Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Christmas Episode: Toronto Mike'd #151

Episode Date: December 24, 2015

Mike chats with Elvis about lots of festive things.

Testy testicles. Oh, my balls are roasting on an open fire. Fuck Christmas. Fuck Christmas. Fuck Christmas. It's not Jesus' birthday. Praise Jesus. Welcome to episode 151 of Toronto Mike.

Baby Jesus. A weekly podcast about anything and everything. He's born tomorrow. Often with a distinctly Toronto flavor. Baby Jesus. I'm Mike from TorontoMike.com and joining me this week is some guy who thinks he's Santa Claus. Baby J.

BJ is almost here. Come to me, BJ. Tis the season. We are recording. We should, for the record. Tis the season for BJs. Hey now. We're recording on...

I mean Baby Jesus, not blowjobs. It's Christmas Eve. No, it's Festivus Boxing Day. That's what it is. You take... I see that on the Instagram and on the Facebook. You take the Festivus very seriously. We have a Feats of Strength tournament.

This is the second year or third year, I think. So I have to say, we do a tournament. I drop a bracket. And the way that it worked this year was that last year's champion was my middle daughter. And she got a bye all the way to the finals. And so there was myself versus my one-year-old. Who won that one? I destroyed Charlie.

It was an immediate training for the whole year. And she's got fucking destroyed. You could do him with a pinky i bet i think you could pin him with a pinky he got destroyed um and then um mrs elvis took on my uh my oldest daughter and she and that'd be a good battle mrs elvis lost i bet yeah she lost and then uh my oldest daughter beat me and so it was uh daughter number one versus daughter number two in the championship. Daughter number two trying to repeat to be the first repeat champion. And daughter number one came through victorious. Oh my gosh.

You know what? I'm going to make a bold prediction that Charlie wins next year. Massive. That's my bold prediction. I think it was a big upset because Holly, she's wily. She's tiny, but she's very quick.

So anyway, so I post all this shit on Instagram and Facebook and we have a Festivus poll and did air any of the grievances at work yesterday as well as with the family. That's a long list.

It's a lot of fun. However, the funny part about all of this was, so we're doing this thing and my kids, you know, lest anyone think that I'm actually getting

my family members to physically fight with one another, it's a fucking joke, everybody. No, first of all, thing and my kids you know lest anyone think that i'm actually getting my family members to physically fight with one another it's a fucking joke everybody no first of all we're just play fighting is healthy we're just posting pictures of like the pinning but so i take all these pictures like you know and i'm arranging it i'm like you know i'm a fucking photographer and you know getting the lighting correct and all this stuff my middle daughter who just lost yeah has no concept whatsoever what's going on obviously, obviously, because it's stupid. She's like, let's do it again.

I'm like, let's do what again? There's nothing to do again. We just posed for you, laid down on the ground and posed for photos. This behind the scenes of the illness. No, it's me. That's real talk, man. I'm sorry to burst people's bubbles to think that it actually was real. Next thing you'll tell me is there's no Santa.

Yeah, no fucking kidding. Anyway, so yeah, Festivus was a great day yesterday. It was a lot of fun. Awesome. And your kids are excited about Christmas. Happy Festivus to you and yours. Thank you. Santa comes.

This is how it works in Elvis' house. Santa comes tonight. Santa will be arriving tonight. And you have two believers in the home. The elf on the shelf goes home. And then Santa arrives tomorrow or tonight, I guess. So two people in your household are ecstatic that they're going to wake up and there's going to be like gifts. I think my wife is also Mrs. Elvis.

I think she believes as well. I'm pretty sure she believes, yeah. Santa Elvis. I enjoy, like now you're getting the maniacs on Facebook who are posting, like, the links to NORAD saying this is where Christmas is. Well, we've been doing that for a decade since NORAD started. So I'm posting on people's walls when they do that. I'm like, you know, Santa's not real.

