Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Bif Naked: Toronto Mike'd #331

Episode Date: May 1, 2018

Mike chats with rock goddess Bif Naked about EVERYTHING.

I totally get it. It must be fun doing a podcast. Welcome to episode 331 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything. Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, a fiercely independent craft brewery located here in Etobicoke. Did you know that 99.99% of all Great Lakes beer remains here in Ontario? GLB. Brewed for you, Ontario. And Propertyinthe6.com. Toronto real estate done right. And Paytm, an app designed to manage all of your bills in one spot.

Download the app today from paytm.ca. And our newest sponsor, Camp Tournesol, the leading French summer camp provider in Ontario. I'm Mike from torontomike.com and joining me is international

recording artist, activist, and author, Biff Naked. Wow. Wow. I think I cut it short there. and author Biff Naked. Wow. Wow. Wow. I think I cut it short there.

There's more attributes I could have assigned to you on that intro. You're a fascinating person. As are you, my friend, in a fascinating city. No, you're too kind. Yes, I have so much time.

So I just learned, just before we press record, I learned I don't have seven hours with you to record. I thought this was going to be a seven-hour episode. Well, no. But you don't have that kind of time. The good news is that I actually live about 24 blocks away. So you will, let's say this now.

I can come back. Because I'm recording this. So if you say this, I can just cut out the excerpt and play it for the world. That Biff Naked, you will come back because there's so much ground to cover. I can't do it all in like an hour and 20 minutes absolutely 100 so you're you're living in mimico now yes so when did you because you're a van you were in vancouver for 30 years for 30 that's a whole adult life like that's every minute of my adult life so why tell me that's the big question this is toronto mic listeners, although with you, I think it'll be Canada-wide, but worldwide.

But tell me why the move to Mimico. Well, you know, I got married to Snake. Everyone knows Snake? I have a song I can play later. Oh, good. With you and Snake. Oh, very good. And it's not Snake from Degrassi.

Right. I need to clarify. That's right. Or from the other bands that have snakes in them. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, we had gotten married in 2016. And he had an apartment. Thank you.

He had an apartment. I had an apartment. And we both wanted to sell our apartments and get something collectively because that's the adult thing to do. And I was back and forth between Vancouvercouver and paris where my manager uh was living uh with his wife who's my friend and their three daughters and it just they moved to oakville and then we started going to oakville and then we were living in their basement in oakville like trolls you know people were following me around in the 14-0s, you know, like I was a shoplifter.

And we started looking at different options and it just made the most sense. It was 30% cheaper to buy here. The Blue Jays are here. Drake is here. Drake is here. Our friends are here. Our Vancouver friends have moved here. They all moved to Liberty Village, however.

That's right by BMO Fields, so they're probably TFC fans. They are, and they do go to a lot of games. But for us, it just made sense. We really liked Etobicoke. We liked Long Branch, Miracle. We love it. We love the Humber Bay. And you like to be by the lake, right?

Love it. Okay. So, I mean, you're here, and this is actually not Mimico, though, because once you hit First Street, you're actually in New Toronto. So this is actually so New Toronto. That's referenced in a Drake song. Is it? Yes, it is.

That's my new theme song. We were like, wow. Well, he says it once. He says it once. Oh, Drake. You know, he's just. That's how we learned about New Toronto. Oh, no, that's fantastic.

And I just was playing a little bit of Mr. Rogers. So now that we're neighbors, you know, we can hang out. We can have barbecues together. We can go biking together. You can be anytime you have something you want to get off your chest.

You can come on over to the studio here and record. I love it. I love I love the fact Biff Naked is here because I got to say, I've been a huge fan for a very, very long time.

I think you're truly a rock goddess god bless you god bless you yes everyone bless me for sure uh and i just yeah i so i played won't you be my neighbor oh that's nice that's very nice and welcome to toronto thank you we love it we love the ice storm we loved it all we love it we're into it do you love the midges like you're by the lake which means you know the the little bugs you're seeing right now? They only showed up four days ago. They come every year. Yes.

I'm a midge expert. Oh, I see. We were curious about that. They're all over my car when I go along the Queensway. I am the queen of Queensway because I don't like the fast drivers on the expressway, by the way.

I hear you. Lakeshore is a good option. Like just taking Lakeshore. It can be. It can be. We're dealing with it. You know, i have a hatchback i like my little car my husband has a jeep we haven't driven it since february because

i prefer to be the driver i can do like you know i can slam on my brake you're in control spins yeah we like to be in control we love it i'm a hall monitor type of driver i i comment on all the uh the speeding drivers i understand that the speed limits were changed because of the last election. Is that right? See, I'm a Toronto guy. I didn't even know that. Well, I complain a lot about the other drivers. I've got to be honest with you, and I think that I should actually apply for the regional police forces

as a snitch on the highway. They have a program. They do. I thought you were going to become a police officer. I was going to tell you, you're very close to the Toronto Police Academy. Oh, see, I should sign up. Like, honestly, I think that that would be great. If nothing else, it would make a great reality show. I think Biff Naked, you'd be amazing.

I think you'd be amazing. I would totally want to be caught speeding by Biff Naked. I don't like speeders. No. By the way, I have to say hello from somebody and I'm wearing the acid test t-shirt. Oh, fun. Because I was at the acid test reunited and played a show Saturday night.

Lucy DeSanto says hi. Oh, that's amazing. Wow. That's like, wow, like we're talking 25 years. Because she was here. She was here last week with Steve Fall. Amazing. And I just mentioned just in passing, you know, Biff Naked's here next week. And she's like, say hi for me. Amazing. And I just mentioned just in passing, Biff Naked's here next week

and she's like, say hi for me. Amazing. Yeah. No, they were so kind to me. Yeah. What a treat. What a treat.

No, very nice people. I got to say, nicest people. So I'm wearing their T-shirt for our picture. Before you jet off, make sure we get a photo together. Fantastic.

Yes. Bob Whitten on Twitter wants to know if you have any any tattoo regret he says he's got some bad ones and ones that he picked from a bad tattoo shop when he was 15 years old so do you have because you you have a lot of ink i don't know i got like 75 tattoos i'm a million years old a million years well you're you know you're exactly one year older than me so i'm a million minus one well you know I love I was

getting tattoos when I was a young person I think as a an armor because I didn't want anyone to talk to me or I wanted to be left alone or I was intimidated whatever the case was my anxiety you know it made me feel quite invincible uh back in the early 90s and then it became quite fashionable and now it just if you don't have a tattoo on your face, you're actually not cool. So now that I'm older, I'm afraid to get a tattoo on my face, actually. Unless I kill somebody, then I get the tear. But I'm not going to do that because it's against the law. But I like tattoos.

I have a lot of regrettable ink, but I don't regret any of them. Okay, so if you had a time machine, would you change any ink decisions, any tattoo decisions? Would you take a pass on one or two or three or four if I gave you a time machine right now? Well, let me just exploit because I have a lot to say.

Oh, I want to hear it. So I like getting married. You know, I love weddings. I love my own weddings even better. And as an eternal optimist, I have walked down the aisle several times. Give me a number. How many times have you been legally married?

So legally married, three. Okay, I mean, I've been legally married twice. Okay, see, right? That's not that many. No, we're good. And Snake is my final husband. He's the one. He is the one.

And you know, I've been in love a lot in my life. I'm very lucky that way. But when that young man walked through the door of my rehearsal space, literally the angels sang. Now, when you, your boyfriend, sorry, your boyfriend, your husband's name is Snake,

so I envision, but is he a big guy, like a big intimidating guy? You can't be named Snake unless you're like an intimidating guy. Am I right? Do you know who the champ is? Well, which one? The champ. Yeah, that guy. Okay, so that's how he sounds. He has a very bare-toed voice.

