Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Animal Attacks Monthly Update - Bobcat Tossing, and Animals vs. Humans

Episode Date: May 21, 2021

Wes gathered up a bunch of notable animal attacks that hit the news over the past month. Then, the crew talks about the Animals vs. Humans poll that's been making the rounds online recently. It goes off the rails pretty quickly. ~~ To advertise on the show, contact us! ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social:  Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds                          Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If the world were like a sleep number mattress, everything would adapt for your comfort. Because as your life changes and your body changes, sleep number mattresses adapt and shift to give you personalized comfort night after night. And now everything's on sale during our Memorial Day event. Save up to $1,200 on mattresses for a limited time. To experience a whole new world of comfort, visit a sleep number store or go to sleepnumber.com. Sleep number, to a good life sleep. Hey everyone, welcome back to Tooth and Claw. On today's episode, we're trying something a little bit different. West gathered up a bunch of different animal attack headlines from over the past month and brought them here to discuss them with us. Also, one order of business I want to address real quick, you guys probably noticed that we had a little bit of technical difficulties, especially regarding Apple Podcasts. And while it looks like we retained pretty much all of the ratings and reviews that we had previously, we would just like to extend a real quick invitation for you guys to, rate this podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave a review for us.

Preferably a five-star rating and a positive review. But, you know, share your honest feelings, I guess I should say. And if you guys want some more tooth-and-claw content, you can always join our Patreon, where we have quite a few bonus episodes recorded and posted there that you guys will be able to access as soon as you join. And we think that they have all turned out pretty well. And everyone seems to think they're a lot of fun. So, yeah, you can join at Patreon.

dot com slash tooth and claw podcast. Thanks again for listening and we hope you guys enjoy this episode. So yeah, let's get to it. Okay, how's it going, idiots? What's up, guys? Hey, come on, man. Uh, how's your guys week been? So I've got, I've got something to report actually. It finally happened to me. I had a wild animal, uh, wild animal attack nightmare. Oh, okay. Wes, guess the animal. Oh, you'll never be able to guess. It's so stupid. An opossum. Actually, that's pretty close. It was a pangolin. I almost guessed pangling.

I almost guessed it. You should have. But I woke up thrashing. It felt like something was actually attacking my left shoulder. And I woke up and I punched myself for like a minute. I was thrashing around in my sheets. Nothing was there. But I couldn't go back to bed and I had a really bad bloody nose.

I think you're probably the only person that's ever had a panglin. Why did you have a bloody nose? nose. Oh, I have no idea. I probably hit myself in the heat of the moment. That's an intense dream. I don't think I've ever woke up from a dream with a bloody nose. I've waken up with a bloody nose, but it's not like I'm getting attacked by a pangolin. I'm just saying, watch out for panglins, everyone out there. Oh, man. Hey, Wes. Yeah. Do you think a person could beat a panglin in a fight? Oh, we're going to get into that a little bit later. We got a fun poll that we're going to look at. Here's what I kind of had.

I had an idea. Okay. And so just bear with me here for a second. I think we get sent a lot of questions from listeners about like really recent stories that had just happened. And I feel like sometimes we try and kind of tackle those as we release episodes, but I don't feel like we generally get into them quite as much as I'd like. And so my idea was for us to have an episode maybe once a month where we kind of look back at some of that month's news. in wildlife attacks.

Ooh, it's a good idea, Wes. Yeah, or like interesting wildlife things that happened that month. They don't necessarily even have to be attacks, but just really interesting stuff that's happened. You always have the best ideas. Oh, Mike, stop, stop. I had a bad idea last week when we went and saw that terrible movie together. That was awful.

Truly awful. I saw a really good, like, beaming review about that movie. Yeah, me too. What is it? We saw Army of the Dead, which was like the Zedner zombie movie. It was not good. The preview looks kind of good. Zach Snyder can at least pull together a good preview.

I thought it was great. Yeah, he's got good previews, terrible movies. Anyway, so that was my idea. I think it's a fun one. I think it'll give, you know, an extra episode a month too, which is fun. Yeah. So my approach for this was like there was a few that I knew of that I wanted to talk about. But then I was also just Googling, like I would just Google coyote attack or like

tiger attack or lion attack and then look at the news and it was crazy as I was doing that every single animal I typed in had a result from the last month wow like it was wild yeah sent you that one Colorado lady who got attacked by a killed by an alligator no oh yeah the black bear yeah that's one we're going to talk about a lot of people sent us that one that's probably actually let's just go ahead and talk about that one now because that was the first one I wanted to talk about A little bit of background on this Colorado one. It was a 39-year-old woman. Her name was Laini Malavolta.

