Too Scary; Didn't Watch - THE UGLY STEPSISTER

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Movie Intro @ 22:02Trivia @ 26:30Recap starts @ 27:27TW: Body image, self harmFollow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content!Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy.Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good.

All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host a show, What's our podcast here on HeadGum? But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed. Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled.

We didn't have a website for our show yet. They were like... You don't have a website? What are you guys? Kindergarten? They wanted to do something about that. So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests

and very web-savvy guests. Should we tell them who it was? Let's put we could play 20 questions. I don't think we have time for that. Is it person? No, it's not. It's Finn Wolfhard. But Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website.

Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website too. I think you had some amazing ideas for the works. Well, I was sort of driving the thing. I was sort of like clicking and. And I was like, let's put a little, let's put some widgets in there. I was talking about widgets. You kept on using that phrase widgets. Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there.

You might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website. Just know that there's a hippo video and know that you're going to want to watch that. We had a lot of fun making this episode. We had a lot of fun to make this website. We think you're going to have a fun time listening to it and maybe watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present to you. Yeah, yeah.

This is a gift for you, okay? It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website, sponsoring the episode and for supporting creators across the HeadGum Network. Go check out the bonus episode. What's our website from What's Our Podcasts on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts? Go to Squarespace.com slash Beck and Kyle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code, Beck and Kyle.

Yes, sir. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. Get it, Kyle. This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy. And you're listening to Too Scary Didn't Walk. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies.

I'm Emily, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies. And so I watch them so that you don't have to. And we got a friggin' nasty one today that I'm a really. I'm really excited to tell you guys about. Yeah. Well, shoot. Not loving the picture.

That's behind you. A nice way to start off the year. It's a new year. It's a new year, folks. Yeah, before we get into this week's episode, there's timestamps in the show notes if you want to go straight to the recap. But first, we're just going to check in with each other, you guys. First episode of 2026.

Here we are. Did anything scary happen? to you yet this year or in the last portion of last year yeah i mean the scary thing that happened to me is so like i don't know sometime in the last like week i don't remember exactly when i was watching television and a commercial played for uh i believe it was trimfaya what's that I think it's a skin medication okay I'm not sure but in this ad this woman is living triumphantly and she is going on vacation and wearing a swimsuit and living her best life thanks to trum fia and it made me I was like I have to take a vacation like like watching this pharmaceutical

ad made me like jealous of the lady in the pharmaceutical ad in a way that that it was like, it was like a really intense feeling I experienced of like, I need a vacation, not a trip, not a break. I need a vacation in a way that like honestly spooked me. And so Joel and I have been like, okay, we'll take a vacation. Where do we want to go? And now thinking about a vacation and doing like, like having like 20 tabs open on my computer of possibilities of like has stressed me out so much that I'm like, I don't know. know we can't like and I was disgusting I found I narrowed it down to two options and I told okay I think you should do this or this and he was like well I think we should do this and I was like

great it means we'll have to do this and he was like okay well maybe not at this time we're then I was like well then I was like see this is the loop this is I can't I can't get out of it and I can't and I don't know what to do and like I don't know what to do I know it's like it's I'm just like like just pick a place and go because you just need a vacation but if only it were that simple. Anyway, should I go to Sedona? What do you guys think? Oh, yes. Go to Sedona. What do we think about Sedona in February? Because I'm like, is that actually going to... It's actually kind of... It's going to be cold. Yeah, I went to Sedona in March and it was cold. It was cold. See? And then I was like, well, maybe we do a cold trip and we embrace the cold and we do like

Northern, Northern California. We'd have to drive. We need a car. Roads might be snow. We don't want to drive in the snow. So maybe actually we don't do that in February. And now we're back to to square one. And we're back where we started. And I don't know where to go or what to do. I know. I cycle through this probably every year as well. But I need a vacation. You guys. There's got to be somewhere in Mexico. Can't you guys go to Mexico? Maybe we could go to Mexico. Maybe we could go to Hawaii. Maybe we go. I don't know. But I'm also like, oh, but then, but then I'm like, well, going on a vacation, like, well, that's expensive. You got to take time off work. You got to deal with getting on a plane. So maybe we go back to just driving. But then we're back in the loop of like, well, this. I just, you know. I know. No, I totally know. Yeah. So that's where I'm at currently.

And it's, it's stressing me out that I need, I feel like I need a vacation and I don't, I don't know how to, I don't know how to get it without getting more stressed. You need to like win two tickets to absolutely a pre-planned thing that is completely out of your hands. Oh, God. I feel like this is like a problem across the board with life. Life and capitalism. Too many choices all the time with everything. And our brains aren't supposed to be making this many choices all the time. And I'm also like it needs to be worth taking the time off work because then those are days you don't get back. And like so you better make sure it better be fucking good. And it's like I just need to like go somewhere and not think about that for like just like three days. I'm not asking for much. But I can't seem to do it. I want that too. The closest thing I'm getting the closest I'm getting to a vacation right now is. today right before this silas and i were coloring and he requested the marker that was teal and he used the word teal and i was like wow you know the word teal and then we started using teal and i was like this is reminding me of these beautiful Caribbean waters of where we could be we could be swimming in

them right now silas somewhere in Greece in that beautiful coastal region i just want to be somewhere i want to be somewhere where the water is like clear and fucking blue as hell, you know? Blue as hell. Blue as hell. The hell fires of hell, blue. Yeah. That's what I want. Terrifyingly blue. Satanic blue. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I'm. I totally get it. And it's like, it's fine. I'm, I love my life. I'm very lucky. I'll be fine without a vacation. What a champagne problem, as they say. I feel stressed, and I don't like to feel stress. Stress is bad. But I'm happy to be here with my friends.

Yeah, me too. My friends of whom I wonder if had anything scary happened to them. Well, so, okay, so two nights ago, I've been waiting, I've been wondering when this was going to happen. Two nights ago, we had our very first night terror. Oh, no. Yes, and it was May. So, Silas, luckily, knock on wood, has yet to have a night tear. But May, first of all, I could talk your ears off about how sick everyone's been.

Everyone's been sick of the fucking wazoo. We went to San Francisco. Immediately everyone got sick. I haven't been sick, but I feel sick because I've been taking care of everyone and have not been sleeping. And so I'm just so fucking tired. The one thing I wanted for my birthday was to sleep in. You guys, I haven't been able to sleep in yet. It's January 4th.

Of course. It's January 4th. One day. I know one day. So, yeah, two nights ago, because May was up really sick, just really stopped up nose, fever, all of that. I was sleeping in bed. She was in bed with me. Tim was downstairs because he's still sick and has a really bad cough.

So it kept waking her up when he was coughing, so he had to go sleep on the couch. And May and I are finally, we finally fall in asleep. It's like maybe 2.30 in the morning. and she wakes up screaming, screaming as loud as I've ever heard her scream, screaming. And I just assumed it was something to do with her being sick because she'd been sick and already had been having a terrible time sleeping. And so Tim comes upstairs and I'm like, we have to like call 911. We have to like take her to the emergency room right now. She's screaming. Her whole body's rigid. I try to like pick her up. She won't let me pick her up. She's like fighting me too thin.

nail. We bring her downstairs because we're like maybe she just needs this different location, screaming, screaming, screaming, she's standing downstairs in the living room, full screaming, full body red, full body rigid, like hands out, like going, no, no, no, no. Screaming at this, like corner of the room. Like, like, she's still kind of like asleep. She's so fucking out of it. Like I'm also, I'm also so sleep deprived. I'm. I'm also so sleep deprived. I'm. I can barely tell what's going on. I was literally like, Tim, we need to call 911. Like, what the fuck is going on?

And then eventually she just kind of like snapped out of it and stopped screaming and just like went into my arms and like relaxed and like fell asleep in my arms. And Tim was like in the other room like Googling what to do. And he was basically like, I think that was just a night terror. I'm pretty sure that was just a night terror. And I was not convinced. I was like something is seriously fucking wrong. Like we're going to have to go to the hospital.

hospital. She fell back asleep. She was fine. She's totally fine. But, oh, my God. I do have to tell you, I've been scared about that happening because I thought I would be scared that, like, there was a ghost in the house or a demon in the house. And it didn't cross my mind even once. For once, I didn't even think that she was scared of like a demon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're just worried about her. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't think that was happening. But that being said, it was, it was. It was. And, you know, what they say about night tears is you're not supposed to like, wake them up. You're not supposed to, like, move them.

You're not supposed to, like, try to help them. So, so hard. Did Silas wake up? No, Silas, but also Silas was in his room. She was in our room. But also, I don't know, he somehow slept through it. But anyway, I'm obviously the first thing I did was move her because, like, I thought, I don't know. Anyway, so I think I made it worse.

But, um, yikes. Yikes, yikes. Yeah, that sounds really scary. I hope the first and last. First and last. I used to babysit a kid who had night terrors. And like his parents told me, like, he'll have night terrors sometimes. And so every now and again, I'd be babysitting, and he would just start screaming in his room.

