Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - The Mummy's Curse & Other Horrific Deaths by Animal with Sammy Smart

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Wes concocted another episode with which to horrify friend of the show Sammy Smart of Too Scary; Didn't Watch fame. We're lucky to have a friend like her! Watch here: https://youtu.be/2QFCSvyu1eg ~ Ollie Pet Food: Take the guesswork out of your dog's well-being. Go to http://ollie.com/tooth and use code tooth to get 60% off your first box! Miracle Brand: Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made! Go to https://trymiracle.com/TOOTH and use the code TOOTH to claim your FREE 3 PIECE TOWEL SET and SAVE over 40% OFF. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to http://rocketmoney.com/claw Butcher Box: As an exclusive offer, our listeners can get free protein in every box for a year PLUS $20 off your first box when you go to https://ButcherBox.com/TOOTH Quince: Go to http://quince.com/tooth for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.  ~ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If the world were like a sleep number mattress, everything would adapt for your comfort. Because as your life changes and your body changes, sleep number mattresses adapt and shift to give you personalized comfort night after night. And now everything's on sale during our Memorial Day event. Save up to $1,200 on mattresses for a limited time. To experience a whole new world of comfort, visit a sleep number store or go to sleepnumber.com. Sleep number to a good life sleep. Hello everyone, welcome to Tooth and Claw podcast. We are the three foodie boys.

Today we will be talking about whether plain old cheese pizza is better or pepperoni pizza. Wes, I'll kick it to you. Yeah, I like cheese. I'm a cheese guy. Cheese, Sammy. Over pepperoni. Yeah, Sammy, what do you think? Pepperoni.

Am I the lone pepperoni over here? I like pepperoni too. It's hard to decide. Thank you. Now, let's go ahead and introduce our guest. Yeah, we're joined again. by our good friend Sammy Smart from Too Scary Didn't Watch. We only collaborate with podcasts where if you type two into the search bar, that podcast comes up.

So Sammy, we're very happy to have you on the show again. The Too Fast, Too Furious podcast. Yeah, exactly. Also our other favorite. I'm delighted to be back with you guys and excited to see what we have in store for this spooky episode. Hold that thought about being delighted. One cup. I feel like at this point, we're kind of like, we could really just be held accountable for harassment at this point.

Just once a year we bring Sam, we trotter out and inflict some emotional damage. We're like, all right, see you next time. This just comes up with the worst thing he can't. I did it again, guys. I did it again. Worse than leeches in the butt? I just want to say the episode has a lot of stuff that's not that bad, but there's one bit that is quite bad. So I'm just prepping everyone for that.

There's one, this is kind of a multi-story episode, and one of those stories is horrific. Well, before we get to the story, I feel like we need to help Mike out a little bit. So he wasn't on our last episode. And I just want to do a correction corner. There's a lot of chatter about somehow we were trying to compliment him, and we ended up just throwing in a line that he's mean to service workers. Which isn't true. It's not true at all.

That wasn't a nightmare. I didn't just wake up from a bad dream. The one episode you skip where you just like really put your name through the dirt for no reason. My two best friends got on our audience of international audience of thousands and thousands of listeners. And Wes was like, oh, Mike's pretty nice guy. And Jeff was like, well, I don't know about that. I want to know what you witnessed in India is my big question. Like that to me, I thought maybe I'll just have you recounted real quick.

Sorry, Sammy. This is like inner turmoil, inner podcast drama. I started to say Mike is incredibly kind to people, even random people. And then Jeff interjected the India thing. And in Mike's defense, the TSA, the Indian equivalent of TSA, they were really hard to deal with. Like you had to pull apart every single electronic you had in your bag. And I don't remember Mike being particularly put off by it more so than the rest of us. I don't remember saying anything to any of them.

So I'm just curious what you had in your brain, Jeff. For that specific instance to be brought up to castigate me, just a blanket statement that I mean to service workers everywhere. Anyway, I'm over. I really don't care. We're over it. Did you get a lot of shit from the listeners, Mike? Kind of.

I got like a few Discord messages, private messages, and then I guess like a Reddit thread popped up. Someone made like a full Reddit. Like is Mike me deserve it? He is not. I'm going to say it definitively, and this isn't just us trying to cover our bases. What I was trying to say originally in that compliment is very true that Mike is exceedingly kind to just about every person he ever meets.

Except for you guys. And you wouldn't expect it from his outward demeanor and like kind of how he represents himself on the podcast. So it's corrected. We don't have to bring it up again. That is Mike's true nature. And it's what I meant to say in the first. place. Let's move on to the episode. I'm glad he brought it up to the chat. Sammy, thanks for

joining us. I've been on their podcast a few times. Sammy's been here a few times, mostly during October. You're one of our favorite guests. I'm just going to say it. I love to be here, and I'm thrilled to hear it. It's a huge honor. So thank you for having me. There's a specific part of this episode that I was saving just for you. And that's why we're doing it today. And I think you'll know it when it comes up. It's going to be toward the end. But just so you know, there's part of this episode that's about you. Mike originally sent me the idea, and then I've workshopped it a little bit.

So we'll get to it. Yeah. All right. I'm giddy and I'm scared. There's not much scarier than me to do during that part. Just I want you to be as quiet as possible. Just leave. No, I want you to stay.

All right. So there's not much scarier than death, right? Death is one of the scariest things that faces all of us. Taxis and push back a little. Getting a splinter under your fingernail. We're not going to get through today's episode ever. There's a whole franchise devoted to death, you know, popular horror movies with Final Destination.

I think it's something that every human, whether or not you think you're afraid of it, you might be on your deathbed. We just don't know. What's your guys' favorite Final Destination movie, by the way? First one. Mine's three. Mine's two.

Okay. Whoa. It actually might be the latest one for me. I don't care for those movies, but. Okay. That one was doing something. It was cooking a little bit. I like the Mary Elizabeth Weinstead one.

Yeah. She's great. She brings so much to it. She just, it's such a funny contrast between her and every other actor in that movie. It's great. Yeah. Two has the best setup, I think. The logs into are the best.

That's the log truck one. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we're going to get into some deaths that seem kind of final destination. but they all involve animals and we're not going to really spend a lot of time on any of these stories so we're going to leave some meat on the bone is what I'm trying to say so listeners at some point you may hear one of these stories again with like a much deeper dive we recently did that that's another story we need to tell the listeners like our recent

polar bear episode Mike had done on a subscriber story and I leave you guys alone for one week, you steal my story, you insult me, and I come back. When you told that story, I said, we'll probably do this as a main feed episode someday, and we did. All right. Okay. This list comes with a big old warning that some of these stories. Was Jeff paying attention for that?

Would have been funny? Yeah. Well, actually, I don't even remember the first time we told it. This list comes with a big warning that some of these stories are pretty old, some of them even thousands of years old. So take them with a grain of salt. Even the ones that are a little bit more modern, just realize that none of these are very new stories. And because of that, we're going over them as they were recorded.

There's probably some myth and apocryphal things that have kind of crept into some of these stories. So just take all of them with a grain of salt. Okay. We're going to start with Heratoclus or Heraclitus. Heratilic. Yeah. Heraclitus. If they're listening, we apologize.

Yeah. I doubt he's listening. He was a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher who, by all accounts, was a pretty weird dude. Sounds like he was pretty good at annoying just about everyone he came in contact with. So he was known as the obscure because of his cryptic teachings, and he was also called the Weeping philosopher because he was pretty melancholic. He was like very sad and like talking about sad things. Today he's best known for saying you cannot step in the same river twice. because water's always moving, so when you step in a river a second time, the water will have changed.

Wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty smart guy. Yeah. How would you implement that in your day-to-day life, Jeff? I think, like, if I was, like, really good at sports, after a loss, I'd say something, like, some bullshit like that, you know? Yeah.

Like, if I was, like, an NFL quarterback. Herodically, once said. With four interceptions, and then they're asking me, like, what happened? I'd be, like, can't step in the same river. twice. That's well said. You did throw four interceptions. Tell the same story on a podcast twice.

You can tell the same story twice for sure. All right. Well, weird Greek philosophers really like to die in strange ways, and this guy really went for it. I'll set up the scene. Basically, he got so tired of people, and they got so tired of him, that he decided to go live a solitary life in the mountains. And when he did there, he did his best.

just to live on grass and herbs. So that's really all he was eating. Turns out it wasn't enough. And this new diet gave him dropsy. And dropsy is kind of the old-timey word for edema. So essentially, like, all of his tissues and whatnot swelled with fluid. So he's like, okay, I got to get out of the mountains. I got to go back down to civilization and try and find a cure.

But when he went to the physicians, rather than just tell them what he had, he presented them with a riddle and said whether Which you do, right, Sammy, when you go to the doctor? You don't want to give it straight to the doctor. You want to make them work for it a little bit. The doctor's like, what's wrong with you? And you're like, cancer my riddles three first. Anyway, what he said was whether or not the doctors were able to produce a drought after wet weather. So the doctors were confused what might be going on with him and they weren't able to help him.

