Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks - Warthog Attack - With Friends Like Waylon the Warthog, Who Needs Enemies

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

Wes "The Warthog" Larson tells the sad and violent story of Austin Riley and his pet Waylon, a warthog who decided one day to turn his tusks on his caretaker and friend. Jeff reveals a somewhat tragic nickname he had when he was younger, and Mike might have made up a word. ~~ To advertise on the show, contact us! ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social:  Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wee, we welcome to Tooth and Claw podcast. We got Jeff Larson. If people think that's funny, I don't know what's funny. And then we got Mike Smith, who doesn't know what's funny, and we got our main host. I don't know if main host is interesting. I wouldn't say main host, yeah. Main animal expert.

I would. Wes Larson. Co-host. I'm here. Maine co-host. I'm in the U.S. I gave you the title. You could.

steal it. You guys are in France. France, as I like to say. That's why my joke was funny, Mike. Yeah, it was hilarious. I mean, it was just like a little cute thing. It wasn't like I was trying to get like roll on the floor laughing from that. Mike's, Mike's, I liked it. Irritable. There's not much AC in France. He doesn't like doing things. Has the sun been out? Yeah. Probably hasn't slept a ton. Yeah. Why is that, Wes? Why haven't I been sleeping? much. There's a good reason for that actually. Something that I wanted to bring up now. So thanks for segueing into it. We have had an extra amount of work on our plates lately. And it's something we're really excited about, something we've kind of had to keep a secret up until now, which is that we

are going to be the official companion podcast of the upcoming docu series on HBO called Chimp Crazy. Really, really excited about it. It's the same people that made tight. It's a story about people that own chimps privately and kind of the crazy twists and turns in their lives, some legal drama, just some really interesting moments in this documentary. It's really good. It's crazy. You love it. It lives up to the name Chimp Crazy. Yeah.

How hard do you think it was for them not to call it like going bananas or something like that? It must have been kind of hard. Yeah. How hard. was it? Yeah. Anyway. Extremely.

Five out of ten. Just for all of our normal listeners, what you guys need to know is that we're going to have four episodes coming out after each of the episodes of Chimp Crazy release. Those will be showing up

in our typical feed. They'll have special album artworks. You'll know that those are Chimp Crazy episodes. During that time, we're still going to be releasing our normal episodes. We're going to be doing our best

to still produce new content. So you're going to get a lot of tooth and clock content. It's a lot of work for us too, Mike. Yeah. Jeff and I have really been burning the midnight oil these days. Mike has had to edit a lot. I've had to put together a lot of stuff. Jeff's been great moral support.

I've had to come up with a lot of jokes. A lot of jokes. A lot of jokes. And Mike doesn't, even if I have misses, Mike gets mad at it now. Yeah. I can't say we, we. No, it's just who can't. Who can say we, we?

I don't think even the French can. Maybe like a toddler. Jeff does have to interrupt me, I guess, is what he has to do. But he does have to... You ask the question. Sweet mother. He has to sit on the couch and listen to me complain. So it's not like he's doing nothing.

He's shouldering the burden of having to live with me while I'm at my most angry. I like it. It feels like old times when you guys were living together again. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's great. So you guys are in Paris. You're watching the Olympics. You're eating some frommage. You know it's funny too. To like increase Mike's irritability. My room has air conditioning in his dozen. Oh. Interesting. That's a nice little desk. My room's so cold and France is like so hot.

It's fair though. Because Jeff was the one that coordinated all the Airbnb stuff and I was like, you know what? It's his. It's his by right. I'm bad at planning and I was waiting for Mike to do it. But he, he, he, he, he was. one out. I have to do it. I proved to be even worse. It kind of looks like you guys are staying in like a TJ Max dressing room or something. It does, huh? Well, anyway, that's a big announcement. We're really excited about it. It's going to be huge for us. The documentary is amazing. We've loved working with the people at HBO. We're really, really, really excited. And you know what else we're excited about? Mike, you're going to be particularly happy because we're going to hog it up today. Oh, man.

I got three tickets to Hogwarts. Oh. And the trains leaving the station. All right. So when I think about hogs, and I often do, there's one particular... Well, I mean, you don't need tickets for Hogwarts. You got to have magic to run through that wall. No, they get the letter and stuff, right?

That's pretty much a ticket. Yeah, you're right. I take it back. Well, anyway, when I think about hogs, there's one particular hog that has... has always looked the most intimidating to me. But it's not the hog you generally hear about when hog stories hit the news. And that's the common war hog. Oh, I was wrong.

You were wrong. What did you think it was? Wildhog. I was thinking Tim Allen in Wildhogs. John Travolta. Who else is in that? What's his face from... William H. Macy.

Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. He's the least wild hog looking. There's the... What's his name from Bad Boys? Not Will Smith. Martin Lawrence, yeah. All of this changed this year when I read a story about a warthog attack that really changed my personal perception of the animal

and their potential danger to humans. And that article was written by Peter Hawley and it was published in Texas Monthly and its title was, his best friend was a 250-pound warthog. One day, it decided to kill him. That'll get you to read it. All right.

Yeah, I'd buy that. for a dollar? All right. Yeah. I did buy it. I had to subscribe. Okay, let's get into our story. Austin Riley didn't have a typical upbringing in Texas Hill country. A bit before his first birthday, doctors found a golf ball-sized tumor on his brain, and they had to operate to remove it. And as a result, he would spend a lot of his childhood in and out of hospitals, and because of this really strong threat of seizure, he wasn't allowed to do a lot of group activities that kids his age were doing. He couldn't go to the pool, he couldn't play a lot of organized sports. He kind of had to be isolated.

And that led to a fair amount of social isolation. And rather than form human friends, he became friends with a lot of the different animals that his parents kept on their sprawling 130-acre ranch. Everything from dogs to hogs, ostriches, deer, lots of animals became his friend. Frogs. Frogs. Frogs. Frogs.

Flayed a lot of pogs. Bogs. His dad has made his money in oil and gas, and he spent a lot of that money bringing exotic animals to their ranch and then breeding them and selling them to other Texas ranches. So if you're unfamiliar... Watch chimp crazy. Yeah.

This is more like canned game hunting, I think. So I visited some of these Texas ranches, and they'll have like Impala and Orix and these different animals that people can pay to come hunt. Because they don't... Oh, that's so stupid. It is stupid. But they don't want to go to Africa to kill this stuff.

