Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Cheesy Love Songs: Toronto Mike'd #1428

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

In this 1428th episode of Toronto Mike'd, FOTMs kick out cheesy love songs. Toronto Mike'd is proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, Ridley Funeral Home, The Advantaged Investor podcast from Raymond James Canada and Electronic Products Recycling Association. If you would like to support the show, we do have partner opportunities available. Please email Toronto Mike at [e-mail]

Welcome to episode 1428 of Toronto Mic'd. Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, a fiercely independent craft brewery who believes in supporting communities, good times and brewing amazing beer. Order online for free local home delivery in the GTA. Palma Pasta. Enjoy the taste of fresh, homemade Italian pasta and entrees from Palma Pasta in Mississauga and Oakville. RecycleMyElectronics.ca. Committing to our planet's future means properly recycling our electronics of the past. The Advantage Investor podcast from Raymond James Canada.

Valuable perspective for Canadian investors who want to remain knowledgeable, informed, and focused on long-term success. And Ridley Funeral Home. Pillars of the community since 1921. Valentine's Day, a hallmark holiday if there ever was one. Some of you listening have romantic love in your life, and for you, every day is Valentine's Day. Some of you don't day is Valentine's Day. Some of you don't have a romantic love interest.

And this time of year is annoying AF. For those of you in love, looking for love, or happily unattached, let's turn this ridiculous holiday on its head and kick out some cheesy love songs. As always with these FOTM KOTJ episodes, you're the star of the show. Now plug your nose as we dive into the stinkiest cheese around. It's February. Love month. We love love, don't we? VP of sales here. For centuries, poets and songwriters have been pouring their hearts out

and embarrassing themselves with earnest, schlocky queso. Heck, the freaking Bible is pretty cringe. Love is patient, love is kind. That is some well-aged fromage right there. The great Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote that his love is like a red red rose that's newly sprung in June. Well, old Bobby didn't know anything about climate change, because roses are budding by March these days. Have some more haggis with that cheese, Bobby. But for me, the ultimate and romantic cheese gives us the curds and whey we desire in simple terms that anyone can relate to. It bleeds. It brings us to our knees. It lives. It dies. It's no surprise. Love bites. Death Leopard. it. Who do you think of?

Does he look like me? Do you tell lies? And say that it's forever? Do you think twice? I just touch and see Ooh, babe Oh, yeah When you're alone

Do you let go? Are you wild and willing? Or is it just for sure? Ooh, come on! I don't want to touch you too much baby Cause making love to you might drive me crazy I know you think that love is the way that you think I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it

Love bites, love bleeds The truth it makes you a mummy Love leaves, love dies It's no surprise Love makes, love bleeds It's what I need When I'm with you, are you so yes? I'm not getting through, What do you believe yourself? When you wake up

Will you walk out? It can't be love Is it going to pass? Ooh baby I don't wanna touch you too much baby Ooh, just make it last, it is my try, it's crazy Goodbye, love, please Just bring the picture of my years Love, please It's bringing me to my knees

Love, please Love time It's not a surprise Love, please Love, please It's what I need I'm not a fool I don't want to touch you too much baby You might drive me crazy I know you think that love is the way you make it So I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it Don't fight, don't we

Don't we need to know me Fight, love, peace The twinning that you're in my need Love lives, love dies For love to burn Fight, love, peace The twinning that you're in my need Love lives, love dies It's time to fight Love means, love means

It's what I need It's Stephanie Wilkinson. I love Bryan Adams. Back in the 80s, the debate between Bryan Adams and Corey Hart, I was always on the Bryan Adams side. I saw him at Maple Leaf Gardens. I saw him at Molson Park, the year they did the commercial for Coke to be shown at the end of the World Series.

