Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Special Rings of Power Bonus Episode

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

The boys talk Tolkien in this diversionary bonus episode, specifically their hopes and fears for the new Rings of Power series coming out this week. Wes struggles to restrain himself when it comes to bringing up the Silmarillion and Jeff just struggles to say Silmarillion. Somehow we end up ranking "hot" tolkien characters with emojis.  All of our regularly scheduled episodes are still on the way, so don't worry about this taking their place for the week or anything. And if we do make more of these, they will probably be on their own feed, so don't worry about them cluttering up the timeline of our regular Tooth and Claw content. Thanks for listening! ~~ To advertise on the show, contact us! ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social:  Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds                          Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, everyone. Welcome to something a little new from us here at Tooth and Claw. As most of you know by now, we're all pretty big fans of the Lord of the Rings universe. So we thought it'd be fun to put together a little primer for the upcoming Rings of Power show. We kind of just did this on a lark. We aren't really sure where we're going to post it or if we're going to do more of these as more episodes of the show come out. So if you like this idea and you want to hear more from us, the best place to let us know is definitely going to be over on our Instagram page. We'll have a post up about this episode, I'm sure, and you can leave all the comments that you want at Tooth and Claw Podcast on Instagram.

We also want to make it clear that this is not taking the place of any of our normally scheduled episodes. So let's get to our first and hopefully not last episode on The Rings of Power. All right, let's go. Hey, everyone, it's Wes, Mike, and Jeff from Tooth and Claw podcast. We got an animal story for you. That's not what we're doing today. We're doing something different. And this is actually kind of a little bit of a spin-off for us because next to animals, there's another thing that all three of us love, which is Lord of the Rings or Tolkien in general, not just Lord of the Rings.

Wait a minute. What? You introduced us wrong. It should be Wesley's son of Gilbert, right? Yeah, Wesley, son of Gilbert, Jeffrey, son of Gilbert, Mike, son of Christopher. I'm of Montana. Jeff's of Montana, mics of many places. The land of Portland, Oregon.

Yeah. We're talking Lord of the Rings today because it's a big week for Lord of the Rings and for Tolkien in general. The Rings of Power, Amazon show was coming out. It seems like this could be something that for five years gives us a lot of really great enjoyment and really creates an immersive Tolkien world for us to all enjoy on a weekly basis, or it could be a huge disappointment and a flop. We're not really sure at this point.

Yeah, we're excited. Yeah, so we kind of want to talk about it. And so that's what we're doing. So, Mike, you know, I'm going to turn it over to you. Yeah, so just to go over our bona fides real quick, Wes, he's read the Silmarillion three times just in the past year, right? Yes. I have read the first five pages of the Silmarillion once. Jeff can sometimes pronounce the word Silmarillion.

Yeah. Maybe one out of five times. Yeah, that's where we're coming from. But really, I mean. Simmeralian. you. Nope, not quite. Close. Put an L in there and you got it.

We're a huge fan, so I mean, like, our most look forward to day is the day. Every year we do a Lord of the Rings marathon. It's truly my favorite holiday at this point. We've even kind of convinced ourselves that we like the Hobbit movies. Yeah.

I'm still, I'm more on the edge than you guys. They become a bed of a warm blanket for me. I mean, we've even, we played the Shadow of Mortar games. We're all in. Yeah. We're, except for Wes, who has a profound knowledge of the lore, we're at least surface level on like kind of understanding all this middle earth stuff. I think.

Yeah, I'm going to do my own deep dive that I think will be pretty significant. People will know I really thought it out and they'll be impressed. That's at the end of the, so teaser for the end of the episode. You're going to want to stick around for that. But so I figured I kind of wanted to take the lead, not because I'm first and foremost in knowledge, but because... You've been jealous of the attention to me in Westgate. It's true. Yeah, follow me on Facebook, please. You guys are much more fans of prestige TV than I have been. So I feel like I want to assume more the role of like the chairman on Iron Chef America where he just does some like karate moves at the beginning.