She was out on a late, not late, but kind of late evening walk with her two dogs, and she just didn't come home. So then they mounted a search, and they ended up finding her body. It was like in a wooded area, and she had a lot of neck damage. And it was pretty much immediately apparent

that it had been some sort of animal attack just because of how kind of intense these injuries were. And so then they did find a bear with two cubs nearby, a black bear, and they did euthanize that bear, and they found human remains in the mama bear's stomach as well as one of the cub's stomachs. The other cub didn't feed on her, but the mom and the cub did. We have a black bear episode, and we talk a lot in that about how usually when a black bear does attack a person, it's almost always predatory, and that seems to be the case here. This mama black bear, for some reason, decided that she was

going to attack and eat this woman. Now, an interesting, thing and a thing that I think is really key to this story is that she was with her two dogs. I'm not totally sure what happened to dogs. Triggered the bear maybe? That's probably what happened. I'm guessing these dogs went and chased down the bear. The bear chased them into Laney and then attacked her and then decided to eat her. Yeah, that sucks.

That's often what happens with dogs. It's like a pretty big issue. It just feels like you should be safer with two dogs. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I couldn't, you know, I probably should have done a little bit more research. but I'm not sure how big her dogs were. I'm pretty sure somewhere I read that they were some sort of like doodle or something. Let me see if it's, I've got the article up here.

It doesn't say what kind of dogs they were in this article at least. But again, like super tragic. We had a bunch of people send this one to us. I think it goes to show though when a black bear does attack someone, it always makes the news because it usually happens in these communities like Durango where this woman was attacked where people see bears in Durango every single day. Durango is a very bear heavy town. There's bears in town all the time, and they're constantly there.

And if they were actually targeting people for attacks, like Durango would have an attack every single day, but they don't. And so when it does happen, it really makes news in it. It's all over the internet, and that's what happened with this one. Super tragic, though. It sucks. I mean, she's just a couple years older than me. What's the theory behind the other cub not having eaten of the woman?

And what's the... I think the fact that, like, her body, I think, was mostly intact and there was just like some human remains in these bears probably means that they had started eating her and then something scared them off. This was in like a pretty residential area. So my guess is that before this cub could even eat, something came in and scared them off. That's my guess. I'm not totally sure.

Again, though, like, if anyone out there knows this woman or anything, her hearts go out to you. Super tragic. Just happened. So that's the first one that I wanted to go on. While it's kind of heavy, I guess I might as well talk about the other one that's pretty heavy. In West Yellowstone, a man was attacked and killed by a grizzly bear. This month?

Not too long ago. I think it was probably about a month ago. Oh, yeah, I did here. Yeah, so it was a guy who was really familiar with the area. He was Montana, and I think he was actually from West Yellowstone. How long have the bears been active in Yellowstone? Like, when do they start? They came out pretty early this year.

So they usually, like a grizzly will usually come out of hibernation in the Yellowstone area in like mid to late April. But this year because it was, I think, a somewhat mild winter and because it warmed up pretty quick there, I think they came out even a little bit earlier than normal. I know Bear 399, which is that really famous bear in the Teton's was seen in like early April. So they came out a little early and this one had actually found a moose carcass or it had maybe killed a moose. But it was it was protecting this moose carcass and this guy who, let me say, his name, was Carl Mock. He was 40. He was a guide in the area. He was a photographer. I don't know if he had like seen the bear, knew the bear was there and was trying to get close to it to take photos or what.

But somehow he ended up being attacked by this grizzly. He was mauled pretty horrifically and then taken to the Idaho Falls Hospital and then he died of a stroke a couple days later in the hospital. And then the crazy thing about this story is some wildlife officials went in. I think it was a fish and wildlife service. They went in to inspect the scene. And as they're going in, they're making like tons of noise to make sure they weren't mulled as well. And the bear was still on this carcass. There were seven of these dudes. And the bear charged them and continually like kept charging them to the point where they had to shoot it to get it to stop.

It didn't leave the area. Which is pretty insane behavior for a grizzly to charge seven people like that. And it really lends to this idea that if they are protecting a carcass, especially one as big as a moose, where it's going to feed them. for, you know, weeks, they're going to be doing that pretty tenaciously. They're not going to let anyone take that over. So that's what, that's definitely what was happening here is this is a big male grizzly and it was protecting a carcass. I have some friends that actually know this guy and apparently he was a really great guide and a cool photographer and stuff. Okay, the Bobcat. We've talked about the Bobcat. We brought up the Bobcat story in an earlier episode,

but I don't feel like we really gave it enough attention. Shout out to T Money Jackson, one of our loyal listeners, who unfortunately for a long time we said was a guy, but it's actually a woman, so so sorry for Ms. Jeddrey. I had, yeah. What do we do that here? We're not doing our research. We've gotten a few questions from her.