And I, you know, I'll tell him, oh, you're so cute. I just love being with you. And he'll. And I, you know, I'll tell him, oh, you're so cute. I just love being with you. And he'll go, pipe down, you know. And that's his response to I love you, usually. And I hit him in the solar plexus. Or shove it is another favorite saying. But, you know, so anyway, with the weddings and the loves,

I tend to get names. I get boys' names tattooed just all over me. And I've had to really rethink that. I could rethink that. Remember Johnny Depp put Winona. Yes. He changed it to Wino. Hilarious, which is actually quite funny.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, there's nothing wrong. I mean, love is a great thing. We'll talk later a bit about some of the marriages. But I got to say, I read your bio and I know you have a book, Ibificus. Yes. And it's all in there. I consider you probably the most interesting person in the world.

God bless you. I should really be sending you a check. No, come on. Yeah. Send it to New Toronto. You can walk it over. I could. Okay, I won't read the whole thing, but maybe I will. Let me read this. Can I read this? Okay.

Certainly. Biff Naked was born in secret to a teenager living in India, the product of a Canadian girl and a British boy. She was rejected by both families, hidden away in a mental hospital from her diplomat grandparents' society

and political friends. Adopted by American missionaries and after years of legal hurdles, eventually gaining her and her adopted sisters release from India, they returned to North America. She embarked on what she recalls with humor as a charmed life, a childhood of secret abuse, running away, targeted beatings by girl gangs. She was institutionalized for alcohol abuse as a teenager and sexually targeted, preyed upon by a long list of adult predators.

She escaped this early life by joining a punk rock band and left on tour. She married the drummer, became pregnant, and under extreme duress, she aborted the unborn child and later the marriage and continued on a deadly downward spiral, which culminated when she hit the floor of a Vancouver drug den, overdosed all of this before her 21st birthday. You know, the Catholics hate me. I'm just like,

wow. Wow. See that there. We could do an episode. We could honestly do an episode before about your life before you turn 21. And then I could do an episode of your rock years and then your you know I could so there's so much here I don't even know how you can do it justice in the time frame we have but tell me a little bit about your childhood my childhood was serendipitous my childhood really was serendipitous i was a

i always i'm an advocate for adoption i was an adopted kid always happy a clown loved it always knew i was adopted and i was the only canadian in my family because i always held a canadian passport little did i know i would have trouble getting my citizenship eventually which i'm still having trouble getting. But anyway, that's another. So you're not a Canadian citizen? Well, no. What the government did, and if you're listening to me, government. They are.

You know, I think you should come to my house and help me go through my paperwork. There was these things called the Canadian Birth Abroad Cards that we all got for being born somewhere else. Right. And apparently those became like garbage in 2012 or something. And so for those of us who may or may not have changed our names a million

times through marriage or punk rock or whatever, the witness protection, who knows. It's hard to find the trail. So it's really hard for me to prove my citizenship other than my 10 passports they can't just go to your wikipedia page no apparently they can't it

doesn't work you know my certificates are in hindi and they're like you know they're skeptics but anyway um my childhood was really wonderful i have an older sister and a younger sister i'm the middle kid, typical clown. I gave my parents the raspberries. I was a runaway, you know, not by anything they did, but just because I wanted to be a comedian and figured I needed to go where the comedians lived in Toronto. We hitchhiked from Winnipeg, where I went to high school. And that chapter in my book is, I tend to, when we do book readings,

I tend to read that chapter because there's a cab driver in Toronto who saved my life when I was 16 years old. And he took a chance on two kids, who was me and my best friend, in the backseat of the car. At the time, they didn't call it human trafficking. At the time, in our generation, they called it other things. But we were targeted by these guys because we were vulnerable runaways. Of course, my friend told them we were runaways. You know, we had fake names, you know, trying to be, you know, really cool.

Anyway, and this cab driver saved our lives. I dedicated my first record to him. His name is Norman Davis, if you know him. And, you know, it's just, my first experience in Toronto was eating meatball sandwiches in the back of his cab while he gave us a tour showing us all of the buildings that were blown up by the mafia families.

Wow. According to him. I want that tour, by the way. I want that tour. Yeah, according to this guy. And so we were, like, absolutely overjoyed. It was actually the combination of the Toronto Police Department and the employees at the Greyhound bus station in Toronto

that took up a collection to pay for our bus tickets home to Winnipeg so that we wouldn't miss our high school graduations. Wow. Yeah. But anyway, I'm so long. I love those stories because we hear about all the awful people. Yeah. And sometimes you need to realize there's so many good citizens out there

who will do what these gentlemen did. Oh, certainly. And I can even look back at the guys who targeted us, and I know that those two individuals, they were teenagers themselves. They probably had traumatic childhood histories, all these things that went on for them. Everybody's got a story. There's a root to every story.

But besides that and a few other misadventures, my childhood was incredibly amazing. It was very positive. Now there's a song. We're going to go through some of your music soon. And one of the songs, one of my favorite songs is Choti. Oh, very nice. And that essentially is kind of the story that I just read.

The end part there is in that, like, it's all right there. I was just at a high school in my first band. I married my drummer. That's right. Like, it's all there. So we'll talk more about that, I think, when I play Choti. Is that cool? No problem.

Since it's so autobiographical. Wonderful. Biographical. Now, I have a question. I hope this isn't offensive because I know you're what's called straight edge. Are you still straight edge? Well, straight edge, at the time that I decided to be a straight edge, it was because I was copying my friends.

So my friends, Gail Greenwood from Belly, their record's coming out May 4th, by the way, everyone. Love Belly. She was the first straight edge girl I'd ever met in my life. And Chai Pig was a singer for SNFU. He was a real mentor of mine. And at that time in his life, he identified as straight edge, meaning he didn't drink or do drugs.

Henry Rollins was a straight edge, but he drank coffee. So I thought it was okay to drink coffee. And for me, I had done a lot of alcohol drinking as a proud Canadian teenager, of course. Of course. And then, you know, had a flirtation with drug use. And when I was in my early 20s and in a band and, you know, I just needed to do something that would make me stay professional. And I really believed that alcohol, for me, didn't work. Is it because you couldn't do it in moderation?

Like you had a tendency to abuse? No, I just talked too much. I would lose my voice. You would lose your filter. I would lose my voice on tour. I couldn't, you know, just, yeah, and I would wake up in strange places. You know, I just thought as a young female in the punk scene, playing in bands, I needed to keep my wits about me.

And I just thought it would be more professional if I didn't drink. So if I were to give you a six pack of beer right now, is that like the worst thing I could do? Is that a terrible thing? Like if I were to say that you could take that home with you, is that a bad thing? My band is coming here from Vancouver and then they'll stay in my fridge. And then when they come, they can have this.

Good. This is good. Now that you're a Mimico gal, you should know, Southern Toronto's best craft brewery, well, the city's best craft brewery, but Southern Toronto's best craft brewery is Great Lakes Brewery, which is like Queensway in rural York.

I see. You can dip, there's a place. Yes, you've seen it. You can see it, like there's a Costco kind of right beside it. You can see it from the highway. Not that you're on the highway, of course, but the six pack is yours to take home for your band.

Please enjoy. Very kind. Thank you. The Great Lakes beer, courtesy of them. But there's also more. So your band will want to pour that beer into a pint glass. So do you see the pint glass right there? I do.