So he decided just to take his matters into his own hands. And what he thought was, okay, if I rub a bunch of cow dung on myself, certainly when it dries, it'll suck the fluid out of my body and get rid of these bad humors that he had inside of him. So, quick spoiler, he ends up dying from this, but there is some debate over how it happens. Some people say he exfixated under this huge pile of cow dung. some say he baked himself to death in the sun trying to dry out all of this cow dung and then there's the reason why he's on this list some people say that he was ripped apart by feral dogs

while he was covered in this cow dung which seems like a particularly terrible death and why we included him on the list uh Sammy do you have any idea how dogs might kill their prey I mean with their tearing him tearing them apart with their jaws? Yeah, that's a pretty good guess. Not with like a knife or something?

No. They don't have, they're not an animal that has like claws or they do have claws, but they don't kill their prey with their claws. That question was so obvious, West, that you had like kind of tricked us into thinking that there was like a secret answer. We talk about big cats on this podcast and big cats will. dispatch their prey. They'll like strangle or separate vertebrae or they'll do something to kill them quickly. And what I was trying to get at here is that dogs don't do that. Dogs will literally do what

you just said, Sammy, tear them apart with their mouths. They're not trying to kill it quickly. They're just trying to tear it apart. So it's an especially horrible way to die. We talked about it last year with you with the wolf episode. It's not a good way to go. So that's why he was included in this. Oh, and also we're going to do seven total stories. And at the end, I'm going to have you guys say which were the three worst of these historical deaths. I think it's worse than being baked in cow dung. I was going to say, well, this one has three already. Yeah.

Maybe if he would have like rub dry cow dung on himself and then his water would have absorbed into it. It was a crazy plan all around. It's a bad point. It's a bad point. It's a bad idea. It means the water went into you. Right. It's a bad idea.

So if you have dropsy out there, first of all, Give it to the doctor straight. Tell the doctors exactly what's wrong. You don't need to give them riddles and then don't rub cow dung on yourself. Okay. We're going to move right along. Jeff, you live in England. You're living in England in 1703.

How worried are you about tigers? I'm probably more worried about how they travel back forward in time to get back here. Yeah, that's a good point. And you're concerned about not changing anything, too. Yeah, don't touch anything. Don't meet yourself. But yeah, I, you know, I wouldn't have tigers on the brain at all. Okay.

Well, if you worked at the White Lion Tavern in Malmissbury in 1702. I'd be worried about lions. Yeah, you shouldn't be. You should be pretty worried about tigers. According to accounts from the time, traveling menagerie. It's like a false front. make you feel comfortable that there's no tigers there by calling that lion. Yeah, it's a good point.

Well, it worked in this situation because the traveling menagerie was in the area. They were using the grounds at the tavern as a place to store some of their attractions, most notably a particularly ferocious Bengal tiger. And Hannah Twanoi was a 34-year-old barmaid that worked at this tavern, and apparently she got really bored at times, and as a distraction, she loved to harass this tiger. Sammy, do you think tigers are a good animal to pester and harass? It's a good question, Wes. Another singer. Another really tricky one. Another softball for Sammy. I'm going to go with no. I think it's probably about it. Yes or no. You're

right. I get it. You're right. Wow. Two out of two. Oh, gosh. You are right. It's a really bad idea. I can't believe Mike and Jeff are giving me shit for asking questions. every episode they'll do, they'll be like, hey, Jeff, what do you think about football? All right. That's a good question. I want to hear the answer. It's a really bad idea to harass a captive tiger. Anyone that's listened to our show extensively has probably listened to our first available

episode. They would know how poorly it can go. We talk about some kids in a zoo that harassed a tiger, and it was so determined to get them that it did get out, and it killed one of the other. them. Yeah, Tatiana, the Moore Tiger. Apparently, the guy that owned this tiger kept telling Hannah to stop, but she just had to get that fix.

You know, just had to arrest that tiger. Finally, this big cat, yeah, this big cat got so enraged that it managed to break out of its enclosure, and it made a beeline for Hannah, grabbing her by the dress, pulling her to the ground, and then tearing her to ribbons. She would be the first person to get

killed by a tiger in Great Britain, and a silver lining was that she would get a headstone because her death was so strange. Because at the time, people that didn't have, like, a certain class or money or whatever, they generally weren't given headstones. And her headstone was actually engraved with a poem, which I'm going to read for you guys. In bloom of life, she snatched from hence. She had not room to make defense.

For Tiger Fierce took life away, and here she lies in a bed of clay until the resurrection day. That's kind of sick. Which is great. Yeah, that's cool. That's why they gave her the headstone. They just thought of the rhyme first. Yeah. And they were like, this is too good.

Yeah. The local whoever does, it's like, I got some bars, actually. I wonder what I want. I need to plan out what I'm going to have on my headstone. Have you guys thought about that at all? Like, what? No. I don't want a headstone, I don't think.

You're not just want to be cremated and dispersed. I want just to be like, here's this guy who now is dead. That's good. Come on. I mean, sounds like Hannah didn't get to pick hers. Maybe I'll just, you know, let someone else riff. Sounds like that a good time. Some British poet.

A poem would be cool. Do you know what I want on my headstone is, because they always give the dates, which you lived and died by. So it'd be like 1988 to like 2,500. That'd be sick if I live that long. All right. So that's story number two. I hope you guys can keep these all in your heads.

All right. Can you just make up on your headstone how you died? Could I say, like, here lies Jeff Larson. He was bitten by a zombie and then killed by his tribe of people because they didn't want to get infected? I would imagine so. Yeah. Who's going to stop you? I feel like.

The headstone police. It might have laws against. Arrest me. Did you see that episode of, sorry, Nathan for you. No, you're good. where he helps a woman with like a pet adoption place by buying a headstone at a pet cemetery and being like, get your next pet by going to this pet adoption place. I think I missed that one.

The people at the pet cemetery get really upset. So there is known to be some pushback at a cemetery based on what's on the headstones. And if they get upset with Mike, he'll lose his shit. That's the problem, too. Oh, I'll be so mad. Relax and let Ralph's delivery handle your grocery shopping this week. We start with only the freshest items, then review your list and carefully choose each one. Then we pack it all up and deliver it in as little as 30 minutes,

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Mike, what's your favorite scene in Return of the King? Or at least your favorite when you first saw it in theaters? Bose. When Sam faced down, she love, of course. Okay. That's not the answer I wanted. I'm going until I get it. Jeff, what was your favorite scene? I like when they finish that little bit of water and then they fall over and then it like turns

into a painting. All right. I'm not. It's definitely not what I was looking for you. You're not going to get it over here. Sammy? Okay. All right.

I think a lot of people's favorite scene when they first saw that movie is kind of a silly one now, but it's where Legulus kills the Oliphon, where he like, runs up on top of it, shoots the arrows into its head, slides down its trunk, and lands. When I first saw that movie, I loved that scene. Yeah, it was a great scene. It's a crowd pleaser, yeah. That's a good one. That's like, that's not even top 10, dude. All right, it's also a great scene. It only counted as one. That's also the part where Yomer, Yomer? Eomer. What's this? Aomer. Yeah, Eomer throws the spear and- He killed like 10 people.

Eomer throws the spear and kills the guy that's riding the oliphant, and he steers it into the other one, and they both type. Also a great scene. Well, that pretty much happened in 162 BC, but with some slight key differences that we're going to get into. This was a time when the Greek empire was spreading, and a group of Jewish rebels named the Maccabees were fighting against the Greeks, and their battles were being led by Judas Maccabaeus,

but these Jews were fighting against some really steep odds, You see, the Greek army had a lot of infantry. They had a lot of cavalry, and then they had 80 war elephants. So war elephants are exactly what you're picturing. They're big elephants that were decked out in armor, and that soldiers would ride to fight enemy troops. Wow, they'd ride on them. So when the Maccabees first encountered these elephants, they were pretty intimidated, and their troops began to flee. So the brave brother of Judas Maccabeyas, who is named Elieazar Avaran, decided to prove that these elephants were not invincible.

He rallied his men, and then in a heroic act of bravery, he charges headfirst towards the nearest war elephant, flings himself under the huge animal, and stabs his sword upward into the belly. Also kind of like Lord of the Rings with Shellab. Here's where the story differs a little bit from Lord of the Rings. the real-life war elephant proceeded to immediately stomp him into oblivion in front of his horrified men, killing him instantly. So his charge did not have the attended effect, and the Maccabees would retreat, and they would go on to lose this battle against the Greeks.

Yeah. That's crazy. Do you think he got covered in elephant guts and stuff, too, while that was, like, did he slice open the belly and then... At least some blood. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't a good death, but it was quick. It'll be quick, yeah.

But really embarrassing. Yeah, if there's one thing I had to guess about being stomped by elephants. It's quite quick, yeah. That's crazy we don't still, like, do that in the military. Have elephants? Yeah. No way, dude. The second punic war works.

You know Hannibal, he tried to use elephants. That didn't work. It was to poor effect. There was actually, after these battles, there was actually like a resolution drafted that they couldn't use elephants anymore. Like it's cheating. They were like too, it was too effective and scary. Yeah.

Too effective. Which is pretty wild. Yeah. Wow. All right. So Judas Maccabeyas. No, sorry. Eliazar, his brother is our next death.

So keep that one in mind. All right. Do any of you know what a boom slang is? What Ash uses is an evil dead? Just kidding. That's boom stick. Boomstick. Close.

Boom slang. Boom slang. Not a Pokemon. Jeff, do you have a guess? Is it kind of like what David used to kill Goliath? Also not. Slang? Close.

It's not. The slang shot? It's a snake. It's a snake. It's a snake. It's a particularly venomous rear-fing snake from Africa. They're green. They're beautiful.

