Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Abbas Wahab: Toronto Mike'd #1103

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

In this 1103rd episode of Toronto Mike'd, Mike chats with comedian Abbas Wahab about The Immigrant Section, being "Safe Black" and how The Simpsons taught him English. Toronto Mike'd is proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, Canna Cabana, StickerYou, Ridley Funeral Home and Electronic Products Recycling Association.

Welcome to episode 1103 of Toronto Mic'd. Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery. A fiercely independent craft brewery who believes in supporting communities, good times and brewing amazing beer. Order online for free local home delivery in the GTA. StickerU.com. Create custom stickers, labels, tattoos, and decals for your home and your business. Palma Pasta. Enjoy the taste of fresh, homemade Italian pasta and entrees

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Learn more at cannacabana.com. Today, making his Toronto mic debut is comedian Abbas Wahab. That hesitation was for some dramatic effect there, but I know it's Wahab. How did I do? Yeah, Wahab, Wahab how did i do yeah wahab wahab it's abdul wahab it's really arabic so either way you're doing fine so you say your name the you know properly and then i'll uh i'll see how i say it go ahead abbas wahab abbas wahab okay abbas welcome man nice to see you hey nice to be here man thanks for having me do you drive like do you drive an automobile yes sir uh did. Did you drive here? You're like, are you using Geico

insurance? No, I don't have any insurance. Okay. Cause this morning I returned a Nissan Armada that I borrowed for a camping trip and this thing was just humongous. So I just wanted to thank the good people at Nissan for this. Basically, it's just a ginormous automobile. I don't know if you've seen these Armadas, but you could live in these things. Oh, yeah. They're like those Infiniti QX80s or whatever. Just massive.

Massive automobile. But that's good because I had a lot of gear and stuff to go camping. It was roomy and it was smooth. And the six-year-old did not get motion sickness. So it was actually a great week. And I returned it this morning. And then on the... so i throw my bike in the back of the armada then i drop off the armada and then i bike to great lakes brewery so do you drink by the way i'm so rude as a host because you sat down and i didn't ask you do you want a cold beer from the

fridge as long as it's great lakes brewery okay i don't touch anything else do you want a cold beer from the fridge as long as it's great lakes brewery okay i don't touch anything else do you have a preference like ipa or a canuck pale ale or a lager do you have a preference yeah i'll do an ipa when i'm doing just one beer i'll do an ipa okay so this guy right here is fine uh but you're but that's room temp you don't want me to run up and get you one of the fridge it's up to up to you. But I like my beer cold. But some people do like it at room temp. Well, Mike, if you're offering. Obvious.

I'm going to run up and grab that for you. So here's what you're going to do because I won't edit this. Give everybody, and I'll be listening as I'm doing this because I'll only be 25 seconds, but give everybody a background on like I mentioned you're a comedian, but there might not be a lot of name recognition with you, a boss. So give everybody like a one-on-one on you and then we'll pick it up and kind of dive deeper,

but go ahead. You're in charge. I'll be right back. Okay. Yeah. Local guy raised in London, Ontario, out here in Toronto and trying to make my mark.

Thank you for having me on the podcast. To all you beautiful listeners out there, check out my newest self-produced special on YouTube called Safe Black. The name, we will get into it. But yeah, you could listen to it on Apple, Spotify, Google, wherever the hell you get albums. It's available there.

And like I said, cut for a full video special as well on my YouTube, youtube.com slash Abbas Wahab. Check out the self-made comedy special. 25 minutes. Check that out. Get the back story or hear it right now. He's coming down the stairs. People don't like silence. And we are...

Tell people what I gave you there. Burst. Ooh, we got Burst. Beautiful can artwork. Tank 10, Great Lakes Brewery, New England Pale Ale. Burst is also the beer I drank when I dropped by this morning. So I dropped by because I did a site inspection because Thursday night is TMLXX.

That's the, I'm out of breath. I ran. I thought I was in good shape. Eight steps. It's funny how like, I went for a 60K ride the other day and I felt great the whole time and there's lots of hills and stuff.

But then I run up the stairs and back and I'm like, I'm not sure I'm in as good a shape as I think. It's kind of like, it's a different like. Muscle groups. Is that it? Yeah. 60K, that's what, eight steps of vertical movement. i think it's kind of like it's a different like uh muscle groups 60k that's what eight steps of vertical movement no that's no it's funny it's like what's going on here okay so uh i went to great lakes for a site inspection because thursday night is the 10th

toronto mic listener experience if you're going to crack that open do it on the mic so you want to go first and then i'll go second i also have a burst right the mic, so right in front of the mic. I like to look at this thing. Okay, okay, got it. What, you have no fingernails there. Don't use your teeth. If you break your tooth. Oh, I do. Trust me, I do this all the time.

People need to, it's all on track eight of the new album. I'm kidding, imagine. But yeah, this is for Great Lakes. Obvious, that's bad. I'm warning you, you're going to chip your tooth. That's, I mean.

I didn't get a nice, because it was alls because it wasn't all in one fluid motion. And I know nothing sells at Great Lakes like a tsss. What are you doing Thursday night? This Thursday? Yeah. Come quickly up with a good excuse because, you know, I know where you're at. Oh, I'm doing a thing. Mike, I'd love to, but I'm doing a thing.

You're washing your hair. Yeah, a thing, yeah. He's like, I thought you were bald. Yeah, it's a treatment. Wait, what do you have under that hat? I haven't seen. Oh, yeah, you are bald. Stubble, my friend. I'm... You're washing your hair. I think, yeah. He's like, I thought you were bald. Yeah, it's a treatment. What do you have under that hat? I haven't seen... Oh, yeah, you are bald. Stubble, my friend.

Okay, you're not washing your hair. You're scrubbing your beard. No, I'm doing a very optimistic treatment. It's a scalp treatment with a lot of optimism and faith. Heavily religion-based. Many FOTMs are collecting on the lawns of Great Lakes Brewery, which is 30 Queen Elizabeth Boulevard, for TMLXX, which is our 10th Toronto Mic Listener Experience,

and we're celebrating 10 years of Toronto Mic. So I was there, like, where's the stage going to be? Like, where does the Palma Pasta go? Because Palma Pasta, and you're leaving here with a lasagna. Okay. You're going to get your lasagna. Palma Pasta is going to feed everybody who comes out. Where's the pasta going to be?

Everybody who comes out for TMLXX gets their first beer on the house. By the way, five bucks for that beer. Do you have cash or do you want to tap? Just kidding. We'll talk. We'll figure it out. But your first beer is on the house and

where's everybody going sit like just just checking it all out and it's all in good shape so like i'm like super jazzed about this uh and i want you to know abbas you are like totally invited to this if you're around thursday night from 6 to 9 p.m where's it located it's like near royal york and queensway what what neck of the woods do you live in i'm not a york, a little south of Yorkdale. Okay. Well, you know, you jump on the... Way up there. Yeah.

I don't know. Get on the Gardner somehow. I don't even know how you do it. I would open up Google Maps probably. I think you can go 401 to 427. 427, I don't know what they'll get you to exit on. You take Eglinton exit or Black Creek or whatever. Get on the Gardner and then you take like Islington North

and then you get up and then you get. Anyways, it's right down the street from the Costco. So you're invited, dude. Glad to meet you. I heard that you're from London. Yes, sir. Raised in London, originally from Sudan. Okay.

How old were you when you arrived in London? Six years old. Yes, sir. Okay. So what are your memories of Sudan? Have you been back? I did. I used to go back every five years or so for the summers.

And it was interesting, right? Because I didn't really, I grew up in like subsidized housing in London. But then when you go back to Sudan, you're like a Canadian prince, right? Oh, wow. So it's like you go from like subsidized housing to like, oh, it's the prince of Canada. So it's like you go from subsidized housing to like, oh, it's the Prince of Canada. Well, I just was reading that Nazem Qadri had brought the cup to London this past weekend, I think. Oh, yeah. A long time ago, him and I won some awards for the Muslim Association community thing.

He won a sports, kind like, did it big in sports and I won like a big in academia type of thing. Okay, so you're a smart guy. Once upon a time I was. I did engineering and... Oh, look at you. What post-secondary school did you attend? The University of Waterloo. Okay.

Great school. Okay, look at you. I have no idea who's going to be in my basement. Smart cookie here. Okay, so we are going to talk about the immigrant experience later. So you're six years old. You arrive in London. I always wonder, like, why London? Why not Toronto? Like, why London?

Well, pretty much no matter where you're from around the world, you figure out where your people are, and you just go there. And then they just give you the lay of the land. And it's kind of like an on-site tutorial for your arrival so that's why like lebanese are in calgary that's why sudanese are in london etc etc okay i'm learning a lot here um kanon uh is from sudan right i'm trying to kanon the rapper kena uh somalia oh yeah yeah yeah close okay i'm not mad where's the map here i'm geographically challenged shout out to esri here so we're going to talk about the the immigrant experience Yeah, close. I'm not mad. Where's the map here? I'm geographically challenged.

