Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Glenn Bohn and the Brown Bear: A Grizzly Face Off in Alaska

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Glenn Bohn's hunting trip resulted in one of the most gruesome pictures ever taken, but the truly stunning part of the story comes after the picture was taken. This is the story of what might just be ...the toughest many who ever lived. Watch here: https://youtu.be/1qdKkSmkuPU ~ Ethos Life Insurance: Protect your family with life insurance through Ethos—get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/tooth. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. LMNT: Get a free 8-count Sample Pack of LMNT's most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/tooth. Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and lower your bills—join at https://rocketmoney.com/CLAW. Smalls: For a limited time, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life, when you head to https://Smalls.com/TOOTH. ~ To advertise on the show, contact us! Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/c/toothandclawpodcast ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social:  Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everyone, it's Wes. I needed to do a quick disclaimer before this episode. We talk about this a lot in the episode, but I wanted to put it at the very top. There's a photo associated with today's story that is incredibly gory. It is hard to look at. I'm not going to tell you not to look at it. If you feel like it, go for it. But it is very, very, very extreme. So wanted to let everyone know that because you might be Googling the name already. The photo is pretty intense. And it might stick with you for a while. So, you know, use your own discretion. You can decide whether or not you want to look at it. But I wanted to make sure you guys heard that first so that there wasn't anyone that was surprised when they looked it up and realized that it's a photo that is hard to forget.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Two other quick things. We do have a YouTube channel where you can see all of our episodes in video format. You can see us talking, see us laughing, see us grimacing. So check out YouTube. The photo that I bring up during the discussion isn't going to be on YouTube. It's going to be blurred, but it is going to be on our Patreon channel, which is another thing I wanted to plug. We talk about it a lot, but if you ever want more content, there is a ton over at Patreon. It's only 10 bucks a month, and I promise you're going to like it. All of our episodes go up as videos. There's a lot of chatter and comments and fun to be had over at Patreon. So check it out. I really think you'll like it. Okay, that's it. With no further ado, here's the episode.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Hello everyone. Welcome to Tooth and Claw podcast. We have our bear wildlife bear biologist. If I say bear, twice it makes it sounds like you're a bear. Yeah, it kind of does. He's not a bear. He's a human, but he studies bears and his name is Wes Larson, aka Grizz Kid. You may have seen his humpback whale out there. I'm his younger brother, Jeff Larson, and I was a field tech with a black bear project and we have mike smith who's just kind of along for the ride but he does a lot of good stuff um someone let me out of this ride we are a podcast that talks about animal encounters um yes yes animal encounters that sometimes end up fatal and we like to keep a
Starting point is 00:02:31 scientific perspective on everything uh so yeah If the animals needed a lawyer, we would be like a good group to reach out. Go ahead and... Expert witnesses. Just toss this hot potato over to Wes. Yeah, he'll take us home, maybe. Yeah, I would say we're a podcast all about animal encounters, like Jeff said, but often how they're misrepresented in the media.
Starting point is 00:02:59 We want to tell those stories, but give the animals their fair shake. And yeah, I think between those two introductions, you should understand. and what we do here. How are you guys doing today on this hot summer day? Man, it's a hot one. You know, I wish I had Santana behind me. You're like Rob Thomas. It's a hot, hot one.
Starting point is 00:03:19 What a good song. I have something that I just can't figure out for the life of me. Yeah. Thai food. It just always looks so good and sounds so good. And then I just never like it that much. Like, it's not bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:34 It's a little too sweet for me usually. And that's coming from a guy who loves sweet stuff, but I think I want my meals to be savory and my treats to be sweet. I honestly can't pin it down. Like the meal I ordered today was perfect, and I was just like, I don't know. Yeah, what did you get? Sometimes Choi.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Choy. That sounds more Vietnamese. Vietnamese, yeah. Thai. I love that. Tie is often in contention for my number one. It's like either, depending on the. day it's Thai or Japanese for me for cuisine. So I don't know what you all is on about. That was crazy.
Starting point is 00:04:10 This is crazy talk. It's usually, it's usually Italian or Mexican for me, but Japanese is right up there. Also, very good. You don't like fish enough for Japanese. I don't. But, you know, just about everyone has fish in a lot of their cuisine. So I kind of, you know, I'm putting all that on the other side, seafood stuff. But you're right, Japanese has a lot of seafood. Same with Korean. Thai doesn't have much, I don't think. Not sure how to solve this mystery for you, Jeff. Maybe it was a COVID thing. Maybe we need to call in or know. Like, I can't even explain why is what.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Huh. I got. Then we brought. Cali soy, this one. And it looked just like that, too. Huh. Yeah, it's all blurry for us. But that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:54 It wasn't blurry. Okay. It looked. It was. You guys want to hear something funny that Jeff did to me recently. So we, I record in my shed and it is out in the middle of my yard. And I occasionally have a cricket that decides to join us while recording. And that cricket, once I called a starling this year, because I couldn't hear it and I could hear a starling.
Starting point is 00:05:19 So I thought you guys were hearing the starling. But it was a cricket when I listened back. I was like, oh, that's obviously a cricket. I was like, sure it was a cricket, but I wasn't going to tell you what was in your own shed. And it's happened before too. We've had that cricket be a guest. And the other day we went to record and it was like, no, we were playing VR minigolf. And the cricket was just hammering in my shed.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Like I could hardly hear my thoughts over the crickets constant chirping. And it was driving me crazy. I was looking under the shed. I was like, man, it's in here with me. So I was lifting up my furniture. I just could not find this cricket. And then Jeff's like, hey, did you look under your dead? desk and it's like a very my desk is wide open so I was like no and then he's like you should look
Starting point is 00:06:07 under your desk and sure enough Jeff had attached like a cricket thing that he could activate from afar underneath my desk and it was driving me up the wall it's genius so yeah it was pretty good activate from afar by telling your girlfriend to oh she she switched it I was wondering I was like this thing doesn't look technical enough for Jeff to like trigger it from Utah, huh? Yeah. Yeah, it was awful. He poned you. So it was a good prank. Good prank. You poned me real good. Well, speaking and getting poned, uh, today's subject really gets poned in a bad way. Um, yeah, this, this story really for me revolves around a photo. And to be honest, it might be the worst mauling photo I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:07:00 And I've seen some really bad ones. Like you guys have seen some really bad ones. We looked at the Timothy Treadwell autopsy photos. This one's worse, in my opinion. It's really, really bad. Imagine how, if I'm being honest right now. But I'll let you prove me wrong. Part of the reason is how gory it is.
Starting point is 00:07:17 And part of it is because the person is still alive when the photo was taken. And if you guys are listening just on auto. Okay, auto. If you guys are listening just on audio, Wes actually has the photo frame behind them. I'm wearing a big cutout of the photo on my face. Yeah, it's really irreverent. No, I am going to show the boys the photo while we're recording.
Starting point is 00:07:40 I do think I want to talk about this, but I think maybe our Patreon people are going to see it live while they're watching the video. But it's not a hard one to find on the internet, and I'll tell people how they can find it. I would, I'm going to have some disclaimers for it here in a second. But basically the reason it's so hard for me is because I think when I'm seeing a picture of someone who's dead that was mauled by an animal, you can kind of imagine that a lot of
Starting point is 00:08:06 that damage took place after they died and that, you know, maybe they just like bled out really quickly and then the animal ate them a bit or something and that's why it looks so bad. But knowing that this guy is alive and he's totally conscious and functioning, it's insane. And I think when you guys see the photo You're going to agree that it's just absolutely insane Yeah It's like a Harry Potter picture And they're still moving around and stuff
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah it's like moving Yeah and you have to like give it a code to get into a room Now this story is getting crazier and crazier All right So there's probably people out there right now That are Googling it just based off like our title of the episode and everything I just want to warn you that it's probably worse than what you're picturing It might scar you a bit
Starting point is 00:08:51 if you've never seen anything like this. For Jeff, who's a resident dark web expert, this is just a Thursday. I'm off my meds, so it'll stick with me. Oh, man, I never know. How long have we been off the meds? Is that a new thing, or is this? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Since I got norovirus and I couldn't keep anything down, so then I couldn't take my meds. And then I just kept not taking them. All right. Well, anyway, this whole episode is kind of constructed around this photo. And that's because it went somewhat viral in 2020, even though this incident happened in 2016. But when it went viral, it went viral in certain quarters of the internet, like Reddit and whatnot, because I think if you posted this photo to social media just directly, it would probably get censored. I have a hard time believing that it's really floating around on like mainstream social media.
Starting point is 00:09:42 It's like the ring. It is kind of like the ring. Yeah, if you see this photo seven days later, you're getting mauled by a grizzly bear. If you post this video seven days later, you get banned. Yep, you get your face ripped off. The photo has been attached to a number of different bear attacks, including a man named Wes Perkins, but that's not who the victim was. No relation.
