Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Grizzly Bear Attack - Two Wrestlers vs. One Grizzly, a Python Eats a Woman, and a Bear in Japan Attacks a Rock Climber

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

In this edition of Animal Attack News Roundup, the guys each bring a handful of the most noteworthy animal attack stories to hit the news over the past couple of months to share with each other, and then rank their 10 favorite wild cats. But before all that, Wes shares the story of his most embarrassing moment. ~~ To advertise on the show, contact us! ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social:  Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds                          Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dooth and Claw podcast, here we are. How are we are? We're doing okay. I'm doing a little tired. Yeah, doing a little tired. How do you do that? Cool, sounds like it. I do it by flying a lot recently. Why are you flying? I went to Finland to speak at an animal conflict, a wildlife conflict conference.

Talked about the podcast in my presentation, which was an audible for me at the very end. But a lot of the conference was about communication. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to talk about it. Thanks, Wes. And then I went to Turkey for a few days, then back to Finland, and then back here. So it took eight flights. You're not qualified to speak at that?

I am. I am. I still need to dig up my degree, but I am qualified to do it. So this is Wes. I'm Jeff. We got Mike with us. Dooth and Club podcast. Yep.

So you had a good trip? I had a great trip. Istanbul was really fun. That was like a new place for me and just really very very very very. vibrant and interesting and a cool culture and I just had a great time. You should have brought us. I wish I, honestly, multiple times thought, man, I wish Mike and Jeff were here. I brought you both something back, though, so that's nice.

Oh, nice. Yeah. On the way back. Is it yellow? I need something else yellow for my Starburst openings. Yes, maybe. I don't know. It might be yellow.

Is it edible? No. Wait, let's see if we can guess what it is. Is it alive? No. I'm not going to let you guess. Okay. It's not alive.

So on the way back on my big flight home from, it was like Paris to Salt Lake, I woke up in the middle of the night and found myself getting a little sick to my stomach. And I never usually have to go the bathroom on planes, but I did. And I was in there for a while. And it reminded me of a story, which is the story of the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. And I kind of want to tell it, if you guys will indulge me here for a minute. Yeah, it's funny.

We were talking before the episode. And Wes just went on this, like, sweet trip to Finland and in Istanbul and all these places. And he's like, I want to tell the story about diarrhea in Mexico. So I've had it, Wes. All right. So in college, I, like, got into this thing where I started doing these really long trips, like, long distances over just a few days, generally driving. So I drove to, like, Key West from Utah over, like, a weekend. And then I wanted to, like, one up that.

So me and my friends were talking, we're like, let's drive to Puerto Vallada, Mexico. And our idea then was to, like, drive to the border and then take buses all the way down to Portoviarda, spend a day and a half there and then take buses back. And so what that looks like is it's a 12-hour drive to the border of, like, Nogales in Arizona. And then it's about a 30-hour bus ride from there to Puerto Vallarta because you do all these little stops and stuff. So I went with my girlfriend at the time, and then two friends. and on the way back we were like probably two or three hours from the border on the bus and my stomach really started gurgling and I was like really cocky about drinking water from different countries back then I would just drink everything and just thought I was untouchable

I know but it was because I lived in Brazil and never got sick and I just was like I have like a stomach of steel I can drink anything and so in Mexico it's like drinking all the water and just like doing whatever. And a couple hours from the border, like my stomach really started gurgling. And we're in one of those big buses that have like the like plush seats, you know, and stuff. Oh, no. And there's a toilet in the back. And so I go in the back and I, I'm on that toilet the rest of the bus ride, like couple hours. And I, because I was using it, it had kind of stirred everything else up that was already in there. And it smelled so bad that like all the people sitting in the back of the bus had to move to the front of the bus.

And I literally just had my head out the window of the bathroom and just like sitting on the toilet for the rest of the drive. And so it got to the point where I'm having to go to the bathroom like every 10 minutes. And it's like really bad. Like I have to go to the like I have to take a shit every 10 minutes. And I had like everything had run through me. So all that was like really coming out was blood. Oh God.

And so we get to the border and like the border guards being how they always are, like asking me all these questions. I'm like, listen, man, you can put me in prison. You can do whatever you want. I just need to go to the bathroom right now. But then I'll come back and talk to you for hours if you want. I just am going to have to go the bathroom every 10 minutes. And so finally this guy has like some compassion on me, lets me go the bathroom. We get through the border.

And we're stopping like every 10 minutes in the car on the way back to Salt Lake. and I'm just miserable and my friends just don't care. I'm telling them to like drop me off at a hospital. They won't do it. And so finally I'm just like, I don't know what this is. I don't know what's happening. I feel like I have to take a shit, but I can't. Maybe I'm just super constipated.

So it's like probably like 1 a.m. in the morning. Yeah, I know. I know. It's stupid. Because nothing's coming out. Like I feel the urge. But when I go to take a shit, all that's coming out is some blood. Is it?

I know. It was stupid. So I'm like, let's go to Walgreens. This is the dumbest idea. There's an open Walgreens in like Tucson. I was like, let's go to Walgreens. And I'm going to buy like, I'm going to buy like, what's it called? Like turbo lax? Yeah, laxative.

And I'm going to buy enema. And hopefully just whatever's in there, I'm going to like loosen it up. So I buy the turbolax. I buy the enema. and I'm like, I got to do this enema somewhere. You're just telling your body, like, you want to give me diarrhea. I want to give you diarrhea. You call this diarrhea?

So I'm like, to my friend, I'm like, hey, I'm going to go in this Walgreens bathroom. Don't let anyone in because I have to do this enema. Because I looked at the little photo on the back of this enema, and you have to like get on all four and show it up your boat. And so I tell them, like, don't let anyone in this bathroom. And so I go in, I go in the stall, and there's not room enough in the stall for me to, like, negotiate. So I'm, like, naked from the waist down, just have my t-shirt on. And I go out in the main part of the bathroom on all fours, and I stay this thing up my butt. And, like, the second it's in there and I'm, like, turning around on all four, shoving something up my butt, this dude walks in the bathroom.

Like, some guy I've never met. And he walks in and he sees me, and then he just, like, slowly backs out. out and close the door. And I was so embarrassed and so mad at my friends because I was just miserable. And all I had asked is that they don't let anyone in the bathroom.

And I just like, the anima didn't work. I couldn't even get it in. And like, it was just miserable. And then like, it got a little bit better after that. And they took me home. And then like, in Salt Lake, I went and saw the doctor. And he's just like, yeah, you got a really bad case of Matazumas. But like, it was just that moment.

of like being half naked shoving something up my butt in a, in a Walgreens bathroom in Tucson at 2 a.m. in the morning was the lowest I've ever been. So there you go. That was your rock bottom. That's my rock bottom, everyone. So we're tooth and claw podcast and we talk about animal attack stories. That's what we're here for. I wish you guys could have seen Mike's face light up when I said I had a diarrhea story I wanted to share. I was so excited.

Oh, man. Bus diaries, one of the scariest kinds. It was awful. So we're going to get to our news episode here real quick before we start. I'm home. I'm in Montana. I'm at my parents' house. And our cousin Brent is with me.

And today I was like sitting in a chair prepping for this episode. And he like came up behind me with a blanket and started choking me. And like did it for a while. And I was like a little irritated afterwards. And then like a few hours later he was sitting in the chair. so I went and choked him with the blanket and he like grabbed both sides of it and I thought he was like pulling it away and then like all the sudden I hear him like kicked a window so I let go and he like had I like made him black out what he's like he passes out it's so easy and then he was like yeah we were having that conversation and I just blacked out I was like dude I never said a word to you like I don't even know what you're talking about but But apparently he grabbed a blanket and was like helping me choke. That's his favorite thing to do.

Yeah, Brent's not. He, not the weirdest thing I've ever. He legitimately blacks out like all the time. And then he asked me, do you think it feels good afterwards because you almost died and you get to live? Or just because you were close to being dead? It's a good question. Yeah. It does feel great.

You get those little tingles after you. I don't have to ask him. Yeah. That's my update. Yeah, thanks. Mike, you got an update or should we get up to some news? I got plenty updates, but I think we've wasted enough of people's precious lifetime. You're looking at home.

I think we should just get it. West said wasted time? Yeah. That's my most embarrassing story. That's me getting real vulnerable to thousands of people. I love that story. I'm here. If you want to do a whole podcast around diarrhea stories, I'm here for it.

I'm just worried what our listeners are going to think. That's a good point. All right. Well, let's do our news. Especially the new ones. If this is your first episode and you're still listening. This isn't our typical thing. I feel like we owe you.