Shout out to Esri here. So we're going to talk about the immigrant experience. And that's cool that you and Kadri got these awards. So are you a practicing Muslim? Like, is this, are you a religious man? No, no, not at all. Well, you know, besides my three o'clock burst IPAs. Okay, you know, let's real talk here, okay?

Yeah. You're not allowed to drink if you're a practicing Muslim? Is that correct? Correct. Okay, so that's one violation there. What else? Are you allowed to eat pork? No pork, no drinking, no premarital sex, no

shit-talking, no hurting yourself. So technically speaking, you're not even supposed to smoke cigarettes, but you know, obviously there's a gray area there can you smoke weed oh you can't no no no what if it's medicinal absolutely okay so that's you're allowed to get use medicine okay but you can't smoke weed for recreational purposes yeah so you gotta you gotta show your medical card to god you know what i mean you gotta pull it up with the imam, show him the card. He's like, okay, cataracts. All right, you're good to go. Let me understand this. And I was raised Catholic and

now I'm a happy atheist. But is it the thought process there? And I know you're no longer practicing because you cracked open a beer, but you're in big trouble, mister. Yeah, with my teeth. Make no mistake. So that's like an O for two right there. But like God doesn't want you to have fun. Is that it?

Like is it too much fun? Like just give me the reasoning behind, because I understand the pork thing. I spoke to my rabbi, not that kind of rabbi, Ralph Ben-Murray, you know, back in the day, like you could get sick because they didn't have good refrigeration and stuff. Like you could get sick from eating the pork and stuff.

So there was like this historic reason, like long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. But I'll talk about that in a minute. but like what is the reasoning behind no alcohol no weed no premarital sex and all that is it just like to keep you in line like what is the deal there essentially we'll say that essentially long story short yes but what's funny about alcohol is as it as the uh religious lore goes it used to allowed, but then kind of like a story out of the Garden of Eden, Muslims fucked up way too hard, proved they couldn't handle it, so then it became forbidden.

It's like a punishment. It's sort of like when your kids are acting up and you're like, okay, no more tablets. I'm taking away the tech for the weekend or whatever. That's what happened with alcohol with us. We partied way too. It was like animal house. Can you get it back? If you're good, can you earn it back?

There should be some kind of merits program or whatever. That's the crazy part. There isn't. There's no sort of system, second chance system. No rehabilitation, none of that. Now, do your parents know you drink alcohol? Are they okay with the fact you're breaking all the rules? No, absolutely not.

My mom's like none level, not really. She won't hear this then? I the fact you're breaking all the rules? No, absolutely not. My mom's like, none level. Like, well, she won't hear this then? I'm worried you're going to edit this. No, no, no. Unless we start talking

about the prophet's doings, right? But like, not really privy to like all of my comedy happenings, multimedia happenings, but absolutely not.

In fact, my mom would be shocked to find out that I had premarital sex. I'm shocked to find that out. I had it right before I came. No, imagine.

I was in the car by myself. So you're not married then. I am not. I'm learning everything from you on the fly here. Okay. I'm a disappointment. Okay,

so, and you will eat bacon, right? Because you're not practicing. So like, you'll eat pork? I've got taste buds. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I will, I will. Is it at all like Judaism? Again, remember,

I'm a happy atheist who was raised Catholic, right? So it's like, I'm trying to learn all these things. But I do know people who are Jewish, like they participate in all these like Jewish customs. Like they'll have holidays where the family gets together. And there's all these like Jewish things they do. But they're, they consider themselves like atheists like it's sort of like they follow judaism like for cultural like i want to say almost like family or nostalgia reasons like where i don't know if i have that in me like like i'm either in or i'm out like if i'm out i'm not sure i'm going through the motions on all these like so will you celebrate religious holidays yeah it's for me it's the same for jews where it's like family and religion are so intertwined there's no escaping one without

the other whereas for a lot of people used to be families family time and on sundays we go to church so if i don't do that i just skip the sunday part whereas with jews and muslims everything is freaking intertwined so deeply that like walking away from the religion is just like when am i gonna see them again? Okay, gotcha. Okay, so we're going to dive deep into more of this, but can you tell me, no, actually, before I ask you to tell me anything, I'm going

to tell you something, Abbas. You listening closely here? Let go of my arm, you're hurting me. For almost 50 years, you're a much younger man than me, but for almost five decades, there's a word I haven't been able to say correctly. Okay, this is, I'm glad you're here. I hope it's not the N-word, bro. You're in much younger man than me, but for almost five decades, there's a word I haven't been able to say correctly. Okay, I'm glad you're here. I hope it's not the N-word, bro.

You're in my basement. These are my rules. It is not the N-word, okay? And I'm glad you said the N-word, although you have license, I suppose. I don't know. I don't say that word. But in fact, even when I'm in the car now,

I hope my daughter's listening. If I'm in the car now and I'm listening to one of the jams I love that's dropping the N-word, I'll rap along and I'll go quiet for that part. Even when I'm alone in the car, okay? That's how... Progressive. That's how...

How much of an ally you are, Mike. I know I liked you. That's how much I won't say that word. Yeah. Okay, shout out to Wendy Mesley. Okay. So, there's a word. I'm going to spell it for you and then you're going to say it. But first, I'm going to say the word I can say correctly. What a word. I'm going to spell it for you, and then you're going to say it.

But first, I'm going to say the word I can say correctly. I'm going to spell this, right? You're a smart guy. I heard you went to engineering school and all. W-O-M-A-N. Okay. Visualize that. W-O-M-A-N.

What is that word? Woman. Right. Okay. Woman. Right. Did I say that word? Woman. Right. Okay. Woman. Right. Did I say it right? Woman?

Right. I believe so. So for like 50 years, I can say the word woman. That is singular. To me, that's the equivalent of the word man. Right? Absolutely. So you're a man.

And if there's two of us in this basement, we are men. Okay. Men. So you take the word woman and you change M-A-N to M-E-N. Now say that word. W-O-M-E-N. Say that word, Abbas.

Women. Say it again. Women. See, you're doing what I think I do. You, it sounds, your W-O-M-E-N sounds exactly like W-O-M-A-N. Because what I do,

it's all about me now, Abbas. I take the word woman and then I try to just keep the first part. I keep that first syllable exactly the same. And in my brain, I change the M-A-N to M-E-N. So my woman becomes woman. And those words, so somebody wrote me a note and said, I have a tip for you. Like,

you keep mispronouncing this word. I've been doing it wrong for 50 years. Elvis has had fun with me and everybody. Steve, the Steve gentleman, thank you. I think he's going to be at TMLXX on Thursday, so I'll give him a more public thank you. But he said to me, it's not, you're doing it wrong. Like, you don't take the first syllable and just change the second syllable it's a whole different word think of it as rhyming with like swimming or simmons steve simmons is an fotm so women right it's women like it's not woman woman it's woman women women the w-o-m is like w-i-m yeah like women you hear that i absolutely and i think off the bat i kind of say women and what i do is when i want to refer to a singular woman i just say a lady you know and solve that that's right i just go lady or chick so it's wonder woman and if if she

were cloned there would be wonder women women So I just want to let the world know. It would be wonderful women. I now have the secret. I feel like it's got to rhyme with Simmons. Women. But here, I can't wait for Elvis to come back. I think he'll be back for Festivus. And then I'm going to let him know.

I figured this out. So Abbas, I can now say the word women. Hooray. Let's go. Cheers to that. Cheers to that, Mike. All right, cheers. It's like, let's hit the tap on the mic.

Do you smoke weed? Oh, absolutely. So I'm going to hand you... This is the last one, so you should be honored to be getting this here. This is a Canna Cabana ashtray. That's for you right now. I'm handing it over. If you're buying cannabis or cannabis accessories, Canna Cabana

will not be undersold. I'm talking to Andy there about what he's bringing to TMLXX on Thursday. But yeah, there you go. That's a little swag for you from that. You can have that. Thank you. Thank you. You can have the lasagna.

You can have the beer from Great Lakes. A little more housekeeping before we dive into more Abbas here. Farah Nasser. Do you know this name, Farah Nasser? No, I don't. She is like a global news anchor if you ever watch global news. Farah Nasser. Now, she was scheduled to be my guest

Thursday, which was going to be tricky anyways because I'm getting ready for TMLXX, but she was going to come over Thursday. Now, her kid has an appointment, so we postponed that till mid-September, and I was going to ask Farah, like, what does she think of what's going on with Lisa Laflamme? Are you aware of the Lisa Laflamme controversy? I'm not.