It says The Six. Propertyinthesix.com. Wow. That's courtesy of Brian Gerstein. And Brian actually recorded a message for you. Oh, so let's hear from Brian. Hi,

Biff, Brian Gerstein here, sales representative with PSR brokerage and proud sponsor of Toronto Mike. I don't usually get political, but this is about my concern for our environment. Doug Ford has assured developers that he will open a big chunk of the Greenbelt, a protected greater Toronto and Hamilton area farmland. He wants to build housing if he wins the election, which is something I am completely against. Farmland and green space will

disappear forever, food prices will rise, traffic will get worse, and housing will not be more My rant is over. Now you can call me at 416-873-0292 for any real estate needs you have. Biff, while you were in Winnipeg, did you become a Jets fan and follow the exploits of Dale Harachuk and Taimou Salani? If so, are you excited that they now have a team that can win the Stanley Cup? That was a question for me. Of course! Are you kidding?

Of course! You lived 30, did you say 30 years in Vancouver? In Vancouver. But you could have been converted to Canucks fan and left behind any kind of allegiance to the Jets. Well, it's funny. The thing about it is we had hockey pools when we were in a young band.

And my mother-in-law is visiting my husband and I here because she hasn't seen us since we defected. Yeah, Snake's mom. She came on my honeymoon, by the way. Yeah, to Paris. Long story. But anyway, so she's visiting and she wanted to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame. So the Hockey Hall of Fame in downtown Toronto is a place that I've been going to since probably

94 or so. And being a hockey fan, my favorite player, because that's how I really viewed hockey. It was all about players. I didn't really care about the team so much. And that goes for Vancouver, too. It goes for everybody. Mary Lemieux was my favorite player of all time.

This individual so loved the team that he saved the team. Well, they owed him a lot of money. Well, besides that. He had a motive, though. You know, I know, but I'm going to romanticize it. And Crosby, in his rookie Well, they owed him a lot of money. Well, besides that. He had a motive, though. You know, I know, but I'm going to romanticize it. And Crosby, in his rookie year, lived with him.

Amazing. And they played together that one year. People forget they actually played together. Yeah, amazing. And, you know, when I first moved to Vancouver,

Messier was involved. And then there was a riot, you know, where they had rubber bullets just like Ireland. And so all us punks, you know, we had lots to say about that. But hockey is figured very prominently in my life as a Canadian and as a fan. So I like players more than I am having allegiances to teams.

No, I hear you. I hear you. But are you hoping the Jets win the Stanley Cup? Well, I think it would be really nice. I think it would be very nice, wouldn't it? I'm rooting for Pittsburgh. Well, you know, again, you know. But I didn't have my formative years in Winnipeg.

Lemieux is a lovely, lovely athlete. But certainly, I think, you know, the Jets know how I feel. That's amazing. Now, a slice of real talk here quickly, if you don't mind, because you've been very public about this. You keep marrying men, but are you bisexual?

I'm everything. Just like I... Trisexual, you'll try anything. Yeah, sure. But you know, in the last several years, I've been in a lot of monogamous relationships and they've been with men. of monogamous relationships and they've been with men

and that's my reality and I love my husband and I keep I always tell him if he was a woman I would still be in love with him and I think that's the reality of my relationship with Snake It sounds like it's fluid like you love the person

the genitalia it's almost inconsequential because you love the person uh the genitalia it's it's it's almost uh inconsequential because you love the person absolutely yeah absolutely i'm learning so much here yeah it's yes you nailed it i nailed it pardon the you know why though i had a guest on uh you might have heard of her her name is avery haynes her sister is in metric emily oh i see yes so avery she's a journalist she's very good and she came over and she came over and she's married to a woman now, but she was married to a man for many, many years. And I made the mistake of asking if she was like, did she realize she was a lesbian or

something to that effect? I see. I see. And I got educated on fluidity. Yes. And then ever since then, now I understand it better now. It's not a one or other necessarily. It's a fluid.

I totally see it now. Yeah, yeah. I think that's true probably for a lot of people, and they don't realize it. Right. And see, now what I also learned is I don't know everything. I'm still learning, even as an old man with this white hair. Look, I'm learning.

So thank you. It happens. Do you speak French by any chance? Je parle un petit peu français, mais ma française n'est pas bonne. Oh my God. That was French, right? I know. I heard some French in there.

Who else said recently? Lucy from Acid Test gave me, she said a sentence in French and I told her what she said because I understand grade nine French and I was able to understand. And she was impressed. Wow. And I felt really proud. Very nice. I impressed her.

I bring up French because Camp Tournesol are sponsors of this program, and they have the largest French camps in Ontario. And if your child is between the ages of 4 and 14, they have a French camp for you. Again, it doesn't matter if your child is Francophone or in French immersion or has no French experience. There's a day camp or overnight experience for you. Again, it doesn't matter if your child is francophone or in French immersion or has no French experience. There's a day camp or overnight experience for them. So go to campt.ca

and check out what they have to offer in regards to French camps. Your kid will come back from these camps with such a appreciation and love and improvement in their French skills. To me, it's a no-brainer. Send your kids to French camp. Am I right?

Exactly. See, I'm good at this now. And use the promo code Mike, just M-I-K-E, and you get $20 off your first order. So go to camptea.ca. Have you ever met Nana Muscuri by any chance? No, but I'm a fan. She's still touring at 83 years old.

I'm not surprised. I'm actually not surprised. And she hasn't changed her glasses in all those years. She's still got those great glasses. They're kind of like her trademark. I'm in the market for glasses. I can't decide what style to go with. Ah, there's so many.

It gets expensive. And that's the thing is I have a coverage right now. I can't remember what it's maxed at, 200 bucks or something. But it's disappearing this summer. Yeah. So I got to do it now. That's right.

Get my stuff now. That's right. Biff Naked. I know the origin of the name Biff. So share with us and for those who don't know, why, because your birth certificate, if you have one in Hindi, is that where it's from? Originally, yes. It doesn't say Biff naked on it. No, and it doesn't say my name that my parents gave me either. It's a bit of a mystery. I had

no name. So I could have sued the Baby G watch line because that's basically all my certificate said. Baby G? Yeah. Hmm, that's interesting. Baby G, you could have kept that. That would work as well. Who knew? Who knew?

I could have been like a sucker MC. Yeah. Shock G was in Digital Underground, if I remember. Yes, yes, yes. There's a lot of popular Gs in the hip-hop community. All the OG's oh yeah Ice-T that's right

love Ice-T by the way same I love Power the Power record was like life changing yeah you're absolutely right

because we're only the one year apart so we can have absolutely right and then I got I picked up I think it was called Original Gangster which had the New Jack City

and Original Gangster and it I still on the daily will drop rhymes from that album. Amazing, because we memorize it. And he had a really short bit on Nelson Mandela. And I would just break into it. And my now 16-year-old who loves rap, in fact, that's all he listens to, actually.

I can't get him to listen to all my CanCon 90s rock. I try to push on him. Right. But he knows all the rhymes. I would drop. Amazing. It's amazing. It just triggers.

It's great. Okay, one more here. I can't forget my good friend. So one last sponsor mention, and then we're going to dive in while I still have you. Oh, my goodness. I need more time. That's okay. We're going to do it. This is Paytm Canada. Paytm Canada is the only app that gives

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use the promo code Toronto Mike, one word, Toronto Mike, and they give you $10. Look, I'm choking up. This is such a great deal. Oh, I love to give away money. I'm like Oprah, the Oprah podcasting.

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You just get money and you get points and a lot of fun. So paytm.ca. Use the referral, the promo code, Toronto Mike. All right, Biff. Where do I begin with you? Where do I begin with you? Yes. This is cool.