No, you don't. People get really upset. All I'm saying is. People get really upset. Got to be careful because I'm sure somewhere, because I'm not that explicit in this podcast, somebody's playing this in the car with their

kids yeah I guess you don't mean like I'm not like shows talk about you know sex and stuff so they feel like this is probably a pretty safe program we gotta I'm gonna talk about sex no we don't other

shows do so you wouldn't play that in front of your kids but this is a show I think people might actually play right yeah yeah yeah just careful I don't think anyone plays the ones where I'm on,

especially not Dean. Well, no. First of all, you can end that sentence with nobody plays the ones I'm on. That's it. I woke up to a comment from not Dean.

Yeah, you mentioned not Dean. Why is Elvis the guy? Why not Argy? Argy, sorry. Argy. Irvine. Irvine, of course, who goes on hiatuses all the time.

That might be Irvine who actually commented as Nod Dean. It could be, because they always use an anonymous proxy server, so I never know who Nod Dean is. Really? I was sleeping this time when it came in, so I woke up to it. But I always check the IP address, because I'm hoping Nod Dean slips up one time and uses the same IP address he uses his real name on.

Like, sometime he'll slip up. I'm hoping he'll slip up. So far it's an anonymous proxy server. So NotDean is completely anonymous. So NotDean, I thoroughly enjoyed your comment. I texted Mike earlier this morning and I said I love it when people trash me. It's

so gratifying. It's just so funny. Are you jingling your balls, Mike? No, I just felt like I should randomly play the Christmas bells once in a while. I think the listeners should know that Toronto Mike is wearing a fucking Santa Claus hat today. Always. I'm wearing the Santa hat because Jarvis. Okay, so today, let's start with the weather

because that's what people should talk about today. Real quick, I wake up and I have a source. I guess a source. The Environment Canada, the government scientists, guys, meteorologists, they post their 24-hour thing. A source. I have a source. I have a secret source.

It's the government of Canada. It's called the news. It's not quite the news because the news will take that and then they have to make it for mass appeal or whatever. Like, like oh my god it's warmageddon or it's like heat wave or this whatever i just want the facts like so i just go straight to the source so i don't want the hyperbole around it because the mainstream media has to wrap it up in shit to sell it i just want the fact you want you want something more than a number i want what i want that's exactly what i want i want the number i want to know if a percentage chance of rain or snow and i want to

know what the wind uh kilometers an hour the wind is at and you can't get that from the weather network app i can but i get it from the source the meteorologist the government of canada canada meteorologist posts this on the web so that's where where I get it from. So I go there. How do you get it? I have a link in my Chrome and I click it and it's there. So you actually go on. I do 24 hours.

You have to go on the web. Well, I have the web on me. Like the web's in my pocket. I know, but you don't have an app? I don't have an app, no. I don't think they have an app. So I actually, yes. Wow, that seems to me

and now in 2015, almost 2016, that's a lot of effort to go to a website really not like you have to trust me on this one like i'm already on the computer anyways and i click it because i'm planning when i'm gonna ride my bike anyway this this i'm doing this at like i'm gonna say eight o'clock because at this approximately eight o'clock i expect you to walk knocking at the door with a starbucks coffee for me correct and we going to record because I don't have work today.

And unbeknownst to me, daycare was closed today. And I almost got screwed there. It's fine because I'm not working anyway. So he's good. And I'm expecting you at 8 o'clock to record this. And then I get a text from you. Did I text you before or after or at 8 o'clock? 8.02 maybe?

I was down here doing a sound check waiting for the knock so i woke up in my daughter's bed uh naturally which is part of the problem looked at my phone saw that hey recording podcast 8 a.m i was like god damn it i forgot to set my alarm. Remember when Ian serviced? We talked about the calendar. I did everything according to your specifications. Yeah, you're right. And you still... I think it was because, A, I'm not working.

I'm not working. Sorry, I got to chink on my balls a little bit. I'm not working today. I do think I woke up in the middle of the night with my headphones still on. So I fell asleep listening to something on the radio. Was it Anthony from Opie and Anthony? No.

Because I downloaded that and listened to it. And he had Stuttering John. He had... Artie Lang, did he? No, he did not have Artie Lang. He had Scott Armstrong. What's his name? Casey Armstrong. And J had Stuttering John. He had... Artie Lang, did he? No, he did not have Artie Lang. He had Scott Armstrong. What's his name? Casey Armstrong. Casey Armstrong.