These are all new names to me. This is news to you too. Who was Lisa Laflamme? And I didn't watch her either, but I was well aware of her, like, who she was. But she's the lead anchor for, like, the national news from CTV. Okay. So is it fair to say, you're a much younger man than me,

that television news is nowhere on your radar? You don't get your news by tuning in to television stations. No, no, I say that. That just gets me all depressed and worked up. So how do you consume your news? Every time before I record a podcast, I go quickly on google news

i type in world news and i skim through for anything that's noteworthy and anything that's big enough will make its way to me you know things you need to know people will tell you we'll make your way back okay so how often do you record a podcast once a week uh do you have a set day or does it depend um it releases on tuesdays i record whenever i can get the guests in okay and can you tell me about your setup like does your guest visit you do you have a studio i have a studio in my house uh two cameras set up two mics i got a a producer that comes in now but the first 150 episodes or so were solo okay so you self-produced the first hundred and now you have a producer why am i not the producer how did i not get that gig oh i didn't know i could afford you mike you got a

nice basement setup i don't got money like that how does it compare to my setup i like this this is this is a lot more space conscious very good i like it you got an economy of space absolutely because i have no more room in in the inn I'm using a full bedroom and it's already pushing my relationship to the limits. So I get where you're at. Who sleeps in that bedroom? No one. It's just a giant desk and office and everything. Okay.

So what is your name of your podcast and what is it about? It's called the Immigrant Section. Okay. Have immigrants on. We shoot the shit. We do just something like this, but there's ethnic people in the room. Are white people allowed on your program? Absolutely.

That was the last guess I had. As long as they're from another country? No. Okay. Even white people. Even people born here? Even people born here. Okay.

In fact, my last guess was conceived in a test tube. He was a white guy that came right out of a brochure maximum white blonde hair blue eyes for parents that could not conceive he came out of the catalog okay okay so even he made the cut he's an immigrant though from like a test tube yeah exactly so uh how many episodes have you done 170 okay no i think that's amazing i i would argue most podcasts don't see episode 170 that is uh fantastic 1100 it's crazy how long have you been doing this well we're celebrating 10 years on thursday that's what that's incredible so you do i guess two episodes a week uh okay well you know nowadays i'm doing probably more than that so like it's like in the

beginning it was like in the beginning it was like once a week or so and then it kind of morphed into maybe twice a week when did you shift to twice uh well at some point my full-time job disappeared and i started my own uh digital services company called tmds and then when that happened in 2018 i realized i could just do whatever the fuck i want like if i want to have, you know, a boss on a Monday tomorrow, Rob Pruce, who is the keyboardist, he was keyboardist for Spoons during their heyday. And here, let me, okay,

so I'm going to do a lot of tangents here, boss. But so Rob Pruce, who lives in New York, is visiting me. He's going to be here where you're sitting now. He'll be there tomorrow. And we're going to kick out the jams. And that's amazing. And then he's coming to TMLXX on Thursday. And soon I'll share an itinerary

because I've been working on what's happening when. But at some time between 6.30 and 7, Rob is going to go on the keyboard and he's going to play something for us. I'm hoping for Nova Heart. Give us some Nova Heart keyboard performance or whatever. But this is happening and I think that's pretty damn cool because he's one of our great keyboardists okay talking about a world level talent here huh are you familiar with spoons

i can't say that you're too young listen i know the doors that's even older probably the yeah the doors are older i i have a mind blow about the doors i might share it do you want it? You could save it for Thursday or you could tell me off air. You won't be there. Okay, let me... I actually had to take notes. Hey, don't write me off so quick, Mike. I might show up. Is there stand-up happening?

We have a mutual friend, right? Can you shout out the FOTM who introduced you to me? Do you know who I'm talking about? Amish Patel? Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah, Ken. That's my about? Amish Patel? Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah, I can. That's my guy. Amish Patel. Okay, bring Amish to TMLXX. I loved my chat with him. Want me to call him right now?

Yeah, do you want to call him? We can put him on speakerphone and just ask him what he's doing Thursday night and then ask him if he's coming to TMLXX. Call Amish Patel. Okay, this is exciting. Honestly. He's always on Do Not Disturb. Well, if he doesn't answer, he doesn't answer. But this is exciting. Okay, this is exciting. Honestly. He's always on Do Not Disturb. Well, if he doesn't answer, he doesn't answer. But this is exciting.

Okay, let's see. We should have warned him to be... Call Amish Patel. Okay, this is exciting. Call Amish Patel. Freaking Siri sucks sometimes. Here we go. Okay, let's see. Okay, live podcasting. Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go. And then maybe I'll run my mind blow by you regarding the doors. Okay, so we're calling FOTM Amish Patel. Hey, brother. God is good, huh? Yes, my God is good. Brother, I'm here with Toronto Mike. He wants to ask me, how do I even know you?

Say hi to Toronto Mike. You're on air, brother. Toronto Mike, what's up, buddy? How you doing? Ask him if he's. He wants to ask me, how did I even know you? Say hi to Toronto Mike. You're on air, brother. Toronto Mike, what's up, buddy? How you doing? Ask him if he's coming. He can't hear me, right? Ask him if he's coming to TMLXX on Thursday night. Are you coming to TMLXX on Thursday night, bro? 10 years of Toronto Mike.

He needs to know. Wow. I have a loving kindness meditation. It's like a, I think I told him about it too. I emailed him and we talked about this. But listen, I think it'll be a great, I'll send a loving kindness for my meditation. It's like a, it's, I think I told him about it too. I emailed him and we talked about this. But listen, I think it'll be a great, I'll send a loving kindness

from my meditation. And where does your meditation air? Not air, it's a live in person at content day. It's a studio on 100 Symes Road in Toronto.

So it's a great, it's a great event. Same day, same time. I'm just kidding. Same day, same time basically. So how do you know Amish?

Oh, me and Amish just met in the comedy scene. Okay, I'm going to let you go, Amish. All right. Peace and love to him. Peace and love. Bye, buddy. Just from the comedy scene, you know, I got Amish is actually a pretty involved actor and writer. He's part of the Writers Guild.

He actually taught me a lot about acting. He used to run an audition studio out of his house that I auditioned. That was the first TV I ever booked was auditioning from his house. What show? The Boys. Oh, that's a big one. Yeah. Okay.

I was going to say some obscure thing. Nobody's ever seen it. Yeah, exactly. Oh, The Boys. Toronto Bagels. You've never heard of it? So how does that work? So The Boys have him auditioning?

No, no, no, no, no. He just ran a studio out of his house. Nice microphone, nice camera, and I do a self-tape there. Oh, I see. Okay, I got Peter Gross in advertisement once because we did that here. Okay, so we're ready for the mind blow,

and I don't know if I'll be there. Please, please. Okay, there's a lot going on here, but you mentioned the doors, so here we are. So the doors, and this is not the mind blow, but the doors were known as The Raven, okay?

The band was known as The Raven, but Jim Morrison was reading Addis Huxley. You're a smart guy. You know Addis Huxley. He wrote a book on psychedelic drugs, and he called it The Doors of Perception, okay? That was the Addis Huxley book. That title comes from a quote

from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, which is by William Blake, and he wrote this. You ready? If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up till he sees all things through narrow chunks of his, sorry, narrow chinks of his cavern. So this is a William Blake quote in The Marriage of Heaven and Hell that Adas Huxley took for The Doors of Perception, his book. And that's what Jim Morrison was reading when he

renamed The Raven The Doors. You with me? Yeah. So Blake's Marriage of Heaven and Hell also inspired a book called The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. And this is about your, like the divorce of heaven and hell. So this was like C.S. Lewis's response to the Blake book that was inspired, the Addis Huxley book that inspired Jim Morrison to name his band The Doors.

Okay, so you're like, Mike, where is it? Okay, so ready? C.S. Lewis and Addis Huxley, they died on the exact. Okay, so you're like, Mike, where is it? Okay, so ready? C.S. Lewis and Addis Huxley, they died on the exact same day, November 22nd, 1963. But,

my dear friend Abbas, very few people even noticed that these heavyweights, these literary heavyweights, had passed away on November 22nd, 1963. Do you know why? It was barely made a ripple in the news.

Did Jim Morrison die that day? No, he dies in like 71, I think. 70 or 71. 1963, November 22nd. But you're on the right path. Malcolm X got shot? See, no, but I'll let you know right now. Somebody did get shot. That is the day that John F. Kennedy was assassinated.

So C.S. Lewis, Addis Huxley, John F. Kennedy, they all died that day. And that story, as I say it out loud, I'm glad I'm using it now. I probably won't use it Thursday. But that is, of course, all tied into the doors. Shitty time to die. Imagine anyone who went missing that day

or those couple days. Well, Farrah Fawcett. Do you know that? I was just talking about Farrah Nassar. But Farrah Fawcett. Is that a name you've ever heard before? The Fawcett part, yes. Okay, well.

I'm a big fan of Fawcett. Shout out to that bathtub place. And plumbing. Shout out to plumbing in general. So Farrah Fawcett died the day that Michael Jackson was murdered. And she's another one who kind of got lost in the noise there. I like that we're going with fully murdered now. Isn't that proven?

Well, I mean, it was malpractice, right? I thought he was murdered. I thought the doctor got whatever for malpractice. And I don't know if anything, it's manslaughter. I'm not up to date on my Michael Jackson death stuff, but I thought it had been like promoted to murder. Has it? I don't know. Now I need to Google it.