Starting point is 00:10:06 No relation to me, just another Wes. Initially, there... Anthony Perkins, maybe? Could be related to Anthony Perkins. We haven't done that story yet, so I can't tell you for sure. It's a psycho? It's possible. You know, you just never know. Anyway, there was a video that was posted as well, and I couldn't find it.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I think it's been kind of scrubbed from the internet. And then there's a number of other videos that were said to be part of the story that actually aren't. You maybe have seen this video of people harassing a grizzly bear on the snow in their snowmobiles. And it's maybe the most beautiful brown bear I've ever seen in my entire life. and right as like they're about to hit it, it turns around and swipes at one of these guys and they speed off on the snowmobile. It's a viral video that's out there.
Starting point is 00:10:55 People said it was part of this story. It is not. It's different, totally different thing. One other thing I want to mention to is that in Alaska, a snowmobile is called a snow machine. That's what you call them in Alaska. I spent a lot of time on them in Alaska during my polar bear work. And because this story all takes place in Alaska,
Starting point is 00:11:15 I'm going to call them snow machines. So snow machine, snowmobile, it's the same thing. And people in Alaska are very particular about that, by the way. I was going to ask what they call those machines that make artificial snow, but they don't really need one of those up there. Snowblowers. No, that's not a snowblower. Alaska is not as good of a name.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Just use snowmobile. I don't know. Because there's lots of machines that work in the snow. Yeah, like a plow and have like snow responsibility. But what's a snowmobile? Like, I don't know. I don't think it's that much better. What?
Starting point is 00:11:48 Like an automobile, but on the snow. Yeah. I'm not saying you're wrong, Antarctica, or where are we talking about? Alaska. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. I'm done. All right.
Starting point is 00:12:01 I'm done talking. Sorry. Finally. I can't think of 10 other machines that I would think are snow machines, too. Yeah, it's not super clear. And I will say when I first got to Alaska and people were saying snow machine, I was like, huh? Like, what's that?
Starting point is 00:12:15 You know, but that is what they call them. What's what we're going to call it today? Another thing I wanted to talk about. Well, I'm going to get confused. Okay, that's fine. What about the smashing machine starring the rock? What do they call him up there? This is not about that, that particular film.
Starting point is 00:12:29 I don't think he should have been named that. There's a lot of machines. Yeah, the smashing mobile is what he should have been called. All right. A smashing machine is obviously something else. It's those hydraulic presses that we see. Obviously, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Am I going crazy? be yeah this episode is brought to you by ethos i remember the first time i had to consider getting life insurance it was my first job after graduating from school and i called my dad just talked to him about all of the onboarding that they were having us do and the thing that stuck out to me was how much of a no-brainer he explained life insurance was to me it seemed like out of all the benefits that were on offer life insurance was the single most important thing to him and i just remember how important it seemed to him to be able to have that peace of mind that he was going to be able to take care of his wife and kids
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Starting point is 00:13:36 And that's what stood out to me about ethos, honestly, was just how fast and easy this process was. 10 minutes is all. I didn't have to leave the comfort of my own home. there's no medical exam required. You can do it 100% online. You can get a quote in seconds. You apply in minutes and get same-day coverage.
Starting point is 00:13:52 And you'll get your lowest rate from Ethos' network of trusted carriers. So take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free quote at ethos.com slash tooth. That's eth-h-h-os.com slash tooth. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. we're going to be talking about hunters again my main source on this story is a hunting podcast which is called the hunting collective which is part of the meat eater family of podcasts when we talk about hunting there's a lot of opinions and i did just want to kind of say my opinion really quickly and i'm going to give you guys time at the end to talk about your opinions but my opinion is that hunting for food is one of the better and more ethical ways to eat meat i think if you're going to eat meat and you go out and collect it in the wild. You're killing an animal ethically. You have a connection to your food.
Starting point is 00:14:45 The animal gets to live this nice, torture-free life. I think it's a good way to get meat. It contributes to wildlife conservation. It does. Yeah, there's a lot of contribution to conservation. Our North American model is based on hunting. I kind of think it's a good way to die, too. If somewhere around like 65 years old, someone just shoots me and I'm gone, it's better than, you know, like cancer for 10 years or something. Yeah, and I would love for them. to eat my body. Yeah. I'm just thrown.
Starting point is 00:15:14 I don't know if I believe this. I'm just throwing that out there. If you eat meat and you are okay with like a cow being in a feed lot its entire life, just kind of like stuck in a tiny confined space, but you're not okay with an elk that lives a wonderful life out in the wilderness and has killed you mainly. It's just kind of, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:15:31 there is a bit of a disconnect there for me, but I do think everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But do you agree with Mike that it's a good way for like the elk to die? I do usually if they're killed yeah if it's like a good shot and a good kill I do because how how do you elk typically die in the wild from predators yeah getting munched on disease disease falls yeah trees falling on them my opinion on trophy hunting is that it does serve as a beavers get on the lot trophy hunting can serve a big purpose financially it can contribute a lot of money to conservation but personally I don't understand the mindset of wanting to kill something just to kill it or just to have a trophy. It just doesn't make sense to me. I can't see things that way. But I do think my thoughts on the necessity of trophy hunting to kind of further conservation
Starting point is 00:16:21 in some areas has evolved. I have kind of learned that there are some places where it really is still necessary. And we will do a full episode on it at some point. That being said, I really think they should have killed mountains of bison. I don't. I don't like that. And that was, I mean, that was trophy hunting. And that was also to try and like to take over the indigenous population by taking care, like removing their main source of food.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Oh, so you do think they should have. No, I don't. Not at all. So the specific type of hunt that we are going to talk about today, I really don't like. And I am going to make that clear. It's the spring brown bear hunt in Alaska. You can read a lot about how people think it's important that we manage brown bear numbers. but I believe that they naturally regulate their own populations,
Starting point is 00:17:11 especially in really wild places like the place we're going to talk about today. And the thought of shooting a bear right as it emerges from its winter den just does feel kind of wrong to me. I don't love that. It is legal though. And I'm not going to say that these people are bad people because they do it, but it just doesn't sit right with me. I think it's probably fair than like chasing and treying a bear with dogs
Starting point is 00:17:34 or shooting one that comes into a bait station because there is still a good amount of danger involved with it, as today's story is going to illustrate. But I'm not going to call this one an attack because this was a bear defending itself from an attack. And regardless of how you feel about bear hunting, if you don't agree with that, I am curious to know why. If a bear coming out of its den in the winter and being shot isn't an attack on the bear rather than vice versa, I don't really understand that train of thought. Let's talk about our people. Glenn Bond moved from Colorado to Alaska in the 60s, and he worked in the last frontier as a school teacher.
Starting point is 00:18:13 He did a lot of hunting. He'd hunted his entire life, and from what I could gather, he hunted just about everything in the state that was legal to hunt, like including before they were like banned from hunting beluga whales. This guy hunted everything. And that was a tradition that he passed on to his son, Brett. and Brett started hunting squirrels and rabbits at about three years old, and by the time he was eight, he had shot a caribou and a moose. He got really into hunting as he got older. He started guiding right out of college,
Starting point is 00:18:45 and he took people to hunt and kill just about everything that you could get a permit for. And Glenn Bone also did some guiding as well, the dad. When he retired from school teaching, he started guiding in the 90s, and he worked as an assistant guide all the way up to 2015, which is the year before this incident takes place. So all of this is to say these are two very experienced Alaskan outdoorsmen and hunters. Brett probably leaned into it even more so than his dad,
Starting point is 00:19:14 and by April of 2016, he'd either guided hunters or hunted himself just about everything you possibly could. He was also incredibly well-trained in safety, first aid, and he possessed some serious certifications and qualifications when it came to wilderness and backcountry safety and response. He also was a certified bear guard and had been for about 10 years. Last name is Bone, you said? It's Bonn, but it's B-O-H-N.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so I was going to say, it's a good hunter's name. Bone would be a good hunter's name. I may have said Bone at some point, but it's Bonn. It's pronounced Bonn. I am going to title this episode, Bone gets Poned, though. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:19:55 I like that. Again, regardless of how you might feel about the whole hunting angle on this story, these dudes really did know their way around the Alaskan backcountry, and they were extremely well prepared. Wait, what did you say his bear thing was? He was what? He was a bear guard, a certified bear guard. So those are people that can be hired to, like, hang out around, like, survey crews.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Yeah, nightclubs. Yeah. whatever to make sure that that bears aren't going to come in and hurt anyone. The major's like, let me see your human ID and the bear's like, oh, here's one and it's like, that doesn't look like you. Yeah. I bet that happened a lot. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Get back on those meds, Jeff. It's mid-April, 2016. It's actually tax day in 2016. and they decide to go on a spring bear hunt about 60 miles east of Denali National Park at the Alpine Creek Lodge. Glenn and Brett leave the lodge that morning on snow machines, and basically the thought was just to cover as much ground as possible and look for a bear den. There's still a lot of snow on the ground, and this is the kind of hunt hunters, are just looking for a den that has been opened by a bear,
Starting point is 00:21:20 which means the bears come out, it's slid around, it's walked around a little bit, but it still hasn't left the den site. and bears do often spend a fair amount of time around their dens before they actually leave. So when they wake up, they often kind of like go in and out and they're walking around a little bit and kind of just like waking up and figuring out if it's actually time to leave the den site. And so that's exactly what these two are looking for. They're looking for a big Alaskan brown bear that hasn't yet left its den. Quick reminder on what we mean when we say brown bear.