And I'm, like, alone in a house and just sit. I would just go, like, sit next to him. And I wouldn't wake him up, but I would just be like, shh, and, like, rub his little back. And he would just scream and freak out. And it was really scary. It was really scary for me as a child. I mean, I was like probably 15, 16, which is a child. So scary.

So, anyway, that child is now a full grown adult. Hope he's doing well. Isn't it weird how we like don't know what's going on there? We're like, just leave him be. Just let him. Yeah, don't wake him up. Definitely don't wake him up. Let him just keep fucking thinking he's being murdered.

Like, I don't know what's going. But like, whatever was, it wasn't good. So, why aren't you supposed to wake them up? Like, wouldn't you want to end the terror? Apparently it makes it worse. I don't know. That sucks. Is it a thing that like once you have one, it's a thing that you have a lot? Or is it kind of nobody knows? I think that it is. I mean, Silas has never had one. So I think you either have them or you don't. And they like happen for a period of time and then you like grow out of it. What also what I read online very briefly is it can have it can also be sparked by like being sleep deprived or having an upset sleep schedule or whatever. And we have we've been so sleep deprived because. because we were in San Francisco and everyone was sick. And then we had a really tough travel day back.

That was really hard. Yeah, he was like really overtired. You guys, we almost missed our flight again. We almost missed our flight again. We were running because we took some, sorry, I'm just going to keep talking. We took someone's car. We were borrowing someone's car. Like, bless them.

Thank you. They let us borrow their car. And they were flying back into San Francisco the day we were flying out. So we were like, okay, great, we'll park your car in short term parking. It'll be easy. First of all, we had a hard time getting to the airport. May had another tantrum right before we left and wouldn't put her clothes on. This is like a theme with me. Sorry, May. She's an adult listening to this and mad that I'm talking about her. So we're

already running late. Then we finally get to short-term parking. They have a like a roof rack on top of this car. They say the car is too tall for short-term parking. We have to go to long-term parking. So at this point my brain kind of just like freezes. I'm like long-term parking, fuck. So we have to do a U-turn, figure out our long-term parking is. Put it in Google Maps. immediately takes me to like not the airport long-term parking like some business is trying to profit off the SEO of having like airport long-term parking as their like search thing. So it takes us to the wrong place. So then we have to turn around, find long-term parking in another place, park there.

Then we have to take the airtran back to the airport and we're literally running, you guys, sprinting. Porosilis and mare sprinting. Then, you guys, our stroller breaks. Our stroller broke. Our stroller broke. And so we have two car seats. We have two suitcases. We have two children. We have like infinite backpacks. Every backpack. And we're just, I mean, we made it. We made it on the plane. But everyone was like, it was not a relaxing situation for anyone. Poor Silas and May are being put through. I feel so bad. It's like, you know, they didn't sign up for any of this. Anyway, so my scary thing is just, I really want to go to bed so bad. I want you to go to bed. I want that too. Yeah, that'll be good.

Okay, apparently a night terror, their body's like in fight or flight. And so it can be dangerous for you and them because they might like attack you. May definitely try to attack me. Yeah. That's not our first rodeo though. Yeah. Yeah. Which is pretty scary

She's strong as hell So don't follow that advice with May Do not fuck with me No, she's stronger than me And I have bite marks all over my body from her Yeah Oh my God She may be fractured your collarbone that one time

Yeah she did well she didn't fracture But she left a big old bruise Yeah Yeah she's powerful I'm so powerful girl And now a powerful woman Now that she's listening to that Now she's a powerful adult

I really want to be clear that I love this about her I'm so proud of her I she's incredible I want her to be like the fiercest fucking woman out there and she is she is she is forever will be as she listens to this in every stage of her life she'll just become back to this one episode over and over again to know that she is in fact the strongest woman alive we love you may we love you may isn't it crazy that

when by the time may is a full grown adult listening to this we will be much older Yeah. Civilization will be over. I know. It's crazy. She'll be listening to it on a CD, on a tape. On like a boat in the middle of the ocean. Yeah. Like water world style. I was picturing like an endless desert. Yeah. Well, that's why we got to move to the oceans. Yeah. Because the land doesn't offer anything anymore because we have one big desert. Sammy, anything? Sammy, what I am? I'm just going to keep talking about this, which we were just talking about before we started recording. But I'm, But Duncan made me watch a documentary about aliens called Age of Disclosure. That was one of the worst made documentaries I've ever seen, but had some really compelling

stuff we met you guys. And I feel like I'm a believer in aliens. That's not new. I think most people can be like, yeah, there's probably aliens, right? Yeah. We're all kind of on the same page about that. Yeah. But what this documentary is talking about is that aliens have been to Earth and, like, certain ships have crashed.

And there is, like, alien bodies and technology in the government's possession that they are keeping secret so that they can reverse engineer alien technology. Alien bodies. Yes, two different species. Whoa. Wait, when was this documentary made? The 20-25 was last year. Oh, okay. Brand new.

It's up to date. It's the most recent information. It's basically interviewing all of the various whistleblowers that used to be in the Army or... Well, I suppose they would have things to say. Or Marines or scientists. It's... Yeah. I would love to hear what our listeners have to think because it's...

Has a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes. Let's find out why. Yeah, it's really badly made. But, yeah, it just... I thought had some compelling first-person testimonies and information in it. But it's also like, what am I going to believe in a conspiracy theory now? Like, I don't like the potential of being a conspiracy theorist. I know.

But also, like, some conspiracies are real. And this is one where I'm just, like, caught in the middle. I know. I want to believe, but also I don't want to believe. Yeah. And I want someone to just tell me the truth and lay it out simple. I just want. Yeah. Simple and straightforward for me.

Also, as we were saying before we started recording to you, I'm sort of like, until there's literally anything I can do about or anything that it can do to affect my life, I'm sort of like, all right. Yeah. Maybe it's true. Maybe it's not fucking whatever, man. What am I supposed to do? Yeah.

That is my, I think, still like top level. But I suppose it would be nice to know. Feeling about it is like, yeah. kind of either way it's i'm still going to probably live my life mostly the same way that i do now yeah okay there's a big review about it on skeptic dot com seems like a reasonable place sounds like a good source isn't stephen spilberg making a movie called disclosure day yes well this movie apparent this documentary apparently was directed by one of stephen spilberg's assistants and duncan's very excited about the stephen spillberg movie which is

apparently all going to be completely based on fact so so in the spielberg movie the aliens are like walking among us is that what the documentary thinks that aliens are like posing as humans it didn't really get into that too much but i've heard people say that yeah i mean why not at this point if anything's possible yeah i mean i think it is a little suspicious that the pentagon literally can never pass an audit of their budget and they're constantly losing trillions of dollars and it's like Of course, that money could be going anywhere, but aliens. Could be going to aliens and trying to reverse engineer alien technology to develop a power source so powerful that our human brains can't currently comprehend. But the thing that's weird about that is that, like, wouldn't there be interest trying to shut that down?

Because everyone's trying to shut down any power source that's alternative to oil. Do you know what I mean? Like, wouldn't like the oil people be lobbying against that? But maybe that's why they're keeping a secret. It's because they don't want the oil people to know. They don't care about us, little plebs. They care about the oil lobbyists. Yeah.

Yeah, it's just, it's interesting. And I feel like I try to stay away from anything even close to a conspiracy theory. And so it feels a little scary even to explore this territory because I'm like, I don't look stupid and be like, aliens are real. But at the same time, it's like, it is interesting. It is kind of interesting. I don't think that it's stupid anymore. I think that we've had a huge evolution in human things. thought and evidence in the past decade where it used to be like kind of crazy to believe in

aliens, but now there have been so many people who've come forward being like, no, aliens are real. Now it's kind of like, yeah, of course, aliens are real. And to what degree, into what extent and what their motives or intentions or what we're doing with this information, that's TBD. Drop an alien emoji in the comments if you believe their government is hiding aliens from us or if they live among us or with whatever theory you personally have. They're living in the oceans. Yeah. I'm interested. I think it's fun to think about, but also, you know, I don't want to put too much stock in it. Yeah. You don't want to get your hopes out. I don't want to get invested in it in any meaningful way. I just want to know what's going on. I just want to know. I just want to know

what's true, objectively speaking on all fronts. Is that so much to ask? Just everybody be honest all the time about everything. That would be great. Don't think we're asking for much. I'm 2026. Let's start with honesty. Oh, that would be so great. You guys may woke up. I think she heard me talking about her. She's screaming in the other room now. Oh, she's just storming towards you. She's so mad. She's coming in for more bites. She says, how dare you speak of me this way. She's also, and I want to clarify, she's also the sweetest little muffin ever. She just really has two sides to her. Teen's multitudes.

Yeah, as do we all. All right. Should we get into this week's episode? No. I guess so. I think you guys will like it. I forgot to mention that part. I loved this movie.