Yeah, we really did a poor job with that. A very simple search could have solved that for us. She's great, though. Thank you for all your questions. Yeah, totally. And she was... Should have looked at her LinkedIn profile. Yeah, I guess.

It's a bit of a deep type. She was the one that initially asked us about Bobcat attacks and what she should do if she were attacked by Bobcat. And we laughed her off. And then this video popped up. And we brought it up in another episode where we kind of went over the video briefly. But I was doing a little bit more research into it. And I found a New York Times article that goes into quite a bit of detail.

about what actually happened with this bobcat attack. So I want to go over it really quick with you guys, then we can talk about it. So it was Burgao, North Carolina, and the two victims were happy. The guy's name is happy. And Christy Wade. So it's like a husband and a wife.

So just remember this dude's name is happy. I'll never forget. Yeah, happy Gilmore. Which is great. Yeah, happy Gilmore. So he was carrying a pan of brownies, and she's carrying their kids. cat and they're walking out to their car. The cat's in a carrier. It's Friday morning and they're

heading to the vet because their cat has like an appointment, just kind of a checkup. And as they're walking out, I guess, happy had said to passing jogger, good morning. And then he said, I need to wash my car. And then right at that moment, his wife, what was their name again? Christy. I actually know someone named Christy Wade. Hmm, that's weird. Anyway, Christy heard an angry growl and she thought it was just like a neighborhood cat that was maybe pissed because she had her cat with her. But it was a rabid bobcat and it was crawling out from underneath the car. And she says, I won't soon forget the look in that cat's eyes. It had its sight set on me and that's when I ran.

So she starts screaming, oh my God, oh my God. And the bobcat lights her left hand and then crawls up her back and onto her shoulder, which you don't really see that in the video. When this is all happening, she's kind of off camera and you just hear her screaming. Then Happy runs to his wife, he pulls the bobcat off of her, he holds it in the air with his hands, and it's like writhing and growling and scratching at him. And he yells, oh my God, it's a bobcat. And then he just yeats it across the yard, like just chucks it. And so then he starts screaming, get out, get out, get out.

And then he also has a concealed carry weapon. So he pulls it out and then it shoots, the bobcat shoots back under the car. and then he yells, I'm going to, well, he says, I'm going to fucking shoot it. And then he, and then the jogger's still by, and he says, watch out. It's a bobcat that attacked my wife. Wait, that's verbatim what he said. Yeah. So that's a funny way to watch out.

Yeah, he yells it to the jogger. It's a good exposition. Yeah, exactly. I think he needs to be like that descriptive. Oh, totally. That's true. say like watch out it's a bobcat the guys can just be like okay so but it's like you got to say like it attacked my wife this jogger has seen him like then panic him throw an animal across the yard

and then pull out his gun so the jogger's probably just like what the hell is going on uh so then like the clip ends but i guess he shoots the bobcat and then a sheriff deputy um also shoots it when he arrives. Well, he just wanted to get one in. Yeah, it's probably just like just the corpse of the cat. We got to get that that body cam footage from that cop. He's just like, I think I see it moving a little bit. So anyway, they like, they, I guess they're animal lovers. They like serve on the board of a local humane society. So for them it was pretty sad. But they learned that like it. It.

had actually attacked another neighbor 10 minutes earlier, which is pretty crazy. And then they both had, like she had bite marks on her hand and scratches on her arm, claw marks on her back and other wounds. And then he had bite marks on his hand and also some really deep scratches. So they both got some antibiotics and they both got the rabies vaccine. And for the listeners, it's actually good that they killed it because a bobcat with rabies can spread rabies to other bobcats. Oh, totally. And to people.

And yeah. So it's better to like just not have that. I don't know. It gets better for bobcats. You know what I mean? It's better for bobcats. Honestly, too. If like an animal is repeatedly attacking you like that, you're within your right to take care of it, you know?

But yeah, like Jeff mentioned, this wasn't a typical bobcat. And that's kind of why we laughed off that question initially. Bobcats are shy. They don't attack people. They're much smaller than us. They don't see us as prey. There's just no, there's no real situation where a bobcat's going to attack you unless it's rabid. And that's what happened here is it was rabid.

