Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Horse Attack - Love 'em or Hate 'em

Episode Date: July 30, 2021

We have a special guest to talk a little bit about Mike's least favorite animal: horses. Will she be able to change his mind at all, or will he continue to be a huge negative nelly? ~~ To advertise on the show, contact us! ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social:  Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds                          Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everyone, welcome back to Tooth and Claw. This time, we have a special guest to talk about a very special animal. Well, special, depending on who you ask, I guess. But anyways, this was a really fun episode for us to record since we got Wes's girlfriend Jesse on the mic to talk a little bit about horses. We tell some fun stories, some funny stories, some tragic, and some a little weird, so there's a little something in here for everyone. We hope you enjoy it.

Oh, and also worth mentioning, we just launched our first piece of merchandise, a Tooth and Claw t-shirt designed by an incredibly talented pro artist and friend of ours, Robin Banks. If you want to check it out, you can find it being modeled on our Instagram account by the one and only and aforementioned Jesse. She makes it look good. You can find that shirt at www.tooth and claw pod.com. That's our store. And to show our thanks to everyone who supports us on Patreon, we have a special promo exclusively for you to get $7 off of your order. And you can find that code in the post that we just put up on Patreon about it. Just note that that code will only work up until August 10th, 2021. So act fast if that sounds like something you want to get in on. All right, that's enough talking. Let's get to the

show. All right, here we are. We are back with another episode, a very special episode. Why is it special? Because Jesse's here. Hey, who's Jesse? Jesse is my girlfriend of three years. Wow. Three plus years, a little bit more than three. Jesse. Three. Three. What? years. I plan birding trips around the world for people who want to see birds. Wow. That's pretty cool. So would you consider yourself an ornithologist?

No. I would if I were you. Well. Maybe someday. Maybe after a few more trips. And then you also got Wes, Jeff, and Mike. We're all three still here. Jesse and the boys.

Jesse and the fellows. There's a reason we brought Jesse on the podcast. And it's because Mike has continually expressed. his distaste for a certain animal. And that animal is one of Jesse's favorite animals, which we all know what animal we're talking about at this point. Horses. And Jesse loves horses.

And Mike hates. Hates. We'll get into it, Jesse. We had a bit of a field trip today. It was one of our first podcast field trips. And we went and visited Jesse's horse Guapo. And Mike, you rode Guapo. Yeah.

Well-behaved. Young lad. Nice horse. Old at this point, actually. He's old, right? Mid-aged. Horse of a certain. You had a nice time with Guapo, but you've also had some bad times with horses.

Are we going to give this away at the beginning how it went? Yeah. How did you like riding Guapo? Yeah. It went as, it went well. Mike couldn't get it out of reverse. He, Mike did great. Mike was wearing Caprize and tennis shoes and he did great.

Wonderful. And he looked great. Mounting and dismounting is my. Purple Caprize. Yeah. That was a weird choice on my part. Big. Nice.

Yeah. Yeah. He did. It was good. Mike, the way you're talking about it sounds like you went on a day with an X. Just to like catch up and people were like, hey, how'd it go? And you're like, it went well. Yeah, to reaffirm feelings.

Yeah. You know. Well, no, just to like catch up and be like, okay. No, to reaffirm that I hate a horse. Okay. Well, okay. So when we were there, I asked how you felt if you felt differently. And you said you weren't going to tell me then.

He's telling you now. Yeah, I know. So I'm asking for his honest opinion. Mike, what's your honest opinion? No. I'll say I didn't have a bad time riding Guapo. My feelings will get into this. I hope later, I don't want to do this all up front.

We'll do this. We'll do this one. No, I want to talk about the field trip. It's complicated because I recognize kind of the power and the majesty of horses. Yeah. I guess. I don't know. I'm trying to use horse speech.

All the horse girls in high school are always talking about grace. You know, when we say do we like this animal at the end, you can get into the nitty gritty. Sure. I just wanted to bring up that we had a field trip. you got in touch with some horses. Yeah. I missed out, unfortunately. Sorry.

It's okay. Once when I was first visiting Jesse, when we were first courting, she, uh, we went out and there's this horse, a really beautiful horse at the ranch who was working at named Cinco. And he was just out with the other horses, didn't have a saddle or anything. And I asked Jesse, I said, hey, she said, you can hop on him and sit on him. And I was like, oh, is that safe? And she's like, yeah. And so I hop on Cinco.

and she was kind of like leading him a little bit and he started walking and then Sinko saw another horse that he doesn't like and he ran at him and I flew off of Sinko and landed on my neck and we have a video because I was like oh look him on a horse recording myself and then all of a sudden you see my feet go over my head Oh in your video? Yeah and I landed on the Instagram and the funniest thing is like I landed right on my neck and head and our other friend Frankie was there

and she was immediately like, are you okay? And Jesse was just laughing. Like, never once was like, oh, are you all right? How many times has he fallen off of a horse that you've seen? Just the once. I think that's the only time I've ever fallen off a horse. So I started trotting today. Uh-huh.

And I don't know how to not smash my balls every time. You got to, it's this weird rhythm. It's not weird, but it took me a long time to learn. Jesse was good at it. Yeah, it takes a while. I'm still not great at it. I'm not great at it, but like, it's called posting. right yeah hey yeah look at that horse man west you're always posting i'm always posting he's like a

he's like a cent of a horse anyway there's a lot of horses i fell off that one the reason i was laughing is because synco's small he's not a very tall horse he was big enough so you didn't have a long way to fall okay we're not gonna get it's fair i was fine it was a decent fall another thing i like to think about another quick story when i think about jesse and i think about horses we went on a drive in Mexico once and Jesse had like a mouthful of food and I was like mid-conversation with her talking about something and she looks at the window and she goes horses because she just saw like four horses. We've seen thousands of horses together and she sees these four horses in Mexico and couldn't help but like interrupt me spit out food everywhere just to be like more

horses. Anyway I think about that all the time. It's fun seeing them in different places. It's always a rush. Yeah, I get it. When I see a bear, any, I've seen hundreds of bears. Every time I see one, I want to spend all day looking at it. We do that. We do. Okay.

Okay. So we're talking about bears? We're talking about horses. Okay. We finally are given you guys the horse episode. I'll admit, when I was looking for horse attacks, there was a lot of like people that were kicked or bitten or whatever. And I wasn't finding anything that was really that compelling.

Like a horse hunting someone? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or like a pro... Probably hard to find that. Yeah, it's pretty hard. I didn't find like a prolonged narrative of like a crazy story involving a person and a horse.

So we've got a couple stories that are really good, I think. They're a little bit shorter than our typical long story. So we're going to do three or four. Mike's also going to tell a pretty famous one. Anyway. Is it going to be like where the horses each are like tied to someone's limb and then they run different directions? Drawn and quartering? Yeah.

