Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Christina Walkinshaw: Toronto Mike'd #139

Episode Date: October 28, 2015

Mike chats with comedian Christina Walkinshaw about how tough it is for comics in Canada, her Comedy Now special, the "show me your tits" heckling incident and her popular Tinder blog.

Welcome to episode 139 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything, often with a distinctly Toronto flavour. I'm Mike from torontomic.com and joining me this week is comedian Christina Walkinshaw. Hi! Welcome! Are you, uh, this is going to sound terrible. Am I supposed to talk over the music? No, do you like the music? Yeah, no, I dig it.

I'm assuming it's somebody local. It is Ill Vibe, Toronto's very own Ill Vibe. Yes, all right, I like it. Local talent. Some people have said I'm not cool enough for this theme song. What? Those people don't know you. Thank you.

Gruel. It's soaking wet outside. I hope you've dried off. I'm all right. I'm from Vancouver, so I have like eight umbrellas. Somebody said that like, because there's a lot of warnings about this rainstorm. And I read someone said,

this is like Wednesday in Vancouver. It's totally normal. It's like, it's just rain, right? It's just rain. And like I said, I had to rent a car today for a gig anyway. So I feel, I feel good. The rain doesn't feel as daunting as it usually does. They sure did prepare us for this though.

It's like remnants of a hurricane and some Great Lakes storm. And they're like 60 kilometer winds and it sounds really scary. And then you go outside and it's like just rain. Yeah, that's fine. So thanks for coming. You are the very first comedian I've had on this show. And so far I haven't said anything funny. So awesome.

I'm easing my way into it. It's still morning for me, even though it's two o'clock. Yeah, this is like, yeah, this is like really early for a comedian. Kind of a comedian kind of yeah i'm still my first coffee of the day i haven't even had my first beer of the day like this is a weird this is a weird morning you know it's always good that you do the coffee before the beer i know you really do you need to like wake yourself up and then get so hyper that you need to be like you need the beer to like come back down to normal and i'm going to share the funny little encounter we just had which is that so you're the beer to like come back down to normal. And I'm going to share the funny little encounter we just had, which is that, so you're the, this is episode 139.

You are early. So I decided I'd do a bike ride before you got here. And it's very wet outside, as we mentioned. And I, so I wore shorts. Bottom line is it was, it's soaking wet and it's really windy. And I probably should have skipped the ride today, but I wore shorts. Bottom line is it's soaking wet and it's really windy. And I probably should have skipped the ride today, but I did it. And then I got back. And then I was like, I was literally starving to death.

Like I was so hungry. I've never been as hungry as I was when I got back from this ride. And I think maybe it's the wind resistance. Like going west, the wind was at my back and i was flying and then coming back east i was uh it was like a stationary bike like i was going as hard as i could and i was hardly moving and then i guess that's like how you like that's how you burn calories or something because i'm starving and'm starving. And then you came home and ate ice cream. Okay, this is it.

So like you came early and I had to eat. Like I felt like I would faint if I didn't eat. And I got the lovely Christina Walkinshaw is in my home. And I want to record, but I don't want to faint. I felt creepy because I got here early and then I was sitting outside of my car. I'm like, what do I just like stake out his house? Like I'm Kalinda from The Good Wife or something. I was like, I might as well actually just text you and be like, okay, I'm an idiot.

And I'm half an hour early. Yeah. Well, I felt like I felt kind of creepy, like sitting beside you in my living room. And I'm literally, I got, I'm eating ice cream out of the container. And then I grabbed a bagel and peanut butter just to get like a little sustenance in me. And I felt like this is like poor Christina. That's how I can tell you have kids though, because you have all these fun groceries. You have peanut butter and bagels.

No, that's my stuff. No, that's my stuff. And the ice cream is, I don't know how, so we had like apple pie and then that's the Alamode, I guess. I guess so. Well, my house is not like that. That's the Alamode, I guess. I guess so. Well, my house is not like that.

My house is like, like my fridge is basically, I don't know, like 70% beers. And I can't even commit to six packs. I like to buy all singles. I have like a good selection, you know, everything from like a dungle, stout, IPAs, light beers. And then it's like 30%. I said 70%, right? 70%. And then the other 30% is all condiments. It's basically like 12 hot sauces, some ranch, and funky mustards.

Like not funky bad funky, but like, you know, like hot mustards. No, no. Yeah. Like the good funky. Yeah. Like Marky Mark and the funky bunch. I'm sure that's what he meant. He was going for a mustard vibe with that band.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Very cool. Now, you know, I did a little homework, which's awesome. Yeah, very cool. Now, you know, I did a little homework, which I do when guests are coming over

and I learned you have an AOL.com email address that you like use in official documentation.

I do. Well, first of all, I mean, who didn't love You've Got Mail, right? We need to keep these Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan rom-coms alive and well via our email addresses.

But yeah, I do. Does it still say that when you get a message? Does it say You've Got Mail? I think it does. But usually it's like my computer is always kind of muted. But you know what the fun part is? It's like, you know, sometimes you get locked out of an email account, then you have to like phone the company.

Well, if you have to phone AOL, it's the fastest service you'll ever get in your life because I'm probably the only one still using it. So they fixed me up like that. I've had to call them twice in the last... I don't know, I've had that account for like 11 years. It's a good service at AOL. I think they're going to make a comeback. That's funny.

Remember when they thought MySpace was going to make a comeback? Yeah, it didn't. Didn't just in Timberlake. Yeah, just in Timberlake, I think. Yeah, man. Yeah. Anyways, I miss my MySpace account. Sometimes I'll create people on MySpace

and ask them to be my friend, even though it's like nobody's using it. But I think it's funny. You know, I actually managed to skip the MySpace thing. Like I don't think I ever had. I never had an MySpace account. You didn't? I just skipped it.

I miss it, man. We had the top eight where you actually like had to rank your friends. Remember? Like who was in your top eight? That was stressful. Your friends would get mad. Why am I not in your top eight?

At least Facebook doesn't have that, right? There's no like favorites. No, that's amazing that you had to do that. I don't know the MySpace stuff. And if you didn't have a top eight, I mean, like Tom would just like put himself in there.

He was like the founder. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Tom guy. Tom was automatically in your top eight. That's funny. And then I think it was very eight. I mean, like Tom would just like put himself in there. He was like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The Tom guy. Tom was automatically in your top eight. That's funny. And then I think it was very random because I'd be like, how's that person in my top eight? And then I'd like to like make sure that,

you know, like, I don't, nevermind. I was going to say something inappropriate, but whatever. No, I get right off the bat because we're going to go into some subjects like this.

I can tell you this is marked explicit in iTunes. Really? So you can like swear. Okay. And you could be inappropriate. The cool thing about me is I don't even really swear a lot, but sometimes it's the content is so honest that it's inappropriate or it's so inappropriately honest. I don't know something like that. But yeah. And we're going to get it because we're going to get into your Tinder blog and some things like that. It's a really fun blog. It's, yeah.

And I love it. Like, I love it because it's so honest. Like, it's just refreshingly out there. Like, it's just warts and all. You know, that's how I am, Anne. I think there's enough dates from hell blogs out there. And sometimes I can go on a date and realize that I might be the date from hell.

So I like to be honest and self-deprecating and show everything, but also like have a positive outlook on the being single world. Cause I like being single. I don't think people should be ashamed of it or scared of it. I think too many people stay in toxic relationships cause they're scared of being single. No, I bet you you're right.

Absolutely. So I do want to get into that and I want to get into, uh, you're right. Absolutely. So I do want to get into that. And I want to talk about the Canadian landscape for comedians trying to make it, if you will. And you're going to give me the honest, raw truth about that. Of course. But before, I just want to start with the, really briefly, because I know it's a little bit older news, and you probably talked about it so that you're sick of it, but the Casino Niagara heckling incident. I know.

You know, the weird part about that incident is, like, that is the first time I ever, like, wrote something that went viral. And I don't know if you've ever gone viral before, but it's actually very terrifying. Like, all of a sudden, like, your words, your name, your face, everything's getting all these hits, and people are, like, coming at you from every direction, like on Twitter, on Facebook. And it's actually over like so it's kind of scary.