I may have seen him again a couple of times. I love the collaborations he's done with Jan Arden. I think he's a great human being. His biggest flaw was everything I do, I do it for you. See what you mean to me Search your heart, search your soul When you find me there, you'll search no more Don't tell me it's not worth trying for You can't tell me it's not worth dying for Everything I do, I do it for you Look into your heart, you will find

There's nothing there to hide Take me as I am Take my life I would give it all I would sacrifice Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for I can't help it, there's nothing I want more You know it's true, everything I do

I do it for you There's no love like your love And no other could give more love Could give more love There's no way Unless you're there All the time All the way Yeah! Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth trying for I can't help it, there's nothing I want more

Yeah, I would fight for you I'd lie for you Walk the wild for you Yeah, I'd die for you You know it's true Everything I do I do it for you I'm gonna be the one to tell you I'm gonna be the one to tell you

I'm gonna be the one to tell you I'm gonna be the one to tell you And we'll see it through And we'll see it through Oh yeah Yeah! I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there

I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there I'm on the rise I'm on the rise Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm going far away, far away It's FOTM Rob Domundo here, offering my unsolicited opinion about what's the cheesiest love song

ever. So, I have to say this as a huge fan of the TV show Starsky and Hutch, and in tribute and with full respect to Mr. David Soul, who we lost about a month ago, and his portrayal of Officer Hutchinson, pardon me, but the day I found out that this was the same guy who sang that cheesy love song Don't Give Up On Us, Baby, you know, I grew up in the same era where our parents

would play that on the easy listening stations and oh my goodness gracious me, that song just yeah, loved Hutch, love Starsky and Hutch, but my memory of that show wants to be about David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser chasing after the bad guys in the red Turino with and Hutch but my memory of that show wants to be about you know David Sowell and Paul Michael Glaser chasing after the bad guys in the red arena with a white stripe not some KTEL record song that apparently went to number one in no fewer than four different countries so Mr. Sowell did not need my endorsement at any point I guess I'm in the minority, but that's my opinion. Cheesiest love song ever,

Don't Give Up On Us Baby, David So. Thanks for letting me in. Don't give up on us baby Don't make our love seem right The future isn't just one night It's written in the humble light We painted all the stars We can't change ours Don't give up on us baby, we're still worth one more try I know We can still come through

I really lost my head last night You've got a right to stop believing There's still a little love left, even so Don't give up on us baby, Lord knows we've come this far Can't we stay the way we are? The angel and the dreamer who sometimes plays a fool Don't give up on us, I know We can still come through It's written in the wind, it's written in the moonlight And painted on the stars We can't change ours Don't give up on us baby

We're still worth one more try I know we put a last one by Just for a rainy few When maybe stars are few Don't give up on us I know Hey Mike, it's Toast Rob, Rob Spoon, whatever. Okay, I thought of a love song, cheesy love song to add to the collection then. And basically my childhood was filled with cheesy love songs. And that's kind of why I love them so much, because I was too young to know that they were cheesy. But this one sort of sits at the top of my list of the

love songs that I love. And I guess they're cheesy, but to me, they're not cheesy. So I'm a cheesy person in many ways, I guess, because of loving all these stupid songs. But this is Olivia Newton John. And when I was about eight years old, this was on the top of the charts. And I loved the sound of her voice. And to me it was, I don't know, I just I loved, I guess I loved the sound of that. And it gave me feelings I didn't know I would knew how to feel yet, I guess. But when I think about it now, I think, man, she she like awakened, she awakened something inside me and like those love songs.

I got to meet her in 2001. We were doing Mamma Mia in Los Angeles and she was at the opening night. I have a photo of me with her somewhere. But I was excited to meet her, but I didn't think of that moment in my childhood to go, oh my God, I loved you so much, which it'm, it's probably a good thing I didn't. But anyways, here's my song. Baby, I hang around here a little more than I should. We both know I got somewhere else to go.

But I got something to tell you That I never thought I would But I believe you really ought to know I love you I honestly love you You don't have to answer I see it in your eyes Maybe it was better left unsaid But this is pure and simple I'd better left unsaid

But this is pure and simple And you must realize That it's coming from my heart and not my head I love you I honestly love you, I honestly love you I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable I'm not trying to make you anything at all But this feeling doesn't come along every day And you shouldn't blow the chance When you've got the chance to say

I love you. I love you. I honestly love you. If we both were born in another place and time I'd be a good boy If we both were born in another place and guess we'll just be leaving in a kiss I love you I honestly love you I honestly love you.