And it's actually like a big problem for invasives because sometimes this stuff gets out, which we'll talk about more later. Austin, though, really didn't like staying inside. He wasn't a big, like, video games kid or anything. So he spent most of his free time with these animals. And all of them had really bonded with this boy. He grew into this really handsome, strong ranch hand. And his kindness towards both people and animals was one of his defining characteristics. Everyone that knows Austin says that he was just, you know, a really, really nice person.

So in 2017, when Austin was in his mid-20s, he formed what would be one of his strongest bonds with an animal to date. A female warthog that they owned had given birth to a tiny piglet and then the mother died. And this doomed the baby to a similar fate because they need their moms to survive. But Austin stepped in, he took this hamster-sized baby inside, and he bottle-fed it in this makeshift nursery that he built in his family's house, and he kept doing that until it was big and strong enough to move outside. All right, so Austin built a little home for the Warthog Piglet near his parents' house, and it soon became pretty rambunctious and energetic,

and he named it after a country rebel, Wayland Jennings. Waylon, the Wart Hog, loved Austin, and he'd follow him around the ranch, would fall asleep on his chest after feedings, He loved eating apples, getting belly scratches, and when he was really young, he would even sit in the front seat of Austin's car. Austin was essentially a stand-in mom for this warthog, and the two were inseparable. So Wayland grew quickly, and it didn't take him long to get to a huge 250 pounds. So we got a beefy warthog here. That's good.

You don't want a small guy sitting in the front seat, the airbag. Isn't that what they want for kids? You can't sit in the front seat until you're a certain size. Yeah, no, I think it's 250 pounds that he can sit in the front. Shoot, that's why you never let me sit in the front, Jeff. Even at adult size, Waylon was really playful and cuddly with Austin

and never aggressive or threatening. And like most members of the pig family, he's really intelligent and he learned to respond to his own name. And while their relationship continued to grow, Waylon was turning into an adult warhog and he was becoming a much more formidable and much more unpredictable animal. All right.

So we're going to get in some warthog biology. It's starting to rain here a tiny bit. All right, so warhugs are an African animal. They're relatively widespread in common. When we go to Kenya soon, I think it's really likely that we'll see warhawks. Yeah, they're pretty well-known animal too, but for anyone out there that might not know

what a warthog looks like, picture a large brownish-gray pig with the long, dark mane and huge tusks. Yep. Can you picture that? Yeah. You got that in your head? Yeah, I'm just picturing the lion king.

Yeah, you're picturing Pumba. All right, so the warthog in our story is a male. Males can grow bigger than 300 pounds, whereas females top out around 170 pounds. This is a big animal. Like, I've caught grizzly bears that weigh 300 pounds. This is big. They're called warthogs because of the large protuberances that stick out from their faces. that kind of resemble huge warts.

Females tend to have one pair of those warts and males have two. Those are comprised mostly of skin, and they're thought to be used as protection for spars between whirhawks. I'd never knew that, and I guess I had never really thought that these guys were named after, like, warts. And when you think about it, wort hog is like the least graceful-sounding animal name of maybe any animal out there. Yeah.

It's like very crusty sounding. All right. I had a little stint where I was getting warts on, like, fingers and hands in my feet, too. Yeah. And I think I had, like, warthog as a nickname for, like, a small, tiny bit of my life. Like, your friends called you that? Well, I wouldn't call them friends. My classmates.

All right. Yeah, that's not a fun one. I'm sorry. It would have offered you extra protection in a fight, though. So it's a giving a take. Yeah, that's true. Turns out warthogs are kind of cool. They are.

Had I known that? All right, when you guys think of a warthog, what's the main physical characteristic that you think of? Tusk. Correct. Jeff, don't even answer, because Mike got it right on the first guess. Mohawk. All right, so tusks. Warthogs have both upper and lower canine teeth that grow in tusks.

And in adult males, the top tusks form this really interesting semicircle. It kind of looks like an arc. that's like forming in and those tusks can have a variety of use is like digging up roots getting at Forbes and then they also use them for sparring so the adult males will hit each other with those those upper tusks roasting marshmallows you think uh maybe roasting marshmallows impossible to say that they don't but i would guess they don't the lower tusks are actually what they use to do their most damage though they're straighter with a slight curve and because those lower tusks hit the upper tusks when they open and close their mouths, they're constantly getting sharpened.

So they're actually razor sharp. Their lower tusks are super sharp. So in a defensive battle, a warthog will use those lower tusks like a sword, and they'll thrash their head back and forth so quickly that it can be hard for us to even see that movement. What? Yeah, it's like a blur. So, I mean, we can see it, but it's blurred.

Right. It's kind of a stupid fact. I like that. That's my favorite facts so far. Can't even see it. It's amazing. you're just like watching it wondering like maybe it shook its head and I didn't even know yeah yeah there's it to me it made me think of the Tasmanian devil and there's a part in

our story that's very Tasmanian devil too so that's kind of what I pictured an important thing to note too is these lower tusks have that slight curve to them so they'll go in pretty straight but then when they come out they rip out a big chunk of flush fish shook them Yep, exactly. A lot of stuff eats wharthogs, leopards, lions, cheetahs, hyenas, wild dogs, eagles, pythons, crocodiles, and humans are just some of their predators. But they do have a wide variety of characteristics that make them pretty hard to catch and pretty hard to kill. First of all, they're really fast. They have longer legs than other members of the pig family, and they can run up to 35 miles per hour.

They can go that speed really quickly, and then they can maintain. really fast speeds as they're ducking and dodging. So they're really good at kind of weaving around predators. Good at dodge ball too, I bet. Probably great at dodge ball. Be a hard target. Another interesting defense mechanism. You could catch the ball in that test.

Yeah. Yeah, just deflate it. They wouldn't be very fun to play with. Another interesting defense mechanism is that when they're crawling into their burrows, they back in butt first, which means that any predator that tries to get into that burrow to get them, comes face to face with their tusks. And then it also makes it so they can run out of the burrow a lot faster. Well, if there's a porcupine in there, that'd be funny.

And they just bump into it with their butt. Yeah, and then they're like, ah! See, now that's what I call funny. That right there. I don't care who you are. He's back. Yeah, I knew he added in and he was, he'd get me. He always does.

