Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Kangaroo Attack - A Rare Roo Attack, the Bull Shark Incident, and the Dangers of Disc Golf

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

In this episode, the guys each bring a handful of noteworthy animal attack stories that hit the headlines recently, and then draft (with varying degrees of success) a soccer team made up of animals.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Tooth and Claw. Today, we're doing another Animal Attack News Roundup. And I'm done talking. Let's get to the show. Hey, everyone. How's it going? Hey, how you doing, Wes? I'm good.

Tooth and Claw. Back at you guys. We're back. And we got a special news episode. Oh, it's special? And why is it special, Wes? Because all three of us are together and we're friends. And we love each other.

Yeah, that's why it's special. So I'm pretty mad about something. Okay, let's hear it. So Avatar's back in theaters. Right. First, I feel like they pulled a fast one on me where I thought it was Avatar 2 coming out this month. And then it's just their first avatar. Right.

And then yesterday on Reddit, I find out that they cut the hair sex scene from it in the re-piece. Yeah. Oh, come on. That's the best scene. Right? It's at least It's crucial To the story

I think the reason They probably cut that Is because he does the same thing With all the animals too Right Yeah Which was a little weird Yeah

Yeah But like That just changes the whole movie now Yeah It does Because I viewed him Like he trained that dragon Because he had sex with it

Or the Yeah It's a dragon It's pretty much A dragon Oh yeah You know he jumps on He had to like jump on it.

No, you got my wires. I was thinking how to train your dragon for a second. I was like, I don't think there's a sex scene in that movie. So I don't know. That one was off camera. Maybe I'm wrong here. But I feel like when Avatar came out, like it was cool not to like Avatar for a while. I feel like at least my friends were like, oh, Avatar.

It was kind of like seemed like a big dumb movie. And then I recently went back and watched it. And I just loved it, start to finish. Like really enjoyed it. I also felt like then for a while that James Cameron was kind of like a hack and just like this big bloated director that couldn't direct anymore. And I had to re-examine that too because I really liked Avatar and then on a rewatch of Titanic I really enjoyed it. I think I like all of his movies. Like genuinely really like all of his movies.

For me too is like the only movie where like I thought the 3D experience was really cool. Yeah. I'd agree with that. Most movies, I don't think the 3D adds anything, and if anything, it might take it away. And that's kind of where 3D has left. But with Avatar, I thought it, like, actually really enhanced the movie and made it cool. Yeah. And I was surprised to see it's coming back.

It's like back in theaters, and it's like all in 3D. And I thought, like, they couldn't even do that anymore. Yeah. I wonder if the new one will be in 3D. I hope so. Yeah. Mike, you're very quiet today. You're just nodding at everything we're saying.

No, I've just been silently considering the fact that... He hasn't seen Avatar. Well, no, I've seen it. I've always kind of secretly been on board. I've had to hide that for some stretches because, like you said, there was kind of like a counter reaction to it. And I was like, I don't know, I was kind of cool. But I was just thinking that I'm glad that 3D never caught on so much

that they went back to like old classic movies and started rendering those in 3D for like a new theatrical release of like the Godfather in 3D. Yeah, which would be kind of cool. For a while, like movies that weren't filmed in 3D. I'd watch that. Yeah.

Movies that weren't filmed in 3D when they'd come out in theaters, they'd like then in post like make them 3D and they look terrible. Like they were awful movies. It might make Godfather a little less boring though. Oh, holy cow, Jeff. Holy mackerel.

Maybe people just didn't find, like, I think Avatar was thought to be cool for like a year or two after it came out. But I think like after the second Halloween of people dressing up like avatars just in the blue paint and like no shirt. They're navvied. People were like, oh, maybe this isn't cool. Yeah. But now, Mike, you can bring that back out. Yeah, true. Yeah.

My little weird tentacle thing. Yeah. Oh, I saw this tweet the other day that was like, you know how when Sigourney Weaver turns into her avatar into like the Navi? She has a Stanford shirt on still, but it's like a huge one. It's like this tweet was like, this means that she had to bring a huge Stanford shirt to space with her to like put on her navvi. And that's like how proud she was that she went to Stanford. Standard Stanford student. Another one I saw that was really interesting was I guess James Cameron when it came out, he like invited all these indigenous leaders from all over the globe to a screening of Avatar.

And then he went and like protested pipelines and stuff with indigenous people afterward. Oh, cool. It's nice. I like that. I like it a lot. I have a good James Cameron story from, so the guy who does the visual effects for Avatar, I drove him at the Sundance Film Festival. Yeah, super cool, and he won an Oscar for it. But anyways, he told me a story about aliens too, because that was James Cameron, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So he was like, James Cameron, when he like met with the board of people to like, okay the movie, like his entire pitch, he went up to the whiteboard and just wrote money with a dollar sign. Yeah. And like that was his entire pitch. It was the word alien on a whiteboard, and then he just added the S dollar sign on to the end of the alien. Oh, that's what it was. Yeah.

Okay. So I guess everyone knows that story. But you got it from the inside. I got it from... You're still cooler than the rest of us, yeah. Yeah, even though you had more details. That's unimportant. Who are we to care about getting all the details, right?

You know, Wes? That's Wes's job. That's my job. And it's only with wildlife. He's probably... He's got to be like the most successful director ever, money-wise, right? I think Spielberg still. Oh, yeah, you're probably right.

Michael Bade with all of the advertisements he sneaks into his movies too. I just mean like box office. All right. Well, anyway, we can talk about James Cameron for hours, but we're not going to. Come on. What do we actually talk about here, Jeff? James Cameron. No, that's not what we talk about.

We talk about animals. a wildlife podcast and you know we like to talk about stories that feature animal attacks and we like to do them in a way that's not sensationalizing them and we can do that you like to do it that way yeah you like to sensationalize it up a little uh i'm a wildlife biologist i have worked with bears for most of my career jeff helped with a little bit of that mike has absolutely no connection to animals whatsoever none he helped once right didn't you come to a bear den no I've never even seen an animal. No.

Ah, shoot. Anyway, we're tooth and cloth. That's what we do. You guys got anything else you want to talk about? What we do. Yeah. No, I think I'm exhausted, honestly, the past 10 minutes of being pretty taxing. I think we should just get into the episode.

You want me to give you a news story? Yeah, let's, you know, it's our, it's our news episode. So let's talk about some news stories. All right. I'll kick us off with a quick little one. You cook us off? I said kick. I had to remember what I said.

You're in his head now less. So this one I have very little details on, along with a couple other ones I have. Okay, it sounds about right. In Ukraine, in Kharkiv, there's a chimpanzee they escape from their zoo there, because, like, they had to relocate all the kiv animals to Karkiv. I said one of those wrong. I think I said... One of, like, the border towns, they had to relocate the animals to Karkiv, okay?

So, like, it's kind of like a makeshift zoo. So this chimpanzee escaped and was just running around town, and the zookeepers kept following it around and couldn't get it to come back to them. It's kind of like the thing with, like, a dog off the leash where you can't ever quite catch them, you know, but they'll like stay close to you. Okay. Yeah. So what would you guys do to get a chimpanzee to come back to you?

I'd get a banana. Banana would be smart. What did that guy in our chimpanzee story? He brought a cake, right? Yeah. That got the chimps coming over to him. They didn't like that. That got three chimpanzees over there.

You might want to wear a full suit of armor if you bring a cake. Well, after a few hours, the zookeepers eventually, it started raining and the zookeepers started holding up a raincoat. So then the chimpanzee was like, didn't want to get wet and came over. And then they offered him a hug and put them onto a bicycle. I think I saw photos of that. So there's this really funny video of like a chimpanzee and a raincoat on a bicycle and they're just like, wheeling it around Ukraine. So that's my first story.

All right. Starting off strong. I'll go next, I guess. I'll do one that a lot of people sent us this month. It's one that happened pretty recently, and I think so many people sent it to us because it's so rare. It's not a thing that really ever happens, which is that a man was killed by a kangaroo in Australia.

So the last time this happened... What the heck? So it's been almost, almost 100 years since the last person was killed by a kangaroo. What do they call kangaroos as like a nickname in Australia? Ruse? Ruse. Ruse. And skip.