But I'm really happy that I did stand up for myself. Yeah. And I have I mean, I've talked about it lots of times, but yeah, I did get heckled. Shows your tits, shows your tits, shows your tits. And then later my side shows your bush, shows your bush, shows your bush. I can't even say those words. So in a weird way, I'm like, wow, those hecklers to be that drunk and to still pronunciate all the shows and bushes together. I feel like, I mean. And to make the assumption you have a bush. Well, there were a lot of jokes about skipping waxes before that. So I kind of get why.

Okay. But yeah, and there were so many rules at that comedy club. Like don't talk back to hecklers. Don't talk to the staff from stage. Leave the casino immediately when you're done your set. No alcohol. Don't stay overnight. Like there's like so many crazy rules.

And you just go down there because you're like, oh, well, I need to make $125 tonight. And so, um, yeah. And so that incident happened and I said something to the woman after the show, cause it's like, if I can't police the room, then the manager should. Plus they were so hammered. I have my smart serve. Okay. I'm a good bartender. I know for sure those people should have been cut off, but of course they don't want to cut people off. They want people to be hammered. Then they go in the casino and they spend all their money and the casino makes all their money. Also, in a comedy club, obviously,

in a casino, it doesn't always bring the biggest comedy fans out there. Sometimes it's like people who have lost thousands of dollars and then the casino goes, oh, here, but go see a comedy show for free. Yeah, they're not in the mood to laugh. I'm not going to lie. I can be funny, but I don't think I can make up for the 10 grand you lost.

I don't think I can make that better. And so this basically standing up for yourself cost you future gigs. Yeah, well, then I went back on the Friday and the Saturday and I finished my weekend that weekend. But I swear to God, and I hate saying the term I killed. I really don't like it.

But I did great. It was like totally good. So I was like, okay. Like I just thought it was water under the bridge. And then I got rebooked for the club like six months later because we're all on a rotation. Like anybody who works for Yuck Yucks. And then they pulled me from the weekend. They're like, oh, they don't want you back because of that night with you and Darren Frost and the unruly audience.

I was like, just to be clear here, I'm getting fired because I got heckled. Shows your tits, shows your butt. And I said something to the manager. She goes, yeah, sorry. And then I was like, well, I guess that's what I get for standing up for myself. And then I messaged the other people that were on the show with me that night.

I'm like, this is wrong, right? And they're like, of course it's wrong. And then I wrote a blog and then it went viral. And then I was in Jezebel and XOJ.com and all this all these news things the Globe and Mail and it was it was weird it was really weird and now whenever

someone Googles your name it's like the first thing that pops up yeah I know it's like your claim to fame I know but it's sad because I don't want to be like identified with controversy or with you know what I mean like I'd rather I don't know associate my like identified with controversy or with, you know what I mean? Like I'd rather, I don't know,

associate my name with something that's positive. Like, I don't know, but that was, that was crazy. That was alarming. Um, but yeah,

you don't know. Like, I mean, it's so funny because now in our industry, like people like we go on pitch meetings for like TV shows or anything. People are like, show us your metrics. Like they're like,

we want you to go viral. Like people want you to go viral. They're like, go make one of those, like go make one of those viral video thingies. Like, like it's that easy. Cause it's like, you can't control what goes viral. Who's the woman who just did the, who did the video about fat shaming or something?

Oh, that's Nicole Larber. Okay. So is that the kind of thing now in comedy you kind of have to do with something like that? I mean, there's like a better chance of you, yeah, getting a TV show if you have like a bajillion subscribers or hits on your YouTube page than there is if you're just a really like intelligent writer that can like, you know, make an amazing story.

Like it's kind of sad, but yeah, it's kind of veering that way now where it's like, yeah, you need followers if you want to be famous, like being a good writer is not good enough anymore. Right. So, cause Nicole Arbor, whatever we, we all now know her name and we, although I couldn't remember her name, but you know, but that was, you know, because she made the video and it went viral. Yeah. I don't know if that was her intention was, you know, because she made the video and it went viral. Yeah. I don't know if that was her intention was if she, cause I think she already has such a following that she probably knew that it would get lots of hits cause she's been like

doing the YouTube thing for a long time now. So I don't know if it was her intention to do something that would really rattle everybody or if, or if it was just kind of random because you really, like I said, you don't, you don't really know. Like my friend Jen had a similar incident to mine where Jen Grant, she went through a whole like weird, creepy experience as a comic on stage

getting sexually harassed and it was a corporate gig. So like the rules there are really tense too because you have to be super clean and you're not supposed to, I don't know, it's just a different kind of environment. Like she's hired because she can do like 45 minutes

of like super squeaky clean material. So for this guy to be like saying how he wants to fuck her, you know, from his table at this golf course in Mississauga, it's like, anyways, but you know, similar thing, like she stood up for herself and wrote that thing and then that went viral. So it's like, I think think that i don't know i it's i think that when when the issue is a hot topic like something like that because i definitely work in a in an industry where sexual harassment is

like it's i don't know it's it's not as easy to handle because i'm kind of my own employee of my own business right and it's do you know what I mean? Like at the casino, I got heckled and like, who's like the manager could have done something. Like I'm still getting sexually harassed at work. And then for Jen, it's like,

well, she's all by herself at this corporate gig. Like there's no other comics. Like, like who disciplines that person? Do you know what I mean? Is this like the last bastion where it's almost acceptable, like socially acceptable?

Well, I do think that like sometimes people, yeah, I don't know. I just wonder why do people think they can do that just because you're on stage trying to make them laugh? I know. I know. I mean, I get it. Everybody probably thinks we all have thick skin because we're comedians. We go on stage and we don't give a shit and we just tell the truth. But yeah, I mean, with things like that like i i actually wrote a blog about this where i just try to explain the difference between heckling and sexual harassment because heckling is like you suck good off the stage or whatever you'll you know um and then sexual harassment's like all the things

i do to you you know what i mean it's like it's it's it's just different. It's creepy. And sexual harassment is not nearly as funny. I know. That's a good heckle. Now, on a brighter side, you had a Comedy Now special on CTV. Yeah, I have a Comedy Now special. I've done a lot of cool things in Canada. I've done Just for Laughs.

I've done the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. I've done my Comedy Now special. I've done a bunch of CBC's The Debaters, which I love that show. If you guys obviously were listening to, or people are listening to us right now, so you obviously like podcasts and radio stuff, but CBC's The Debaters is so fun.

It's such a good show to do. And it's legit super funny. I listen to, I have an app, the CBC radio app on my phone. And then when I go biking, I usually listen to something. And that's one of the shows I'll listen to. See, that scares me. You ride your bike and you listen to, you have your headphones on? Yeah, I have. But they're not, they allow in ambient sound.

Like, is that the term, ambient sound? So, like, I can hear cars and I can hear honking. Oh, wow. Because whenever I see people riding their bike and they like have headphones on and they're not wearing a helmet, I get really scared. But I do wear a helmet. Okay, that's good. For sure. Every time. Especially on rainy days like this. For sure, man. For sure.

And on icy days, because I actually will fall off my bike in the winter. Oh, man. Yeah. So I always wear a helmet. Yeah. Well, that's good. Thank you. And I do listen.

Like I said, there's a number of shows. It's called My Radio where you pick your favorite shows on the CBC radio app and then I just press and listen. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. The Debaters is great. The Debaters is the best. I always like spreading the good word of the debaters.