Starting point is 00:21:53 The species name here is Ursus Arctos. So this is the same species we have in places like Yellowstone and Glacier that we call a grizzly bear. And then you can also find them in like Russia, in the Middle East, in parts of Europe. It's the same species. This is probably a different subspecies. Like the subspecies here in the lower 48 is often called Ursus Arctus Horobillus. I don't know if I necessarily believe that it's its own subspecies. But this is a grizzly bear, also called a brown bear.
Starting point is 00:22:25 In Alaska, they typically call them brown bear. All right. All right. You got that? Yeah. Let me try to write that down. Write it down, Mike. I want to see it on the wall behind you next time we record.
Starting point is 00:22:37 When bears hibernate and they go into those dens, are they, do they ever cash food? Do they have like a food source they bring nearby or anything like that? Why do you think they don't do that? They just are done eating. Yeah, I mean, their bodies are programmed to just kind of shut off. You know, and they're just, they're going to slow that metabolism down. They're going to recycle urea. They're not going to, they're going to have that fecal plug in that myria prevents them from
Starting point is 00:23:05 urea that prevents them from pooping. Right, exactly. Would you want to keep eating if you couldn't poop? That'd be tough. Yeah, what if you had, what if one of your many anal plugs was in and your butt plugs and you couldn't poop? Yeah. Or you had to poop.
Starting point is 00:23:20 I mean. I wouldn't know how to deal with that. Or those balls from the handmaiden? You ever think about that? Yeah, I have a lot, actually. All right. All right, Glenn Bonn is 77 at this time. And I think Glenn and Brett both know that this might be Glenn's last chance to do this kind of hunt.
Starting point is 00:23:40 So both men really want to find a big bear for Glenn to kill. It's a sunny day. The snow hasn't really gotten soft yet, though. And Brett knew they probably really only had this one day to really find what they're looking for because once the snow gets too soft, you can't really write a snow machine on it that well, and it's harder to walk around and to find these dens. They're about 25 miles into their snow machine ride, and he sees exactly what they've been searching for all morning. And what that is is an open brown hole in the white snow, and all around it are the unmistakable tracks of a large
Starting point is 00:24:15 brown bear. They stop their snow machines. Brett takes a closer look through his optics, and then after following the tracks with his eyes, he decides that none of them led away from the den and that it's very likely that this bear is still inside of the den. All right. I'm not totally sure. That's a bingo. That's a bingo. That's what he said.
Starting point is 00:24:38 In a German accent, weirdly. He just stuck his head into the big brown open hole and looked inside. I was wondering. I was wondering you guys were going to be able to resist. I almost made it through. I couldn't. I'm so sorry. When I wrote that in my notes, I thought.
Starting point is 00:24:53 we're going to see. We're going to see how they do with this. I failed again. I'm glad you took the bait. Maybe someday, but not this day. But not today. I'm not totally sure why, but for some reason, Glenn really didn't love the idea of checking out this particular den at that moment,
Starting point is 00:25:08 because this seems like exactly what they're looking for, but he told his son that they should come back tomorrow. Brett, though, was planning on leaving that evening, and he told his dad that tomorrow isn't an option, and then Glenn suggested they flip a coin, and Brett pretty much says, He doesn't have a coin, and his dad either needs to decide if they should leave or if they should go check out this bear den. Got him on a technicality.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Yeah, I don't have a loophole. I don't have a coin, sorry. Nothing we can do. Turns out it would have been great had they had a coin in this instance. So finally, his dad relents. It's tough out there in this economy. Yeah, let's go investigate this den. All right, Jeff, quick break.
Starting point is 00:25:49 When we went inside Black Bear Dens on the study that you helped me with, What was the overall danger level that we were facing? I mean, it did depend a lot on the den, I think. Like, if it was a more open den, I would say maybe like a three out of ten. If it's like a really enclosed tight den, I'd probably say like a six. I think we always knew there was like the chance we would get swatted or bit or something like that. But never did I feel like there was a bear that wanted to kill us. You know, it always just felt like with black bears, they really just want to get out.
Starting point is 00:26:25 They want to get out and get away. And if you're in their way when they're trying to do that, there's a chance you might get injured. But they're so risk-averse in their dens that I know biologists that have had to just lay flat and let the bear run over top of them. And that's what it does because it just wants to get out. And this is so common that most black bear biologists have done den visits and a lot of black bear wildlife managers have done den visits. They're very common. This is not the case with brown bears. They're extremely grumpy and defensive in their dens,
Starting point is 00:26:57 and it might be one of the worst places that you can run into a brown bear. And this is anecdotal, but Tom Smith, my mentor, used to tell me about a study in Scandinavia, where he said the researchers tried to sedate brown bears in their dens, like we did with black bears. And what they would do is get this big metal grate, throw it over the top of the bear's den entrance, and then the bear would come rushing out
Starting point is 00:27:20 and they would have their entire team like holding this metal gate against the den entrance while they tried to sedate the bear and it was like an experimental study and he said multiple people on that study got mauled by brown bears. Yeah. So I tried to look this up.
Starting point is 00:27:37 I couldn't find it anywhere but if anyone out there knows anything about this please send it to me because Tom used to tell me about it and I just thought man that is the craziest idea for a study. Yeah. Well, like, it's just your hands would be able to get bit. They're, like, so good at, like, I just remember that one bear that was in a trap, and, like, a dog placed its paw for one split second where the bear could get it,
Starting point is 00:28:03 and the bear bit the paw. Yeah. It's like, they're so quick with that. And I've been around both black and grizzly bears and traps, and the way that grizzly bears are scary in traps outweighs anything that I've pretty much seen in my life. You can tell that it just wants to kill you. And I don't blame them. You know, it's a scary, really terrible environment for them.
Starting point is 00:28:26 There are a fair number of mawlings and fatalities that have happened at brown bear dens, whether or not it's people that are actively looking for them or someone that's stumbled across one and getting mauled by the bear. It has happened a fair amount of times. And they are probably one of the more, if not the most dangerous bear. to encounter in a den, even more so than polar bears. So this is, I'm just trying to illustrate all this to let you know, this is a dangerous way to approach a bear and a hunt, is to crawl up to an unoccupied den.
Starting point is 00:28:57 The men couldn't take their snow machines safely up the hill to the den. Is that why, or you kind of said you don't know why, but is that why the dad was kind of hesitant? Yeah, I don't know. He'd hunted bears before. I don't know if he'd ever hunted them this way, like in a den. But they didn't, in the interview that I listened to, which was with Brett, he didn't really elaborate why his dad didn't want to do it. Like, it seems weird to me that the dad wanted to go back, almost like they, he wanted something else.
Starting point is 00:29:27 It does to me too, because you're going to learn that Glenn Bonn is maybe the toughest person that's ever existed on this planet. So I don't really understand it either. But we're, yeah, I don't know. Maybe we'll get some clarity on it sometime. So they can't take their snow machines safely up to the den, so they decide to walk. And when they get close enough to this den entrance, there's kind of this flat vantage point that slopes very slightly up to the den, which is about 35 yards away from where this flat area starts. And in between where they're standing and the den, there's a little dip in the snow that just kind of like dips down,
Starting point is 00:30:04 and then it slopes back up to the den. So Brett says that they should go check out the tracks, but his dad said that he's fine just waiting there. And Brett didn't want to leave him, but his dad insisted. So Brett then checks to make sure that his dad has a round chambered in his rifle, which was a 300, and then he went to inspect the tracks. Brett walks up around the den entrance, and he's just looking at the tracks with his back to his dad and the den about 40 yards away. And as he's doing this, he's realizing how especially big these tracks are when he hears his dad yelling that the bear was coming out. he spins around to see this massive brown bear lumbering out of the den and luckily completely zeroed in on his dad
Starting point is 00:30:49 and i say luckily because at this point brett's just a few yards away from the bear and his dad's still like 40 yards away and his first thought is that his dad is going to have a great shot at the bear and that when he shot it it would probably spin around and then brett could shoot it again and make sure it goes down but that is not how things went. Glenn Bond did kneel down. He does get his rifle up and he does get a shot off, but it's right as the bear started charging at him and right as it had settled into that dip that I talked about a second ago in between where Glenn was and the den. And because of that, the bullet just grazed off the back. Maybe it's like meaty backstraps, but it doesn't do any real damage. It doesn't break any bones. It doesn't hit any organs. It just hits meat. And if anything,
Starting point is 00:31:37 it only further enrages this bear. Does the bear catch any air off of it? Sounds kind of like a ramp almost. Off of the dip. Yeah. I hope so. I don't know. That wasn't included.