They don't actually dig their own burrows, but they'll take over Ardvark Burrows or porcupine burrows that they might find out on the savannah that all the pieces are in place i knew i knew that was possible like most pigs they are omnivores and while most of their diet is going to be vegetation so anything from roots to berries to forbs and grasses they'll also eat they'll also eat bugs uh they'll also eat eggs and lion king yep carrion and mushrooms so you you'll even see warthogs eating dead animals out on Savannah. They've got long legs and short necks, so grazing and drinking water isn't really easy for them, but evolution helped them out by giving them protective pads on their knees that they can kneel down on to feed. So it's really, you'll find a lot of photos of warthogs out there, and their

legs are kind of folded up, and they're either grazing or drinking. And it's actually kind of cute. We might see that in Africa. That is kind of cute. Sounds like when me and Mike did like our football what animal would play each position episode the only episode without you with yeah sounds like they'd be like a good fullback would you agree with that I was gonna ask what what football position you think would be best for these guys so it sounds like no were you really yeah I was yeah whoa yep they're good at ducking and dodging they kneel down yeah I think fullback's a great position good pick all right so a couple more backer sure yeah A couple more interesting bonus facts about warthogs.

When a reproductive female loses her litter for whatever reason, she'll sometimes help with the nursing of other piglets within her own family group. That's not common, and it's called aloe sucking. Mike, you know all about aloe sucking, right? And some warthog experts think this is an example of altruistic behavior, which, again, is really rare in the natural world. usually animals will only do some kind of behavior if there's some sort of benefit to them or their offspring. So that's kind of an important thing to know.

So it's just like you say hello and then you start sucking. That's how it works. That's what I picture the Olympic Village being like. Oh, we got to make our way over there if it is. Baby warthog piglets have their own teat that they suckle from. Like they have like a designated teat and if one of those piglets dies, the other ones won't take over that teat. It's like, no, that was. That's interesting though.

They got like dibs on their teeth. Yeah. And if he dies, the other ones are like, hey, that's Frank's teat. Like, don't touch it. I like that. I do want to say that fact I only found in a couple places. So I do think of all my facts. That's the one that is the least backed up.

but it seemed like a pretty good source that I found it on. Yeah. All right. A group of warthogs is called a sounder. In places where humans hunt warthogs, they'll actually shift to nocturnal activity patterns to evade hunters. So they are really intelligent animals. All right.

So that's it for some bonus facts. We're going to get back into our story. I have a quick fact question. Maybe you could just clear. Yeah. Can they be friends with mere cats? I don't think so. They have shown other animals like vervet monkeys that will groom warthogs and eat parasites off of them.

But mere cats, as far as I could find, weren't involved in that grooming behavior. This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking. Maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home. With agents who close twice as many deals, when you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it.

Get started at redfin.com. Own the dream. All right. On a crisp October evening in 2022, Wayland did what he always did, and he greeted Austin at the front gate of his enclosure. As Austin walked in with him, Waylon happily trodied near his side

and accepted some backscratches from his unconventional. human parent, Austin. Then, Austin entered an adjacent pen and fed a pig, and fed a pig named Daisy. Got it. I thought that, Mike. All right. As he returned to the warthog pen, he was walking toward his ATV, when suddenly he was hidden the legs from behind, and he stumbled about 15 feet forward before falling on the

ground. There was a cloud of dust near his feet, and suddenly Wayland's head emerged from the cloud. That's what made me think of Tasmanian devil. Waylon charged in and pushed his massive head in between Austin's legs and then started thrashing it back and forth violently. His tusks were ripping huge gashes in Austin's calves and then his right thigh. And later, Austin would say the gash in his right thigh was so large that he reached his hand all the way into it. Wow.

I don't know why, but he did. All the way into his thigh? Yeah, he could fit his entire hand into the gash. Whoa. So as Austin sat stunned on the ground, he felt cool air hitting the bloody, warm, exposed muscles of his legs. And then his boots started filling with blood, and he started screaming. Austin hoped the attack was over, and Waylon was just trying to send him a message. But he looked at Whelan, and he immediately could see the aggression on the Warthog's face as he charged in again,

pinning Austin to the ground. Immediately he started ripping into Austin again with his tusks, stabbing him four more times in his upper left leg and his genitals. Then the tusks tore into his right thigh again, while Austin unsuccessfully tried to gouge the eyes out on this massive warthog. Not the genitals, Wes. Yeah, he got him in the genitals with the werehog tusk. That's always what we've said.

If there's one thing we don't want to get... Those are sharp, you said. Yep, if there's one thing I don't want my genitals ripped out with, it's a warthog tusk. Yeah. Oh, no, I... There's a lot of things. I would say.

Yeah, there are two, but there's a lot of things too, but this is number one for me. This is what we always say, yeah. Jeff, I have that in my wall. It's framed, in a frame. I mean, I agree with the statement for the most part. Okay. Mike, I'm not surprised you're having troubles with him right now. He's just really picking a lot of fights.

Listen, if a waris tusk rips out my genitals, I'm still going to be pretty upset. I got to tell you, yesterday, Jeff got mad at me because I didn't eat enough dessert. We got two desserts, and I, like, ate half of mine, and he, like, I was like, I can't believe I'm getting scolded for not eating my dessert. Well, I mean, do you want to hear my side? Yes, I do want to hear your side. I was asking our waiter if I should get the chocolate moose or the caramel flam. Uh-huh. And the waiter is like, I don't know.

like they're both good and Mike's like well just order one and I'll have the other and it's like oh you want dessert I just all get whatever you don't right so then you figure Mike's going to eat dessert and he just like gave them both to me like I was like I would have just chose one I thought I was doing something nice I was like you can have

all of your dessert and half of mine I thought it was a nice thing like I can order it did he make you pay for both of them I mean he paid for the whole meal so like I don't know how to feel anymore. Probably with the company credit card. All right. Well, I think that was a really great distraction right at the height of the tension in this

story. So good job. Thank you. All right. So what I was just saying is that he had been gouged again in his upper left leg and his genitals. The tusks tore into him and he's trying to gouge the warhog's eyes out. So in a panic, Austin then grabbed on to Wayland's tusks and they sliced open one of his

wrists. Then Waylon switched his attention to Austin's abdomen, stabbing him multiple times in the stomach, and then Austin grabbed Waylon's head and tried to put him in a headlock, which ended up being another really bad move. Because when he did this, Waylon threw his head back and one of the tusks punctured Austin's throat and his voice box, creating a hole the size of a quarter in his neck and pulling out one of his arteries that was hanging out like a necklace. What?