I mean, it's sensationalist as hell. I love it. The murder of Michael Jackson. I'm waiting on the documentary. See, I've been telling people for years that Michael Jackson was murdered. See, all the people who don't read the news, they're just propagating now. Yeah, he got murdered. I've heard of him.

This is why you need to get your news from another source. I should have Googled him. Yeah, no, I thought he was on constant sort of like sleeping medication, and the doctor just kind of overdid it and just kind of gave him that permanent sleep, you know? You know what? Well, look, if you can phone Amish while uh yeah let me get back here i mean if you could get the mindfulness healing meditation what does that mean he's doing a mindful like what he's hosting i'm sure he told me meditation now he literally hosts a thing where

he goes think about this and let it go and meditate on that and this and that it's like a guided meditation essentially okay so now I'm looking quickly through the Wikipedia page titled Death of Michael Jackson. Yes. On August, here it is. This is where my fun, it's not fun at all. My non-fun fact comes from.

August 28th, 2009, the Los Angeles County Department of Medical Examiner-Coroner concluded that Jackson's death was a homicide. Oh. And we all know that means it's murder. Jackson had been administered propofol and anti-anxiety

benzodiazepines lorazepam and midazolam by his doctor. Murray, his name was, this bad doctor, Conrad Murray, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in November 2011 and was released in 2013 after serving two years of his four-year prison sentence

with time off for good behavior. Good behavior. Ah, you got to love that good behavior. Okay, so the conviction is manslaughter, but the coroner concluded it was a homicide. So, you know, yeah, okay. So maybe I need to say instead of murder, I don't know how you word that exactly.

So he killed Michael Jackson but he made his bed every night for two years. So, I mean, he corrected it with the good behavior at least. Right. Maybe, you know, because Michael Jackson, I don't know if you heard, but there was some controversy about him. So maybe Michael Jackson? Yeah. So maybe they're like, oh, we're okay with this.

Like maybe there's a little of that going on. Who knows? But there you go. Okay. We cleared that up. What did you think of the Doris not that great a mind blow is it as i say it aloud i was hoping on i was hoping it was going to be about jim morrison it always comes down to so you're a big doors fan i wouldn't say i'm a big chat about jim morrison yeah i just thought anything you hear about the doors seems to kind of come back on like who you know the lead guy is whatever it is although that's another keyboard band like is it ray manzarek uh but that keyboard is that's the sound of the door is when you think about it like it's very keyboard centric do you play keyboard no

but i do have a keyboardist here tomorrow but you yeah exactly you keep going around like the keyboardist to that was actually this i'm like something it seems like do you play keyboards i do not in fact funny story i got taken out of music class when I was a kid just how religious my mom was So what's your relationship like with your mom now? I think that would be tough Well after three years of engineering and then leaving that to do comedy and acting

Did you get the degree? Oh absolutely, I was an engineer for three years So what do you do for money? I'm an actor I book comedy, I tour? I'm an actor. I'm an actor. I book comedy. I tour comedy. I'm pretty much acting comedy and making content online for whoever the hell is pretty much how I make my money. I have a tweet from Abbas Wahab.

Wahab? Yes. Okay. You know, I'm sorry. You got it, brother. It's actually getting good. You're dialing it in. Abbas Wahab on Twitter is, not that you tweet very much, but the Abbas Wahab.

And you wrote, acting is weird. You book something once every couple of months. And while you're on set for a day, you get treated like a rich diva. Then you leave, turn on the Uber Eats app, and deliver food to the crew members' houses. It's true. That's a true story. That's a true story. That's a true story. So tell me,

like, what are you booking? You know, it sounds like you book something every couple of months, but other than the boys, what else have you booked other than the boys?

Handmaid's Tale, I just did. That's good. Star Trek. I watched that. Yeah, I was a full, Star Trek,

the new season of Strange New Worlds, episode one. I'm a Klingon. I'm the Klingon guy okay okay because FOTM Dana Levinson appeared in that show

so go back to The Handmaid's Tale first and then we'll get to the Star Trek thing what did you do on The Handmaid's Tale just one line in the scene

with was it Kate Moss or whatever the hell but Elizabeth Moss Elizabeth Moss yeah Kate Moss is another

actress right yeah she was with like wasn't she with johnny depp or something yeah that's the model i think the correct moss yeah the one who's number one number one on the call sheet whereas i'm like 900 so what's her name again and remember you were talking about the doors okay the rolling stones are named i think the rolling stones are named after the dylan song like a rolling stone i think but but that comes from the expression a rolling stone gathers no moss because it's always moving moss it's always moving all right back to this uh yeah i just do one quick line

in in one quick random scene a lot of these times you do the show and like all the actors in it love the show so like i can't believe i read the whole script and it's like i'm like i have none of only the boys only the boys that actually watch and enjoy the show so usually i have no idea what's going on and i'm not and you didn't read the margaret atwood novel that i did not inspire this show i did not it's on my list you know i'm like It's on my list. But it was very fun. It was very interesting to actually work because usually there's a strange vibe between the leads and whatnot and just how they operate on set. But this was a very fun and loose set. I forget the name of the director, but it was hilarious.

At one point, he goes, right before we started shooting, he looks at the whole, everyone on set right before we go and he goes remember no one is to feed or make eye contact with Elizabeth Moss and everyone just dies laughing I forget the director pure comic timing okay did you ever see

the show Mad Men absolutely I actually like that show okay well there's Elizabeth Moss's big breakthrough yeah

oh yeah she was in that hell yeah she was a secretary. She was a huge... Well, she rose the ranks. No, she was secretary. Yeah. And then she rose the ranks to become like...

Despite all odds. Don't forget despite all odds. There was a weird story. I mean, I guess I am going to spoil a bit because it's been a long time. Yeah, spoiler alert. They did this whole thing where she got pregnant with Peter's baby.

And this was a whole thing. By the way, the actor who played Peter, his wife was in Handmaid's Tale. The one from Gilmore Girls, Rory Gilmore, who my wife met at an Ontario Science Center and asked for a selfie. And she politely said, no. Next to the electrostatic. She continued to touch the electrostatic. Yeah. She continued to touch the ball that made her hair stick.

Okay, so this was like an early storyline that Peggy was her name. Okay, Peggy. Peggy was pregnant and Dawn Draper, it was a cool scene where she's giving birth or something and Dawn Draper said something like, it will shock you how much this never happened. And like literally, it was never referenced again. Like it was like it never happened.

Like this never came back. It's just she gave birth. I don't know what happened to the baby. And then she came back to work. And it was like it never happened. That was a whole early storyline on the matter. The 1950s. Jesus.

Peggy Olsen. That was her name elizabeth moth okay so you did that you did the boys you mentioned and then you mentioned that star trek series anything else i've heard of those are three big ones though yeah i did uh i did a pretty sick role in what we do in the shadows i don't know if you know that show i've heard of it because people tell me it's great i've never seen it but i heard good things that's another big one you only do good shows it's just been good isn't there a lot of shitty shows you could be doing there boss

oh there's a lot of shitty shows I've done those are the ones that I've written you're name dropping the ones that people like you're proud of oh absolutely

and I think that's what you were going for too I think we're both on the same page here what like what's the worst like the worst thing you ever did And I think that's what you were going for too. I think we're both on the same page here. What's the worst thing you ever did? Well, when I first started, I would do a lot of background stuff. And that background is definitely the worst.

Is that where you have to pretend you're having a conversation in a restaurant or something? They just tell you, say peas and carrots, peas and carrots, peas and carrots. Whoa, those people are having a conversation. You can tell by the fact that their lips are moving, saying peas and carrots. So from now on, when I see people in the background, I know they're saying peas and carrots. Tune in on it. Yeah, a lot of times it is peas and carrots. That was a mind blow you could have delivered on Thursday night. You'll make a wine with that one.

You know that show American Gods? No. There's a show called American Gods filmed here in Toronto. When I first got in the game, I was a slave in the background. Not even a foreground slave. game i was a a slave in the background not even a foreground slave you know a background slave what's the furthest you've traveled for a role like do you make these oh you gotta be filming in toronto like how far would you travel nova scotia nissan commercial nissan lent me that car last week yeah the nissan kashqai. I was there. See, I'm going to say that's not.

Oh, yes. Q-A-S-H-Q-A-S-H. The garbage car. Sorry, Nissan. I think my ex-wife drives one. Yeah, exactly. Good. You could fit two of those inside the Armada.

Honestly, if you could cut them up and piece them down, probably three. The Armada is a boat. It's big. It makes an Escalade look like a Civic. That's right. It's right. It's rolling over Escalades on the... I hope people like this car talk.

It's auto talk. Makes the Escalade look like a Forte. Did you... And here I'm asking you about all the pop culture things, but you know some of them, you don't know others, but what about Star Wars? Like, did you ever watch the original... know others. But what about Star Wars? Did you ever watch the original? You know what's funny about Star Wars? Tell me anything about Star Wars.