Starting point is 00:31:48 It does like a 360 grab. Kick flip. On instinct, Brett, who's standing up above the den, raises his rifle to put the bear in his sights, but it's so close and moving so fast that he's struggling to find it in his scope. Because, you know, scopes like zoom way in, so he can't really see it. And then also on instinct, goes to jack a round into the chamber of his rifle, but he already had one in there, so this live
Starting point is 00:32:12 round was ejected, and it adds a second more to his timing. And down below, Glenn is also trying to get another shot off with his 300, but his second round jams in his rifle. Oh, no. And I do just need to take a second here to reiterate why we never recommend rifles as your primary bear deterrent tool. These are two dudes who probably have spent more time around their rifles than anyone any of us have ever met in our entire lives. And when they really needed them to work, the shit hit the fan. And they ran into some big issues. And it wasn't a great deterrent for them.
Starting point is 00:32:49 But we are going to talk about Brett's secondary deterrent, which was his secondary firearm in a second. And that did work much better for him. So it only takes the bear a couple seconds to make impact with Glenn Bond. And Brett said it looked like a semi-truck hitting a fire hydrant, which I really liked that description, where it was just like. One second it's there, and then one second it's gone. Yeah, probably a little bit of resistance still, though.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Maybe. He's a stout guy, you know. Yeah, I don't think Glenn's that big of a guy. He's tough, but I don't think he's that big. Yeah, fire hydrants are like, what, three feet tall? Yeah, I think he's bigger than a fire hydrant. Are the hobbits? They're not hobbits.
Starting point is 00:33:30 They're not hobbits. For everything I read, they're not hobbits. But, and if they were, their name would be like bone, Feet or something. I don't know, Bon feet, whatever their name is. Yeah, you got it. Nailed it. All right. That was really poor.
Starting point is 00:33:46 It's getting hot in here. So one second he's there and the next second he's gone. The bear had grabbed him by the neck and was shaking him and the momentum of this charge had taken them down the mountain a fair distance. So Brett is holding his rifle in his right hand. He throws it to his left hand. And with his right hand, he draws his 454, Casool, which is a high, caliber revolver and he starts sprinting toward the sound of his dad trying to fight off this huge
Starting point is 00:34:13 brown bear that was currently ripping his face off. Oh, damn. Brett runs over to this flat area. He crests the hill and he's surprised to see how far this bear had gotten with his dad. So he keeps sprinting downhill, never for a second thinking twice about what he had to do. In fact, later when people would investigate this scene, they said that his strides were equal to those of like Olympian sprinters because he was running so fast and confidently. Wow.
Starting point is 00:34:40 In the snow too. In the snow. Yeah. That's really impressive. Sure. Yeah. The dip. He probably jumped.
Starting point is 00:34:47 He did it. He did a 720 grab. Brett did a sweet freestyle walk as he jumped off the hill. Have you ever woke someone up that was like as mad as this bear was right when it woke up? Oh yeah. You feel like I've seen that from you this week? You think I'm not mad when I wake up? up. Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Oh, yeah. You're just holding it in. You start rampaging. Yeah, when we were at that place the other day, you just wanted your food so bad. That's hangary. That's not like, that's true. That's a good point. When I wake up, I have no thoughts. I'm like, not mad. All right. What if the, yeah, who's to say the evanescence girl? What if they wake her up? What if she's mad?
Starting point is 00:35:31 Maybe that's why people aren't waking her up, you know? It's like she keeps asking. It's like no. Yeah, you're too mean when you wake up. You mauled. There's been a few, like, pranks I've seen where the guy will be woken up with, like, a bucket of water or something. Yeah. And just, like, immediately out of bed and, like, run straight into a wall. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Like, maybe that's kind of what this bears do. Getting woken up with water is such a terrible way to get woken up. I hate it so much. But it is effective. All right. So when he gets close to the bear, one of the first things that Brett notices was how much blood there was. everywhere. An almost unbelievable amount of blood was spread
Starting point is 00:36:09 out all around the bear and his dad who was lying on his back. And I will say, if you ever look at pictures of like polar bears killing seals, because everything is white, the blood really just like, you see every speck of blood. Yeah. And I think that's what Brett was seeing here.
Starting point is 00:36:25 So his dad's lying on his back, the bear had been biting his dad's face and shaking his entire body by the face. And when Brett first looked at his dad, he said his face looked kind of like a weird, almost unidentifiable red blur. Like someone had taken red paint and smeared it across a face in a painting. Like the picture Jeff showed us of his Thai food.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Yeah, exactly. Just unidentifiable. Both the name and the, if anyone can figure out what Jeff was eating, you deserve an award. So he makes noise to get the bear to stop malling his dad. And the bear does turn to look at Brett while still laying on his dad's body. It kind of slides down his body a little bit. And Brett knew he had to make his first shot count.
Starting point is 00:37:10 So he walks to within a few yards of this bear, and then he raises his casool, and he shoots it in the neck. The bear backs off a bit, and Brett fires again, this time hitting the bear in its vital organs, but it still doesn't go down. In fact, the bear spins around and lunges toward Brett, and he has a split second to think about how this is his final shot. This shot is going to decide whether or not,
Starting point is 00:37:34 he lives, whether or not his dad lives, whether or not they survive this encounter. So he leans back and he fires and he hits the bear straight in the head and drops it a few feet away from where he's standing. Man. Brett then shoots the bear a couple more times, mostly just because adrenaline's pumping through him at that time. And then he runs back to his dad who's about 50 feet behind him now because he had kind of chased his bear down the hill. As he runs back, he thinks that he might only have a few seconds to say goodbye to his dad and tell him like how much he means to him but he's about to be surprised in a couple really big ways the first big surprise and here it comes i'm going to have to show you guys this photo is just how horrifically mauled his dad was um if
Starting point is 00:38:22 you're queasy and you don't like hearing these descriptions no one likes them but if you can't handle them you might want to skip the next little bit let me go start my meds again look You guys, I messed up real bad. I've shared my element with too many people, and now every month about 12 people are asking me for more element. What animal do you think would share a lot? Maybe like a turtle. I'm like the turtle of element.
Starting point is 00:38:50 But now it's gotten violent. Like, if I go missing, look for the people who I've given boxes of element. It's kind of like in the dark night where he breaks the pool stick and then throws it in the middle of three people. I'm having to throw boxes of element in the middle of groups of people. No, but honestly, especially with the new iced tea flavor that has a little caffeine in it, people have been hitting me up, and it is kind of nice to feel popular. But also, it hurts a little to give any up because I love every flavor that I have.
Starting point is 00:39:24 I find myself hoarding the grapefruit more than any other flavor, but raspberry's been really hard to give up recently, too. But don't take my word for it. It's trusted by Stanford neuroscientists, so take their word for it. Also, just try it out. Get a free eight-count sample pack of elements most popular drink-mixed flavors with any purchase at drinklmintee.com slash tooth. Don't forget to add grapefruit in that and find your favorite flavor or share with a friend. If you don't like it, no question-ask refunds.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Try an element and see how you feel. If for any reason you're not satisfied, Elements customer service team will take care of you. I do want to say, people have given me a hard time before in the Timothy Trudewell episode about maybe showing Mike those photos when he expressed some reluctance. I cleared this with Mike before I did this episode. Jeff, I know it doesn't care, but Mike I cleared it with.
Starting point is 00:40:24 So I do have his permission. Yeah. This bear had essentially split his. face in half and torn those two halves free. So Glenn's nose, mouth, left eye, forehead, and pretty much all of his facial skin and flesh are dangling on the sides of his head. What was left was just a gory red mess of ligaments, teeth, blood, and one bulging eyeball in a bloody mess. It's as bad as anything I've ever seen in a horror movie, and probably worse because it happened to a real person. and I'm going to go ahead and show you guys now,
Starting point is 00:41:01 unfortunately, what this looks like. Oh, my God. That's almost beyond. Comprehension. It almost doesn't even register as like a real human being. Well, it's, yeah, it's like that's like someone who got blown up by a bomb in war. Yeah. You know, and is dead.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Yeah. All right. I'm going to stop it. So the second big surprise, though, is how cohabel. parent Glenn was considering the nature of his injuries. When Brett runs back to his dad, he was so shocked to hear his dad talk normally and start moving around after learning the bread had killed the bear. And they start talking about what they had to do next to get help.