And there's a reason that rear-fing snake. fang snakes are often a little bit less feared among venomous snakes. And that's because they really have to bite you to deliver their venom load. So because of that, they'll often deliver a dry bite or they just like won't really bite you hard enough to really inject any venom. If you're a survivor fan, you probably recently saw a guy get bit on survivor by a rear fang snake and it didn't deliver any venom. So that is common among these snakes. And because of that, in the 1950s, herpetologists were working with rear fang snakes, they kind of were a little bit more careless with them.

They thought that maybe they weren't that dangerous. We're still learning a lot about venomous snakes. And that's kind of the background to this next story. Well, you just said they're not as dangerous. They are. It's just you, okay, you're right. They're not as dangerous, but they deserve as much respect as any other venomous snake. And they're highly venomous.

They can get you pretty good stuff. You just got to get like a full mouth bite in order to be. They have to get a good bite on you. Can vampires dry bite? Sam, you've seen vampires do their stuff probably, right? They have to be able to bite without turning, right? I think so. Yeah.

I feel like that's pretty common vampire lore that they have to like, because a lot of vampire movies you have to drink their blood to get turned. Right? Like Lil John in a vampire movie. And Sammy, how do you think a rear fanged snake bites someone? Shut up. With its mouth. Good job, Sammy.

All right. So the most famous victim of the boomsling was unfortunately someone who knew very much about them and knew much better than to be careless. And that was Dr. Carl P. Schmidt of the Field Museum. of natural history in Chicago. He's a herpetology legend. He really advanced the science in a long way during his life, but we're actually going to be talking about his death. So in September of 1957, a colleague sent him a live snake that he was having trouble identifying. Schmidt almost immediately recognized it as probably being a boomsling, but one that was quite young and therefore didn't have some of its more noticeable characteristics. Because this is a rear-fank snake, and because it was a

younger specimen. He wasn't very careful when he was handling the snake and it bit him on the thumb. This is where the story gets a little bit more interesting and why I decided to include it because he's a scientist. He's obsessed with snakes. So what does he do? He decides to create this journal of every symptom that he feels during this process of being built by this boom sling.

Yeah. So he kind of journals his own death. Like coyote Peterson kind of back in the... Yeah. Yeah. this is a, I guess in a way, I think everyone that keeps a journal in a way is

eventually will have journaled their own death, you know, kind of. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I thought you were going to say is, in a way. Interesting. Copy and coyote Peterson. Yeah, not copy and coyotes. All right.

So he really didn't have that much information about the effects of boomsling venom, and he really wanted to document it. And so what we end up with is this diary of someone being. killed by a gnarly kind of snake venom that makes you uncontrollably bleed from your mucus membranes. So at about 4.30 p.m., he says he has strong nausea, but no vomiting, as he takes the train to his house. At 5.30 p.m., he starts to feel a strong chill and a fever, and his body temperatures

over 101 degrees, but more concerningly, his gums start to bleed profusely. At 8.30 p.m. eats two pieces of milk toast, which is disgusting, and I just... wanted to include that. Do you guys know what milk toast is? Our cousins would eat that. I don't actually. You just make toast and put it in like warm milk and then eat it. Like the sloppy toast.

Yeah. Brent eats it, Mike. I know exactly. Our cousin didn't toast it. He would just put like white bread and milk. That makes no more sense. Milk bread. But the milk is negating the toast part.

Yeah. That's like the Joey chestnut move with the hot dog month. Maybe it's like croutons. Yeah, just kind of like. Yeah. So soggy? Yeah. Just like a soggy crunch.

Soggy crunch. Yeah. All right. So like a, I'm back on. Yeah. That's basically cereal at that point. Yeah.

All right. He falls asleep at 9 p.m. And he actually sleeps pretty well until 12.20 a.m. At 12. At 12.20 a.m. he gets up to pee. And he remarks that his pee is almost all blood. But he goes back to sleep. At 4.30 a.m. he wakes back up.

Is he just like resigned to dying? No. He thinks that this is, He thinks this is just kind of a mildly venomous rear fang snake that's not going to do much to him. He has no idea what he's in store for. All right. So at 4.30 a.m. he wakes up to drink some water and he immediately vomits up all of his milk toast.

Don't you hate that? Isn't that the worst? Same texture coming back up. Exactly. You don't know what's milk and what's toast at that point. Then he feels better and he falls back asleep until 6.30 a.m. At 6.30 a.m., his temperatures come back down a bit, so he's feeling like he's kind of out of the woods, eats breakfast, and then he goes to pee again, and now it's like an ounce of blood.

It's just blood now. There's no urine whatsoever. His gums start bleeding again, and his nose starts bleeding, but not excessively, just kind of a slow leak. He decides not to go to work, and around lunch that day, he starts vomiting uncontrollably, calls his wife and then when he's found by emergency personnel not long after he's soaked in sweat he's nonverbal and he's profusely bleeding

from his eyes and then when they later do an autopsy on him his kidneys his lungs his heart and his brain were also all profusely bleeding he's rushed to the hospital but he's pronounced dead on arrival boomslangs and rear fang snakes

are now much more respected than they were at the time not to get ahead of ourselves but this one's pretty bad this one's pretty bad I'm keeping this one in mine This is a dark A dark horse for your top three Later yeah

Okay Just you wait for the real bad one Yeah there's three more right So yeah And who can say Yeah What he would have wrote If he had like one more paragraph

He could have wrote in his journal at the very end This is actually quite bad I do regret this Full of blood There were no dusters around that he wanted to tell any riddles to? Yeah, exactly. Well, apparently, and I don't know if this is true or not,

but like toward the end of this, when the doctors arrived, he still refused help because he felt like at this point, just knowing what happens was more important than him, like, being safe or whatever. Yeah. True scientist. Yeah. All right.

I wouldn't do that. I also would not do that. I don't think so. I don't think they had anti-venom at this point, but I'm not sure. Yeah. So they would have to suck it out, the old fashion way. He did try to suck it out immediately when the snake first bit him.

Yeah. Oh, geez. You're peeing blood. That's not good. Sheesh. All right. You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet.

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But too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back. Price Line is here to help. you make it happy. With millions of deals on flights, hotels, and rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com. Actual prices may vary, limited time offer. Okay, our next one's a really bad one. So, I didn't want to do this one. And Jeff, you may recall that in the early days of our podcast, You did an episode on ancient execution methods involving animals.

And we actually sat on it for a while. You were like, we can't put this one out. And then one week we just didn't have an episode. Well, we can do Jeff's animal. Jeff's terrible episode. Ancient execution methods in general, really bad. I've not aware of the animal version one. So, yeah, they're not good.

I found another one. It's really gross. So gross, in fact. that there's debate whether or not it was actually used, but the depictions of it are so detailed and there are a few historians from those times that included these depictions that I do tend to think this was used. So have you guys ever heard of the term of scafism?

Yeah, I have. No. Okay. Scafism's pretty bad. It's pretty sweet. A soldier named Mithridates is said to have been killed using escapism in the Persian Empire in about 500 beats.

see, and his story is actually pretty tragic. So this soldier, he heard that Cyrus the younger, the brother of the king Arda Xerces II, was plotting to kill the king. So this guy hears that the king's brother is trying to kill the king's brother, and he decides to kill the king's brother. The king is grateful, and he tells this soldier not to tell anyone because he wants to take credit for killing his treacherous brother, and Mithridates, I'm going to say Mithridates. That's probably wrong, but that's how it's spelled, says that he's not going to tell him. Jeff talked about this guy. Really?

Yeah. I remember us talking about Mithridates and Skafism, but it doesn't matter. Okay. All right. So I'm doing it again. Two episodes in a row. It's not to me. It's going to me.

It's going to me. I'm repeating stories. Yeah. Okay. All right. So we may have talked about this before in Jeff's episode. I'm not sure. But anyway.

We'll leave Mike saying that. I think. Mithridates says that he's not going to tell anyone. The king says, I want to take credit for killing my brother. And Mitherdate's, like, fine. You know what? That's cool with me. No big deal. Then he gets drunk and he starts boasting about how he killed Cyrus and the king hears about this and he's pissed. And it's making him look like an idiot. So he says, you know what? We're going to do scafism. We're going to kill

Mithridates with scafism. So what scafism is essentially you take the person and you put them in a small boat. Their holes cut for their head, their arms, and their legs. Then you put another boat that looks the exact same on top of that person. So both of the holes of the boat are pointing outward. Sammy, what's the hole of a boat? We talked about this on the episode I did on your show. This is going to stump me. This is actually a tricky one.

Yeah, I've known. The hole is the bottom. It's like the keel of the boat and the hole of the boat. Yeah, the hole. I thought you said a hole. Like, no. Sorry, you knew this. We talked about this on Too Scary didn't watch.

Yeah, yeah. I knew. I would have known. So basically this person looks like they're like... Brack, they just edited it to make Sammy seem smart. This person looks like they're in a beetle suit where their head is sticking out of like two boats, their arms are sticking out, and their feet are sticking out.

But that's it. Okay? Once they do that, they nail these boats together and then they do something pretty terrible. And I don't really want to describe this in my own words. So I'm going to quote a 12th century story. when I said it. When Jeff said this a long time ago.