I watched all of Family Guy's parodies. Blue Harvest. And all of those. I watched those first before watching the original 456. And then when I did watch 456, I loved them even more. Then you got the references. Oh, yeah. I knew everything was going to happen. I was dying laughing in advance, even though nothing's funny's funny happening i just remembering the satire i watched first they were good those

family they were awesome and it's what you did there so i grew up uh grew up i guess i was 15 when i first saw it i guess i'm already grown up but uh watching like a lot of simpsons and simpsons always did a lot of like uh parodies and stuff of like stuff i had never seen and then i'd always make a point as I got older. I'm like, I need to see Psycho. I need to see all these old movies that are being referenced to

Hecking Gone. Same, same. I grew up... Simpsons taught me English pretty much. Is that right? I moved to Canada in 97 when I was 6 and I would watch Simpsons twice a day for... Growing up, up until 18, everything I watched was Simpsons. In fact, I would go back,

and every classic I watched, I would slowly realize Simpsons referenced all this stuff. When I first watched Chinatown, like Polanski's Chinatown, I was like, wow, Simpsons did all this thing. I never realized it. Citizen Kane. You ever seen Citizen Kane?

I haven't, but I bet you I'll be like, oh, that's what Montgomery Burns did or whatever. Right. Yeah, there's a lot of Monty Burns as such. Even the name, like Charles Montgomery Burns. Charles Montgomery. I think it's because of Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane is like three and a half hours.

Isn't it though? It's like King Kong length. Yeah, but you should see it. I feel like that's one of those things. It's almost like Jaws. You should see Jaws. I know. I got Casablanca on that list too.

Casablanca or Gone with the Wind. Gone with the Wind is like a school one. They made us watch that in school. Oh, it's Discard Little Hero. Okay. Now, okay, lots going on here with Simpsons and stuff, but Star Wars, and then we'll get back to Simpsons. But, so you've seen four, five, six.

Seen one to six. You've seen, okay, the one to six. Okay, okay. Did you watch them in order or did you do four, five, six. Seen one to six. You've seen, okay, the one to six. Okay, okay. Did you watch them in order or did you do four, five, six first and then? No, I did one, two, three because when I was a kid, those were popping off in theaters. So I watched one, two, three and it was just an action movie. I didn't even get what the hell was going on because I never watched four, five, six. Then watch Family Guy.

Then watch four, five, six. And I was like, oh, then i got the fandom when i watched four five so when you're watching one okay so now uh and i just had a convert this is all tying into an episode i had on friday which i want to talk about for a moment but like okay that's the uh young anakin child anakin is pod racing yeah and he's being mentored by Obi-Wan Kenobi, I guess. Who's, yeah. And McGregor, Ian McGregor, I guess, is Obi-Wan Kenobi. So you don't have any sense of who Darth Vader is.

No, I'm just a big, I'm a car guy. So to me, episode one is like alien version of Fast and the Furious. Like that whole first scene. That was all, this is alien Fast and the Furious. You gotta put turbos on a kid or whatever the hell, right? Now that's pod racing. Yeah, right.

What did you think of Jar Jar Binks? I thought he was over the top. You know, I didn't get the context of the whole show at that time. Well, I mean, that character, I think, is casually racist.

Who is he supposed to be? That's Jar Jar Binks, right? Yeah. The big one? Mesa. Oh, kind of like slavish, right? Yeah. That reminds me of my background scene, actually, on American Gods.

Except I had no lines. I was just saying peas and carrots. Even slaves say peas and carrots. Jar Jar Binks, I don't think. Mesa, my man. Yeah, don't think i mean yeah you're right yeah and he's all over that episode but then i know that if you watch two and three which you did very little jar jar like almost no jar jar yeah it's like they figured they realized oh like this the focus groups did not pull well you know that a lot of black people in those focus groups so the guy this is a mind blow for you buddy the guy who uh created the lightsaber he also created r2d2 and he created the millennium

falcon and a whole whack of other stuff you know from star wars lore that guy he actually ended up this guy i'm referring to won an academy award for artction for what he did on Star Wars. That guy's name is Roger Christian and he lives in Mimico. He's an immigrant. Mimico is in Ontario? Oh, Mimico is right next door to where you are now. It's in Toronto, actually. I thought it was all going to tie into

the doors, to be honest. And he was Jim Morrison's grandson. He might have been because Jim Morrison, who's American, but he died in Paris. I don't know where I'm going with that one. Okay. He might have been, because he's, you know, Jim Morrison, who's American, but he died in Paris, and I don't know where I'm going with that one. Okay. So I've been to his grave, though. I've been to Jim Morrison's grave.

I can show you pictures later. But Roger Christian lives in Mimico, which is a neighborhood in southwest Toronto, not far from where you're sitting right now. And he came over last Friday. So I basically had the creator of all that Star Wars stuff, I just name checked,

sitting beside the creator of Just Like Mom. Have you heard of Just Like Mom? I have not. Way before your time, way before your time. Way, way, way, way. That guy's name is Paul Burford. And this episode is just sneaky fantastic. Maybe not even sneaky, just fantastic.

So it's the one just before yours. So if you're episode one. So go ahead and just leave this episode right now. Pause the Abbas before yours so if you're episode one so go ahead and just leave this episode right now pause the abbas episode leave this episode in fact break whatever you're listening to this on roger christian on toronto mike because uh he's fantastic okay so let's talk a little more so i know you're friends with amish we got we had him on the program i i don't know if you checked uh nameed this when I went up to grab your beer, but your debut comedy album is out.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, it's called Safe Black, and this is essentially the vibe I got once I started booking all these commercials. The reason I am booking is because I am what I would call a type as safe black. It's the type of black person that all these sort of commercial interests

want to use for representing their interests. Okay, be more specific here. I'm very interested now. What does that mean, safe black? Safe black. Think of the all-state black guy. Safe black. I'm a safe-looking black guy,

and I've got you in my thoughts, and I hope that everything is safe. So what makes this person person safe well in my experience do you mean good teeth probably a beard you know what i mean think of uncle uncle phil and fresh prince of bel-air right good teeth probably a beard maybe a little chubby i'm not chubby but hey you know that would probably help in the santa claus look would probably help a little bit but just the idea like carl carl maybe in uh no i'm thinking oh and simpsons and no family matters did you ever watch family

matters no that's i was on simpsons yeah yeah sister sister and whatever the hell i didn't watch it either but i think he's the cop from die hard if you ever said oh yeah nice mustache yeah oh nothing says safe like a mustache he's chubby are you... Okay, so a nice looking black man is a safe black man and you were... For commercial interest. You placed a safe black man on many an ad. Absolutely.

Is there any big national ads you can point... A lot of time. Okay, start talking to me about some of these ads and we'll get back to the comedy album. You know, McDonald's,

Questrade, Nissan. Okay, these are big brands. So when you're... Which McDonald's? I did a McDonald's billboard i did a mcdonald's that mixed the spicy chicken thing i did that a while back that was the first big one i'm gonna be spotting you everywhere okay yeah what's funny is one time actually i do a whole bit about this on the special in the album is one time i booked a mcdonald's commercial and it's two neighbors one is shoveling snow one is bringing coffee it's a mccafe commercial one is bringing coffee hey you

know what you're thanks for shoveling here's a coffee for both of us anyways we do it a lot of times where i'm bringing coffee the other guy's shoveling it's a white guy and then eventually i'm like hey can i shovel and they pretty much would not allow me to shovel in this commercial because they're like we don't want you to look like Jar Jar Binks. You know what I mean? Oh, I can see that. That's what I'm saying. You will not do a single thing for that white man.

You will not be doing any physical movements in here. We're trying to sell coffee, buddy, not get sued. Okay. Now, I'm fascinated by this. When you book an ad, I have friends who book ads, and if they're national ads, you get paid differently than if they're like, so like what is the most lucrative ad

you've ever booked? The most lucrative ad. I'm looking for some financial details here, boss. I'm curious how much money there is in these ads. Have you ever had an ad that was aired in the United States? I have and it was non-union

so I got screwed. Pretty much here's how it goes. Let's hear the real talk let's go union defines how much you get paid everything is standardized scale eight to nine hundred bucks a day

this is what they define as this is what you get paid most jobs are scale now if it's a big one they might be like we'll offer two times scale and if you're a big client your agent will be like

my agent my client will only do it for four times scale whatever the hell right so this is a one-time payment this is a one-time payment but for a 13-week cycle so if they renew it you get paid again like you did it again okay now this so i did one for olg pretty much i'm on a couch being like gamble right is the gist of it and now one got that one i keep getting checked.

It's been running for years where you just get a check in the mail again because they ran it for another 13 weeks. Wow. That must be amazing when you get the check and you realize, oh, I guess they renewed that. Oh, it's a couple grand out of nowhere. And you're like, what? Yes.