Cool. Now the comedy now special. Uh, so how does that come about? Like, do they, how, like,

how do you get your own comedy now special on C2? Well, sadly, it's a, another one of our Canadian shows that have been canceled. Um, so I think it went off the air maybe two years ago. I swear to God, it wasn't my season that did it. Um, but yeah, it went off the air maybe two years ago. I swear to

God, it wasn't my season that did it. Um, but yeah, I know. I mean, it was just really simple. You'd showcase a couple of times and show them you had, you know, either you could do a half an hour or an hour. Um, and then you'd get your special and it reruns all the time in the middle of the night. I mean, every time you watch like comedy network, um, or like CTV two or whatever, often you could see them rerunning. Um, but yeah, it was like one of the best nights of the night. I mean, every time you watch like Comedy Network or like CTV2 or whatever, often you could see them rerunning. But yeah, it was like one of the

best nights of my life. We shot it at Masonic Temple, which again has now been sold and is getting turned into condos. It's sad that like so many of these great memories

I have in Toronto are all like cancelled or turning into condos. Well, everything eventually will be in, will be condos in Toronto. Yeah.

Eventually. Yeah, that's it, man. We're all going to be in, will be condos in Toronto. Yeah. Eventually. Yeah. That's it, man. We're all going to be drinking at home. Yeah. The Masonic temple is like, is it,

it was six, six, six. Is that what, was that the address or what was it? Uh, anyway, I had a,

something like that. I can't remember. Yeah. Young and Davenport. It was a powerful night. It was really good. The Bullard show was from the Masonic Temple, wasn't it? I think so, yeah.

That was kind of out of my time or before my time. Yeah, but I think that, yeah, I think they shot that there too. Somebody on Twitter was talking about, what did they tweet at us yesterday? Oh, they tweeted it with a laugh track. So tell me, like, so what's that about? I mean, I think always some Canadian shows, yeah, they don't mic the audience. Because I can promise you, in the moment, it felt powerful and felt great.

I mean, the real bust is if you can hear a laugh track, but you can see the crowd in the shot and they're not laughing, then you know it's a real bust. But if they're just kind of laugh tracking over people that are already laughing, I feel like it's a little passable. But yeah, I think a lot of them do use laugh tracks and like, and it's, but it's even worse if they don't mic the audience. Cause then

it's like, I've had great experiences being on TV where I'm like, it felt so good when we taped it. And then I see it on TV and I'm like, Oh God, did they not like the audience? Like I was telling you, like after this one thing aired and I got like Facebook messages, people were like, Oh, tough crowd. And I was like, no, it was such a good crowd. And they even like panned to this guy. It wasn't during my set. It was during somebody else's set on the show.

And, uh, and he was yawning and I was like, why would you put a yawn on this episode? Like, you're just making your brand. That's funny. I know.

I was just like, Oh, see, and is it fair to say that like the American productions wouldn't have the guy yawning during the comedies? Is that a Canadian thing? I don't know whose thing it is. It just seems like a dumb thing.

I don't know why anybody would do it, but I don't know. Maybe it's just people carelessly trying to get by. I don't know. It's like, let's get this done. That's funny. And you put out an album? I did. It's called It's Taking a Long Time to Become Famous.

Because it is. So how long, just out of curiosity, how long have you been trying to become famous? Let's go with like 15 years. Yeah, that's a long time. You should be famous by now. I know. I think so too. Although I've heard of you and asked you to come on because you're getting there, I think.

I feel like I'm getting there. I feel like it's still Canadian show business and I get good things come every once in a while. You get your festivals and you get your tapings and you get the odd writing job and you get your club work. Um, and then I started producing, um, my own show with Jen Grant called my jokes are up here. And that's a show with,

um, her and I and Erica Sigurdsson and Rebecca Kohler. And we're doing that, um, across Canada. Like our next show will be, um, in February in Winnipeg,

which is exciting. Um, but yeah, just kind of like like there's nowhere better to be like i feel like as a comedian i know i feel like as a comedian i have like six different incomes like there's some money coming from here and from there and from there and from there and i don't know like maybe d-list celebrity in canada i don't know what i would be but some people know me and some people don't and that's fine. Whatever.

Yeah. But is there like, okay, so, but okay. So let me ask you, you're trying to make this your career, right? And you mentioned, um, it's taken a long time and you have, you know, diversified your income so that you can afford your, your beer. I can afford my life. Yeah. Yeah. So, but at some point beer and So, but at some point. Mostly beer and slippers. At some point, if you haven't made it, is there like an age where you. Do you give up? Yeah.

Yes. I mean, I feel like as a woman, I have an expiration date, much like my eggs. Like it's very weird that it's probably the same age too. Whereas like when my eggs die, so do my shot, I become famous. So anyways, I'm at some critical years right now. You've got some, yeah, I don't, and I won't even, I mean, I don't know. I wasn't going to ask your age because you don't ask. I always say I'm closer to 30 than 20. You're closer to 30 than 20. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Me too. Exactly. You see how you can play with that. So, okay. So

the eggs thing we'll get into later like we'll tie that into the tinder blog we'll get into the eggs thing don't worry that's not why i'm on tinder i'm not trying to fertilize my body no exactly um so the making it like so do you do you keep plotting along and what is making it in canada like i'm trying i know canada and u.s are very different like landscapes when it comes to like, uh, good comedians making it. I mean, a lot of people do move to the States. Obviously I just got my papers. I'm planning on moving in January. Oh wow. Yeah. And I mean, I'm happy with like just a level, like I really like writing. That's my passion. I'm very happy just to like

get a writing job. Do you stand up, right? turn my blog into a book, which I'm working on doing right now. And I've already had my blog option to be a show like, like literally three six month periods. But like then it's like some, like it's never been made though. It's just like somebody has the option, the rights to it. And then it never, it just never came to fruition. Do you make any money when somebody has an option on something? Yeah.

See, you're talking to a non-comic. Oh so you still make money off that but still i don't want to make money i want to make stuff i mean i want to make money too but i want to make product like i want to make yeah you want someone to pick up the option or whatever and do it like put it yep yeah and that's a blog which we'll get in get get is, was actually, let's get to it right now. What the hell? So tell me why you started my week on Tinder. Yeah. Well, I mean, obviously when I joined Tinder, I didn't start with like the intention of having a blog. I was going to ask which came first, I feel like I'm very capable of having like a fling. But I don't have flings in the city I live in. And I don't know if it's because I have so many great friends or if I'm busy or if I like legitimately love doing nothing so much.

Like, you know, but I was like, oh, like, how come I never like have flings in the city I live in? Because I don't want a boyfriend. I'm not like I don't want to get married and stuff like that. But obviously, like, I'm not like dead between the legs. So I'm like, I should, you know, go out and have fun and not worry about things. So I joined Tinder. Of course I didn't even know it was hookup app. This was like two and a half years ago. And it was just like, like hot or not meets grinder for straight people. So I joined Tinder and then it wasn't until I was like five dates in that I was like, why am I not writing about this? And then that's why it's called my week on Tinder. Cause I was just going to post

a week of it. And then people were writing to me saying, keep going. And so I was like, okay, well then I'll go on 50 first dates. Cause it has a ring to it, like the movie. And then I remember being like 18 dates and being like, oh my God, I don't want to do this anymore. But I just kept going and I got super interesting. And the premise basically is like you document these Tinder dates. Yeah. Like on the blog. Yeah, man. And I'm not mean. I'm not... Like I said, it's not a dates from hell blog. There are the occasional one that is really weird. But most of them are really insightful and

interesting. And I learn something on every date. I'm not a mean. Like some guys were like, I want to go out with you, but I don't want you to blog about me. I'm like, no problem. And then I'll be on the date with them. And they'll be like, but if you were going to blog about me, like what would you say? That's right. I think they all want to be blogged about.

A lot of us do. No, it's funny. I have a date tomorrow night. And like, I already like, he's already obviously read a bunch of them. So I think he's like ready for it. I don't know. He's, I don't know.

Yeah. So, I mean, often, I guess these guys have no idea that you're blogging it. But sometimes I guess they do. Like, is that just like, everybody's googling your name? Or is it just Yeah, everybody Googles before a date now. It's I don't know. Yeah, that that's just what happens. We're living in a different time now. Because. We get Googled before a date. I recently read. So you went on vacation with your family. Yes.

And like this is all like. And people have to seek this out. It's called my week on Tinder. And you got to read this. Because it's very explicit. And real. And like just fascinating to. Yeah. fascinating to peer in behind the curtain. It's true.