All right. Next they pour a mixture of milk and honey into the wretched man's mouth till he is filled to the point of nausea, smearing his face, feet, and arms with the same mixture, and so leave him exposed to the sun. This was repeated every day, the effect being that flies, wasps, and bees,

attracted by the sweetness, settle on his face in all such parts of him as project outside the boats, and miserably torment and sting the wretched man. Moreover, his belly, distended as it is with milk and honey, throws off liquid excrements, diarrhea, and these putrefying breeds of swarms of worms, intestinal, and all sorts. Thus, the victim lying in the boats,

his flesh rotting away in his own filth and devoured by worms, dies a lingering and horrible death. Nell. Oh, yeah, that one's bad. Candy man. Candyman wouldn't have even. cared, you would have been like, this is actually kind of cool, all these bees. Or Winnie the poo.

He does love bees. He does love bees. He does love these. Punish and just getting rub down with honey. Yeah. Their outside limbs are eaten by all these insects on the outside, and then on the inside, and then on the inside, and everything, they're eating them on the inside of this boat, because they're purposely making them shit themselves.

What do we think is, like, the actual ultimate cause of death? It is, according to. to these historians, it's being eaten alive by worms, like maggots and stuff. Really? Dehydration after a couple days or something? No, because they would purposely keep them alive by giving them more milk and honey. Well, yeah. Yeah, of looting the diarrhea.

Yeah. That's too bad. It's a terrible way to die. They were so inventive back then. They really did a lot of so many steps to these. I wonder like what point he proved to. it's like, okay, so obviously that guy killed his brother. He's like pissed out of him saying that.

Right. Yeah. And that guy saved his life. That's the worst part of it for me. He's just win with his brother. Yeah. This seems like one of those methods of execution where it's like, actually, did you know in Minnesota it's still allowed to be put to death by scafism? Yeah, right. You know?

Right. They haven't technically outlawed yet. Yeah. Well, and I just like how. Let's go, Minnesota. I remember telling that part. I think you did a good job telling like the more backstory behind it. I don't think I got the whole betrayal talking about it thing.

But I just like how you went from we can't put that out to we have to put that out twice. I'm sorry, all right? We've been doing this for a while now. Okay. So he apparently he suffered for 17 days in the. boats before he finally died, which you know shows him to save the king. All right, this next one's a little spooky as well. It might trigger some particular fears in some of our listeners.

So if you're very terrified of rodents, you might want to skip this one if you have like an irrational fear of rodents, but it's a good one. In 1875, the Manchester Evening News reported on a death that happened at a South London factory. A woman was working at a table when suddenly she shrieked because a small mouse had ran onto the table and scared her. A nearby man who was working in the factory ran to help this woman. He grabbed this skittering rodent in an act of gallantry, and a shining moment quickly turned sour

when this mouse ran up his sleeve, and when he opened his mouth to gasp, it ran into his mouth and disappeared down his throat. Oh, no way. I guess it kind of looks like does the mouse holes in like the walls. Yeah, like a Tom and Jerry mouse wall. Where was this happening? This is in South London

His mouth Oh I was going to say Yeah Had some cheese in there or something Apparently at the time There was some discussion Whether or not a mouse

Could kill you by running into your mouth And the Manchester evening news reported that day That a mouse can exist For a considerable time Without much air Has long been a popular belief And was unfortunately proved

To be fact in the present instance For the mouse began to tear and bite inside the man's throat and chest, and the result was that the unfortunate fellow died after a little time in horrible agony. What the heck? That happens in Terrifier 3. Really?

Yeah. Oh, so I'm telling this one again, too. It happens in another one too where they're like forced. Well, it kind of happens in too fast, too furious. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Which is like a terrible movie and then all of a sudden just has like the coolest. The worst torture scene.

The new Batman movie, too, where he puts the rat cage on the guy's head, the newest Batman. Yeah. That's bad. I love rats, but I wouldn't want to be killed by rats, yeah. No. No, we have yet to do our rat episode. The book, 1984, too, that's one of the ways they get in people. All right.

Well, this happened in real life. Stewart Little, too, I think it happened. So wait, Terrifier 3. Art the clown It seems like he would only He wants to be the guy killing everyone So does he just let these mice have one of his victims Or is it like a rivalry

No he like builds a contraption That it's like a long Tube that he shoves down a woman's throat And then has the rats crawl into it As he does his little silent laughing Yeah I think he deserves credit for that Not it's a team effort What if the woman was like

No the rats Help me art At least it was an old woman Wait, it was an old woman I don't think it's she's that old I'm just making that up then Sorry, all right In his mind he's just picturing an old woman

Okay You were hoping Oh gosh Speaking of old women How old how scary do you guys think mummies are On a scale of one to ten Mommies So mummies are weird

Because they're real Right? Right. So like a scary mummy though. So that gets some points too, just right off the bat. But they're like tiny, right? For me it's like a four. They're all shriveled. Raisins.

They do kind of look like the California raisin men. They're all just like... They're kind of just a zombie. But like they're one with special powers. But like dressed modestly, which is nice. Yeah, I feel like they're not that scary just because they don't seem very realistic or possible. Yeah. But like if it was like actual mummies, they'd be like top, scariest.

I was going to say, yeah, I'm not like worried about them in my day to day, but if I'm putting myself in the headspace of being in a place with a mummy with supernatural powers, then yeah, we're pushing 10 there. Okay, that's true. They can do like plagues and stuff. Well, for me, their curses are much scarier than the actual mummy. I think that's what you guys are saying too. And one of the most famous examples of a potential mummy curse happened to George Herbert, their fifth Earl of Carnivon.

And Sammy, there's something you hate even more than mummies that's in this story. Oh, my God. Don't tell me. Earls. All right. So Lord Carnivon was a rich dude in the early 1900s, England, who, like a lot of rich dudes,

had the time and the money to do some pretty extreme hobbies. He really liked horse racing. and he got super involved in that. And then with the advent of the motor car, he got really into motor car racing. He was a keen motor car driver, but in 1903, he suffered a serious accident in Germany and he never fully recovered.

You think like Seabiscuit back then would have dominated? Would it be like Michael Jordan playing in like those early basketball videos just putting like Seabiscuit out in those horse races? Yeah, right. Probably. Wasn't Seabiscuit back then? wasn't C-Biscuit in like the early 1900s? Or is C-Biscuit more?

No, I thought he's recent. Okay. I don't know. I'm not up to date on my racing horses. Yeah, I don't think that was the real to reason. Okay. Basically, he got hurt in a motorcar accident. As doctor said, hey, no more motorcar is time for a new hobby.

And from then on, he and his wife, Lady Carnivon, decided to spend their winters in Egypt. And there he became a very enthusiastic. amateur Egyptologist. We've all went through our Egypt phase. This guy just never got out of his. And he was actually like trading in antiquities and digging for things. He got really into it. So he started excavating tombs of nobles near Thebes, Egypt. And he employed British archaeologist Howard Carter to help him. Their main goal, and pretty much the main goal of every Egyptologist at the time, was to find the fabled tomb of the boy king Tutankhamun or King Tut. He was one of the one of the most ancient pharaohs, or one of the most famous ancient pharaohs, and he was thought

to have died of malaria at the tender age of 18. Let's put a pin in that, that malaria death. Okay? All right. In 1914, Carnival got permission to dig in the Valley of Kings, which to me seems like the right place to dig if you're looking for King Tut. His work was interrupted by World War I, and then he resumed in 1917. But in 1922, they really hadn't found much, and carnivon, like most rich dudes again with a new hobby, was starting to get a little bored. So he said this would be the last year that he would dig, and in November of 1922, he got word that his team had found something exciting,

a tomb that was still sealed, so it was still completely intact. He accompanied his daughter, Lady Evelyn Herbert, a quick little trivia here. Her name's Evelyn, and if you guys remember the movie The Mummy, Rachel Vice's character is named Evelyn, and she's named after his daughter. This is kind of like a homage to this story. Wow, they really did their research. Yeah. So they went to Egypt and they arrived in November of 1922. They were both present the next day when the full extent of what they had discovered was revealed. And they saw that there was a seal containing King Tuts Cartouche, which is like kind of his, I think like his mark found on the

outer doorway. This door was removed and there was a corridor behind that was cleared and then there was the door to the tomb itself. So basically at this point to open this tomb, what they needed to do to go down the proper steps was to get this like Egyptian authority to come and to be present as they opened this tomb because there was likely to be artifacts inside that were, you know, the technically like the property of the Egyptian government. So they needed to have permission to actually enter the tomb. But they could see through a little like peephole. And Richard Carter, his, his archaeologist was like, there's some wonderful things inside, pretty much. He got really stoked. So they secured the tomb, and it was to be entered the next day in presence of this Egyptian Department of Antiquities.

But that night, Carter, his assistant, Lord Carnarvon, and Lady Evelyn, made an unauthorized visit to the tomb, becoming the first people in modern times to enter the tomb of King Tate. Some people even think they entered the inner burial chamber. Can't do that. Yeah, shouldn't have done that in my opinion. There's curses in there. Yep. All right.

At least one. So then they take part in the official opening of the tomb and they're probably like, whoa, this is crazy. Oh, it's our first time here. Yeah, exactly. So crazy. Wow, it really is King Tut's tomb. This is neat. All right.