And the universe is a beautiful thing. It comes to you right when you need it, right when you need it. Are there days you go to the mailbox? Is it literally mail or is it like auto deposit? It is literally mail. It is still literally mail. So you ever go to the mailbox and there's several checks there and you feel like your daddy wore bucks or what?

It's happened before. It's not a frequent feeling, but it's a terrific feeling. Terrific. Okay, this is a good gig. So you feel you're a safe black man but it sounds like i mean what do i know i've never ever filmed an ad uh safe or unsafe but uh you're using the word safe maybe you're using it as a synonym for handsome well i mean i don't know there's some level of handsome where they don't want to book it right because if you get like model perfection they don't get booked in a lot of commercials because they're not relatable level, right?

So you got to be down to earth level of regular day-to-day beauty, right? So maybe if I had a full head of hair, I would be fucked up. But hey, the baldness has brought me back to reality, Mike. And it's beautiful. It's knocked you down just enough that you can book these ads. I'm within the realms of regular. You're attainable handsome. Exactly. Regular people. Exactly. And it's not you down just enough that you can book these ads i'm within the realms of right you're attainable handsome exactly regular people exactly and it's a beautiful thing have you ever uh done a movie like a bit appeared in a movie i have but it's movies you

would never heard of it's all freaking shitty wedding movies in barry like the the barry wedding i don't know if you know this but in barry they're filming all the wedding uh what's it called uh what's it called hallmark all the hallmark movies oh i do know they do them in ontario i didn't know they were barry they're all in barry i feel like ron oliver's i don't know ron oliver had a show way before your time on uh ytv called the ron oliver show and i used to watch this thing and i've been told he now i think wise blot told, but he now directs like all these like Hallmark movies. Like they just, they pump them out. They pump them out.

They always make their money back and they're super cheap to make. So I've done a bunch of garbage little like cafe clerk. Okay. And here's your change 268. And no one has ever, you know what I mean? Like that type of shit. I would say, yeah, I mean, I might not see them, but I think that they're popular. I think a lot of people tune into these Hallmark Christmas movies. I might not see them, but I think that they're popular. I think a lot of people

tune into these Hallmark Christmas movies, no? What do I know? I feel like they're popular. Well, I mean, if they were,

I would have name dropped them along with Handmaid's Tale and Star Trek earlier. You gotta promote them. I think it's a bigger deal. I don't even know the names, to be honest with you. The names come and go.

It'll be like, Susan comes home or whatever the hell, you know? You, my friend, have just returned or recently returned from the 2022 winnipeg comedy

festival oh yeah that was fun i need to know and what was it what's winnipeg like first of all is that your first visit to winnipeg it is what's winnipeg like what horrible horrible you're doing a joke no this is no no i'm not hey the only way to describe it for anyone out there who actually watch simpsons and love simpsons i let you rubbing your eyes like we got a big winnipeg winnipeg fan base i just lost both my winnipeg listeners yeah exactly and then they're they're they're just gonna have to be sitting there toothless just with nothing to hear no but here's the thing about winnipeg though it feels like a city that bought a bad monorail and got bankrupted by it that's the only way to describe you know i don't i know you don't know this but last thursday i played the monorail

song on toronto mic when i was kicking out my favorite jam oh phil hartman there's no better there's no better lyle landley right you know down with the money there's a lot like a mule with the spinning wheel no one knows i got in damn if he knows how to use it. Abbas, I did just play, I can't believe you just name dropped the Monorail episode. One of my favorite songs is that Monorail. One of the best episodes, too. I shouldn't have stopped for the haircut. So pretty much that's how Winnipeg feels. There's a lot of buildings that look like they were made in the last couple years.

A lot of parking structures that look like they were pretty recently constructed. And it's just a ghost town just a ghost town with a lot of like crazy level like drug addiction mental health issues just roaming around type of deal what time of season like what season were you there when were you there exactly when was i there may this may okay i mean you i'm disappointed i mean it was it was what 21 i mean it was like good weather shout out to to FOTM Fred Penner, who spends a lot of his time in Winnipeg. I know he's there quite a bit.

And The Watchmen, okay? This is a rock band, one of my favorite rock bands of all time. Three members of The Watchmen are FOTMs themselves. You are now an FOTM, by the way, friend of Toronto Mike. Woo! A boss, you can wear that with pride.

Do I get some merch for that as well? Yeah, well, I got to find something for you here from can wear that with pride. Do I get some merch for that as well? Yeah, well, I got to find something for you here from Ridley Funeral Home. I got something for you here. A lot of doodads. I actually, so I just went camping with the two little kids, and they had their Ridley Funeral Home flashlights

with them when they'd go to the washroom. I'm going to grab one right now. But I'm surprised to hear this about Winnipeg. Like, maybe you caught it on a bad day i don't know did you maybe you were just uh no the locals were telling me what was going on i'm like what the hell happened to this city like let me put this in perspective all right when i go to tape true story when i go to tape yeah i uh but the shirt i was wearing was fucking with the cameras okay so. So producers were like,

we need you to go to the mall. Would you get a new shirt? So a driver takes me to the mall and get a new shirt. As I'm driving with this driver, he was a musician. I forget his name, but he's actually,

no, no, his name is Gunner because I got a dog and my dog's name is Gunner and I told him that. He's like, my name is Gunner. Gunner, not Penner. His name was Gunner. First of all, let me hand this to you.

That's from Ridley Funeral Home, okay? Thank you, thank you. Pillars of this community. And people can listen to Brad's podcast, Life's Undertaking, wherever you get your podcasts. And Brad Jones will be at TMLXX on Thursday if you want to come shake his hand or get a selfie with him. He's a great guy.

But that's a nice flashlight for you from great. Absolutely. Continue from Ridley. Keep going. But yeah, anyways, this guy was telling me, what the hell happened to this city? And he's telling me, well, you know, there's a lot of issues happening. You know, there's a lot of issues happening you know there's a lot of kind of like there's a lot of gang

activity and there's so much stuff happening where it's like a lot of immigrants are coming and they're kind of just being absorbed into their the gangs that kind of like correspond to the area that they come from and whatever but there's a lot of stabbing violence in winnipeg a lot of stab and people stab you there with with screwdrivers apparently so if you see anyone with like steel-toed boots or a toolbox look the fuck out that's all i'm saying but this guy told me this is true story yeah that his father was a police officer and was stabbed to death on the actual on force the final death of the 1970s in winnipeg and the city yeah crazy stabbing violence.

It's just, I don't know what the hell is going on out there. This sounds horrific. Like, I had no idea. Dude, all I'm saying is this. They had us at a Fairmont Hotel. And me and my girlfriend, we wouldn't go anywhere that the Fairmont Hotel was not visible. We were like, within, it has to be visible. Oh, my goodness.

Okay, I had no idea. And we think this might have to do with the downtown is rough especially the suburbs are where most people are so everyone tells you the suburbs is really where everyone is like right outside the downtown is kind of like oh we can't control this get out of here well that sounds like uh like an american city it does because we typically that's like you hear about not now but i think they're rebuilding it but you hear oh no one you, but I think they're rebuilding it, but you hear, oh, no one,

you know, Detroit, goodbye Detroit. We're all living in the suburbs now or whatever, but that sounds awful for Winnipeg. I'm very sorry to hear that. Hey, I wish them all the best,

but hey, I'm just calling a house. You know what I mean? You gotta tell me what you witnessed. And you know, this, you mentioned, and I'm,

cause it might tie into like the immigrant section, the immigrant section, by the way, that's the name of your podcast. Yes, sir. But with the immigrant experience, is there a vulnerability at play there where you can be susceptible to joining these gangs you alluded to? Because I heard you just say something. Well, that's what he told me. The guy said, so pretty much all these guys come,

and you're trying to survive, and you just kind of get amalgamated into whatever it is. Like everyone is very ethnically divvied up in these gangs. There's a lot of gangs. There's like Aboriginal gangs and African gangs and white gangs. And this, this is like the show Oz,

you know, everyone broke into factions. Apparently that's how it's going down over there. And it's, and you see, you just, you just kind of feel it. You're not doing a great job. I was thinking one day I want to see Winnipeg.

I mean, go see it and be like, that guy was full of shit. We're at ice cream. It's a beautiful time. This is heaven. This is like Disneyland. You know what I mean? But I saw what I saw. And I went in there with an open mind.

A clean slate. Okay, now let's brighter topic here like so the 2022 winnipeg comedy festival that was a blast what exactly i've heard this what exactly is it ron james was telling me about this but what exactly is it you know they just put you into the burton cummings theater which is like the big theater over there and they just kind of televise it for you do galas. So they do different galas that are all like themed. One is themed death. One is themed family. One is themed.