The force of this final blow knocked Austin to his back and maybe to Whalen it seemed as though Austin was dead or neutralized because finally this warhawk stopped attacking him. Austin waited a minute and then when he had enough distance from Whalen he got to his feet and hobbled to a nearby

eight foot fence. It took him five tries to get his mangled body over the fence but when he finally did he crumpled on the other side of the fence and reached for his phone but he had a terrible realization. His phone had fallen out of his pocket during the attack. No. He was laying on the ground in Wayland's enclosure.

And that's pretty important because he's a good distance away from the house. He's bleeding out quickly. And he knows that he's probably not going to be able to get even to his ATV without passing out. This is a hard, like, what do I do next? Yeah, I know. So he decided that his only chance of survival was to go back into the enclosure. So he summons all of his strength And he waited till Waylon

Trotted a fair distance away He climbs the fence and collapses down On the other side and back into danger He crawls to his phone And then gets up and limps to a nearby gate And as he's unlatching the two locks on the gate Whelan sees him again and charges Just as Wayland is about to make contact with Austin again

He slips through the gate and slams it closed behind him Whalen hits the fence and starts violently thrashing and trying to get through the fence at Austin. What the hell is his problem, dude? What happened? It's like you, dude. He just got mad for no reason. It's very much like me, yeah. Yeah.

Maybe Austin was like, we, we, Wey, Whalen, you know? I would have been pissed. Oh, man. I would have instantly lost it. Anyway, Wade would have ripped your vocal box out of your neck with my testicles off. Yeah. Austin did say at this point he felt like Waylon was possessed. Like it was some other Warthog in there.

It wasn't his wayland. So even though he hardly ever had service. It wasn't his sweet little way, wait. Need to get a hogs or cyst on the ranch. Is that funny? I don't know. That's a stretch. We better cut that one.

Funny how big of a stretch it was. We're keeping it. All right. We have to keep me saying PEG. Yeah. That's fair. I'll do whatever it takes to keep that in. Suffer whatever indignity.

Even though Austin hardly ever had service in this part of the ranch, he actually had one bar and he called his dad. He told him that he was bleeding out and to hurry, and then knowing that it might be the last time that he ever talked to his parents, he told them both how much he loved them. When he hung up the phone, he could hear his mom screaming in the distance and the squealing tire of his dad peeling out of the driveway.

When Austin's dad's dad, Shane, found his son. His first instinct was to push some of the tissue back into his body. He then loaded them, which you shouldn't do. You should just leave it just so you guys know. He then loaded him back into the SUV and called emergency responders. And the paramedics told Shane to wait for them at the property, but he was like, no way, I'm not doing that. And he started speeding off through the property toward the interstate. And he even rammed open their front gate as he was going through. Which is something all of us have wanted to do at some point. I feel like that's one of the things that movies do too.

And then in real life it doesn't work. Always work. You hit the gate and your car stops. It worked in this circumstance. Yeah, that's great. So as he approached the intersection of the interstate, the ambulance showed up and they loaded Austin into the back. And his parents then later followed them to the University Hospital in San Antonio, Texas. By the time Austin arrived, he had lost nearly half of his.

blood, which I remember in the Todd Endres story with the Great White Shark, they said that's like the critical amount. You know, when you lose that much blood, they can hardly ever bring you back. And they had said the thing that they always say, like, oh, had it been, you know, a couple minutes later, you would have died. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wayland's tusks also had come within a hair of severing several major arteries. But miraculously, all of them were intact, which is especially impressive knowing that he got both of his thighs gouged and his neck. You said his artery was hanging out of his neck. Right. We have lots of arteries, but none of his major arteries were hit. So, like, his femoral artery. Yeah, exactly.

Tricked me with that extra word. I got you. So had one of those arteries been hit, because he lost all this blood and none of them were hit, had one of them been hit, he almost certainly would have died. I mean, there's really no chance that he would have survived. He was gored at least 15 times by the Warthog. The day after the mauling, Shane had his first. friends shoot Waylon, and they set in his head in for rabies testing. He tested negative. They also

gave their female Warthog away because they, you know, rightfully so, did not want to have war hogs anymore on their property. Austin's recovery had been hard, and there was a lot of trauma and PTSD that he had to face when he was able to return to the ranch. He would avoid even looking at the old Warthog enclosure, and for a while, every time he closed his eyes, he said he would see Wayland's face soaked in blood. His parents were also really traumatized. traumatized and it's been really hard for all of them to come to terms with this attack. Austin's done extensive therapy and he's now able to enter the old Warhog pen and he can even look at some of his old photos of Wayland.

That's so rough. It is. You have like he's he had such a loving bond with that animal and then just in an afternoon he can't even look at this animal that he loved. I know almost like a child, his own child in a way. Man, what a betrayal. Yeah. I don't know. Betrayal is a weird word to use, but like an awful turn of events.

Like, it's anthropomorphizing a little. Also, something I did want to bring up really quickly. I know we just said that they got rid of their other war hog and whatnot. I can't remember reading anywhere in this article where it said they were raising these animals for like canned hunts or anything. I just know that's a popular industry in Texas especially. So I do want to walk that back immediately and say, I'm not sure that's what they were doing. So to this day, there really isn't a good reason for why Waylon attacked Austin, but Warthog experts do speak to their unpredictable nature.

In the article I read, they interviewed a warthog keeper at the Dallas Zoo, and she had said that warthogs are particularly tricky animal to keep because they can seem so docile and sweet, but then they can turn defensive or aggressive lightning quick. So they kind of get you with this false sense of security, and then you can trigger them without even knowing it. So they are a really tricky animal. The reason I wanted to do this story today is because we are coming into this series of episodes about chimp ownership and how tricky it is to own exotic animals.

And so I do, I've been thinking so much about that and I really felt like this story plays into just how dangerous that can be, even when you're dealing with an animal that we don't typically see as being that dangerous. Yeah. All right. So let's do our ouches. I was saying it's domesticated versus trained. Exactly.