And rabies just really affects animals and people in a really crazy way. And it makes them feral and just really, or I shouldn't say feral, but it makes them vicious. And it makes them not really recognize that something is bigger than them. They'll just attack anything. I'd just say it makes them confident. I don't think it's like, too bad. It makes them pretty vicious. Like I've read some crazy stories who are, yeah. Oh, you're joking.

So next time I go out to like find a girl at the bar, I should just get. You'll do way better with rabies. This summer, serve up the cookout classics. Oscar Meyer hot dogs and Heinz mustard. Grill up a dog, add classic yellow mustard, or loaded Chicago style. We all know it's not a cookout without Oscar Meyer and Heinz. If the world were like a sleep number mattress, everything would adapt for your comfort. Because as your life changes and your body changes, sleep number mattresses adapt and shift

to give you personalized comfort night after night. And now everything's on sale during our Memorial Day event. Save up to $1,200 on mattresses for a limited time. To experience a whole new world of comfort, visit a sleep number store or go to sleepnepnumber.com. Sleep number to a good life sleep. So that's the Bobcat story. It's a great story. And it was one that I really felt like we needed to give a little.

extra attention to just because yeah sorry T money truly truly sorry to things I guess made fun of you and that we misgendered you okay so another one I wanted to bring up one that I had sent multiple times to me and one that I actually got in a little bit of an argument with some people online was this video I don't know if you guys have seen this one it's a video of a mountain biker in Montana it's actually a couple years old but it just kind of barely took off Oh, where the bear's trying to kill that guy on the bike? Yeah. See, Jeff's trying to push my buttons right now.

But this guy's, he's biking down like a ski run or something or a bike trail. And there's obviously someone on a chairlift. And they're videoing Black Bear and it's running. And it looks in the video like it's chasing this guy and his bike. And if you were just looking at this video and you didn't have any kind of knowledge of black bear behavior, you definitely would think, oh, it's chasing that dude. So if you want to see this video, it's on like a bunch of different famous nature accounts on Instagram. It's on Nature's Metal and a few others.

But essentially, what's actually happening is from my point of view and my opinion is that bear is pretty scared, something spooked it, and it's just trying to get away. And the way that you know that is it's running a straight line, whereas this guy on his bike is going around corners. And bears aren't, they're not like great predators. They're not stock and kill predators. They're not like a wild dog in Africa or like a leopard or jaguar or something in a jaguar in South America where they are so good at hunting that they've kind of learned how to guess where their prey is going to go and intercept them like that. And so this idea that the bear would be like running a straight line to try and get the guy as he rounds the corner doesn't really add up for bear behavior. That's not something they really do.

And the thing that seems like it doesn't really even notice him on this. Yeah. And that's the thing that proves it is like there's this idea that it's like running a straight line to intercept him. But he beats it to that line. And so you would think if that were the case that bear would turn and go right after him because he's right there. And it's like, look at him. Right, exactly. It doesn't even look at him.

It just continues to run a straight line. So it was just a spooked bear. It wasn't chasing that dude. It also wasn't running full speed. And if a black bear is chasing you trying to kill you, it'd be going full speed. It'd be trying to get you. So it just was spooked and didn't really know where to go and it was just trying to get away. So that was another one.

Mike, have you seen that video? No, I haven't even heard of that. Okay, I'll send it to you at some point. Okay, well, let's just keep on cruising. It's crazy, dude. The bear totally tries to kill him. That's what it sounded like to me. Totally running.

Totally running in a straight line. I don't know. Wes's scientific, extremely experienced opinion, doesn't do a whole lot to swim, how I view the world, to be quite honest. Okay, so I got a couple more. Like I said, there's a lot that happened this last month. So there was a man in Florida whose dog was attacked by an alligator. It was a chocolate lab.

They were like by a pond or some sort of water. And he saw a gator spring up and grab his dog and pulled into the water. And it started, he said it started to go into a death roll. Oh, yeah, I saw that. So his dog is in the water and he jumps in. It's like a tiny little white dog. No, no, that's a different one. That's one from like a while ago.

This one, like maybe five or six months ago, this one just happened like a couple weeks ago. Oh, no, I know the other one. They're like on a boat dock? A boat dock? I don't think there's any video of this one. I think I know the one you're talking about too where the guy got bit on the shoulder. But this is like, there's no video this one. What other kind of dock is there?