All right. And then just like kind of walks around while other people do everything else for the rest of the show. That's kind of who I see myself. We should cover that show actually. Should we just pivot to that show? Just pivot to that right now. Yeah. Sturge an episode. Anyway, so Jeff, I wanted to start with this. I saw a YouTube thumbnail that was titled, Amazon Rings of Power trailer gets destroyed by Lord of the Rings fans. Again, this is not Tolkien. Are you one of those fans you think that that video is referencing there?

No, I'm not at all. I mean, you've already said, I can't really stay Silmarillion very well. Right. I don't know anything outside of Hobbit, Lord of the Rings. rings. So I'm just like, it's like a roller coaster. I'm just sitting down and seeing what happens. I don't know what it's going to look like until I'm on. A problem I have with that is like a lot of Tolkien fans love the Peter Jackson movies. And like there's like a lot of aspects of those that have like become part of like Tolkien lore and universe and everything. Even just like the design of the

Lord of the Rings like name and everything from the movies. But like the Tolkien family fans, famously doesn't like the Peter Jackson movies and say they like didn't get his vision right and stuff. So I just think like there's a lot of different ways to interpret these works. And I think it is wise to go into this with an open mind. And it doesn't have to be just like Peter Jackson's. It doesn't have to be just like Ralph Beskiers or whatever. It can be its own thing. It's just does it nail the spirit of what Tolkien was trying to get at.

I'm just hoping it goes more Lord of the Rings than Hobbit. Yeah. Well, that's actually where I wanted to start, Wes, because, I mean, if the YouTube comments are to be believed underneath all the trailers for this new show, really the main tripping point these people are encountering is that it's just straying too far away from the original vision of what Tolkien had, like, from the source material. How does they know that from like a two-minute trailer? Well, okay.

They're just mad there's like a black elf. So really. They're like, all elves have to be. That's probably true. It's probably just some inherent racism. Yeah. Well, how far, how much leeway are you willing to extend? Okay.

Especially U.S. since you're kind of the biggest fan of this source material. So this show is set in the second age of the Tolkien universe. So do you want me to just do a quick rundown of kind of what that means? Yeah, this is a great time for that. So the first stage is like what the whole, the bulk of the Silmarians about. And during the first stage, we have our big bad of the entire Tolanian. Vulcan universe who's Morgoth.

Morgoth is like akin to the devil. And Soron is like his number one lieutenant. So we all know who Soron is. Soron was like his go-to guy. And at the end of the first age, Morgoth is like banished, but Soron's still around. And Soron's like then the main antagonist

throughout the second age and the third age. So the third age is what we have like Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit. Those both take place in the third age. But the second age is kind of this transition period between the first age and the third age. That makes sense. And the main events, yeah, it does. It adds up.

The main events that happen in the second age are the forging of the rings of power and the fall of Numenor. And I think those are the two things that we're going to dwell on the most in this series. So in the first movie, in the Fellowship of the Ring, you know how, like, Gladriel does that big opening and you see the battle where Soron is initially, like, vanquished, where Silador cuts off his finger. that moment marks the end of the second age and my guess is that's where the series is going to take us I think that's going to be the last season of this show is going to end with those events

see I was thinking they should have hired j.J. Abrams to do like a sequel so we just have like weird camera flares the whole time and there's like a new bigger ring of power that's more powerful 30 years from now and like saron season three saron's like still alive, they didn't actually kill him, and he has like 30 death stars and starfighters. Like, what's smaller than a Hobbit to carry this ring? Yeah, they'd find a smaller version of a Hobbit. And then he's like somehow related to Frodo at the end of it all. Mike, I will say to your point, the source material of this, it is the second age.

The Tolkien family, like the Tolkien estate has said that they're not going to give up the rights to the Silmarillion, but they did give up the rights to like, this program is like allowed to base their story off of things from the second age. So they're allowed to use plot points from the Silmarillion. They're not allowed just to like adapt it, like start to finish, like we're going to tell the story of the Silmarillion, but they're allowed to use it as like a framing point for the stories that they're telling. So how many pages of literature? Because a big tripping point again for like especially approaching the Hobbit was one book being stretched out into three movies. Yeah.