Mine was called Miss Guidance Systems, which is like, I got taught this, but really it was this. You know what I mean? Like all the teachers said to do that, but really it was this. You know what I mean? Like that's Miss Guidance Systems in a nutshell nutshell i did that one there's sex there's like so and you write your own stuff you write your own stuff uh they approve you pretty much submit is it cbc who's doing this cbc okay yeah um so it'll be televised on cbc probably next year because they kind of fell

behind during covid but uh yeah you do the gala do eight to ten comics per gala wow and it's weird because you submit your uh your set in advance then you have to transcribe it and then they tell you can't say abc and then if during the live taping if you mess up anything it's like a full live audience they ask the comedian to come back out just to say the one joke again it's so weird because the audience they ask the comedian to come back out just to say the one joke again it's so weird because the audience is like what the hell you're like okay so i guess they didn't like this so let's try it so anyways my dad's always in the basement it's so weird well no wonder it always looks perfect you guys are cheating exactly before i'm not giving you a redo if you butcher a segment on this program. Before they even start, they go, all right, audience, now give us a loud cheer.

Now give us a medium applause. And give us a low laugh, like a ooh. So they already have all the audio they need. And there's like the signs that go up, which one to do? Like applause. There's no, I was looking for an applause sign. No applause sign. That's cheating.

It broke my heart, to be honest. I was waiting for the applause sign. But they get all the levels of applause and laughter they need in advance. Wow. I'm learning so much. Okay. And they can always throw in like a Wilhelm scream. It's doctored to the max.

You can't do wrong. You can't trust anything anymore. But you did write your own material. Absolutely. And when can I see this on TV? Is it airing soon? Or you're going to tell me now I missed it. Well, I know my good friend Noor Kidway,

a comedian out from Calgary, he taped his last year and it just aired a month ago. I'm assuming... I thought it would come out... The director told me it would come out soonish. I thought it would come out this fall. But I'm thinking it might come out next year. Well, give me a note

when the heck this is airing. I'll stream CBC Gem to hear abbas uh wahab on the 2022 winnipeg comedy festival but just so you know if you want to hear the bit as it was originally done and performed it's all on safe black on my youtube channel yeah like please tell people where they can get safe black and where they can you know help you out like where can we just go to abbaswahab.com. It's on my homepage.

Spell it for those who aren't sure how Wahab is spelled. Oh, so everyone. A-B-B-A-S-W-A-H-A-B.com. It's right there or YouTube.com. Just type in my name. You'll find it on YouTube. You'll find it on my website. You'll find it on Spotify, Apple, everywhere.

Check it out. Okay, and that's Safe Black. That's your like your... That's my debut little album. Right, and the podcast, The Immigrant... Section, also everywhere. Full videos on my YouTube again. Just type in theimmigrantsection.com

or go to my website and it's all connected on the website. Do you edit your podcast or is it all live to tape? Everything is... Like by by editing i don't remove anything but i go in and add a little it's video too so it'll be like a little subscribe thing oh okay the audio part though i do all my own editing for the audio absolutely yeah i but i wanted to get one of these road casters yeah but uh the prices have come down on these like i bought

this for it was like a grand plus when it first came out. Yeah, it was. I think this was like 900 plus tax or something. Yeah. I was told I could have been. I use a little Zoom PodTrack P4 and I just kind of. Yeah. On Adobe Audition, just kind of compress the audio and just. Yeah.

I've added it up a bit. Get it out there. Exactly. My audio is like five minutes of editing. And you got good mics. What kind of mics do you use? Rode Pod mics. Very nice. Yeah, the Pod mics. They're like 220 bucks or editing. And you got good mics? What kind of mics do you use? Rode Pod mics. Very nice.

Yeah, the Pod mics. They're like 220 bucks or something. Yeah, very nice. Dynamic mics. I have a client that's using them. Okay. This is like the level. That didn't exist when I bought these, but these are like 300 bucks plus tax.

These are the Procasters. Very nice, though. Gotta get right on these, sucker. Okay, so many things I want to learn here from you. Okay, so I'm not on TikTok. I just wanted to declare that. I don't feel particularly like, again, I'm much older than you. I don't feel like it's for me.

Like I don't think I belong on TikTok. Like that might be my own little like silly thoughts because my kids are on TikTok. I have a 20-year-old and an 18-year-old. And it feels like their domain, and I prefer Twitter and I I'm on Twitter and it feels like my mom's domain is Facebook. Like, I feel like we've all got our like territories or whatever, but you,

my friend, you have like 120,000 followers on Tik TOK. Like, like, like how come you're kicking ass on Tik TOK? How's Tik TOK going for you? During the pandemic, I just pretty much,

I couldn't go on stage anymore. So I just started creating a bunch of content and garnered a little following there. But yeah, you know what's funny? TikTok is actually surprisingly a little bit for the older people. Right. Yeah, I went to a podcast. In fact, with Amish, we went down to Orlando for PodFest, which is an annual podcast thing. And they've got, with it, they do something called VidFest where they start talking about everything video related.

And one guy just did, I remember this, his little keynote. He goes, a lot of people think that they're too old to enter into TikTok, but the statistics show that most of the contributors to TikTok are in the 30 to 40 range. And if you look at the second most frequent contributors,

from the 40 to 50 range, you know what I mean? If my kids find out they're gonna uninstall the app but all the 20 year olds are turning 30 and all the 30 year olds are turning 40 but it's like it's tiktok is very weird if i do a video that's very polished it doesn't do well i have to give it a vibe of undergroundness i have to make it i have to dirty it don't you get tired of these games? I am so tired. I've come a long time ago. Like I'm pushing this podcast.

I care about it. This is my podcast. I have sponsors. It matters to me. But everything around it, like I don't give a, I don't care about like how many people like a tweet. I don't care how many people like something I post on Instagram. I'm going to take a photo with you after this.

I'm going to put it on Instagram. I don't care five people like it. I don't care. I don't care about any of this engagement because it's like once I start to play the game and I'm like, I got to game the system. Then you're catering. No, thank you. I'm not interested in gaming your algorithm. I do my stuff just through what I think is a novel approach. But if you want to kill it with

the metrics, you have to follow their game you have to do the effects they want you to do you have to post three times a day because then you clearly are prioritizing their platform it's a whole game it really is you think that you mentioned that somebody was pointing out like how often they'd have to feed the tiktok beast i got a life man like we got things to do we got to create the core content we can't be feeding the tiktok beast all uh all day exactly no i agree like i'll i used to post you know maybe once max twice a day because a lot of people just do you know bs type of content you know they're kind of dancing a little bit this i kind of try to do novel funny things which you can't it's one a day is hard enough two a day of those is difficult. Unless you're doing just reaction videos,

like where you're showing a video and being like, Oh no, like this type of thing. But now I'll post like once, twice a week. And the algorithm won't push my stuff. Cause they're like, well,

we didn't really see you for a couple of days. So maybe this one just does. Okay. Well, how frustrating though, because you got your 120,000 followers. So, uh, you know, you, you, you've been doing all right there.

But, okay. And this is all. So, okay. I'm asking these questions as a podcaster. But the immigrant section, in a nutshell, that's where you kind of showcase Toronto's rising ethnic talents, right? Yeah. Even though you just had a white dude on. But he did come from a test tube.

Well, just because I don't want to have it as a closed door to me. You must be this ethnic background, this ABC to enter this studio. That's me. He's a good friend. I'm trying to find out whether I'm ever going to be

on the immigrant section, even if I was born in Parkdale there. Okay. But can you name check some rising ethnic talents using your words that have been showcased on the immigrant section?

Yeah, sure. You know, the Salma Hindi, Keith Pedro. Okay, go slower though. Give me the name and then tell me because I'm going to

check them out. But give me their name and tell me what they're doing. She's been on a couple times. She lives in New York now. She just toured all over the country as Chelsea Handler.

We lost another one. Chelsea Handler's opener. That's the brain drain. Yeah, there you go. New York, okay. She toured with Chelsea Handler's opener. That's the brain drain. New York, okay. She toured with Chelsea Handler? Yeah. Amazing. What's her name again?

Salma Hindi. S-A-L-M-A. Hindi. Who else is killing it right now? So many people. Amish Patel? Amish Patel's been on many times. Amish Patel is doing his own has been on many times Amish Patel

you know is doing his own podcast stuff he came down with me to Podfest I had a cop on constable Mir Lodi that was awesome he's like the

East Asian representative for like the police affairs thing okay so he just goes on like and does media stuff

CTV all this stuff that was an awesome conversation that's cool yeah I've had on some doctors I've had on some startup people So he just goes on and does media stuff, CTV, all this stuff. That was an awesome conversation. That's cool. Yeah. I've had on some doctors. I've had on some startup people. Mostly we'll have on comedians and actors, but every now and then I'll have on non-entertainment people,

and people actually enjoy those episodes the most, weirdly enough. They're just a straight shot of people who are killing it in whatever their field is. And it all comes down to how uh charming and funny the host is we're doing our best we're doing what we can it makes it a lot easier when you got a nice great lakes brewing burst with you if okay so i i was there today like i wanted to like i need to know because normally we have these this will be the fifth time we've had a tmlx event at great lakes but the first four times we're on the patio and now we're on the lawn so i'm like where's the stage where's the table with the pasta where do people get their beer because we're gonna have our own like uh

bartender kind of just for our event here and again your first beer no joke your first beer is on the house like if you came with zero0 and 0 cents in your pocket, you would still leave with a full belly full of like pasta and craft beer. Like this is no joke, everybody, but you have to be an FOTM, which you are, which means you're a listener of the program or you're a guest on the program. Okay. So I'm there, I'm seeing everything, visualizing like how many seats do we have? What do we do if we have more people than seats? And then we're talking about like different things we can do. And I completely see it all. And I enjoyed a fresh burst on a beautiful,

like it was a beautiful, today's a beautiful day. Like we've had a great summer. That's quick. I'm all over the place, but did you notice how little rain we got this summer? Like, did you,

where did you, did you notice that? I did. And I feel like it's going to start raining the second I step out of this house now. Actually, it did look like it might rain, actually. Thanks for that. My sunroof is open right now. That's how cocky we are this summer.