Is that a thing? Yeah, they used to kill people that way. They would tie their limbs. They'd tie all four limbs to four different horses and then hit the horses and the horses run off. They should still have that option on death row. Would you pick that method? Well, if you had a real baddie. Well, then you're just like a hockey puck after they pull you apart.

You think you're still like wiggling around and trying to talk and stuff? It's pretty funny though. All right. What would you say inside? This all depends on the crime. Yeah, fair enough. So our first story, I think is a pretty good story. I'll be the judge.

Okay. Jeff's going to be the judge, I guess. All right. I will also. Well, maybe I'm going to reel that back a little bit then. It's an okay story. I just want to listen. Okay, so we're going to be talking about the Bellevue, Iowa horse stampede that happened

on July 4th, 2010. So it's late morning, July 4th, 2010, around 11 a.m. And residents and visitors of this small Mississippi town of Bellevue, they're gathered together. They're in Iowa, but it's on the Mississippi River. They're gathered together for this big Independence Day parade that they have every year. They've been doing it for a really long time, pretty much since this town started. It's something that they all really look forward to, and it's like one of their bigger events as a town, which I think is pretty standard for the Midwest to have Independence Day be like a really big deal.

So most of the residents are there, and then there's a lot of visitors there. So they estimate there's probably around 4,000 people, and there's only 2,000 people that live in the town. So it's a big deal. And one of the highlights of this parade every year is that there's a large horse-drawn carriage. And it's owned by this guy, Martell Steins, and he lives in a nearby town called Spragueville. I like where this is going. And every year, people pack the street, and there's hundreds of kids sitting on the curb. They're watching for a glimpse of these horses and for the other things that are in the parade. People throw candy. It's a very typical small-town parade.

Side note, Mike hates parades. Oh, come on. I don't, how can you hate parades? You guys are just making me out. I really am a negative Nellie, but,

grades suck. You hate parades, disc golf, fireworks. Fireworks. And horses. Actually, I'm with you on two out of four.

Parades and fireworks. So horses in a parade. The worst. Two negatives equal positive? No. They leave a bunch of shit in the street is what it is. That's true.

I don't like that. Sorry to interrupt you. Okay. So on this particular Independence Day parade on July 4th, 2010, the fire chief, his name's Chris Rawling. He's happily watching the horses and this carriage trot down the street when he notices that something's wrong. So he sees these two horses and they're rubbing their heads on each other and one of them successfully gets the bridle to fall off the other horse. Oh, wow. And that makes the carriage driver lose control. So, Jesse, can you tell us just a little bit about what a bridle is?

Yeah, I don't really know exactly what carriage horses have, but I know there's like a, oh, someone's going to grill me. No, it's fine. Some sort of harness thing, but a bridle is a way of controlling a horse by their mouth. Presumably they have a bit. We can get into that later. We also use that in like some sex stuff, right? Totally.

Yeah, people like to use that later. And we're also talking. So like the reins are what the person's holding. Right. And the reins are attached to the bridle? Yeah, which is controlling the horse by its mouth. is usually a metal bark. And if you, if that's your point of contact,

if you don't have that, you don't really have any breaks. Right. Okay. And breaks are an important thing to have. So you guys remember from this morning, Guapo didn't have a bit. He has a hackamore because he's super sensitive. So going off of his nose is enough pressure for him.

But if this horse had a bridle and the other one rubbed it off, that means that top part came off of its ears and then everything would just fall away. So there's nothing except the bodies connected to each other. Okay, so you can't pull back at all to signal. Right. So that's what happened. This horse, one of them lost its bridle. So it no longer has anything in its mouth that's stopping it from doing anything.

And then that made the bridle fall out of the other horse as well. So they're both, they kind of like made it so they both fell out. They both did it. Somehow with this carriage. Kind of like the raptors in Jurassic Park, they're both helping each other out. Exactly. Yeah. I think with this carriage situation, if one of them lose their bridle, they kind of, the driver lost control of both of them.

The bridles are connected. Somehow. We're going to have to look into that. Yeah. All I know is that the bridle fell out of one of them and then they lost control. They have zero breaks. Yes. Okay.

No brakes. All gas. Choo-choo. Yeh. So, with no pressure on this bridle, the horses break into a run down the parade route. And they're still attached to this carriage. They're probably bored of the parade too. The carriage has the owner, his wife, and two other people on it.

Oh. And there's hundreds of people in their path. So Sandy Crilly of Willow Springs, Illinois was there. And she was collecting Tutsie rolls. that had been thrown by the parade participants with their 8-year-old son, her 12-year-old niece, and her 2-year-old granddaughter,

when she looks up to see the horses like barreling down on her. So she says in an interview, I could see it was two horses. I could see they were running at full speed and they were harnessed together and I knew we were most certainly going to get hit. Everyone was crying and screaming.

So not only are they running, but they're still connected. So it probably makes them panic a little bit more the fact that they're like right next to each other but they also feel free. And like they probably can't stop because if just one of them stops, they're just going to get ran over. Right.

So a passerby pulled her two-year-old granddaughter to safety, and her and her eight-year-old son got out of the way, but the 12-year-old niece was trampled. Oh, no. Luckily, she escaped with only a broken left wrist and two broken front teeth. Okay, not too bad for her. And how old was she? She was 12.

Okay, so those aren't baby teeth. No, those are the real thing. That's the real thing. Okay. Yeah. This sounds like the plot to speed three. Those horses are out of control They can't go below 40 miles per hour

They blow up Inexplicably drop on these horses So dozens of other people weren't so lucky And the horses tore a path of destruction Through the crowd People fell beneath the horses hooves And they fell beneath the wheels of this carriage So they didn't like stop them

No they just kept Goat mowing over everyone Again because they were harnessed together And they were trailing this carriage They were like freaking out They were in full panic mode So after running through the town, the horses and the carriage slammed into a large pole, and that sheared the carriage off.

And one of the people watching this said they saw the dude that owned the carriage, his wife, just go like catapulting through the air. Oh, wow. Just like everyone on the carriage got launched off. But now the horses are free from the carriage, but they're still harnessed together, and they're continuing to run down people and injuring more people. One guy in a tractor actually tried to pull his tractor out in front of the horses to try and stop them.

They ran it over? No, they didn't. A few people tried to grab the reins, too. But the horses swerved around the tractor and they continued their run. That would be crazy to grab the reins like when they're going that fast. The craziest thing to me is these horses are doing, like, they manage to get rid of the carriage, they're dodging tractors. They're running over little kids. They're doing all this stuff that's like fairly...

It's pretty impressive for just two horse power. Yeah. And what finally stopped them... was a minivan. They plowed headfirst into a parked minivan and just, like, knock themselves out. No way? Yeah. They're just running along and there's a minivan parked at the end of the parade route.

And they just... Comic-cosm did it. Did they kill them? Yeah. No. And so I guess it said afterward they were easily restrained by people in the crowd. Because they were concussed. Probably, yeah.