And I know that doesn't always mean much for you guys. I love when you're excited, though. But I really loved it. And I think it's a very clever movie cover. an important topic that we all deal with, which is body image issues and patriarchy and the expectations on women to look a certain way. So we're going to be getting into some of that because this week we were talking about the ugly step-sister came out in 2025, written and directed by Emily Blichfeldt, starring Leia Miren

Andal Torp, Taya Sophie Lochnice, and Flo Fagerli. It is a Norwegian film, if you could guess. Sorry, is that offensive? No, you know I like to do my accents. I can't differentiate between the Scandinavian accents too much. I can't differentiate between most accents. True. Yeah.

Can't at all. We did have a Scottish waiter last night. That was fun. And Jenna was like, what is that accent? She was so, I was immediately like, It's Scottish, yeah, but it is, it is a crazy one. It's a, it's a, I love that one. I do too.

Yeah, one of my faves. But then our friend that was with us was then doing a Scottish impression because his mom is Scottish, and we were all like, he's going to think you're making fun of him, you can't do it. It was not somebody else who also happens to be Scottish. Yeah. I do love the accent. So, yeah, I don't think, I don't know that I'll do the accent too much, but we'll see, we'll see what happens. We'll see. We'll see.

Sometimes it just comes out. Sometimes. You never know. The ugly step sister is streaming on Hulu and Shudder.com. It has a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 70 on Metacritic, and a 7 on IMDB. So 100% on IMDB. 100% across the board. People love this movie.

The budget was 4.2 million, and it made 5.6 million, which is a profit. Hell yeah. In my eyes. And in anyone's eyes, they made money. Yeah, good for them. Do you guys know anything about this movie? Had you heard anything about it? No.

Not a thing, not a word. Just the picture you have behind you and the name of the movie is doing a lot. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I have a feeling, well, there's probably going to be a lot to work with here this morning without knowing what this movie is about just because this is what it is to be alive. This is where my brain is at. I was doing a little bit of research on submental liposuction,

which is a liposuction of the under chin area. Jesus Christ. Went down a real dive where I was like, this seems like very doable. And the thing is like you're actually like, you actually have to do it in your 20s and early 30s because once you hit 35, apparently like your skin is not a,

it doesn't have enough elasticity to usually make it a do. You have to go for the full facelift. Right, right, right. have to um as soon as possible yeah as soon as possible and so i was like okay i've got like i've got a year to oh my god not even fuck i have three months oh no you'll need to do a schedule of that life i was like i could go i could and i started i was like re and i was like i like you know closed out of all the witness and i'm not going to do it and no shame on anybody who does but just to say um these are things i struggle with i think it's a pretty constant battle for most

women body image issues. And yeah, I'll say now, I suppose, if you have issues with body image and eating disorders, this may, you know, be a triggering episode for you. So it's kind of all about that. And I found it very relatable of just all the ways we're really horrible to ourselves. And then can sometimes be horrible to ourselves about being horrible to ourselves, like being like you dumb like why are you being you're such a bad feminist not wanting to change your body you're more than this you're more than this right like just like an endless cycle of shame and self-hatred uh that i think many people can relate to and have experienced and oh and like yeah when you're when you like go on and on and harp on like here's the things that are bad and

and ugly about my body that need to be fixed that I'm like thinking about fixing how many people are hearing that and going like oh that must mean I'm disgusting too and I need to like change that about me because you're right that must be a problem I must all it's like it's really like oh God

it's yeah it's not good overwhelming and we haven't even started talking about movie I'll give us some trivia this is Emily Blickfeld's directing debut It is based on the story Ashin Poutel by the Brothers Grimm,

which translates to Little Ash Girl, or what we call Cinderella. Oh, little Ash girl. It's not quite the same ring to it. So, yes, this is the ugly step-sister from Cinderella. Okay. That's all the trivia I have, and we all watch the trailer at the end

because it's a little spoilery. I mean, the story is Cinderella-ish. So you're going to recognize some of it. But yeah, if you want to watch our trailer reaction, that'll be on our Patreon at patreon.com slash TSDW podcast. And I think let's just get into this recap. Okay. I have been eating out at restaurants all season long,

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We begin. We are in beautiful farmlands somewhere in. in 1800s, Scandinavia. The place is referred to as Swedlandia, but again, this is a Norwegian film. It's sunny and green. It's all like soft focusy and dreamy. We're getting some kind of fun,

almost like electronic music, but in the style of like a Baroque. Ooh, cool. Little electronic Baroque music. Cool. And we see our protagonist, Elvira. She is reciting some poetry, like love, love poems about, I don't remember any of the poetry. Didn't write it down.

But there's a prince there with her, like, practicing shooting arrows. And it's like pretty clear straight off the bat that this is a dream sequence of her, like, imagining herself with this, like, handsome prince and running off into the sunset together when she is snapped back to reality her mom like hits her on her head says elvira her name's elvira wake up we see she has fallen asleep with prince julian's most beautiful poems open in her in her lap and she comes to in a carriage with her mother and her sister her mother's name is rebecca her sister's name is alma and we see elvira has these like high ponytail ringlets that it's just like a really not flattering style this movie does kind of do a little bit of a she's all that type of thing too where it's like look at this i mean it's

in the title ugly step sister and you know we'll get there but she's not that ugly She's not that ugly. Just put some glasses on her, ringlets in her hair. Yeah, exactly. Hidious. So she's got some ringlets. She's also got braces. Ew.

Ugly. Nasty. And we're in this carriage and we arrive at a castle, a small castle, a modest castle. I don't know. What do you call just a regular house in the 1800s? But like a regular and pretty nice house. In a state. An estate.

They arrive at an estate. There we go. And step out and are greeted by a man and his daughter. The man's name is Otto. His daughter's name is Agnes. And Elvira is immediately struck by Agnes's beauty. She has very traditionally attractive features, long, blonde hair. And it's clear that Elvira is immediately, like, really taken with her.

eyes go wide. Her mom tells her to cover her braces. So she's smiling really big, but like with her mouth closed and kind of like every once in a while, her little teeth peek out because she's just like so excited to have this like meet this really, really pretty girl. And we find out that Otto and Rebecca are to be wed. We go straight into their, they have a small ceremony with just Otto Rebecca and Rebecca's two daughters and Otto's daughter. The mood is high. We're excited. Everyone's having a good time. It looks like we're all excited to become a family. Agnes takes Elvira to show her her new room. It's like kind of giddy, like, ooh, we're sisters now. And this is so exciting. Elvira looks out the window and sees in the distance,

On top of the hills, the prince's castle. She's looking at it longingly and dreamily. Agnes notices this, and Elvira turns to Agnes and says, you know, I really want to marry that prince. Like, I'm in love with the prince. And Agnes gives her a little look of kind of like, oh, yeah, that sounds nice. And then they go downstairs for a big feast for dinner. and we're all jolly having a good time when Otto is cutting the wedding cake,

grabs a handful of it, and just throws it in Elvira's face, and everybody laughs. Elvira's like really stunned by it, shocked by it, and like doesn't react at first, but everyone's just laughing and laughing and laughing, as if this is like a just totally normal, harmless choked to make to your new stepdaughter and you see Elvira like realize everyone's laughing and so she like forces herself to start laughing and is trying to be a good sport about it even though what he did was wrong and mean yeah and then as they're all laughing Otto starts choking. Agnes is seated next to him as like reaching for him like, Papa, Papa, are you okay? And his eyes are wide. He's like struggling for breath. And then he coughs

blood in her face and collapses into the cake and dies. Whoa, that was fast. Real quick. Yep. Real quick death for Otto. We get our main titles. Again, this little techno-y baroque music. The aesthetic of this movie is it kind of reminds me of like an emerald fennel type of thing. There's like hot pink text over the like dreamy 1800s spread. It's very beautifully shot. So then we come back up. We see Agnes is in mourning, in bed. She's crying.

She's, you know, some amount of days has passed. And Elvira comes in with food to try to comfort her. But she's not doing a really good job comforting her. She's kind of just saying, you know, my dad died and we all got over it eventually. So, like, you will probably too. I think she does mean well here. She just does not know what to say. And it really pisses Agnes off.

She, like, yells at her to get out of her room. And she says, if it wasn't for the money, my father would never have brought you into our family. Yes. And Elvira says, what money? She says, your mother's money. And Elvira looks like, oh, shit, and, like, runs screaming to her mom. Mom, mom, they don't have any money. And, like, runs into the other room where some bankers or whatever are there,

taking away the cattle and some of the land because Otto was apparently in a lot of debt and now they have taken on that debt. So they're having to like give certain things away. But but it does seem like Elvira's mom has a good amount of money, but this is still going to be a financial blow. And she, Rebecca collapses. She's in her, her black veil. and just is like, oh, my God, this is a disaster. You know how hard it is to get someone to marry me. I'm a widow with saggy tits and two hopeless daughters. Like, people aren't lining up to marry me.