That's what that one guy called him. That's right. All right. So this guy was 77 years old. He lived in this kind of somewhat rural city of Redmond, which is near Perth and Western Australia. it's likely that he was keeping this kangaroo as a pet. It was an adult male Western gray kangaroo that attacked him. Apparently it attacked him earlier in the day,

and then when the police and the EMT showed up, they actually had to shoot the kangaroo because it was guarding this guy's body, and it wouldn't let them, like, get close to the guy. When they finally, like, were able to get to him, they pronounced him dead on the scene. So this is, like, a pretty unheard of kind of event, but I think the really important thing to, consider here is that this was likely a pet kangaroo, like a wild one that this guy tried to turn

into a pet. And that's probably what led to it attacking him. Their western great kangaroos are extremely common kangaroos in southern and southwestern parts of Australia. They can get up to more than 120 pounds. They're highly sexually dimorphic. The males are about twice the size of females, which actually brings up a point that I wanted like kind of a correction corner. I had a friend write me and say, hey, it seems like you guys only talk about sexual dimorphism in terms of size. And I know we have talked about it outside of that, but I just want to make sure everyone out there knows we bring up sexual dimorphism a lot. It's not just size. It can be any kind of like phenotypic expression. So your phenotype is like all of your physical attributes. So it can be

anything physical in an animal that's different between the genders. Like a, like a, peacock is really bright and blue as a male. Can I play like the other side of this a little bit? There isn't another side. Well, I'm, I'm just going to like say though, like, how, how is it even notable that an animal is sexually dimorphic then? Because it seems like with every species, there's some differences between males and females. Yeah, I mean, like, that's why, like, some of them are very sexually dimorphic and some of them are just somewhat sexually dimorphic. but like there are some where you can heart like ravens for example are very similar you know between males and females

is there a word for that uh probably but they're still sexually dimorphic they're still they're still going to be like a little bit different but then you have animals like a peacock that i just brought up where it's like very different between the male and the female or a western gray kangaroo where the male is much bigger than the female. So it's just like, I get what you're saying, but it's worth noting in some animals because there is such a vast difference. It looks like there is a term for what you were talking about, Jeff. It is sexual monomorphism. So for anyone curious enough, Jeff. Yeah, let me know when there's a sexually monomorphic animal. I will. Yeah. I think he just did. A raven. So gray kangaroos, I'm not sure about ravens. I just kind of pulled that one out because they look really

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on flights, hotels, and rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com. Actual prices may vary. I'm offer. So great kangaroos can jump more than 25 feet at a time.

They can move at speeds of around 35 miles per hour. Yeah. 25 feet is freaking, that's a bus. It's far. Yeah. That is. Oh, no. They use their tails like a springboard when they're jumping, and then they also use them as a balance.

That's a cartoon. That's Tigger. It's not. They actually do it. And they'll lean back on their tail when they're fighting, and they'll kick out their front legs. That's cool. And that's likely what happened with this guy. They have really sharp claws, both on their feet and on their arms. They also grapple. So they kind of treat us like they treat another kangaroo. So if like you're in a bad situation with a kangaroo, it's going to kick at you,

and then it's going to try and grab you and like grapple with you. And they'll even try and like scratch your face and gouge out your eyes and stuff. Oh man. So they're pretty gnarly. And one good kick from their feet could disembow a person. And that's my guess. So, Probably what happened to this guy. Yeah. All right. They keep their box and gloves in their pouch, right? You forgot that one.

They do. Yeah. They pull them out and they're just covered in mucus. Yeah. So do you think the fact that the kangaroo had been tamed to be this person's pet is what is thought? Do you think that's probably why? Because it doesn't seem very normal for a kangaroo to have killed something and then kind of hang over the carcass because they're not, they wouldn't have eaten the, you know, the, Well, right?

It's really weird for it to have killed someone in the first place. Yeah. And then, yeah, for it to stick around too. Like, they're very much like a flight animal. When there's a predator or threat or anything, they're fast. They can do these really big jumps. They get away. And so for one to stick around and fight is really not common.

I have a theory. Yeah, let's hear it. I think just every single day this guy was trying to climb into its pouch. Yeah. That's what I finally just had enough. The kangaroo would give him one kick. Like, get the heck out of here, Skip. Yeah.

You know? The kangaroo's calling the other guy Skip. Yeah, he doesn't like being called Skip, so he'll call this guy Skip. I see it. Well, and he's a kangaroo, so the guy calls him Skip, and he just thinks everyone's called Skip in the world. Sure. Because they don't really understand words that way. You've thought this through.

But anyways, finally, this guy tries it again, and the kangaroo, he tries it twice. He tries it twice in one day, and he's always just been trying it once a day. And on the second time in the same day, the kangaroo just loses it. Okay. Just loses control. And then he feels bad afterwards, so he's guarding the guy because he overreacted. He overreacted. You know?

We've all been there. That's my theory. All right. Well, let me tell you the actual reasons that kangaroos do sometimes attack people besides people trying to crawl into their pouches. All right. Sometimes it's because their numbers, movements, or group structures have changed because they no longer have predators or new habitats been provided. Sometimes it's because they've lost their instinctive fear of humans because they've been fed or handled. Sometimes they see a person as a sparring partner or a threat to their offspring or their dominance. Sometimes it's because they're cornered or startled or sometimes it's because it's a female kangaroo that's weaning her young.

And I got all their information. You as that last one. I don't think so. I actually know for a fact it wasn't. I got all that information from the New South Wales government page on kangaroos. This one was almost for sure that it was just an habituated kangaroo that finally decided to lash out because the guy was trying to crawl into its pouch every single day. And he finally pushed his luck and did it twice.

All right. So that's our first story. Thanks everyone for sending that one to us. At some point, we're going to have a full-length episode. on kangaroos, but this one didn't really have that many details. So we're just, we're going to cut my first story. Yeah. And this is our first story.

Sure. Yeah. You just said that's our first story. Oh, I said that's my first story, didn't I? Uh-oh. We're going to have to do a huge correction corner this time. One of you is wrong. I'm so sorry.

It's going to be a lot of tension until we can clear that up. Hey, Wes, before we go to your story, Mike, West did a correction corner there. Yeah. And I need to do a correction corner from our last episode, too. Oh, okay. You want to do it now? Yeah. I kind of knew I could do a Donald Duck impersonation,

but I hadn't done it in forever, and it came off really bad. So I need to just redo that real quick. All right. Let's hear it. That's a lot better. Yeah. It kind of sounds like Donald Duck choking on his own bile. Or he's being drowned.

That's the problem is, I can't say words yet. Yeah, that's, you know, I'm like saying words, but they don't come out. Yeah, it made me picture someone holding him underwater. Yeah. There's Donald Duck underwater. All right, Mike, you got his stories for us? Yeah, I did. So for the, my first story, I wanted to revisit.

Give a little update on the macaque situation that I talked about last time in Yamaguchi, Japan. Yeah. So I... Monkey in Iran. Yeah. I got most of my information from Japan news as well as Mainichi.jee.j. So in late July this year, 2022, the situation had escalated to the point where the city decided that they needed to bring in a specialized unit to come and deal with all of these.

Well, so... Monkey SWAT. Yeah. The monkey SWAT team came in. They were deployed with all haste. They got like belts with bananas, like 10 bananas. like utility belts with bananas. Right.

So this specialized unit was actually able to capture one monkey that was believed to have been involved in at least one of the violent encounters that the people of the city had been going through. But it turns out, since last time, a quick update on this story, it's believed to be more of a monkey gang, as it's being referred to as now. And I'm not going to say terrorizing, but they're causing a fair amount of mischief in Yamaguchi. But two days after this special unit captured and unfortunately ended up having to euthanize this macaque, another one of the main perpetrators, another one of the monkeys, snuck into the living quarters of four Indonesian technical interns who were living in Japan at the time. And the monkey leapt at 29-year-old Gabriel Mauu, who held it down with his bare hands while the other three of the interns scrambled to help him out. So, uh, geez. The city issued as a reward. They gave them like a certificate of thanks as well as like a bunch of wagyu beef and apples, it says, which I thought was kind of nice.