Do you do like mobile reports from places too? I've never done that yet. Oh, everyone has to come to my basement so far i understand but i do need to go mobile but right now everything's set up so like it's this is not a mobile like i can't if i pack it up and move it and i get it back here it'll never be the same like i'm afraid to move this stuff because of how it's all you wouldn't have to move this stuff yes then i would i would definitely go mobile for the right uh the right conversation yes that's definitely something i would i would definitely go mobile for the right uh reasons right conversation

yes that's definitely something i would do yeah absolutely you're amazing thank you yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna take that and that'll be my new when i'm trying to get the big guests to come on i'm gonna play biff naked that's right absolutely so i want to get you to your solo career and i want to play the first uh biff naked jam i ever love. But first, tell us, before your solo career, you played with punk bands? Well, you know, funk, punk, right? We were basically in love with equal parts, the Jungle Brothers and DOA and a lot of skate punk bands. So the band I joined was called Gorilla Gorilla in Winnipeg.

And then after that, I joined a band in Vancouver called Chrome Dog. Chrome Dog. For a while, I was playing in both bands, but it was like having two boyfriends, and it just didn't work. Yeah, that's funny. And you are always the singer. It's all I know how to do.

And you're very good at it, though. God bless. Even talking to you now, I'm going to say this. We've been talking now for about a half an hour. You've got a great delivery. There should be... I mean, we'll get into this later, but the fact you... I can't... talking to you now. I'm going to say this. We've been talking now for about a half an hour. You've got a great delivery. We'll get into this later, but the fact there's nowhere I can subscribe to or tune in to hear you on the regular

is a crime against humanity. You sound great. Very nice. Well, that's good. Maybe we can fix that. I'm trying to do an audio book. Well, then I can just play that on repeat. Maybe that'll work. I don't know. You were credited in the film Archangel. You were a Russian soldier and you were credited as Biff Torbert. Right. That's my father's name.

So your real name is Beth Torbert. Correct. And Biff to Beth, I get that. And then Naked just sounded cool. No, Naked was actually my punk rock stage name. You know, I had in our little town, in our little mines, all these guys had great names. You know, DOA had Joey Shithead. Tri-Pig was SNFU. Mudhoney had Mark Arm. Everybody had these names. And so, and I was

the only girl, but most people thought Biff was a guy's name or thought it was from Back to the Future. Right. And so, the only way that Gorilla Gorilla really thought they could get people to our inaugural show with me as a singer instead of their guy singer, who they had before me,

they said, come see Biff naked for the Valentine's show or whatever it was. And it was on the poster. And of course, I had clothes on. It was the big bait and switch. And a lot of people were disappointed, I bet. Bait and switch. Well, I was young.

Oh, too young. Young and in a bikini. But it was a bait and switch and the name stuck and it kind of worked. And then I was basically stuck with this stage name for the last 30 years.

It does work. So this is the first Biff Naked song I ever heard because I listened to Edge 102, which I believe is supposed to be called 102.1 The Edge, but I always call it Edge 102. CFNY, of course. And I listened to it throughout the 90s, like the whole decade of the 90s, which was a big deal to me. I listened to that station. And they played a lot of you.

Amazing. Yes, they did. And this was the first song I heard from you. Daddy's Getting Married And this is from your first Your first album Which was self-titled, right? Biff Naked? That's right, because they wouldn't let me call it Satan's Girlfriend

That's a great title too Tell me, who wrote this song? My producer and myself His name is John Dexter And I did my first record with John. I've written with John since then, too. During this chat about Dad Is Gay Married,

when it gets to that kick-ass part, I'm going to turn it up if that's okay. To 11 if that's okay. Don't want to talk about it Don't ask what the matter is Today's the big day Daddy's getting married I'm awake, the tears are wet My daddy's getting married I don't know what to say

It's a great hook. I'm telling you, this is a great rock song. Thank you. I'm so glad. Now, this is not me now. Liam Dixon, I have to give credit to him.

He thinks, he says he wants to know if you know that this song sounds a lot like the Smashing Pumpkins today. Of course, I've heard that a lot over the years. Is there any inspiration there? I don't know. You know, John wrote it on piano and then I wrote the words to John's song on piano

and then in production you know this is what it became a lot of the songs that we've always written are on piano with vocal or acoustic guitar with vocal

so everything else is an afterthought it's funny because I love Today too I love that Smashing Pumpkins album and I love Today but I also love

Daddy's Getting Married but I never actually had that moment where I thought they were too similar. Like they're just both great jams. I think there's a lot of songs like that, but I have heard that over the years, of course. Is there anything autobiographical here? Oh yeah, my dad got married. And unfortunately, I had to sing it to my father and his wife every single time I played in Saskatoon because they always came and brought 30 or 40 of my father's dental hygiene students.

Oh, that's great. Oh, yeah. That's cool, though. Hey, okay, students, we're going to the Biff Naked Show. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's my daughter. Yeah, exactly. going to the Biff Naked show. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's my daughter. Yeah, exactly.

So when I got married the second time, my best man was my son. And my daughter was the flower girl or bridesmaid. I don't know what she was. Something, something. And this song was in my head. Oh, wow. Yeah, because people can relate to it. Absolutely. So that was released in 1996, Biff Naked. And, oh man, I got lots of questions about this jam. So the next album, this is Ibificus. Fair to say this is your biggest selling album, Ibificus? I think most widely known album. Okay.

What's the biggest selling album? I was lucky to have stuff released everywhere. Depends on what country. I think that this one probably in North America and Canada was big. But after this was Purge, which was pretty popular. Now, Spaceman, I found it. There's multiple versions, right? right because you have uh the rock version yep and remind me who's who was behind the uh dance version i think it was a couple of guys

called the boom tang boys that's them yeah boom boom tang love it love it and this was uh i would say this is a more poppier, more mainstream song. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Tell me, can you tell me a little bit about, you know, writing Spaceman and how the dance version comes to be? So Spaceman was written on acoustic guitar with a vocal. It sounded like a Patsy Cline song when we first wrote it. And Glenn Rosenstein was the producer. At the time we made this record,

originally it was for a company called Sony 550 out of New York, which was Celine Dion's company. Never heard of her. Well, she was signed to it, so I was like, yeah, let's do it. And Glenn Rosenstein was the producer, and he made it this really wonderful, happy, slick version. And it was the number one recurrent indie single,

I think, in about four countries at that time. So it really helped my career a lot. I got to tour a lot of different places in the world really due to this song and its success. And so when they made the dance version, were you involved at all or did they just take the source material

and do their thing? Yeah, it's like any DJ that does a remix. I love remixes. All DJs at any time want to use my songs. Yay! Go for it!

That's not very punk of you. Or maybe it is. Maybe it's so not punk of you, it is punk. I don't know. It comes around, I think. I think anybody would like to have

anyone else uh you know interpret their song for sure why not you're right john roscoe on twitter uh says uh would love to know if biff would go retro and release a power rock version of spaceman i love that song so john and many of us uh love spaceman. Because it was a rock song that became a dance song, and he wants it to become a power rock song again. I don't know. Well, he can see that power rock song live when we play in St. Catharines and when we play at Cosmo Fest in Richmond Hill. And we perform that song live all the time.