They had to go through a concussion protocol. So what's the damage to the crowd? So all in one, one person was killed. Who? A 60-year-old woman was killed. 24 people were injured and 10 people had critical or severe injuries. And how many had like just mental problems? Probably a lot of them.

So people really actually lost their shit during this thing. I'm going to play, well, first I'll say like a couple quotes from the articles I was reading. One person said it was madness. The fire chief called it in as a mass casualty event. And then I want to play you guys the audio. We'll play, I'm going to play you guys the audio like a, quick snippet of the audio from the emergency calls. There's actually 10 minutes of emergency calls because everyone was like calling the police.

But I'm going to play you just a couple seconds just so you guys can hear like how intense this was for everyone. All right. So that goes on for 10 minutes. Just them calling in ambulances at like everywhere along this parade route because people are just getting mowed down. Summer serve up the cookout classics, Heinz ketchup and craft singles. Every good burger needs a layer of perfectly. milty cheese and thick rich ketchup. We all know it's not a cookout without Heinz and Kraft.

It was a pretty crazy thing. I wanted to ask Jesse a couple questions about this. So did I. I don't know a ton about horses. So aside from the obvious, like this guy lost control of the horses, what do you think they could have done better to make sure this doesn't happen? I mean, if you're riding your horse in a parade, I would assume you've desensitized it and it's just kind of a fluke that that

that happened? Do you know what spooked it? I don't. From what I read, they were just rubbing against each other. And then when the bridle fell out, they were just like, we're free. This seems very circumstantial. Like it's a perfect storm. So you think this could really happen to like anyone's horse if this circumstance came up? I don't know the specifics. A horse has to be like pretty well trained to be in a parade though, right? Yeah, you would want your horse desensitized. You would do a lot of things to make sure they were comfortable with what you would anticipate being at a parade. So kids, music, flags, people running around.

There's a lot of different things you can do. And I would assume these people, especially if it's a cart horse, I would assume they have done that. It just seems like a super weird situation. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe that was their first time. I just wanted to make the point. Something I've learned dating someone who's really into horses.

Who is that? You. Is that there's a whole level of, there's like this big spectrum of how horses react to different things. There's some that are really flighty and jumpy and, you know, really hard to work with. And then there's horses like Guapo where you can put people who know nothing about horses, like Mike, onto it. And he's going to be fine. He knows he doesn't like him. Yeah. He knows something. Well, Jesse and I were actually having a conversation because she assigned the word sassy to the other horse, Chevy. Okay. And, you know, I've heard people give human-like attributes to horses. And that's

always kind of been a little interesting to me because when I see a horse, all I see is an animal just standing there. But people talk to them as if they have very almost human-like emotions and personalities. So it makes sense to me that a different horse could react in any number of different ways into different situations, you know? Yeah. So you think they all have personalities, but they're all just like, bad ones. Dick personalities. I think at the end of the day, it's pretty nice that they're willing to carry us as far as they are. Yeah. And you can't assume that they're predictable. I say my horse is safe and I'd put anyone on him, but anything could happen.

Yeah, right. It usually won't. You put a baby on it, a newborn baby? Jackie's wedding. Really? Well, she wasn't just one. She was like three. She's like a little old.

Yeah. What about like a two month old? Yeah, I'd do it. Just roll off. Yeah, if they fell, it's fine. So I want to talk a little bit about horses because horses are really... I think this is a good platform for you, too. Yeah.

They're big animals. So, Jesse, a quick thing I wanted to bring up with you to, how do people measure horses? It's called hands in horse terminology, which is like four inches. Okay. I always thought it was the size of a man's hand, which I don't know how big that's supposed to be. Yeah. But it is four inches. Apparently four inches.

It's small. Yeah. To the top of their withers, which is the base of the neck where the main ends. And that's another thing about, I've learned about horses. There's a whole set of terminology with horses that doesn't really apply to other animals. It's like horse terms. But anyway, you measure them with hands. And the biggest horse ever in recorded history was a shire horse named Mammoth.

And he stood at 21.2 hands. So that's 86.25 inches. How about real horses? It's real horse. From the shire? No, I guess that's a breed or a type of horse, a shire horse. Okay. For some context, Guapo's like 15 hands.

He's 15? And how big was this was? This one was 80. Oh, sorry, this one was 21.2 hands. Holy count. So he was significantly bigger. This one was higher than seven feet at its withers. So it's really big.

So that's just that base of the neck. Just imagine with the head up. Yeah, that's the base of the neck. Isn't LeBron James about seven feet tall? He's smaller, I think. Okay, so this thing, six more. We did not enjoy him in Space Jam today. All right.

LeBron, if you're out there, you've been called out. Do we do a little side movie review? Not right now. Okay. So do you think giraffes feel cheated because their neck is so much taller than that spot where you stop measuring? I don't think we measure drafts by the widers. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I think this is a horse measure.

Drafts aren't horses. No, giraffes aren't horses. What? So I'm going to keep going. This horse mammoth, he's over seven feet tall at his withers, and his peak weight was about, wait, this is incredible to me. His peak weight was 3,360 pounds. Whoa. So he's over a ton.

He's almost two tons. Yeah, that's like, what, a fifth of a bus? So the smallest horse ever is... How many hands is that? Oh, man. He already said the hands. 23. Yeah, but like they weigh him by hands too, and that's like 9,000 hands.

It's the average man's hand. All right, we're off the rails. We're fully off the rails with this episode. The record holder for the smallest horse. ever was named Thumbelina and she was a mature miniature horse affected by dwarfism. A dwarf miniature horse?

Yeah. And she well I think all miniature horses are affected by dwarfism. It's not like a dwarf version of a dwarf. I don't think so. I don't think it's like dwarf square. Yeah. She was 17 inches tall and she weighed 57 pounds. That's tiny. It's tiny.

That'd be pretty cool. That's like a briar horse. That's like an indoor horse. Yeah. That's a toy horse. So I learned a couple of interesting things about horses. They've been evolving over the past 50-ish million years from a small multi-toed creature. So now they only have one toe, but they evolved from this multi-toed creature over 50 million years. We started domesticating them around 4,000 BC, but it actually became really widespread by like 3,000 BC. So within a thousand years, pretty much everyone was domesticating horses.

So a couple other cool things that I learned. horses have no muscles in their legs below their knees it's just skin hair bone tendons ligaments cartilage all that kind of stuff i didn't know that i thought there was muscle going all the way down to like the hoof one thing i learned is that the bones in their foot it's pretty much akin to a person like walking on tiptoe so they're ballerine yeah they're like little ballerinas big ballerinas out there dancing around i kind of do that too yeah you kind of do um okay something i did know is that horses have some digestive problems. And a very common one is called what? Colic.