And later, the burial chamber wasn't opened. It was indeed full of thousands of them was spectacular. treasures and artifacts that you could ever imagine. If you've ever been lucky enough to see these in a museum, they're absolutely spectacular. I'm really excited to go to the Louvre and go see like the Napoleon's wife's crown. Yeah, I really am so excited. I got bad news for you, buddy. Yeah.

What? Jeff's just been saving his whole life for his fresh jewels trip to the Louvre. Devastated. So the work to unearthed the entire tomb and all the treasures was ongoing in March of 1923, when one day, without even noticing it, a tiny insect landed on Lord Carnivon's cheek and inserted tiny proboscis into his skin and drank his blood. What? This insect was, of course, a mosquito. If he didn't notice it, how do we know?

Just we know. I'll get to it. It was much like the one... Did the mummy tell him? that had probably given the malaria virus to King Tut thousands of years earlier. Mummy mosquito? Much like the one. Yeah, this is a mummy mosquito.

That'd be cool. All wrapped up. And it had started a process of events that would kill this man who'd broken the seal on King Tut's tomb. I wonder how much faster you'd become like mummified with mosquitoes in there. A little bit. Oh, yeah. Like those scare beetles in the mummy. Sammy, how do we feel about mosquitoes?

in general. We despise them. We hate them. We want to crisper them out of existence. Personally, Wes and I are on differing ends of, have different opinions about this, but I really hate them.

Yeah. I did read recently that there was some studies that people think if we got rid of mosquitoes, it wouldn't substantially impact any animal that feeds on mosquitoes. I tend to disagree with that. I don't, I have a hard time. A lot of flies in the world.

What do you think about crispering them to not be able to bite? I think it's cruel. No, you're not crue to a mosquito? Yeah. Where do they rank in your favorite animals all time? Me? They're probably like 4,000 or something. I don't like them.

It's kind of high. I think there's like 5,000 species. Yeah, I don't like them. Actually, they're probably in my body. I think they serve their purpose. Okay. And their purpose might be mummies. I was thinking about how being like itchy forever would be one of the worst things that could ever happen.

And I'm curious if that's where this is going. That's not what happened to this guy. Itchy to death. Just scratched all of his own skin off because he was so itchy. That'd be bad. That's where at the start of the episode where Wes was saying like, death's one of the scariest things. It's like, I don't know, being itchy forever. It's scared.

It sounds way worse. Do you think that's why the mummies wrapped themselves so the mosquitoes can't get them? Nice. Great question. Maybe. I mean, it killed their guy, you know? What happens if a mosquito bites you and you have, I don't know, something in your blood that's bad? You got, you get them that way.

Bit him on the cheek. Wait, sorry, what was that, Mike? I don't know. I was just. I interrupted. Like, what if you had, like, HIV or something? And I, that's not, I'm not trying to, like, be. funny. Does that, would that affect

a mosquito? Or not really, because they're transmitting diseases anyway. Like the mosquito gets HIV? Yeah. We don't, I don't think we transmit any diseases to mosquitoes. Well, if you had sex with a mosquito and you have great question. Great question. All right.

I'm not trying to be funny. Sammy's like, finally I got the question I wanted. All right. Two good and co-copy Creamers are made with farm fresh cream, real milk, and contain three grams of sugar per serving. That's 40% less than the 5 grams per serving in leading traditional coffee creamers for a rich, delicious experience. Whether you enjoy your coffee hot, cold, bold, or frothy, two good

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Lord Carnivon was shaving, and the raised itchy bump from the bite caught the edge of his razor. His razor, and he sliced into himself cutting his face. A shaving cut is no cause for alarm. This is something that probably would have happened a lot back in the day with a straight-edge razor. I don't know why he can't say razor. That's a tough word.

But, Moderal or a razor. Unfortunately for Carnivon, the car crash decades earlier had left his immune system weak and unable to cope with unfamiliar infections. And a terrible skin infection took hold around this cut. quickly poisoned his blood and led to an inflammation in his lungs and then severe pneumonia. He died two and a half weeks after being bit by this mosquito. So pretty quickly, this all progressed.

Two and a half weeks is pretty quickly? I mean, are we feeling... For an infection. Are we feeling bad that whole time, though? I think we're feeling pretty bad. He's got like a bad rash and an infection. It's a lot longer than being stomped by an elephant. That's true.

Yeah, I'm not saying this one's particularly bad. But newspapers around the world had a field day with the news. Reporters as well as famous author Arthur Conan Doyle were quick to say that this was probably an ancient curse that had claimed his life. And this is really kind of where the idea of a mummy's curse begins. This is kind of where that whole idea starts with this story. All right. So we've got our seven deaths. I'm going to go through them really quickly for you guys.

We got covered in cow dung and eaten by dogs. killed by a tiger in a 1700s British tavern with an ironic name, let's not forget that, Jeff. Wild line. Stomp to death embarrassingly by an elephant in front of all of your fellow soldiers and your best friends, bitten by a boomsling and chronicling your own death as you bleed through your eyes and your brain,

scafism after saving the king's life, a mouse down your throat that then bites your organs and tissues and whatnot, Or the mummy's curse and a mosquito bite and cutting yourself. All right. So I want your top three. Let's start with your third worst first. We'll each do these in order. My third worst, I think, is the mouse down the throat.

My third worst is the, freaking, what is that? The cow dung dogs. All right, cow dung and dogs. If it's the dogs, that's what I was thinking for three. Okay, Mike's also one with cow dung and dogs. It is. Yeah, I'll just stick that one. That's what we're counting.

Okay. Sammy? I'm going mouse down the throat too. How many days of pain was that again? It wasn't very long, a few hours. A few hours. Yeah. It's tied between that and the mummy curse, but I'm factoring in that you'd be seen some cool shit when you're in the in the tombs and stuff.

Yeah. It's probably worth it. Yeah. So those two are tied for third for me. Okay. And probably his next big hobby was going to be like, racism or something, you know, an old guy in the 1900s. Sure.

Well, I mean, if he's cursed, he might not have gone to heaven. That's true. He might be in mummy hell. Right. All right, my second worst is going to be the boom slaying bite. I think bleeding out of your orifices and dying that way would be pretty terrible. So that's my second worst. Wes, I think we're going to have the same three because how could number one not be the same for all of us?

Yeah, that's my number two as well. bleeding out of the orifices sounds sounds really bad. Yeah, the roller coaster too, like thinking you're okay. I was going to say kind of the lack of urgency is stressful for me as a listener to the tail. I think I think I would have reacted a little differently if it were me and maybe it wouldn't have played out the same way. I tend to agree. That said, if it had to play out that way, that's my number two. All right.

Mike and Jeff, we, yeah, go ahead. I'm doing the milk and honey in the boat for number two. Skafism, number two. Okay. I like boats. I like honey. I like being on a boat. Right.

The herpetologist guy would have been like, hey, can you put some toast in that milk instead of honey? Yeah. All right, Mike, what's your number two? Oh, I'm going elephant stomp. That's so embarrassing. All your friends just laughing at you. It's absolutely humiliating. Yeah.

You know, for the rest of their lives, they're just shaking their head and laughing. And the high and the low of it, too, of being like, I just, oh, hell yeah, I've fucking did it. And then like just right back down to zero. Right. I kind of think that one's cool. I like that one. It's cool. It's cringe.

Yeah. All right. Me and Sammy said are number one. What's your guys is number one? Oh, scafism is like my, that's my most preferred one. I don't like the mouse crawling down the mouse in the throat I'm trying to eat its way out I'm going scafism number one of course

Of course okay It's the worst all right Okay well those are the seven deaths that you've never heard of Before listening to this podcast We've never talked about any of these things Which one's the best of those? I think the best one for me is the Or elephant maybe

Yeah the tiger you kind of go in history as a dick. That's true. That's true. It's embarrassing as well. There's been whole papers like written trying to disprove that it happened too, which is kind of annoying if people are like,

did this actually happen? It's like, did you read the poem? Yeah, I'll take the elephant one. That's cool. I mean, it's like, yeah, you got trampled, but it's like, that's pretty bossy, accent it, you know? No, wow.

Yeah, it's, it is legendary, yeah. If he had lasted more than like, One second. If he had maybe dodge rolled out of the way of one stomp and then gotten taken out, it's like, okay. He's trying to, he's making some moves at least. I would say that if he didn't stab the elephant.

If he, like, just ran up and got trampled right away, I'd be like, that's embarrassing. I do think the elephant died. So I kind of think he actually did some stuff. You got to do the Star Wars one where you have a rope and you run around the elephant's legs a bunch and trip it up. Then I'm like, yeah, you look really. stupid for like 10 seconds. But anyone did died.

Yeah. That's true. All right. Okay. I think that's like, well, we got our answers. They're locked in. Let's get on to our categories. You guys ready?

Yep. Okay. I want everyone to say a favorite death scene from a horror movie. One of your favorite death scenes from any horror movie. Oh my gosh. How can you even pick? Yeah. I forgot to send these to Mike and Jeff.

I'll go. I can go first. Um. The first one that comes to mind for me always It's not that it's the greatest death scene of all time But it was kind of the first one I saw that made me really go whoa This shit can be crazy And that is the in the movie you're next

Someone is killed by Someone plugging a blender into the wall taking off the glass blender part and slamming the blender part And slamming the blend of the blend blades down into the top of their skull and turning it on and blending their brains. Yeah. Yeah, I got to look to check that one out. That's created. Pretty, pretty memorable.