This isn't a domesticated animal. This one's not even that trained. No. I mean, it would ride in his car. So it's pretty well trained. But then it wasn't suddenly. Yeah. I mean, the cat and meet the fuckers can flush the toilet.

That's a domesticated animal, Jeff. That's a domesticated animal. Okay. Okay. Yep. All right. Ouchies for Austin. Who wants to go first? Who?

I'm going to go pretty hot. I think the physical damage by itself is like a seven, I would think. Some genital damage, some throat damage, just general damage all over the place. But also the emotional damage sounds really bad. So I think I'm going to bump it up to an eight because that's a rough one to go through in many different ways. Yeah, I'll go seven plus one for genitals, so eight. I think we all agree. I think I'm going to go with eight.

It seemed like it happened really quick. So it didn't, you know, it wasn't a prolonged, like, my gold standard has always been Cynthia Dussle Bacon, where she had to, like, have her arms eaten off by a bear for hours. She didn't have to. That's just what happened. Well, you phrased that. That's what happened to her. I mean, she kind of had to. Yeah.

I did kind of phrase it weird. Yes. I see. So I'll give him an eight because this sounds incredibly painful. The psychological trauma seems terrible. and just a bonus for me, like extra pain is this is someone who had to kind of deal with pain his whole life, you know, and that sucks. And I know that's not necessarily related to our ouchies, but like to have to deal with a brain tumor and have all these crazy problems resulting from it. And then also to get attacked by a warthog.

Yeah. It's kind of like, Austin needs a break, you know. Okay. Well, let's get into our categories. Glad you're okay, Austin. Or glad you're getting better. Sounds like things are on. Yeah, me too.

Things are on the matter. There was a photo of Austin in the article in December. This happened in October, December the same year, and he was like walking around the ranch. So I think he did heal up pretty quickly. That's awesome. Yeah. All right, let's do our favorite warthog from popular culture.

I mean, I'll take Puma. Okay, Pumba. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's the normal pick. Yeah. Yeah, he's great. Pumba. Yeah. Let's get his name right at least.

Pumba, thank you. Is Lion King your favorite Disney movie, Jeff? Favorite animated Disney movie. Okay. I think Pirates of Caribbean is my favorite Disney movie. I think I'm right there with you on that one. I'm going to go from the Wart Hogg from Halo, like the vehicle. My friends and I spent a billion hours on Blood Gulch,

just like shooting each other with rockets while we were driving around in Wart Hugs just to see how many flips we could do up in the air. Plus just like is maybe the first video game vehicle, at least constantly. console-based video game vehicle that felt good to drive. I actually really liked driving that thing out. Yeah. It's great. I'm going to go with Bebop from Ninja Turtles.

Oh, we got, I think those are the big three. Yeah. I think we've actually done, we did this in Mike's now that you, because you said that before. I've either picked Bebop or Rocksteady before. Yeah. Because I kind of just thought Bebop was like a generic hog, but he's actually, he is a warthog. I didn't know too much about the lore of Bebop, and so I was reading a little bit,

and I wanted to read you guys an excerpt from, like, part of his lore in Ninja Turtles comic universe, and it kind of shows me why comics should just stop at a certain point, because this is, like, what happened to Bebop, toward recent days in Ninja Turtles. After Shredder's death in Issue 50, Bebop and Rocksteady desert the foot, and inadvertently coming into contact with Savanti Romero

and his stolen time scepter wreak so much havoc across the multiverse that all reality is pushed to the brink of obliteration. The turtles and their time mistress friend, Renee, just barely managed to avert that catastrophe. So, frang! Wow. We need multiverse for Ninja Turtles now?

It's so dumb. Like, these are just two like... crust punk animals that are like fun characters. They shouldn't be destroying time. Yeah, not just the multiverse. There was a time scepter in there. So that tells me time travels part of the equation too. And it's just like...

A time mistress, too. It's so dumb. You're great at protecting your data, but lots of places could still expose you to identity theft. I thought it was safe. If that happens, LifeLock gives you a U.S.-based restoration agent who will stick by your side from start to finish. phone calls, filing documentation, preparing insurance claims, your agent handles it all.

In fact, we're so confident restoration is guaranteed, pour your money back. Isn't it nice to have someone like that on your side? Save up to 40% your first year at lifelock.com slash Spotify. Terms apply. All right, our next category. Jeff, you got an animal fact for us? I do. All right, let's hear it. The heaviest mammal that makes, how do you say it, that like goes on land in North America. Okay.

Is an elephant seal. Terrestrial mammal? No, because they're not terrestrial. They're not terrestrial. They are marine. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

That's why I said it all weird. I like it. I guess you could say, though, that like sometimes humpback whales will go on land. Yeah. You know. Alive. Yeah. All right.

Your favorite food made from pig. Apparently warthogs are tasty, just so you know. That's good to know. I'm going to go with a tonkatsu sandwich, like a fried pork cutlet sandwich. Man, I had a bunch of those this summer at this little place when I was down in Texas, and I think chopped pretty high up onto my list of favorites. So feeling good about that answer. All right.

I mean, my ingredient would be bacon. I love bacon. So that's fine. Like bacon, eggs and hash browns probably. It has to, like, be a meal. My pick would be a bond me sandwich, a pork bond me sandwich. I've just been eating a lot of those lately. We have a really good Vietnamese place here in Missoula, and I love a good bond me.

So that's my pick. Bon, me, too. All right. You've got three hours to spend in hog warts. What are you doing? That's funny, Wes. Am I magic? No, you're just yourself, but you get to hang out for three hours in Hogwarts.

I'll play some quidditch. Can I play quidditch? Sure. Yeah, you can just get a, do I have to watch it? No, you can do anything. Yeah, I'll ride a broom around. I'll go to that, like, chamber of secrets for sure. Kill someone?

Yeah. All right. See that basilisk? Mike, what are you doing in Hogwarts in your three hours? So are we, if we're talking like pre-Hary Potter times before he came in and ruined everything for everyone, I'm going to go get that Philosopher's Stone. That thing sounds so handy. That's a good thing. Or maybe check out the wamping willow.