Well, I still feel like at the end of it, I'm a pretty normal girl. And I have lots of insecurities about my body that a lot of other girls have. And so that really comes out in my mind as I have sexual encounters. So it's a fun, it's a fun like mesh of like actual real sex, but like that kind of like neurotic, oh my God, like I need to shave 8,000 things on my body right now kind of worries. Yeah, that was what I, yeah, I remember reading that was what I remember reading from the recent, like I said, picking up while you're picking up. Is it picking up? I guess it's Tinder thing.

But while you're on vacation, if your family was like, you could have apologizing that you weren't expecting for this to happen. Therefore, you hadn't maintained. Yeah. Guys don't care, though. They're really forgiving about that. No, I can imagine. You know, the whole Tinder thing facet. First of all, I never, No, I can imagine. Yeah. You know, the whole Tinder thing facet,

and the first one I never, like I missed Tinder. Like I, I was, I've never downloaded Tinder or been on Tinder and it's to me, it's, it's absolutely fascinating. The whole premise, I have a friend, our mutual friend, Humble Howard, cause you've been on Humble and Friends show. Yeah, man. And Humble talks to me all the time about his Tinder, I'm going to say it, Tinder fuck rampage. Has he been on Tinder? He's on it. How did I not know that? Well, he had a long-term relationship that ended,

and then he went on Tinder, but he's been like super active there the past year. Wow. He's on there. You could be Tindering with Howard. It's funny. Now all of a sudden, it happened in Maui, but sometimes I feel like we're all glued to our phones

so hardcore right now that we've almost shunned out real-life encounters with people because that Maui thing, that was literally something that happened in real life. That guy's never online dated a date in his life. And then even, yeah, there's been some encounters that haven't come through Tinder now. Oh, right, right,

right. Where it's like, I'm kind of going back to, to old school and I'm like, Oh yeah, I remember meeting somebody in real life and like thinking they're cute and then figuring out a way to like get in the same room as them. But you know what I mean?

Well, that's the thing. So, so Tinder to me is fantastic if the objective is to have like a fun time. Yeah, it's definitely, you know what I mean? Well, that's the thing. So, so Tinder to me is fantastic if the objective is to have like a fun time. Yeah. It's definitely, you know what I mean? That's why another reason I don't, like I never, when I first started doing this where I didn't feel too like guilty for like exploiting my dates basically is because Tinder is like a hookup app. Like, I mean, there's a lot of guys that are just exploiting women for sex. Yeah. So, but it's not exploiting if you're all

on the same page. Exactly. And I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Like I'm not like, Hey, look at me. Uh, I like this and this and this,

and I want these things. It's just like, like my tagline literally reads, you could do worse. That's funny. That's it, man. Just,

it's nice, short, simple. There's a bunch of pictures. The pictures definitely show that I'm a comedian. So people, you know, would, would know that I'm in the entertainment business somehow. But there's some like cute, normal, real life pictures too.

What happens though if you have feelings for a Tinder date? People always ask that. Because this is what happens when people have like plans. Like my plan is to not have a committed relationship, but to have fun with many different interesting people like that's the plan there but for the mice what my some mice and men thing there and bang you're falling for some guy well the interesting thing about me being on having gone on like 80 tinder dates now um it's like for me it's really hard for me to understand like my heartbroken friend

who's just broken up with this guy and she can't get over him. Okay. This is like a real girl. She can't get over it. Okay. It's been like two months they've been done. They've been broken up and she still calls me crying some nights and I'm like, I don't get it because I've been on a bajillion dates.

So I know that there's lots of good people out there like tons and so for people that to like not be able to get over their heartbreak like I mean that's the one thing I'd like to to show off about my blog be like oh my god like you can bounce back you can go and date and even if it's weird it's fun you know but uh there are a lot more great people out there and it's just so interesting. I think that 20 years ago, there was this wave of women who were 35 being scared, like all the good ones are taken or messed up or whatever. But now, let me see.

There's a turnover now. Now there's lots of 37-year-old guys that are recently single again because these marriages are falling apart like every day. And there's like a, there's a second wave of like cool single guys. Like, like the last two guys I've gotten together with are both divorced. And so it's kind of fun because I feel like I'm not like,

I'm not looking for a relationship and I doubt that they would be either, but we're all like cool and normal and we have interesting life experiences. And yeah, it's kind of nice because you're not looking for a relationship it's less relevant that most of those newly single 37 year old guys have kids right because like who cares you're not yeah it's like well it doesn't matter it's it's fine right we're all human beings we can i was you know i was a newly single 37 year old with two kids just i was right this is past. Right? And I'm sure it doesn't matter.

I'm sure when somebody likes you, they like you, and it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter. That's correct. Yeah. I mean, I like kids, obviously. I have two nieces.

They're adorable. Yeah. But the nice thing about nieces is you kind of have fun with them and enjoy them and then throw them back. I know. Well, then, yeah.

Then that's it. All the hard work goes to their parents. Not to get all like Dr. Joyce Brothers on you or whatever. Dr. who? I don't even know who those people are. Dr. Joyce Brothers? I don't know who that is. Did I just date myself with that one?

I think so. That is a throwback. I don't even think, I think she's long dead actually. Oh, no. It was like a Phil Donahue type um therapist relationship therapist now i'm trying to think of some weird what about shirley was there some old shirley no shirley she had glasses no was there shirley like a canadian doctor yes there was and i think abc was gonna camilla no before her there was a shirley abc was going to pick up the show because

she was like j Jesse Raphael. Yeah, she's still going, I think. Okay. Okay. But you're thinking like Dr. Phil, right? Modern- Yeah, sure. Okay, Dr. Phil.

Fine, ignore- Come on. First of all, I know you're younger than me, but you're so young, Dr. Joyce Brothers doesn't mean anything to you? No, man. Wow.

Okay, so let me- So you're not looking for a relationship, but do you have any like, uh, Oh, I have some favorites. Let's talk to ourselves. Let's bring my space back and see who's in my top eight. It's funny. I was going to ask you like on the Tinder blog, uh, I'll get to that one here, like your favorite story, but.

Oh yeah. Well, I do. There's some guys that are but like i said i'm telling you because i i often have some of my best flings on vacation so it's so nice because it's so contained you go and you have this like epic fling and it's amazing and then you go back to your real life and you can't really worry but where's that going anymore because i've already done like at 23 i did the whole oh i'm gonna move across the continent for a guy i met in a night club in las vegas who convinced me i was his soulmate like i've already done that been there done that yeah i'm not doing that again i'm not gonna be like okay so i have to move across the continent for a guy I met in a nightclub in Las Vegas who convinced me I was his soulmate. Like, I've already done that.

You've been there, done that. Yeah, I'm not doing that again. I'm not going to be like, okay, so I have to move to Maui because obviously this is the one. Yeah, no, I can't do that. As much as I like Maui, I can't see myself living there. But you're getting papers. I know.

So where are you moving to the States? I want to move to LA. I know it's hacky, but I need to live somewhere warm. You got to go where the work is. Somewhere where I can pursue some jobs. Yeah, man. That's what I need to do. I mean, most people in your position do end up going to LA and making a go of it. Yeah, man. You got to go for it. Especially if the clock is going to expire at some point. Exactly. Yeah, it's true. My career and my eggs died the same year, I'm pretty sure.

And do you care if your eggs died like do you have any like maternal instinct you're gonna freeze these things or are you gonna not care no i don't think so i think it's fine if you need to borrow a kid let me know happily lend you exactly i'll just borrow other people's kids when i need to be around them and do you ever think at some point you'll want to like, I don't know, have that same person that you wake up beside every morning and, you know, your permanent movie date, if you will, who you go for long walks with on Sundays? I have no idea. I mean, a permanent Netflix and chill guy? Yes, that's right.

I have no idea. Permanent Netflix and chill guy. I have no idea. I like to keep my expectations low in life. That way it's just like, oh, anything good is a pleasant surprise. Under promise, over deliver. Right. That's the secret to happiness.