La-di-da, you have a sunroof. Sunroof. Yeah, exactly. No side mirrors. My massive protege I drove for 21 years did not have a sunroof. There was no sunroof. Was it a five-speed? No.

No, automatic. But no sunroof. So, la-di-da okay um anyway so we're all set for tmlxx i'm super excited about it uh running through your bio we talked a lot about the star trek and the boys of course but what is uh children ruin everything oh yeah yeah children that's uh how come you didn't mention it are you embarrassed about it no i just forgot it there's a lot of stuff going on. Children Ruin Everything. Yeah, I did the pilot episode with some cool people out there.

It's a sitcom by the same writer as Schitt's Creek. And it's on CTV with Enies something. And these guys are like really established actors. This is a new show. This is a new show this is a new show season one from the guy the people who did Schitt's Creek

correct that's big yeah Schitt's Creek won like all the Emmy Awards no it's a big show they got a big production fund it's CTV's

airing this thing correct but they're not syndicating it like it's a CTV original it's a CTV original syndicate I mean they're on season one so they're far from that type of stuff maybe they're but I mean you know CTV original? It's a CTV original. Syndicate, I mean, they're on season one, so they're far from that type of stuff.

Maybe they're already... But I mean, you know, CTV will syndicate like an American show, like Big Bang Theory or whatever. Like so, but this is an actual... I think Children of War, everything's already in Hulu America. Okay.

Yeah. But that was fun, actually. That was a real cool cast. Anytime I do a comedic role, I'm happy. You know, a lot of these roles I do are kind of like more drama. How many lines did you have? Four.

Three, four. So I can stream this maybe from the CTV website or something. Where can I find this episode of Children Ruin Everything? Just give it a goog. Give it a good old goog, Mike. Which episode number is it?

I'm on the pilot. I'm on the first episode. The first episode. Yeah. That's going to be easy to find. Okay. I got to see some of Boss. Like now that I've met you in person, I-

You like what you see. I was going to make a bad joke about like you're safe, Black, but that was just- But not in that show. Just to cross promote the fact that you've got some great content people can pick up right now at abosswahab.com, right? That's correct, sir. Everything's on there. Now, anything- I'm so proud of myself.ab.com. Right? That's correct, sir. Everything's on there.

Now, anything, and I'm so proud of myself, women, women, say whim. Woman. Why did no one ever tell you? They don't teach you this in school. Like, visually, woman and women,

the first W-O-M is how they both start. So why is one whim and the other womb? Like, I don't understand English, and I was born here. The mysteries of the language. And by the way,

when did you, did you learn English from the Simpsons when you came here? Yeah, yeah. I really just knew yes, no when I came on on six. But yeah, I just sat in front of the TV

and watched Simpsons nonstop. Do you have a favorite episode? You know, you got to go with You Only Move Twice. Yeah. Hank Azaria, right? That's the Hank Scorpio. Yeah, of course. Oh, oh, the with You Only Move Twice. Yeah. Hank Azaria, right? That's the Hank Scorpio. Yeah, of course.

Oh, the Hammock District. Yeah. That's on third. Hammock Drive. Oh, the Hammock District. In fact, it's all in the Hammock District. That was improvised too. Oh, no way.

Yeah. This is a fun, this is a mind blow I always use. What's an example of a mind blow? So that character actor, that actor is not Hank Azaria. I know you meant Hank Scorpio, but. Oh, yeah. Did I say Azaria? You said Hank Azaria.

It's close. He's my favorite. We know. I know you meant Hank Scorpio. Oh, yeah. Did I say Azaria? You said Hank Scorpio. It's close. He's my favorite. We know what you mean because you mean Albert Brooks. Okay? That's Albert Brooks. Albert Brooks' brother is the actor who played Super Dave Osborne. He's passed away now. Bob Einstein.

That means Albert Brooks' real name, his birth name, is Albert Einstein. Oh, shit. Ba-ba-bam. Alright, Abbas, we're going to take a photo before you go and you really are going to get a lasagna. But is there anything like when you were driving here and you were thinking, oh, I want to make sure I shout this person out or I mention

this. I don't want you to be driving home and thinking, oh, I forgot to say this, that, the other. So, drain that swab here. What are all the things that you want to make sure you get on your Toronto Mike debut? Hey, you know, if you check out the self-produced special or if you listen to the album on any of the platforms. Safe Black. Safe Black, that's right.

Abbas Wahab, A-B-B-A-S-W-A-H-A-B. Come see me live if you ever see me around in any of the clubs that are around you. I'm doing a Canada-wide tour this fall. And, yeah, the podcast is on all platforms, the immigrant section, and that's pretty much it. Canada-wide, so are you going to Winnipeg? I'm going to go to Winnipeg. Because I just got word here that you're now banned from Winnipeg. Yeah, yeah.

This is even live. That's shocking. Yeah, they bugged the room the room i guess i don't know i think we forgot to hang up on amish and he heard that he made a call to the mayor of winnipeg that's the power of meditation you described the stab the stabbiness of winnipeg i wait my wife is from edmonton and i always joke about like it's deadminton because it's like the myrtle murder capital of this country it's great compared to win so edmonton is like the is par because it's like the murder capital of this country. Oh, Edmonton's great compared to Winnipeg. So Edmonton is Paris. It's the Paris of the prairies compared to Winnipeg, Manitoba.

That's right. I was just about to sign a deal, a lucrative sponsorship opportunity from the people behind Tourism Winnipeg, and you completely fucked that up. Okay, let's just say, maybe I saw the wrong side. There's good people out there. I say sign it, Mike. Sign that. Sign that damn deal.

And that brings us to the end of our 1,103rd show. I really hope I see your smiling, happy, handsome face at TMLXX. No pressure, but if I saw you there, I would be like, my heart would be warm to see you there. Abbas, we're now...

One more time, where is it going to be? Great Lakes Brewery. And they're on Twitter, at Great Lakes Beer. And it's their South Etobicoke location, which is 3030 Queen Elizabeth Boulevard. That's where you go. Just get there for 6 p.m. on Thursday. We're going to be there from 6 to 9. It's going to be great.

I've got some great musicians that are going to play. We have the Mind Blow competition. We have gifts. It's going to be a good time. Free food, free drink. What more do you want here? So remind us how you don't really tweet, but where do you want us to follow you? On your Instagram? You've got lots of followers there, I drink. What more do you want here? So remind us how we, you don't really tweet, but where do you want us to follow you? On your Instagram?

You've got lots of followers there, I noticed. Yeah, just follow me. All the tour stuff will be public there in the coming weeks. Abbas Wahab, one more time, A-B-B-A-S-W-A-H-A-B. Or check out my website. I'll have a little piece of artwork for that as well. Woo!

Palma Pasta's at Palma Pasta. Sticker U is at Sticker U. Sticker U is going to have some stickers at TMLXX for everybody. Electronic Products Recycling Association are at EPRA underscore Canada.

Ridley Funeral Home are at Ridley FH. And Canna Cabana are at Canna Cabana underscore see you all tomorrow when my special guest is Rob Pruce kicking out the jams. doesn't realize there's a thousand shades of gray. Cause I know that's true. Yes,

I do. I know it's true. Yeah. I know it's true. How about you? I'm picking up trash and then putting down roads. And they're broken stocks. The class struggle explodes

And I'll play this guitar just the best that I can Maybe I'm not and maybe I am But who gives a damn because Everything is coming up rosy and green Yeah, the wind is cold but the smell of snow Everything is coming up rosy and gray. Yeah, the wind is cold, but the smell of snow warms me today. And your smile is fine, and it's just like mine, and it won't go away. Because everything is rosy and gray.

Well, I've kissed you in France, and I've kissed you in France and I've kissed you in Spain. And I've kissed you in places I better not name. And I've seen the sun go down on Chaclacour. But I like it much better going down on you Yeah, you know that's true Because everything is coming up Rosy and green Yeah, the wind is cold But the smell of snow Warms us today

And your smile is fine And it's just like mine And it won't go away Because everything is rosy now. Everything is rosy and everything is rosy and gray. Thank you.