And, like, this was our shot. And Elvira is saying, like, don't worry, mom. Like, I'll get married. I'll get married to the prince. And Rebecca's like, she says she tells her to look in the mirror and says he's not going to marry you and says and alma hasn't even started her period so she's like not we can't marry her off yet that's the little sister she's like looks to be like 14 or 15 I mean she honestly looks to be like 25 but I assume she's supposed to be about 14 or 15 so And now all the hopes of this family's financial rescue lay on Elvira's shoulders. And she's looking like she really wants to help.

She doesn't know what to do. There's like a scene of her going and looking in the mirror and staring in the mirror and like pinching her face in all different directions and like looking at her braces and looking at her face from all different angles and like holding her skin up. that like a little chin fat is not visible and submental liposuction no yeah it's it's we've all done this I feel like it's a heartbreaking moment and then she hears in the street below someone calling out riding up on horseback and there's a messenger from the prince's castle announcing a ball He's throwing a ball and is inviting all eligible virgins to the ball so that he can choose his bride.

And Elvira and Agnes run out and are given invitations to the ball. And Elvira is frigging through the roof. Over the moon? Over the moon. Over the moon. It's going to say through the moon. She's absolutely through the moon. She's absolutely blasting through the moon. How old is she? Do you think supposed to be?

I think she's probably supposed to be like 17. And is she supposed, are she and Agnes like the same age? Yes. Got it. Yeah. Okay. And she's running to give the good news to her mom when she's also like flashing more of those dreamy visions we saw in the beginning of the prince lifting her into his arms

and like running off into the distance just like so. Happy, happily ever after. And she tells her mom, and her mom is like, okay, we got to call the doctor. Oh, God. And the doctor comes over, Dr. Esthetic. Oh, nice. And he's got like a little tape measure. He's like measuring the angles of her face.

And he's like, oh, no, no, no. What are we going to do? He's like, the braces are easy. Braces, we can take off. No problem. problem, but this nose, this monstrosity of a nose, we're going to have to, like, do something about that. Oh, no.

Her nose is, I hate this. Again, as you imagine, totally normal nose. Yeah. Yeah. But they decide, okay, we're going to need this nose job. We're going to do it right here right now. Oh, God. The hand is drawing of like seven different nose shapes to choose which one she wants.

And then they set up a little chair. Elvira gets in the chair. First, they'd take off the braces, which he has these, like, massive pliers. It all looks like absolutely barbaric and scary, like, medieval torture devices. And he, like, rips the braces off of her teeth, which looks like it hurts, but, like, not terribly. She's, like, very excited to have them off. So at this point, she's, like, gets a little hand mirror and she's looking at herself and her teeth, and she's smiling. And she's like, oh, my God, yay, this is so exciting.

And then it's time for the nose job. And she lays back in the chair. And now she's looking a little nervous. She's like, so how does this work? And he just pulls out a hammer and chisel. Holy shit. Holy shit. And Rebecca and Alma are also in the room.

And Alma, I think, is my favorite character in this movie. She's just, like, a quiet observer of all this as, like, you know, what's supposed to be a 14-year-old girl, like, seeing her future, essentially, of, like, oh, is this what life is? And she sees that in, like, a side room where the doctor has come from, they're, like, mopping up a puddle of blood. Like, she's just, like, terrified sitting there in silence. We see Dr. Estatique put that chisel up right on the nose, right on the bone in the middle of nose, and raise the hammer and go like one, two, three, and wax it down. And Elvira just starts screaming. This actress's performance is so good in this movie.

Leah Mirren, and she's just like, ah, like screams so intense. There's no pain. No pain management. No pain management. No. And then he's like, okay, second one, and like, lines it up.

One, two, three, smashes it again, breaks her nose in two places. Oh, my God. It's horrifying. Cut to Elvira at a finishing school a few days later. we see she is now in this nose brace that's like a it's like a metal little cast I guess on her nose holding it in place strapped on with these ribbons but it looks very I mean she looks like bane it's like it's like that's the picture you have behind you yes the screenshot you have behind you and I thought that she had I thought she had syphilis because it looks like what when

people had syphilis and they would start losing body parts they would put like a fake nose or fake, like, that's what it looks like. It's horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. I. Okay. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8.

For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. for delivery. Hey, it's Tignotaro from The Handsome Podcast. And I'm May Martin. And I'm Fortune Feemster, also from The Handsome Podcast. And we wanted to let you know that we made a very fun special episode of our show sponsored by Squarespace that's up now on our YouTube page for you to watch. Hansom finally formed a band and recorded a hit song live in the podcast studio. And we documented the whole process for you to watch. It's by far the most ambitious and inspiring moment on our show to date. I feel like we can't say much more about it without giving

too much away. So just go watch us make complete fools of ourselves and have the best time ever. Or become the newest pop sensations. That's right. Go to YouTube.com slash handsomepod or listen wherever you get your podcast. That's YouTube.com slash handsome pod to hear us record a song live. See you at the Grammys. Oh, for sure, buddy. For sure. Get started on your dream website today. head to squarespace.com slash handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So we're in finishing school now. They're getting lessons on how to, you know, attract a gentleman partner. This is how you must wave your fan and like lean forward

slightly to show your cleavage, dancing lessons. And there's two, like headmistresses of this finishing school and one of them is teaching a dance. They're saying they're going to perform a dance for the prince. And this is going to be the most important day of all of your lives because all the important men in the town will be there looking for their brides. Looking for scraps. Yeah. So we're learning how to dance and three dancers will ultimately be chosen. But right now, everyone's kind of learning the dance. We're going to whittle it down as we go. And Elvira is at the front. They do the, you know, first few moves of choreography. It's very balletic. And the instructor is watching Elvira and tells her to move back.

she's in the front row and she says move back and Agnes move forward. Agnes is in the second row. So Agnes comes forward and Elvira moves to the second row. And they're kind of continuing to dance when the instructor's like, no, move back. And she goes back to the third row. And then she's like, what aren't you understanding? Move all the way to the back and makes her go like to the very back of class. It's like humiliating, degrading.

It's awful. And she looks obviously very upset. Then they are having dinner at home that night. Elvira is having, looks like water soup. It's like a bowl of hot water with lemons in it. And she's looking around at everybody else's meals, which are actual food. Oh, my God. Looking very hungry.

Agnes asks about the funeral and says, when are we going to have my dad's funeral? And they say something like it, you know, that costs a lot of money. Agnes is getting angry because she's like, well, you're spending a lot of money. Like, Dr. Estatique is not cheap. And my dad is rotting. We need to bury him. And this is where we're seeing kind of like wicked stepmother vibes. Or she's like, she's like, we're not burying him right now.

I'm not going to deal with that right now. Like, get that out of your head. And so we follow Agnes after dinner. She brings some flowers down to the room that they're keeping her father's dead body in. She comes to his side and we get a look at him. And yes, he is very much rotting. Ew. There are, like, maggots.

He is, like, swollen and, like... What the fuck? Ew. Wow. Very upsetting. Oh, next day we're back at finishing school. Elvira volunteers to do a solo and the instructor kind of laughs at her and thinks she's going to humiliate herself. So she's like indulging her. She's like, yeah, let's see you do it. And then Elvira is actually pretty good at it. And so the teacher looks a little humbled. But she's like, yeah, you have some talent. But wasted talent because I'm like never going to. pick you and the only reason you're here is because your mom is like paying me to keep you here what a bitch for no reason really mean again in front of everybody she's elvira's on the

verge of tears and like just again like completely humiliated and then she goes home and she's trying on her dress for the ball and it doesn't fit she needs to lose some weight to be able to fit into it we see her looking at her naked body in the mirror later that night in her room. Again, just, like, such a devastating scene where she's just, like, pinching the areas where there's, like, fat on her body and, like, kind of looking at herself

with a disappointed look on her face and just, like, looks, like, sad. Yeah. It's really sad. Yeah. And we see that she has, like, hid some pastries in her dresser because she's not being fed food meals. So she's, like, sneaking.

food and then we see another day she's meeting with the other school headmistress, finishing school mistress that is like, I think she is the headmistress and the other ones like the dance instructor and we don't catch this lady's name but at first just because I know it's like a Cinderella story. I'm like, is this a fairy godmother? Like who's coming to help? Someone help. And this woman brings her into her office for a meeting and she's really kind to her and she says she can see that Elvira is really feeling really deflated and sad and is kind of like giving up hope and she says like you remind me a lot of myself and I don't want you to give up and Elvira looks at her and he's like what are you talking about your? beautiful and I'm ugly and fat and like no one's ever going to want to marry me and she says I can tell that you are beautiful on the inside and like good for you trying to make the outside match

the inside which not not quite not great not quite the what we want to be harping on she hands her a little locket, like a little lockbox thing, and presses it into her palm and says, this is a gift from me to you. And remember that it's what's inside that counts. And we're thinking like, that's nice. Okay, that's a nice thing to say. Cut to Elvira and Alma in the woods. She opens the little box. It's a tapeworm egg. You know, no. Yeah. No.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. She shows Alma again, Alma's just like watching, like horrified. Like, what are you talking about? She's like, it's so exciting. Like, all I have to do is swallow this tapeworm egg and then I can eat whatever I want. And the tapeworm just eats it and I'll still lose weight. And like, it's, that's, isn't that so great? And Alma gets really upset.