Really quick then. We are a wildlife podcast. I'm a wildlife biologist. I've worked mostly with bears for the past 11 or 12 years. Jeff helped me on a project. Mike is our producer slash friend. And we mostly talk about animal attacks. We talk about why they happen, how people can avoid them, what we can do better,

why it's generally the people's fault. when these things happen and why the media does a really bad job talking about them usually. Oh, yeah. So that's kind of what these episodes focus on in the news episodes are like, we are rounding up news, media articles, but we're kind of explaining them from our perspective. So, yeah. Who wants to go first? You want me to start us off?

Yeah. Okay. So I have one from this October. The article I got it from was the 21st. but it's one that both you, I'm sure you have both heard. Actually, I'm not positive. Mike's heard it, but probably. And a lot of other listeners heard,

but it's about the college wrestlers who got attacked by a grizzly bear. Yes. LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot make your email response time faster. We can help you sell market and hire in one place. We cannot help you find space. for your three desk drinks. Why do you have three? And while we can't help you find the perfect volume for your presentation video, LinkedIn can help you find the perfect audience for your

business. Grow your small business on LinkedIn. Learn more at LinkedIn.com slash small business. They go to Northwest College in Wyoming, and they're on the wrestling team, and there's Braden Lowry and Kendall Cummings are like the main two people in my story. And they were out in the woods with two of their other, like, wrestler friends, and they were looking for antlers. Yeah. So, Braden and Kendall kind of went in a group of two, and then the other two kids went in a different group. And Braden was in some thick trees and brush, and he heard something big in the bushes and couldn't see it. And then it popped out just, like, feet away from him.

So he just had time to yell bear, and then it started mauling him. and it bit his arm and just started, yeah, grizzly bear. It bit his arm and just started violently tossing them around, like a rag doll pretty much. One other thing, too, that I thought was interesting about this one, they had seen a bunch of bear scat right before it got him, and they had just seen like one big, like, steaming pile, and they were like, oh, this one's super fresh, and then it, like, ran at them right after they saw that.

So you do want to pay attention to that sort of things. Dory when I was in Mexico. All right, so anyways, Braden was looking for antlers, gets his arm bit, and it's just getting tossed around, right? Right. So Mike, let's put you in the friend situation here.

So, like, you see me, we're out there looking for antlers together, like we always do, and you see a bear come out and bite my arm, and it's just, like, mauling me. Yeah. What would you do? So.

And we don't have bear spray. I'm going to poke around in that pile of steaming poo and see if there's any, like, human remains in there. And if there's not like a human arm in the pile, I'll probably just be like, well, a bear is probably not going to eat them since it doesn't look like he eats humans. Okay. All right. So you're going to just look through its poop as being involved is your answer. Yeah. It's not a great answer.

So Kendall is actually, like, pretty awesome in this. story. Yeah, he is. So he's his friend and he just like sprint straight at the bear and starts punching it and pulling its hair and then he like jumps on top of it and starts pulling its hair to get it off of Braden. So like the bear stops mauling Braden. It works. Wow. But then it turns his attention to Kendall and it uses his head to pin him up against some trees and then like starts biting and clawing him. And Kendall says that he kept sticking his arms inside of its mouth to, like, keep it from being able to bite his head and neck.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, that's, that works. It's better to sacrifice your arms than your face and your neck and stuff. Yeah. So, like, that worked. He, like, kept stuck in it in the bear's mouth, and eventually the bear lost interest and left.

So they're pretty lucky they didn't either of them, like, get their heads bit at all, right? I think they did, didn't they? Mike? When you say that's lucky, they didn't bite their head? If that is the case that their heads didn't get bit, then yeah, I guess. Well, you guys are right to be skeptical of the way I ask that. Yeah. Because Kendall, right after that, called out to Braden, just to see how he's doing.

And this prompted the bear to come back and re-engage with Kendall. So I was wondering, like, You know, maybe the bear doesn't understand English. Probably doesn't. It for sure doesn't. Maybe he's like, thinks Kendall is yelling at the bear. Like, you're a chicken, I won this fight. This seems to me, like, this is the kind of behavior of either a female protecting

cubs or a bear protecting a kill because it's not, it obviously wasn't trying to feed on either of them because it left him alone. So it's not a predatory bear. This is like a defensive territorial kind of attack, neutralizing the, threat and that and that whole thing of like this is like there's some good lessons to learn in this i know you have a little bit more to talk about but really quickly one thing that's like a really good lesson that you just brought up is like how it was getting braden and then kendall like yelled at it and distracted it or punched it and stuff and it went for him instead jumped on it yeah sometimes

when we're like trapping or something if we were to have a bear come in something you really want to do is you don't want to all be in like single file you want to be like spread out And then you don't let that bear focus on one person. So if you, like, see a bear coming and you see it kind of focus and key in on one of your party, everyone else should start yelling and making noise and stuff and distracting it and breaking that focus. Because they'll kind of get, like, tunnel vision and locked in on that one person and just maul the shit out of them until, like, that tunnel vision, something breaks it. And so, like, in this case, it was a little late that they broke that, you know, like he broke it after it already mauled his friend a bit. But if you can kind of keep doing this back and forth,

it might be too much to where the bear's just like, I'm done. And then the other thing, like, where they had both been mauled. They didn't have time to do. No, no, no, no, no. You say it's too late, but it's like because of the situation. Like the bear mauled braid in immediate. Right. But like Kendall did the right thing engaging the bear

and getting it to break its attention off of a braid. And it sucks that it then mauled him. But if you can do that back and forth, it might be enough to stop the mauling. And then after they had both gotten mulling. mauled and the bear left, in my opinion, I would just lay there and be completely quiet for at least 10 minutes. Yeah.

Because them yelling triggered that bear. It made it think that they were still engaging it. That's what they said, the bear, like, right when he called out, the bear turns around. Right. And like my, so that's my theory. And that's where I'll pick back up. My theory, though, is that the bear thinks, you know, Cadence saying. Talking smack.

Or Kendall saying. Talking mess. I won this fight. So then the bear comes back and bites them straight on the head. Wow. So Mike, you were wrong when you said they're lucky their heads didn't get it. Yeah, that's my bad. I feel like that was your fault, Mike.

Kendall said that he could hear the teeth on his bones. It's weird that so many people say that. He didn't feel any pain yet because of all of his adrenaline. Right. So it mauled him for a little bit and then it disengaged and left him for good this time. Or did it. This is another trick question. I saw pictures.

I sent him to you too, Wes. Yeah, they're gnarly. Kendall after he got attacked. And like his hair is just like, it's like the dude who like takes the selfie of himself after getting attacked. His hair's just like matted. Completely like matted with blood. Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.

He's got a big chunk missing out of his cheek. He got messed up pretty good. Any social media. see it on. It's like definitely like the blurred out. Are you sure you want to see this type of thing? Yeah. Yeah, he got messed up pretty good.

So Kendall got airlifted to the hospital in Cody, Wyoming to get treated for his head wounds. And then Braden joined him quickly afterwards, but he went there by ambulance. And he had a broken arm and a lot of lacerations on his back. Kendall had to get 50 staples in his head, along with a bunch of stitches in his head and his hands and some plastic surgery in his face to kind of repair it. And then the entire wrestling team came and joined them in the hospital and kept frequently visiting them and like hanging out with them. And like all the pictures are really funny. Like, I don't know, they just seemed like fun.

Like they seem like they have a decent mindset about it all. But like in all their pictures, they're like trying to look. really tough and like I don't know well I read one article too where they asked him if he was like gonna go back out in the woods and he's like yeah I'd go back out tomorrow if I could he's like that's where I'm happiest wow and it's funny Kendall said that he previously was confident he could beat a grizzly bear in a fight until this encounter learned a lesson you got a chance to do it and then it got me thinking if you have a hundred adult humans they're like 170 pounds or something, how many animals would be able to take a hundred humans at the same time?

Like how many single animals would be able to do it? Like a grizzly bear we could take if we had a hundred humans? I think so. A hundred we could take it. I feel like it's like, even like a hippo we outweigh it at that point. Yeah, but like if we just swarm it. But if it's just like killing one person at a time like quickly, I don't know. Elephant we have is like the only one I know will kill us all. I don't know. Because my question. I've always wondered is like how many kindergartners could I take you know how and it's kind of the same and like I kind of feel like I could just take an endless amount of kindergartners but like I don't I know I couldn't at some point they

would overwhelm me but like a bear that has huge claws and teeth and everything if it was enraged I just don't know like at what point does it tip the scales you know at what point has it mauled enough people to where they can't move anymore to where it's like, oh, I only got 20 people left. I'm going to win this fight, you know? I don't know. Yeah. It's a good question.