That is the secret to happiness, man. That's the secret to happiness. Absolutely. So what is, do you want to share with me and share with everybody one of your favorite stories from the two of you? Well, I loved the Maui date. The Maui date was awesome. And that ended up being a three-blog series.

A trilogy, if you will. Right. You can go, you can read all my blogs. They're at walkinsauce.tumblr.com. But yeah, I mean, there were some sweet times. I did like the Maui guy. He was really sweet. But, you know, again, like I just,

I always fall with the impossible ones, with the ones that you actually can't have. That's when I like to fall. But do you think you're doing that intentionally? I don't know. It could be something wrong with my brain. Yeah, I could be a Dr. Phil fixer-upper. I would say it's like pushing them,

making sure you push them away before they can kind of walk away, if you will. It's like a self-preservation. Maybe. Well, I actually do like living by myself though. Like I, I like, I love coming home like after a day of whatever and just like, I like the peace and quiet, you know, I like, like sadly if anything's messy, I like, okay, it's mine. It's nobody else's. Do you know what I mean? Nobody to blame for any disaster in your apartment. Like

all those mascara marks in the towels are mine. You can eat ice cream straight from the thing. You know, if there's wine at home, it's going to be there when you get home because nobody else lives there to drink it. That's right. That's a big one for me. Sometimes the beer flies out of the apartment when you're living with men. And if you have what you said before, if your body needs a release, you can go on your app. Oh, okay.

That kind of release. I thought you mean, oh yeah, gas. Yeah, you let it out. That's amazing. That's another bonus. Being gassy and living by yourself. It's amazing. It's all those mustards. All the funky mustards. What gave you the idea to start the Tinder blog? It was literally after I went on five dates where I was like, because the first guy got like super drunk on the date, right? Which was interesting because anybody who could drink more than me is quite the champion. And then the second guy was just a little too young for me.

And so I said to my friend. What's too young? I think he was like... 17? Six or seven years younger than me. Which isn't even that bad. I'm married to a chick seven years younger and I, which isn't even that bad. I'm married to a chick, uh, seven years younger.

And I don't even, I know my last boyfriend was five years younger than me. And I didn't think that was a big deal. It's not a big deal. Um, but yeah, anyway, so then I gave that one up and then the third guy I'd like lunch with on a

Monday and he was like super high on cocaine, which I kind of found funny. And then he ordered chicken fingers, like never ate them. And it drove me nuts cause I had a salad and I was like really wanting those chicken fingers. But anyways, that was interesting. The fourth guy, like literally I meet him at like a bar on King West and he is like getting weird messages on his phone, like from a phone number, but not from like a name. You know when people like don't save numbers. So I'm like,

that's weird. And then I'm like, if that's another Tinder girl, like you could totally write her back. Like, I don't care. Like we're all playing on this Tinder app together. Yeah. It's a, it's a singles playground. I don't doubt you have like another 80 girls in your box or you're like talking to. And he's like, no, it's not. It's not. And then I was like, okay.

I was like, it's just fine. Go ahead. Like you can text back. I really don't care. It's totally fine. And then he's like, no, it's kind of my boss. And this is like 11 o'clock at night. I was like, your boss?

He's like, yeah, I got to go drop money off to Pizza Pizza at like midnight. He's like, do you want to come with me? And I was like, no. I was like, I think that's probably a drug deal. Anyways. That's funny. So it was fun to be on a drug deal. And then I get on my date number five

and I tell him all this stuff. And then I'm like, oh my God. You know, I tell him what my other four dates have been like. And then he just looks at me and he goes, my name's not really Tom. I made it up. I made up a fake Gmail account to get a fake Facebook account, made up a fake name and got Tinder.

He's like, I was going to delete the app until you came along. And I was like, hilarious. And then I was like, that was the moment where I was like, why am I not writing about this? Yeah. But now do you feel you have to continue going on the dates just for the material? Sometimes. I crash and burn. Like, is it a job now?

Kind of. But I still crash sometimes where I'm like, I don't feel like dating this week. And I'm not going to blog this week. And it's bad because, of course, like, you know, if you really want to keep up a following with something like that, you kind of have to be committed to it. Like, you're obviously committed to your podcast. Sadly, I feel like I'm not going to committing to anything, everything, right? Like guys, a six pack of beer. I told you I'm all singles. I'm like my blog.

Dr. Joyce Brothers would have a field day with you. Oh my God, I know. Just commitment phobia. I know. It's great though. I like my freedom. I'm a Sagittarius. I blame my sign sometimes. It can't just be me. I think there's a lot of Sagittarius out there like me. Don't get me started on that sign nonsense. Nonsense. It's genius. Proven. You were born at this month, therefore you have these attributes. I tell you, I just look for patterns in life. I look at the people that I'm close with and I look at the relationships I've had and it's very weird. You can find a lot of patterns.

I'm always like, why all the Aries? Why all the Aquariuses? Like always. It's very interesting. The, I was going to ask you about the Tinder blog. And basically, is it all 100% true? Is there fabrication anywhere? You can tell me.

Like people still enjoy it if there's a little... No, but I would say this. I've hidden a few facts. Like if I think that they're... Like if I don't have to go there, I don't expose certain things. Omitting facts is okay. It's when you invent facts.

Because like some stories I think have been so beautiful, but it's like, oh, but I know you were like high on blow for the whole date, but that ruins the story. I'll hide things like that sometimes. I'll hide if I'm maybe seriously not physically attracted to them.

Oh, because you know they're going to read it? And you don't want to hurt their feelings? Yeah. I don't want to hurt people's feelings. Good. Okay. Yeah. No. I am too nice to, I'm too nice for the internet. I think people are supposed to be mean on the internet and I'm not good at that. I'm like, no. So I do omit facts sometimes.

In fact, sometimes I don't even date, sorry, I don't even blog about certain dates because I just think that the person's like, it's just, I don't want to. I'm like, no, that person's like, seriously, probably a little, a little... Miswired? Yeah, yeah. And I don't want to be the catalyst for them going off the edge. Not like that, but when you meet that person

who's a little unstable or whatever, and then you don't want to poke the bear, just in case the bear bites you. Yeah, I mean, I'm lucky I've been on this many internet dates and I haven't been murdered yet. So I'm not going to push my luck. Do you know what I mean? When we have our first Tinder murder,

that's going to be a big news story. You know, I know. Well, we're starting to get a lot of Uber stories. Yeah, there are some. But I'm sure there have been Tinder ones because trust me, anytime there's any Tinder-related news, there's seven different people put the link on my Facebook wall. But the nice thing about Tinder is it does link everybody through Facebook.

So you see mutual friends. You could easily stalk these people online if you wanted to. You know what I mean? Even the last guy, the guy I'm going out with tomorrow night, he's already looked me up. He knows who I am from doing comedy at Spirits. So what do you know about this guy you're going out with tomorrow night? Not that much, just that he used to work at Spirits, and that's how he's already looked me up like he knows who I am from doing comedy at Spirits so what do you know about this guy you're going out with tomorrow night

like he just not that much just that he used to work at Spirits and that's how he knows me so that's a restaurant

yeah it's a bar that has comedy night every Wednesday it's really fun Bloor and Church oh yeah it's a great comedy night it's always free

not far from the Masonic Temple that's right man it's a good time I used to live at Charles Street in Yonge that's a fun location yeah yeah man a good time. I used to live at Charles Street in Yonge. That's a fun location.

A long time ago. That's back when they had the Uptown Theater. Do you remember the Uptown Theater? See, no Joyce Brothers are up there. Joyce Brothers, by the way, aren't brothers. It's like that's the chick's last name, is Brothers. So it's like Joyce is the first name and Brothers is the last name.

Oh, no. I was picturing Joyce like two brothers, like the Sklar brothers. Of course you are because you're planning another Tinder date there. You kept mentioning the guy who's high on blow. And I just real quick story. So yesterday I went to my daughter's football game, which is not tackle before you think that it's touch football. But I'm at it. And there's two other moms there and they're talking away.