I know this one. Can I finish? Yeah. Well, I don't know. We'll see, I guess. All right, so he runs in, the dog has the, or the dog has the gator. The gator has the dog. It's starting to do death roll, and he grabs the gator,

and he's like thinking about all the things he's ever heard about gators, and he decides to try and gouge its eye out. So he starts poking in the eye and picking the gator up out of the water. And when he does this, the gator does let pressure off the dog, so he's able to free the dog from his jaw. but as he's doing this, it bites him on the hands. So it's really similar to our crocodile attack with the Mother's Day episode where she frees the crocodile's jaws and then it bites her on the hand.

I think if you're freeing anyone from a crocodile or an alligator, just expect to get bit on your hands. Yeah. That seems to be what happens. That's fair. Fair game. When you said he thought of everything he knew about gators, I kind of took a second to think about everything I knew about gators,

and I came up blank. I don't really know anything about Gators, it turns out. You listen to like a whole hour of West telling you stuff about it. I was going off like 15 minutes of sleep. So if I really expect me to remember much. Are Gators the ones whose teeth go up or down? Gators go down. Down.

So remember, with crocodiles, it's both. And Gators, it's just down. Right. So there's none of them where it's just up. Crocodiles, it's like the scissor. It looks like a zipper. And gators, they just point down. What if the gator has a really bad underbite?

Then maybe you'll see the bottom teeth too. Yeah, I guess. Good question. Anyway, both of them were okay. Jeff, the one you were thinking about, I know the one you're talking about. I'm pretty sure that was like a staged one. Like one of the gator experts I follow broke that video down like scene by scene. And he's pretty sure that guy like it wasn't real and he like pretended.

his little white dog was being attacked by an alligator. Okay. Interesting. So there was like a woman was intact in British Columbia by a cougar a couple weeks ago. We're not going to go in a lot of details on that one. There was a gray fox in Maine that had rabies that attacked like three different people. And then there was some farmers in India that were attacked by a tiger. They were seriously injured.

Luckily didn't die. Good. A really interesting one was a crocodile in Australia, jumped into a bow. and attacked a man in the boat and like ripped his seat up really bad so um apparently didn't get him it got the seat and like ripped it up really bad maybe it was like alligator skin seats and he just pissed at the seat when you when you say he jumped into the boat do crocodiles breach are they are they getting all the way out so so like have you ever seen those videos where they're feeding crocodiles like chicken from way high up i probably i don't know

know. So pretty much like, what they do is they use their tail and they use their tail and it like propels them up out of the water. So they can get pretty high. Like they'll get all the way to where their bottom legs are out of the water. Cool. And that's probably, that's how it pushed itself into this dude's boat. The article I read was very, uh, it's like skimpy on the, on the, uh, or that's not the right word. There weren't many details. So I don't know exactly how they got the crocodile out of the boat. Did I say alligator earlier? I might have. I'm getting stories. You said alligator. You were right. I'm not totally sure how they got the crocodile out of the boat. I'm not totally sure. I guess they looked for the crocodile, but they couldn't find it.

It was probably a saltwater crocodile, for sure it was. It was in Australia, so it was a saltwater crocodile. They're one of the more dangerous species of crocodiles. They attack Australians every single year. We haven't done a saltwater crocodile episode yet, but we for sure will. It would have been easy to identify, probably. You just have to look for the seat shape in its stomach. Yeah, the one that just got, yeah, I guess.

Oh, man. Saltwater crocodiles are the biggest crocodile species in the world. They do get really, really big. Again, I didn't, like on this episode, I'm not going to look through all the facts. Like as big as a bus? The stuff I know off the top of my head, they get, they're not as big as a bus, but they can be like, I'm pretty sure up to like 25 feet long. Whoa. So they do attack people every year.

They're just like any other crocodilian where their main method of attack is going to be like a stock in the water, pull something down into the water with them, try and drown it, do that, you know, that gator roll, that famous death roll that we've talked about to both kill and to rip off chunks of meat. But they're like super easy to beat in a fight. They're not. So we're honest to that. Yeah, you just got to shove your fingers up their nose and they can't do anything. It might help. Okay, so I got one more story. This is a pretty good one.

Did either of you see the video of the tiger that was like in a like a suburb in Houston? No. A suburb in Houston? No. Yeah. So there's this video where there's like this guy and he's filming it from his porch and he's just like, holy shit, there's a tiger in my street. And then there's like a guy with a gun and he's got his gun pulled on it. And the guy's like yelling at the guy to get back in his house and that he's going to shoot the

tiger and all this stuff. And the tiger's not acting aggressively, but it's like slowly walking towards this guy. So apparently all of this happened. The tiger's in the street. No one really knows what's going on. This off-duty officer shows up and he's got his gun. So he pulls it on the tiger. And then he's about to shoot it when this guy, Victor Hugo Quavez, jumps out of a nearby house and like pleads with this deputy not to kill the tiger. And he like grabs the tiger. And he like grabs the tiger by the collar, kisses it on the forehead, and takes it into his house. Victor Hugo. Like, man of many talents.