Yeah. Okay. My answer, I'll let Mike and Jeff think for a second more, is a movie that I hate, but I've watched it like three times is Bone Tomahawk. Mm. Where at the end these like kind of crazed zombie guys. just grab a dude and split him in half. Like they just like, yeah.

Wes, I hate to tell you, it's so much worse than that. Because first they scalp him and then they shove his scalp into his mouth and use a little like blade to hammer it to the back of his throat. That's right. That's right. And then they flip him upside down and use a bone tomahawk to cut him in half. That's what it is. Dick first. Not the penis.

No. It's so bad I just remember So I blocked some of that out Thanks for reminding me Sammy But I remember that movie You can't blame us for reminding For like this scene

85% of that movie It's kind of like a Yeah It's kind of like a Western Where like you're like Oh these guys are on like a fun Western thing And there's maybe a horror element And then all of a sudden it's just like

Oh this is the craziest horror movie I've ever seen Yeah Yeah That movie is quite upsetting. I want Dick last is how I want to go. Yeah. Also, because I think you'd die faster. If we're starting at the brain, at the head, I think that's going to be pretty fast.

Right. Okay. Mike and Jeff. Dick first, I don't know. I've got a couple that I'm having a hard time choosing between. I'm going to say Wes is going to be mad because any time I bring up a movie older than five years old. No one's ever heard of. Everyone's heard of the movie House, okay?

1977 Obayashi, a Japanese film. There's a piano scene, piano chomps the girl playing the... It's great. It's one of the most, just like really fun, funny movie. But I'm actually, my real answer is the first time I watched Psycho, I thought I had kind of had the whole movie spoiled for me.

Everyone knows the shower scene. So like, I got through that. I kind of know exactly how it was going to play out. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm through the worst of it. But then there's another death near the end of the film where it's this really weird, vertical camera shot right down by the staircase. And it's almost like a jump scare where Norman or his mom, we don't know anything at this point yet. But she pops out from one side and the

guy's walking up the stairs. And it's just like this really abrupt collision at the top of the stairs. And then he like falls down and gets stabbed. It was just like I was not expecting it. And I thought that like we were through the worst of it in the movie. And that scene just really, really got me. And it's lived in my brain ever since. It's really like an artfully shot scene. Yeah. I'm having a hard time thinking of a good one. The only thing I keep coming back to is Jack Nicholson in The Shining, just when he gets lost in the maze.

And then all of a sudden it goes to him and it's just like frozen face. Topical. Yeah. I have a runner up too that I wanted to say. The opening scene from Jaws is such a good death scene in a horror movie. You know, I think you can say that's a horror movie. But it's like so crazy that. you don't know what's happening to her, but you know it's so bad.

So that's one of my favorites as well. Sammy, what's your relationship to the 1988, The Blob? You've seen that? I haven't seen it. I just saw it. I play framed. It's like a daily game where it shows you frames of movies, and it was just the blog a couple days ago, and it made me want to see it.

So I haven't seen it. Should I? It's great. Strong recommendation, I think, from all three of us, right? I went to a bar by myself, the other. other day and I was just sitting there and this guy next to me I could hardly hear but he's like I hope you don't mind 1985 the blob is on. I was like what? And then he's like yeah I put it on and I just like watch I was planning on being there for like 10 minutes and I ended up watching

the whole movie and it's so good. The phone booth one was really good. The phone booth is so it's all I bring it up just to say that there are a lot of really fun deaths, and they're all practical, like the practical effects of the blob are really. A lot of smushing. A lot of smushing and gushing and a lot of acid. Yeah. Me and that guy got real into conspiracy theories as we were watching the block. Just a random guy at the bar.

It makes sense. There's a lot of conspiratorial stuff going on in that movie. I feel like in the Final Destination movies, there's a lot of smushing as well. And I do love this. I do love it. Smush. In Final Destination 2, there's one where someone gets absolutely panicked by a plate of glass that falls on top of them.

Just completely flattened. The most recent one with the trash compactor, Smosh. Yep. Oh, that's a good. Lots of smushing in those movies. Because that always stops in movies. You never get to see that. And we finally, we finally get to see it.

We did it. We made it. All right. I just want each of you to say a favorite thing about a favorite thing. It doesn't have to be your number one favorite thing about Halloween. You know, we got Halloween coming up. What's a favorite thing that you guys like about this season or the day itself? Whatever you want.

I like that it's a uniquely orange time of year. There's a lot of orange happening. And that's just not a color you see a lot of people dress up in or store shelves decorated with the color orange. It just seems to be like a couple of weeks you get a really distinct color. And then for the rest of the year, people are kind of, you know, we're not exhibiting orange as a species. I think it sticks around for in November here in the States. That's kind of a November color, too. That's true. I think you're right. And I agree. I think that's a really great, great color, great part of this time of year. Shout out orange, you know. Shout out orange,

yeah. Go ahead, Sammy. You go next. I mean, mine is going to be dressing up and seeing other people's costumes. I just moved to a house where I think for the first time in a long time I'm going to get trick-or-treaters and I'm very excited seeing everybody's costumes. Some people really go all out. I try to go all out but you have to really plan ahead if you've got kind of a big costume in mind and so what do you what's your costume this year? Yeah it's uh you guys are getting the exclusive we can believe this out if you don't have to tell us if you don't want to I'll tell you I'm going to be Kirsch from Alien Earth. It's a very very very specific reference. I'm usually a man for Halloween. It just works out that way, but I'm

doing it because I want to bleach my eyebrows. And it's the character played by Timothy Oliphant. Yeah. And it's part of a group costume with more alien earth references. So that's great. That's pretty cool. Are you so deep in it? Are you like a seamstress at all? Are you like getting your hands dirty making stuff or you just assembling? Well, last year I was a mosquito and I did do some crafting for that. I did sew some

legs and wings. It didn't look good, but it got the message across. Wait, Jeff, what's your favorite thing about how I was thinking it'd be funny for like trick-or-treaters, you know, where people have the buckets and it says like take one candy?

Yeah. I was thinking it'd be funny. you have just like a PEZ dispenser and it's like just take one and they have to like open the PEZ dispenser and take the PEZ out they'd be so mad that's a skip I we skip those I mean I've I would just say hmm I'll go and you can think about yours for me I've been thinking about this a lot because I feel like people's decorations have gotten like more elaborate and spooky and kind of like horrific and I really like that we're like whether or not you want to admit it like the U.S. was kind of founded on like Judeo-Christian beliefs and that undercurrent is kind of always here if there's like a certain propriety that people have to have. And I love that in Halloween it just gets dropped and that people really embrace like horror and evil and paganism and all these things that typically like are shocking to Americans. People are like proudly displaying and we just kind of leave that all. Like you'll be walking in Home Depot and you see a really scary horrific mask, you know,

and it's like, oh, that's crazy that that's just out and that people are all accepting this. And I really like it. So that's my favorite thing about Halloween is that everyone just kind of collectively is like, you know what, let's scare ourselves. Let's get kind of gross for a little bit. My friend has a two-year-old daughter who's really obsessed with babies. She has her little like baby dolls just to take care of the baby. and they went into a Halloween store

and apparently this year is big on like scary babies and so there are a lot of babies with like nails in their faces, bleeding and like eyes glowing. And they were really trying to keep her away from the scary babies. But eventually she saw them and she just laughed and laughed and laughed. She loved him. That's great. I love that. I mean, my answer is just the same as Sammy's honestly.

Like just seeing people dressed up in costumes is so fun. And like at BYU, we'd sit on the wall and just watch people all day in their costumes. And like going to parties, pretty good chance you can see a lot of cleavage from costumes. That's always sweet. What? What? It's true. Let's not pretend like that's not like a key feature of Halloween for a lot of people.

You don't like that? I feel like girls like that too. Sure, sure. You know, I'm sorry that I judged you. We all like that much, Jeff. We all like that. Cleaverage is fun sometimes. Sometimes. You just said you don't like the Judea Christian thing over everything. Here I'm talking about cleaverjure like you can't say that.

I know. I know. And I just talked about like scafism and all these terrible things. I'm clutching my pearls at all the age. All right. You're right. I'm being a hypocrite. Well, if you guys don't know this, Sammy is one of the three hosts, Too Scary Didn't Watch, which is a podcast all about horror movies. And Sammy is the horror movie fanatic out of the three. And Henley and Emily don't really like scary movies. So Sammy will watch them and recap them for her friends. So Sammy's a bit of a horror movie expert.

So I wanted to ask you, Sammy, three horror movies you've watched and that you recommend since we last had you on a year ago. Funnily enough, one of the ones I was going to recommend was House, the movie that Mike brought up. So I'll table that one because you've already been recommended it. It's great. You should watch it. Everyone. Please. It's good.

And this one's kind of for Mike. If I recall correctly, you are a Nicholas Cage fan? Big time. Oh, yeah. Have you seen Arcadian? I haven't. No. I got to check it out.

It's not the greatest horror movie I've ever seen. It's not reinventing the wheel or anything, but it's monster slash alien design is some of the weirdest, most unexpected I have ever seen. And I think some of the filmmaking is like very effectively creepy. And it did keep me on the edge of my seat. And a Nicholas Cage is in it. And so that's always like a huge plus.