Collic. We know this because Guapo gets colic sometimes. Well, no. Here's the thing. He was on Pastra's whole life and then trans... We're not saying it's his fault, but it's happened twice. It's not his fault. It's my fault. Yeah. Oh, the truth. Why do they call it? The thing that they can't do. Well, they can't throw up. Right. Yeah. It says what now? They can't throw up? It's, and so it's a gastroids. Can a giraffe throw up? I don't know. Why are we talking about your That takes so long. That would take long.

Can you just have to like work it up all the way? So basically it's abdominal pain. Right. And it could be caused by a multitude of different things. But usually it's it's a food thing or they're not drinking enough. And any other animal would vomit it up. Right. And I don't want any horse vets to come at me.

But I feel like some really common ones are like gas, which is pretty easy to work out. Yeah. Just walking them around. So they fart and pass things. and then an impaction colic, which Guapo had in January, where he was on hay, which he's not normally on hay. And it built up and it got stuck because the temperature dropped. He didn't drink enough water.

It caused a blockage. And luckily, he didn't need surgery because I couldn't afford it. Yeah. But he did go to the hospital. Yeah. And it cost me about as much as a new horse would cost me. Well, we can talk about colic for hours. We won't.

But it's a digestive problem. Sorry. That was like a condensed, a few good men scenario. Wes really brought the truth out of Jesse. Oh, it was my fault. It was. It was hard. Yeah, that sounds tough.

There's a lot of stuff about horses. I'm going to be honest. When I was reading about horses, I was like, I'm in over my head here. We could talk about horses for hours. We're not going to get into all the nitty-gritty with them. Because we're a wild animal podcast and they're pretty much a domestic animal, and this is our first true domestic animal that we're talking about, I do want to talk about that a little bit.

Because I think we hear the term wild horses a lot. If you live in Utah, there's places you can go to see wild horses. And that's actually a misnomer. A true wild horse is one that descends from horses that have never been domesticated. So those horses that we're seeing in like Nevada, Montana, Utah, there's 33,000 of them. They're actually feral horses. That's the true term for it. Wild horses, there's actually only two wild subspecies that are, actually I shouldn't even say.

that one recently went extinct in the 1900s and the other ones what's called the shrewowski's horse still survives it's mostly in mongolia there's about 1900 of them so the shrewowski's horse is really the only surviving wild horse and that's just because horses weren't native to america so we like had to have domesticated ones to bring over here yeah someone brought them over from somewhere else i don't know if they were native here or not i don't think so there's some evidence that there might have. Yeah, but the ones that we have that are wild in quotation marks, probably. I don't know.

They're pretty wild, though. They're feral. And they're feral, but they're gone wild. But there's a difference between feral and wild. Yeah, but wild at heart. Okay. Yeah, fair enough. So we are going to talk a little bit more about them later, but I think there's probably

people out there saying right now, like, what about wild donkeys? What about wild zebras? Whatever. Those aren't technically horses. They're in the same family. as horses, but they're not horses. And giraffes? Giraffes are not horses either.

What? So like donkeys or asses, they're not horses. Please don't curse. Zebras, I'm so sorry. Zebras aren't horses. There's an animal called a kiang, which kind of looks like a donkey. It's not a horse. And there's another one called an Onager, which also looks like a donkey, not a horse.

So we've gone through our horse biology. Mike, why don't you tell us a story about someone who got hurt by a horse? I'd love to So this is the moment Everyone's really been waiting for Yeah We're gonna talk about Christopher Reeve He's a

I consider him I didn't need to read To know this about Christopher Reeve But I consider him to be an American icon And a hero Yeah, truly But we'll get into Kind of a bad guy though, right?

Good guy Great guy There's a reason he was cast To be Superman And he excelled at the part It kind of ushered in The modern era of Superhero

The great thing about Christopher Reeve though is he was first and foremost a dramatic actor. So he kind of brought layers to a character that kind of previously had been like an untouchable superhero at the core. So he was cast in the part of the Count in an adaptation of Anna Corinina, which was written by Jeff.

Stephen King? Yeah. No, it's a Tolstoy. It's one of those. Those old Russian novels. Go Jeff. But he was cast in as the Count who ended up riding a horse in the film,

and he got really, really into horses. So he got one of his own. He purchased a 12-year-old... Just like Aragorn. Yeah, almost exactly. Interesting. Like Aragorn. Do you know he also bought the Hidalgo horse?

I did know that. Okay. Yeah. I met him at Breyerfest. Yeah. Oh, you met Vigo? No, his horse. Oh, okay.

He was on... Did you get an out of God? No, he's so busy. Anyways, Christopher Reeve bought a 12-year-old 12 year old? A 12 year old. Stop. Don't explain to me.

And so this is something I wanted to explore with Jesse, actually. He bought a 12-year-old thoroughbred named Eastern Express, which I consider to be a bad name. That's a bad name. For any animal. It's bad luck to rename a horse, though. It also is. Okay. It doesn't change the fact that somewhere...

Bad name from the origin. Wait, did he rename it, though? He gave it a nickname. Buck. Well, nickname's okay. Buck. Buck. Yeah.

So it went by Buck. That's not a great name. nickname for Christopher Reeves horse. No, it ended up being fairly prescient. Okay. And you know what? I actually found this out about Christopher Reeve. He was allergic to horses.

Huh, me too. Maybe nature was like one. We've got that in common. Maybe you should have taken that as a sign. Yeah. Stay away. Or you can appreciate the sacrifice made. That's another way of looking at it.

I do appreciate that he did that. Good for him. Yeah. Look, I got him. He's fine. Well, I mean, look at Wes. Wes loves animals. I do.

interacts with animals every day. Yeah. And he's allergic to all of them. To some of them. Not allergic to bears. Not allergic to raccoons. All the ones we're going to have. Well, horses are ungulates by it.

He's not allergic to like a frog or a lizard. Yeah, reptiles. It's really, honestly, to this point, to this point, the only animals that I've interacted with that I know I'm allergic to are domestic dogs and cats, horses, and jaguars. What about all of Jesse's favorite? What about animals? Jaguar.

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Anyways, so Eastern Express, bad name for a horse I wanted to play We're back then Yeah, I wanted to play a quick game with you guys So I looked up some of my favorite horse names That I could find I'm gonna go through 10 And I want you guys to tell me

Whether they were a real name for a horse or fake Okay, you ready? Yeah Yep Okay, so the first one is May the horse be with you Real. It was a real one Sorry Jesse Zero points.

So, so dumb. Bofa D's nuts. Fake. Real. Fake. Real. Winnie the horse. Real?

Fake. Fake. Oh, there has to be a Winnie. Okay, we'll just do one more. No, do them all. You want me to do all? Yeah, okay. So 50 shades of hay.

Real. Real. That's a real one. I like that one. Satellite. Real. Real. Fake.

Fake. Yes. Again, there has to be someone. I'm just going real. Oh, no, it's my mother-in-law, spelled out one word. Real. It's a real one. We did both of these nuts, right?

