yeah, this one's... Yeah, is Ashley Green Catholic?

Is everyone in this Catholic? Because that would make it make more sense. It does have that kind of feel to it. I went on a podcast just a couple weeks, months ago, called God Awful Movies, where we talked about a movie called Wraith that was like a very Christian horror movie where the ghost was like your future aborted fetus. Oh my God.

I'm so glad I skipped that one. And this did have, that one was much worse, but in a way that made it much better also, like, cause it was like, It was clear what the message was. Well, and it was also just like insane. And so it was like very funny to watch, but they both had a similar like self, self-seriousness to them

of like, what we're doing here is important. What we believe is right. Yeah. Yeah. And so I feel like that would make the most sense to me is that if everyone in this movie is Catholic. Dan Stevens was raised Christian, but does not seem to have any particular religion.

Well, then his is Al Pacino. That's his reason for being there. Yeah, well, if that makes sense. That's his religion acting. Yep to have any particular religion. Well then his is Al Pacino that's his reason for yeah yeah that makes sense that's his religion I think it really is okay I did find a positive review of this movie from Pauline org which is a Catholic sister Jose a rupert says the ritual compassion at its best compassion compassionion. Compassion at its best. Compassion, put her in the basement. They put her in the basement. They wouldn't even give her water.

They did put her in the basement. Girls dehydrated. That's right. That's compassion. These motherfuckers. There is something, just now I found myself imagining how soothing it might be to be like, my whole deal is I'm Catholic.

And like, if I see people doing Catholic things, I'm happy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like being a Chicago Cubs fan or something. Yeah, like it would be nice to be like, the world is comp... I mean, I guess it's the whole deal. The world is complicated and stressful, but like...

It's nice to see another fan. But they're... It's like, hey, if you're doing a Catholic thing, well, we're good. Yeah. I feel good about that. There should be like Catholic bars. Oh, totally.

Where it's all Catholic themed. I think they're all, I think that's the city of Boston. Mm-hmm. Good point, good point. The Catholics listening to this are like, nah, it's not it. It's not it. They're a massive Catholic fan base.

I know. Well, Paul. Paul. Amazing yet again. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. Bless you. I almost came to this recording

dressed in full priest regalia. In a priest outfit? Because you own full priest regalia. I do. I also own some priest regalia. In a priest outfit? Do you own full priest regalia? I do. I also own some priest regalia. I got it for, because I do a character who's a priest, but the truth is I love wearing it and it's almost like a fetish.

Oh, yeah. Where every time I put it on to do the character, I'm like, I just went out in the world like this. You can. Don't I can? You could and no one would know. The thing is I think about wearing it on a plane. That's what I think about a lot.

Oh, that's fun. Going to the airport dressed as him. Would you do it? Would you think you'd ever do it? Like what would it take to see you? What would it take to push you over the edge just that little bit to do it? Probably not much.

That's what I'm kind of thinking. Yeah, probably not much. Be interesting to see if anything would be different. Would people be like? That's the thing. People would approach you and they would ask for your help. And it would start to feel weird to you.

Does that happen to Tim? I mean, kind of. He doesn't wear his priest outfit out much because he doesn't want to wear it. Yeah, because he doesn't... No, literally for that reason. Like, actually though, it's like draws people are like... I must confess my...

Well, or just like... You know, that's interesting because they say that we're no longer a Christian nation, but if people are coming up to a man dressed as a priest just like all in the street. Yeah, street priest. I'm like... Street priest. Yeah, I know. He's gotta start a YouTube channel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. People really think that priests like no more than a normal person, you know what I mean? I do think they probably carry a certain certainty, at least about something, that again, it seems like it'd be nice. You know, Tim knows what he believes. No, no, but Tim's whole thing is lack of certainty.

Sure, sure, sure. He thinks certainty is like super dangerous. But he has faith. He has faith in a like beneficent God, like a good God. That's really nice! And that, like, and that is how he lives his life. And it makes him actually, like, you think he's, like, a better person because of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, that's, we talk about it a lot where we're like, why would you worship a God that's punitive and an asshole and mean to everyone? Then you would be punitive and an asshole and mean to everyone. You know what I mean? It just turns you into that version. It's so backwards. Anyway, yeah. Is the outfit comfortable to wear

or do you like how it makes you feel? Well, oh, wait, wait, wait. I have something to say about this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm just kidding. Wait, wait, wait. As you collect yourself, I this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm just kidding. Or both. Wait, wait, wait, as you collect yourself, I need you guys to know that Tim's little priest collars, do you know what they're called?

Okay, they're like cool new aerodynamic. Oh, it's like an update? It's like an updated priest collar. They're called Clara Cools. Wow. Clara Cool brand? My collar is a Clara Cool brand. Is it a Clara Cool?

It's a Clara Cool. Wow. Okay, but back to the question. It's not a comfort thing. You can't sleep, you put it on, you look in the mirror, you're like, okay. Just lounge around that house. I'm throwing my cassock. It is because, I think because when I was a kid, I went to Catholic school, went to mass every Sunday, and the Catholic school was like, oh, I'm going to go to church.