And it's like, that's crazy. Like, you know that that's insane. And Elvira's, like, really shocked by this. She's like, what do you mean? Like, this is, like, the best thing that's ever happened to me. And Alma's really upset and, like, storms off. And they rode to this little picnic spot on horseback. And Alma takes both horses and storms off.

And so Elvira is left alone in the woods. It's daytime. It doesn't seem like scary or anything. But she's going to have to walk. back home and we see her like a little hurt by this interaction but not at all deterred to take the tapeworm egg and she pops in her mouth no don't do it no no not in the woods not in the woods not the woods and she smiles she's excited about it she's feeling really good oh this is going to be great okay it's going to be great this is going to be great everyone grab your fix vapor rub now

So we get a quick little scene back at the estate where we see Agnes seems to have a romantic connection with the stable boy, the guy that tends to the horses. They're like secretly sneaking off and hooking up seems like something that's been going on for a while. So we're just, we're bookmarking that. Elvira now is walking home through the woods. And she comes across the prince and two of his friends. She, like, hides behind a rock. They don't notice her. And she's eavesdropping for a little bit.

She's, like, starstruck and so excited. Like, oh, my God, the prince, the prince, prince. We overhear what they're saying. And they're, of course, being, like, very misogynistic and gross. And, like, oh, the ball is going to be great. Bet there's going to be so many, like, sexy ladies there. I don't remember what they say. But the vibe is like, we're going to fuck all these.

these women and like, it's going to be awesome. Yeah. And Elvira is a little bum to hear this, but again, like, not quite going to let anything burst her bubble just yet. She's like, you know, whatever. Boys will be boys. I can fix him. And just then she stumbles and falls into their, like, eyesight.

And does she still have her nose brace? Yes. And she just took the tapeworm. I hate this so much. And the two friends of the prince say like, oh, look now, there's your bride. There's a new bride. And the prince looks at her, this, like, scathing look. Like, he's disgusted by her.

He's like, that thing. Like, I'm not marrying that. Oh. She runs. She runs home. She's crying and she's passing the stable when she hears something going on in the stables. Stops to take a little look-see

and we get just a full-frame close-up of Agnes' asshole. She's just like standing or kneeling ass up, ready to be fucked by this stable boy. but it's just it's a very funny shot because it's it's so um you don't see a lot of assholes you don't see a lot of assholes and it's like playing against elvira's face like elvira's not seen a lot of assholes either so she's just like what am i looking at it's almost like a vertigo zoom on the asshole and then on her face of she's just like what's not seen a single asshole oh yeah that's possible yeah they haven't noticed her there yet and so then she sees the like

very erect penis coming and it has the like horse grunting in the background and it feels like this very like animalistic moment and she's like terrified by it but also can't look away when he starts fucking her and it's all like shot and at it in a very funny way where just Elvira's like what the fuck is happening and she's she's watching this go on for a little bit when, I don't know, little twig breaks or something, Agnes turns around, locks eye, like, eye contact with her as everybody comes. Oh, wow. Okay, great.

And Elvira, like, lingers a little, another little moment, but then runs back to the house. And she's like, Mom, Mom, Agnes isn't a virgin. She can't marry the prince. And stepmother comes down. She's wicked evil stepmother now she like grabs the stable boy and throws him out naked and is like throwing rocks at him and is like, I never want to see your filthy face again. You disgust me. And then she's throwing Agnes on the ground, calling her a dirty whore, saying you're not going to the ball. You're going to be our servant now. And like you're bringing shame to this family. And then they start calling her Cinderella. Little Ash girl The part of the story we didn't see She's actually a huge slut

They left that part out This is the prologue to the Disney film Did we never stop to consider Maybe Cinderella absolutely fucking deserved At that whore So When the messenger had Come earlier

He said the ball was going to be in four Four full moons Oh that's a long ass time Yeah, they had some time to prepare. That's why she got the nose job. Just like, oh, we got time for that to heal. We better do it right now. But we got to do it right away.

So now we get a title card that says three full moons later. And we come up on Elvira taking off that nose brace. Her nose is healed. And she's looking in the mirror, admiring her reflection, which looks, I think, pretty much the same as before. again, this is very, she's all daddy where it's like, okay, I guess, yeah. Then she's at the doctors, at Dr. Estateek says he's taking this off. He's admiring his own handy work. Like, oh my God, I did so good. This is incredible. And then he convinces her and Rebecca that I think Elvira would really look good with some eyelash extensions.

We're like, okay, great. Yeah, let's do that. How bad can it be? How bad can it be? Are they mad out of, like, spider legs? Ew. It's going to be like the grossest thing you've ever heard of. What happens? So he has the eyelash extensions on like a little string. And we see he has a nurse, helping him who has the eyelash extensions. Oh, my God. She's gorgeous. You see her eyes.

She looks stunning with these eyelashes. And so we're getting excited. We're like, okay, great. And he's like, oh, and now, you know what? We have this new pain medication so we can use that. And he starts, like, sprinkling white powder on her eyes. And he's like, it's from the cacao plant. Nice.

Cocaine straight into the eyeballs. It's just cocaine right in the eyes. and then he's like snorting a little bit on the side too and he's like oh yeah it works great this stuff's great and then he lines up the eyelashes this little string with the bottom lid and pulls out a big needle no he's sewing them they're being sewn on no no and then another nurse comes in and we see she has one beautiful eye and one just like white eye that clearly has had some horrible medical accident like maybe someone did a big line of cocaine right before trying to sew some shit in your eye yeah so now uh elvira's looking pretty scared and then the needle goes in and i would love to

know how they filmed this because it really just looks like someone getting eyelashes sewn on to their own eyes. And it's a real close up. Nope. And it goes off for a really long time. Emily's doing a full dance in her chair right now. A full dance, interpretive dance. I got to be, you can't get me if I just stay in motion.

Yeah, you can't get her. If she's still moving, she's moving, you can't get her. So now we're back at home post-operation. her head is completely bandaged and bloodied, just like little eye patches of blood in this bandage. And her stomach is gurgling, making these horrible gurgling noises. And we see she's like lifts her dress up and we see a little movement happening under the skin.

Sick, sick. So it's so, it was an egg this whole time, meaning it didn't. It hatched now. It's now it's hatched. Yes. Ew. Ew. She gets up and blindly is like feeling her way around the room.

Like the stomach gurgling is getting so loud. So we're like, okay, she's seeming hungry. She's trying to go get food, but she like can't move around the space super easily. And we cut to the other room and we see Alma has started her period. She wakes up hearing that Elvira is fumbling around and sees. period blood in the bed and she just looks like absolutely terrified and covers it up

she goes out to like clean it and passes Elvira but Elvira has like bandages over her eyes so can't see her and she doesn't say anything she's like oh I'm just going to get some water and they like pass each other

do you get the impression that like she's maybe had her period for a little while and is like hiding it I didn't but maybe I mean it would make sense He would just be like, nope, still haven't gotten it. Like, no, nothing to see here. Yeah. Yep.

So Elvira makes her way down to the kitchen and is feeling around for food and she's, like, can't find anything. And she's, like, crying and whimpering. And she pulls up the bandages and we see her, like, swollen, stitchy eyes that are all, like, black and blue. Not worth it. And Agnes comes in. I don't know whether to call her Agnes or Cinderella. I guess I'll call her Agnes because that's her name. But I might slip a little Cinderella in here and there,

but I don't want to mean it as like a mean name. It's okay. She sees her and kind of takes pity on her and like hands her some food. There's some like cake. She gives it to her. And Elvira just like scarfs it down and looks like so hungry. And Agnes is, yeah, just looks like she feels really bad for her. for her at this point.

She's like, oh, this is, this is sad. This is bleak. Next day at the finishing school, Agnes has been pulled out of the finishing school. She's just, she's Cinderella now. She's a servant. She doesn't go to finishing school. She's not going to the ball. We see a couple of the other girls in the class seem to have bruises around their eyes as well.

It looks somewhat healed. Elvira does. so this must be a little while later. And because Agnes is gone, the dance instructor has to find a new lead. I don't think they had chosen the final three. Maybe they had. But they're about two. And that was someone that she had in mind, I suppose, for the three dancers that were going to perform for the prince. But now that Agnes is gone, she has to choose another person. And the headmistress that we saw earlier kind of encourages her to choose Elvira who now has you know long beautiful lashes

healed nose no braces no braces she's lost some weight and so a little begrudgingly this dance instructor chooses Elvira so now

she's practicing the dance She's very excited. Okay, this is so great. Things are going so well. Everything's going to be perfect forever, and I'm going to marry the prince. She goes home and takes a bath and is making Cinderella. Feed her spaghetti while she's in the bathroom. Honestly, what a dream.