And Jokey the Jokeman. Grillo, Jokey the Jokeman. And Levy. Was that recently? Reverend Levy. Bob Levy. Yeah. It was yesterday.

He recorded it yesterday. Everyone who doesn't like Howard Stern. So they were his guests. So I listened to that. Was it good? Should I listen to it? Well, you know what? It was not bad.

I enjoyed it as a fan for many, many years. It was interesting to hear back. Stuttering John, I also had the MP4 file so I could see it. Oh, it was a video. Yeah, it's also a video. I think maybe you should send it to me. Yeah, I have it upstairs. Stuttering John looks really rough.

He just looks like he's gained a lot of weight. Well, he doesn't have a job. Apparently his wife left him. Yeah. He's a self-proclaimed alcoholic he just looks like his arm strong looks rough too casey armstrong well he got fired because he had multiple drug issues well he said he was an alcoholic and he uh just had some serious health issue like a couple of weeks ago where like oh wow i can't remember like uh he had a very serious health issue he talks about it on the show but yeah these guys look rough, man. You know who looks good?

Jokey the Jack Man. Jackie the Joke Man looks the same as he always looked. Yeah. He might even be a little bit thinner. He's like almost 70 years old. Yeah, yeah. He's funny. I like him.

I like his laughing stuff. It's funny. Yeah, he's good times. He pulled the Diane Keaton move, though. Left the highest rated television program slash radio program and then never had a career afterwards. So Diane, you don't mean Diane Keaton. You mean, oh. Not Diane Keaton.

Diane. Shelley Long. Shelley Long. Diane. Yes. Whatever her name was on Cheers. Yes. Her name was Diane.

Diane whatever. Chambers. Shelley Long. Chambers. Yeah. What did Shelley Long do afterwards? She was in one movie afterwards. She left Cheers to go do a movie.

You know what else? He did have a rebound, but David Caruso did that, I think. Didn't he leave NYPD Blue? He did, but you afterwards. She left Cheers to go do a movie in the middle of the tent. You know what else? He did have a rebound, but David Caruso did that, I think. Didn't he leave NYPD Blue? He did, but you're right. He had a massive comeback And you know what?

Big mistake when Clooney left ER. What are you fucking doing? Yeah, that was a big mistake. We haven't heard from him since. Yeah, yeah. Well, and then ER killed off Goose. That was, I mean, can the guy just fucking live?

Jesus. Oh, yeah. Poor Anthony Edwards. You know, that's the last episode I watched was that episode. And I watched You know, that's the last episode I watched was that episode. And I watched it from... I never watched it.

I watched from day one to that episode. I think I watched the last couple of seasons because Mrs. Elvis was watching. All right, we're all over the place, but the weather was amazing. So I learned it like... Yeah, my source said it was 17 degrees at 9 o'clock a.m.

So I now learn at like 8.03. Elvis is not coming. Literally, Christmas is canceled. Like literally, because I have this whole Christmas episode planned and you're not coming. And it's like, what a dick. He's in like North Oshawa.

Yeah, thanks, Liz. Fuck this guy. Appreciate it, Liz. Well-deserved, but yeah. It was, listen, I got nothing to say. But it's not your first offense. No, this is my first offense where it's my fault. Well, many times you said I'll be there at 8 a.m., for example.

Correct. And I get a text in the morning to say I got a meeting or something. Correct. I mean, that's shitty, but it's not my fault. I want to be here, not in the meeting. But this morning was my fault. So the weather's amazing. You're not coming.

I say to myself, Mike, it's at 17 degrees. Go for a bike ride. My beautiful wife, it says, you know, go for it or whatever. I jump on the bike and I say to myself. Self. I'm going to try to do 30K. I'm going to do 30K. And I always say, I'll say a number to myself.