I honestly love you. Hi, Toronto Mike and the Toronto Mike Universe. It's Jill, aka JJ here. I've finally gotten around to doing my submission for the Cheesiest Song. I actually have two. The first one is Don't Know Much About History by Sam Cooke and I love Sam Cooke and I like the song but when you start to listen to the lyrics it just starts to get ridiculous because he describes all the things that he has no clue about but he knows that he's in love with you which the more you listen to it you start to think that he starts to sound

like a for lack of a better phrase a dodo bird but I love the song and he sings it so well and it gets stuck in your head but it is incredibly cheesy and a little disappointing if somebody dedicates that to you or says you know that the song reminds them of you and the second song that I'm going to sneak in is the way you do the things you do by the temptations in which he takes the time to describe all the things that you would be good at if you decided to do them but because you're you, you're amazing. And he just starts to, well they just start to compare you to a bunch of inanimate objects. He says you could have been a candle, a handle, a broom. It just,

the more you listen to it, the more ridiculous it gets. And it's incredibly cheesy. Again, sung really well, but just very ridiculous the more you listen to it and take it in. I'm holding you so tight You know you could have been a handle The way you swept me off the field You know you could have been a broom The way you smelled so sweet You know you could have been some perfume Well, you could have been anything that you wanted to

And I can tell The way you do, the things you do, oh, baby As pretty as you are You know you could have been a flower And put looks for some minutes You know you could have been a flower You could have looked so awesome in it You know that you could be an hour The way you stole my heart You know you could have been a Cougar And baby you're so smart

You know you could have been a school girl Well, it could have been anything that you wanted to and I could tell The way you do the things you do, the way you do the things you do, the way you do the thing You made my life so rich You know you could have been so money And baby you're so sweet You know you could have been some honey Well you could have been anything that you wanted to And I can tell The way you do the things I do You really swept me off my feet

The way you do the things you do You made my life complete The way you do the things you do You made my life so bright The way you do the things you do You make me feel alright The way you do the things you do You make me feel alright

The way you do the things you do You make me feel alright Toronto Mike, Joe Louis here. Cheesy love song? Too easy. It's almost like you're baiting me. I tried to resist, but how can I not pick the Bare Naked Ladies cover of Lovers in a Dangerous Time? What was originally a serious song ends up a folksy, sappy trainwreck.

It just keeps giving as the song I love to hate. It's like a Bizarro world over Achiever. Don't the hours go shorter as the days go by We never get to stop and open our eyes Ah, I'm just messing with you. My actual pick for Cheesiest Love Song is the absolutely saccharine, Got to Believe in Magic by David Pomerantz. It was featured in the masterpiece of 80s teen cinema, Zapped, starring Scott Baio as Barney, a high school student who gains telekinetic

powers after a science lab accident. The song makes a strong case for representing peak cheese in the love song category, so it's only natural that I send it out to Brian Dunn and Stephen Page. Love you guys. Show me where to start Let me play the part of your first love All the stars are right Every wish is ours tonight, my love Hitted those who wait, trust in love to fate Finding out too late that they've lost it They will never know the ways of love You've got to believe in magic Tell me how do people find each other In a world that's full of strangers You've got to believe in magic There's something stronger than the moon above

Cause it's magic when two people fall in love I may never know why I need you so All I need to know is this feeling Handle it with care We were born to share this dream, my love You've got to believe in magic Tell me how do people find each other In a world that's full of strangers You've got to believe in magic Something me how do people find each other In a world that's full of strangers You've got to believe in magic Something stronger than the moon above Cause it's magic when two people fall in love