It's very funny. She's like reading the prince's poems, and she's just singing like, oh, this is going to be my husband soon. And like little pieces of spaghetti are falling into the bath. And she's like picking them up and eating them. And Agnes's watch is so like so gross down by her at this point. And I think she asks her to brush her hair. And when Agnes comes with the hairbrush, Elvira's hair just starts like falling out in big clumps. Apparently this is side effect of tapeworm.

Yeah, I mean, you're incredibly malnourished. Yeah. Her hair is just starting to really fall out. It's a side effect of, yeah, eating disorders. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. So we cut to her sleeping in bed and her mom waking her up, pulling her out of bed, pulling her out of bed, pulling her sleeping gown over her head.

So she's naked, turns her around and we see there's like three men in the room with them just staring at her. Elvira's like, what the fuck is going on? and the lead man, man in charge steps forward and says, I'm your fairy godmother, and he has this big chest with him, he opens it up, and it has a gorgeous ball gown inside. And she is so excited. She, like, gets into it, I guess. Obviously weirded out at first,

because these people have just seen her naked. It's, like, very weird. way to interact with somebody her mom is her mom's also incredibly good in this just have to say um anyways she is like getting into the gown when agnes comes in and this fairy godmother guy like sees how gorgeous agnes is and is immediately like what's this girl's deal like can i fuck this girl he doesn't say that exactly but that's his vibe is like he he goes up and he's at first, like, trying to flirt with her. She's obviously not interested.

So then he assaults her and just starts, like, making out with her. She pushes him off of her and spits at him and then spits again on the floor in front of him. And then Rebecca's like, clean that up right now. And it's just, like, awful scene. And they, like, kick her out of the room. And Elvira's, like, in the dress now. And they're like, okay, yeah, she's gone now. Okay, great.

Let's see you in this dress. They walk up towards the mirror And this man reaches his hand into the boob And like pulls her boobs up, you know, to make like cleavage But just like puts like both of his hands down her dress To like pull her boobs up in a way that Oh, it's awful. And the dress is really gorgeous.

She looks great. They're saying tomorrow you're going to make us all rich. Everyone's a little invested. and like obviously whoever marries the prince is going to make a lot of money. But then we see the clumps of hair falling out. They notice that she's balding and they're like, oh, oh, no. And Rebecca has this like moment of like, oh, my God, fuck, fuck, fuck, what are we going to do? When this guy, he's got wigs, he's got plenty of wigs.

He pulls one out, a blonde wig. And it's like, no problem at all. Don't worry we've got this. Downstairs we see Agnes crying. And running, she has a chest with one of her mother's old gowns. It's blue and beautiful, a baby blue. You've seen it before. Uh-huh.

And she's kind of praying to her mom or like talking to her mom, say, mom, like, please don't let this be my life. Like, I don't want this to be my life. And Elvira comes in at that moment and sees her and sees the dress and look. looks pissed. And Agnes turns and looks at her and it's like, I'm going to the ball and you can't stop me. Elvira starts screaming. She rips up the dress. She's not having it. In this context, it makes more sense than in the Cinderella story. Right. Elvira has been through the ringer here. Yeah. This woman is not doing well. And she has. Yeah. Yeah. We can forgive for this. And what hope does she have if she does not nab this misogynistic asshole of a man to be her husband?

She literally needs to. She has to. Oh, there's even a moment when Agnes is with the stable boy that I forgot about where they're like clearly in love and they're like kissing and she's crying and she's like, but I have to marry the prince. It's just like this is a time where women just like had to get married for financial reasons like that there was just no other. Literally, we had to until like the 70s, 1970s. Right. And so it's like she can't get married for love because they have zero money. Be ruined, yeah.

So Agnes is now crying, holding her shredded gown, and she runs down to the room where her father's corpse is still being held. Oh my God, they still haven't buried him? Still haven't buried him. and she kind of collapses on top of him really, really gross, honestly, but she's just really upset and sobbing over the dress and over him. And we're like seeing what look like maggots crawling towards her and the dress. But then they get on the dress and you get a little closer look at them. They're silkworms.

Wow. And they start kind of going to work on this dress. cute little stitch stitching away little helpful silk worms and then a glow comes over the room agnes lifts her head and sees her mother there in the room and her mother smiles at her and says your shoes are in your pocket and she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pair beautiful slippers not glass slippers, but nice, very, very beautiful slippers. And she's smiling at her and she says, like, be careful, though, because your carriage will turn into a pumpkin at midnight.

Okay. So magic is real. So that one is real. Got it. We see now it's the day of the ball, night of the ball. Everyone arriving, Elvira is looking amazing in her very experienced. expensive, fancy dress, and gorgeous wig. And we're in this big ballroom where people are standing around the perimeter,

while each eligible virgin is introduced by their mothers. It'll be like, Agnes, whatever present. Not Agnes, though. She's not there. Being presented by the mother, we're seeing, like, all the men around, like, licking their lips and eating the little appetizers. hors d'oeuvres just like shoving food in their mouths. It reminded me of in the substance when, um, what's his face is eating the shrimp and it's so gross. So, uh, we're introducing them one by one and some of them, they say they're ages and some of them are like 16 and just

throw that out there, just a reminder. And then it's Elvira's turn. Everyone gasps. Oh my God. She's gorgeous, and she's absolutely stealing the show. People are lining up to want to dance with her. The prince only has eyes for her. He asks her to dance. Everything's going perfectly according to plan. Elvira is looking absolutely thrilled. When in comes a mysterious stranger in a baby blue gown and a little mask over her face.

Like she's at a masquerade ball? No, it's just like a piece of fabric, really. Oh, okay. A little piece of fabric tied around her face with string, like a veil, but a small little square. Okay. A small little square veil. So, like, you can definitely still tell it's Agnes. Absolutely, but nobody can in this world.

Right, right. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Love it when they do that. Yeah. She, it's the same dress. She's got her long blonde hair, same body, same.

Same body, same vibe. The prince is obviously immediately drawn to this new potential bride. He drops Elvira, walks straight over to The Stranger in Blue, asks her for a dance. He's fallen in love. He's immediately, he's seen all he needs to see. He's made his choice. Elvira is devastated, furious, but then her stomach's gurgling and she runs to the other room, out of the main room, to the little side room, and just starts vomiting.

Oh, no. Like a black liquid with some stuff in it, and then we get a look at it, and it's a bunch of tapeworm eggs. No! No! No! No! No! And her mom runs in after her and is like, what the fuck are you doing?

You need to get back out there. And Elvira's- I can't believe I didn't see this coming. Oh, no, no, no. Elvira's crying. And she says, Mom, I think I'm dying. And Rebecca tells her to, like, get her shit together because this is it. This is the night she needs to go find a husband.

There's other men out there. You don't have to marry the prince. Like, I need you to step up right now and go find a fucking husband. Well, do you want her throwing up in front of all these men? Do you want her throwing up tapeworms in front of all these men? You fucking idiot? She does not care. She pushes her out there, slaps her, says like, you know, fucking get over it, get out there.

Elvira goes out. It's obviously like, feels like absolute shit. She's, like, disoriented. She's out of it. And is just like this montage of her dancing with all these men and like kind of flopping around and just like trying to. like trying to stay conscious it looks like she like wants to like pass out and then well how many fucking tapeworms are inside of her eating all right exactly everything and she needs a real doctor not doctor ascetic um and this one guy like pulls her aside and is like or i think

rebecca introduces her to she's like this man owns like a fish company and he talked to him and dance with him. And he comes up and says, do you like oysters? She's like, oysters? No, no. I don't like, like she's so out of it. And he's like, do you like fish? And she's like, no, no fish.

And he says, do you like shrimps? She's like, yeah, I like shrimps. I like shrimps. And he's like, great, let's dance. And he's like, again, tossing her around. She's like limp and just like trying her best to go. along with the dance. Very upsetting scene as well, but, like, very well done.

And so she's doing this dance, and one of the dances ends with, like, the guy tipping the girl backwards so that her head is down and that this happens right next to the prince and Agnes. And so as she tips down, her tiny little veil flips up, and Elvira and Agnes make eye contact. And Elvira's like, as if it wasn't totally obvious that it was her the whole time. But in this moment, Agnes runs. She's been caught. And so she gets the fuck out of there.

And wouldn't you know it, she leaves behind one of her slippers? The prince picks it up and says to the crowd, we must find the woman who fits this slipper. She will be. A man who knows absolutely nothing about women's feet. And shoes. It's always made me laugh because it's like, it's probably like one third of all of the women.

If only one woman can wear those shoes, her feet are absolutely fucked up in some way. Like they're either like horrifyingly small or misshapen or like to have the world's most unique foot is actually like not ideal. No. So we see Elvira running home now or taking the carriage home. And we do see a little pumpkin at the doorstep, which is funny. We see inside Agnes is back into her servant clothes, her Cinderella rags. And she's feeding a little rat some cheese, which I really liked.