Yeah, was that, it's real. Okay, both of these nuts. I'm going to go with real. Real. Yep. Essential carpet. Fake. Real.

No, you wouldn't have made that up. That's got to be real. It's fake. There was an essential. tapestry but I changed it up a little bit. Huff-hearted. Yeah. Hoofarted.

Who farted? Who farted? Yeah. Fake. That's real. It's real. Yeah. That's a famous one.

I've been making a joke about that for so long. I think it's famous. I think dad just really loved into it all that. Yeah. It's famous that. Yeah, he really went into that joke. Did you, okay, did you know that I had a horse named Sugar Tits? No.

Really or fake. That should have been the first thing he mentioned. Well, you started saying it and then I was like, Boy, do I have an offer. No, I mean, the first thing you mentioned, like, when we first met. Oh. Wait, did you even tell the story of what happened with Christopher Reed? No.

So it turns out he liked the horse that he was riding in Anna Corinna so much. He got his own, Eastern Express. And he started going, performing, participating, competing, I guess, in events. All of those work. You run around and you jump over stuff. Yeah, it's super cool, I guess. Was he doing? Was it eventing?

It was eventing. So it's three sports. Yeah, so I was going to ask you about this. No, one is dressage. Dressage. Dressage. You can say dressage if you want. Mike speaks French.

So, dressage, which he actually was really good at. So at the competition where Christopher Eve ended up getting injured, he placed like fourth out of, you know, all the other competitors. Man, the other guys must have stopped. He wasn't injured yet, Wes. Okay. So he got fourth place in dressage. Thank you. And then went on to competition.

beat in the cross country, which is another of the three, I guess. What's the third? That's jumping. Okay. So cross country on the third jump of the course they were running through, the horse ended up, it stopped suddenly and unexpectedly, and it ended up tossing Christopher Reeve over its head. His arms got tangled up in the reins, and he landed head first really awkwardly, and ended up basically just destroying the top two vertebrae of his spine. Ooh, you need those. So I didn't find, I didn't find, any footage of that but there is a scene if you guys kind of want to understand maybe what it looked like something similar yeah if you want to see kind of what it would have been like to see

Christopher Reeve fall off his horse just go watch gone with the wind got it oh yeah just a heart rake girl is that the kid yeah bonnie scarlet's daughter bonnie we did she jump over a fence and just gets wrecked she just dies it's not funny she dies in that movie but it's funny because... Oh, it's been long enough. The scene... It's a movie. We don't have to...

We don't have to... We don't need to litigate on Gone with the Wind at this point. But Bonnie's stand-in was just like the fakesst doll, you can imagine. It's just a doll. It's a re-watched Gone with the Wind. Oh, huh.

We just re-watch this one scene probably. Yeah. Braver man than I, if you re-watched that. Anyways, so... Paramedics later went on to say about Christopher Reeve that if he had fallen one centimeter further to the left, he would have died. If he had done so to the right, he most likely would have walked out with less than a concussion.

So it just kind of goes to show the frailty of, you know, the spine, especially the top, the cervical top section of your spine. So after that, he was, of course, lifted by helicopter to the closest medical facility, which was the University of Virginia's, I think, medical center. And the injuries were so severe that even his mother was kind of capitulating as to whether or not, they should just take him off support because even if he did wake up, he was going to be quite literally just a shell of himself, unable to move, really unable to breathe without assistance for the rest of his life. But he ended up waking up and having a couple of conversations first with

his wife and then with his children that kind of led him to make the difficult, but brave decision to carry on. And he opted to go forward with the procedure that would ultimately save his life. And leading up in the nights, days and nights leading up to the procedure, he knew that there was only a 50-50 chance of him even just surviving the procedure itself. And at his lowest moment, I like this detail. He described at his lowest moment that a man burst in the doors dressed in like a little blue and yellow smock with really big fake glasses and told him in a really heavy Russian accent that he was there to perform his routine rectal exam. And it ended up being Robin Williams who came in and. Christopher Reeve recounted that that was the first time since the accident that he had laughed, and he knew from that moment on that everything would be okay. And from that moment forward, he, you know, heroically recovered to the best of his abilities.

He was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his short life. But he started up the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, which has raised over $100 million to help further research and care for debilitating injury sufferers such as himself. And yeah, I don't know, it's just a really, really inspiring dude. Yeah. He tried his best to live a normal life. His wife was really there all, like, from the moment, loving and caring for him. He tried to attend all of his kids' sporting events, all that stuff. And yeah, so that's the danger of horseback riding, but also kind of goes to show that...

That's what makes it fun. Also goes to show that even if you do suffer a major debilitating injury, you can still have a lot to offer. If you're that strong. If it's me, pull the plug. Okay. When you guys are there in the hospital and you're having that. Let's get that and writing out quick. I'm serious.

Okay. Anyway, great story. Thank you, Mike for telling us. I love Christopher Reeve. Yeah, Jesse's a big Christopher Reeve fan. What's the movie called? Somewhere in Time. Everyone out there.

Which Mike is a fan too. Watch the movie somewhere in time. Check it out. Jesse would love to talk to you about it. Yeah, top five. I had one last little story. I know I changed it from 10 to 5. For the sake of time, I'm just going to give you guys the cliff notes on this story.

Okay. A little boy in Taiwan was with his mom. He's like less than two years old. She pulls them over. She sees all these signs saying don't feed the horses. She puts them over the fence, let him feed the horse. The horse bites his finger off. Just bites it clean off.

She picks it up. Seems pretty like pretty routine. This happens sometimes. She picks it up, takes them in the hospital. And then I learned something that doctors do sometimes when you lose. fingers or body parts, they'll sew your severed finger onto your stomach. And they, like, imagine you have only half a finger. They sew that your hand. What are you talking to that? I'm telling you what they do. They sew, like, those severed fingers into a little pocket in your

stomach. They cut a little hole and they sew them in there and they just let it be there for, like, a couple months or something or maybe weeks. And skin forms around it and then they cut all that skin out and you have what looks like a little like oven mitten. What? For your hand now. And that's that's preferable to just like not having a finger for some people. That's what they did to this little shit.

I wouldn't. He wasn't listening to the signs. His mom wasn't like that. He was two. This cute little guy. I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that.

I would go without a finger. I just wear a mitten. There was, I went down a real wormhole. of these things. And I don't, we don't want, need to get too deep into this

because obviously, like, this is a tragic thing that happens to people sometimes. All right. It's just a finger. But I want people to read up on this and look at them and decide which way you would go.

If you want. It's wild. Yeah. The pictures. I could talk about, I would do a whole episode just talking about those surgeries. All right. Let's do it.

That's pretty much it for our stories. So we talked a bit about horses. We talked a bit about how powerful they are, what they can do about wild horses. So I, This is typically the part in the podcast where I would say, you know, do you guys have any questions for me? But I don't, I'm not an expert on horses. I even after researching them, I feel like I really only scratched the surface.