And then I get pulled into the convo and one of them says that Coke is making a comeback. I think so. Yeah. Like she's hearing or she's seen or hearing, I don't know, both maybe that the cocaine is showing up. So yeah. Have you noticed cocaine making a comeback? For sure.

I don't do it. I've done it. Obviously. I'm not. Obviously. I wasn't even assuming that by the way. Oh it. I've done it, obviously. I'm not... Obviously. I wasn't even assuming that, by the way. Oh, no, I've done it. It was kind of a running joke inside my circle of friends. Because the only time I ever, ever do it is on my birthday. Because here's my theory. I don't think that anybody can accept all of the free drinks that you get from your friends on your birthday

and like stay awake unless you were to do a bump like it's actually physically impossible to accept all those free drinks gotcha um and so it used to be a running joke where like uh like every like i would do it on my birthday and everybody knew i did it on my birthday it was just like impossible not to but i haven't since it's been years since i've played that birthday game but that's why it's always really fun when we're out or like we're doing a comedy show and somebody's on stage and it's like, so if anybody's celebrating a birthday and then, oh no,

it's not for everybody's birthday, only my birthday. But yeah, so anyways. But I do think it's making a comeback and I just think that maybe it's because people are tired. It's true. It's not that great of a drug. It's just like it just wakes you up. I think all it does

is it wakes you up and sometimes it makes you have to poo I probably just got a really bad dealer I don't know no I gotta confess I've never done it

it's fine I've never done it but normally I have high energy like yeah today I usually

have too much energy and I have to do things to like calm down and go slow down like I would need like the opposite of cocaine yeah no I'm the same way much energy and I have to do things to like calm down and go to slow down. Like I would need like the opposite of cocaine.

Yeah. No, I'm the same way. I need the depressants cause I'm, I'm a pretty energetic person. That's why I like, you know, some wine at the end of the day. I'm definitely not trying to stay awake.

I don't need that. Only like I said, only on your birthday. I can't accept fucking 12 drinks. Everyone deserves a little. I hear Justin Trudeau is going to legalize birthday Coke. Like he's going to, there's going to be a Coke exception. That's okay.

That's when you're allowed to be caught with blow on you if it's your birthday. And they just have to prove to the cops with your ID that this is your birthday. And then that's, it's all good. Exactly. That's it. You, uh, so you mentioned, uh, you're a waitress. Oh yeah. I still serve.

So you're serving, uh, because you need to afford the beer and the mustard and the rent. I mean, it's definitely, that's the struggle is real. Now I want to dive into the struggle, particularly because since you just got your papers and you haven't left for LA yet. So I want to hear like from a Canadian perspective, like the struggle.

Yeah. Well, I'm also a really bad business person. I'm sure with my blog, I could have monetized that. And I could have advertising on that and on my website and on my YouTube page. And I could be making more money if I tried a little harder. But I'm just not very organized. And Waiting Tables is a really fast cash grab. I only do it a few weeks. I get to

pick when I work, which is really lucky because I've been there for a long time. And to be honest, there's a lot of months where I don't need to do it. I'm fine and I have enough money. But right now I'm trying to save the maximum amount of money. So I'm working as much as I can, both doing comedy. Obviously, comedy pays better than the waiting the tables, which is nice. Because when you first start doing comedy, it will be the opposite. Right, because I was going to say it's not that obvious. No, yeah. I mean, just for instance...

Assume we know nothing. You guys don't know how much a comedian gets paid. Let me just show you, okay? So there's a lot of shows where you make no money, okay? No money. Sometimes you get like two drink tickets, okay? So you got your drink ticket shows where you're like, okay, I'm not going to make any money, but I'm going to get like two beers. Okay. Then you have your like entry level club guest spots. Those don't pay

either, but you get two half price drinks. So then I guess that's something. And then you have your, your kind of guest, uh, then you move on to a split middle level where you can make $40 a show. then you move on to a split middle level where you can make $40 a show. Most of the comedy clubs across Canada, maybe some of them have two shows a weekend. Some of them have five shows a weekend. Um, like the absolute in Toronto and Ottawa, I think they have like Wednesday,

Thursday, two Friday, two Saturday and a Sunday. Most of the yuck yucks are like one Thursday. Oh, they have Friday, Wednesday, Thursday.

They don't pay the comics. Only the headliner makes money and the host, all the other comics are doing unpaid spots so there's like seven comics no money and then the Friday the host gets paid the guest spot doesn't the two middles get $40 each and then the headliner

will get whatever their rate is a headlining rate starts at like $135 a show and could go up to like I think like $300 or $400 a show if you've been working for the company for like a long time. Then you have a, so that, so there's a scope of a, like for me, like middling or emceeing in a club, I would get $150 a show, but I can't do that every weekend.

Right. Cause I'll be on a rotation. And then, so like I said, some clubs only have two show weekends, like one show Friday, one show Saturday. So then it's like, am I supposed to live off $300 a week? Right. Like I can't. You can't.

It's not in Toronto anyway. Yeah. And then once in a while you get your big festival or you get something for TV taping and then that's more of like a $2,000 to $3,000 paycheck. So is that like the Comedy Now thing you get? Yeah, Comedy Now I got. It's funny because I think they've been paying the same

ever since it's been on the air. So it's $3,500. But after agent takes their part and then actor fees, I got $2,600. So that's it. So there are these like. Meanwhile, they've got this like, this is going to air forever. And you can basically never use those jokes again. Right.

And then there's like, but then there's like one nighters and like corporate things and fundraisers where you can make that like 300. Do you find the, uh, the Tinder thing would hurt the corporate thing? Um, like, like in theory, like the Tinder thing,

it's pretty like sexually explicit. Totally. And it's like, you're having like intercourse with many different men. I like, I don't know how some corporations might. Um, yeah, but at least when you get a gig sheet, there's usually rules on it, right?

So I'd be like, okay, you have to be squeaky clean or some are opposite. Some are like occasional F word okay, no C word. That's popular on our gig sheets. But yeah, adult language and adult content is fine. So like the show I'm doing tonight.

It's out in Simcoe and it'll be an all-girls night, but it should be fun. But this is not a corporate one tonight. No, this is like a one-off kind of girls' night out show that they've hired a girl comic for. So you can use the C word tonight. I feel like I never use the C word.

You know, see, in this, okay, in England, the C word is like commonplace. I feel like I never use the C word. In England, the C word is like commonplace. I know. You'd hear like the Aaron Davis and Mike Cooper of London might say the C word. Yeah. No, exactly. Here it's like the third rail or something. It's like you just can't go there.

I'm not a big C word user. That's probably a good practice. I know. That's not my style. Because you'll lose a lot of corporate gigs if you're too into the C word. Yeah, man. No, you can't. But it sounds like you got a lot of rules and it sounds like you're lucky to get these $40 things.

And as we know, you're going to make more than that waiting tables. You know, like I said, there's been good waves in my life where I've made good paychecks doing comedy for sure. And for me, I think I just keep working in a bar because I get scared. I get scared of not making money.

And I'm like, I better just keep doing it just in case. Yeah, my natural next question is like, when can you quit the waitress job? I guess when you have like, once I have a steady, like a steady writing job or, you know, one of my things in development finally takes off and you know what I mean? If there's a paycheck.

So if the Tinder blog, you keep talking about it wasn't optioned. Is that the terminology? Oh, no. It was optioned, but it wasn't sold. Yeah. We never made anything. Right. So let's say somebody wants to make a show out of this.

Then what happens for your wallet? Well, then I would have a steady paycheck. And then I would not wait tables anymore. And I have been offered reality shows. And then the reality show thing scares me because I don't want to accidentally crap all over my life. Because I feel like with the reality show. And this is Canadian reality or American? Yeah, Canadian.

So it can't pay very well. No, it was like, I think they offered me like $1,000 an episode. Which is like, that's not nothing. It's probably still better than waiting tables in hindsight now. But also I really liked the writing part. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I'm a writer and I feel like if I did reality, it would just be taking what I'm good at kind of throwing it away. And then I would have to make an asset of myself on TV like every day. I don't know if I could do that to my family. Like you're already being like, you know what I mean? There's a big difference between like my blog, which I feel like brings in a relatively intelligent crowd

because I'm writing 2000 words a week. Like, and that's not, a YouTuber needs to watch a video. No, you're right. You got to commit like to the blog. You got to, yeah, you got to commit yourself to like regular reading. Yeah, exactly. Like how many people read anymore?