Elvira comes in with a butcher knife and attacks her. It's like, give me your slipper. Give me that slipper. And eventually is able to wrestle the slipper away from her. Agnes is at first trying to be like, I don't know what you're talking about, but then eventually she's like, okay, fine, don't kill me with the butcher knife. Here's the fucking slipper. Elvira runs upstairs with the slipper. We see her mom in her bedroom hooking up with the shrimps guy. Oh, yikes. And she's trying to say to her mom, she's like, Mom, Agnes is the mysterious stranger. And she's like, not now. Elvira, you had your chance and you blew it. Now I have to, like, pick up the slack, like, get out of here.

So Elvira runs to her room. She puts down the butcher knife. She grabs the shoe and tries to put it on, and it's way too small. Oh, God. Okay, yeah, we knew this is coming. We knew this is coming. I did it. I really did it.

Yikes. But yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We see her look defeated. Oh, my God, what is she going to do? How is she going to fit into the shoe? And when she looks at the butcher knife, looks at the shoe, looks at the butcher knife, looks at the shoe,

she lines up the shoe with her foot and takes the butcher knife and gently presses it where she needs to cut to be able to fit into the shoe. So she draws like a little reference line. No, no, no, no. Okay, Emily's trying to get away. There's no her to go. There's no refer to go. She's trying to get away. She can't. And she's looking absolutely crazed in this moment to her eye. She's like, just, just, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, it's bad. And she grabs a little stool and puts her foot on it. Oh, my God. She grabs a little log from the fireplace and lines up the butcher knife with the little reference line on her toes and raises that log similar to the hammer and chisel from the beginning and does a little one two three and swings it down again screaming bloody murder oh my god i want to scream bloody murder just hearing about this same same

except i'm somewhere else oh she's gone she left oh she got she made it she made it out She made it out, actually. And drops the knife, drops the log, and we see that it didn't cut through all the way. So her toes are all just dangling off her foot. It's like basically just the last piece of skin holding them on. And we get a real close-up shot. You would not be able to walk without toes. Yeah, you can't walk.

No. No, she just, no. She's not thinking clearly. No, she's not thinking. Uh, Alma runs in, hearing the screaming, sees this is again, just like completely horrified. Oh my God. Oh, my God. grabs a, uh, belt or something to use it as a tourniquet, just like immediately ties her leg to try to stop the bleeding.

Then her mom and shrimp's guy run in. Shrimp's guy sees it immediately passes out. Rebecca is like. comes in and looks really shocked as well, but, like, you see little, like, wheels turning in her mind. She's like, what, what should I do? What should I do? And she has this, like, liquid something that she has used to sleep earlier. And so she uses, she's like, it's okay. It's okay. Like, I'm going to give you something to knock you out to take away the pain. It's okay. She gives that to her. And finishes the job. As she's kind of like drifting away, Elvira is, like,

drifting off to sleep. She's like, I don't know where to do, mom. And Rebecca says, sweetie, you did the wrong foot. The prince has the left shoe. Like, you have the right shoe. The prince is going to try the left. And Del Vira passes out. Alma's like, what are you talking about? And Rebecca picks up the butcher knife, tells Alma to get out. You know, I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. she hacks off the little dangley toes. No. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then goes over to the other foot. Yeah. Oh, I hate this. And chops off all of those toes as well. Yeah. But kind of like a hack job.

She's doing a really, she's not one clean cut. She's really, she's really fucking it up and having to do a lot of. That's Rebecca's style. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Then. Cut to black, we see again one more vision, dream of Elvira with the prince running off into the sunset when Elvira wakes up in her bed the next day. Her two bandaged feet was bloodied little stumps. She looks down. She's like, again, screaming in pain. and she hears the, like, Prince's messenger, whatever, like the Prince's brigade coming and, like, ringing a bell and being like, all women who are at the ball, please come down to try to try on the slipper.

And she tries to get out of bed, but can't swing her legs around and stand on them, obviously. So she ends up falling off the bed, landing on her. her face, breaking her nose back and knocking out her two front teeth. Okay. Well, that was unnecessary. We didn't need that, too. She's just in, like, a puddle of blood, like, spitting, and she can't walk. And she's, like, trying to rush downstairs to be able to try on the slipper.

And this scene is, like, devastating, but also, like, so over the top and funny because she's doing this, like, army crawl. and it's just like so pathetic so weak so weak and it looks like so she's in so much pain so malnourished her teeth her probably just like waiting to fall yeah just like hanging on by thread and her hair is all falling out now she's like more bald than not and she gets the staircase and like falls down the stairs and is like hitting everything as she tumbles down it's horrible and as she makes it to the bottom of the stairs, she, like, is laying on her back and her head's tipped back

and she's looking out the door towards where the carriage is. And Agnes comes up just at that moment and sees Elvira, and they have this moment of just looking at each other. And Agnes looks like really shocked, obviously. Yeah. And she's just like, there's a moment of just, like oh oh my god this is so sad but then agnes runs outside we hear it fits and cheering and oh my god the prince has found his bride you see elvira just like hearing this on the floor

bloodied balding no teeth her nose worse than it was before and then alma comes in and her and says like, okay, enough of this now, like we need to. Oh, I forgot that there was when the headmistress gave her the tapeworm, she says, like, when you want to end it, you just have to, like, drink this antidote or, like, poison that'll kill them or something. But it only kills the tapeworms, don't worry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Alma knew about this. And so Alma's like, this is ridiculous. Like, you need to take that, like, stop now. And she, like, pulls her into, uh, the kitchen and like sets up a little station for her to be able to throw up the tapeworm. It's like, okay, let's drink this antidote.

She does it. And then she's just like gagging and gagging and gagging and dry heaving. And oh my God. I was thinking about when actors have to do this, like how many takes of just like nonstop gagging? I would, you know, that seems like really hard to do. Yeah. Hopefully they didn't have to do too many takes. This is the grossest thing.

One of the grossest things I've ever seen. No, no, no. Just like as she's gagging, she, we see just a little like white worm poking out. No. Alma's like, I see it. It's coming out. It's coming out. No.

And she's like vomiting and gagging and gagging. It comes out enough that Alma can grab it. Oh, my God, Alma. And Alma starts pulling it out like a. a string and it just keeps coming and coming and coming and coming. Oh, I hate this. I hate this. It's like 10 feet long.

It's crazy. I hate this. It's absolutely disgusting. No. I thought it, and she gets it out. They get it out. I thought it was going to be attached to her intestines and just pull out her intestines and kill her.

But it doesn't. It's, they got it out. A silver lining. Ew. And then Alma, after, after they kind of, gather themselves and um how does one gather once in that i would not be gathered till the end of my days no no no no i would never be gathered oh oh no alma tells elvira we're leaving we're going we're getting out of here okay and me and she goes sneaks upstairs to steal a piece of her mother's jewelry

to sell and sees like looks over here's a noise looks over sees her mom giving shrimp's guy a blowjob Rebecca turns and sees Alma they just like stare at each other for a minute and then Rebecca goes back to the blowjob oh alma leaves helps uh helps Elvira get up and she's like hey we got to go down these stairs to get to the horses and so they do like a wheelbarrow because she's got two bloodied stump feet and so she's like carrying elvira has to like walk on her hands and then they both just like start giggling and it's so cute like it's like a really sweet moment of just like alma you can tell just like really loves elvira it's just like the one pure relationship in the movie where it's just like alma actually cares about her and is like

I want to protect you from this and I'm going to take you away. And then they just have this cute little giggle and do kind of a like, oh, yeah, we're doing a little wheelbarrow, ha, ha, this is cute. And then she gets her on the horse and they ride off into the sunset. And we see a group of crows, a murder of crows, excuse me, eating the chopped up remnants of the tapeworm. and that's the end of the movie. Holy shit. That was a lot.

That was a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. That was a lot. It's a tough hang. That's a tough hang that one. I don't even know where to start.

I mean, it's crazy because truly the nose job thing was one of the craziest things that I had, like, I was like, oh my. I thought, and then it just like kept really getting crazier. And I really love it when a movie is able to do that. It's impressive. And like the, like I said, the effects of sewing those eyelashes on, everything just like looks real. And it's horrifying. I mean, the way for it to end with her chopping off her own foot shows in very, in a stark way.

How trapped, how trapped you women have felt by this situation that we've been put in for centuries. I mean, we do, not just women, all people, mostly women, do pay people to cut us, cut us apart. Yeah. Add things in, take things out, reshape, chisel. Yeah. And I'm not even, I've always been pro anybody doing what they need to do to feel whole. It's very complicated. I hold no judgment towards anybody who engages in anything I have considered certain things myself and probably still will.

But it is, when you take just like one step back, it makes me want to be. dead when I just yeah when I just sort of get off the the ride for a second and watch it I am like what the actual fuck right because it's because it's to what end it's one thing if it's for truly for yourself but if it's actually for like the male gaze also like for ourselves why why must we look a certain way to love it like can't be I like not sure that it can't be for just for yourself because it's we don't we don't need our bodies to look any certain way to like I know exist happily like the only the only reason we would be dissatisfied with a thing about us is because of societal messaging telling us that it's wrong telling us that's wrong and

so it's I I agree though I mean I'm also like not against anybody doing procedures or things that they feel will make them feel better. But it is, it's all just like so murky and fucking sad. And it's, yeah, it's awful. The thing that stood out to me more than like the plastic surgery aspect of this film, which is obviously very present. The thing that stood out to me more though is just this like, it's really just this fucked up dynamic of like putting women in this tiny little box, this tiny little box where. Our only hope to be happy, our only hope for a comfortable, loving life is to be chosen by a man. And it is so, it's a message that is forced on our throats from the second we're born until, like, for our entire lives.