Do you guys have any questions for Jesse related to the stories? Wait, full disclaimer, I'm not an expert. No, but you know a lot more about horses. I want to do our game that we did on our last Turtle Patreon episode. Okay. Where we have Jesse name as many type of horses as she can in 30 seconds. Okay. And then me and Mike, so Mike goes me $5 right now for the turtle episode.

So I'm going to put the number. It's easy. You'll be able to do this. I think you can name 11 horses in 30 seconds. 11 and 30 seconds. That's a lot. Do you want the over or under? Under.

All you got to do is do. She's not confident. I'm going way under. Okay, so name as many as you can in 30 seconds. All right. Ready? Types of horses. Brees?

You mean breed? Yeah, breeds. Okay, quarter horse, Appalusa, paint, pinto, I think that's a breed, thoroughbred, Tennessee walking horse, Rocky Mountain, whatever horse, warm blood. It's a thing, it's a thing, you can count it. No, what? Mike, don't even. It's all right. We're so close.

Fjord, Halfwanger, Shetland, Miniature Horse, if that's a Technot. Are you kidding me right now? That's 12th. That's great. I'm stopping. You can stop. You did it. You guys send me up.

My coats me $10. Thanks, Jesse. Good job. Shire horse. That's really good. Thank you. There's so many more. It's a hard game.

I got scared. Huh? The police horse? The big old ones is the police ride on? Klondike or whatever? Yeah, Klondike. They're just dick horses. The Budweiser horse.

What's the Budweiser horse? Those are Clyde Stales. Yeah. Yeah. Did you say that? No. What kind of horses are giraffes? Now that I'm calm, there's a lot more.

That's right. All right. Well, great job. Yeah, good job. All right. So we are going to go into our categories. Jesse brought us a couple categories. We came up with a couple others for this special episode.

So our first category is going to be our pop culture category. And we are going to say our favorite pop culture horse. But Jesse, you had a little add-on to that. What is it? We are not allowed to do a Lord of the Rings horse because everyone's going to say shadow facts. Fair enough. Or Bill. But that's a good rule.

Yeah. I appreciate that. I know you would all do one. I probably, we probably would have either done Shadow Fax, Aragorn's horse. It's just such a gimmy. I would like everyone to think a little bit harder. I'll go first. Okay.

Mine is the horse from the godfather. Oh, the horse head. Yeah, that's a good one. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's my favorite horse, the severed head. That's a good one. Yeah. I can go.

Okay. I'm going to give my top three. Okay, of course. We got the huge horses and elf. They were just really scary looking. Clyde Stales, I think. I don't know. All right.

And then I'm going the horse from. Oh, no, they weren't quite good. Hidalgo, number two. Okay. Number two. And then number one is the sea horse and little mermaid. That's a good. Wait, what?

Yeah, you dad liked that one too. Yeah. The sea horse. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they ride little sea horses, huh? Yeah. I thought they pulled the carriage. I think they do both.

Oh, they pull a carriage, too. You're right. I don't remember. Ride a sea. Sea horses are tiny. I don't remember that. But they're like big. It's a cartoon.

It's a cartoon, right. It's not real. That's not really. That's not the messed up. Mike, you want to go? Yeah, I'll go. So I, um, if this doesn't count, I've got a backup, so you guys just let me know. All right.

I got the wild stallions from Bill and Ted. We'll count it. All right, there you go. They're not horses, but we'll count it. There's a horse symbol or something. Yeah, we've counted weirder things than that. Wasn't surprised you didn't include your favorite horse. Oh, we're going to get to that.

Oh, right. Yeah. Well, it's your years. Uh, I had one and now I can't remember it, but my backup was. I was pretty into the, in Wizard of Oz, they have the horses of a different color. And now when you rewatch it, it just looks like food coloring. Like, it can't be real. Huh.

Unless they did die the horses. Maybe they did. You really love the spirit cartoon too, right? Yeah, just the original. Yeah. It's a perfect movie. Okay. That's a good shout out.

I pay money to rent it again on Amazon every year. It's a good movie. I was going to say that. But again, that's kind of like a horse role. Give me. Just give it a shout out, you know? What Jesse was alluding to is going to be part of our second category, which, what's your favorite horse girl?

Hottest horse. Your favorite horse girl in the world besides Jesse, of course. Well, okay. And I'm going to go literal on that. My favorite, okay, go ahead. I have a disclaimer. I don't love the term horse girl. Okay.

I think it's kind of pervy. Fair enough. Because it just gives everyone like a weird cat girl kind of vibe from school. I feel like usually when people. People say horse girl, though. They're like talking about girls that are like, have braces and are like horses. Yeah, it's kind of a whole day. Their name Sarah for some reason.

It's a little maniacal, the term. Okay. We won't say it. Horse woman? Just horse person, centaur? Yeah. Well, if that horse, female, her horse person. Huh?

Female person who's very into horse. So if we're going female horse person, then I'm going to get very literal with my answer. You can say horse girl. And mine was the. the centaur girls from Fantasia. Literally a horse person. The hottest horse you've ever seen. Jesse's going to make fun of me a little bit because I told her this story.

But when we were young growing up, we didn't have a lot of movies that we watched, but my grandparents did. And we kind of had free reign on their movies when we go their house. And Fantasia was one of them. And I watched it a lot. And I mostly watched it because I really had a thing for the centaur horse girls in that movie. Which for some context,

They're like pretty soft cartoon characters that have little red pepperoni nipples. No, they don't have nipples. Oh, they don't have nipples? That's the witch. That was the demon that you also like.

Yeah, I was also, I paused on that scene a couple times. A scary old ghost demon that flies across the screen and she has nipples. Yeah, I paused it. Anyway, do you guys have a favorite girl who loves horses from movies? I'll go to Arwin.

Arwen, okay. It's a good answer. I'll go from that one Who's the lady in secretariat? Kind of the, you haven't seen? That's a good movie. I actually kind of like that. But she's older and she kind of like, everyone treats her as, because it's like a male

dominated back in the day. It was like a very male oriented sport. And she kind of bustled her way in and had the greatest racehorse of all time. Cool. It's a good one. Jesse? I don't have one because I didn't think about it. Fair enough.

When we were talking earlier, I realized there's more horse boys than horse girls in film. Yeah. It's always like a guy, Black's dying, uh, Black Beauty. Just because like war stuff too.

Yeah, war horse. Yeah. I want to change my pop culture. Okay. To who? Tony Sopranos horse where he has like the painting of the horse. That's a good one. Yeah.

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Okay. Who's got those? You've got those. Oh, go for Jeff. Okay, from my cocoa, or my coffee. Cosmos. No, my cocoa most. Sorry. She'll know who she is.