I liked it. Yeah. Yeah. We almost watched this movie, Sammy, but our like terrible movie selection game that we use did not pick it. So we had to watch something else. But I was rooting for it pretty hard. And then I had to watch it by myself. I recommend it.

I thought it was a pretty fun kind of more of a like thrillery horror, but with just really, really impressive creature design. And also kind of like bonkers creature design. And there's parts of it where it's almost funny because you're just, it's unlike anything you've seen before in a way that makes you kind of guffaw. That is my lane entirely. That's what I'm here for. Yeah. Yeah.

The description that reminded me a little bit of the movie frailty. I don't know if you're with Bill Paxon. And you asked the two kids. One is kind of like a believer and one's more of like a non-believer. I don't know if that's much of it. I haven't seen frailty in a long time, but it comes up a lot from our listeners. and I'd like to rewatch it. But yeah, Nicholas Cage plays a father with two sons.

It's post-apocalyptic. They're living in a world where by day, everything is a somewhat idyllic post-apocalyptic, like farming, doing all your normal stuff. But then at night, the monsters slash probably aliens come out. That's not a spoiler. You don't really, it's never really explained. Great. Arcadian.

Arcadians on Hulu. Second one I'll recommend as cheating because I didn't watch it since last time I was on. But I watched it a couple years ago and I feel like I never have spoken to anybody else who's seen it. So I'm going for lesser known here. It's called Daniel Isn't Real. Wes, have you seen this one? Is this someone with the Schwarzenegger? It sure is.

I have seen this one. Yes. It's psychological horror came. in 2019, two Nepo Babies, Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins, who is Tim Robbins' son. Yeah, yeah. And Susan Strand's son. And also has Sasha Lane in it, who's really great. And this is one I went into knowing really nothing about it.

And again, just had an unexpectedly good time. I thought the performances were very fun if anybody has become a fan of Patrick Schwarzenegger since he was on White Lotus. I thought he was great in this, thought he was great in that. Yeah, I like this one too. And there was like some weird, like, cosmic horror elements in it. Yeah.

From what I remember, that were unexpected. I'd like to rewatch it because I haven't actually seen it in a while, but I was just kind of thinking what I could recommend that might be a little more under the radar. A little more under the radar. And then my last recommendation, Wes, I know you have seen this one, is Mads, a 2024 French horror movie. Have you guys talked about this on the podcast before?

We haven't talked about it. Nope. It's a all done in one continuous take. Oh. It's so impressively crafted and it's so stressful because of the facts like by the nature of the filmmaking style it is just like nonstop continuous. and things just keep getting crazier and crazier. And it was one of those movies that by the end of it, I like was so drained.

So I was so stressed for so long that by the end I was just like, oh my God. So if you're in the mood to get pretty scared and stressed, which I often am, check out Mads. That one's on Shudder. What's the title all about? Mads? I don't actually know. It's M-A-D and the S is capitalized. I don't know if it means something different in French,

but it's a great question that I don't know. All right. It's kind of, it's like in the zombie realm. Yeah. Great. Thank you, Sammy. Appreciate that. And now I'm going to move on to a really quick question that I have for all three of you.

Do you guys think Brendan Fraser or Rachel Weiss is hotter in the mummy? Oh, my gosh. I was just thinking that with Tim Robbins and Susan Sarendon. It's like that's a pretty equal couple. I think this one is even more equal. Yeah. Dang. For me, it's Rachel Weiss.

It's got to be Rachel. When I saw that, I was like, this is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Yeah. And Rachel, and she's still one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. That's not a dig at Brendan Fraser. He is still very hot. But the mummy, yeah, that's peak for both of them. Yeah.

It might be. It's a hard one. I mean, it's a hard one. I'd rather, I'd rather smooch Rachel if I'm being honest, you know. Yeah, so I got to go. I appreciate the honesty. Yeah. Thanks.

Okay. I mean, I got to know. I'll take Brendan then. Okay. Our sole Brendan pulled out. Yeah. I think he looks better in the whale, though. Yeah.

All right. So George, Georgia the Jungle, in my opinion. He is hot in that. And Cino Man, he's hot too. Okay, because I asked such terrible questions this whole episode, I am going, I cherry picked a lot of really good Halloween-themed episodes from our listeners, and we're going to go over a few more than normal on this episode. Yeah, sorry, what did I say?

Episodes. Episodes, yeah. We are going to do their entire episodes. No, questions. So we're starting with J. Gabs 94. Their question was, what's more terrifying? A bear with eight legs or a bear-sized spider. For me, it's a spider.

I think, like, a big spider is scarier than anything. And we kind of talked about how they would be, like, the number one predator on Earth. If there was big spiders. So, me, it's the big spider. Can I modify it a tiny bit? Sure. There's no rules here. The spider's bear size, but it has four legs.

And then the bear's bear-sized, and it has eight legs. I like that, yeah. How much does that decrease its frightening? Eight legs is scary. I don't say the bear. Yeah. I think I might too if I'm going to bear. They seem heavy too.

Okay. Sammy, what's your answer? Which one's scarier? Yeah. Bear-sized spider or bear with eight legs? Yeah, I'm going to go spider too because that's, they can like wrap you up. Yeah. They could like jump across the like whole, they could jump acres in a single jump probably.

Yeah. They'd just be super fast. Yeah. Okay. And they can still probably paralyze you, right? Can't some spiders, like, do it? Yeah, I mean, it happened to Frodo, you know? Yeah, that's what I did.

I think a bear wouldn't be able to move very well with eight legs either. I think you'd be able to, like, get away from it probably. Yeah, would it be like Goro in Mortal Kombat where it just kind of like stands up and has all these legs? Oh, yeah. Okay. A lot of people ask this. Maybe it has them on its back and it can like. They're just, that would be immobilized.

Yeah. Keep moving. Just rolls. That's scary. That's scary than the spider. Okay, a lot of people ask this, but this, I'm going to say Madison MASH Zero Zero, and everyone else said, What cryptid do you each believe the most in? And if none, which one do you wish was real?

For me, it's Skinwalkers. Skinwalkers are the one I believe in the most. They're almost more like, I don't even know if I'd consider them a cryptid, but that's what I'm going to say. What's a skinwalker? They're more, I think like a lot of indigenous mythology, They're included and you're not even really supposed to talk about them. Oh. Yeah.

So I'm not going to. But look it up. It's not convenient for Wes. Yeah. Yeah. He's struggling to come up with a good. No, I do know, but I'm not going to talk about them in detail. I'm just going to say they're the one I believe in the most.

Okay. I'm not supposed to even say what mine is. Okay. Then you shouldn't say that. Don't say it. Imagine a skin walker in Fight Club. Like, that'd be the biggest secret of the world. You know?

No one would be able to talk about any of that. Maybe, like, I'd do, like, a sea monster type thing, like, lockness, monster. Yeah. That's the one you believe in the most? Yeah. Okay. I don't believe in any of them.

I was going to say, I also don't believe in any of them, but I think something in the ocean, or I guess Loch Ness is lake. The Meg. But, like, like, mermaids, there's something down there that. That's... Okay. Yeah. I like that.

What's the... It's like a bear skunk in Florida pops up every once in a while or something like that. Have you ever heard of that? Sure. I just see a lot of stories pop up. in Florida's second to the ocean, the place where something weird's got. Seems realistic.

Yeah, from Romania. All right. This one's from the Haley underscore. Would you ever perform or participate in a seance or use a Ouija board? I have, and I would again. Ooh, I would do it again. Who did you talk to? Whatever spirits are in the room.

You just kind of open it. Did you get any answers? Oh, is that how it works? I mean, I did this in, like, middle school. I was pretty fond of my Ouija board. and I don't know, I guess I'm too confident about it now because I've played it a lot, so I'm not scared of it. Yeah, I did the mirror one.

What's the one where you like say the woman's? Yeah, Bloody Mary. Yeah. And it freaked me out. That one scares me a little more, yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'd do any of them, to be honest. I kind of just like don't want to open that up, even though it's probably fake.

I just don't want to mess with it. Yeah. I'll do it if I don't have to like leave my house very far. That's exactly what I think. It's like, but also you don't want to do it. You don't want to do it in your house though because then you don't want to invite them in. Maybe right outside.

I want you to bring the board. I want everyone to bring some like finger foods and some snacks like a little potluck. Let's make a whole night out of it. But I don't want to waste my night driving into some like weird basement outside the city limits or something. If there is spirits floating around in my house too, it's like I might as well talk to. That's true. Yeah. Maybe it's like a six cents.

I'm in agreement here because I think if I am like going to a place where a seance is happening that brings a level of validity to it or like professionalism to it, that makes it scarier. Because I too am picturing it in my house. I'm picturing myself as a teenager in the bathroom with Luigi board, which feels pretty safe. But if I'm going to the woods with practiced seance people, that's. I might not do that. What if it was at your house and all your friends were there and the ghost started saying something really embarrassing about you? Like it's like stop jerking and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, it's obviously faith.

This is obviously all fake. Let's just watch a movie. What are you, my mom? What are you, my bishop? Next question. Holes, Gans, and a lot of other people also ask this one. what is the scariest or spookiest animal call to hear at night while camping? Oh, that'd be owl, right?

Owls are spooky. For me, it's coyotes. Yeah. Like the screaming more than a wolves do. Yeah. Wolves are like haunting. Like a wolf howl is very like haunting and beautiful. Coyote like scream howls sound like evil to me.