Tell me how two people find each other In a world that's full of strangers You've got to believe in magic There's something stronger than love, moon and blood Cause it's magic when two people fall in love That's what we believe in magic In a world, in a world, in a world That's what we believe in magic and I used to make mixtapes together. We'd sit down on the orange shag carpeting in the living room of my one friend's parents' house because they had both a record player and a double cassette deck. The lap of luxury. And we'd democratically decide what songs to put onto our collective mixtapes. Back in 1987, our tastes converged with the Depeche Mode, but my buddy John leaned

towards hip-hop, and that meant that while I was discovering R.E.M., he was discovering a new hip-hop artist by the name of L.L. Cool J. A few years later, I would concede that L.L. Cool J's Mama Said Knock You Out is one of the greatest songs ever written, but three years earlier, in 1987, L.L. Cool J released this piece of crap, I Need Love, which tragically made it onto one of our mixtapes. the games that I had played with many hearts and I'm not saying no names then the thought occurred tear drops made my eyes blurred cause I said to myself look what you've done to her I can feel it inside I can't explain how it feels all I know is that I never dish another raw deal

playing make believe pretending that I'm true holding in my laugh as I say that I love you saying I'm all kissing you on the ear whispering I love you and I'll always be here although I often reminis and I'll always be here Although I often reminisce I can't believe that I found a desire for true love Floating around inside my soul because my soul is cold One half of me deserves to be this way till I'm old But the other half needs affection and joy

And the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy, I need love I need love Romance sheer delight how sweet I gotta find me a girl to make my life complete You can scratch my back, we'll get cozy and huddle I'll lay down my jacket so you can walk over a puddle I'll give you a rose, pull out your chair before we eat Kiss you on the cheek and say, ooh girl you're so sweet It's deja vu whenever I'm with you I could go on forever telling you what I do But where you at, you're neither here nor there Deja vu whenever I'm with you I could go on forever telling you what I do

But where you at you're neither here nor there I swear I can't find you anywhere Damn sure ain't in my closet or under my rug This love search is really making me bug And if you know who you are why don't you make yourself seen Take a chance with my love and you'll find out what I mean Fantasies can run but they can't hide And when I find you I'ma pour all my love inside I need love I need love I wanna kiss you, hold you, never scold you, just love you

Suck on your neck, caress you and rub you Grind, moan and never be alone If you're not standing next to me you're on the phone Can't you hear it in my voice? I need love bad I got money but love something I never had I need your ruby red lips, sweet face and all I love you more than a man who's ten feet tall I watch the sunrise in your eyes We're so in love when we hug, we become paralyzed

Our bodies explode in ecstasy unreal You're as soft as a pillow and I'm as hard as steel It's like a dreamland, I can't lie, I've never been there Maybe this is an experience that me and you can share Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet, I swear to you, this is something I'll never forget I need love I need love See what I mean? I've changed I'm no longer a playboy on the run

I need something that's stronger Friendship, trust, honor, respect, admiration This whole experience has been such a revelation It's taught me love and how to be a real man To always be considerate and do all I can Protect you, you're my lady and you mean so much My body tingles all over from the slightest touch of your hand And understand I'll be frozen in time Till we meet face to face and you tell me you're mine If I find you girl, I swear I'll be a good man I'm not gonna leave it in destiny's hands I can't sit and wait for my princess to arrive Hi Mike, it's Leslie Villian here. I have my submission for the cheesiest love song.

Before I tell you my selection, I'm first going to give you an honorable mention. I almost picked this one for obvious reasons. It's I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston. The reason would probably be obvious to you because you know that my sister, FOTM Carolyn Taylor, stars in the Crave show by the same name I have nothing having to do with that song I have nothing but I thought maybe that's just a little bit too obvious and maybe self-serving I thought maybe I'd leave the Whitney Houston song to Alan Gold since you know he seems to be a big Whitney Houston fan anyway so the song that I chose is a theme song from a movie released in