And I have routes where I know they're approximately that distance. And then I find out what. Right. So I go, I'm going to go for 30K ride. I go do my ride. I use map my ride. Right. So I stop it where I know they're approximately that distance and then I find out what it is. So I'm going to go for a 30K ride. I go do my ride. I use MapMyRide, right? So I stop it when I get home. It's 30.00 kilometers.

Wow. Never happened before ever in my life. You didn't want to like push your bike to make it go 30.001? No, that would be your thing or whatever. Yeah, you got to get over. No, and if it was 29.99, I would have left it too. Oh my goodness. Oh my God, I couldn't do And if it was 29.99, I would have left. Oh no. Oh my goodness. Oh my God.

I couldn't do it all the time. I don't have this thing, but I did aim for 30 and I nailed 30 today. And it's, that's the first time ever. That is the Festivus miracle. First Festivus miracle. So now I,

now I get the boy though, 20 month old. And I, I put him in his jacket, which he really didn't need, but I put him in his jacket and his toque. And I said, we went for the longest walk.

It was like summertime out there. Look at you. Fucking amazing walk. I woke up, went and renewed my passport and went for a little run. And then now I'm here. Yeah, well, that's it. Then I get a text from you.

I'm on the walk and I'm getting these, I think it was a Twitter message or something. Yeah. But you're like, can you record? I'm like, well, I've got to get the other two kids. They're upstairs now. But at one o'clock, I can record. And this is the second Festivus Miracle.

You are here to save the Toronto Mike's Christmas special. Do we have a special guest? And do we have other sound effects other than jingling balls? We're just going to jingle our balls all fucking show? Stick with me. No ho ho ho. I got big plans, big plans.

No reindeers or anything? Hepsi's sleeping still, so he's upstairs, but he might come down. He's my competition now, isn't he? Well, he was here,

honestly, he was here a couple days ago. Right, but he didn't record. Not to record, but he was here. Right. It turns out now I

learned his mom lives very close by. Oh, so it's easy for him to get here. And turns out now I learned his mom lives very close by. Oh, so it's easy for him to get here. I'm not sure he's still there, but his son was at Humber College. Yeah, she's down the street. So it's convenient. So literally, and we'll talk about this in a minute because I'm going to run down the episodes that have happened since you mentioned.

But I want to ask you if you saw Star Wars. I did. Okay, that's all you can tell me. Oh, you haven't seen it yet? I have tickets to see it Tuesday. Oh, I saw it last Friday. So I took a half day off with a co-worker and her boyfriend, and we went to go see it at the VIP theaters at Dundas and Young.

And I will say... What are you going to say now? I'm just going to say that. I'm nervous. I enjoyed it. And I think you will too. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.

Let me see. We have a scarf for Skywalker, right? Yes. And perfume for the princess? Yes. Yep. What about Han Solo? Couldn't we get him beer?

All right. That leaves one big problem. The what game? Couldn't we get him a comb? We gave him a comb last year. What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas when he already owns a comb. This is the worst Christmas special ever. You can get him a lot of stuff. You can get him a new handbag or man bag, like his

shoulder bag. Get him a new thing that goes across his chest. Some gel. Maybe some mousse, a hair dryer, a nail clipper. Do you know how difficult it is to navigate the internet

since the premiere of Star Wars? When you don't want any spoilers. You know what? I found it quite easy. What? You just logged off? No, there's not a lot of spoilers out there at all. Okay.

I don't even want little spoilers. I don't want anything. Well, define a little spoiler. I can't because I know when I hear them. Hey, guess what? It opens with in a galaxy a long, long time ago. That's not a fucking spoiler. You know that's going to happen.

But you don't know how to avoid a spoiler. You don't know what it is until it's too late. My understanding is that everyone who was given access to write a review of the movie before it came out had to sign an NDA. Okay, but now it's out for the mass. It's been how long since the mass? It's like you have seen it. You unwashed. I know.

It's unbelievable. Like a week, right? Almost a week right almost a week last thursday last thursday yeah thursday well i guess thursday morning at midnight it would have been out yeah yeah so now we're at a week of the regular people seeing it yeah i think people are being respectful though what i okay so i like the crying game right don't ruin that for me either i've never seen i'm gonna see that yeah don't ruin it don't ruin it it's beyond this beyond what is the, have we had this chat yet? Probably 100 times. The crime game.