And so everyone's like, they're all like wondering what's happening and what's going on. The tiger's, apparently his name is India. It's a nine-month-old male tiger. So because of this, like, Houston police... It's a good tiger name. Yeah, it is. Yeah, totally. Houston police are looking for this dude and the tiger.

And when they figure out who he is, they figure out he's got a murder charge. and he's out on bond for a murder charge and he's been arrested already like he's had multiple violations of his bond all this stuff has happened and they're like trying to figure out if this tiger is his and he's saying it's not and his wife is saying it's not

because apparently it's like somewhat legal to have a tiger in Texas but not in Houston so because of this this dude like disappears but then they find him again and they revoke his bond and he's got this pending murder charge and his new bond is like $300,000

and then finally he admits that it is his tiger didn't see that one coming yeah exactly this tiger is now at a sanctuary in Texas but it's kind of a crazy story because a

like this tiger had been loose for a little while I guess and people had been reporting it around the neighborhood and then the dude just like runs out and kisses it on the forehead and takes it back into his house And he's just a murder. Yeah, and then he's an actual murderer, or at least has a murder charge. So, pretty crazy story.

I bet he killed someone to get the tiger. Like he, that was like his price for killing someone. Somehow the tiger and the murder's connected. Yeah, maybe he used the tiger to murder someone. Yeah, that's a good point. Then the tiger's the murderer, though. There's a good call to go with India for the tiger's name and not United States of America. totally or something like that okay so yeah I guess yeah it could have been like India or Nepal

or a few other countries China Ukraine um Indonesia uh yeah no there's none in the what but in Russia yes um not in Ukraine though okay so I'm going to show you guys the last thing that we're going to talk about um and this I think deserves some good attention because this is a poll that Jeff mentioned earlier that was practically made for our podcast. It's got some really interesting stats in it. So I think we should all take a look at it. But I am going to show it to you guys. Okay.

So this was a poll by UGov. It's called Rumble in the Jungle, What Animals Would Win in a Fight. So they have a couple different parts to this poll. First, they had a section where they had animals versus animals. And they had each animal, like in a series of head-to-heads, And then they showed figures of the times that people guessed which animal would win that fight. And they're pretty interesting.

So like elephant was the one that won the most fights. It won 74% of its fights among all these different poll respondents. It looks like it tied with rhino. Yeah, elephants and rhinos. You're right. They both had 74%, which is pretty on the nose. I think of all these animals that are in this pole, they're the ones that probably deserve the top two spots. Now, I think.

I think there's, yeah, I would say so. Do you see something in there? In our hippo podcast, you put it above a rhino. I don't think I did. I said rhinos and elephants were the only animals that could beat them. You think a rhino beats a hippo? Yeah. Oh yeah.

Really? Just spears it? They're bigger, they're meaner. Or they're not necessarily meaner, but they're like tougher. Hippos are like 8,000 pounds, aren't they? Rhinos are bigger than hippos. What? I'm pretty sure rhinos are the second biggest land mammal.

But don't quote me on that. But like black rhinos, I'm pretty sure the second biggest. And your mom? By weight. Yeah. Sorry. Third biggest. Okay.

So if you look at this list really quickly, which animal do you think is the most off? Hippopotamus. Oh, you think hippos should. Yeah, I think hippo should beat tigers. So hippo and grizzly bear should be third. I would put it second. I'd put it above rhino. Okay.

Well, from my hippo research, I know that they don't attack rhinos and that rhinos could kill hippo. Rhinos don't attack hippos I think they like there's been definitely times where they've met at water holes and the rhino runs the hippo off Nice okay I want to see that the Komodo dragon's the weird one to me I know it has dragon in its name but

So you think it should be lower? Yeah I do Okay the one that really stands out to me is walrus They have a lot of animals Above walrus And walrists are huge Like even polar bears don't usually take

on walrus. When a polar bear takes on a walrus, it knows it might die. Wow. And for me, like, polar bears would be in the top 10 of this list for sure. And they have walrus at like 25 or something. They have like orangutans ranked higher than walrus. HoneyBadger is ranked higher than walrus. Which one do you think ranked way too high? I'm kind of thinking cheetah. Cheetah's too high for sure. I would say Cheetah they have 56. So, like, they have cheetah above moose and above buffalo. Like, buffalo should definitely be above cheetah. Even like a walrus.