1981. It won the Academy Award for best song. It also won the Golden Globe that year for best song. And it's none other than Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. The reason I chose this song, I had to kind of go back and think what makes a song, a love song specifically, cheesy. And the thing that's cheesy about love songs, I find duets to be really cheesy. Two people singing back and forth about how much they love each other, I don't know, I find that really, really cheesy. The other thing that makes a love song cheesy would be like some of the lyrics. And it's interesting, the lyrics in this song actually then become song be like some of the lyrics. And it's interesting the lyrics in this

song actually then become song titles a couple of years later. So for example, there's the line your every breath that I take every step I make that kind of sounds a little bit like the police, doesn't it? And then there's also another line two hearts that beat as one. Hmm, I think I kind of heard that in a U2 song a couple years later. So I just thought though they're like really cheesy, cheesy lines. So that's what I would say makes a song, a love song, cheesy. We'll also mention that Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey also recorded this song. Shania Twain did a duet with Lionel Richie to this song and Kenny Rogers also sang it solo which is interesting because he sung a bunch of other Lionel

Richie songs specifically Lady. Lionel Richie wrote that song for Kenny Rogers so that is my rambling reason as to why I chose Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. My love, there's only you in my life, the only thing that's right. Your every breath that I take Your every step I make And I, I want to share All my love with you. No one else will do. And your eyes, your eyes, your eyes, they tell me how much you care. Oh, yes. How much you care Oh yes You will always be

My endless love Two hearts, two hearts that beat as one How nice it's just begun Forever I'll hold you close in my arms I can't resist your charms I love you I'll be your food for you, I'm sure You know I don't mind, oh you know I don't mind Loving you, you mean the world to me Oh, I know, I found in you

My endless love Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll be there for you, I'm sure You know I don't mind Oh, you know I don't mind Yes, you'll be the only one Cause no one can deny This love I have inside I'll give it all to you, my love My love, my love, my endless love Love When Jody, my wife, called me from work back in the early hours of August 94 to tell me that she was in labor with our firstborn and to come get her, after I

showered, shaved and changed, I changed our answering machine and saying, I changed a little bit, she's having my baby. What a wonderful way for her to say she loves me. I can see it, your face is glowing I can see it in your eyes, I'm happy in knowing That you're having my baby You're the woman I love and I love what it's doing to you You're having my baby love and I love what it's doing to you You're having my baby You're a woman in love and I love what's going through you The need inside you, I see it showing

Oh the seed inside you, baby Do you feel it growing? Are you happy in knowing that you're having love, baby? I'm a woman in love and I love what's doing to me Having love, baby You're having enough baby I'm a woman in love and I love what's going through me Didn't have to keep it Wouldn't put you through it You could have swept it from your life

But you wouldn't do it Oh, you wouldn't do it, oh you wouldn't do it Now you're having my baby I'm a woman in love and I love what's doing to me I'm having my baby I'm a woman in love and I love what's going to me I'm a woman in love and love what's going through me I have a pop baby, every night baby What a lovely way you said how much you love me

Hey Mike, it's Eric and I have a confession to make. I have a guilty pleasure for sugary bubblegum pop songs. One of my favorite songs from this category is One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful. It's like the perfect pop song. It's about three minutes long, has a nice upbeat tempo, and it's about love. So I would totally consider it a cheesy love song. One Direction, What Makes You Beautiful. Thank you Mike. Happy Valentine's Day. Shout out to Ellis. Shout out to Greg the Hammer. But your eye is enough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you

Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you lift your hair gets me overwhelmed But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell You don't know, oh oh You don't know you're beautiful If only you saw what I can see You'll understand why I want you so desperately Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know, oh oh

You don't know you're beautiful Oh oh, that's what makes you beautiful So come on, you got it wrong To prove I'm right, I put it in a song I don't know why, you're being shy And to the way, when I look into your eyes Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you

Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you lift your hair gets me overwhelmed But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell You don't know, oh oh You don't know you're beautiful If only you saw what I can see You'll understand why I want you so desperately Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh oh You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh That's what makes you beautiful Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na Baby, you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell You don't know your feelings Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you lift your head gets me overwhelmed But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell you don't know Oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful If only you saw what I can see You'll understand why I want you so desperately But now I'm looking at you and I can't believe you don't know Oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

Oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful Oh-oh, that's what makes you beautiful Hello Toronto Michael, it's Alan, your old pal, here to contribute to another jam fest. Cheesy love songs, Jesus. Given the fact that you quite honorably play the whole tune, listening to a whole cavalcade of cheesy love songs could be a masochistic listening experience. I don't promise to

listen to the episode, but I will try to contribute one. So I was thinking about cheesy love songs and it did occur to me that the thing that makes them often so nauseating is not simply that the lyric is cloying and cheesy, but that the melody also is. And that if you take a song like with the lyric, sometimes in the title or the song with the words, I honestly... Cheesy loves songs which I suspect somebody will contribute to this episode. If those songs had more, you know, tolerable melodies or beats or if they rocked a little bit, they might not be so unbearable. So in that regard, I'm going to pick more of a kind of a rock song with cheesy lyrics.