Starting point is 00:41:46 So it's just like his dad is just kind of acting like everything is normal. In fact, I told you so. Yeah. You got that coin? It is so crazy that he didn't even complain about his face At one point he complains about his wrist Because the bear had broken his wrist in several places But he doesn't say anything about his face
Starting point is 00:42:10 Which is if you don't see this photo His face is caved in There's nothing there Like it's just gone So it's insane It's just blood Yeah well it's like Ligaments and blood
Starting point is 00:42:22 It's more like tissue Yeah it's oh I wonder at what bad of an injury as you'll ever see. Glenn is just out of control for surviving this in the first place. But I do wonder at what point Brett with his dad is just like your face? How are you feeling? You're doing okay?
Starting point is 00:42:45 Like starts holding up fingers and stuff. Yeah. So Brett does fall back on his training. He immediately starts assessing his dad's injuries. Even though there's blood everywhere on the snow, he doesn't notice any serious like, arterial bleeding. And it seems as though nothing is really obstructing his dad's airway either. So then Brett does kind of try to pull Glenn's face back together and sort of tie it up with some bandages. And when he does that, Glenn does start choking and having trouble breathing.
Starting point is 00:43:14 So he undoes these dressings and he just lets his face flop to the sides again. Basically, both men know that they have to get to medical assistance. Yeah. And that means getting back on the snow machines. Right. It's like how fast do you drive when your face is flopping up? Exactly. And we're going to talk about that. But before they get back and they start heading towards safety, Glenn had a request for his son. And what he said is, I want you to take a picture of me. And Brett obliges. So Glenn's laying down in the snow, his face splayed wide open, and Brett takes this photo and a minute-long video. And then Brett does his best to help his dad to his feet in the snow.
Starting point is 00:43:54 As he does, Brett steps backwards. and he feels something under his foot. So he looks down and he says, verbatim, what the heck is that? And his dad, who had already been looking at this object in the snow, says, oh, that's my ear. Brett bends down, picks his dad's ear off the ground, wraps it in some tissue, puts it in his pocket,
Starting point is 00:44:15 and then they carefully walk down the hill to the snow machines. No way. No way. Do you think he looked at the ear? Because his eyes were pretty messed up. He saw his ear? Yeah. He could see out of one eye still.
Starting point is 00:44:28 I wonder if he heard it. Yeah. He's like, he's like, ah, you just stepped on my ear. He's like, what is this? Dad, can you hear me? So they get down to the snow machines, and it takes them a while, Jeff, you just kind of mention this. It takes them a while to find a comfortable position for Glenn to sit down where his face isn't going to flop around too much on the snow machine. And they do a bit of shuffling before they finally find a position.
Starting point is 00:44:57 and it's somewhat comfortable for Glenn. And then on the way out, Glenn asked Brett if they could stop to take a photo with a bear. This dead bear is essentially right in the middle of the tracks. So Brett's like, sure, what the hell? And they stop and they take another photo of his dad, this one of them sitting on the snow machine with the dead bear nearby. So I'm going to show you guys that. I like this Glenn guy.
Starting point is 00:45:18 I'm excited. I know. Glenn, his face is gone. What? This is the one where the blur makes a lot of sense, like the red blur. it's like you can't even make out that it's a human being it just looks like a weird red smudge where his face is it looks it looks like one of the alien movies where like the face turns into like a huge mouth yeah right the smile like a demigorgon in stranger things like yeah i wouldn't
Starting point is 00:45:46 if i didn't know what had happened i would just not i think west just left the call anyway we'll keep going me and jeff um if i didn't know that that that was was actually his face, I would never guess that that's what I was looking at, you know? I know. It looks like material draped over someone's head. Like the second one, that second time wasn't, here comes west. He's back. I accidentally hit leave instead of stop sharing.
Starting point is 00:46:14 That second photo is like almost doesn't feel hard to look at because it's, I don't feel like I'm looking at a torn off face. So it's like, now that I know that, it's probably going to stick with me forever. now and that first one is so gnarly but yeah without the context i'd just be like what the heck's going on here yeah it's so when i messed up his face when i first started like bear biology tom showed me those those timothy treadwell autopsy photos and i had gotten online to like google to say that's nothing i know that's not what i said but i've gone online uh to google to see if i could figure out you know, the audio and stuff. And I didn't find anything. And then later in my career, like in 2017 or 18 or something, I did it again. And this photo popped up. And it scarred me more than any
Starting point is 00:47:10 other like bear thing ever had. And I just couldn't get it out of my head. And I think about it all the time. And so in a way, this episode is going to be kind of cathartic because whenever I'm thinking of a new episode, I'm like, man, should I do the terrible photo one? You know? So I'm glad that we're kind of getting it out of the way finally and that you guys have to share it with me. All right. They, you know, they cover this 25 miles back to the lodge in about 90 minutes, which is pretty impressive. When Bright gets there, he runs in, he tells the workers that his dad had been mauled by a bear and then he needed medical attention. They call a helicopter, and when the medics arrive and all these people get a good look at Glenn, they are not able to hide their shock
Starting point is 00:47:53 at the side of his face. Everyone notices that this is very bad. And he even does his best. Glenn is kind of comforting some of these medics and telling them that he's going to be okay. Like he's like outwardly talking to these people and saying, I'm going to be okay. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:48:09 You'll be okay. Glenn's the man. I know. So cool. So there's a weird backstory to this story. And it's basically the biggest hospital in Anchorage at one point had held Brett Bonn against his and his parents' wishes while he's having some really serious medical issues.
Starting point is 00:48:27 And they kept him on medications that may have been exacerbating those issues. And it was this big crazy legal drama. And his parents essentially had to like kidnap him to get him out of the hospital. Oh my gosh. Yeah, because of that, there was a really healthy distrust of this hospital and of hospitals in general. So during the flight, Glenn tells the medics not to take him to that hospital. and they change course to go to a smaller hospital in Palmer, Alaska.
Starting point is 00:48:57 When they get there, Glenn is taken into surgery immediately. It's like he shouldn't be able to be making decisions like that. I know, I know. It's like, what is it? Like, how, it's just crazy that he's even, like, thinking about any of that. The thing is, like, he should be, like, fighting for his life. Yeah. From what I read, like, not only is he, like, making,
Starting point is 00:49:21 those decisions, but he's making them, like, confidently. Like, he's telling them, hey, you know, go to this hospital and, like, they're like, yes, sir. And he's, like, telling them where to fly and stuff, too. Imagine they take them to the Anchorage one and he just, like, sits there with his arms folded and won't get out. Absolutely not. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:41 This is the ultimate dad story. Yeah. Just a guy who's, like, backseat driving the helicopter driver and stuff. But he's, he's, like, really kind to them. too. It's crazy. And he has like a sense of humor and stuff too. He gets taken into surgery immediately and he's really lucky that the reconstructive surgeon is on shift and he's there when he gets there. And they work on him for hours immediately and essentially just sew his face back on. And the craziest part of all this. And this is where he reaches like my newest level of toughness of maybe
Starting point is 00:50:13 anyone in any of our stories is that he turns down all of the pain meds, all of the anesthesia, and any blood transfusions. And that's because of his son's, like, weird history with the hospitals. So they do this, they raw dog his surgeries. And he raw dogs every subsequent surgery after this, too. I know. Yeah. It's like the best part of getting hurt.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yeah, that's right. Like, he's missing the good stuff. I know. He even raw dogs of surgery where they realign his ear canal, which just has to be incredibly painful. This bear had broken his wrist. wrist in several places. That was the only thing he ever really complained about. He's comforting all the medics. He doesn't do pain meds. He's just like so tough. And his recovery speaks to it too. He's in the hospital for about six days. Which wrist was it? I don't know. Was it on his dominant hand?
Starting point is 00:51:08 I'm not sure. I'm not getting into that. His shoot in hand. So nine days after the malling, he takes a photo with Brett. And the healing is remarkable. And I think it must just be some kind of miracle where the bear didn't hit anything major and all the kind of like piping and everything in his face remained. Because looking at that photo, you would think that no matter the amount of reconstructive surgery you do, you're going to have just kind of a blob for a face. You're going to have one big scar for a face, you know, and I'm going to show you guys what he looked like nine days after the incident, and then I'm going to show you a more recent photo, too.
Starting point is 00:51:53 So this is nine days after. Wow. Yeah. I know. So he'd lost his, uh, his, what is that? His right eye, no, his left eye. Uh, his right eye is still in there. They had to like kind of reposition it.