Even though I don't think they're evil animals at all, their howls sound very like sinister. Or I just watched a movie with foxes at nighttime, and those also sound very scream-like. Yeah. And it's just, yeah, the not being able to tell if it's human or not is, I think, adds some scariness there. We had a fox scream in our neighborhood once that me and Jesse both woke up and thought a woman was screaming, like, in the road. And then we saw that it was a fox. That's a good answer. Maybe like a lion roar.

I'd be pretty scared. I'd be scared if I heard that, yeah. I was thinking along those same lines, like a T-Rex or something. T-Rex. Which is just like a lion with a koala, right? Yeah, that's what they used. Tiger lion, quavered on a humpback whale outside of your window. Okay.

Heck Haley and a lot of other people also ask this one. What would be the spookiest animal ghost? Ooh. I just, I wouldn't want a dog ghost. I feel like they wouldn't leave you alone. They'd always like... Like you don't want an annoying animal. You gotta get them treats all the time.

Yeah. Maybe like a shark ghost in your pool in the backyard or something? Shark ghost is where my mind went to. Yeah. Like, they're so beautiful to see swim around. It'd be cool just have a shark swimming in and out of your room. Right. I think I'd be friends with the shark ghost.

Yeah. They make a movie called shark ghost. Is there a shark ghost movie? Probably. Almost certainly. Certainly. Okay. Do you think they have to be in water?

I don't think so. My shark ghosts can go anywhere. So what? Our ghosts can go in the ocean as much as they were. I think so because you don't have to breathe anymore. Yeah. Why don't we do that as much? Why don't we just ask our ghosts what's at the bottom of the ocean?

Yeah, do a seance again real quick, Sammy. You ever think of that, James Cameron? We got to commune with the spirits. We got to whip out the Ouji Board. Tell me what's at the bottom of the ocean. I know you can go there. You don't need to breathe anymore. Even if you haven't been, go now and come back.

How true is the meg? Yeah. How true is the meg. Not true. Those billionaire ghosts. Those guys that blew up in that submarine are probably ghosts down there looking at the Titanic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, this one's from M Liz Sullivan.

For the third year in a row, what animal do you think would make the best zombie? For me, what I thought of, you guys are going to like this answer. A mosquito would make the best zombie because it would very easily pass around the zombie virus and you wouldn't even notice it. So for me, a mosquito would be very effective zombie. Because they'd like suck out of you. But they also, they don't like bite you. But they throw up inside of you.

That's what makes you itch. So mosquito for sure. I have a two. So my answer is a bee because the name would be funny. It'd be a zombie. And they pollinate all of our food, which means basically like the entire food chain is just going to be zombie. virus infection all over the way.

That would be effective. Yeah. Z? Come up with a better answer than that. I'll say, I mean, it's not better. It's obviously not better, but I'll say, based on Jeff's earlier point, I'll say dogs, just because they're kind of like everywhere already.

And I feel like they are always in our proximity. Or a T-Rex? Oh, my gosh. Or T-Rex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whales. A ghost shark zombies T-Rex, yeah

What's an animal just That kind of just gets worked all the time by everything Like a bunny rabbit A mule Maybe they'll give them something they can get back Get back a little, you know Antiosia I like that

Amanda 27441 What is a villain you believe you could take Like a horror movie villain Chucky Actually, no. So I rewatched the first couple Chucky movies. He is resilient.

You think you kill him and they do they put him through the ring or they burn him, they chop his head off, they do everything. Like, even at a certain point, I was like, okay, there's no way he can come back

like an eighth time. But he does in the same movie. It's crazy. Yeah. You got to put him into like a woodchipper or something. Yeah. Trash compactor. Probably still comes back.

Yeah. And you never know what's going to be a Chucky then. you know yeah right yeah you just made him more compact maybe he's gonna put his spirit into like your phone or your air pods or something you don't want chucky AirPods right all right uh i picked michael myers yeah he's so slow and he like lets you see him too yeah he's not discreet no so i just feel like you can't have sex he's kind of that's true yeah i'm good if you have sex he'll get you for sure.

All right. Can he have Michael Myers? What happens? I was saying. He's not one that punishes sex. That's Jason Vorhees, right? Jason's more the sex.

I think both kind of get some people having sex, I think. Sure. But like if Jason... Yeah, the first of my Halloween, the... Yeah, there's a... Girl's roommate and her boyfriend both get. You're right. Yeah.

You know your sex stuff. You're sex. You got it on lock. Yeah. All right, Sammy and Jeff, what horror movie villain are you squaring off against? I mean, I'll say that I do think I would die in every scenario. Thank you for specifying that. I don't think I'm super resilient in near-death situations, but I'm looking at a list right now.

and I'll go with Pinhead just because I'd like to see him and I think he's kind of hot. Yeah, cool. The whole BDSM thing kind of has you're thinking a little bit. Kind of a sexy way to go if I don't end up. Yeah, it's like your pain, you don't know. Yeah, sadomasochists from hell. Yeah, okay. I feel like I could take a house, like all those haunted houses.

Yeah. Just like how old. Okay. Any haunted house. Cast a spell inside of there and it's like they're gone now. All right. We're going to do a couple more. I liked this one from mandy.m.t Taylor.

One million dollars, the person you love most is buried alive with a 1% chance of not getting out. Do you do it? Wait, say it again. You get a million dollars, but the person you love the most has a 1% chance of being buried alive and they can't get out. Would you do it? Wait, they have a 99% chance of surviving is what you're saying. Yeah.

Yeah. So, no, they're not going to get buried. There's a 1% chance that they're going to be buried alive and they can't get out. The other 99% nothing happens. So they have a bag with the 100 rocks inside of it. If you draw the red rock, your person you love the most is buried alive and they can't get out. Yeah. Are you doing a shake?

In this economy, a million dollars? Nah. It doesn't go that far. I would do it just because I'm curious who the person I love most at this point in my life is. I just want to know. This scenario would reveal that to you, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it honestly might be one of you two for me. Right. And then it's like, even in that 1% chance if one of you die, me and the other person get to split tooth and claw 50-50 now. I'm still making money. Yep.

Yeah. Making more money. Like, I'll be sad. I didn't get the million, but I'll still be like happy about the extra percentage. I don't think I'm doing it. I don't think I could, that's like the worst possible thing ever. So, yeah. Okay.

All right. A couple more. Do you guys prefer the Scooby-Doo Scooby gang or the Buffy Scooby gang? Buffy. Yeah, Buffy for me. Buffy. The what? Jeff.

The Scooby-Doo. Scooby Scooby gang or the Buffy Scooby gang? Oh, I don't know. I refuse to answer. All right. We finally hit a point where Jeff's tired of listener questions. All right. One more then from Jeffrey Ward.

What animal gives you pumpkin spice latte vibes? Hmm. What animal? Squirrels. Yeah. For me, it's like a chinchilla. Squirrels I'm always more into in the fall. And that's how I am with pumpkin spice.

trees do you. I'll go with red squirrels everywhere right now. Ooh, Red Panda is a good pick. Red Panda's a good one. I was thinking more of like a kind of dog like a designer dog type of thing.

Yeah. Don't you think? Like one of those fluffy Pomeranians. Just, I don't like a doodle. Yeah. That's a great pick. That's the right pick. It's just because that's who's

in the photos with the pumpkin spice. Yeah. People. I've never had one. It's kind of cheating. Never tried one. They're okay.

I think they're okay. Great. Worth to try. I'm a big pumpkin flavor guy. Yeah. I don't know. Okay. You're not missing, you know, enough.

It'd be a lot weirder if you were. Yeah. Well, some people are. And you wouldn't try one. If I just loved pumpkin spice, but I, yeah. But you refuse to try a lot. Yeah. It's a good point.

Okay. Well, that's it for the episode. Sammy, thank you, as always, for joining us. Thanks, Sam. Like we mentioned earlier, Sammy's podcast is called Too Scary Didn't Watch. It's one of my all-time favorites. Do you got anything upcoming you want to plug?

When does this episode come out? This will come out on Monday. We are going to be doing a virtual live show on October 26th, our Halloween live show, where we're going to be recapping Antichrist, which I am very excited. Special guest Peter Thiel. Oh, my God, I forgot that. He's so obsessed with that. He had like a 10-minute tangent on it on a huge platform.

And we'll all be dressed up. It's going to be a good time, Antichrist. There's some really tough stuff in that movies that my co-host are not going to. They're not going to like that one. They're not going to like it at all. And I'm going to be just giddy. I think this will be our one and only plug for. Antichrist events.

And then recently we had Wes on for dangerous animals, the shark movie that came out this year, and that was super fun. So check out that episode as well. I loved that movie. I thought it was great. Yeah. Same guy is the loved ones, which is another great horror movie. And another like all-time or death. Yeah.

Or lobotomy. I was going to say, maybe they don't actually die, which is worse. Yeah. So. Okay. Well, thank you. Sammy. If you are itching for some more tooth and claw Sammy content, me and Mike are going to have Sammy on for a quick subscriber, no pants, horror movie roundup. I forget what we call it,

but we'll explain that, Sammy, once we start it. So yeah, if you've been looking for a good reason to subscribe, there you go. That's coming up a little bit. But thanks again for joining us, and sorry, guys, that I repeated another story. Yes. All right. We love you. See ya. Bye.

Bye.