I believe I misheard the lyrics of this song when I first heard it. So when he says you have a perfectly round tongue, I took it as a, you know, that, no, there's a love song. He's talking to his girlfriend, describing what he likes about her body, I guess. Anyway, I'm not sure it's absolutely a love song, but I'm proud to present possibly the first appearance on these jams of one of my favorite bands from the 60s the west coast pop art experimental band with their song which I checked is on youtube their song buddha you have a perfectly round tongue painted green

Perfectly round tongue, paint green And a fountain, and a mountain And a tunnel for me to follow And a door inside your mind that you won't open You're so beautiful and naive with bells on Give me fantasy, tell me my dreams I want so hard to please you Many times, too many times I see everything just the way it is

Let me in, let me in I'll give you candy Let me in, let me in I'll give you avocados That's much more than most people have to offer You have it perfectly rendered Paint it green And a fountain

And a mountain And a tunnel for me to follow. And a door inside your mind that you won't open. You're so beautiful and naive with bells on. Give me fantasy, tell me my dreams Too many times, too many times I see everything just the way it is You have a perfectly round tongue, painted green And a mountain and a mountain and a tunnel for me to follow

And a door inside your mind that you won't open Hey fellow FOTN, Spin It Down Gore here. Well, I haven't decided if I like this song or if I don't like it. But one thing I do know is that it is quite cheesy. The song that I've chosen for the cheesy love song is Every Rose Has a Thorn by Poison. Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Although we both lie close together, we're a few miles apart inside Was it something I said or something I did? Did my words not come out right? Though I tried not to hurt you, though I tried

But I guess that's why they say every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn that knows I'm listening to my favorite song playing on the radio Where the DJ said it was a game of easy come and easy go But I wonder, does he know, has he ever been like this? And I know that you would be here right now

If I could let you know somehow I guess every road has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings a sad sad song Every rose has its thorn Though it's been a while now I can still feel so much pain Like the knife that cuts through the wound he used But the scars, that scar remains I'm gonna saved your love that night if I'd known what to say Instead of making love, we both made us heroines And now I hear you found somebody new

And that I never meant that much to you To hear that tears me up inside And to see you cut me like a knife I guess every rose has its thorn Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn The Cheesiest Love Song that I know is probably and then some by The Arkells.

The song overall just gives me this warm, cozy, comforting feeling. Overall, it does sound like the kind of song where you're gonna sing around a campfire, or I know it's also been used a lot for first dances at weddings. But the way that the song builds and talks about how you love somebody and you knew it from when you saw them and that this person accepts you for who you are, despite anything else. It's really sweet. And that's why it's one of the cheesiest, probably loveliest love songs that I know. I found an empty room, locked the door shut Party raged on, you could only hear the bass thumb With two empty cups, my heart it all came pouring out You're white rushing, just let me be your boy, Scott

And when I'm gone, do you think about me Since you came back, I see things differently And this love came so easily We were talking in the dark, but it's so clear to me I adore you, cause you don't care where I came from Just kiss me in the dark while my lips are numb And I love every inch of you And then some, and then some, and then some

Face to face, tell me what you see I'm the town crier in your reluctant royalty I understand just where you get second thoughts I'm New Year's Eve and you're waiting for the bar to drop I understand just where you get second thoughts I'm new year's eve and you're waiting for the ball to drop And when I'm gone, do you think about me? When you dream, do I make the screen? And this love came so easily Can you see it shining there up on the marquee?