Exactly. That's why I feel like minimum, like I get minimal trolling. I don't get a lot of trolling. You get trolling on YouTube. Oh, people are happy to watch a video, but is somebody going to go and read? Like, what have I, I've, I've written like over 200,000 words now on my dating life. Like, is somebody going to take the time to read all that? Like if they're just me, if they're internet troll, yeah, sure. My following is amazing. Like people that read it and share

it on their Facebook are super into it. And I love that. I love that following. Only the NPR crowd, okay? That's who's going to... Yeah, I feel like it does bring in a nice... Yeah, my following is nice. But that following, though, probably has money. You would think they'd be an educated... Well, I mean, I do want to self-publish and turn it into a book.

But again, this is all stuff I can do and I could have done for like the last year or two. And have I really put my ass in gear and done it? No. So how come? That must be, that's just... To me, this is a big life decision you've made, which is you're going to pack up and move to LA. I know.

That's huge. I know. And this is happening? Or is it one of those maybe things? Oh no, I have my papers. I have to go. I have my papers and dying eggs? I know. Or is it one of those maybe things? Oh, no. I have my papers. I have to go. I have my papers and dying eggs, so I have to go. The dying eggs?

The dying eggs is like the theme of my life right now. Okay. So you do take action. Yes. I do take action, just not all the time. Sometimes you get scared and you're like, eh, fuck it. Nothing's going to happen. Who cares?

It's depressing, I know. Now, in Canada versus the U.S. again, like fuck it nothing's gonna happen who cares it's depressing i know now in canada versus us again so like do you feel like canada is makes it very difficult for somebody to make a living off of something like a lot of people do it you know there's a lot of because this is what i failed to understand i failed to see i mean except for some exceptions and these people i don't know like are super exceptions like russell Russell Peters or something like that. It's difficult to point to a lot of, I mean, is Ron James an example?

I think he's an example of somebody successful. What does Ron James drive? You know what I mean? Like I have no gauge for Ron James' success. Ron James, what do you drive? What does he drive? We know Russell has a deluxe house. I think he's got a couple of houses,

one in Vegas, one in Malibu. But he's like an outlier. I know. He jumped because he went global. Do you know what I mean? Let's push him aside. Let's push him aside. Let's push him aside.

He's really nice. Let's take a corner gas guy, Brent Butt. That's about as big as you can get as a Canadian comedian. That is pretty big. That's true. That's a good example. What's he driving? Jerry D. Yeah, I don't know. Oh,. Like what's Jerry D driving? He's successful.

This is a good question. And I don't even mean to equate what you're driving, what you make, but what I guess what I'm saying is if Jerry D is the pinnacle for a standup comic in Canada, am I making more than Jerry D? I don't know. But my point is I don't feel like Jerry D is like an American equivalent who would be like super rich. For i don't feel like jerry d is like a an american equivalent who would be like no super rich for sure i feel like definitely well i mean it's a numbers game right that's why even doing stand-up on the road in america is more profitable because they have way bigger population than canada that's true and all of these cities california's got more people than canada i know and so you know the the comedy clubs that are across canada i mean there's it's sad but a lot of them are empty a lot of nights. Like they're just, and it's weird.

You don't want a comedy club to be sad. It's the opposite of what a comedy club should be. Like comedy clubs have closed down in like in Windsor and in Oakville and like in all these cities that like even Hamilton, well, I think they reopened, but Kitchener closed down, but they have the population to, to have a comedy club. But for some reason it just doesn't happen. Maybe that's because of Netflix and stuff like that. I mean,

I don't doubt that the YouTube, uh, like the same reason porno mags don't sell, you know, they're self serving. Cause you can wash it, everything at home online. You don't need to leave the club.

Although, sorry, go to a club. Although everybody knows like seeing like comedy, it's like music. So different. Like you don't know what's going to happen. And you know, you have to know that everything that you watch online is,

it's all pampered a little bit. And people are only going to post stuff online that is like great and killer. On that note though, I will say this. I will laugh hysterically at stuff live that I probably wouldn't even snicker at if I'm watching on the television. I know, because there's an energy.

Because you've gone there to laugh. Yeah. Like you're in a mood to laugh. Yeah. And then something about just the energy. Yeah. The energy in the room and something where you'll laugh like a lot at something. And then if you had watched it on TV, you probably would have been like, oh, you know.

That's true. Being in the room and like seeing things live. I think there's a lot of. And the cocaine helps. And the cocaine will definitely make you laugh harder the um so are you kind of pissed that canada has made it so difficult like has made it basically so you a very funny talented comedian has to wait table still like is that canada's fault is that i still like to think of canada i like i like to think of everything very positively.

I still like to think that this is a great training field to go to America. When people get to America, it's like, oh my God, they're so seasoned. These Canadian comics are always really good, and they actually succeed in L.A. and New York because they have this amazing background of doing Canadian comedy and getting all these opportunities. But you still have to go to make it. You have to leave.

Although still kind of staying under the radar because a lot of Americans don't watch Canadian TV. So you're still under the radar, but you're seasoned. And so that's probably why so many great comics come from Canada. We do produce a lot of funny, but we do have typically have to go down to the States. We do export a lot of ourselves. Whether it be like a Mike Myers or a Jim Carrey. Of course, right?

All those people. It kind of sucks though. It does kind of suck. I mean, because we all want to live in Canada. It's a really nice place to live. I mean, minus the weather that's coming to Toronto soon. But yeah, man, it's still a good It's still a good life here in Canada. We got a lot of good things going for us.

Yeah, and if you're lucky, you get that $40 mint, that spot, $40. You make $40. And you know what? $40. Is that cash under the table? That $40 goes right back into the cocaine. That's true. They should just pay you in cocaine and cut out the mint.

Right? And we got $40. That's a magical number in Canada. So when you go to LA, what's the, what is the goal? Like if you could write, is it that there's a popular sitcom based on the Tinder blog? Like what is the goal? I want, um, I'm baby steps. So I feel like the first thing I like to do is maybe get a few standup appearances on the cool shows, you know, on like Conan or like Jimmy Fallon. Like that would be like step one, try to get some like stageon. Like that would be like step one.

Try to get some like stage time. You know what I mean? Because I need to raise my profile in America. So America knows who I am. And then yes, definitely like write. I really want to turn my blog into a book, which I'm doing. So I feel like I'm a writer above any other sort of form of entertainment. And then from there, yeah.

And I'm also working on a script with another girlfriend of mine, Claire Brasso. But yeah, I'm just like, I try to stay creative every day and just keep going. You and Claire could be like the Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Yeah. That would be great. I know. We have a lot of very funny females in Canada. Yeah.

And I feel like every single one of them wants to move to LA. That's too bad. Minus like two of them that are like over 40 and think, no, I can't go anymore. Although I read today, okay, so the Billboard Hot 100, which might not be very relevant today, but it's still fun to look at. The top four singles are by Canadian artists, like Ontario people. Cool. It's like The Weeknd and Drake, Justin Bieber, and I think it's Shawn Mendes.

This is the one I'm less familiar with. But so they're all from Ontario, but they were saying, okay, so they were saying, Drake, he lives half the time in the States, but his real home is still Toronto.

Like he's got a home in Toronto and still, The Weeknd still lives in Toronto. Shawn Mendes apparently still lives in the GTA. I believe he's from Ajax. Something like that. I'm so excited. I know the facts about Shawn Mendes apparently still lives in the GTA. I believe he's from Ajax. Something like that. I'm so excited. I know the facts about Shawn Mendes.

But he's cute. Yeah, well, that's the home of some 41 Ajax. Right? That's big shoes to fill right there. Ajax is an entertainment hub.