Is that kind of a worry for you? No, because it's not a faithful adaptation of the work, you know? And so like the second age of Middle Earth spans thousands and thousands of years. And so you can pull out all these stories if you wanted to. And like, you guys think that I'm some like Tolkien scholar, but like I have my Quora notifications are set up for Tolkien questions. and there are people out there, there's like a multi-issue set of the history of Middle Earth that's like an encyclopedia of Middle Earth,

and people have just poured over this and read it like multiple times. Like I am a student of these masters. And so I, there is an endless wealth of like hints that Tolkien has dropped, and there is a lot of stories that they can go through. But I do think hopefully they're really careful when it does come to like the actual doctrinal parts, you know, where they're talking about, like, the Oath of Fianor or, like, the fall of Numenor, all these different things that they're probably going to interject into this.

Hopefully they don't stray from what actually happened. I think that's my biggest fear. Like, for example, Galadriel's brother is killed by werewolves in a, like, kind of in a fight with Sauron, and I don't know how they're going to do that, and I wonder if they're actually going to make that true to form. So, we'll just see. Yeah. It'll be cool.

Sounds fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we'll see. Like teen wolf. Yeah. Yeah.

With a basketball. Just dunks on him so hard. Jeff, he dies. Just throwing out were wolves. Yeah. So all we have to go on are the trailers that have been released so far. And it's impossible, but maybe worthwhile, to extrapolate as much information out of them as we can. Uh, I think I'm cynical again, Wes.

Yeah. I'm in the middle. The things that make me cynical are the lighting. and the slow motion, there's been a lot of slow motion shots of like elves doing battle and stuff. And then the lighting of just like, everyone's always perfectly lit.

I went back and watched the Galadriel intro to Fellowship of the Rings the other day. And it's so beautiful and like so well shot. I don't know why everything now has to look glossy and like have this fake light and everything. But that worries me. The things that make me excited though or like practical effect orcs and some cool casting.

To me, what I'm excited about is just being in New Zealand again. Like, I think the, like, shots of, like, the mountains looked really cool in the trailers. Yeah. We're probably mostly going to be in front of a green screen, though. They went to New Zealand. Yeah. There's, like, all those stories of them, like, fighting COVID in New Zealand. They filmed there, but I think a lot of it's still going to be green.

I mean, they filmed The Hobbit in New Zealand, too. And it was mostly... I'm just saying, I was trying to give a positive. You can't make my positive I can make your positive if I want. Don't yuck on a yum, as they say. Yeah. Sorry, I might have jumped ahead there by saying what I'm looking forward to. No, that's great.

I just had a couple of highlights I wanted to shout out from the, especially the latest trailer. Yeah, I'd love to talk about them. It really starts out playing the greatest hits, you know. It's dramatic voiceover, narration over a battle scene. Some ethereal music starts kicking in, which starts off okay. But then it turns into like some weird. pop-adjacent stuff. It's like... Yeah. Yeah. That's... So for me, that's why the Comic Con trailer was my favorite trailer,

because it really felt like Howard Shore's score in that one. Like, it had the notes of, of, like, some of the, like, the music from Rivendale and, like, a few other things. And so the second trailer was by far... That's the one that made me think, like, oh, this might be good. And then this third trailer has kind of put me in the middle. Like, first trailer I hated, second one I liked, third one, I'm like, ooh. Jeff, did you like the scene in the trailer where there's a dwarf? It kind of looks like he's posing for mug shots. He kind of like, he turns around and faces the camera and then like looks away.

Doesn't he like smash a rock with his hand? He does. And that's cool. So there right now is like a scene that you can watch. And it's, it's Elrond going to Kazabdun and like having a competition with Balin, I think. That's where that rock smashing scene comes in. And I watch that scene. and it didn't make me very encouraged.