Do you guys pick mushrooms? That's the question. Yeah. I've picked mushrooms before. I've picked them. I've never picked any that I've eaten. I picked like a bunch of morels in Alaska once. Oh, that's cool.

And dried them, gave them dad. Jesse, do you pick mushrooms? You know, I can't say I've had the opportunity. Mike? I can't. I'll say no. I can't remember. remember a specific time.

You've probably picked one. I think so. Yeah, not an eating kind. I can't prove it. Great question. All right. From Chaser 93, what one first aid item could help the most in an animal attack? I would say one first aid item, if you could only have one item, I would just say like a

compress, like a bandage and a compress. Just something that you can put pressure on the wound to keep it from bleeding. But like if you have a first aid kit, just have a lot more than that. Yeah, you're going to want more than that. But like, what about one of those like, clear? The defibrillator? Yeah, I don't think so.

I would just, I would want something to stop the bleeding. Okay. What about like any antibiotic thing or hydrogen peroxide? To me that's secondary. Like infection secondary to like you bleeding out. But what if you're wearing clothes? Yeah, but it's like, but then you're going to give yourself an infection with your clothes.

I would want clean bandaging. Okay. Okay. Good questions now. Smooth jazz. What's your? favorite show you've watched this year? What do you guys think?

I'm going Ted Lassau, even though it's last year. I'm counting it. Yeah. So I watched that this year. That was the best. Mad at me. That's your favorite, too. Jesse?

I think it's the only show. No, you watched that other one on Netflix. It wasn't good, though. Okay. What was it called Manifest? Yeah. I watched a show called Devs, which I thought was really, really good. It's got really cool sound editing.

I don't know if you guys have seen the movie Annihilation. Like, at the very end, you know, the really, of the really weird soundscape going on. Yeah. It was the same guy was involved with this devs project, but it's got Nick Offerman, the guy from Parks and Rec. Oh, cool. A couple other really cool established actors.

I hadn't heard of it. It's really, really good, though. I had heard of it. That's why I was able to watch it because I heard about it. At one point, I hadn't heard about it. I'm going to go with a bit of an audible, and I'm probably going to say Invincible. Oh, I was going to mention that you got me into that.

Yeah, I really like. I liked Invincible, which is an animated superhero one on Amazon, but it's really dark. Yeah. I like that one a lot. That's great. Okay. Great question. Another great question from Lily Mabel.

Okay. Is butt legs? His butt legs? Oh, his butt legs. What do you guys think? I'm saying, yeah. Jesse, what do you think? His butt legs.

Yeah, but's legs. Okay. So when they say it. Do those legs go all the way up? Is that like... You say no. You say no, because otherwise you'd have to like... I'm going to say for me...

Oh, go ahead. No, I was... Sorry, you're working through it. Okay. I'll do it silently. For me, I would say butt is legs for myself, for my body. Because I don't have much of the butt. So I'm disagreeing with you guys.

But I think for someone who has a larger butt, they have their own musculature there that's big, but is not legs. For me, it's like my legs pretty much just turn into my butt. circumstantial. All right. Let's keep going. We're going to have to end up. Angela Schenk 87.

What kind of horse is yours? Quarter horse. Okay. From Seth R. Hall. Next question. For owl face. What's your favorite thing about Hefe?

That's my Instagram, Hansel. Oh, it's about Jeff. Hansel? His little baby voice. So hard right now. We got a lot of questions about if I am a stoner. I'm not. I just talk a little slow and slur my words a little bit.

That's one of my favorite places. Leave him alone. He's my little brother. Only we can say mean stuff. Exactly. From Rat Boner. We love her. Cool name. Did she grow up with horses?

If not, how did she discover she likes to ride? That's talking to you. Yeah, my dad had one when I was born. And then I got one. And that's, that's, that's. That's the story. That's it. It's all she wrote.

From. Should ride a book. I'm going to just go. Yeah, pretty good. Shrunk O2. Okay. What's your favorite bridge? Terabithia

Oh, that's a sad bridge Golden Gate It's just really cool Huh I'll give a shout out to the Brooklyn I love like an I just love like an old countryside bridge That has like moss on it

Oh that's too much I do Name one Name a real bridge Okay if I have to name my favorite From a movie The one Frodo crosses To get away the bridge is

Caza Doom Yeah bridge of Caza Doom That's my favorite bridge Brooklyn whole book by David McCullough about the Brooklyn Bridge. I have a whole new respect for that guy. That sounds like a boring book. One listener wanted to know how you're doing on your book reading.

Yeah, pretty good. Really? Can I talk about it more, Jeff? Tipton to Bridge Books. It was a big... I didn't cut you off. David McCullough is an established author. I'm not going to hear slander.

You can defend it. It's an amazing book. All right. Okay. What are you talking about? I don't need to defend David McCullough from you guys. Okay. I'm sure a lot of people are on your side and a lot of people are on my side.

I'm sure a lot of bridges are on your side. David McCullough is definitely on your side, whoever the hell that is. Drop deep Murphy. Oh, great band. For Alaphase, aliface, what is Guapo's specialty? Is he a show jumper, eventor, dressage, anything? It's just a cheap old ranch horse. And then another one for you.

His specialty is being a sweet boy. He is very sweet. Yeah, he's just a nice. guy your friend rachel i don't know if it is actually your friend huh uh for jesse what percentage what percentage of the time is west talking about animals uh west i would say i don't 20 like when word is talking like maybe 20% of the time i talk about it a decent amount but it's mostly like hey what'd you do at work and then i'll talk about animals i feel like it's even though it's not just you talking animals yeah you it's more domestic animals and me it's more white

wild animals. Yeah. All right, this one's from Mike. That wasn't a, sorry, it wasn't a percentage. Rachel. Yeah, give us a percentage. 25. Nice.

From Sky MacArthur for Mike. Why do giraffes have no voice? It's because the vocal cords at the base of the neck and it has a hard time getting all the way that tall. The voice just doesn't get to the top of that. Yeah, the vocal cords are down like by their chest. How did you know? Let's go from Yasmin.

Oh, yeah. I don't even know how to say her Instagram name. Neither do I. Yasmin May. Yasmin May. Yasmin May. The May is spelled a little confusing. Yasmin's a dear friend of ours.

Not a question, but Jesse is so beautiful, like painfully so. Oh, thanks, Yasmin. How does that feel, Jesse? She's going to say pass. Yes, me, is a... When she looks at your picture, you cause physical pain to her, isn't that? Thank you. Thank you very much.

So I want to clarify something. mean as a human friend, not a dear friend. She's an actual human friend, yes. All right. And from our patrons, AJ Rodriguez, what's your favorite monster and pop culture? Oh, that's a good question. Mine's Godzilla.

Godzilla might be mine, too. But, Jeff, why don't you go? Um, I'm gonna just say the T-Rex. You think that counts? No. No. Kind of. No. Uh, I'm gonna go with Godzilla, too.