But it turns out that after this monkey had been caught, the incidents have since stopped, which is great. They were the ringleaders. Yeah. So up to that point, around 66 injuries had been reported by city residents. So it was a lengthy and painful battle that these people had to go through. So you think the story ends there, right? Oh, I do. And it kind of does, but I did, I just, I needed to, I needed to talk about this next news story because it also involves a macaque who was causing mischief this time up in Fuji city, which is kind of central Japan.

So it's not a completely isolated macaque scenario that they had down in Yamaguchi. I love their pairs. Yeah, they're broaching into cities all over the place, apparently. Well, this is the second one that I saw reported. The same monkeys? Probably not, because that's, I don't know how many miles, kilometers away that this would have been. And they were euthanized. Yeah, that's most important.

Maybe they're ghosts. But they could have, like, their souls could have gotten into a different monkey. Yeah. It's the most likely explanation, I would say. So a woman was hanging out around Fujikawa Station, and she called in a report that a macaque was inside the station. just kind of getting up to no good, you know? So in response, the city hall dispatched three municipal employees and one hunting specialist, each equipped with tranquilizer rifles to capture this monkey.

So as they got onto the scene, and they were questioning this woman trying to get any information that they could out of her, one of these employees accidentally discharged to their gun, and in a scene straight out of old school, the tranked art shot out directly into the arm of the woman. And it just knocked her out, just completely. knocked her out cold. She was rushed to the hospital. Thankfully, she did wake up an hour later, and about an hour after waking up,

she gained full control over all her faculties. But the city issued an apology to her, of course, but the monkey remains at large. So developing situation up in Fuji City. This guy that helped us on the Black Bear Project, this old trapper guy, he was darting, he was going to dart a mountain lion, and the dart actually,

it accidentally went off and went into his leg. And it was like enough drug for a big male mountain lion and he almost died like he had a near death experience like saw his dead dad and was taking like one breath per minute and stuff and like had to be rushed to the hospital. It's pretty gnarly when you when you drug a human with the drug that you were trying to give an animal. It's it usually does a lot of damage. Yeah, he shouldn't just he shouldn't disorder with that.

You shouldn't. Hopefully in a city gave her a lot of apples. Yeah. Seriously. All right. Okay, that's it. That's it for your monkeying around. Okay.

I'm going to go to my big one. Okay. So this one's called chomping gators. So this happened in Lakeland. So it's like the Lakeland area in Florida. A disc golfer was found in the morning in the mouth of an alligator. And the person said that he was on a walk with his dogs and he saw an alligator with what he thought was a tire in its mouth, and then he got closer and saw that it was a corpse.

Oh. And he was trying to get into a storm sewer and then started doing death rolls to try to fit this body through, like, this storm game. Oh, my gosh. The first sighting of this corpse is like an alligator deathrolling it to get it through a storm sewer, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

So he calls authorities, and they euthanized this alligator, and they weren't positive if it's the right alligator but then they'd like do the autopsy on it and find remains of the person inside of it and then they were having a really hard time figuring out who the person was because it ended up being a homeless man that lived in the area so like it's just harder to find contacts for him and like identification and all that but it was richard zachary taylor who's 72 and yeah had no permanent um address. He is identified by his fingerprints. And yeah, this one was sent to me by a listener who lived in the area and I don't have their name on me. So whoever it was, you should have got your shout out on Tooth and Claw this episode, but you didn't because I blew it. But I was looking for

more details on it. And guess what source gave me the most details? Oh, was it the New York Post again? Reddit. Oh, okay. And not only Reddit, but the R. Disgoth Reddit. Oh, wow. Okay. Mike, are you on there? Yeah, I got to monitor my enemies closely. How active is that subreddit?

There's 217,000 people. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Misguided souls. And like a lot of them knew this guy somehow, too. Oh, yeah. And like, before I get into it, I want to give you a note from the, so I was reading about it on NBC News and just to give you like an idea of what I was working through here with how vague these

articles were. It said, Florida Fish and Wildlife said in a statement, our sincere condolences go out to the family and friends of the deceased. The park is home to a disc golf course where flying discs are thrown into baskets. As in golf, the player who needs the fewest number of throws to put a disc in each basket along the course wins. Some park regulators said WFLA isn't unusual to see people fishing in the water for discs that went off course, despite the park's warning that suggests mortal danger

could exist below the surface. So I was a C average student, and I know when you have a minimum amount of words that you need at least when I see it, and that's definitely them, like, feeling in a very different. Just a few extra words. A little filibuster action. Yeah. That was my entire life as an English student. Yeah, but so basically I start digging in through articles and like this guy would like go swim in the ponds and collect discs off the bottom of the water.

And then sell them. Yeah, and then he'd sell them for about $5. And he'd give you a really cheap deal if he found your disc. So I started reading, the listeners told me this, and then I started reading it on the disc off subreddit as well. He was just a cool dude who like, I guess he had some type of cancer or something. God, this just gets saddered. Here, I'm just going to read you the top comment. Sadly, from what I know about the guy who is likely the one I'm thinking of, this is the top comment on Reddit.

He knew all the risk and didn't really care considering his situation. He had some sort of terminal illness that only gave him a couple more years and also suffered from seizures. He ended up unemployed because of his condition and was trying to get in the disability program. He used the money from disc diving to be able to fill his prescriptions while hoping to get government assistance. I don't believe he was actively suicidal or anything, but I don't think he really had any fear over this being how he went out. And that's what the listener said too, like the guy didn't, like, he knew he might get eaten by an alligator and he didn't really care. That just shows, like, how messed up our system is. Like, the fact that, like...

You, like, have to dive with alligators for free to golf discs? An unhoused dude that has a serious medical condition needs to, like, yeah, dive around alligators to make enough money to pay for his pills that he needs to live. And then the person who starts... Started the Reddit post and a few other people, like, confirmed, like, this is him. He told me a similar story. Oh, okay. Man. It just, this whole Reddit thread has honestly, like, a hundred people who knew who this guy was.

Yeah. And, like, would buy discs from him and stuff. So it's, like, crazy to me that, like, there's so many people who have played this disc golf course. And they're, like, all saying that they've, like, thrown discs in this pond before. Yeah. And then. in 2020 there was a disc golfer who was trying to get his disc out he just threw it a little bit in and he was like bending over to grab his disc and then alligator bid his face oh my gosh so they're

they're in there maybe if you're if you're dis golfing in florida i think they figured it at yeah just let your disc go if you're disc golfing in florida and it lands in a pond yeah i i have friends that don't go disc golfing yeah i have friends that work with alligators in Florida. And they say that pretty much, especially in southern Florida, like you need to treat every waterway as if it's occupied by alligators because there's a good chance that it is. And that's just like a kind of a rule of thumb for South Florida

and parts of Florida that have lots of alligators. Just assume that there's alligators in there because there probably are. And yeah, in places like that, too, they're pretty habituated usually. Like, I bet some of those disc golfers fed that alligator. Like I would, I'd be shocked if they didn't. So it's, that's a sad one. When I saw that one this summer, I was like, man, that one's just such a bummer. Yeah, that, and to be honest, that one happened in June.

I just came upon it recently. But I wanted to read three comments on the same thread. Okay. So follow me here. I played in Florida two times. If it went in the water, I wouldn't even approach the edge. I would just move on to the next hole. From Louisiana, I've seen Gators attack.

on the water's edge. Nope, nope, nope, and nope. Then the next comment says, from Mountain Gator, I lived in Florida for nine years. Mike, you could put in a, that's nothing before that, probably. I lived in Florida for nine years. Honestly, gators are the least of your worries. There are a thousand different venomous snakes in and around the water.

and they are much more commonly found than gators. I'm picturing a gator typing that comment, being like, actually, you should go get your discs. Yeah, gators astroturfing this. I just love like the one-uping there too. Yeah, yeah. That's nothing. There's thousands of venomous snakes.

And then the reply to that is, grew up in southeast Louisiana myself. The gators down there are no jesus. joke. We had a pond near my house that was home to about 50. I live in the mountains now, far from any gaiters, but I still won't even consider going in or near any murky pond. That guy maybe needs a psychologist. Yeah. That's pretty funny. If you live in the mountains, you can go in the ponds. I'm going to just put that out there.