Oh, no. But I don't know. I'm really trying to go into this with an open mind. Like, I'm actually pretty excited for it still. But I'm also not, I'm not that gatekeeping of a person. So for me, it's like, if this totally sucks, it doesn't ruin Peter Jackson's movies for me. It doesn't ruin the books for me. It's just kind of a failed attempt, you know, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I think prequels. are safer than sequels. Sequels can, like, mess up the original content more. And the difference is, is this one, they're still sticking to the source material as far as, like, how the story ends and how it starts. They're not creating, like, a new storyline. They're not building a new, more powerful death star

that Luke had no point in defeating the empire because it's all back right away. Yeah, and it's not, like, exactly. There's not going to be, like, mediclorians or something like that, hopefully, you know. Right. But this is like sandwiched in, you know, they're taking like the actual story and they're building a story around it. And I'm okay with that as long as it's, you know, not total horseshit.

Just a little bit of horseshit, you're fine with it. Just like two molecules. You eat a tiny bit. Yeah. See, you're coming around on my side. I'll still pick no horseshit over two molecules of it. I'll take the molecules. Yeah, I know you live.

It doesn't make sense. But who knows? I mean, I also don't really have much faith in the general populace as far as like to know when anything's good anymore. Because there's been some things recently that people have loved where I'm just like, how do people like this? But I don't know. You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save?

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Ralph's, fresh for everyone. Some parts from the trailers, do we want to talk about that? Yeah, go for it. Do you have any specific you want to bring up? The things I liked most were the practical effect orcs. I think they look great with like the skull helmets and stuff. I just think they look really cool. I think Galadriel looks cool.

I think they picked a really good actress for her. It doesn't make a ton of sense because she's already like thousands of years old, so she could still just look like Cape Blanchet. But she does look cool. I think the casting in general I'm excited about. Like I like that it's not big names that are just kind of trying to rely on star power. It's cool that these are all relatively newcomers. Yeah, that is nice.

I'm really, the thing that excites me the most is it looks like we're going to get some kind of flashback scene to the first age. Because I know that I at least saw like the oath of Fianor. I saw like one of probably the War of Wrath, which is like the biggest war in the first age. And some other first aid, like the trees of Valanor, some cool first age stuff. So I'm excited about that. What are you guys excited about? I said mine. Okay.

I just am excited to be back in New Zealand. Yeah. You just need to go to New Zealand, it sounds like. Yeah, I would love to go to New Zealand. Do you know what I'm excited about is everyone is, so there's these a race of people called Harfoots who apparently don't exist and I don't know, whatever. The Hobbits weren't really around until the third age. Right, but I loved seeing them in the trailer because I was like,

these people look like dirty people that are living in a world, you know? It was just nice to see people look as if they were not freshly showered and shaven. Yeah. It's kind of funny, like, when Tolkien wrote The Hobbit and then he was writing the Silmeralian, and the Silmerlian was like what he wanted next, but the Hobbit released first, and he wanted to then just publish the Silmarillion, but his publishers were like, no, we want more hobbits. Like the people want more hobbits. And so that's why he wrote Lord of the Rings.

And the Silmeralian was like his passion project, but he, like, he cared about elves more than he cared about hobbits. but his publisher forced him to get into more Hobbits. And now that's happening with the show, too. It's like there's no reason to have Harfoot. Sounds like something someone who's read the Silma really three times would say. Yeah, but like people want Hobbits. Like that's kind of been like so far up until now, like for most people, Tolkien's world is centered around hobbits when for Tolkien,

it was very much centered around the elves. Like that was what he cared about. It started, I think, because he just created. created new languages, like elvish languages. And that was like the first thing that is like, I better put some story with this. Yeah, right. Yeah. But it is, I don't know.

It's a, it's a thing that I'm kind of glad they did because the hobbits are always the easiest people to like, it's an underdog story. You cheer for them super easily. They're like cute and small and fun. So like, I don't know. If it's a bunch of like straight-faced elves, it doesn't seem like a very easy persona to get attached to. No.