Chimpanzee. Yeah. An interesting thing for me was that unarmed human was second lowest. So they think, like, an unarmed human couldn't beat off a coyote or... An ostrich. Yeah, an ostrich is tricky. But for sure, we could beat off. I should say beat off.

For sure. We could fight off a honey badger, an eagle, what else did I say? A coyote. A king cobra probably? If we're being smart. I mean, yeah, that's the thing. Like, cobra could maybe beat any of these things. But it was really interesting to me.

They have polar bear lower than grizzly bear, which is probably true. But they have polar bear lower than alligator, which definitely isn't true. There's a lot of, there's a lot of messed up stuff in this animal fights category. Right. I think, like, we're, our. point in our podcast is to prove a lot of these wrong, and we will slowly. The one I really want to talk about, though, is their next poll, which was which of the following animals, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed? So this one doesn't have quite as many

animals. It's a little easier for us to talk about. 72% of the respondents said they could beat off. Man, I don't know why they keep saying that. They said that they could fight off a rat. That's low. So there's, yeah. That's terrible. I was thinking about it today. I don't know of anyone in my entire life who I've met that I don't think would beat a rat in a fight. Exactly.

Like you could just like a fall on top of it. Maybe like a baby. Right. A single rat. Maybe babies were pulled here. I guess if babies answered this poll, that's a good point. I saw someone writing this big long experience. about how rats carry all these diseases and stuff.

And that's not what this poll means. Yeah, it's still like I'm going to kill the rat before it kills me. Exactly. I think that's the metric is who dies first. And for sure that rat's going to die months before you die. Anyway, I don't know what's crazier to me. The fact that 28% of these people think they couldn't kill a rat or that 6% think they could beat a grizzly bear in hand-to-hand combat.

Or no, the craziest thing to me in this. entire poll is that 8% of people think they could take an elephant unarmed that they could beat an elephant that is wild to me that was like the only one where I was like no I couldn't beat that one I mean you're not going to be a rizzer bear you're not going to be a lion you're not I think the only ones in okay so let's do that really quick which ones do you think you guys could take in a fight yeah everything but the elephant because I and Mike watched like a UFC fight and it was this dude named Usman. Yeah.

Okay. And he was just like stomping the person's foot like over and over and over again. And I was just thinking like if an elephant got me in the corner and started stomping my foot, I'd be done. Yeah. You know? But like any of the other ones, I think I'd have a good chance. So you think the only way the elephant beats you is if it gets you in a corner and stomps your foot? Yeah.

You know what's funny? is that when you were telling that story, I was thinking you were going to say you would stomp the elephant's foot. And I had this answer of how, like, elephants have very conically shaped feet. It'd be really hard to actually stomp it. But then you went a totally different direction of that. I like on this graph,

you're showing us that picture of the dude just punching the kangaroo. Have you seen that video? Because that video is amazing. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, I'm going to describe it. So, like, the kangaroo, like, somehow has his dog in, like, a chokehold. It's my headlock. A strong, like, chokehold headlock.

And the dude just, like, runs into the frame, like, all pissed at the kangaroo. And the pangaroo lets go and just, like, faces up on him, like, like, a person was going to, like, fight, you know? Right. So the dude just socks him once in the jaw, and then, like, they both kind of go their own way. Yeah, the kangaroo, like, back. backs off and it looks all stunned for a second of like it has no idea what just happened. It's truly one of the best like defense videos I've ever seen where the person just does exactly what was needed to like defend themselves and defend the dog and it just totally

ends the whole situation. It's really good. So I'm going to say mine really quickly that I feel like I could take in a fight. For sure a rat, for sure a house cat, for sure a goose. In fact, when I see all those videos of people being chased by geese online, I always just think, turn around, grab it by the neck, and it'll stop. You can stop. Chuck it like that. Dude chucks the bobcat. I'm not chucking it. I'm just holding it and not letting it bite me, but it's a goose.