What do you do to make it calm down and you can like sneak in through the trunk? You have to like sing to it or something? Yeah, I don't remember. I don't know. I actually wouldn't want it to be calm. I'd want it to like start swinging. That sounds kind of fun to watch. I would, if I'm going to Hogwarts, I'm probably going to go.

go check out Hagrid's spot, see what kind of weird crittery as. Yeah. And then maybe go see the owlry and like see all the different owls. And then I want to just go eat one of those dinners, you know, in that hall. That's what I want to do. All right. I'll change Ryan. I'm going to get that like time machine thing they use in the third one.

Just go back in time. I like steal all Voldemort's Horrocks that is using for myself. team up with them probably just turn in the more cool you mean you won't just do it to go back and do more homework go to more classes and that's the only way you'll employ it that's like the most boring use of time travel ever thought of by anyone all right my next category what would mike and jeff do so your best friend is a war hog you go into its enclosure one day and it attacks you What are you doing? Yeah, I think Austin almost did this, but where he went to the gate,

instead of like slipping through the gate, I would open the gate like a Matador type of situation. The Warthog goes running outside, close the gate. Okay, and then slip back in. Yeah. But what if the Warthog? Well, I guess then I'm in the pen. Yeah, and then the Warthog goes and kills your family instead. No, that's bad.

Yeah, that's bad. All right, well, it's your pick. I'm actually curious on your answer on this one, Wes. Yeah, I'll get to it in here in a second. Mike, what's yours? It sounds like the headlock was a bad move. So I'd maybe do like just a full Nelson, some other kind of wrestling takedown move.

Maybe like the, like get it from, it's like hindquarters. Just pick it away from the head, you know. Wheelbarrow it. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, wheelbarrow. Yeah, I like that. I looked around a lot to see if there's any advice out there for what to do if you're charged by a warthog. I don't think these animals really charge people often in the wild.

I don't think it's common that this happens. But they are really closely related to a lot of other wild pig species. And the kind of general advice if you're attacked by a wild pig is to get to a place of safety. So if you're around a tree, a vehicle, anything like that, you can climb a tree with a this animal. You can get into your vehicle. You just want to get elevated and away from where they can get you. That's like the number one thing. Outside of that, your options are to like back away slowly and then if it charges at you just to run. But really the main thing is just getting to a place of safety. If you do happen to have a... Which wasn't really an option in this story. It wasn't.

Because he got hit from behind and then it was on top of him. And he never expected this to happen. with his like best bud you know exactly my actual thing would be like I would strike first because he got blindsided I would blindside the warthog before it blindsied kick his legs out they got those knee pads so we'll hurt them that bad yeah but he'll yeah all right we're on the bus from speed but it's actually a war hawk are we surviving all right explain the rules of speed to us Wes and you'll get your answer but I'm but I'm not letting it go So in the movie speed I don't know how to end

Yeah In the movie speed Once the bus goes over 50 miles per hour Or 55 If it then drops back below 55 miles per hour It blows up So if there's an animal That is the bus from speed

And we're riding on it And that animal can go faster than 55 We're in some trouble Do you guys remember how fast I said These guys can go? 30, 35 35 miles per hour We're fine

Buses Okay good So basically this question is how fast can this animal run I like this I'm with you to the end on this one It's not Mike That's not what it is It's if this animal were the bus

I know speed and we were on it I mean it's What was the Warthog's name again Waylon Like Waylon Smithers or Wayland Jennings Waylon would ride passenger seat Yeah So he can

Like he would be in cars a lot So he probably does go over 65 a lot Is the transitive property Yeah if Whalen So if like the bus from speed We're like on a jumbo jet Flying through the air Was that count as going

No it doesn't No I'm not gonna No I don't think so No All I'm saying is Wayland's gone over 65 miles an alley Yeah okay Well and it sounds like Bebop And Rocksteady have gone like

the speed of light. So if we're talking about that war hog, we're definitely blowing up. We're in trouble, yeah. All right. Jeff, do you have any listener questions for us? Actually,

you know what? Let me see if I have any patron questions first. Okay, this one's from Kelly, patron Kelly. Kelly says, would you rather have to kill a chicken with your hands every time you drive, or, and this goes in really well

with our upcoming project, fight a chimpanzee once a year. And Kelly says, obviously Jeff will do this one because he would own a chimp in hand-to-hand combat. Huh. What would you guys rather have to do? What is the first part? Kill a chicken with your hands every time you get in your car or fight a chimpanzee once a year. She doesn't specify that it has to be with your hands, but I think that's what she meant.

Like, I have to do either of those? Like the chicken is hard. No, but it's just kind of like you. Yeah, I'll take the chicken. Okay. I don't think that's the point. Like, I'd feel bad, you mean? Yeah, like it kind of sucks.

I don't think I can beat a chimp. I think I was just saying if it's a 135 pound chimp, my chance isn't zero. Yeah, right. Yeah, we'll talk about that more during chimp crazy, but yes. Mike, what's your answer? I'm going to do the chicken one. I've been wanting to get rid of my car for a while. It's pretty much, would you rather kill a chicken every day or die?

Yeah, die once a year. die in the most violent way possible. Yeah. I'm going to kill the chicken as well. I am going to drive a lot less. I'll probably start riding my bike a lot more. I'll fight the gym. All right.

If you're both choosing chicken. Okay. All right. This one's from Lex. Lex says, hey guys, love the show. I have a question. In many of the episodes dealing with carnivores, you describe the animals as perfect predators.

In particular, I'm thinking of animals like great whites, mountain lions, and wolves. My question is, are there any carnivores that are bad at their jobs? Are there any imperfect or incompetent predators? I think that's a great question. I do think we probably overuse that term a bit because I think when we're saying that, I often mean an animal that has essentially gone unchanged in evolution for so long

because they've become so good at what they do that there haven't been major changes to their morphology. But there are animals out there that are much more successful when they hunt. So, for example, we just talked about like badgers, Jeff, in your patron episode. You said that badgers had what? Like a 70 or 80% success rate. Yeah. That's a really good predator.

But then, like, African lions, I think their success rates somewhere around like 20 or 30%. So they're still a really good predator, but they're still a really good predator, but They're not nearly as successful. So I would just say there is this scale of how good that predation animals are. The badger needs to kill like two groundhogs a day to like feed itself where a lion can kill like one zebra a week. So they don't need to be as successful. Totally. Yep.