Yeah, but phobias aren't always rational. That's true. You said this place was Steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your oceanfront room.

Just steps from the water. The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. Um, okay. Well, yeah, there's my story.

All right. Speaking of kind of depressing things that we find when we do these news episodes, I'm like 10 for 10 on every single time we do this. I do, like, how I usually find mine is I do like a Google search and I'll put like bear attack. And then I click on the news tab to see what's happened. And every single time, there's multiple tiger attacks. It just never fails. there's always a few. Yeah, every single time I've found them.

They're like the Steph Curry of attacks. They are. And there's always one that's like this week too. Like they've always, there's some fresh ones. But there's one that a lot of people sent us this one as well. It was kind of an interesting story because it's another one that is like a mother displaying superhuman strength to save her child. So this one takes place in the Rohania village in the central Indian state of Madhian. Pradesh, no, Rhania.

In old elvish, that sounds like that's right. A lot of these attacks do happen in India when it's tigers. They have about 70% of the world's tiger population, so it's likely that if you hear about a tiger attack, it's probably in India. There's also a lot of people there, so there's a lot of human wildlife conflict. Anyway, Archana Chowdhari was 25,

and she'd taken her one-year-old son, Rav Iaraj, outside to relieve himself. so he need to pee or poop or whatever, and she took him out of their hut to relieve himself. They're in a really rural area, and a tiger jumps out of the bushes and attacks them while they're doing that. And the tiger actually grabbed this one-year-old baby, sunk its claws into its head, and then started dragging him away from the mom. And the mom just like went in full mom mode. She attacked the cat. She started kicking it and hitting it and grabbed her son and was pulling it away from the tiger.

And as she was doing this, the tiger's like swiping at her. and at her child, and she used her bare hands to, like, punch it in the face and kick it. And as she was doing that, it shifted its focus to her and started attacking her. And it actually attacked her so badly that one of its claws punctured her lung. So, I mean, it was like... That's not good. That's not good. That's a check engine light.

Yeah. So the fight's continuing for a few minutes before some other villagers came to a rescue. And when that happened... She punches its lung with her claws. She used her claws. But the tiger, when these other villager showed up, the tiger retreated back into the bush. Both mother and child were taken to a medical facility with severe injuries. They actually thought that she was going to die, but they managed to stabilize her.

The one-year-old kid had large wounds on his head, and then she had deep wounds in her abdomen and a punctured lung. A little bit about this place. She made it. They both made it. They both made it. Yeah. Oh, good. That village is really close to the band Havargar.

I practice saying this, but I can't say it. Band Havargar, Tiger Reserve. Sorry, I can't do it. But it's a tiger reserve that has a really high density of tigers. But in India, like throughout India right now, they're having a lot of wildlife conflict, a lot of prey species for tigers are becoming less and less common. So tigers are being forced to look at alternative sources of prey,

which humans sometimes are. And that's especially common for tigers that have been pushed out of their natural habitat for some reason or a tiger that's maybe old or infirm or has some kind of malady. But we talk about that a lot with animals, like what causes an animal to start hunting humans. I do think tigers are one of the few animals that we kind of are a food source for them. If I were to pick like an animal, if you were to say, name the animals that are man eaters, crocodiles would probably be number one and tigers would be number two. I just think that they are an animal that sometimes just decides to eat people.

It's not usually like mistaken identity or whatever. Sometimes they just decide to eat us. And if you live in a place close to tigers, you're taking that risk. Where do you think people are on that list? As far as like man eaters. Yeah. We're probably pretty high on it. Dommer.

Have you heard of the liver king yet? No. he's like this guy that lives in new york that like just eats liver from animals and that's like and he doesn't wear a shirt and he doesn't wipe when he poops he's all about being primal what but uh i was watching an interview i think you buried the lead on that a little bit i was watching interview to a they do like the bar stool like sunday interview things and they were interviewing him and he was like, have you ever ate a person's testicles? And he said, yeah.

And then he said that he's like ate his mentor after the guy died. So he waited until he was dead to eat him. That's still a crime though, right? I think so. I don't think you can do that. I don't know. He's getting pretty famous just so that's now. Well.

You should Google him what he looks like. I will. I'll look him up. Oh, is he like that super ripped guy with the huge? beard and everything. Oh, yeah. The biggest guy. He's holding, in one of these photos, he's holding what must be like an elephant liver.

It's massive. In an interview, they asked him what his biggest fear is, and he said that, like, he wouldn't be able to eat liver anymore for some reason. He very staunchly rejects any accusation that he's taking steroids, and it's just like, dear, come on. This dude is huge. Yeah. And then he just like sells pills in his super rich.

It's like how primal are pills, dude. Why doesn't he wipe when he poops? What does that have to do with anything? Because he eats so much liver that his poop comes out so nice that he doesn't have to wipe. Oh yeah, a phantom poop. That sounds really nice, actually. There's a lot of fiber in it. Wait, does liver have fiber?

That's what he says. All right. Well, I'm done with my story. This really threw me off. Yeah. Mike, you got anything? I do. I was going to do my depressing story, but after two in a row, though, are a little heavy, I'm going to switch over to my other ones.

So I'm taking you guys back to Japan, if that's okay. Is that okay? Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Okay, so this story, it comes from Japan Times and The Guardian both reported on this. That's where I got most of my info. In the Fukui Prefecture, there's been a spate of dolphin attacks. Following a recent rash of violent encounters starting earlier this summer, 2022,

beachgoers at Kosheno Beach and Fukui City are being told to stay away from dolphins. According to the Fukui municipal government, since the beginning of summer, there have been at least 10 cases of dolphins biting or ramming swimmers. And on one particularly violent day, it resulted in two men being bitten just hours apart from each other, both needed to be taken to the hospital to be treated for it. Really, dolphin bites do some damage, huh? They got sharp little teeth, yeah. Yeah.

A little peg teeth. So a bunch of other similar incidents have been reported over the past several months, leading authorities to believe that this might be the work of a singular, let me just get this right, Indo-Pacific bottlenose dolphin. And so I just don't know because the last story with the macaque, They also thought that that was a single macaque going around attacking. So I don't know how much stock you want to put into that. I was going to say Japan wins the award for letting a single animal just terrorize people for months and months.

Just won Godzilla. They bring the macaque special unit over and just make them a dolphin special unit now. Shoot the beachgoers with trink guns. You know, maybe this is revenge from the dolphins because, you know, isn't it in Japan where they slaughter? Oh, yeah. Like thousands of dolphins every year? Like daily, probably. Dolphins fight back.

An interesting thing to note is that each of these encounters that have been reported all happened within 10 meters of the shore, which is how many feet, Jeff? How many buses? Meters is tricky for him. 10 meters. It's about 30 feet. It sounds like a bus. One bus, yeah, probably. Around one bus.

So this is a sign that the dolphins probably just grown much too accustomed to being close to people because it's, you know, coming this. close to shore and typically i don't know west you can correct me if i'm wrong but typically dolphins are more flight it just depends like a single dolphin maybe a pot of dolphins might engage but yeah i mean generally any wild animal is going to like try and get away from people almost all animals are flight so yeah you're right that was that was my reaction when you started telling the story was like it's weird that they have to tell people to stay away from dolphins yeah yeah because like why like why would you be able to get close to dolphins? I'm guessing again, like, it's probably a fed dolphin.

People had probably been going out there and feeding or playing with this dolphin, and then when it stopped, it got aggressive, you know? How bad do you think it hurt to get rammed by a dog? A lot. I think it would hurt really bad. Yeah. They can go so fast. Right in your groin.