We're playing in Waterloo. Okay. Yeah, I'll give you those dates before we go. song live all the time. We're playing in Waterloo. Okay. I'll give you those dates before you go. Well, even right now. So it's biffnaked.com, right? And people go there and they can find out. Or on my Facebook page. But you're not going to play a Mimico show for us? I don't even know where you'd play. We're doing a national

tour in the fall and we'll probably do a Toronto date in the fall. Last year and the year before before we did two acoustic shows here and a book tour and both of those were at the Adelaide Hall. Cool. Freaking cool. Alright, here's the song I wanted this is when I read the bio it closed

with some information about you marrying your drummer and we'll talk about this is Choti Choti. Tell us who Choti is. Choti is actually a Hindi word that means little or small. So it's a term of endearment, I guess, or a nickname that fathers often call daughters. Or in my case, my first husband called me Choti. So it was like saying goodbye to Choti was like, truly it was like saying goodbye to the relationship.

And the verse lyrics go through the whole story of the relationship. And you were just too young? Is that what? Yeah, you know, we got married at like 18. And I have to give credit to my mother who didn't bat an eye when I came home and told her I was needing a wedding right away. And, you know, with he and I, it lasted about six months, probably, but still counted. No, it counts. It definitely counts. Now, though.

OK, so now I need to bring up and I hope you're comfortable chatting a little bit about this. But you talk about aborting. I guess you had a child with this drummer? I was pregnant. You were pregnant. Yeah, we got pregnant. And you aborted the unborn child. And do you think back on that?

Of course. I mean, any woman who's had to be faced with that decision, definitely will always think about it, regardless of which way she chooses. I think that at that time in my life, I was 18 years old and quite a drunken punk rock girl for most days of the week, along with my colleagues, and it just didn't work. It wasn't our timing, and and yeah it wasn't meant to be

luckily I live in a country where I had the option and had the choice but no that's a great point which of course you should have that choice I get pissed off when I hear about parts of the world or even once in a while you'll hear

in some conservative circle they'll even bring it up and I'm like move on we're not talking about this anymore that's right well I mean of course one would hope right right right and while we're still on Ibificus here there's another I mean that thing's hit laden

hit laden album Ibificus it is it's the facts not even subjective I'd say. Like this song, what a great song this one is here. We'll slow it down a little bit here. This is like the ballad,

if you will. It was a Monday when my lover told me Never pay the reaper with love only What could I say to you except I love you And I'd give my life for yours I know we are we are the lucky ones

I know we are we are the lucky ones I know we are we are you know the diversity

on this album especially if you count the the dance remix of of Spaceman then what you have is you have a song

like Choti which is like a great rocker have is you have a song like Choti, which is like a great rocker. And then you got a dance song for the clubs here in Spaceman, which everybody loves. And then this song is just like a beautiful, a beautiful song. Thank you. You're all over the place.

And this song was supposed to be on my first record and didn't make the cut. And timing wise? Nobody liked it. Really? So I resubmitted it for my second record. How does, did it sound awfully different than this? No, not at all. I think that, you know, the grown-ups

really wanted a certain image I guess and this didn't fit in the image and, you know, I listen to it now and I listen back to all these early recordings and I go wow, man, there was no autotune back then. Like there was nothing like that. And you had to do a hundred takes and, uh, and it's fun. It's fun to listen to. And I also, my voice has changed because I'm older and my voice is lower. Some of the songs I listen to, I go, oh my God, I sang so high. It's so high.

I miss those pre-autotune days. Yeah, it's cool. You have to think about how remarkable it is. A lot of the Jackson 5 or any of these amazing recordings that we have. Led Zeppelin, anything. They just had to wing it. In a nutshell, what's Lucky about exactly? Lucky really is about being in love with someone so much

so that you would basically give your life for them. And I think every human being has either the capacity to feel that or has experienced that feeling where you love somebody so much that you would really give your life for them. You know who I should have on this show? The guy who ever made the decision not to put this on the first album because it wasn't good enough. That's the guy I want to have on this show? The guy who, whoever made the decision not to put this on the first album because it wasn't good enough. That's the guy I want to have on this show.

Well, I think every artist probably has a library of songs that never made the cut that are probably quite fabulous. And I bet you you're right. It's probably always because they're looking for a certain image and it doesn't fit the image. They just wanted you to probably be, like I said, rock goddess or whatever. Oh, definitely. And I still get that from fans. They just want you to be tough. They

want you to be how you are. And back then, you know, a lot of companies, they gave you room for 10 or 11 songs on a record and that was all you got. So we would write 40 songs for a record and only 10 are going to make the cut. Was there any blowback from your heavier rock punk fans about there being a dance version of Spaceman? Did you ever get like... No, you know, I was really lucky because

all the records were very eclectic. And that was a real deliberate choice. And I'm glad because we could do the metal tours in Germany and then we could come back to North America and do Lilith Fair. That's a good point. The diversity I spoke of.

This is a must-have on any Christmas mix. If you're putting together... I know it's... What is it now? May? It is May. May Day. Happy May Day.

So when you're putting together your Christmas playlist, do not forget, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Biff Naked. And this was done for MTV, right, back in 99? Oh, those were the days. What can you tell me about how this, like, total request live, right? We were asked to do it, and that's really how it happened. And it was, obviously you said yes, because this is good exposure for the band. MTV was huge.

Yeah, it was fun. Nice. Now, speaking of covers, yeah, I guess the cover, it's not your song, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. But Basement Dweller has a question about, you did a great cover of Metallica's Nothing Else Matters, and he wants to know how you decided upon covering Metallica's Nothing Else Matters,

and were there any of the other songs that were up for contention at the time? You know, we were, actually it was a suggestion from the record company to explore doing that song as a cover. And of course, once we got permission from the band, it was a great experience. I got to work with Dave Fortman, the producer. We got to go to New Orleans and do my vocals. I was extremely nervous. I don't think I slept for days, days and days, just because I wanted to. It was a bit challenging for me to

sing in a real falsetto and it was a very emotional song. So it was a great challenge. It was a wonderful experience. Love working with Fortman. At the time he was working with Mudhoney and I'm sorry Mudvayne and some other heavy bands that I was a fan of. So it was a thrill. It was just a thrill, and we loved performing it. Well, while we're on the cover section here, I've got to talk to you about another one here. So this is a big one with the wrestling fans. Here, let me bring down your mommy kissing Santa Claus here.

So this is Twisted Sisters' We're Not Gonna Take It. Amazing. Standard, absolutely. Let's hear you a bit here. And this was on the Ready to Rumble soundtrack. Unbelievable. Like, being able to do a video with those guys. Sting was in the video, the wrestler, of course. And David Arquette.

I mean, it's such a good experience. Dee Snider had a radio show out of Hartford. And at the time, I was razzing him. He interviewed me for the show and I was telling him how proud we were to do his song. And I got to raz him about the Hartford Whalers. You know, home of the Hartford Whalers. I just razzed him. It was so much fun.

And I've never had a bad experience doing a cover song. Ronald Mears had a, he, on Twitter, he said, I asked for questions for you and he said, mine is this, Mike. Biff, what's it like knowing that your cover version of Twisted Sisters, We're Not Gonna Take It

is forever associated with former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette? And I think he says that facetiously, but it's all good, right? I love it.

You know what? I love it. It was so much, it was just fun. It was just plain fun. Love it. Speaking of love here, there's a perfect segue there.

Speaking of love. Here we go. I'm not out of... Am I out of order? Maybe. Anyways, it doesn't matter if we mess up the order a little bit here.

This is... I love myself today. Not like yesterday. That's right. And this is from Purge. You mentioned Purge earlier. This came out in 2001, and this was a massive hit as well. in the atmosphere of life. Well, I sound like a philosopher,

but I'm a fool to suffer rocker because I let you in my heart that one last time. Now, in the chronological order, did I mess up here? Like, does a moment of weakness come before this? Yes, right? Yes, it does.