But then like a bunch of partying, smoking, drinking audits. Yeah, it's a lot colder of a world. But also, like, Game of Thrones kind of did that. They weren't elves, but it was very, like, serious, you know? Like, there's one kind of odd guy. Yeah, but, like, if this, if, like, this isn't going to be, this can't go the Game of Thrones rat, I don't think.

Because Game of Thrones was, like, R-rated plus. Right. And that's what made it fun that it was serious. But they don't need to. This can't be, like, if it's not going to be, like, if it's not going to be, like, as are rated, it has to be a little bit more fun. Yeah, but like the Silmarillion and like the first and second ages part of it, especially, they are very serious.

And like, there's not like as much levity as there is in Lord of the Rings and especially the Hobbit. Yeah, but you already said you don't care if it follows the source that much. I don't, I don't. But what I'm saying is you could still make that show in a Tolkien world. Tolkien's world doesn't need to be like kind of like slapsticky and fun. And like you could make that show. But it's like, I don't think that's what people are expecting.

from a Tolkien universe, but like it's not like that's an impossibility. And you could still interject some comic relief into it, but you could make a show about the elves and have it be really intriguing and interesting. Yeah, I was going to ask actually, if you thought that there was a place in mainstream media for like a faithful adaptation of Tolkien's works in 2022, because like you guys were referencing, the most recent kind of like touchstone, cultural touchstone of fantasy is Game of Thrones. For me, that place for that show is animation. And not like, like a really cool, like, anime could make such a cool retelling of like the Silmarillion and make it like true and make it kind of graphic, but also make it really beautiful and include

this kind of like mysticism and everything. I just don't trust filmmakers with CG anymore. I just think they ruin everything with CG and with lighting. And I think anime is kind of the perfect medium for that. Yeah, that would be cool. And I know they're making that war of the Rohirim. I have the Rohiram. It's like all about the writers of Rohan. Horses.

Yeah, they're making an anime about that, about the horse lords. Nice. Yeah. So I think that'll be really cool, even though I think Rohan's like the least interesting kingdom of all of Middle Earth. Speaking of dudes and horses and stuff, just after these trailers, I want to do just a quick power ranking what you think the most interesting race is the one you're most excited to see the place you want to be in during the show where are you guys out with that right now

so for me my most interesting race are the elves the elves are like immortal they have weird kind of interesting powers that are by far the most like like strong and agile and cool I think the numinoreans are going to be really cool too those are men the place that I'm most interested in is because that's where Soron ultimately like inserts himself as like a religious leader. Oh, cool. And that leads to some really interesting consequences. And so I'm really interested to see how that works out. And then for me, like, if there's one character that I hope they do right and they like make really cool, it's the witch king of Angmar.

I hope they show like kind of an origin story for him because I think that could be really cool. That's like the main ring race. Yeah. in the Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just glad to be in New Zealand again. Okay. No, I don't know enough about it to answer that.

Like, I don't know the places in this world. Yeah, you know all the main races, though. We got men, elves, dwarves. Well, I always pick the Shire, though. Okay, so you're interested in the... I mean, dwarves would suck because you're just, like, in the cave all the time. Well, I'm glad you brought up doors, Jeff, because there's a shot in the newest trailer that is kind of this huge. huge open cave system with a little bit of natural light coming in.

And there's like really cool vegetation happening down on the surface level. It looks really pretty. That's actually, that's faithful to Tolkien's writings. Like in history of Middle Earth, he says that the dwarves had like a system of mirrors to collect sunlight down into their caves to like grow vegetation and whatnot. So, yeah.

All right, I'll go with dwarves. They're always kind of funny too. They are. And they always have Scottish accents. When they go into Bilbo's house and make dinner. Yeah, that is. They're just throwing plates around or sing their Misty Mountain song. They're really bad house guests.

They are. Well, they're kind of great house guests, too. They ate all his cheese. Yeah, they ate. But he had way too much cheese for one person. For one dude. True. Okay, Jeff.