Yeah. So a listener sent me someone like talking about it. Yeah. So that's what made me ask you. If this were, if there were like a wrestling referee, how do you think they would score this fight? Who do you think they would? I mean, the bear one, right? The Washington Post, I was reading the article there.

And also Billy Football, who's on. part in my take of like the biggest sports podcast also said this but they all they both said like two Wyoming wrestlers wrestled a bear and won it's like okay what part of that did they win yeah if one if one party has to go to the hospital for days after and the other one just kind of walks off and does its life then the one that just walks off is the winner but you know honestly like looking at their photos of like their recovery and everything, neither of them got messed up to the degree that it could have been. You know, like, especially Kendall, he could have had his face like completely ripped off.

He could have lost his eyeball. He could have, like, lost his jaw. There's people that really get messed up. Head in their mouth. Like, you can get some really bad. You know, what do I always say? It's the check engine light. And I thought it was funny.

Something people always say, too. Brayden noted that the bear had really smelly breath. I'll say that. I should think it's funny when people like remember that part of it. Yeah. Well, good one. That was one that tons of people sent us. Yeah.

Thanks everyone. It's a good story. It is. So I'm going to do the other one that we got sent the most this month, which is the climber that was attacked by the Asiatic Black Bear. This happened at Mount Futago in mid-October in Japan. And we got sent it a lot. There was a lot of articles about it. The one that I ended up liking the most, though, was actually translated from a Japanese publication.

And the reason I liked it is because they actually interviewed the guy and talked to him about what happened. So it was interesting because I kind of had to make sense of the translation a few times. It started with, the article started with, this was like the opening line, how do you like it? Who wasn't surprised? Which is an interesting, interesting opener. Yeah. But anyway, this. With that one, I feel like I might have liked it.

Yeah, it just was, and it was dot, dot, dot, how do you like it? who wasn't surprised. The climber, they gave him a pseudonym. He was going by a pseudonym of Mr. Shimada, so that's what I'm going to use for this report. He lives in Tokyo. He's in his 40s, and he's been an active climber in that region for about eight years.

This was his first bear encounter, though. Mount Futago isn't necessarily like a really high mountain, but it's a series of ridges that have really sheer precipices, and some of those ridges require technical climbing gear and a lot of experience. And Mr. Shimato was on one of those precipices, Mount Nishidaki, and that's where the encounter happened. And he was climbing and he heard a soft exhale of breath from up above him.

He thought it was probably another hiker or hiker with a dog. And then all of a sudden, like, he was looking up, and there's a video of this. So everyone sent us the video, but you guys should watch it. If you're listening to this and you haven't seen this video, pause really quick, watch the video and come back. Essentially, like, he looks up and this bear comes out of the backlight. Like he's looking at the sun and the bear kind of shoots down at him off of this cliff. And as it comes down, he like immediately realizes what's happening that it's a bear that he's hearing.

And he starts screaming. Like without even thinking about it, he starts screaming. The bear makes an initial lunge at him as it's coming down off the top of this clip. And in the video, if you kind of do like a freeze frame, you can see its teeth pass right by the camera. Like it just barely misses him with his teeth. And he, again, like without even thinking, puts his arms out and kind of pushes it away mid-air. And I think that might have been the move that kind of spared him this interaction being

a lot worse because it gives him the high ground because he pushes this bear away and the bears then below him. You can't win. You can't. You only can win if you're in the high ground. We know that. But honestly, in this case, it really did help because it's not a tree. I mean, these are really good climbing bears.

This is an Asiatic black bear. They're an arboreal species of bear. It's like really good climbing. He's like on a cliff. It's on a cliff. So this isn't a comfortable place for this bear to be engaging with a potential threat. They are incredible climbers, but it is like at this point he's feeling a little bit more confident. He's like kicking it.

Yeah. And it comes up at him. Like he's got like a pretty good spot to like kick its nose. Yeah, it lands on a ledge below him. It immediately starts crawling back up toward him. And he starts throwing some like wild punches out and he actually like hits the rock. and then he's like trained in karate and that punch the rock the bear no the guy did right he's trained in karate oh the bear's training karate is that what you're saying that's what i yeah but whatever he's trying to punch the rock and like break a slab off to fall on

yeah no mr shemada is trained in karate uh he kind of unconsciously again switches to like a karate style called titsut-susu i don't know how to say it's t t s u tsu tsu it's a whole it's a whole it's a hard one. So essentially, like, this type of karate is a type that allows for, like, more powerful punches at close range. And so he... Kind of like the snake's on the plane guy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So he, like, starts hitting the bear. He, like, does a hammer hit, a few other hits. He managed to hit it a few times as it's climbing up the rock. And he says, hitting it felt like hitting a rock. He hits it on the head, the arm, and the bear climbs back down, but immediately turns around and makes another charge at him, and that's where you see him kick it in the face.

It makes a few more bluff charges up the cliff, but then if you pay really close attention to this video, you see a cub show up. And when the cub shows up, the mom just kind of goes back down and runs off with the cup. So that gives us a lot of insight into what was happening here. We've talked a bit about how with American black bears, they often don't cub defend, but Asiatic black bears are a very different bear. They're actually like, in these parts of the world, a lot of these areas also have grizzly bears. They have brown bears. And Asiatic black bears are responsible for more attacks generally than those brown bears even. A lot of bear biologists consider them more aggressive than Asiatic brown bears.

But Asianatic brown bears aren't as aggressive as American brown bears? It depends on where. Like our grizzlies in like Montana are more aggressive, but like the coastal brown bears and Alaska and stuff are necessarily. It's really interesting when you look of this stuff because like I was just in Finland, their brown bears are really docile, but then in like Norway and Sweden they can be a little bit more aggressive. And then Romania has really similar bears

to like us in Montana that are like much more aggressive. Okay. So he was going to go downhill, but he didn't want to go the same way as the bears. So he summits the mountain again. He goes down the other side. He's making lots of noise. He runs into some other hikers and tells them about

the bears but doesn't really convince them to stop. And in my mind, it's like, You got to convince those guys. You got to be a little more convincing. I don't know if I'm going to put the blame on it. Would you turn around? If someone was like, I just got mauled by a bear, like a bear just made contact with me. It depends on if I had bear spray or not.

If I didn't have bear spray, I would turn around. Yeah. But I'm also a bear biologist. Like, I understand a lot better how to, I don't know. Anyway. Wishing you could be there live for the big game. soaking up the atmosphere of the crowd but too often

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download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com actual prices may vary limited time offer so there are two species of bear in Japan there's Asiatic Black Bear there's brown bear. They are slightly smaller on average than our black bears, but they are more aggressive.

Like all bears, they are generally shy. They'll generally run away from you. But a common theory, and this is our theory with sloth bears too, because they're sympathetic with tigers in a lot of their range or they were evolutionarily, they've evolved this really aggressive response to any kind of threat because they actually do get killed by other predators. So that's kind of the idea there. An example of that in 2009, there was an Asiatic Black Bear.

We might do this in a full-length episode at some point that mauled nine people. One bear mauled nine people at the same time at a bus stop in Japan. So, like, they can really, these bears can really kind of go on a bit of a tear. A little quick conservation corner, though, when it comes to Asiatic Black Bears, they are a bear that's being poached really heavily for their body parts for traditional medicine. and maybe the saddest wildlife thing in the world to me is as far as like not like the scale but just for individual animals is bear bile farming. If you're feeling brave and you want to look that up, go for it.

Essentially it's like they will get bears when they're really small. They put them in a cage that's just big enough for them. So the cage sometimes even grows into the bears. They grow older. And they live in that cage their entire life and they have tubes going in. into their gallbladder where they're milked for their bile, because bile is used in some of those traditional medicines. So these bears truly live in, like, hell their entire life.

It's really awful. So anyway, they are a bear that's, that is in some trouble. And there are some groups that are working to shut down those bile farms, but that is an ongoing problem. It's really, um, really inhumane. Something I wanted to just bring up really quick on this one, though, is this whole idea, like with him where he kind of clicked into like he had this training with karate where he just like clicked into it without even having to think it that's something i think people should like

realize you can do that with bear spray too like i just think about using my bear spray all the time i'm constantly like playing with the safety and stuff i'm constantly like touching it on my hip when i'm in yellowstone in places like that and you're just kind of like building that habit to where if a bear ever does come at you, you're just going to mindlessly get your bear spray out and go for it. And I know it works because I've had times where like I've sporized a bear on a carcass last month or a month and a half ago, where I instantly pulled out my spray without even thinking about it. You'd probably be better with it if you knew karate. I would.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know karate. But that's the climber versus bear story. It is. You should watch it. I kind of thought when I watched it that,

Also, it just seemed like they're on a cliff, but it's kind of like a crevice in the cliff where you can, it's not like the full like rock climbing, you know. It's like a little bit of a path. Yeah. And it just felt like maybe they encountered each other in this like super narrow pathway in the cliff. Yeah. So then like the bear was like, I have to go through him. What I think is that he, and there's actually in the article I read, I got to show you guys this photo. They put a photo of what they think happened, and I think it's the same thing that happened.