That's funny. But Justin Bieber, they said, so Justin Bieber lives full time in California. Yeah, I could see that. So one out of four,

though, no longer lives here. So three out of four though, no longer lives here. So three out of four still live here. So they were just saying, I guess that's something to be said that they can stay home and still be a big freaking deal. I know, exactly. That's good. That's a positive.

Yeah, that is a positive. So how often do you have to update your material? When you're doing stand-up, how fresh is it? Ideally, I like to write a new joke like slide one new thing in per show even if it's really small because i feel like we all have our acts that are always uh getting groomed and it's really weird because sometimes you can tell a joke like a thousand times and then you tell it like a thousand and one times then all of a sudden this another joke like pops up, like you get a new tag. Sure.

Like you understand what I say when I say tag? Yeah. Jokes are like set up punchline, tag, tag, tag. So it's like tags are like those extra jokes, the bonus jokes that come out. Yeah, the joke on the joke. Yeah. So then sometimes there's always like new tags getting written.

And then once you write new tags, you're like, well, still I have to do that whole joke over again just so I can get to the new tags. Yeah. And some maybe the tags sometimes branch into a new joke. Yeah. See, look, still, I have to do that whole joke over again just so I can get to the new tags. Yeah, and maybe the tags sometimes branch into a new joke. Yeah. See, look, I think I could do this. Do you think I could do this? I don't know if I'm very funny, but I think I could.

You'll never know unless you try. I don't know if I could afford to try because it sounds like for a long time I worked for free. Oh, you do work for free for a long time. I don't know if I have those evenings available to give away. Yeah, and you have to give... So you got to do it know if I have those evenings available to give away. Yeah. And you have to go, you got to do before you have kids.

You have to give up your evenings. You have to be willing to work for free for a long time. Yeah. You have to remain hopeful. It sounds like I talk to a lot of radio people on this show and lots of times that, that same kind of sentiment is exists. Like you got to be willing to do it for free for a long time. Stand up is the only thing I'm committed to.

That's it. That's where my commitment lies. You're married to the microphone. I'm married to comedy. There's my commitment. Look, I can commit, you guys. I can. Joyce Brothers is very pleased to hear that.

Who's the funniest comedian working today? I guess Amy Schumer. How do I not say her? I just saw Trainwreck and although she was very good in it, the funniest part of Trainwreck

is LeBron James. My humble opinion. I watched it on the weekend. Yeah, he was great. He was fantastic. Totally. Yeah, man. But she is quite funny.

She's killing it. It's so good. And we need more Amy Schumers. And she's a lot like you actually. She's stealing your bit because she's like this. I get that all the time. I'm like, I know it's good. No need we need more amy schumers and she's a lot like you actually man she's stealing your bed because she's like this uh i get that all the time i'm like i know it's good no she's

like a more younger and successful one i didn't say younger but she is more successful but just barely she's not waiting tables anymore exactly that's a pro but she's like okay so historically men could like sleep around it was okay but women couldn't or they're sluts or whatever that's like a historic thing and that seems to have changed. And you in your Tinder blog, you've turned that around where it's like you're okay to be like a guy who just has sex for pleasure. And Amy Schumer is the same deal. I know. I'm all about

the anti-slut shaming. I love like, and I'm telling you, when I write about sex in my blog, people are actually excited for me. Because you can see like, it took me I think 18 dates before I finally had sex. Is that right? Yeah. And then it was like, it was good. Then people are so excited. They're like, yes, she finally got laid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was. Because it seems like every time I read one of these things, you're having sex. Maybe I'm cherry picking them. I know. You must be cherry picking them. There's a lot. There's no sex.

That's funny. Is there any comedian that you think should just call it a day? Like just. I would never say that. Oh, no. I could never. No way. Do you remember me and omitting facts? No way. That's a convenient one, too.

Not falling for that. And am I allowed, I guess we can say that you live in the annex, because that's not very specific. And you live at this address, right? No, I'm just kidding. But if you could live anywhere in the city, I mean, I know you live in the Annex because that's not very specific. Yeah, I live in Toronto. And you live at this address, right? No, I'm just kidding. But if you could live anywhere in the city, I mean, I know you live in LA, so it's kind of a dumb question now, but if you could live anywhere in the city,

would you pick the Annex? I don't know. I've always had this pipe dream of living by the St. Lawrence Market. I know it's dorky, but it's the thought of fresh produce, you know? And they have that wicked mustard store. Wow. I like the restaurant. Oh they have that wicked mustard store. Wow.

I like the Esplanade. Oh, that's the mustard district. The mustard district. I like that area. You got everything. You got your little cheap movie theater. You got the market. You got cute little bars.

I kind of dig that area. That's a cool neighborhood. Yeah, man. They got a suite of Lenkas there. Yeah, I'm kind of about the Esplanade. But for what I pay in rent, I'd probably never move if I didn't have to. You'd have to find a basement apartment there. Yeah, I'm kind of about the Esplanade. But for what I pay in rent, I'd probably never move if I didn't have to. You'd have to find a basement apartment there.

Oh, totally. Do they have basements there? In the Esplanade? I wouldn't want to be in a basement by the Esplanade. No. No. You deserve better anyway. But when you go to LA,

you're going to have a much nicer basement. Yeah, right? Apartment. Let's hope. Listen, if you go to LA and make it big, I need you to get to know Dave Chappelle. And then I need you to ask Dave Chappelle to come on my show.

I actually have a million questions for the guy. I think the guy's hilarious. I want Dave Chappelle to be sitting there one day. No problem. I'm sure it'll happen in five minutes after I land. I'm going to. Well, no, because you got to make it first. But then'm serious this is i know you're a comedian you think everything's a joke i am very serious about this dave chappelle thing any parting uh by the way that went very

quick and um do you have any parting wisdom you want to leave with everybody um because because you're very very soon i will be unable to get you on this podcast because post-LA, you're going to be a big fucking deal. I know. It's hard for me to get to Etobicoke when I live in Toronto. The eggs are still moist, as they say. I think so. Yikes.

That scares me. This is my last chance to have you here. I guess the only wisdom I can offer for everybody, no matter what you're doing in life, is keep doing it. Just keep going. Same advice was given last week by Adam from 102.1 The Edge, which is essentially similar advice, which is be there.

Like, basically, so much of his opportunity was because he was there. Yeah. Like, so you just keep at it and then opportunity will knock yeah

but if you're not there to answer the door opportunity is going to go to the next door it's going to go next door that's a bumper sticker do I get to say

my internet oh no say everything thingy so you can follow me on twitter I'm at walkinsauce my tinder blog is walkinsauce.tumblr.com

and I even have a website, which I update at least twice a year. It's ChristinaWalkinshaw.com. And you can buy my album on iTunes. iTunes is the album. And it's on Spotify, too. Wow. I actually have a little

tiny script thing now where I'm going to remind them all of your Twitter address. Amazing. Following you on Twitter is a must do. By the way, the Jays real quick. You were a big Jays fan or did I just

pick that up from Twitter? You faked it. No, I obviously love them. But I tell you, every time I was at home watching the

game with no pants on, they won. That's what it was. Anytime I had to wear pants. You didn't wear pants on game day. Yeah.

But we still didn't. So what happened? There were some days I had to wear pants. I'm sorry. Anyways. game day. Yeah. But we still didn't. So what happened? There were some days I had to wear pants. I'm sorry. Anyways. It's all your fault. I know.

I'm sorry. And that brings us to the end of our 139th show. You can follow me on Twitter at Toronto Mike and Christina Walkinshaw is at Walkinsauce. What's the origin of that? You just like that? Walkinsauce? It's just a play on my last name. Walkinshaw. Only's the origin of that? You just like that? Walkin' Sauce? It's just a play on my last name, Walkin' Shaw, only instead of Shaw, the sauce.

It's kind of like hot sauce and alcohol. That's a good reason. Walkin' Sauce is W-A-L-K-I-N-S-A-U-C-E. See you all next week. Bye, guys! Rosie and Gray Yeah the wind is cold But the smell of snow Wants me today And your smile is fine And it's just like mine And it won't go away

Cause everything is Rosie and Gray