And, like, all that pressure is just, like, in the pinpoint of their nose. It would really hurt. I mean, they can, like, knock sharks unconscious and stuff. Like... What? Yeah. They can kill sharks by ramming them. Their nose is like the one finger death punch thing that like, what is it,

eat men from one inch away. Or in Kill Bill at the end. They do the Kill Bill where they hit you five times fast and you die. Yeah. So a beach house operator that had been working this specific beach. Okay. But he said he'd been working at this beach for over 40 years. And there before this summer had never been a case.

where the dolphins had been coming so close to people. So in response to these encounters, officials tried installing these little machines underneath the water that emit ultrasonic sound waves to repel dolphins away from the shore. And it just hasn't worked at all. There have been more reported encounters since they did that. And realizing that it's just not safe at all to be in the water, the police and the city officials just been like going around the beach

with little pamphlets handing them out, being like, hey, we urge you to not get in the water anymore. and maybe to not even come to the beach. It's like Jaws. It's the dolphin version of Jaws. It really is. These stories that you've told so far, Mike, make me want to just move to Japan

and get hired as like a wildlife conflict specialist. Be like a hero. I feel like they just need someone there that just is ready to... It just feels like... I don't know. To me it feels like they probably have more animal rights, which is weird since they do kill like a billion dolphins a year. But, like, here we would just, like, go kill the dolphin.

Probably. Unless they're protected. And then maybe that's, like, more problematic. Yeah. I will mention in that tiger story, that tiger, they didn't kill it. Like, they pushed it back into the forest because they are protected, which really surprised me. Yeah. And I do think that sometimes an animal, because of its protected status, they just can't do it.

And those macaques are probably that way. I don't know about dolphins. The dolphins could be. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. at the end of it. I'll just wrap this up real quick.

Okay. One last encounter I did want to cite was in late August, another man, this one, he was 60 years old roundabout. He was bitten on the arm by a dolphin when he was swimming less than 15 feet away from the shore. He told the paper that he had tried to pry the dolphin's mouth open and off of his arm, and it just wasn't budging at all. So he started panicking.

He gave a quote that said, it refused to let go of his arm. and it was trying to force itself on top of him, and it nearly pushed him all the way under the water. He panicked, but was saved when someone nearby drove it away. And he said, I'd heard about the dolphin on the news and was going to get out of the water immediately if I saw it. But by the time I noticed, it was right next to me.

Is it true that dolphins, like, rape people? I don't think that's the right, like, word. I mean, it'd be, like, saying, like, when a dog, like, humps you, I would just say, like, they're very, like, sexual animals, and they sometimes see a person as, like, an object of sexual desire, so they'll hump people. And I think, like, for a swimmer or something that's in a really foreign environment, it's hard to repel a dolphin that's humping you. So it's, yeah, it's, like, very, yeah. But I don't know if I'd use the R word for that. Precious bear spray won't work underwater there, Wes.

Yeah. Checkmate. That's true. Checkmate dog. Well, they have to come up to breathe so you could just wait. True. Just blast it right in their blowhole. Oh, man.

Yeah. That'd be so effective probably. Until they blow it back out at you. That's true. Blowing ad budget on metrics that look great, till the CFO sees them, that's bulls bend. And marketers are calling it out in. Dashboard, Confessions.

I remember telling my boss, it'll be good for the brand when leads were slow. Yeah, it wasn't. Cut the bowl spend. LinkedIn lets you target by company, job title, and more. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 on your first campaign and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash campaign, terms and conditions apply. All right.

Jeff, you got any more? Yeah, so I'm just going to give you two quickies here. This one happened August 8th, and is a 22-year-old man named Govind Mishra. and he was in Behar, India. But anyways, he went back home to Bahar, India to visit his older brother's funeral and pay his last respects. And his older brother just died from a venomous snake bite. Now, I looked through a ton of articles. They all said the exact same thing because whenever there's, or not whenever, but a lot of times with animal stories from India,

there's just not a lot of details and all the articles say the exact same thing. Yeah. So this is how this one was. So I'm not going to have the species of snake. I can tell you a couple of culprits. It would be very likely. There was like four that it could have been from what I mean. Yeah.

Spectacled cobra, Russell's Viper, Common Crate are the three big ones that are like, yeah, it was probably one of those three. Probably a spectacled cobra or a Russell's viper. But anyway, so this guy, he goes home to like pay respect to his brother. Pays Respect says his final things at the funeral, and then a few hours later gets bit by a venomous snake in his bed. No way. And dies. What?

Jeez. And then another family member was also bit by a snake. Oh, no. And was in critical condition but pulled through. Did they let Suraj out of prison? What? Remember our story? The guy that killed his wife with venomous snakes.

He's like trying to kill all these. getting away with it again. Yeah. Yeah. And that's where like police were super vague about the story and like said that they like weren't going. They said though that there didn't think any criminal conduct had taken place. There are, I mean, India has like, I want to say it's 50,000 deaths per year from snake bite, which is pretty insane. Like that's a wild number when you think about it. And there are places in India where it's much more common than others.

So it could just be that, you know, or it could have been like a drought and all these snakes. Yeah. Apparently. It could have been a drought and all these snakes are going toward water sources that are close to homes. It could be, you know, they lost some habitat so they're looking for new habitat. Who knows, but. Maybe they're hoarders and there's just a bunch of snakes in their house. Yeah.

They can't see them because they got a bunch of stuff. Or it's something genetic, like their legs look particularly tasty to snakes or something. I don't think these snakes we're trying to eat. Toes look like mice. And that is something I want to bring up really quick. Like, again, with our snake bites, our venomous snake bites, it's almost always a defensive bite. Like a person steps somewhere where there's a snake or puts their hands somewhere where there's a snake or corners a snake somehow or tries to pick one up or something. So these aren't, this isn't a snake trying to eat someone.

It's a snake biting someone because it's scared. The Govind one, he was asleep. Yeah, he could have rolled over though or moved in his sleep. Like they don't bite people that are sleeping unless again they're like scared. But I'm just saying it sucks for him. It does suck. Yeah. Well, don't sleep in India.

I love it. Another headline that, you know, this one could just be like a dumb headline that it's not really that much people. But something I learned, did you know that the queen RIP, Queen Elizabeth was on like the $5 money? in Australia. I assume she was on some note in Australia, yeah. So she was on the five, and now they're going to change it to King Charles III. And so they have to, like, switch out all their money. He's got those big old sausage fingers and might be a pedophile.

So, like, the people in Australia are kind of like, I don't know about having him on our money. So there's a big push to put Steve Irwin on the money. Oh, God, that would be so cool. So for our Australian listeners, go vote. Get out for a vote. Whichever candidate says they'll put Steve Irwin on your money, vote for them. Regardless as their politics. Doesn't matter what else there.

The single issue voter. All right. So this is a quick one. This week, actually, a nine-year-old boy was mauled by a grizzly bear in Alaska while hunting. He was with some kind of adult male relative. The articles didn't specify who. that was. They were hunting moose north of Anchorage, and they surprised a female grizzly and a cub. The grizzly and cub charged this boy. They mauled the boy and the adult relative.

While the bear was actually mauling the boy, though, the older guy who was 41 managed to shoot the bear and killed it. Both hunters sustained injuries, but the boy's injuries were much more substantial. He was placed in critical care, but as of September 21st, he was listed as stable. Authorities in Alaska are looking for the cub. The mom was killed. The cub ran on. They're going to euthanize it if they find it. I personally don't think they would have to. There's been some studies that show that cubs, even really young cubs, can survive or maybe make it. And it's not like this cub did anything outside of its natural behavior.

A female grizzly charging someone because they surprised it isn't like a rare thing. And this is something I just wanted to bring up really quick. If any of you out there are hunters, if you're planning on going out and hunting this fall in grizzly country, you are at a much higher risk of grizzly attack than pretty much any other segment of the population. And that's because you're sneaking around, you're trying to be really quiet, you're like trying to cover up your scent, you're doing everything that you shouldn't do in grizzly country. And so for that reason, a lot of hunters do get mauled by grizzlies. It's not a lot, but like a much higher percentage than probably any other demographic.

And so carry bear spray if you're hunting in grizzly country and be ready to use it, because it does happen to hunters more often than anyone else. Cool. All right. Mike? Because they can't wear bear bells because they're scared of them. Right, they'll scare all their animals away. Yeah.

Okay, so this is my last story. And bear bells don't work. This is the bull shark, the bull shark attack that happened. Bullshark? Bullshark attack that resulted in a fatality down in the Bahamas earlier this month, early in September. Caroline Di Placito was vacationing with her family down in the Bahamas. They were on a cruise liner that eventually reached the destination. I think it was Nassau where they, I don't know, do cruise liners drop anchor?