I think he just got in the wrong place where he was in between the bear and her cubs on this cliff. And that's, I'm going to post this photo or Instagram. I love that. Essentially, he just, like, as he was hiking up, she was on top of this little cliff. Her cubs had already gone down, and he just managed to get in between them, and it pissed her off. So. Gotcha. Yeah.

All right. Well, that's my first story. Besides the diarrhea story. Yeah, second story. They should make a martial art based around bear spray. Oh, like Kung Fu Panda? Oh, I thought you were going to say show over movie. Well, I mean, they already.

Trust me, I'm well aware. Yeah. Instead of like a one inch punch, it's like a one inch bear spray. Yeah. It's got to be mace, though, because that's where it's like the one little stream. So then you've got to be like super accurate with it. And then you can like bend it like they do in that. What's that movie?

where they bend. Wanted. Yeah, wanted. That is so cool. That's one of the rear movies where the protagonist's name is Wes. I'm picturing like those like ribbon dancers, but someone with like bear spray, just spraying it like in like these beautiful patterns.

All right. Well, let's get it. Let's get it done. Let's make that happen. Sure. Mike, what's your first story? I am going to. I'm going to do my B attack story.

How about that, guys? So this, there are a bunch of different sources for this. one. It happened just a couple of days ago, actually, first reported November 18th of this year. This happened down in Uruguay. That's how you pronounce it, right? I always get a little yeah, yeah, sheep or horse try to say. World Cup Holt foes right now. Okay, locals abandoned their cars in the middle of the street and tried to flee on foot after a swarm of bees entered their moving vehicles through open windows in the center of Mello, Uruguay, the city located near the border that it shares with Brazil.

Police reported that we're on the scene that when all was said and done, 37 people, including eight children, had to be rushed to nearby hospitals for treatment. Wow. And two of those children, they were kept in the hospital overnight, which I don't know. I just have never really considered like a bee swarm attacking the city streets. You know, I just... Our B episode, like, it can happen. No? Well, anyway, so some of the officers that got there first, they were busy shuttling sting victims to hospitals, and some other city officials were busy, like, shutting down city streets, so no one could enter, and this is a quote, that no one could enter, quote, the danger zone. I just thought. Only Tom Cruise can enter the danger zone.

Exactly. Well, that and some beekeepers that got all up in their protective suits and tried to corral the bees away and take care of the hives and stuff. Were they Scientologists too? I don't know. It's possible. That detail, for one reason or another, Jeff, just wasn't included, whether or not there were Scientologists. I think every article from now on should have that after the person's name, not a Scientologist. Yes, he's a Scientologist. Yeah, they'll come up with like an acronym to like shorten that process.

But so one victim, he told the local press that my son ran like mad, but he still got stung. about 15 times. Many people were in a state of desperation. They abandoned motorbikes and cars. I had my car windows down when a swarm of bees appeared out of nowhere and just came right in. So for nearly an hour from the beginning of this attack, if you want to, I guess you could call it an attack because they did seem pretty intent on stinging these people.

Sure. But for about an hour, they shut down all these streets and a bunch of beekeepers came in their protective suits and worked to remove these hives using, you know, whatever means they had at their disposal. And eventually the area was made safe again. This is not an ongoing. Like three days later, the bees are... You never know.

It's over. Own the city now. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that practically happened with those macaques in Japan. That's true. That's like they pretty much just took over. So this event has been blamed on two illegally owned hives of bees that were being

kept at a house near the spot where the swarm attacked. And there's a quote from... a local journalist. Her name is Sylvia Tashara. She said that I saw people running everywhere and heard lots of sirens. Shopkeepers were closing their doors. I never imagined for one minute it was going to be down to bees, which I can kind of understand. Like if I saw mass hysteria on city streets. You'd think it's like a terrorist attack. Yeah. I just never, bees would be, I don't know, probably not in like my top 50 first thoughts of like what was causing this. They might make 50 for me. But I don't know. Really?

Yeah. In the middle of a city? Okay. Well, you're an animal meeting. Especially the way that people react. Like, the way they move, I bet you is like very... They're all like running with them. That's true. Sporadic and like don't know where to go and what to do.

Yeah. You guys are right. It wasn't immediately clear what set these bees off. Experts speculate that it was probably just due to like the stress of inner city living, like the noises. We've all been. Horns. Yeah. Right.

So I guess moral of the story is don't honk it bees. Okay. That's the moral. Even if they're like, you know how sometimes bison get in the way of your car in Yellowstone? Yeah. You don't, like if a bee is doing that, just be patient, wait for it to move away. Don't honk. Be patient.

Yeah. You remember in Jackass when they fill the limo up with bees? Yeah. And then lock off. the doors and then they like finally let them out and they have all these marbles just to like make them fall once they get out oh it's so funny man all right mike you you good on bees yeah over to you jeff you want me to do another one or do you want me to go again i only looked up one i guess all right let me let me google lying quick here all right here here's here's here's

is a lion attack. So this happened, this happened in October, and a three-year-old child was snatched from his village in Savar Kundala. And what country is it? It was in India. They went out, like, police went out and looked for him, and all they found was his arm in his head. Jeez.

Oh, man. Pretty intense. And then also in India, there's a 50. year old who was like he's in Voddy village near gear national park lion reserve that's the only place he was like walking on a he was like an immigrant walking on a road and didn't really know that like there's just lions around there and he got killed as well by a lioness yeah so like there wasn't much story with those ones i also watched a crazy video that someone just took of a male lion who was getting attacked by

over 20 hyenas, and they all just, like, swarmed him. Think Mike's bee story with these bees on a person. Yeah. But it's all these hyenas just attacking this male lion, and it just, like, kept just, like, taking them all on, and then it ended up, like, killing one of the hyenas and holding it up in his mouth, like, as high as he could, just as, like, a show of dominance to all the other hyenas. Interesting.

But yeah, that one's pretty quick. I have a few other quick ones that I'll come back to. I don't have like a ton of detail in my other ones. Gear is the only place in India where they still have Asiatic Lions. It's the only Asiatic Lion population, I think, outside of, or it's the only Asiatic Lion population. But it kind of always seemed unfortunate. People in India already have to deal with like leopards, tigers, wolves, slot bears.

And then like, hey, let's throw lions in the mix. You know, I don't know. It's rough, but it is cool that they have some Asiatic lions still. Actually, I'll throw in one more story real quick. Okay. And then you can come back to me for two more at the end. Okay. But I saw a video online.

All the articles about it said, like, we don't, we couldn't figure out much about it. But there's a video that just came out of doctors pulling a four foot long snake out of a woman's mouth. Jeez. So what all the articles are? article say is that like the snake crawled into her mouth while she was asleep and she just like felt really bad and went to the hospital and they like pulled the snake out so that's what like i couldn't get confirmed that's the story that's hard to look it up like if you want to look up the video you look up like snake crawled into like that caption's always like snake crawls into

sleeping woman's mouth yeah and that's what i think too but then it's like it's just just a random woman with a snake in her stomach, too. So, like, what do you believe? The thing that's hard to believe is that a snake would do that, like, because they're smart. They know that they're crawling into a mouth. It just makes me wonder if she was doing something silly. People, like the sword swallowers or something. Yeah.

What were you saying, Mike? A stat that what? People eat three snakes every year in their sleep. No. I think that was, like, eight spiders, but that's not true. There's that scene in snakes on a plane that really bugged me. We didn't bring it up in our review, but there's a shot where a snake comes out of someone's mouth head first. And the logistics of that situation didn't.

The whole movie didn't make sense. I can't believe this bothers me so much. Well, maybe you should watch this video. Yeah, okay. Okay, that is. I'll watch it. But my, like, so I had this little tiny green snake for a while. And I remember once thinking, like, I wonder if I could snort this thing up my nose and pull it out my mouth.

Maybe she was just trying to do something like that. I don't know. There was like, it's long, though. It's like a pretty decent-eyed snake. Yeah. And like right when they pull it out, it moves its head towards the nurse holding it. And she, like, loses it. And then the video cuts out.