What's yours? It's this episode of X-Files called the postmodern Prometheus where he creeps into people's houses and impregnates them and looking back on it's kind of gross but in the end they all love their deformed babies and there's a dance scene with walking

in Memphis at the end and fake share is there it's arguably X-Files' greatest episode Okay well that's a good answer You know I have an answer Mine's the monster from the thing Okay I'm gonna go with a gremlin But let's go to the gremlins two because it gets a little more creative.

You want the girl gremlin? Like the internet gremlin. Spider gremlin. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to move on to how are we messing things up for them. So we talked about feral horses and more like that's kind of, we should say how are feral

horses messing things up for us or for other animals? Because they're feral and because they were released into the wild, they've taken over really large areas of grassland. They choke out some of the native species like. from water sources. They're a big problem, and it's a big issue in a lot of places where they're found. They're also beautiful, and people really enjoy seeing them. I enjoy seeing them.

So it's a really complicated issue with really passionate people on both sides. But it is really tricky because they can be incredibly destructive to Rangeland and to prairies and to places that are really important to the U.S. and to the other places where they're found. So feral horses probably don't really have. predators, right? Not in most of the places where you find them, no. I mean, they're foals, which I learned from Jesse is the proper name for a baby horse.

Colts? Colt is just a male. Is that right? Colts are male, fillies of female. Yeah. So a foal is a baby horse of either sex, and they could be preyed on by like coyotes or whatever. But once they get full-sized, they don't really have predators in the places they're found. big it seems probably. A grizzly bear could probably bring one down, but they don't usually share

territory. Anyway, there are a lot of them, and they are kind of messing things up for other animals, so we kind of mess things up for ourselves by letting a bunch of horses out throughout history. As far as the Scherwowsky's horse, I'm sure I'm saying that right. Is that the one with the CH? No, it starts with P. I'm sure I'm saying that right. Oh, oh, yeah, you are. No, I looked up the pronunciation. And it starts, you say it with. with an S at the beginning. Huh, okay. Yeah.

But it lives in Mongolia, Russia, China, Kazakhstan. There aren't many of them. There's approximately 1,900 of them alive today, but they all descended from 14 that were caught in the wild between 1910 and 1960, and they reintroduced them into the wild. So there really aren't that many of them. They're not doing great, but they are out there.

Cool. Cool. So now let's get to the real bread and butter of this episode. Do we like this animal? Let's go with our first. first are layup, Jesse, do you like horses? Yeah. Would you say, where would they fall on the list of animals that you like?

They're number two. Number two after dogs. Yeah, but I don't like all dogs, so. Well, we're just, but still, are they number two for you? Yeah, they're number two. So on our, on our claw scale, out of ten claws, what would you give a horse? Got to be ten. I give it nine claws.

Nine. Nine. Okay. All right. I like that. I thought dogs have to have ten claws. You can give them both ten claws. I give a ten claws.

Okay. Jeff. Yeah, I like them. I always appreciate seeing, like, horses and a pretty field. Like, I think it's better to have a field with pretty horses than just a field. Okay. So, I'm going. Poetry.

I'm going number 231. Okay. I thought he was out of ten claws. Well, that's just overall. But you got to give us your clause, too. And then out of claws, I'll give it a. Okay. I'm happy with that. I think for me, domestic animals are a lot harder, especially when I am allergic to them. I do still like horses. I really like how happy they make Jesse, who's someone I

love very much. And I have grown to like them more as I've spent more time around them. I'm going to give horses five claws, and that's my answer. Oh, Jeff likes them more than you. I'm pretty, I would say if I wasn't dating a horse person, I wouldn't, I would probably, it would probably be lower, but I like them, so they're getting five claws. An animal that I don't like is going to be sub, like, three claws. So horses are my least favorite animal. I'm going to give them one claw, though.

Okay. I might even bump that up to two because I do recognize they've been really important, kind of in the formative years of human civilization. How would you rate them, like, as a tool versus an animal? As a tool, I'd give them, like, an eight. Okay. As just an animal, I'm giving them zero hooves.

I thought we're doing claws. Yeah. It's funny because you love cows. I love cows. They're so handy. What happened was the horse bit you when you were a child, right? It didn't bite him. It's a little more than that.

It did not even bite him. It was a nibble. It got pretty deep down. It sucked your hand up. It did. And the doctors have to stitch your arm into your stomach. Tuck it into your stomach. But as a tool you really like them as an animal, not at all.

So I'm a little bit, I don't want to tread on anyone's ground because this is a real thing, but I consider myself to be something of a hypochondriac. Welcome to my world. Something about horses really at my foundation kind of grosses me out. Like they're weird rippling muscles and veins and like their HR Geiger-esque, like, wobbly knees. Interesting. I don't know. Just something about them is like they smell bad.

This smell bad. Yeah. They smell bad. They kind of have ugly teeth. They got weird lips and teeth. Do you guys want me to leave and you can keep talking about me? No. No, I'm almost done.

I'm feeling very attacked right now. No, I just, I want to let you guys have your thing. No, no, no. I'm almost done. I feel the same way about those, um, no, no, go on. Like the puppets from like labyrinth and stuff. Don't, don't do that. And like dark crystal.

Yeah. Dark crystal. Those give me a real uncanny valley kind of weird gut reaction. I hate those puppets. I'm a Muppet, Apologist I won't stand for it But are those Muppets or Puppets? They're Puppets. They're Henson Puppets.

Right, they're puppets. Henson's... I love Muppets. Jim Henson. Show me a Muppet, I love it. I hate the puppets that kind of look like people. Oh, I love them. All right. We need to make that a bumper sticker.

I want to do Animal Olympics really quick. Okay. Because there's animals in the Olympics of all the animals we do. Yeah. What's your favorite horse Olympic event? Horse dancing. Horse dancing is probably mine. T. Jesse? Tickling.

Is that okay? I don't know what the horse events are. What about when they jump all the fences as fast as I can? Sure, the one where they jump all the fences as fast as they can. We all have our answers. Yeah, all right. Shout out to Vaughn, who's been doing what she do? No, what does he do?

Dressage, right? Raining. He does horse raining and he's really good at it. He is. He's really good. Cool. Well, that's it for horses. We really went all over on this one.

But I think we all expected that. I expected you two to get a little madderate each other. No, I actually found out this trip that Mike and I have a lot in common and I don't want to fight with him. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. He might feel differently, but. No, I want nothing more than for us to be the best friends, Jesse, but this is a line. I can't even pretend to cross over for you.

That's okay. You know, but like him saying horses are his least favorite animal, then he was willing to go ride your horse. Yeah, that's a big fan too. That means he likes you as a person, you know? Thank you. This is Jeff Larson signing out. Okay, I guess we're done. Over and out, Jeff.

That's it. All right, see you guys. Thanks for listening. Bye.