Yeah. You've got something store for us, right? Yeah. Wes and Mike were really excited when I told him my idea here. Yeah, I actually, needed to go lay down and count to 10. Mike was very uninduced. All right.

I was going to do like a 10 person ranking of how hot they are from Lord of the Rings media. And I had to make it 12. I couldn't keep it to 10. Too many hot boys, hot girls. And then we're going to rank how hot they are using emojis. Okay. I'm not looking at my phone. I'm just looking at my emojis here.

One rule that, like, it's going to trip you up because I'm not going to let you switch once you give these out. Okay. Oh, okay. But the hottest person of my 12, I want you to give the fire emoji to. Okay. And the second hottest, I want you to give the, like, the red hot emoji face with, like, the sweat, like, they're hot. So that's, like, one and two hottest, get those two emojis. Okay, I see.

And then the rest we make up. Okay, all right. So just to start it off, we're going to go with Rosie, the Hobbit, who Sam likes in the Shire. What's the number one emoji? The hottest one is fine. Oh, there we go. Rosie. I'm doing monkey covering its eyes emoji.

What? Like, that's like, oh, you're too cute. I can't look. Oh, okay. Yeah, I see. Mine's the smiley face blowing the little heart. The little, like, it's blown a kiss. So you think she's pretty cute.

I think she's cute, but it's like, like, like. cute. She's not like, yeah, I'd give you a kiss. You'll kiss anything. Okay, so my real pick is going to be the think, the think face, because maybe not the most conventionally attractive person that's going to be on your list, but probably the best life partner. Okay. Yeah, good at dancing too.

All right. Number two, Gandalf. I chose the T-Rex emoji, because he's old. He is a dinosaur. I mean, for me, it's got to be the smiley face with like the same. Star Eyes just because of anyone I would want to meet in Middle Earth, it would probably be Gandalf. Oh, you'd be starstruck. Yeah.

Mike? I'm going with prayer hands. Cool. Okay. Eragorn. Did I say it right that day? Yeah, you did. I went with my fire.

I think he's the hottest in all order. This is your list, too, so you know. Okay. He's getting my red face number two. Like, he's cool. I'm going with the sunglasses, like the cool. Like the cool guy Sunclasses

Face, yeah Wayne, you're saving your one and two hottest I know Golem's still on the list Then I have Galadrio And old and new Galadro So like the original and the new one So for the original one

I went with the eggplant Okay And with the new one I went with the peach Because I want to see that But Okay All right

With the new one I think I'm doing eggplant And the original one, I think I'm going with, like, the green heart. That's, like, maybe I think the most noble heart to give someone. And I think she's beautiful, but also really noble. Mike? I'm doing crossed fingers because I'm going to ask for one hair of her head and hope that she actually gives me three.

There's a whole similar explanation for why that was so important, by the way. Well, we don't need to talk about that. Okay, next is worm tongue. Worm tongue. I did the emoji where it's peeking through its fingers. Like it has his eyes closed, but it's peeking through his fingers. You're not that hot, but maybe there's a little something there I like. Okay, I'm doing puky face.

I don't like worm tongue. Yeah, I just don't think he's very attractive. Mike loves Brad Durup, so he's probably going to do like his flame or something. So I'm worried about Wormtong, so I'm going Sun with Face emoji, because I think he just, Grow out your eyebrows, spend a little more time in the sun. I think he's looking good. He's got some sun. Okay.

Next is Mary and Pippin. I did the two friends dancing together emoji. Yeah. Oh, we're doing them together? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a good pick.

That's what I'll do too. I'm going to go with the pile of poo emoji because Mary. When you say the two friends dancing, you mean the ones wearing like cat ears, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's my pick for them. Okay. And then another group one, the Hobbit Love Triangle. So that's Legalis, the dwarf, and the other elf. Oh, in The Hobbit? Okay. How hot was that love triangle? That's just a thumbs down for me. That's the thumbs down emoji, because that was maybe my worst part of all the Hobbit movies, the fact that they included that.