It's not going to hurt you that badly. Like when you see people just falling down on the ground and stuff because they're so terrified. medium-sized dog, I think so. Eagle, for sure. I'm doing Eagle work right now. They can really rip you up. You probably, if you're not careful with its talons, you're getting ripped up real bad. But I'm going to win that fight still. Large dog really depends. I mean, I don't, I think that's where I'm probably drawn my line. Yeah, I think a large dog beats me. A chimpanzee beats me, a king cobra for sure. Kangaroo, I don't know. I think I have a fighting chance against kangaroo. Wolf beats me, crocodile beats me, gorilla beats me, elephant beats me,

lion beats me, grizzly bear beats me. So for the kangaroo, that was about exactly my list too. Except for I think one out of 20 fights, I think I could get lucky with the cobra and do like a whip move and just like slap its head against the wall or something. Yeah. I think probably like, I think more than, I bet 50-50 with the cobra, you're being okay. Well, you're a snake guy. I'm not.

You're more confident than me. If not more than that. I mean, they're big snakes. So if you got to its tail, you could probably take care of it. I hate, I hate thinking about this, by the way. Like, I hate thinking about, like, hurting a king cobra or fighting any of these animals. It makes me, like, feel really gross. All right, go ahead.

Sorry, keep going on. So with the kangaroo, I think it'd be more a battle of endurance because it doesn't really seem like a kangaroo has a good way of killing you, you know? They're good kickers. Yeah, they kick hard. Really? So if they, like, kicked you in the head, they could... They've definitely killed people. Okay.

Well, never mind then. Yeah. I think, I think I could take all of them except large dog and elephant. Okay. You're just, you're taking the rest of them. You're gonna, okay, cool. The lion would be tricky, but like, you got all that hair to grab onto, you know? Have you ever had someone grab your hair and just yank it in a fight?

I actually have. It motivates you, dude. It makes it so hard to fight back. That's never happened to me. Because all you're like, you're just like, I just want them to let go on my hair. And the lions have a ton of hair. Well, I think if any of these animals that you just mentioned you think you can beat wanted to actually kill you, you're not beating any of them.

Actually, I know that. I know that for a fact. I guess we just have to find out. So not surprisingly, men are much more confident in their ability to fight off a lot of these animals. and I don't say that as like, oh, men are a lot stronger. I just mean, in general, men tend to be much more delusional. Delusional about their ability to fight things off. Yeah, so I saw another bear biologist tweet about this,

and he said that his whole crew had talked about it, and they agreed that they don't think they could take any bear greater than 60 pounds. And I would say I'm right around that same weight. Like, we've handled bears. How old is that for a grizzly bear? Like seven months? That'd be like a yearling, yeah. Like, or no, for a grizzly bear?

Yeah. Yeah, grizzly bear in its first year, it's going to get that big. So yeah, probably like six or seven months. But we've handled, me and Jeff have handled black bears that are like around that range, 60 to 70 pounds. What was his name? Homer, when we first caught Homer, he was about that big. He was also the one that we caught in the tree with Clint.

and they're strong. I mean, they feel still like, like their muscles feel like rock. And if it really wanted. Yeah, I mean, we tried to hold a cub once that was probably like 20 pounds. And it was pretty hard just to restrain that little cub even. So I just, yeah, I think that's about my weight limit to with the bear. I think anywhere from like somewhere between 60 and 100 pounds is probably where my cutoff is where I feel like I can. Well, even like, if you're going to go by that, even the.

house cat, those can be hard to hold on to. Yeah, that's true. It's a good point, I guess. Anyway, it's a really interesting poll when I saw it as like, man, we have to talk about this and we have to talk about it soon. Like, I think it's interesting in that it really shows how delusional a lot of people are on both sides of that, the fact that people don't think they could beat a rat, and then also there are people out there that think they could take an elephant in a hand-on-hand fight. Anyway, is there anything else you guys want to say about this poll? It's fun.

It's pretty funny to like, yeah. Very funny on both sides, like you were saying, that 28% of people are like so unconfident that they don't even think they could be like a two pound rat. Right. And then that 6% of people think they could be a grizzly bear, 8% think they could beat an elephant. 9% think they could beat a crocodile. That's not stupid.

You just stick your fingers up their nose. It's easy. Yeah, that's low. That should be like 90%. Oh, man. I mean, there does need to be some more context in this for sure. Okay, well, I think that's it. I mean, honestly, this is kind of a new format for us.

I do think it's fun for us to be able to bring up stuff that's a little bit more contemporary. Yeah, that's fun. Good job, Wes. Hey, thanks, Jeff. I appreciate it. You're welcome, dude. Love you Anyway

Hey I love you too Jeff We don't say it enough Mike we love you too Love you too Mike All right Should we just end it with that Yeah we love Just end it with that

We love you guys Yeah We also love you All right thanks guys We'll talk to you later We'll see it Bye Bye