Does that what they do? Something like that. They come to port. I don't know. Yeah. They made port at Nassau. And instead of hanging around the cruise ship for the day, Caroline and her family decided to split off from the rest of the boat and the people and do their own thing and hired the third-party snorkeling tour operation that took him to nearby Rose Island, which is a really popular,

really beautiful spot to do snorkeling. So after what I imagine was a really nice morning of snorkeling with the family, at around 2 p.m., Caroline's family saw her being attacked by what was quickly identified as a bull shark. They were able to pull her out of the water. It sounded like pretty quickly, but by then the damage had already been done, and she sustained just massive injuries to the left side of her body, particularly the upper extremities, it said. And by the time the tour operators and her family were able to get her to the hospital, she was showing no signs, no vital signs of life. So that on arrival, unfortunately.

And this, I don't know, I don't regret doing this, but it was a really hard thing to do. I went in search of her obituary just to kind of like, I don't know, it seemed like the right thing to do to get the human element of the story down right. By the way, this is from BBC News where I got most of my information for this story, but it was widely reported. She was the project coordinator of the Office of Community and Government Relations at Gannon University, and the university officials, all of these people that worked with her, they released a statement that said, Caroline was a powerful presence of kindness and friendship to colleagues, students, and the wider community and cherished many family ties to Gannon.

The news is devastating and she will be missed. And the obituary went on to say just like the most glowing review of a human being you could ever see. Just an amazing mother, amazing wife, amazing colleague. And it's just like, I don't want to take away from like the heavy nature of this story. But I also do want to reiterate. We say this all the time that on a bad year, maybe 10 people are dying from shark attacks every year. Right. You know, this is like,

The odds of this happening are so infinitesimally small that I know it's easy to say, don't worry about it because these things stick in your mind and this one's going to stick in mine. But again, like, I think our whole point here is to prepare people to where like they don't have to worry about it, but they're prepared for it, you know? So if you are out snorkeling in the Bahamas and you see a bull shark, you know what to do, which is like keep forward facing the shark, try and keep something in between you and the shark.

Don't panic. Don't splash. do whatever you can to face it. And if it comes toward you, push it away. But like, I feel for you reading that obituary, because on a lot of the stories that I research, I kind of have to, like, stop once I start reading about the person's, like, personal life connections and what they've done,

because it's hard. Like, it's hard. I'm not saying it's hard to realize they're real people. We obviously realize that. But it's hard not to get a little connected to people when you're talking about this kind of thing. Yeah. So.

I got to know if she's reading that stuff. Yeah. I'll just send him over to you. Jeff is ice cold. You are right, though. Like, we do so much more to sharks than they do to us, like, by magnitudes and magnitudes. Yeah. Where would you rank bull sharks as far as, like, the most dangerous bowl?

They're top three. Great Whites are number one. You're answering the wrong question. Oh, most dangerous bull? Yeah. I would say... Bullfrog, bull shark, bowls. Bulldog?

I'd say, I would say they're... No dog. Serial bowl. I put them after bulls are more dangerous. Well, I don't know. Like, you could talk about like bull elk, bull bison. There's a lot of bulls. I feel like with bulls, though, like if we didn't run away from them in a narrow street or ride them.

Yeah, I'm sure. And they wouldn't kill anyone. There's probably still more people they get killed by him even just like by accident every year than bull sharks. But I would say they're the scariest of all the bulls, bull sharks. Bull frogs don't kill people? I don't think so. So I've dove, I mean, I went out in Florida and like did open water diving with bull sharks. And it was like one of the most peaceful, amazing experiences of my life, surrounded by bull sharks, like a dozen of them all around me.

And because I was with someone who really understood their behavior, because I felt like I somewhat understood their behavior, it could be like a controlled environment sort of thing. But you do just need to be prepared when you enter the water. It's just something that you need to keep in mind. It's a foreign environment. And that's actually a perfect segue for my new segment that I created. So I noticed this month as I was preparing some of these news stories. I saw some headlines that were like very sensationalized and very clickbaity. Just want you to click on the article, even though it really like demonizes the animal.

And the animal really didn't do anything wrong at all. And I really hate that. It's such a pet peeve for me because it creates this culture of fear. It makes people think that animals are bloodthirsty monsters. And it's really bad for animals. Like it really is. It gives people a negative perception and then they don't care about conservation. So my new segment is like to take these headlines, I'm going to read you the headline.

I'm going to give you a brief synopsis of the story. And then I'm going to rework that headline into, I think, a more fair one for the animals. And I just, I want to like start with a little disclaimer. I don't think animal life is more important than human life. I really don't. But sometimes it is just way too skewed on these articles. Okay. The first one, woman 64, ambushed, dragged underwater, and nearly drowned by turtle.

All right. So this story involves a 64-year-old Russian woman who is on vacation in Turkey. She was swimming on her back about 10 feet from shore. when a large loggerhead turtle bit into her 64-year-old butt and dragged her down. It tried to drag her underwater. She tried to stay afloat. It released its grip just to bite again. And then a man rushed into the water to help.

He caused the turtle to release its grip. He got bit in the process as well. She suffered wounds on her butt, her hip, her legs, and her fingers. She, after this said she's never going in the ocean again, which to me probably seems like a good idea for her, at least. As far as loggerhead turtles are concerned, they can weigh as much as a cow is what this article said. That's not really common. A baby cow.

A baby cow. It's like 100 or 200 pounds for a big loggerhead turtle. They're very widespread. They're one of the more common species in the world. They're still listed as vulnerable. Thousands of them are killed every year as by catch. So I'm reworking this article. So the headline.

So the first, again, the original headline is woman 64, ambushed, dragged under water, and nearly drowned by turtle. My new headline is Human Woman Visits Completely Foreign Environment and is bitten by Curious Turtle who lives there full time. All right. I wouldn't click. So she's a human woman and the turtle was bicarious? No. It bit her because it was curious. Oh, I thought you're saying sexually biurious.

That's why it went for the butt. I for sure would click on Jeff's headline. This summer serve up the cookout classics, Heinz ketchup, and Kraft Singles. Every good burger needs a layer of perfectly melty cheese and thick rich ketchup. We all know it's not a cookout without Heinz and Kraft. Okay, my next one, Oklahoma boy, four, needed five bags of anti-venom after rattlesnake attack. Okay, so a four-year-old's playing in his yard in Oklahoma when he's bitten by a pygmy rattlesnake on his foot. His mom rushes to him the hospital where he's given five bags of anti-venom.

I have no idea what that means. He ends up making a full recovery Yeah, I don't know. Who knows? He ends up making a full recovery after two hospital visits. Like I guess they discharged him and then they noticed his blood count was a little low, so they took him back. And right after the bite, the mom found the rattlesnake and killed it. So again, the headline is Oklahoma Boy 4 needed five bags of anti-venom after rattlesnake attack.

I'm guessing that means like five doses, which is a normal amount. Can they put it in like an IV bag? Probably. Yeah. All right. So I have two alternative headlines for this one. First one, smallest species of rattlesnake busy removing pests from Oklahoma yard

when it defends itself from giant predator and pays with its life. My second one is human boy receives average amount of anti-venom after stepping on local snake in its natural habitat. Snake murdered for being stepped on. I like that second one. That felt fair. My third one here is frightening video shows Python trying to aggressive. bite man who was trying to feed it.

So this one is like total clickbait. It's just a dude in a video like he's got a captive reticulated python. He opens a door to feed it and it like lunges out. It goes on the ground and he like throws at the chicken. He was trying to feed it and it eats it. It's very normal. Any keeper that has like a python has seen this a thousand times. It's like the snake knows its feeding schedule.

It knows that when their keeper comes to the gate, it's like about to be fed. So it's like excited to eat. So my alternative headline is captive snake shows natural behavior and aggressively tries to eat food that it's being fed. All right. My last one, breastfeeding BC woman saves pet goose from eagle attack. No notes on this one. It's totally accurate. This woman is breastfeeding.