Anyway, I thought that was a great question. I would say I know they're more like omnivores, but black bears, I feel like. Like, if they could eat more meat, they would, but they pretty much have to eat a ton of vegetables and berries and stuff. Totally. Because they're just not super good at getting meat. Right. So they're not a perfect predator. Like, they are a perfect omnivore, but they're not a great predator.

I think that's a good answer. Okay. One more from our patrons. This is from Julie. Julie said, I heard a fun question recently to ask you guys. For Jeff, if you read my name on the podcast, I'm reading it. Julie. It's Julie. She wants the whole name, I guess. Frystaffer. If you could turn something non-edible into a tasty snack, what would it be and what would it taste like? My mom said coral and it would

taste like seafood potato chips. Weird answer. My answer would be lava and it would be like warm pudding. Oh, that is nice. I think both of those are interesting because like when do you come across lava though, you know. Yeah, but it's like you'd want to eat it. Yeah, but if you could turn anything non-edible into a tasty snack, what would it be and what would it taste like? I'm going to go with seafoam. It seems like that'd be really nice. Everyone's out on the beach. You just scoop up some seafone and it tastes like what?

Like a cotton candy kind of thing. Okay. I like that. Yeah, that's pleasant. Well, my problem with the question is you get to say what it tastes like. Yeah. So, like, if it was just like what thing that's not edible would you most want to eat, I would say something. different but like since I get to choose what it tastes like I'll just choose like

garbage so that we don't we have less garbage in the world that's a good answer I'll make it taste like pizza all right okay and then we don't that solves our garbage problem so you're saying garbage would taste like pizza yeah I like that sure that's a good answer you're thinking through this yeah yeah now I my answer seems stupid Mine's kind of along the same line, so I was going to say invasive weeds because I have a ton of invasive weeds on my property, and I would want them to taste like chocolate-covered macadamia nuts because I've really been into them lately. All right, that's it for patron questions. Thank you, everyone for sending them in. Again, we announced this recently.

We have a huge buildup of those questions. I'm doing my best to get to them, but we're probably going to have to come up with a new way to collect those. So if your question hasn't been answered, we'll figure out a new way for you to ask it. But have some patience, please, just because we've been under a lot of work pressure lately. So we're doing our best. I wouldn't mind like chewing on a tire if it tastes so good. Yeah. Like it's like chocolate or licorice or something.

This episode is brought to you by Netflix. Most valuable promotions in Netflix are hosting a Blockbuster Triple Headliner Saturday, May 16th. Ronda Rousey returns to face fellow woman's MMA pioneer Gina Carrano in the main event. Plus co-main's Nate Diaz versus Mike Perry. And the best heavyweight in the world, Frances Ngano versus Felipe Lins. Watch Ronda Rousey versus Gina Carrano, live only on Netflix. Saturday, May 16th at 9 p.m. Eastern Center Time, 6 p.m. Pacific Time. All right.

Alexis K. Fox asks, if you could live anywhere in the world rent-free, where would each of you live? I kind of don't want to say my answer because I don't want people to move there. So I'm going to pick a different one. Oh, what? Nice. I really liked Lake Bled in Slovenia. It was just like a picturesque fairy tale lake with an island in the middle and like a beautiful church on the island. It's really close to like some beautiful rivers and Lubiana.

It was just a really amazing spot. So if I could just have like a really nice. house on the shores of Lake Bled, I'd be really happy there. So that's going to be my pick for now. I'll go with like the lodge on Lake Louise and Banff, Canada. I just can live there. Yeah.

I'll go with, I don't know, how about Waikiki. I love Hawaii. I'll live there. Yeah. What's not to like? Maybe like the top of that skyscraper in Dubai. Yeah. Honolay.

I get the very top room. Honolay in Kauai. That's probably my favorite part of Hawaii. It's where my family lives. Nora L. Deb. As ninja, alien or pirate? Which would you want to be the most? Pirate.

Ninja what or pirate? I'll be an alien. Oh, alien. Alien. Alien. I'm going ninja. I'm going to alien. You got, like, amazing technology if you're an alien.

Not necessarily. You might just be like a weird little microbe on a bird. planet. It's like a billion degrees or something uncomfortable. I was going to say the same thing. He's like a thermophilic microbe. You aren't thinking microbes are happier than us? Probably. I think microbes complaining about the metro when it's riding on it? It might be. You might be one of like the probe or aliens. You want that job? I don't want

that job. I don't want to be an alien. Yeah, it's too... probe a bunch of humans. You don't know. It's too wide. You don't know what an alien's like. That's like their blue collar workers are just the probers. Pirates, I feel like, have a way worse lifestyle than like you would think. I think ninjas have the worst out of those.

Like ninjas just train and train and train to like one night go out and immediately get killed probably. Throw a ninja star. Dude. I don't care if I die. as long as I'm throwing some stars. I feel like if pirates get rich, then they stop being pirates. Like if I find a treasure.

Once you get hooked in that pirate lifestyle. I guess it's life for me. Yeah. Late for something to ask, what's your go-to move in rock paper scissors? I go scissors. I think it's the most fun gesture. I'd probably do paper. Rock all the way.

Wow, we'd be a, we'd be. Between the three of us. All right. Last one. Not Taylor Lewis. So who is it? As how much would you sell the podcast for? Hmm.

I probably like I guess it depends on if we're selling it and someone's going to like turn it into something that is doing bad for the world. I don't think I would sell it. I honestly don't think I'd have a number of. I mean that. I don't think they're saying that though. Yeah, but if someone, like, that's what I'm saying, though, is they were having to be. Like, it's not going to turn into, like, a Nazi podcast. But, if, but yeah, but I'm saying I do have my number if someone were like, hey, we want to buy the podcast.

But, like, why would they want to buy it? I don't know. Millions. Like, oil companies, you're like, we don't like your message. Yeah, like, say, like, you'd be like, I'm not going to, but, I mean, if you both say that you will, then I guess we can have a billion dollars. I would not say that. I don't like making unilateral decisions between us, but I would not do that. So I think my number, if like someone were to say, I want to buy the podcast, but it's not going to turn into something evil.