Interesting. Well, I'll look it up. Yeah, I don't know. Like, it could be a fake video too. We got the details. But every article says, like, we couldn't confirm it in the hospital. They even said like the hospital doesn't like the hospital that took it out is like the hospital says they didn't take the snake out Yeah, I'm gonna watch it because it could be fake

It's not a fake video well I mean like they pull a snake out of her mouth look it up right now Okay, here it is okay, you're right it's not fake yeah, I don't know But the hospital says it didn't happen? Yeah, that's very strange What the heck okay I mean that is from the article if anyone out there can change the figure out more about this, let us know because it's a bit of a mystery for us. It's pretty thin snake. It's not that thick, but it wouldn't be comfortable to have that in your throat. Yeah, it is long.

Yeah. All right. So I've got two quick ones. There was one that went viral recently. Probably a big part of the reason to win viral is because Joe Rogan posted it. I love that guy. But it was like. Yeah.

All right. You ever seen his face? That makes you guys. When someone gets punched in the UFC And he just like holds the two people next to him And his eyes are just like coming out of head And his huge head turns all bright red I like that

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Just steps from the water The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. This guy, John Erickson, was hunting in eastern Idaho.

I talked to my cousin who works for Idaho Game and Fish or Fishing Game or whatever. You rock? Yeah, Eric. And he said it wasn't in his area, but he heard about it. So I think this was summer around Idaho Falls, but this guy was hunting, and he was elk hunting, early season elk hunt, and he was approached by a mountain line. And in the video, it's kind of similar to the one that went really famous in Utah of the mountain lion chasing the kid up the trail. This one was much shorter.

It didn't go on for nearly as long as the other one. But it's the same kind of thing where the guy's backing up and the lion's coming toward him. Ears are pinned back. It's hissing. It's doing some bluff charging. he had a Glock and he fires a warning shot. The line kind of peels off but then comes back, fires another warning shot and it runs off.

The reason I wanted to bring this one up is again, it was like every single article, Hunter stalked by Mountain Lion, Hunter hunted by Mountain Line, who's the one hunting, you know, that sort of thing. And I just wanted to reiterate this is not hunting behavior. Like if you have a mountain line following you ears pinned back, hissing, showing you its whole body and bluff charging you and stuff, doesn't mean that it's not necessarily going to engage with you.

It still could if it's pissed off enough, but it's not stalking you. It's not hunting you. When they're stalking, their ears are forward. They're listening to everything. They use them like little radar dishes. They're creeping around in the bushes. They're trying to be as quiet as possible before they launch their pouncing attack or running attack.

So this is not that behavior. This is either escorting behavior or some of, other form of aggression. So the common theories are that this was a cougar that had kittens or this is a cougar that had a kill nearby and he was too close to it. It's not the one where you like shot at it like six times? He shot twice, yeah. He did two warning shots with the Glock.

He almost shot it. He almost got it. It goes right over it. And I wonder if he was trying to or not. But it does. It wasn't. He got its close. Yeah.

After the second shot, the line does, it does run. off. So, all right. So that's that one. I thought we should bring it up because it did go kind of viral. I've got a sad one. What did Joe Rogan say about? I don't know.

I don't watch his stuff for listening to this stuff or anything. Probably like, this is the most primal. Yeah. Primal animal. This guy. Man versus animal. This primal. Yeah.

All right. So this one's a little sad. About a year ago, a kid in Australia, an 11-year-old boy, Tristan Fram. died when he was bitten by a venomous snake in a friend's yard in Queensland in the South Burnett region. I couldn't figure out what type of snake it was, probably like a tiger snake or a brown snake or something, one of the more common venomous snakes in that area. But he's been in his friend's yard. He came home, told his dad he was in pain, said he wasn't feeling well,

his dad ignored the pleas to take him to the hospital, and he went to bed in excruciating pain, woke up in the middle of the night, went outside and got really sick, and died by a shed in his yard. They found him in the morning. The reason I bring this up now is a year later, his dad has been convicted of manslaughter. He's going to be sentenced in a couple weeks. We know the Australian system's a little wonky and like child death isn't maybe... Dinkos. Yeah, I don't know.

But I'm hoping, I mean, that's pretty negligent for your kid to come in and say in Australia that he'd been bitten by a snake and not to go seek some medical attention. Yeah. Yeah. One of our listeners, Deanna lives in Australia. Uh-huh. And she just put on her story the other day. There's like this brown snake on her trail. Yeah.

And her dog went up to like try to go like sniff it or something. And then she like flipped out. Yeah. I was surprised. I read up a little bit on Australian snake bites because Australia is kind of the country that has this funny reputation of like everything kills you there. They actually only average like two or three deaths a year. from snake bite, which isn't much more than us.

We average one or two. Or we might even average three or four. I can't remember. It's somewhere around there, though. And they have up to 30,000 snake bites per year, but only a couple people die. And that's just because they have really good response for anti-venom and stuff like that. So, cool. Not that many people actually die.

Yeah. He didn't have a great response. Bad response. Yeah. That one's pretty tragic, though. All right. Sad, bad dad. Mike, you have a snake story too, don't you?

I do, and it's also sad. It's crazy. It is crazy. I think this one might have been sent to us the most. Really? Yeah. So, again, sadness. Snake.

We got it. Sadness. I don't know. It's always hard to start talking about these kinds of stories, but, okay, so this October of 2022, it was on a Sunday, October 25th, when the events of this story really took place. But this took place in the Jambi province in Indonesia. And the story goes that a reticulated python...

There's not really a delicate way to say this. A reticulated python ate a woman. Yeah. Entirely consumed her. Her name was Jara. She was a worker on a rubber plantation in Indonesia. So early on on that Sunday morning, Jara made her way to...

the rubber plantation for probably what was starting is just a normal day of work. But when she failed to return home that evening, her husband set out to look for her. He eventually came across some of her belongings. I think there was like a jacket and some sandals and even her tools, but no sign of his wife, Jara. So he understandably was pretty concerned at this point and he rounded up some locals to help him set out on a search party to find his wife. And sometime the next morning, they came across a gigantic, like a 22-foot-long reticulated python with a suspicious lump in its midsection.

And they feared the worse. Yeah. So they apprehended the snake and they cut it open. They killed the snake and cut it open. And they found Jara's body inside entirely intact. Just crazy. Yeah. The pictures were insane.

I was going to say there are, I didn't have a great time looking at these pictures. You can go find them if you want. What, like, would the snake just go, like, lay down for, like, three weeks to digest that? Not that long, but it'll take it a while to digest a person. I keep thinking of, and this is, like, maybe this is a crass. This isn't a comparison, but, like, I watched that bull snake eat a ground squirrel this year. And like this ground scroll was much wider and bigger than this bull snake. And it really didn't have a hard time getting it down.

And then once it was inside of it, it just like, I expected it to be this massive bulge. And it kind of just like, it's not that big because the body just compacts it exactly. And it like pushes it in. And so like it doesn't look like it's big enough to be a human. But then they cut it open and it's like expands again. But this is the only snake that does this. Reticulated pythons are the only. only ones on record that have consumed people all like this. Anaconda probably has the ability to do it,

but it's never happened on record. There's never been anyone that's been killed by an anaconda that we know of. It probably has happened, but it's like hasn't been recorded. But reticulated Python's like every few years, it seems like someone gets swallowed by one, which is crazy. It's a terrible way to die. I saw a lot of headlines saying that, and maybe this is like just a very small sliver of comfort. I saw a lot of headlines saying that this woman was eaten alive, but this is almost certainly not the case, right? No.