She's breastfeeding your baby. An eagle attacks her pet goose. She runs out, uh, topless to try and stop it. It's a great video. You should look up. Oh, there's a video. Does she still have the baby? Like, she's holding the baby, like, on her boob.

That's awesome. And she runs out to chase this eagle off of her pet goose. Like a French. You know those paintings of, like, the French Revolution where there's always a topless woman just, like, flailing around? Or, like, the Maryland's flag. Maryland's flag? Oh, Maryland's. Yeah, they have, like, a topless lady.

Oh, do they? Yeah. All right. That's it for my headlines. Virginia. Maryland has that really crazy flag with, like, all the weird. Likeer marking and yeah. Oh yeah, you're right.

The Virginia flag has the like the little, the lady in the kite thing. And she's like just murdered somewhat. Nice. Yeah. That's sweet. All right. On to categories. We're going to just burn through these ones.

All right. So first let's do favorite viral video you saw recently. Okay. Is it animal viral video or any viral video? Yeah, animal viral video. Okay. I saw one that happened earlier this summer, but it's kind of, kind of like made the rounds again.

It's this guy riding his bike on the side of the road in India. And all of a sudden a leopard like pounces on him and knocks him off his bike. And he's lucky that like a car drives by right at that moment. And I think that car is enough to scare the leopard off of him. So the leopard leaves him alone and runs back into the bush. But it was like a close call for this dude. And it's a really cool video just to see how this leopard appears out of nowhere and grabs this guy. Mike, what you got?

So mine is the recent one that made the rounds about the parents putting their little girl on a sea lion's back. And sometimes there are videos where you're like, I could see like a moment you lapse judgment, you do something kind of dumb. I get it. With this one, it's like I would never in a million years do that to my child, you know? And you just know the parents who like would make that decision are the same people who would like be mad at the sea lion after? Yeah. Yeah. Like, you bit my kid.

Yeah. All right, I'm going to do two real quick. There's one in California where a bear, like, walked into a little convenience store. That is a good one. And then I really appreciated it because it went straight for the Reese's and then took off. And like, that's the best candy. Mike, Reese's still don't taste good, do you? No.

But back when they did, because of COVID. My favorite candy was, like, the big cup, like the big fat Reese's cups. Oh, man. It probably got those ones, right? I think I was getting the king-sized wreaths. And then there was in India, Assam India, this elephant, like, went into an elementary school and was just, like, walking through the halls. Do you see that, Mike? No, I didn't see that one.

Oh, really? I put it on tooth and claw Instagram story. Oh, did you? Yeah. I have a hard time with Instagram. I'm sorry. I just didn't matter. I try.

I really do. Can you imagine being in elementary school and just, like, seeing an elephant while? by your classroom. Best day. Pretty crazy. Yeah, it would be crazy. You go home and your parents are like, what did you learn today? And you'd be like, I saw an elephant.

And they'd be like, oh, okay, sure you did. I think in India they might be like. Oh, okay. Yeah, so did we. Okay, we're going to do a really quick one that we found on Twitter. So this person, Nathan W. Peel on Twitter was... Pyle. He's like the author of the Strange Planet Comics.

He wants to know in a five-on-five soccer tournament, which team of animals would win? And then you can only use emojis. Oh, okay. So real quick, we're going to do that. So, like, look up your emojis. We'll go in order of age, so Wes, Mike, and then me. And we're just going to start picking. Okay, my first pick is the elephant.

On your soccer team. Yes. There's videos of elephants playing soccer, right? I don't know. But I'm just parking them in front of the goal. Mike, who you got? I'm going to use an orangutan and goal. It's a good pick.

I'm going to go with the grizzly bear, but I'm taking those Russian hockey bears because they already know how to score goals in hockey. Can I change my first pick really quick? Nope, nope. We're going to keep burning through it. It's your pick, though, so go. Okay, I guess I'll pick a whale, and I'm just dropping him as a defender in front of the goalie, too.

So the whales just spread out, like, on the, kind of on the, like, box. The whale's going to die eventually, though, and you can't just have a dead player on the field. No, I can. He's just going to stay there. How long will do beached whales live? Do they live for a while? We have someone on our team that just has a hose that's spraying him down, and then he'll live for a long time. That sounds like cheating.

But, okay. So my second pick is going to be a camel. You got to stay hydrated, and I think they're going to be able to go the distance midfielder. Oh, yeah, you got like the long, at the end of the game, it's going to be using the reserves in its hump. Exactly. I'm going to go with the alligator, just with the tail. I knew you. It's going to do a steamer.

This isn't baseball, Jeff. This is soccer. All right. So you admit they'd be good at baseball. My third pick is the bald eagle. We don't have any rules against flying animals here. It can just pick up that soccer ball and just deliver it right into the goal. So he's my.

Can't use your hands. It can use its feet. And that's its feet. Its hands are its wings. Yeah. Okay, Mike Okay, I'm gonna go with a big horn Sheep and it'll be a defensive specialist

Just ramming people like a bludgeon. What do they call them in Harry Potter? Well, and corner kicks for like a header. Oh yeah, that's a good, yeah. Is there a big horn sheep emoji? Well, a ram. Is there a ram? Yeah, there's a ram. I'm going with a puffer fish. Okay. And like you're gonna think you're going to, it's going to be my goalie.

And you're going to think you have like an open goal. and then it's going to blow up and like block your shot. I would pick it but use it as like a decoy so the other team thinks it's the ball and then I just sneak around the other side while they're trying to kick the puffer fish. I'm on my fourth pick and I'm picking the T-Rex as my fourth pick. That's a good pick. Yeah. And it's just going to do whatever it wants, but that's my fourth pick.

I'll go with Cheetah as my striker. Get some speed. I'm going with the octopus because. You got to use your legs and it has eight of them. It just seems smart. Okay. Yeah. I think my last pick is going to be the Silverback gorilla.

Intelligent, fast, agile, strong, kind of everything I want in an overall player. Yeah, like team captain kind of. Mike? Let's go with a... I got such a good last pick. Shoot, I'm going to blow it here. I know. I'll go with a pig.

You got any reasons? Yeah. Good team leader if you got like babe. Yeah, well like animal farm. They take over the farm, get all the other animals like killed and stuff. I just thought of the best one. You guys are both going to be so bad. Yeah, I'm going to go with pig.

What's yours, Jeff? Okay, so bumping pufferfish is no longer my goalie. You said we can't do that. I wanted to put a whale in at my goalie, and you said I couldn't change my pick. I'm not changing it. Oh, you're just changing your lineup? Position. Okay.

Then my whale's. My goalie. Yeah, I thought we allowed that. I didn't think so, but that's fine. You can change it. Well, spider is my goalie. Okay. And it's just going to make a spider web across the entire goal.

That's so good. None of the balls can go in. Well, that's going to have to be a pretty strong spider web to stop my T-Rex from scoring. Or elephant. I hope you have Shilob as your spider. So, let's, Wes, you want to say yours? Yes. You remember them?

A whale, an elephant, an eagle, a T-Rex. and a silver-packed gorilla. Good picks all around. I took a camel and orangutan, a pig, a cheetah, and a ram. I have a terrible team, guys. I really don't be a poor. Really poor job. I don't even remember all of mine.

Okay. You have octopus, puffer fish, spider, and then, oh, yeah, alligators. It's going to hit heaters. No. And then I forget my first pick. What was my first pick? It was your goalie, and it was... No, my first pick wasn't goalie.

Oh, okay. I don't remember your first pick. Oh, yeah, it is a grizzly bear that plays hockey. Yeah, that's right. All right. Well, I won. Yeah, I think Wes. Yeah, we don't even need to play...

All right. Jeff, do you got any listener questions for us? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, while Jeff's looking those up, I wanted to say something really quick. Recently, we've been getting a lot of reviews from people that listen to the podcast National Park After Dark. And, you know, I am a big fan of that podcast, so I was really thrilled that they shouted us out.

We're going to do some collaboration with them soon. But welcome all you new listeners. Thanks so much to the ladies over at National Park After Dark for shouting us out. There's a real mutual love between our two podcasts, so we're excited to work with them. Also, I recently did an episode with Too Scary Didn't Watch, which was really fun. We recapped Anaconda, which I hadn't actually watched in a long time,

and I forgot how silly that movie is. All three of us were on High and Mighty, and then I did an episode of Fright Day with my friend Kelly and her friend Byron, which is out too. So that's kind of a little podcast roundup of stuff we're doing outside of our podcast. Okay, I'm ready. You guys ready for listener questions? Yep.