Starting point is 00:52:06 But I mean, he looks recognizable, you know? Yeah. For sure. He looks a lot like, not to like, like, like, But he looks a lot better than the lady whose face got ripped off by Travis the Chimp. Yeah. And she, like, had years, after years of recovery, nine days after he lost his face, it's like back. And then this is a somewhat more recent photo.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I don't know exactly when this was taken. But I mean, he looks, you know, like you would kind of, you wouldn't even really do a double take. It looks like the Snapchat where Shrek's like holding the people. Yeah. that's amazing that is like straight up mur i wonder i don't this is like so pseudoscientific of me but i wonder if that kind of positive attitude maybe i i have no idea maybe it was just miraculous that the bear didn't get them in quite the right ways but i don't know like you know placebo the placebo effect can be a thing where i don't know i just yeah i'm wondering it how possibly someone nine
Starting point is 00:53:11 days after getting their face literally ripped off can look like it's one of those stories too where the doctor said you know like if it had been a millimeter this way or if this thing had been ruptured or whatever he'd probably be dead um and then i think that holds true too for a lot of the reconstruction but like if i ever get a mal yeah take me to the hospital and palmer and ask for that surgeon because it's crazy um it would have been kind of funny had you said like this is way looked like nine days after the attack and showed us that second picture. Yeah. Just been like he's completely recovered.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Yeah, he just looks perfect. This is Superman. Yeah. So he's had a number of other surgeries. He has had some lifelong effects from the malling, but he's maintained a positive attitude and good humor throughout. His wrist healed a little crooked, but he joked with Brett that he could like grab things from around a corner.
Starting point is 00:54:08 He lost eyesight in one of his eyes. and he does have some scarring, but considering what, you know, he should look like, it's a miracle that he healed the way he did. The family overall has been pretty hush about the story. They haven't really told it in many places. As far as I can tell, Glenn hasn't ever told it publicly. Brett has told it a few times. Brett does continue to guide in Alaska, and I don't know much about Glenn.
Starting point is 00:54:31 If he's still with us, he'd be 87 years old. Yeah. Oh, he's, yeah, he's living forever. Yeah, exactly. Nothing can take him out. Brett is a big proponent of carrying a handgun in Grizzly country, a high caliber handgun. It is something that he has kind of become his rallying cry. And I don't totally disagree with that.
Starting point is 00:54:54 We talk a lot about Bear Spray being our number one deterrent. It still is. I think even, you know, he had to shoot the bear several times with the handgun to get it to stop. Who's to say a bear that mad if Bear Spray would have stopped it? I personally think it would have. But when I've been in like really dicey situations, going into situations where maybe it's going to a carcass or going to somewhere where a bear might be extra defensive, I had a high caliber handgun with me. And I think it's a great secondary deterrent.
Starting point is 00:55:25 I would still always go to my bear spray first. But I don't think it's bad to say, you know, a high caliber handgun can be a great option in a bad bear situation. That would be worse even than the water bucket wake-up pranks I've seen. Just bears spraying something right when I wakes up. It would be really bad. Yeah, be awful. Yeah. I think we all agree.
Starting point is 00:55:51 I don't think we have to discuss that anymore. All right. Well, you guys got anything you want to add to this story? Questions? Good work, Glenn and Brett. Both of them, it seems like, you know, given the circumstances, There's a clutch shot to take the bear down, miraculous recovery. Just a crazy story.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Yeah, it was amazing. I'm going to be maybe a little insensitive for what they had to go through. But, I mean, maybe don't go to Grizzly Bear Denz and try to shoot him. Sure. You know? It's a bad situation being, I don't think it's very cool. I don't know. It's not that cool of a way to kill an animal.
Starting point is 00:56:31 So, I agree. I do still think it's better than like baiting or chasing with dogs. I'd still think it's more ethical than that and like obviously more dangerous. And like I said earlier, I couldn't kill a bear. I think they're far too personable. I don't think we need to manage them to control their numbers. I don't really believe in that science. I don't, there's other science that shows they've managed themselves.
Starting point is 00:56:55 But what I will say, and I do want to give them, you know, this at least, is that they grew up doing this. This is their lifestyle. this is like the way that both of these men were raised. This has always been their lives. And I'm not going to really, I'm not going to cast judgment on that part of it. You know, like I feel like I don't agree with bear hunting, but I also think that this is just kind of how they've always lived. And I don't love it, but they obviously have had some experiences that maybe have made them
Starting point is 00:57:26 think twice about it now. Who knows? Is there the aftermath of a bear hunt? I know a lot of people just get them stuffed or taxidermied or whatever. Are there ever scenarios wherein that hunt results in like the meat being used for ethical reasons or like? Yeah. A lot of people eat Black Bear. I've eaten Black Bear.
Starting point is 00:57:46 It's good. Like it doesn't, it tastes good. It's like it can be, you have to cook it right. You have to be really careful because there's some diseases they can carry. But a lot of people eat Black Bear. I don't know about not too many people eat Brown Bear. I'm guessing these guys didn't eat. their bear but I'm not sure and I again that's not like a thing I should say you know definitively but I do think
Starting point is 00:58:09 most people that hunt brown bears are doing it for a trophy there are a lot of them in Alaska like they're doing great there I agree with Jeff I don't think it's like uniquely impressive way to kill an animal as it's coming out of its den for the winter but I also don't want to judge these guys lifestyle necessarily I don't know I'm trying to be diplomatic yeah it is a cool trophy though like if FIFA gave that bear for the wiener? Well, Tom, like, Tom had a bear in his office that he didn't kill. He got it from, like, the museum in Utah that has all those. And, like, I would love to have it.
Starting point is 00:58:43 And, like, someone shot that bear. And I would love to have it in my studio. And, like, does that make me better than them? You know, I don't know. These are all just, like, kind of weird moral ethical questions. But I think basically what it boils down to is what are your motivations when you're hunting an animal? How does it make you feel?
Starting point is 00:59:01 And for me, I just couldn't do it. Would you make love on a bear rug? Yeah, probably. Which pelt do you think would be most conducive to a night of lovemaking? A polar bear, yeah. They feel like the sexiest. Oh, I don't know. That sloth bear we saw was so, like, fluffy.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Yeah, they are fluffy. I don't know if I want all that hair. Yeah, you might want. Yeah. Okay. I'm just talking. my way through this. Great question.
Starting point is 00:59:33 I think we should do outchies for this one. This guy's tough. He made it through. You know, I don't think we have like kind of the weird responsibility of dealing with someone who died. So let's do outchies for Glenn Bonn. It's an interesting one because appearance-wise, it seems like a 10. But then like the details, it's like a one.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Right. His wrist. His wrist hurt real bad. So three. I think for any normal person, it's, A 10. For Glenn, it's like a, yeah, like a two. I honestly, I have no idea what score to even.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Because the way he spoke about it. Yeah. I don't know. Dude, not using pain killers? Like, I'm giving this like a nine. I think he likes pain and he just. Me too. This is a real.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Nine is what I was going with too. It's not as bad as some of ours, but it is crazy. Dude, if Pinhead came out of the little cube. Glenn would have been like, give me your worst shot. I'm ready for this. Just gets all excited to see his centobite friends. What's your rating, Mike? I was going to go with a nine.
Starting point is 01:00:45 I think Jeff was right to call out the no pain killers and the hours of procedures and all that. So, yeah, I don't want to discount Glenn just because he was so tough that he made it sound not very painful because I'm certain that it was. I think I've always found talking about finances particularly stressful. And now that I'm in my 40s and all my friends are in their 40s, I feel like we're always talking about finances and credit cards and all sorts of other boring things. And not only does it bore me, but it stresses me out. My finances can feel really overwhelming. And that's why I want to tell you guys about Rocket Money.
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Starting point is 01:02:20 That's rocketmoney.com slash claw. RocketMoney.com slash claw. I can really relate to my pets, but I think my cat toad is the pet that I relate to the most. We just kind of have a similar vibe. We've always really clicked, and I just want to make sure that he has the absolute best in every single way. And that's why I want to tell you guys about Smalls. Smalls fresh cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free, 100-per-human-grade ingredients that you find in your fridge,
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Starting point is 01:03:29 plus free shipping and free treats for life. Just go to smalls.com slash tooth and that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com slash tooth. All right. Well, if that is it, then we will move on to our categories. I was going to do a face off category, but I felt like we had done that before when we had to get their face ripped off. All right, I'll throw this in then. What's your favorite scene from the movie Face Off? Well, in this story, I'm not going to do my favorite scene, but the one that I thought of in this story was when Nicholas Cage has his face off and he wakes up. And he's smoking a SIG because that was like cinematic. It's like he doesn't have a, like I think Ed should
Starting point is 01:04:17 smoke a cigarette or in that picture with the bear. Ed? Glenn? Glenn. Glenn. Yeah. He had one of the letters, right? Mike, what's your favorite line or scene from the movie Face Off? Oh, man. Probably when he is singing with the choir. Shoot, that's what I was going to say to. The thing that I always have in my head from that movie, it's not my favorite necessarily, but it's like the first thing I think of is the weird, like, face touch that John Travolta does to all
Starting point is 01:04:54 his kids and just how like weirdly sexual it is. Why weird? Yeah, it's so strange. All right. It's maybe the best all time of someone saying the name of the movie and the movie too. It is. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:09 They really force it, didn't they? All right. Like the least natural. Face. Off. John Woo. What a genius. Yeah, he really is.