I don't know. Somewhere in like the millions, probably. Yeah, like it's nice having something fun. Like we have a good message that we're able to share, just like a pro-animal's voice. Yeah. So like it would be significantly more than like the value of the podcast. It'd have to be enough to set the three of us up for life for me. And then we just start another one that's like claw and tooth.

Yeah. Mike, what's your number? Like $30? I'm going. I mean, if someone really needed it, I'll just give it to him. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Are we good on listener questions? Yeah. Okay. Let's do a quick conservation corner. So wharthogs are least concern. The common wharthog is least concerned. They're widespread throughout sub-Saharan Africa.

They do have some threats. So they're killed in retaliation because they'll raid gardens and agriculture and stuff. So ranchers will kill them because they don't want them in their fields. They're killed for bushmeat. And then they're also killed for their ivory because you can carve their ivory into different things. So there are some threats facing whart hogs, but they are a pretty adaptable little critter, and there are a lot of them, and they breed pretty quickly. So they're not at any big risk of being threatened even. So they're doing pretty well.

Oh, yeah, and a quick note, in Texas, in Texas, there are some ranches where warthogs have escaped from, and there are a number of wild warthogs now in Texas. As far as I can find they're not breeding yet, but we do know from our wild hogs in the U.S. or feral pigs, they can breed really quickly and they can quickly take over an area because they are so adaptable. So if you're a rancher that has warthogs, be really careful.

Don't let these guys out into the environment because they could end up being a huge problem for whatever country they're released into. Might get rid of our wild pig problem, though. feral pigs. Yeah, maybe they'll out-compete those wild feral pigs. What'd the guy call him in that tweet, feral hogs, where he said he had 30 to 50 feral hogs in his backyard? I think that's what he said.

So many. Yeah. All right. Finally, let's get to our claw rating. This is a new animal, so we're going to give them a claw rating. Who wants to go first? I'll give them a seven. I think they're pretty neat little animals.

I like how they're just super rugged. They feel just tough to me in a way that a lot of animals don't. And I appreciate that. They're kind of out there not looking for trouble, but if it starts, they can throw down. And they got just unique physiognomy, you know, those cool little hook tusks coming up, wrapping up and around. I think they're pretty cool. Yeah.

What was the word you just use? Physiognomy? I'm not sure if you can use that for animals, but physiognomy is like facial feature. Okay. Yeah, maybe. I've never heard that before. facial physical characteristics. It sounded weird to me too, but I just have learned not to ever question people's vocab, especially Mike.

Mike Smart. He's got a big, yeah. All right, I'm going to give him a six because I don't tend to really like the pig family that much. I'm not a huge fan of pigs. I do like that some of my favorite predators in Africa really eat them a lot. And I do think of all the pigs, if I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be a war hog. So that's why they get higher than average. When I went to Africa before, I don't remember even taking any pictures of warhawks, and I saw a fair amount.

So they're not, you know what, I'm actually going to bump them down to a five. I'm giving them a five. I don't dislike this animal by any means, but they're not an animal. I really spend too much time researching or thinking about. Yeah, I was out of five. I think the episode got me to a six. They're my second favorite type of pig or hog. What's your first?

Red River Red River Hogs Wild hogs. Wild hog from the movie. John Schulte. And yeah, I'll write them like

5.30. Okay. Great. All right. Well, that is it for this episode. Thanks, guys. I'm sure it's late

there in Paris and you've got all sorts of events to go to, so I'll let you go. But thanks, as always listeners for joining us. Again,

Oh, weren't you going to ask us about France? Oh, shoot. Yeah, I forgot that category. I wanted to ask Mike and Jeff, what's one thing you recommend in France? I recommend going back to America where there's air conditioning. No, not really. France has been incredible. But if you're going to get one thing, get a kebab, donor kebab.

We got it with samurai sauce. Yeah, that's good. That's a Turkish food. Right. And they do it a lot here in France, and it's great. All right, perfect. I had a French meal. It was a, what was it?

The snails, or escargo. Yeah. Today. And I wouldn't recommend, that's not my recommendation. I didn't love it. I don't love escargo. And they did it really well, and it still is just a little weird to me. It's a rubbery.

I mean, I'm going to, I want to talk a little bit because, I mean, probably number one It would be the Louvre, though. Okay. I didn't really have expectations. Even though I love museums, I just didn't really know much about it. Like, I knew it was, like, iconic and, like, had the Mona Lisa. But, like, I don't care about the Mona Lisa, so I didn't really care that much. But it's just amazing.

There's just, like, every ceiling is painted, like, remarkably. There's, like, tons of naked women paintings and statues. Uh, it's great. It's, it was, it was like just everywhere there's like naked ladies. No, I'm just kidding. There's just like our everywhere. Going back to that. What?

That's a funny joke. All right. You're acting like that wasn't funny. It's, all right. What? Nothing. Say, you know, like. It's a funny, like frat boy joke, but I don't think it's like, oh, it's funny.

Right, whatever. There's lots of penises, too. Yeah, that's funny. A lot of them are chipped off, which is kind of funny. All right. Yeah. No, and like, it just seems like there's so many things there that would be the highlight of any other museum. 98% of museums in the world, and you just don't even like, there's just, it's like sensory overload every corner.

Yeah. And also I'd recommend, like, the metro's great here. It works really well. But an Uber ride through, like, the heart of Paris is just so cool because every single building looks like they have thought put into it. And I just, like, I was blown away by how cool, like, every building was. And also the roundabout thing that John Wick and John Wick 4 goes around, that thing is huge and really cool. Art de Triumph or however you say it, Mike. Yeah.

Yeah, you're going to get that classic getting back from a European trip and seeing strip mall's depression that hits you to the U.S. Yeah. So you have that for real. It like makes me want to like learn history. Whoa. Real late in life to get it. Never too late.

Like I just like wish I knew like the background of any of this. Yeah. Well, we'll find you a time separate. and you can warp back. That's so much easier. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks guys again.

Thank you listeners. If you are looking for more content, we have our Patreon and our Apple Gris Club subscription channels. Constantly posting new content to those. Those episodes tend to be a bit more off the wall. They're really fun. They're often led by Mike or Jeff. Lots of content there.

Probably close to 100 hours of content for you if you want some more. So check us out. I'll let you guys go to bed. Love you. We'll talk to you later. Love you. See ya.