Yes, I did screw up there. That's okay. Oh, we got, Bim. That's okay. Oh, we got to start again. That's okay. They're all dear to my heart. And this might be self-explanatory, but you tell me. What's this song about? This song really is about, you know, empowering yourself

and telling yourself that you're worth, you know worth whatever it is you're trying to overcome. Like Stuart Smalley in The Mirror. Yes. It was fun doing this song. I did it with Desmond Child down in Florida. I'd never been to Florida before and he was amazing. It was just a great experience. I can't say enough good things about it.

At some point in this podcast, you're going to have to trash somebody. That's all too positive. Yeah, I'm not. That's for the stage. I transform into this other person. Oh, like Jekyll and Hyde. You have an alter ego.

That's right. I screwed up, of course. This is also from Ibificus, right? Yes, it is. So I'm counting here. I played, wait, one, two, four singles, four big singles that came off of Ibificus. Yeah, very lucky.

I've decided that's your biggest album yet, I think. It was just really a great time. You couldn't even be there to pick me up You're taking me for granted again I'm running out of time and you're out of luck Just a moment of weakness I should have examined my head Just a moment of weakness I never meant the word I said I'm sick with the fishing flu

And what's this song about? Well, this song, again, it was written on acoustic guitar and vocal. It was actually written as a ballad. And when we do the book tour, we perform it as a ballad. And it's just really about asking yourself why you're with someone who's treating you lousy. What's the answer? There's no answer. Because you're in love. They say love is blind, and this is part of what it means.

It means that your rationale goes out the window. So, I mean, some of them are legal marriages, three of them, and some of them may be less legal marriages or common law or something. Some are theoretical. But surely in your life you've had those relationships where you're with him because you love him and you know it's not good for you

maybe you stay too long is this something oh sure I think everybody has that experience you know it's difficult to break up with somebody

for a variety of reasons I like also I like songs that have that stop yeah stops are cool stops are fun

yeah I just well J.E. Onright from do you ever watch TSN you ever see sometimes so J.E. Yeah. Stops are cool. Stops are fun. Yeah. I just was, well, Jay Onright from, do you ever watch TSN? You ever see? Sometimes. So Jay and Dan have a popular show. Anyways, Jay's coming over Friday. Oh, very cool. We're going to play his 10 favorite songs of all time and talk about why he loves them.

Right. And he's got a Beastie Boys jam in there, which has that stop. And then I had this thought earlier. I was thinking, yeah, like songs that like songs that I call them the fake ends like they just go silent for a couple of seconds and it sounds like an eternity right

and then it kicks back in oh and you're overjoyed you're overjoyed yes and I'm overjoyed by this part here right here nice

nice job Bificus fun very fun nice job of course that was back to iBificus. Fun. Very fun. Nice job. Of course, that was back to I, Bificus, and then Purge comes out with I Love Myself Today. Can I talk to you about acting briefly here? Sure. So you show up in some interesting stuff.

Tell me, I see you were in the zombie horror film The House of the Dead. Yes. It's just a cameo, though, that wasn't... Yes, it was. What else? Because I have a list here, but it's better a cameo though that wasn't yes it was what else because i mean i have a list here but it's better to hear from you like uh where else would might we have seen your uh acting chops well i did a feature film called lunch with charles and uh that was probably the problem with doing that as my first real uh effort with acting i was a principal lead. It was a lot of lines, a lot of memorization,

and John Chrétien watched this film on an Air Canada flight somewhere, and I want you to know that my Malones Grandes were flashing across the screen at him. Now, it wasn't in a sexual way. I was running into a lake.

It was appropriate for the part. The context was not gratuitous. Well, it wasn't like some highly sexualized thing. And even if it was, should that have been my choice, it would have been okay. But anyway, the director, the production, everybody, the crew, everything was such a wonderful and nurturing introduction for me into the acting world that everything I did after that really paled in comparison.

And I didn't really like it. I didn't like all the time spent on the set. I had two little dogs and you know, it's not like I was like, you know, I'm not, I'm not like, you know, had like a staff I was like, you know, I'm not like, you know, had like a staff or anything. So ultimately being away from your dogs for 18 hours a day is not cool. So due to that, literally, I just stopped doing it. Which is also your right. Yes, exactly. They're all my right. I did another film after that where I played a drag king.

And that was very interesting. I got to do weapons training for that using firearms because I had to use them. Which will help you when you're a member of the police. Exactly. See, I'm already ahead of the game. Full circle. I could qualify. I know I could.

So you do acting here and there. I mean, you were in the Daria movie, right? Yes. Is it my voice? Just your voice. Okay. The dulcet tones. But you do some hosting stuff too, right? Yes. Is it my voice? It was my voice. Just your voice. Okay, okay. The dulcet tones. Gotcha, I gotcha. But you do some hosting stuff too, right?

Love it. So tell me, like, I know you, Zedd, for example. Zedd was an amazing show on CBC that was ahead of its time. It really was. It was just interesting. The format they had was very interactive. And at that time, there really wasn't a lot going on. Well, it's pre-YouTube, so you have to put yourself. yourself we had dan spearsman on the show and he was doing like digital videos

for the website i guess so he would tell me about that and he talked about how pre-youtube that was like zed he thought he thought of that as that could have been youtube he essentially it was amazing yeah it was a really good experience and uh and then after that doing bodog fight which at that time that uf UFC was just coming out. And Bodog Fight had a show where we would travel across the world and interview these mixed martial arts fighters. And it was amazing. I got to go to St. Petersburg. I got to be in a helicopter with Theodore.

I mean, it was just like the dream job. But, of course, I was on tour at the same same time so it was a bit hard to juggle it no i hear you i hear you yeah i mean ken shamrock is that the days we're talking about amazing yes and chael sonnen who was in costa rica with now i have to pretend i know who that is yeah chael sonnen amazing amazing now people who love their mma really love their mma that's a yes they do devoted fan yes it is and i mean uh you i, you perform on bills with a lot of big stars, but is there any act in particular that you're really proud that you shared a stage with them?

Like when you look back at your career? Oh, wow. So many. Billy Idol, maybe? I don't know. That was an amazing tour. I have so many stories from that tour. You have no idea.

I almost missed the show in London, Ontario, because I was at the MTV Awards in Miami the night before. And, you know, if I didn't missed the show in london ontario because i was at the mtv awards in miami the night before and uh you know if we if i didn't make the show we would have been kicked off the tour naturally and my flight was canceled out of miami and i missed my connection and it was like planes trains and automobiles but i made the show and i made the show it was uh amazing and i see like uh foo fighters you played with foo fighters and sarah mclaughlin a lot of uh you know I made the show. It was amazing. And I see like Foo Fighters. You played with Foo Fighters and Sarah McLachlan. A lot of, you know, Chrissy Hind.

That was amazing. I mean, and she remains a real hero and mentor to this day. I think, do you know Tara Sloan by any chance from Joy Drop? Yes, I do. She was just here. She's a broadcaster. Yeah, she's on Hometown Hockey on Sundays with Ron McLean. Amazing.

She got that gig because in Now Magazine, in the back pages, there was a band looking for a rock goddess. This was only a couple weeks ago or something. And I said, she said this, and this is before I knew you were actually living in the city. Like, I thought you were still a Vancouver person. Right. So you weren't even on my radar. Like, Vancouver people can't make this drive or whatever.

Right. And I said to her, and it's recorded, it's there. I said to her, I said, well, that's Biff naked. Like, you know, we already have a rock goddess. That's so funny. She says something like, oh, I love Biff or something like that. And then it's just funny to me that I learned later that you were like a mimico girl now, which is, that's like my mind has exploded.