I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church.

I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to church. It is because, I think because when I was a kid, I went to Catholic school, went to mass every Sunday, and the Catholic priest outfit is like one of the

best outfits in all of organized religion. It's a really good outfit. It's iconic, it looks good on everyone. It's kind of like a tuxedo. Yeah, it is. It's like, you can't go wrong. It's a religious tuxedo. It's the tuxedo. And then like the, then the, when they get formal, like their formal versions of their

regular thing, it's like no notes. Like I love it so much, but wearing, wearing like a cassock with the, with the, um, the clericool and the sash and everything, the syncture, there's something, there's like a weird feeling of, not power, you know what it is? It's like a sort of wish fulfilled kind of, because it looked so cool to me when I was a kid. I never really wanted to be a priest. Every Catholic kid thinks about it at some point,

either being a priest or a nun. But it does, it makes me feel different. It's weird. It's very weird. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I look at myself in the mirror a lot when I wear it. Yeah.

You're like, you're catching your reflection everywhere you go. That's probably kind of the main thing to do in it, is just to be like. That's probably kind of the main thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Posey, this is what I'm doing. Yeah.

So it's like, it's like you like how you look in it. Yeah. And it also is sort of like, I mean, it's almost like putting on a superhero costume. It's like a trip down memory lane, too. It is kind of like a glimpse into another world. I could have been this. Of like, this could have been, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would have been great. Yeah. Whoa. I would have been so good at it. It would have been so fun. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I would have been so much better than what you're doing now.

I want to think about... I probably would have gone like 20 years before I got a woman pregnant and then had to leave. I would have lasted so long. I would have lasted so long! I was the coolest priest in my church! Got a woman pregnant and he had to leave. He was the coolest one. He was like the youngest coolest priest in my church. Got a woman pregnant and he had to leave. The coolest, yeah, he was the coolest one.

He was like the youngest, coolest priest. He was the youngest, coolest priest. And who was the woman? Was she a parishioner? I never knew. She was a parishioner, but I never knew who it was. Wow. Yeah.

How was that news divulged to the, how old were you? Were you like a kid and you were like, he's gone now? It was kind of whispers, yeah. I like overheard my mom talking about it to somebody. Did people think he was cool? Did they talk about it like he was cool? Well, no.

Oh, but you did. I did later, at the time it was like, that was terrifying to me, that that could happen. This is before I knew about other horrible things like that. Okay. Wow, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a lot to ask of a priest in the Catholic Church. It's a lot to ask of anybody, what are we doing? Yes, okay. Wow, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well. It's a lot to ask of a priest. In the Catholic Church. A lot to ask of anybody, what are we doing? Yeah, what are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing?

Well. Did I make this too long? Hell Chella. No notes, no notes. Hell Chella, week three. Wow, it's only week three. Week three in the bag. In the bag.

Paul, will you tell our listeners, obviously they already know who you are because you're the pope of the podcast, but are there any things coming up that you wanna plug? Yeah, I do a variety show called Varietopia every other month at Lodge Room in Los Angeles, but we also live stream the shows. When we do them, you can find live tickets

and live stream links at varietopia.com. But also we're going, we're in a pause on our tour right now, but we're going back out on the road in the fall in October. We're going to Charleston, Louisville, Charleston, South Carolina, Louisville, Kentucky, St. Louis, Missouri, and gotta go to Overland Park, Kansas. Oh, you got to. Can't skip Overland Park. Fine.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Paula, I've been to Overland Park. Have you really? I have, yeah. What's it like? My ex is from there.

Oh, what? Yeah. Oh my God. So I'll be sure to let his family know. It breeds assholes though, unfortunately. You gotta let them know. To catch you there. All exes' families are welcome. Perfect.

Yeah, I'm sure they'd have a great time. My Ex's family lives near Charleston and I can reach out. Henley, where's your Ex's family? Red Bank, New Jersey. Are you going there anytime soon? Well, they're gonna have to make a little bit of a trip, but... Oh my God, he is. I was in Red Bank last year at the Calamity Center for the Arts.

I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year.

I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank last year. I was in the Red Bank, New Jersey. Well, they're gonna have to make a little bit of a trip, but... Oh, my God, he is. I was in Red Bank last year, at the Calamity Center for the Arts. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

See? See? That's right. Well, we'll get all our exes there eventually. There we go. And their families. Yeah, and their families. I'm not interested in the exes, just the families. Just the families, yes. The cousins.

Well, I'm gonna close it out with a demon voice here. Yeah! Because I can't do Al Pacino's accent because I don't know what it is. So, oh, she. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

That reminded me of, it made me laugh because it was Patty Harrison and I think you should leave. Oh, you naughty little elf. Santa's gonna be so mad. Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff. Her soul belongs to us already. From all of us here at Too Scary to Do What.

She likes her little elf. Roo, you got her with goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. You got it, Harleys. You got it, bye. Good to be. We did it. We made it. Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show, please remember to subscribe and rate us on Spotify and Apple podcasts. Five stars only or we will haunt you.

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