I mean, it happens now in terms of like stories about like women, you know, it's just over, over. and over and over again in our culture. And truly, I feel like I was indoctrinated into that idea, even though the economics of it have changed drastically in the past 50 years. Now women have a lot more economic freedom than they used to. They used to not have any economic freedom. They literally had to be chosen by a man in order to be happy or have a successful life. Now, technically, those shackles have been taken off us a little bit. However, I would say the messaging is still that in order to be happy, you need to be chosen. And like, I fucking hate that.

It still also like somewhat financially, it's really hard to be single in this economy. Well, and even taking, even, yes, that is true. And it is, it's as, as women get older, we are like told and the data follows that our value decreases. is. But even aside from getting a partner, we are made to believe, and again, the data follows that the more aesthetically pleasing we are to anyone and everyone, the more success follows us. The easier things become the, you know, like I have a wonderful husband who I adore and who adores me. I've been chosen. I have chosen him. We're good. And I, saw a one before

and after photo of Dakota Johnson on my Instagram this morning and spent 15 minutes researching submental liposuction. As if like getting a one surgical procedure was the

key to happiness. Yeah and like in it is not just that like oh my God so worth it. Like what a great what a great thing that I can just go do like I what I know it's like our us being dissatisfied with our selves in as many ways as possible is the most like lucrative thing for right our economy um also guess what if you're focusing on that shit you're not focusing on anything else it's like good for the economy

and it's good to keep you submissive if you're like spending all your time and energy hating yourself and trying to fix it. Yeah, exactly. Once you realize that all of that is in order to keep you submissive, submissive is the perfect word to use because it's like you, if you're hungry, you're more submissive. If you're obsessed with just how you look, you're more submissive. If like you're putting all of your weight, your value of yourself on how you look,

you're going to be more submissive, it's all about keeping women in that position. And it fucking pisses me off. it pisses me off you guys so fucking much i don't know i don't feel like i really needed this movie to like remind me of any of that i feel like i'm like super aware of it um yeah i for me the timing was apt um yeah because also how we consume how we live our lives is through screens everything is image based everything is image based even this podcast no one was supposed to see what we look like? Now we're supposed to be on video. Are you kidding?

Podcasts to be visual. Who cares what my face looks like? Is nothing sacred? I just really liked the approach of the movie overall as like Cinderella from the point of view of the ugly step-sister and like wicked stepmother and just seeing how we're like all victims of the same like patriarchy. This is one of the most... not having seen it versus other movies on this theme that we've covered or I've heard about

this is like feels like the most successful and the most um nuance like I really love the portrayal of having the sister there watching this happen because so much of this it's so much easier for me to be kind to myself when I think about like literally any young girl in the whole world when I think about like May or hi me you as a full grown adult listening now I know that you have absolutely no body dysmorphine you never have I really hope you didn't listen to that movie I really hope you but like truly I'm like when I think of it through the lens of like literally anybody else I'm like well no no you shouldn't think like no this is stupid and your body's perfect because it's a body that works and like who cares but if it's just me alone in my room

with my thoughts and my mirror and my iPhone camera I'm like you nasty you nasty a little bit I agree. And that's the tragedy of it is that it narrows our point of view to such a small, small, small, small, small myopic point of view that makes life look tiny, so tiny that you have to chop your fucking feet off in order to live in it. And it pisses me off because life is so much bigger than that. And we get to be conscious and we get to enjoy being alive and we get to live in nature and we get to have relationships where we get to laugh and have sisters that make us laugh. And like that is one, I really appreciated that in the end of the movie, them doing the wheelbarrow and laughing. Because it's like, yeah, like there's so much more out there. And it's so

easy to forget that when we're constantly being told one thing. And she loved Agnes until she was made to view her as someone who's taking something from her. Like, you know, and we don't, I just it's so it's so devastating I know I think that what you just said Henley is like reminds me of I feel like so much of our society in general is like very goal focused and like always moving towards something and in this it's moving towards I must get this prince but like that's true in like all facets of life of just being like career focused or like moving towards this thing which I think I guess ties in with the dissatisfying. action that I mentioned earlier is like I think we're just really conditioned to feel like we don't have what we need yet and we need to keep moving towards something that we don't have and yeah I think the the moments of joy like laughing with your sister about a silly walking funny walking funny like those moments do matter and those moments are accessible all the time and are kind of like the antidote to feeling overwhelmed by needing control over the whole rest of

your life and like trying to figure out your whole life and maybe even like the whole world's problems and all like just like our scope of what we focus on is what is yeah way too big or maybe now I'm saying the opposite of what you're saying but I think it it is yeah they work together still. And also because when you've had this, when you've been like focused on just one thing, this one thing, this one thing, this one thing, then you get the one thing. And then you're married to a misogynistic asshole that you have to have sex with all the time. I love that like the thing here too is that like Cinderella is going to a prison. Like she's like she sold herself off because she had to. Right. It's not a prize. The narrative we've got is like, oh my God,

I love it for sight. And she found the slip in there she is. She like made it. a business decision for herself and followed it through to the end. I forgot to say that there's like one quick little post credits clip of her father's corpse just like rotting in the basement still, which I was like, yeah, I think speaks to that of like how she's taken away from the person that actually mattered to her and it was unable to ever like do the one thing she wanted to do, which was bury her father. So sad. God. It's so sad. Yeah. And how it just makes us betray each other. Yeah. We're all turning on each other. Yeah. For what? Yeah. And like similarly how when you're just

focusing on like what's wrong with me, what I don't need to fix? Who do I need to give my money to to make me like more correct for society? You can't focus on anything else and you can't like help other people or contribute to the world in any meaningful way. Also, the second you're like out with people, if I'm out with people who I love, I am not thinking about if I look disgusting. I know. Or if, you know, like, it's like, that's also the second you move outside that perspective, it's gone. Like, it's like it is, it traps you, but it's also like, it only works if you feed it. Mm-hmm. It's ephemeral. Yeah, I, I, I do notice that. I feel like I've, I've noticed that, that I've, there's a connection between when I'm feeling more depressed, I'm more self-critical of how I look. Yeah.

100% and it's like, anytime I'm starting to be super self-critical of how I look, I'm like, oh, something's going on. I'm getting depressed again. Yeah. Because when I'm focused on something else, then I'm not thinking about what I look like, you know? Oh, geez. You guys, you guys, you're fucking, you guys are so beautiful. beautiful well you're so beautiful and everyone and and also like every everyone is so beautiful is the thing too we last night we were you know talking about who do you think is the most beautiful person

um but what i want want to say to that point is like i couldn't i was like well this person well but this person oh my god this person so beautiful have you seen this person because like there is no such thing yeah and also your personality changes how you look And that's another thing that's forgotten. And the people that you love are gorgeous to you. Well, yes. And like there's been this deep flattening of aesthetic appearance where it's been flattened to mean this one thing that then isn't actually real, like when you're in a dynamic organic life, when you're in life, it doesn't matter. It changes so much depending on how someone is in the world, you know? And we.

you just disregard that in favor of like, I don't know, pictures. It's so stupid. Yeah. Yeah. And, oh, I just want more for May and Silas than to be trapped by it. Yeah. I think having rich relationships with people who love them is the greatest gift that you can give them and you are doing that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to be given a blowjob to the shrimp sky in the corner. No. No, that doesn't help. That was a real tough moment.

That's a real tough moment. It's a real tough one. Yeah. This was this was up there. This was up there. Yeah. In terms of true and end, very little reprieve from any of the really, really, really difficult stuff to hear about. Yeah.

Really wasn't ever. a moment that was okay ever i don't think the whole time yeah i didn't feel good i didn't feel good at all yeah it's a tough one but i did love it and i think everyone is so good in it so if you are brave do give this a watch my lordy lordy i'm excited to see what this filmmaker does next i thought this was i thought it was excellent so and yeah it made me feel a lot of feelings I'm feeling a lot of things. Do a lot of reflecting. And I think that that's the point.

So mission accomplished. Good job. Good job, Emily Blackfelt. She did it. She did it. She succeeded. She reached her goal. And we reward her for that with a seven on IMDB.

Her movie made money and that's the goal. Okay, let me do it in Norwegian. accent again. There's Sophia Lochnis and Flo Flagheri. From all of us here, too scary didn't watch. Oh, that is beautiful. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. We did it. We made it. Thank you all for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoy the show, please remember to subscribe and rate us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, five stars only, or we will haunt you. simply can't get enough of us. We have good news for you. We have lots of bonus content available

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