I can't wait to, I can't wait to enjoy a barbecue with Snake. And the Rad Ride ride which is july 22nd everyone's gonna have their bmxs out on the lake shore that's radical the rad ride i like how it's called the rad ride that was my word we'll talk about it yeah we'll talk about it oh i hope you know you're picking up your mother-in-law i gotta get move on here so uh for sure we'll talk about it but uh also just videos because i did tweet this the other day i was watching uh silver by moist i love moist these 90s can con rock yes that's what i love of course you know the guys from rusty by any chance amazing they're coming on this show i may tell them i said hello lowest of the low have played this show very cool but i haven't had um who is it again

i haven't had moist david usher but I'm looking, I knew you were in this video so I'm like, I don't remember Biff in this video. Like, I saw the 100 times on MuchMusic and I'm watching again. I took the screen grab. You are in the video for Silver.

Yes, I am. And we got to, again, a fun experience. We got to fly down to Los Angeles and film this in the, I don't know,

I don't know what those are, the water basins or whatever. And the director, in the, I don't know the, I don't know what those are, the water basins or whatever. And, and the director, you know, I can't, in this day and age, you can't say anything about anybody, but I remember the director was, let me think, incredibly frustrated during the shoot day. And, and that was quite, it was very demonstrative. And I remember kind of cowering with the moist band guys, and we were just like incredulous at this American fellow and how demonstrative he was. It's definitely not the Canadian way.

I like how you prettied it up with a big word. It was incredible. Burned in my memory. Burned in my memory. Demonstrative. Interesting. And then the offsprings, the kids aren't all right. I remember that, Jam.

The offspring are great. Dexter Holland, you're in that video too? I don't think I'm in that video. No? Why are you getting credit? Someone else said I was in that video. You know why? You know why?

I think it's on your Wikipedia page. Somewhere in your bio. Who edits those? I've read that Wikipedia page before. And I don't understand who edits those. Because there's a lot of misinformation. But they were right about Moist. And that's what matters.

Yes, definitely. Did you think there was a period of time where we had to choose? We were either Moist people or Tea Party people? Did you feel this? Or is that just in my imagination? No, I did not know that. You can be both, right?

Well, I was on Edge Fest. And they were both on Edge Fest. Were they not? But not at the same time. Didn't they take turns or something? Maybe they were the same band and David Usher would just do his It's possible. Who's the guy from The Doors? Jim Morrison.

I see, yes. Because the tea party I remember. Sounded a lot like Jim Morrison. They were compared a lot. But you know, it's natural for human beings to draw comparisons on other things. Yes. To make them familiar with it. You know, it's like when you're going to meet somebody, what do they look like?

You start thinking of famous people the person looks like. Well, you know, it's like if Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson had a baby. Yes. You know what I mean? But the same goes with cities. Like whenever I'm in Edmonton, I go, oh, you know, it's kind of like Duluth. Or whenever we're driving to Oakville on Lakeshore, we go around the corner where the factory is and we go, oh, yeah, like Regina. It's the same corner.

It's the same factory. Yep. That is interesting. Now, I need to, can we talk about your health? Sure. In 2008, you were diagnosed with breast cancer and you underwent a and I don't know how to pronounce it a luptectomy

lumpectomy which is also called a partial mastectomy and that means they remove a part of your breasts they hack out the cancer they hack it out get it out of me and good because you want it out. Get it out.

Get it out of me. Oh, yeah. And most, I mean, and anyone who's experienced breast cancer or any kind of cancer, you know, you just want it out of your body so you can get on with things, really. Okay. Now, because I know you're exactly one year older than me, I can do this math really quickly. You're very young in 2008. It's awfully young, right, to be diagnosed with cancer?

Oh, sure. I mean, you know, the bells and whistles go off in the medical community. Now I think that diagnostics are better. I think people, women, men, everybody's a little bit more aware of some warning signs, what to look for. I think that more people are diagnosed earlier, and survival rates are probably getting better and better. Right. Like Bart Simpson said, get a mammogram, man. Yeah, there you go. That's right. Can you share any, like, how are you now? This is 10 years later. I feel great. I mean, what can you say? There's so much to say that you can't say it all. So being diagnosed with breast cancer is a terrifying thing for anybody, for any woman. And when I was, you know, I had just been married. I was married three weeks before I was diagnosed.

So that really threw a wrench into that. Did you feel a lump like you did a self-exam and felt a lump? Oh, absolutely, 100%. And at the time, I was anorexic. So I was like really skinny. I didn't have boobs that were very big. And, you know, it was just, I knew right away. They say women are intuitive and whatnot. Yeah, I know a lot of hypochondriacs too. For whatever reason, I felt that I needed to go to my doctor the next day, which I did. And, you know, I was under 40. So I technically did not qualify to get a mammogram. So I really had to push for that. And it's not

our nature to push for things because it's embarrassing anyway. You know, and you're embarrassed. And especially for me as a person who had a really public job, you know, people always talked about how I was fit, how this and that. I was a jumping bean, all these things. It was embarrassing. I felt humiliated. And the only interview I did was with George Trombolopoulos, Canada's boyfriend. Yes, he's been here. As he's known.

And I always appreciated that because he was really delicate about it. At the time, I was just hugely, I felt so ashamed. Although at the time, I was just hugely, I felt so ashamed. Although at the time, I didn't recognize it as that. I just knew that I was dreading it. I was just embarrassed to walk down the street. I didn't want anybody to see me. All the wigs I bought were blonde

so that nobody would recognize me. Everybody recognized me. It didn't matter. Maybe it was the Lamb of God baseball hat. But what I discovered was that I had a knack for volunteering, that I had a knack for volunteering with peer-to-peer support for breast cancer patients, palliative care patients, and that's how I got into hospital work.

And I love it. And I was like, oh, my God, this is what I was meant to do. This is after I thought, please, God, let me die because I can't stand being embarrassed anymore, which is probably every patient thinks that. My marriage not survive a lot of marriages do not survive things like health crisis whether whatever the reason cancers or other things and i just learned a lot about people families the health care system myself tits ladies I mean, it was amazing. I find the shame interesting because you're sick.

Well, every woman that I ever volunteered with, whenever we were doing peer-to-peer support and talks, shame, body shame, all these things happen for a patient as well as their own fear of dying or their fear of how their

family's going to feel or their fear that their children are scared. Right. Like you're letting people down. So it's so many layers of things. I'm sure the same thing goes for men. You know, when they're faced with a crisis there, there's a real shame that people have that sometimes they're not even aware of that. That's that feeling. And this hospital work you referred to, can you share some more specifics? Like, are you still doing this work with hospitals? Well, I just moved here, so I'm finding my way. You know, you're close to St. Joseph's Health Center.

I've looked at the volunteer programs at St. Joseph's. I was born there, by the way. You know, I used to think, oh, very good. Congratulations. Yes. I always thought I'd be a great porter. You know, I should be a porter in a hospital. What's a porter?

I get to wheel everybody around. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it with you. I mean, I should be a porter. What's a porter? I get to wheel everybody around. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it with you. I mean, so that's two things. One, that's a skit. And number two, that's amazing work because ultimately half the time, that's the time the patient is on their own.

They're not stuck listening to a doctor. They're not stuck there with their family around where they have to put on their game face. That's a really vulnerable position for a patient to be in. And that's a job that is a privilege for anyone to have. So thank your hospital staff today. I forget you're going to do a remake of I Love Myself Today. Thank your hospital staff today. That's right. Absolutely. I will say, because you've been there, that's to me, the weight of that

is everything. That you've been there, you have the empathy because you've been there. You've walked in those shoes. It was a great learning experience for me. But you're cancer-free now?