I adore you, cause you don't care where I came from Just kiss me in the dark while my lips are numb And I love every inch of you And then some, and then some, and then some And then some, and then so And then so, and then so And then so, and then so And then so, and then so And when I'm gone

Do you think about me When I'm gone do you think about me? When I'm gone, do you think about me? When we were just green, two hours in the spring We were talking in the dark I adore you, cause you don't care where I came from Just kiss me in the dark Why my lips are numb And I love Every inch of you

And then some And then some And then I adore you Cause you don't care where I came from Just kiss me In the dark Why my lips are numb And I love every inch of you

And then some, and then some, and then some And then some, and then some And then some, and then some And then some, and then some And then some, and then some Hi, it's Cam Gordon. My choice for the Cheesy Song List is The World I Know by Collective Soul. This song went to number one in Canada, if you can believe it. It also went to number one on the Billboard mainstream rock charts. Collective Soul had some decent songs.

This one is not a decent song. It is cheese. It is terrible. It belongs on this list. Thank you. Has the sweet breeze blow? Has the kindness gone? Oh, still lingers on I treat myself a new bound, pretty

Sitting alone in New York City and I don't know what Are we listening? Hymns of apary Happy eyes to see Love is gathering All the words that I've been reading Have now started the after beating N-2-1, N-2-1 So I walk up on high And I stepped to the edge

To see my world below And I laughed at myself Why the tears roll down Cause it's the world I know Oh Cause it's the world I know Oh, it's the world I know I drink myself a new found beauty, sitting alone in New York City Don't know what, don't know what So I walk up on high And I step to the edge To see my world below

And I laugh at myself While the tears roll down Cause it's the world I know Oh, it's the world I know Yeah, I walk up on high And I step near the edge To see my world below And I love for myself, why the tears roll down Ricky here, the elevator man, and my pick for the cheesy love song, it's an old

one. I actually enjoy this song. Von Monroe has a beautiful voice, but the lyrics and everything are kind of cheesy. So there I set it again Vaamaro is my pick. No use to pretend There, I've said it again I've said it, what more can I say? Believe me, there's no other way I love you I will to the end There I've said it again I've tried to drum up A phrase that would sum up all that I fear for you.

But what good are phrases, the thought that amazes, Is you love me and it's heavenly. And is heavenly, forgive me For wanting you so, but one thing I want you to know There I've said it again. The end Forgive me for wanting you so, but one thing I want you to know I've loved you Since heaven knows when There I go There I said it again Hey Toronto Mike, it's Cambrio and I've got a request here for the Kick Off the Jams Cheesy Love Songs edition and I'm gonna go with From First to Last with the song Emily.

Now a few quick fun facts here. From first to last this album came out in 2004 and it's called My Teenage Angst Has A Body Count. And it's not just an emo throwaway line. If you've seen the movie Heathers you'll know that Winona Ryder says that line when she literally, well I won't get there with the spoilers, but that phrase has a meaning in the movie. Also, from first to last is the band of Skrillex, formerly known as Sonny Moore. So that's from first to last, Emily. My apologies ahead of time. This is cheesy and whiny. Bye bye. Smiles and her laughter It's the only thing that I've been waiting for A time We're countless off a distance and our hope

Goes greater Swept by pretty eyes and laughter It's for a time The only thing that I've been waiting for I hope it's something worth the waiting Cause it's the only time that I ever feel real Thunder stones could never stop me Cause it's no one in the world like Emily

She's simple yet confusing Her sparkling eyes make me weak at my words They tremble, they seem like years in this month of December The winter, oh it's mean for her I have yet to sleep And never will I give up trying cause you're everything to me I hope it's something worth the waitin' It's the only time that I ever feel real Cause thunderstorms could never stop me Cause there's no one in the world like Emily There's no one in the world like Emily! Hey Mike, hey FOTM's, it's JD here and I wanted to pick a song for Cheesy Love Song Month

here on the Toronto Miked podcast. My song is one that goes back to the mid to late 80s. one that goes back to the mid to late 80s. It was released on the third album by this band, the aptly named Theater of Pain. I'm of course talking about Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue. It was a piano ballad and it might be the first song I ever slow danced to even though there's a ripping guitar solo in the middle. This song is pure cheese. I'm talking blue. Stinky stinky cheese. Although I still have a soft spot for it. I guess I like cheese. Just take this song and you'll never be left all alone Take me to your heart, fill me in your bones Just one more night and I'm coming on this long and winding road I'm on the way, I'm on the way Oh, sweet home, tonight, tonight