Mike? I'm going with a hundred, like the hundred emoji, because I think, I don't know. I think they should all just, be together, all three of them. Polyamory. I just did a triangle, triangle emoji. That's a good, yeah, simple. All right, next is Golem. Gollum? Oh.

Yeah. I have, I have the pointer finger and then the okay sign because I'd hit that. Okay. He seems really smooth skin. I'd have sex with Gollum. I'm picking the fish, or no, I'm picking the demon, the purpose. demon smiling because golem's like the most kind of playful bad guy in the movie so that's yeah yeah that's a good one i'm going with birthday cake emoji because it seems like he just needed

someone to be nice to him you know have a friend offer a cake he'll be my bud okay okay we got four more so this is our win that's my fire i'm gonna see number one i went i went i went the hot face she's my number two. What a power couple her in Aragon, right? Errigorn? Erigo. I got all nervous to say it. Yeah, flame for me. Number one, fire. Fire. Flame. Okay. We all like her. All right. Next up is the ballrog.

Cool. For me, that's the sunglasses, smiley face, because I think the ballrog of all the villains in Lord of the Rings is the coolest. And protect your eyes from the... Like, that's the scene of all three movies that I'm, like, most disappointed if I sleep through. I'm going to go purple demon face on this one. Yeah. Kind of mischievous has a whip.

You don't know what it's going to do with that. Mestievous. Mestievous is a word that we need to write down to remember. That's a good marketing campaign for stevia. I'm going with what's the emoji called where he's got, like, his hands on his cheeks and his, like, faces blue? It's like the scream emoji. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the scream emoji.

You're scared. Yeah. Okay, that's a good pick. Next up, we got Frodo. I'm going hard eyes on this one. Just the hard eyes, like, adorable little Frodo. Yeah. Let me think on that one.

For me, that's probably, I kind of think I like the smiley face with like the big anime wet eyes, you know? Oh, yeah, okay. It's got like the sparkles in them. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's probably it. Because he's got like such a kind of tragic story and you feel. feel kind of bad for him the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's kind of a sad face, but it's like the

cute sad face. Got you. I'm going to go with the skull emoji, because he dies. Frodo doesn't die? Oh, yeah. At the end, he totally dies. He goes to the dying lands. He does the opposite of dying. It's all an allegory. He was, Tolkien was all about allegory. No, he wasn't. He's famously against allegory. So, last one is tree beard. Okay. I mean, I have to give away my second and hottest award because that's the only have to, but yeah. Okay, well, I'm good with that. I went with the three water drops, like the squirt.

Ew. People do for, like, sex teams sometimes. Gross. Trees need water. True. And then, like, I don't know, he's kind of hot. I'm doing the frozen smiley face just to, again, represent the tree powers are so much better than ice powers.

Oh, yeah. The frozen smiley face. Oh, man. Well, thanks for playing our long. I thought that's fun. It was fun. Thank you. But you know what?

I just want to reiterate one more time that we live in an age where there are so many TV shows and we're in like the golden age of prestige TV. There's a lot of great TV shows out there. If this one sucks, it doesn't matter. It's just another thing that sucks. You don't need to like burn the world down over it. Just watch something else, you know? Like it doesn't need to become a big deal.

let's all go into this with an open mind. Some people might love it, and you know, great for them. They have one more thing to kind of get them through a life that can be hard sometimes. I want to say if you, even if you kind of like it, but like you find things you don't like about it, find those actors on social media and tell them why you didn't like that certain part. All urge listeners to do the opposite of that. I think it sucks a person. The person we can blame if it sucks is Jeff Bezos.

And so let's all hate Jeff Bezos no matter what. He's ruining the world. He kind of looks like Gollum. Jacked, though. That was fun. Thanks, Mike, for putting that together. And yeah, you know, if this thing is good, we might just be reviewing every episode. We'll see.

Yeah, maybe we'll get some guests on. We'll see what happens. Let us know. All right. We'll see y'all. Bye. Bye.