From your mouth to God's ears. I always say I'm too ugly to kiss goodbye. Stop it. I'm lost in your eyes as we speak. I'm too ugly to kiss goodbye. The it. I'm lost in your eyes as we speak.

I'm too ugly to kiss goodbye. The real ugly people will feel terrible hearing you say that. No, but it's true. And I found that humor really was a great way to get through all the stress. And it was actually a great way to get through the stress of the waiting room for other people if I just horsed around. In 2009, so you got diagnosed in 2008 and in 2009, you appeared in the video for Simple Plans Save You, because

you're at the end of that with other survivors like Sharon Osbourne, for example, or he's actually passed away since, but Renee. Mr. Celine Dion. Lovely man. Lovely man. Yeah, and that was a real, you know, we knew the Simple Plan guys from over the years, and

yeah, it was a great opportunity. Now, cancer, that should be enough for your 44-year-old woman. That's enough to deal with already. But there's more, okay? Because in 2012, you're diagnosed with a heart aneurysm? No. So I had a TFO. Okay, my research staff is getting fired.

No, what happened was my kidney started failing. And basically I knew that because I had a stomach ache and had to go to emergency. They thought the cancer came back. Oh, look at this scan we've got. Why is your kidney black with no blood in it? Well, because I had a stroke in my kidney called an infarct. You've got to be careful how you say it. I had a kidney infarct.

That's a German word. Must be. I had a stroke, basically, that passed through a hole in my heart, which is called a PFO, a patent for ovarian ovale,

which 25% of the population has and they don't know it. Interesting. And it's something that everybody can actually live with successfully, but I have procoagulant blood. It means it's sticky. But is this like a murmur? No. Nothing to do with murmur. Not really. Because I have procoagulant blood.

Is this like a murmur? No. I have a heart murmur. I don't know. I'd have to get my stethoscope and have it listen to your heart. Please do. For me, the stroke I would have had in my noggin or heart attack passed through that hole in my heart and went to my kidney.

As a result, I was very lucky I didn't lose my kidney. As a result, you know, I was very lucky I didn't lose my kidney. I still have great function in my kidney, but they closed the hole in my heart that they found. And so I had heart surgery about 10 days later and I was awake for that whole thing. Wow. And that was the most incredible. Like they're in your heart, but you're watching it? Like, yeah, you're watching it and you can feel it when they're in your heart, but you're watching it? Yeah, you're watching it.

And you can feel it when they put the implant in, which looks like a mesh umbrella, basically. And they open the umbrella in the hole and it closes it. And your own healthy tissue will support that mesh. But I felt my breathing change.

I literally felt my breathing change at that moment. And William Shatner's music was playing in the operating room. I couldn't make it up. And I thought, God, if I... His spoken word stuff, right? I don't know. It was the music. Yeah, he just spoke in words. I remember this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nuts. Rocket Man, he does, I think, from Elton John. It was nuts. I couldn't believe I wasn't actually dead. And I thought, if I live through this, God, I am going to clean my car and change my dentist. And both of those things I did. My dreams came true. Listen, I like it when you aim low because, you know what I mean? Clean your car and change your dentist.

It was great. Achievable goals. That's smart. Yes, yes. You don't want to do anything too tough. That's right. Oh my goodness. Hold on here. What do I have here?

I wanted to play something with your, with Snake. I hope I have the right one. You'll tell me if I'm wrong. Fantastic. Yes, you do. What's this song called? It's called Heavy. And it features your husband? Yes.

Not the guy from Degrassi. I want to make that clear. Right, that's right Nice So tell me I'm sorry that Because of time constraints If she likes it heavy Nice. And what, so tell me, I'm sorry that because of time constraints I sort of got us to

2001, 2001, and then of course you've released music since 2001. Of course. That's okay. That was for episode two

we were going to dive into that. Of course. So what is this from? So this is a single that we released this year. It's heavy, and we just released a new one also called Hotbox Girls, and we've got a new record coming out in the fall.

But, you know, in this day and age, really there's no other way for people to get music except just go and get it whenever they want it at any time stream it they don't have to buy it and uh so in the in the spirit of not fighting that and just wanting to get music out you know there's no reason to wait it's so different right like ibificus was like you went to hmv or say on the record man and you bought ibificus that's right we all did but the whole the idea of this buying tangible, like I have people come over and I got the new acid test here

and I'm like, okay, I guess you still need to have CDs and stuff but everybody's downloading or streaming. Well, a lot of people don't have CD players and so I have CDs,

for example, and we'll take them to shows. I have to sell them as car CDs, literally, because otherwise there's no context for a lot of people. What and this is a good closing question I think from Liam Savage he wants to know what inspires you musically today in 2018 like what's what musically is inspiring you? Everything and that's

the thing with music every if you're a music fan you like music. So there isn't a genre of music that I don't like. I listen to a lot of Bangra. My husband listens to a lot of Kiss and Avenged Sevenfold. I see you got the Kiss crest on your jacket. Yes, to honor Snake. Believe me. I like your jacket. I can't wait to get a picture and I can go through all the things on it.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, this is the old battle vest style jacket. It's very popular again. And here, hold on. Oh, a new button for me. So I got to give a shout out quickly to Pete Fowler, who was a DJ on Edge 102 in the 90s, but is now a police officer. See the full circle here?

Oh, my gosh. With the OPP. Oh, interesting. He's got a, it's called the Lost Indie City. I wear his t-shirts all the time. Oh, very good. It's a free, he puts together this show. That is yours. So Pete, Biff

Naked is now wearing your Lost Indie City button. I'm very proud. Biff, what a pleasure thank you for having me on your show and you you will come back right you weren't teasing me at the beginning I'm like eight blocks away right and yet I can see you're gonna phone your you're gonna phone Brian Gerstein from property in the six today and say I need to get further away from the Toronto Lake Studios is That's right. Is there anything in the beaches? That's what you're going to be looking for next. We have friends in the beaches. I'm here because the beaches is very expensive.

We love the area. We love it here. No, welcome to the hood. Thank you. Glad to have you in South Etobicoke by the lake. Sorry about the midges, but they only last six weeks, and they're completely harmless. They do not bite.

They're not like mosquitoes. They don't do anything. Yeah, they're on the windows and on the car windshields six weeks, and they're completely harmless. They do not bite. They're not like mosquitoes. They don't do anything. Yeah, they're on the windows and on the car windshields. But are you vegan? I am. So what happens when you're walking on the waterfront and you eat midges? Well, you know what? There are a group of Buddhist nuns that actually will wear masks over their faces lest they

harm an insect. Because I bike a lot and I eat a good pound of midge flesh every day. You should wear a medical mask. You can get them for two bucks at Shoppers Drug Mart. I need the protein. Oh, I understand. And that brings us to the end of our 331st show. You can follow me on Twitter.

I'm at Toronto Mike. And Biff, are you at BiffNaked? .com What about the Twitter handle? Oh are you at BiffNaked? Dot com. What about the Twitter handle? Oh, yeah, BiffNaked. And BiffNaked.com is where you go to find out where Biff's playing. Go see her in concert.

And you're going to wear that jacket in concert? I often do. I take it off. It's a little hot. Oh, I love it. Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer. Propertyinthe6.com is at Raptors Devotee. Go Raptors. They play game one tonight against the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Paytm is at Paytm Canada. And Camp Turnasol is at Camp Turnasol. See you all next week. ... ...... We'll see you next time.