I'm on the way, I'm on the way Oh, hey, oh, sweetheart You know that I've seen too many romantic dreams Up in light, falling on the silver screen My heart's like an open book for the whole world to read Sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams I'm on my way, I'm on my way Oh, sweet home Tonight, tonight I'm on the way

Just set me free Oh, sweet home Oh, sweet home Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, La-ma-ma-way, la-ma-ma-way Oh, I'm on my way, I'm on my way Home sweet home Yeah, I'm on my way Just set me free Home sweet home Music Smell that stinky stinky cheese. What a terrible idea for an FOTMKOTJ this was. I apologize. I doubt anyone's even listening to my voice right now.

Did you get through this episode? Did you wade through almost 90 minutes of cheesy love songs. If you did, I'm impressed. But I'm going to make sure you don't get to a single note of Rosie and Grey, which is most definitely not a stinky, cheesy love song. Back in 1990, Vanilla Ice was at the height of his power. I'm too old Not to know better, but young enough that I fell under the spell and fan myself non ironically enjoying ice ice, baby I'm confident enough to say this now. I was a fan of Ice Ice Baby to the point where I learned every word, I knew every lyric. I could rap along with Vanilla Ice to Ice Ice Baby. We had a video dance party at my high

school. I think this was the much music video dance party and they played the video for Play That Funky Music. And I remember enjoying this second single from To The Extreme. I look back and I cringe, but I remember digging Ice Ice Baby and Play That Funky Music. The third single off this debut album by Vanilla Ice is the cheesiest, stinkiest love song I have ever heard. Maybe it is it so bad it's good? I don't want to say it's so bad it's good. It's just really really bad and I'm almost sorry that I'm gonna drop it in an episode of Toronto Mikes right now but it might be the worst song I've ever heard. I Love You is a ballad released on Valentine's Day in 1991. The video was directed by Michael Bay. It's all bad. It's terrible, but here it is.

I love you. Girl I keep thinking of how I feel When I'm in your arms gives me a chill Just knowing that you want me by your side Mellows my mind and enhances my pride Girl I need you more and more each day But we won't run I tell you I'm here to stay I'm captured by your love and your pretty smile Your devastating beauty and your sweet profile I love you Cause I love you I love you Cause I love you Cause I love you

You're so fine, let's wine and dine I'm so happy that you are mine Thinking of you, I melt with desire Take you in my arms, let love take us higher To hear you talk, sounds so sweet, when you're close to me, I feel your heat Girl I want you and you want me, and it'll last until eternity You're like the snow, falling from the sky, so green Like the look in your eye, you're my queen I buy you everything, yes girl, even diamond rings

Cause you're my lady, and this love is true Every sunset makes me think of you And I'll never I love you Cause I love you I love you Cause I love you Hello? Girl, when I first saw ya, it was love at first sight. We've been goin' out now for about two years, and I still feel the same. I know I haven't said it much before, well, it's because see I get all choked up inside. It just doesn't wanna come out I don't know

Maybe this will help for all the bad things I've done So no matter what goes on No matter what happens Just always remember I love you You I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a

I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of a I'm a little bit of, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star

I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star And that brings us to the end of our 1428th show. You can follow me on Twitter and Blue Sky. I'm at Toronto Mike. Much love to all who made this possible. That's Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, RecycleMyElectronics.ca, Raymond James Canada, and Ridley Funeral Home. See you all Friday when FOTM Jesse Hirsch makes his in-studio debut. Cause my UI check has just come in, ah where you been?

Because everything is coming out rosy and gray Yeah the wind is cold but the snow is warm, it's me today And your smile is fine and it's just like mine and it won't go away Cause everything is rosy and green