Okay, from Patreon. This is from Isabel, and they want to know are there any land animals affected by the moon cycle? Yeah, there are for sure. I was reading about it and like it's kind of everything because like predators will hunt more because there's more light. But then prey like move a lot less because they know that they'll be hunted. Right. So I think it kind of evens out.

And clams don't open. Yeah, there's a lot of things. They're an ocean animal. But yeah. I was reading the, uh, the Twilight books again recently. and there's a couple animals in there that depend on the moon cycle. Were you really? No.

Okay. Yeah. No, that's a good point. Yeah, but there definitely are. Like, a lot of animals are affected by it, but it might not be the same way that, like, some animals in the ocean are affected by it on, like, a cellular level. But, like, a lot of the animals we're talking about, it's going to be more of, like, a behavioral level that they're affected by it.

It's kind of... Wolves get a little, like... And dogs get a little... a little more rowdy. Yeah. You know, start howling a bit. Totally. All right.

So from Conrad, what's your favorite Lord of the Rings comic relief moment? Hmm. You want me to start? Yeah, go for it. For me, it's when Faramir gets, like, pressured by his dad, Denethor, to go back out and try to recapture that city. And then Pippin is singing in the hall. And then he eats the half of a little tomato.

and just squirts tomato all over himself. Yeah. And it's like a really intense moment, and then he's just like squirting tomato juice. That part's always funny. Or meets back on the menu. That's a good joke. I think my favorite is a deleted scene or an extended version scene,

but it's where Mary and Pippen find all the food and like pipe weed at Eisengard. And they just like get baked out of their minds. And she is like, what's going on down there? Yeah, and they're just like super high. And the movie, it doesn't even like kind of, it doesn't allude to it. It's like very obvious that they're just like way high.

I love that part. Mine's when Gollum bites Frodo's finger off. That's just hilarious to me. Neither of you guys picked actual comic relief. Gollum is like... Mine legitimately makes me back. It is pretty funny. Gollum's objectively funny in Lord of the Rings.

Like where he's talking to him. self and stuff. That's also a really funny part. I also love where Aragorn spits out the soup. Oh, yeah. The whole soup segment is a great scene. Okay, another one, this is from Isabel. I don't know if it's the same person. Doubling up. Yeah, and doubling up on Lord of the Rings. How much ground does Denethor cover when he leaps from the pier and runs off the cliff of Minis Tirith? Because in the movie, it's like two seconds, and that would make him hell of. fast. Yeah, they definitely like, it was quite a bit of ground. He was on fire for a while. It's a few

hundred yards to jump off that thing. He had to be really determined to want to jump off there. Yeah. But it's a cool scene. It's a cool scene. So we're glad it made it. Yeah, I'm glad he did. And then on to Instagram. Uh, from Joelley, Joel probably. They want to know if we're going do another Rings of Power episode. I think we should. We've just been so busy that it's been hard. I say we do like an end-of-season recap maybe or something. We might just like record those.

Or like one mid-season one. After the season's over. But we definitely want to. Honestly, like I don't want to, we won't say anything that's spoilerish or anything. I've really liked it. It's kind of surpassed my expectations. I look forward to it every week. So I'd love to talk about it more.

hail on a trail wants to know so like with the provo mountain lion attack where the guy started throwing rocks at it at the end not an attack but yeah yeah thanks encounter is there any specific animal or scenario that throwing rocks would increase the likelihood of attack yes i would feel like it if i were the animal that would piss me off enough to want to rumble yeah like a moose i wouldn't throw rocks or anything at a moose I wouldn't throw it at a grizzly bear. There's a lot of animals where you don't. In fact, there aren't many where you do want to throw rocks. A mountain line is one of them.

Black bears are one of them. But a lot of other ones you wouldn't want to because it could antagonize the animal. So, you know, these are all really nuanced things. Every animal's different. So don't think that, like, because it works for one, it'll work for others. So from Alex R, she wants to know, if you could switch any predator prey relationship in the wild, which would you choose? For example, a rabbit hunting a fox would be interesting sight to see in the wild.

Oh, that's kind of a funny question. Yeah. I think I would pick balls of sardines and all the stuff that eats them. Because you see those big spectacles where there's a ball of sardines and there's like sailfish and birds and whales and all the stuff coming at them. It'd be really scary of huge balls of sardines just were like massive cooperative predators. That would be kind of cool. Yeah. Like the locus in Jurassic World Dominion.

Yeah. So cool. Man. I love that movie. My pick, so I've been thinking a lot about the far side ever since last time. Someone asked about it. And I really, really enjoy any of the strips or the panels where the deer are wearing like hunters, gear and shooting at humans.

It may be funny is, it's funny. Like, it's meant to be a joke. It's supposed to be funny. I don't know. I guess maybe I wouldn't like to see that in real life, but the idea of it is funny to me. Oh, if we can pick humans and our, like, relationships,

then, yeah, I'm totally on board with that. I'm picking seals and polar bears, just like the seals popping out of the ice and just taking a polar bear down. All right. from wolf 1681 was the most gruesome injury you've personally witnessed gruesome injury of oh yeah i've seen some doozies i saw people get killed in Brazil i saw a guy get hit by a car and his brains were everywhere i've seen some shit

i was thinking of when i ruptured my petteller tendon playing basketball and my kneecap was like all the way up my thigh. I hate that one. But then you just brought that up. I was like, oh yeah, I've seen a bunch of people get killed. So that's worse.

Mike, how many people you've seen get killed? I like how this question's morphed. It's like a weird question. I don't know. So my friend and I did see someone is really an odd situation, but someone was zipping by on a motorcycle while my friend and I were just sitting on a park bench. And for some reason,

the tires slid out from underneath him. And he rolled and I just, this is like weird recalling this in like such a public way. But yeah, he didn't have the necessary body parts to continue living after the accident was all said and done. Like he was dead like right away. Yeah. That's how the guy that got hit by a car that I saw was that way too. I saw a guy on a motorcycle in Guatemala get hit by a car. Uh-huh.

And he did like a face slide across the hood. God, I don't want to talk about it. He did like a face slide front flip and landed it and was like fine. Oh, wow. That's amazing. But it was crazy. He did like a breakdance move across the whole hood of the car. All right.

All right. One more. Ryan Pellster. Mike can bring back the Sonics, but they're now called the Seattle horses. Does he do it? Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, man.

I would. But you love this. It should be Seattle Stallions, though. The Seattle horses. Seattle deserves to have a team. I wouldn't like them in the same way, but, man, really anything to get basketball back in that city. Oh, that sucks. That's it for listener questions.

All right. You love the name Supersonics. Oh, that's so good. It's a great name. All right. Well, I think that's it for the episode. Thanks, everyone. Thanks everyone for sending us news episodes or news clippings and clippings.

You guys aren't sending us clippings. Thanks for sending us these news flurbs. Cutting out stories from your local newspapers. Mom's been sending you some media digest that that's where your mind is. Anyway, we really appreciate it. We appreciate the continued support from all you subscribers out there. If you are looking for more bonus content, hop on to our Patreon or our Apple Gris Club. I don't know, we got like 40 or 50 bonus episodes on there now.

It's pretty crazy. Yeah. It's good stuff. We've been putting out some heaters lately too. Yeah, we have. Jeff did a great Fire Ann episode. I just did a grizzly bear attack. Mike, what was your last Patreon episode?

It was a good one. You know which one I really liked of yours was the one where you did the old-timey explanations of animals and we had to guess what animal they were talking about. Oh, yeah. Was that the last one I did? It might have been. No. You did one after that.

But anyway, Anteaters. Check it out if you feel like it. You doubled up too because I was like depressed. I didn't do in it for a little bit. Anyway, I hope you're feeling better now, Jeff. And we love you all. Thanks so much for listening.

Love you guys. Bye. Stay safe. Don't get eaten. Yeah. Words to live by. See ya.