Starting point is 01:05:21 All right. So goriest horror movie. that's affected you the most personally the most the most the most personally i kind of said that weird the first i didn't really have a good one for that like a gory image but i'd say the one that stuck with me the most is from bone homo to bone tomahawk because it's funny i spelt it that way in my notes homo to but it's just really unexpected i was like what what yeah That was honestly in my top three, too. Bone Tomahawk is so gnarly.
Starting point is 01:06:00 I interpreted your question a little differently maybe, but I thought of the movie The Devil's Rejects, because that did on a personal level kind of affect me. It's a weirdly touching film by the end, even though they're just like truly terrible, awful people. But like, there's a... Like, did a feel good horror. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:19 gruesome. I don't know. Well, people that have seen the movie, some people, it just doesn't work on some. people at all. But for me, they do this really strange magic trick of making you kind of, you're not rooting or cheering or even liking these people by the end, but there is a sort of like camaraderie that they share by that final scene that happens. And that's just like a truly gruesome movie. So I don't think I've ever seen any Rob Zombie movie all the way through. They're just not,
Starting point is 01:06:45 they're a little too grimy for me. Pretty gross. Yeah. Yeah. I picked midsummer. Like the, The scene where the couple jumps off of the cliff and then they like smash their heads in with hammers afterward, it's so like eerily calm and brightly lit and weird feeling. And it's not like the most violent thing I've ever seen on screen, but something about it just really affected me. And that was that was one of those movies. I think it's like a total masterpiece. I think it's so good.
Starting point is 01:07:17 But it for like three or four days afterward, I just kind of felt in a few. funk after I saw that movie. Like it actually made me kind of depressed. So well done. Bonus points for having a bear in it, dude. Also has a bear. Yeah. Bonus. Good job, Wes. Yeah. Thanks. You're winning so far. Yeah. You got by far the most points. All right. This is a let's argue with a question mark on it because who knows if we'll actually argue about this. Are we talking about dipping dots? We're not. Do you prefer when the hero dies at the end of a revenge film or when they survive because the bear dies in this and this is definitely the bear's revenge film if anything like in in a really good revenge film do you kind of just want them to die or would
Starting point is 01:08:00 you rather they survive what's the bear getting revenge for i mean it's like going woke up and people trying to kill it you know it's a real short story yeah like i i think of uh spoilers here for a lot of stuff probably i think of john wick like the most recent John Wick movie where, you know, he finally dies. And it feels kind of cathartic. Like it's like, okay, finally this guy, you know, gets to get, have some rest. And that one feels good to me. But I'm curious what you guys feel about it.
Starting point is 01:08:34 After they get revenge, would you rather they survive or die? Yeah, I just, I don't know. It's hard to answer because it's like sometimes situational. Yeah. Generally, I prefer they live because I like them to enjoy the fruits of their labor a little bit. And I know a lot of times the messages like revenge isn't worth, you know, the price you pay. But like, I don't know, when someone gets back at the bad guy and like saves their daughter or whatever, like, I want them to have a, be able to enjoy that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:04 I'm strongly on. Django, it's like, what's the doctor's or the dentist guy's name again? Christoph Waltz? Yeah, the characters. Yeah, I don't know. I think they just kept the Christoph. off waltz. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:21 Like he dies getting revenge, but then Django lives. And it's like which one of those was more satisfying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what it is for me is if they've like lived a tortured life, then I want them to be able to like live in happiness after their revenge.
Starting point is 01:09:39 But if they've had like a good life and then all of their family has been killed or something and they're just going to be miserable anyways, I kind of like it when they die. But usually I really like live. Like count of my life. Monty Christo is the one I always think of. Like, I'm really glad that he gets to live at the end of that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think we agree then. Let's agree is what we should call this. Gen. Best revenge is living a happy life. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:02 All right. Dude, that's so wise. Did you just come up with that, Jeff? That's wise. Good wisdom. So you're, you're not happy that the bear died was? Uh, I wish the bear would have lived. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Getting its revenge. I don't want it to get it. I wish it could have just run off and they could have also, survived the guys. I got a couple would you rather's, just to kind of flex that old brain of like thinking about stuff that you would maybe rather do, you know? You know how these work. All right.
Starting point is 01:10:31 Would you rather have $500,000 right now or get $1,000 every time you run a mile in less than 12 minutes for the rest of your life? Oh, the second one. Oh, my gosh. That's infinite money hack. You're 12 minutes is, listen, not easy for everybody. You'd have to run 500 miles to make that. that even.
Starting point is 01:10:50 Yeah. I agree, though, because nothing would get me in shape faster than if I have to get, if I get $1,000 every time I run a mile in less than 12 minutes. I'd crank them out quick, too. I'd be doing like 10 a day. Instead of something else, you're cranking out 10 times a day. Yeah, it's slowing down a little bit. We've talked about this before West.
Starting point is 01:11:10 Jeff, what's your answer? 500K immediately, or the mile one? The mile one? The mile one. That's an easy one. All right. Would you rather win $100 million? lottery and have it announced on national TV or 10 million and no one ever knows about it.
Starting point is 01:11:26 I'll do the announcement one. I wouldn't want to, I don't know, I wouldn't want to be too secretive. I'm going to tell the people that matter to me in either scenario. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to do 100 just because I can't keep the secret. I can't spend 100 million either. I'm going to want to give away a lot of that anyways, you know? Right. Well, good news for you to give half a way to taxes right away. Only multi-millionaires that pay taxes are lottery winners. Would you rather have the ability to freeze time for 30 seconds once every day or rewind time time for 30 seconds once every day? Does that count as an ice power, Jeff?
Starting point is 01:12:03 Freezing time? Freezing. Because I might switch over to your side. Wow. Yeah. Freeze or rewind? That's my... Rewind.
Starting point is 01:12:14 I'm rewinding. Yeah. Because then you could like watch the end of a sport game. and rewind 30 seconds and place your bet. So it's just another money question. These are all just money questions, seems like. Or, you know, there's a lot of other things you could do, rewinding time. Are we all rewind on that one?
Starting point is 01:12:33 Yeah. I think so. I don't really want neither, honestly. Okay. Oh, I'd love to refill. It seems like it's going to make things worse eventually. Yeah, you're probably right. Good for you, Jeff.
Starting point is 01:12:44 I like living in the moment, not the past. Did you just come up with that, Jeff? Wise. Wisdom. All right. Something you like this week. Oh, snap. I'll go first.
Starting point is 01:12:55 Mine's a pop culture thing. I've been enjoying the Cape Fear reboot that's been on Apple TV. My guy, Javier Bardam's in it. Amy Adams and Patrick Wilson both giving like very eccentric out there performances. It's not for everyone. It's kind of like a weirdly shot, weirdly edited thing. And it feels, but it feels kind of reminiscent of the Scorsese one, which is also kind of have strangely put together, but just really good.
Starting point is 01:13:23 So I'm really enjoying it. I think it's been fun. Good die getting your revenge movie there, huh? Yeah, yeah. I wanted De Niro to live, but he died at the end. Yeah, he was a great guy in that movie. Real hero. I put my birthday present I gave Wes.
Starting point is 01:13:46 It was a fun one. And it was a great one. Fun for me. I gave them a $100 ticket on Spain to win the World Cup. And you bought it in the $4.50 or something. Yeah, so they had to beat France and then the winner of Argentina, England. Yeah. And it's nice because I think had he lost, it still would have felt like a $100 gift.
Starting point is 01:14:13 But now that they won, it kind of feels like I gave them $450. It totally does. Yeah. And it made the last two rounds so fun for me too. So, yeah, it was a great gift. I'm going to go actually cash it in today. Whoa, what's you going to spend it on? I'm going to buy a fuck ton of dipping dots, dude. I feel my freezer with dipping dots. That's such a good idea.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Oh, brother. What did you get, Wes? What did I get? Oh, did I get Wes? Oh, I told him a secret. He told me a secret. First birthday. Yeah. It was secret to everybody.
Starting point is 01:14:51 What do you guys like this week? Did you guys answer? Oh, yeah. So I am playing a game called Densha-Tack. It's a new smaller indie team developed. And it's basically like if you combined, oh, this is going to be really hard to like put into terms. People are going to understand.