It's like snakes kill first and then swallow, right? Generally. At least these snakes. Yeah, it's big, like a snake that big is going to be big enough to where it, like, we talked about this in some of our constrictor episodes, but like, if they're big enough, what happens is like, they actually force the blood so quickly up into your brain that it kind of like fries your brain and kills you quickly. If they're not that big, then they can like, what it does is it constricts you

enough to where like the blood pressure kills you, the increased blood pressure. And then like even the smaller ones can just constrict you to where you actually die from exfixiation. Exfixiation. I don't know why I can't say that today. But yeah, a big snake, a 21 foot snake, the articles I read said seven meters. That would be big enough to be that one that. kills you by like actually like exploding your brain so man yeah so it'd be a quick death i mean

she would have died quickly you can't get swallowed alive because like it's too long of a process and like an adult would be moving around too much yeah i think for a person but they do sometimes swallow prey alive but for a person i i agree like it wouldn't it would have to kill you yeah you know it's a bummer i think we take it for granted that we have like really tasty food that we chew up and like kind of take our time tasting that we actually enjoy eating yeah it's not just like a biological imperative except for like yogurt i guess you just swallow yogurt yeah i think my snake gets really excited to eat yeah yeah snakes seem animals seem dogs yeah guys get so excited they like knock their food all over the ground but you're right we are very lucky it's crazy that we live on the planet with

the snake that's big enough to eat us that to me is just wild whenever one whenever someone's get eaten. I will say like, it's almost always like someone really small. And they are good, like, they're smart enough to figure out what they can swallow. And it's almost always like a smaller woman or man that gets killed. Yeah. So, yeah. I did want to get into a little bit of the environmental reasons why this, you can't ever say like one specific reason for why a specific attack happened. But there's been speculation and theorizing done by some experts that this, this is happening in this part of the world. And I forgot to say that this is the third time that a human's been consumed by a reticulated

Python in Indonesia since 2017, which seems like the numbers may be going up a little bit. I don't want to say for sure that any one thing is causing that to happen. I think there's some pretty... It's causing it to happen, though. Some serious deforestation. Is that what you were going to say, Wes? Yeah. Yeah, just like us going into snake habitat and leaving them with less habitat is what's

causing this to happen. Like we're removing their habitat and their prey sources, and then we're essentially creating new habitat for them, which is like rodents, pets, all these new sources of prey that they're going to try and exploit. And every once in a while we might just land on that list. Yeah. So a little more fatal than my B story. Yeah. You have maybe something to bring up the mood, Jeff, or you got some sad stuff too? Yeah, I just got like three headlines and I'm done.

Okay. Okay. One of them will bring it out. Have you guys heard, Wes, Wes has heard of it. Mike, have you heard of the saltwater crocodile Gustavo? No. He's not a saltwater crock. He's a nile crocodile.

Oh, okay. What I read was saltwater. Oh, I've heard of that one. Nile crocodile. Not the, yeah. You've heard of it. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure he's a Nile Crocodile.

Well, enlighten me. Okay, so he's in Lake Tanganyika. Yeah, he says, he's a Nile then. Bernudy. East Africa. Burundi. Lake Tanganyika and Burundi Africa. Yeah.

Thank you, Wes. You're welcome. But anyways, people in the area think that this one crocodile has killed like 300 people. Oh, man. Yeah. We're going to do a full-length episode on him at some point. People think it's like a hundred years old. It's like probably closer to 60, but it's been like reportedly killing people since like 87.

They've like tried to catch him. They've tried to catch it. There's like a scar on its head, so that's why they like can kind of identify it. And it's just this huge crocodile for the area. But anyways, like the last couple years, they thought that it was dead. And then like a few days ago there's a reported sighting of it. Jeez. So it might still be in there.

He's still out there. It's funny that Mike's two favorite animals, tigers and crocodiles, are the two that I would say, like hunt people. and eat people. I wonder what that. And cows, too. Yeah, it's about me. Yeah, cows. And then for coyotes be whiling,

coyotes be learning. Ooh. Because a coyote in California in Riverside went into an elementary school and this was in the bathroom and they had to like cancel school for half the day to try to get this coyote. Was he smoking a cigarette in there?

Had diarrhea. Yeah, he was in, yeah. He is with the wrong crowd for sure. And then my last one was a British Columbia man was reportedly attacked by a bunch of turkeys and one rooster. And he broke his hip and his finger from the attack. Oh, no. So they're probably domestics. This was back in like July though, but since it's Thanksgiving weekend, I want to bring it up.

Topical. It's nice to hear turkeys are getting us, like when you're eating your turkeys. you just know you're doing this guy a favor. Yeah. Because they got him pretty good. Do you think, like, a lot of times we tell stories about someone that gets attacked by a shark and then they dedicate the rest of their lives to, like, teaching and learning about sharks? Do you think this guy is just like, I love turkeys?

I still love turkey. That would be really funny, though. His house is just full of those little hand drawings that you make. Turkeys. All right. That's all I got. Okay, my last one is a quick one. On October 24th, Lee Francis, who's 65, was hunting with his 40-year-old son in a Rock Creek area of Western Wyoming when a grizzly bear attacked him.

As it attacked, he was able to retrieve his handgun. He shot a few rounds at the bear to get it to run away. However, he managed to shoot himself in the leg while he was trying to get this bear to run away. His son was able to call emergency services. They got him out. the bear was likely a bear with cubs. Sounds like you make a good cop. Yeah.

But I just wanted to bring that one up really quickly because, again, it does illustrate why I always say to go to your bear spray first. You're not going to kill the bear. You're not going to hurt yourself. There's a handful of stories out there of people who, like, were in bigger groups where the bear was attacking a person. And they ended up accidentally... And got a gun? No, not the bear. But they ended up accidentally shooting their friend or something.

something. So, anyway, the bear is going to shoot him. You know how when you get bit by a poisonous steak, you're, you're supposed to. Venomous snake, yeah, sorry. Yeah. You're supposed to suck out the venom. Are you supposed to do that with bullets, too, you think? Yeah, he's suck them out.

Yeah. And then you go, patting. If you've watched a movie, you're supposed to have your hot girlfriend dig it out with, with, like, some force ass, right? Yeah. And drop it into a metal pan. Yeah. That's true.

And like the gun's always like a very modern gun, but somehow the bullet doesn't get through all their strong muscles in the movie. Yeah, and you just kind of are like, you just get some whiskey and go, yeah, bite down on the stick. Relax and let Ralph's delivery handle your grocery shopping this week. We start with only the freshest items. Then review your list and carefully choose each one. Then we pack it all up and deliver it in as little as 30 minutes. so you can feel confident it's what you ordered.

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and then they'll taste their pee to like see if they're ovulating and ready for sex. You don't ever do that? I guess I'll start trying. Yeah, I feel like that's something most people do. I don't know what to taste for. Can you do that on yourself or does it have to be someone else? Do you ovulate? Oh, that's a good point.

I don't think so. I haven't yet. All right. On that note, let's move into our categories. We've done enough stories, right? Yeah. A quick one that we're going to add this month. is we are each going to just say something from the normal news that we've been thinking about

or that's been on our minds. The one that I've just been paying really close attention to is what's going on on Twitter, which, you know, in a few years, people listening to this and it might be like, oh, that blew over and that was nothing. But right now, like, Elon Musk just bought Twitter, and he just seems to be systematically destroying it. And I'm sure when he finally does destroy it, he'll be like, I did that on purpose. but it just seems like a total cluster. And it is just, I love Twitter.

Twitter's probably my favorite social media just because it's like funny and fun. But it's kind of fun to watch it be destroyed by a person that I really don't like. There's been like some real gems that have come from it. I'm not a big fan of old E.M. So it's kind of interesting to see him crash and burn in this way. I'm just not a fan of billioners in general, though. All right.

So that's my news thing. What do you guys got? What you got? You don't have like a favorite. What's your favorite tweet ever? My favorite tweet ever? I can't just think of that on the top of my head. I don't know.

But I've got a bunch of bookmarked ones. But there's, I mean, honestly, my favorite ever, the one that usually comes to mind, is when the Democratic National Convention was happening or like one of the debates. And Donald Trump just tweeted in all caps, boring. which to me was like, like I'm not a fan, but that objectively was so funny. And it just made me laugh so hard. Is he still banned? No, they just removed his band, but he's saying he's not coming back.

He has a contract with truth social or whatever he's on. Anyway, we're not going to bring our politics into it, but that was a really funny one to me. Regardless of your politics, you got to admit Donald Trump was an all-time post. Yeah. You want me to go next? Sure. Okay. Recently, a couple days ago, there was a reported Lego heist in Fort Myers. A lady is suspected of stealing thousands of dollars worth of Legos. Lego, I don't know what the plural is. People get mad about that for some reason, from Target. So, Legos are expensive, and it was only about like $2,000 worth of Lego stolen. So that's like, Depending on what sets you're taking, that's like three sets.

Yeah. Yeah. But she, they described her. So if any of you have seen this woman, make sure you contact Detective Warbolus. She has medium-length brown hair. So that narrows it down. No, we don't want to help out. We don't want to help out the cops by this lady.

Yeah, if you see her. Yeah. Help her put together like a fake mustache and stuff. She was wearing a long-sleeved gray cup. No, no, she wasn't. She was a huge dinosaur-looking woman. By now she's changed that. Yeah, this is all, yeah, she's, you have to imagine someone that steals Lego from Target know what they're doing. She's long ago. She had like the, like three, she was wearing three different types of jacket. Right. I'm just not interested in helping these guys capture.