Starting point is 01:15:10 So it's like kind of a Tony Hawk game. But you're playing is like a young girl driving train. So you're like doing tricks with a train on these. tracks and like a post-apocalyptic kind of. Wow. It's amazing. It's incredible. It's like if you have any affection for like the old jet set games or trains.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Amazing music. Yeah. Trains. You've got a special interest in trains. Amazing game. Like a crazy inventive, really fun, really just like inventive. Yeah. It's awesome.
Starting point is 01:15:39 Amazing music. Dude, the lineup of the composers they got for the game is like kind of crazy. I don't know how they did it. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do a quick, what would Mike and Jeff do for this episode? What are you guys doing if you're in this situation?
Starting point is 01:15:51 I'm glad you asked. I think I'm going like full speed with the snowmobile and then like right at the den, jump off both of us, jump off the snowmobile, shoot the gas tank as it's like in the den, blow everything up. Yeah. That's so smart. You wouldn't have much of a trophy left, but yeah, it would be affected. But I killed that damn there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:18 Yeah, I guess I'd put in an oxygen tank into the bear's mouth and then shoot the tank. Oh, that would also be very effective. We've seen that work before. All right. Okay. Wouldn't have much of a trophy left. You wouldn't have much of a trophy left. I got a couple.
Starting point is 01:16:40 I got a couple listener questions because we haven't done them for a minute. This one's from Devin. These are all from our Patreon members. Devin says, hey guys, one of the reasons I enjoy your podcast is because of all the Simpsons references. My brother and I are avid fans up to the 20th season. Good for you. And fell off afterwards since it's different. Sometimes my brother and I talk about how maybe the show should end.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Definitely it should end, given how long it's been running and how much it's changed. Counterpoint. Do you think the show should end? And if so, how would you have The Simpsons end? What do we even put on cable TV if we get rid of the Simpsons? So this is your answer. is ended, you know? Do you want it to keep going then? Do we just get rid of cable? I don't know. What's, do you think it should keep going? I want it to just keep going forever. Who knows? Maybe it'll
Starting point is 01:17:28 find its stride after 40 years again. As long as there's demand, just give the people what they want. It seems like there's demand for it. So why not? Yeah. I, Simpsons, it's funny because two of my favorite things, Simpsons and the band Weezer, were kind of on the same trajectory and the same timeline. and the thing about Weezer is they occasionally come back with just like a total banger and that I'm just like they keep me in and Simpsons to me doesn't like I haven't liked any of the episodes in a long time every time I check back in and I hear there was a good Simpsons episode I try and watch it and just the animation the way they do it now is so distasteful to me that I just can't enjoy it so for me I think it should have ended 26 years ago and that's how I think they should end
Starting point is 01:18:14 is saying, hey, this has actually been two different shows. Hey, that's all folks. Yeah, that's all folks. Exactly. Give him the porky pig. Do you know the creator went to Epstein's Island? Matt Groening. That's how he's able to predict everything.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Huh. All right. All right. Here's another question. This one is from Brooke. Brooke says, What do you all think of sea lion shows photo opposite aquariums? Is there an ethical way to do this?
Starting point is 01:18:44 them kind of like bird shows or no. Those are often like enrichment for sea lions and they're usually really ethical. And the sea lions probably look forward to them all day. That's probably like the one time that they really are excited for because they get to like play and learn and do tricks. It's kind of like dogs where dogs love getting treats and doing tricks and learning and using their brains. So I'm a big fan of zoos that do those kind of shows.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Yeah. For me it's like if you have a pretty intelligent aunt, social. animal in an enclosure, the more you do, the better. Yep. All right, this one was to me, but I want all three of us to answer it. This is from Abby. Abby says, Wes, I started watching naked and afraid again, and it got me to thinking, why didn't you want to do it?
Starting point is 01:19:32 Did they say what part of the world they would have sent you to? Would you do it sometime in the future? So I want you guys to answer. They reached out to me and ask me if I want to be on it. I said no, and I'll answer that part quickly. I didn't want to do it because at the time I was still full-on research scientist. It felt like a little cheap to me. They don't pay you much.
Starting point is 01:19:53 It just didn't feel like the right move. I still don't think I would do it at this point. But I'm curious if either of you would do naked and afraid if they reached out to you. Wes, you're- I know Mike's answer. So big. Thanks, Jeff. Mike, I know you wouldn't do it.
Starting point is 01:20:11 Jeff, would you consider doing naked and afraid? Nah, I don't think so. Yeah. Okay. If you were to do it, where would they want, where would you want them to send you? Home. Antarctic.
Starting point is 01:20:24 Just your living room. Naked and afraid in Mike's living room. Come on over. The afraid is the audience. Yeah. All right. I got one or two more here. All right.
Starting point is 01:20:37 This one is from Regan. Regan says, hypothetically, if the Earths survived long enough, Do you think polar bears could move off the ice and evolve to a more grizzly-like species that they used to be? Or do you think that they would not survive? Oh, yeah, they did kind of. Yeah, and they opened their question with that. They said, I was listening to one of your episodes Wes mentioned that polar bears evolved very quickly.
Starting point is 01:21:01 But when I say that evolved very quickly is like within a matter of a couple million years. The changes that we're putting on polar bears right now are happening in decades, even if it were over like, centuries, evolution doesn't happen that quick. They don't have the ability to evolve into a different species in hundreds of years or even thousands of years. We're talking hundreds of thousands or millions of years for evolution like that scale of evolution to happen. And we've talked about this before. Evolution is always happening. It happens incrementally, constantly. But what I mean is it happens right now we're evolving everything's evolving but for those large scale changes to happen it takes a very long time for an animal to completely change the way it looks the way it operates things it eats
Starting point is 01:21:51 it takes a long long time i would want them to mix with black bears so we get pandit american pandas yeah that would be cool i agree or it would just be like a gray bear you know like i don't like the grizzly or the grower bear as much as pandas. Yeah, like a beige bear. This one's from Jules. What's your favorite? Oh, no, sorry, what's your least favorite class at school?
Starting point is 01:22:18 Ooh, a math. I was really bad at math, and I didn't like it. Math is my answer, too. I was actually decent at it, but I hated it. Like, it just felt not fun to me at all. Yeah. I think it would also be math for me, but mainly just because that's, like,
Starting point is 01:22:34 the one class guaranteed to give you homework every single day. That's true Why? Like, if I didn't have to do homework all the time It might have been something like English It's also my English class My least favorite in like retrospect Because we never needed any of that
Starting point is 01:22:53 You know, math didn't matter We can do it on our phones right now Yeah I kind of feel like it was like a brain workout almost Which is good You know, I think learning those kinds of things even if you're not using them daily is just a healthy way to live. But I just could not.
Starting point is 01:23:12 I couldn't get the hang of it at all. And it is like the way to really understand the universe. Our planet and the universe is to get really good at math. Yeah. I just, I feel like there are people that use it a lot, but most people never use that ever again in their life. But I agree. It's like a way to work your brain.
Starting point is 01:23:33 Okay. Good answer, Mike. All right. Well, that is it. Um, we're going to leave it there. Why did you ask for our favorite swimming spot? Did I? Oh, I did, didn't I?
Starting point is 01:23:44 Yeah. Was that? Yeah. Okay, we'll do that some other time. Why did you, what made you think of that? Because I'm really hot and I want to go swim in the creek. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:23:56 That's it. Put a pin in it. We'll put a pin in it. That's it for this episode. If, like always. What I guess what yours is? Yeah. The creek.
Starting point is 01:24:06 The creek. I think it's the Bitterroot River, but the creek is right next to it. Yeah. As always, if you're looking for extra content, we have it on our Patreon. Mike just did a really interesting story about stonefish and scorpion fish. I learned a lot in that one. I thought we had a really fun time. And Jeff did a really good one on Hippos not long ago.
Starting point is 01:24:29 I feel like... That was good. Yeah, I feel like both of you guys have been firing on all cylinders for your Patreon episodes so I highly recommend checking it out it's 10 bucks a month for access to our bonus episodes that price has been the same our entire history and you get access to our whole catalog and you get to go on tooth and claw trips right and we are really really fun about to sell our Brazil trip have a much better chance of going on one of our trips yeah sign up you get to pay money to go on a tooth and clock trip that is that is something when this episode comes out we will be a
Starting point is 01:25:05 about to drop our pontonol trip and our patreon or our patron members will have access to that so if you want to go on a trip you might sign up and if you don't like the the membership you can cancel it later but we'll find you but we'll find you and we'll kill you because you have to put your address in there yeah so we have that so if you do cancel you don't we will find you you don't have to put your address your email address sure that's true all right jeff find you. All right. Love you guys. We'll see you. Love you. See ya.

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