Joined a parade wearing like an eagle. Wow. West, the anarchist here. She also had a hand back. So if you know anyone with a handbag and you do feel like helping these people out, call the cow. Brown hair and a handbag. Don't tell him that, Mike. All right. Okay. So I heard, so Kate Moss recently talked about Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp's been in the news a lot. Like, he's dating his defense attorney right now. Oh, really? I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, we're not saying, yeah, we're not getting into that. But anyways, when they were dating. She was talking about, like, the first time she ever got diamonds. It was a diamond necklace that he gave her. But they were walking, and he's like, hey, I have something in my bum.

Can you check it? And she's like, what? And then he, like, made her dig in his pants in, like, his ass. And she pulled out a diamond necklace, and that was her present. She's like, that's like the worst way you can give someone a diamond present. present. You would always just kind of like feel like it has poop on it. Yeah.

You'll remember that for the rest of your life. I think that's romantic adjacent. I disagree. I don't know. I'm not going to say anything about Kate's predilections, but maybe she's into it. Maybe. Maybe he was into it. Let's do truth and a lie.

So in this category, the boys come to me with facts. One of them is true. One of them is a lie. And I have to determine which is way. Which one did you go with, Jeff? Mike always chose to play a mind game. I went with a lie. Okay.

All right. All right. So there's a type of beetle that's developed a defense of shooting out boiling acid to get rid of predators. Okay. Should we just stop at right now? Well, I don't know. Hold on. I could really, this could change your mind, whatever way you're thinking.

So, hippopotamus milk is my. mildly toxic to humans. The antibodies that are contained in the milk are so effective at killing bacteria that they can cause dysregulation of gut microbiota, which in turn can lead to inflammation and a vitamin deficiency. So, I initially when Jeff said his, I'm like, oh, that's true. But I'm now double guessing. I'm second guessing myself if it was an ant that sprays the boiling liquid or the boiling acid, but I'm going to still say, that Jeff's is the true one. You're good.

You're so smart. You're good. Man. Yes. Yes. You go to school and learn that kind of thing? Man. You just knew the beetle?

Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen like videos of it. It's a bombardier beetle. Bombadier. Bombadier. No. Bombardier? It's not Bombadier.

It is Bombadier. Bombadier. It's Bombadier. Oh, you're right. Fidel. Yes. Okay. Bombardier.

Yeah. Our next category, Jeff, you want to do it? Yeah, so just randomly, I want to do our top 10 favorite types of cat. And what made me want to do it was when we were talking about that guy, I forget who, but someone, like, owned oscillots. And I was saying, like, why does he have bobcats? And you guys are like, oscillates are cooler. So we're going to rank our 10 favorite. Huh?

Salador dolly. Yeah. We're going to each rank our top 10. Cats. So my number one is Jaguar. And I always, people have been roasting me for saying Jaguar. I've been working on that too. Jaguar?

Where did that come from? Is that just how you've always said it? There's other people. I feel like a lot of people say Jaguar. When I was in Brazil and we were looking for him, probably half the group said Jaguar. But I am trying to say Jaguar. Yeah. My number one is Toad, my cat.

My pet cat towed. He's my number one cat. Yeah. Is that how we're doing this? That's my only. That's my only non-wild cat. I think regardless, my number one's going to be tiger. It's my favorite animal, and I think it is the coolest-looking animal.

So Wes is his house cat, Mike's tiger, and mine is jaguar. Yeah. Yeah. Number two. Wes, you want to start? Yeah. My favorite wild cat is a jaguar, which is my number two favorite cat in the world. Jaguars.

Jaguar. Mike? Number two for me is Cheetah. Interesting. I put Bengal Tiger. Okay. I like Bengals more than Siberian because I like that they're in the jungle. They're a little more like lith looking too.

They just look a little, I don't know, I like them. Mike started us off with. Okay. Oh, sorry, keep going. No, that was kind of why I like Cheetahs too is that they're just like really live, like you said, Wes. I know you were talking about different. Yeah. Yeah, I'll just talk about.

Cool facial markings and stuff too. I'll talk about it when I get to it. Okay. Number three for me is Jaguar. They, yeah, I don't know. I guess I don't feel like I need to explain. No. No.

Okay. Jaguar's just cool. Beautiful. Yeah. I did think you might say lion there. Yeah. My number three and my second favorite wildcat is the mountain line. I, more and more, the more I think about it, the more I just think they're my, my second favorite wildcat.

So, mountain line. Yeah. They didn't even make my list. African lion. Tiger, lion, and jaguar, they're just always going to be my top three. The order of the three might change, but like, I love those three cats. Go bigger, go home. Yeah.

My number four is snow leopard. Oh, sorry, I should let you. No, you're good. Okay, so I'm going snow leopard at number four. I mean, other than just being like super beautiful, I love, they have like really thick, long tails. Yeah. I just really want to grab onto one of those. But I won't.

They do seem really. fun to pet. They're insanely beautiful and it's so cool that like we have a snow leopard. It seems like something that should be in like a fantasy book. Yeah. You know, but yeah, it's really cool. That one video of one like tackling a deer off of like a hundred foot cliff and surviving. It's the craziest thing in the world. I chose cheetah for my number four. Big jump up for cheetahs. I used to have them below mountain lions and leopards. But I got a tattoo of one. and now I like them more. Yeah, all right.

Fastest animal ever on land? Pretty sweet. Yeah, I don't know of ever, but they are currently our fastest animal on land. What was fast? You think some dynos, maybe? I don't know. But I don't think we can say fastest ever. Well, I'll claim.

I'll let you. I'll tell anyone shows me otherwise. All right. I will look that up later. My number four is Bengal Tiger. They are my third favorite, big cat. I think they're beautiful. I think as far as like...

You're putting toad first as your joke is throwing off. Yeah, it messes me off. I know. It really, they just are such like an amazing, beautiful, like beautifully patterned animal and so powerful, too. Give us your five, too. My number five is leopard. Pantherapartis, it's the same, I think that's what their name is, same species in, like Africa, India, throughout. They were actually my favorite animal growing up for a long time.

What type of leopard? Just like, they're the same. That's what I'm saying. They're all the same. They're all the same species. There's different subspecies, but they're all the same. So. Okay.

I specified it. Yeah. Mike? Number five for me is the African lion. And it's a little low, probably some people are thinking. But for me, how cool a lion is really is determined by, like, how well-groomed their mane is. And there's, like, a lot of variance there. Sometimes you just get kind of like a gross, matted lion mane.

Yeah. And that brings it down. But when they're like, when they're like, When they're looking, yeah, when they're all beautified up, they're, it's a high ceiling low floor. Really good looking male lions, like the prettiest cat. Oh, I disagree. I think a tiger's prettier or a jaguar. Okay.

So my number five is a mountain lion. It's the coolest cat I've ever seen in person. Like, they're really cool. I love them. And then I'm going to just jump to six. Yeah. My number six is an moor leopard. It's my favorite type of leopard.

I specified it. Yeah. It says subspecies. We can count it. Mike? Number six is the Canadian links. I just, I think they're like little chin tufts.

There's something about their face that like, like, again, doesn't seem like it. Their ears are really the little tufts on their ears to you. They're squirrels. They're like the extra hair sticking straight up. Yeah. Right. They just have massive pause. That's my number seven.

Okay. Well, there. I'm with you there. Can I do my number six? though first. All right. I'm just skipping ahead to saving time here. My number six is snow leopard.

My number seven is African lion. Wow, that's pretty low for Lyon. I'm not a huge lion fan. I just think they're like the easiest to find. They just kind of lay around. Wait, what was your six? Six was Snow Leopard. So you differentiated Leopard.

No, snow leopard's a different species. Yeah. Okay, got you. And then your seven's lion. African lion. Mike, what's your seven? Serve all. I don't even know if I'm saying.

Oh, that's a good pick. I forgot about servils. They've got like, they kind of look like smaller cheetahs, but with really, like, proportionally long legs. And they have these kind of just nice big ears. They're really cool. They are cool. My number eight is a sand cat. Oh, yeah.

Okay. They just like look like a house cat, but they're like so cute looking. And like, I think that's really funny that they're just wild animals. Not funny, but it's like, I don't know. It's just kind of cute that they're out there living wild. Yeah. All right. Yeah, go for it.

My eight is Osolot. I got to see, I've seen a couple in Brazil, actually. They're just like little ghosts in the jungle. They're so beautiful. So yeah, that's why I picked them. My number eight is Bobcat. Fairly similar to links. Made it like smaller paws and legs.

Smaller all around. Smaller all around. But still, they kind of have those cool cheek tufts that are just pretty adorable. Cool. patterns too. I kind of like they're stub tails too. Yeah. My favorite like cat video is that one Bobcat that jumps across like the pier dock like post. It is cool. Those posts. And it just jumps like 30 feet and lands on the next one. It's incredible. They're little athletes. I'm just going to say my next two because you both said them. Okay. So my nine was Osloat and my 10 is Bobcat. Okay. I'll do my

nine and 10 too, but they're different. My nine's a caricle. Oh, that was mine too. What? It's kind of like a tawny. You're both caracal at night. Yeah, they're like a tawny cat that has really bright, beautiful eyes and just really beautiful colorations. They're super athletic. I just think they're really cool cats. They have those like cool black tufts that pop up off the top of their ears.

They're so cool. And their radar, radar ears. Yeah. My 10 is Canada Links. There you go. My 10 is Sandcat. I just like they're really wide heads and big ears. They're really, they really are.

just like almost too cute to believe that they're just wild out there living you know yeah they're cool it's funny like i almost like your list more than mine mike yeah because you have cheetah so high and you like have bobcat so high and i love them but i couldn't put cheetah ahead of my big three mount lion's not on my list at all that's interesting i'm sleeping on them you know i think they're i just think they're like one of the more beautiful and then they're just so elusive i don't know i love them. Why don't you marry them? I will. I'll marry one. I'll do it. Okay, what else do we got? Let's do some listener questions. We'll wrap this puppy up. Okay. This is from Patreon. From what?

And it's from Anna. They're asking, what's the coolest human thing you've ever seen in animal do? I did a behavior analysis lab for undergrad psychology. where we train pigeons and the lab techs train the pigeons to play ping pong. Whoa. Really? I mean, mine's sad, but for me it's that video of bears playing hockey. Yeah. It is amazing.

It's just like they're wearing ice skates playing hockey and they're just grizzly bears. That's probably mine too. I have a hard time. Actually, though, there's that one of a bear like riding a dirt bike on a tightrope? I don't think I've seen that one. I'll have to look that one. A dirt bike? Wait, what?

You pick that one. It's like riding like a motorized bike on like a tight rope. So, uh, other than the hockey bears, maybe not so much cool as practical, but I really like it when people train their cats to use the toilet and then flush it. Me too. Yeah. That's just like, uh, it's pretty fun.

Yeah. Okay. This one is from Kate. and they say, Picture a baseball scenario. You're leaving planet Earth in an escape pod, and you can bring any three different species of animal of your choice with you to live on a new planet. The sky's the limit.

Anything can survive. You can choose land, air, water, what three animals do you choose and why? Well, you got to pick a messenger pigeon to send notes back to Earth, right? I guess. I'm, that's a hard question. I'd probably pick a dog just because I think more than any other animal, they're the animal that brings the most joy to people. I'd pick an elk because I think they're the tastiest animal,

and I'd want one that I could eat. And then I would pick Red Panda because that's the one I want as a pet. Nice. I like that. Yeah. Where you have two pets and one. Yeah, exactly. I have a crazy wild pet. I have a normal pet and I have something to eat.

So I'm going with a dairy cow. So I got some milk and all kinds of other useful features that cows provide. I'll go with a hen for eggs. And then I'll go. Yeah, I'll just stick with a messenger pigeon, I guess. Okay. All right. I would take a cow.

Yeah, cows better pick than an elk. And then they get milk and everything. Yeah. And then I like the red panda pick a lot. So I'll take that one. Yeah. And then I'll take a turtle. Okay.

Just because they live so long. Yeah. All right. And then to Instagram questions. Okay, from Chump 83. Why are female bears called sows? Yeah, I don't really know why. Honestly, like, I could look into that.

But like, they call males, boars and females sows. I don't really like it. I don't really like the way it sounds. So I always just say male and female. But for some reason, that's the name they got. I don't have a great idea. answer for him. All right. From Ghostscripted. Should I paint my kitchen black? Uh, yes. If you like it, sure. Yeah, go for it. Please do it for me. Is black a good color for the kitchen? It's slimming.

Is it? I don't know. I think it depends on what color they're trim and like their, if their cabinets are a lighter color, then I think I'd like it. But if they're dark, I think it'd be too dark. What about that, like, new color they made where like, it's like so black? Yeah, fainted. that color where like there's no light can reflect on it yeah okay from t jacob campbell out of the three of you who's the most likely to succumb to the power of the one ring first probably jeff you think i'm gonna say west oh interesting yeah i think you just you get tempted it easier than i do oh i disagree but that's okay we can disagree on this might can be the breaking vote yeah isn't it like the more powerful you are the more susceptible to being corrupted?

Or is that not a thing? I think it's just, I think it's just your, like your character. Well, it's not Jeff, so I guess it'll be Wes. Okay. All right. I'll take it. From Jesse Babsey. Would you rather discover a rare treasure, an unknown island, or an unknown species?

What was the first one? An unknown? Rare treasure. Rare treasure, unknown island, or unknown species. Rare treasure for me. I'd much rather be rich than... What do you do when you... If you just find a treasure, can you just keep it?

It depends. Like, it depends on where you find it. Like, you need to get salvage rights or mineral rights or whatever. But I would just take it and not tell anyone, and then later figure out a way to get. Hey, do you want to buy this golden crown? Yeah. Just somehow I'd find a market for it. That line of thinking is why I think you're susceptible to the one ring.

Yeah, I just proved. I just proved why. I think I'm going to go with an undiscovered island. There's, I don't know, there's a lot of potential for adventure there. I think that would be cool. I'll buy an island with my treasure. Yeah, it might be fun just to play around on. What is the other?

I'll say, I'll say undiscovered species and just name it. Like, you know, with Bezos messing the world up, Jeff's just kind of need a win. Yeah, so I can just name it, Jeff, the species. It wouldn't be like Latin. anything, it's just Jeff. I'm just naming what, it's just going to be like a ninth bear species that I'm going to name Jeff. If it was a ninth bear species, but if it's just any old species.

I made my own rule there. All right. From Kelopike, what's your favorite quote from point break? Mine's probably just, I'm surfing. What's the actual quote? I'm surfing. There it is. Yeah.

I really like how he says, I am an FBI agent. There's so many. I'm trying to think of some of the other ones, but it's just nonstop, good quotes in that. The one, the line he gives her about how his parents dies was like my favorite monologue. Yeah. Because it's just so messed up. Yeah. Oh, you know what, mine's probably actually back off War Child.

Back off. Oh, yeah. That is my favorite. He goes, back off War Child. Seriously. Seriously. From the Haley. Favorite pop culture ghost.

That the Haley, huh? It's an honor. Slimer. I'm going Obi-1 Canovi. Okay. All right. That counts. Force Ghost?

I think I'm going to go with the ballroom dancers in the haunted mansion. Ooh, I like that. Disneyland. Yeah. We all need to go to Disneyland. That'd be such a good trip. Oh, man. Yeah.

Everyone, all you listeners, we'll let you know the date. Well, thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening to our news reportings. I don't really have much else to say. I am very tired. I'm going on zero sleep. Yeah, we got some nephews that just came to the house. I just heard a funny story that you hung out with our nephews for a whole day.

And then at the end of the day, you were like, who's your favorite uncle? Oh, yeah. And they paused for a long time. No, there was no pause. It was just Ben. And I said, Ben, who's your favorite uncle? And he goes, Uncle Jeff. And then he said, but I like you too sometimes.

That's why you can't ask. You can't ask. If I ever get a girlfriend, I'm not going to be like, who's your favorite guy right now? Yeah. Because what if she tells me someone else? It didn't hurt my feelings. I knew he was probably going to say your name. So, it was, shoot your shot.

Oh, yeah, one other thing I wanted to do before we leave. Sorry to bring this up. We've been wanting to do it for a little bit. Something we learned from Bigfoot Collectors Club, actually. Yeah. But each episode, we want to read one five-star review. Yeah, let's do that. Of ours?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So I'm just going to choose a random one because I totally forgot we were going to do this. Okay. So this, what is. One's title is Pretty Solid Podcasts. Love the detail and research put into each episode, also a ton of good outdoor tips.

All right. Thanks. Who was it from? That's from Doke Holiday. Doc holiday. Doc holiday. Doc. Wow.

Bomba, Bada. Bada. Beal. All right. Next time we'll look through them and send us like some funny ones or something. Yeah, just give us more five-star reviews. You know, maybe we'll read your son on the podcast. If you could, like, criticize us.

This is a good way for us, like, don't do that. There's one five-star review that was like, Mike's episodes need some work. And that was the whole message, but it was still five stars. It's a pretty effective way to, like, get our attention. We need it. Well, thanks, guys. We'll see y'all soon.

Bye guys. Love you, guys. Love you, bye.