The crime game. No. What? Statute of limitations on spoilers. Oh. Because we can now say that Luke's dad is that Darth guy, right? Darth Vader, yeah.

But that's because it's decades old. Oh, man. You know, for a movie like this, I don't think it's as long. As for like the... But shouldn't we wait for the... What about poor people who can't afford movie tickets and see it on DVD? Well, I'm pretty sure the poor people

haven't seen the first Star Wars then either. Yeah, because it's been on TV. Poor people will watch it when it comes on to like... Poor people. When they can rent it. When does it hit libraries? Oh, I don't know. Because my brother, Steve,

watches lots of things by going to the library and borrowing the DVDs. Yeah. When does Star Wars hit libraries? Oh, I don't know. Because my brother, Steve, watches lots of things by going to the library and borrowing the DVDs. Yeah. When does Star Wars hit libraries? Well, I think the spoiler for me,

a movie like that, like that big, you know. All right, don't ruin it for me. A couple weeks maybe? So I'm going to see it Tuesday.

You can ruin it then. Thanks. So yeah, I got four tickets. It's fun. You'll like it. What, the youngest, I'm going to stick him in daycare and then the other two kids are going to go with me and Monica on Tuesdays. Thanks. So yeah, I got four tickets. It's fun. You'll like it. What, the youngest, I'm going to stick him in daycare and then the other two kids

are going to go with me and Monica on Tuesdays. Cool. What theater? Queensway Islington. Gotcha. I went and saw it on VIP. Have you ever seen a movie on VIP before?

No, no, no. It's pretty awesome. You're like in this massive... I'm actually going on Tuesday so it's actually $7.99 a ticket. Well, look at you. It's the cheap thing. Okay, idiot.

How early do I have to go to get a good spot? I don't know because I went VIP and it's a signed CD. Fucking right. What did that cost you? $25.

Yeah, see I'm $7.99. It's like a whole big jump. Well, I bought one ticket though. Yeah, I'm buying four. You're buying four. That's right.

So big difference. This is the one day where the kids don't save me any money. It's the same price. Yeah, exactly. Big fucking difference. All right.

So Star Wars is out there. It's the same price. Yeah, exactly. Big fucking difference. All right. So, so, uh, but Dar Wars is out there. And in the VIP, I had a beer and a bowl of popcorn. Was the beer more expensive or less expensive than at BMO Field?

Oh. I don't know. No, no, no. It was less expensive, but it wasn't as, I mean, the big beer is expensive, but it's,

you can't get a big beer at the theater. You just get a pint. I, uh, remember in Pulp Fiction when they were talking about... A glass of beer, I was just going to say. I'm just looking at it right now. I was just going to say,

the beer that I had in the theater was in a glass. It was a glass of beer. So I've wandered around Amsterdam a few times, and that line's always in my head. I'm always looking at these theaters and wondering, like,

if I go in there, am I going to get a glass of beer? It was McDonald's he was talking about. Royale cheese. McDonald's was the, yeah, the Royale cheese, and they do the mayonnaise with their french fries. Yeah, but that get a glass of beer? It was McDonald's he was talking about. McDonald's was the Royal Cheese. They do the mayonnaise with their french fries. But that was a glass of beer. You can get a glass of beer there too.

I don't know. I'm actually going to Amsterdam. When are you going? Maybe June, I think. Oh, I might be going in October. Not the same month. We're going to miss each other. Can you imagine we record from Amsterdam?

In Vondelpark? I couldn't imagine. I don't even know what that is. Not the same month. We're going to miss each other. Just miss each other. Imagine we record from Amsterdam. Can you imagine? In Vondelpark. I couldn't imagine. I don't even know what that is, but I couldn't imagine. We could ride bikes together and hold hands. That's my walking place, Vondelpark. After midnight, you can have sex in that park. You probably could have sex there anytime you wanted to. But it's legal.

Right. And you can drink a beer there, that's for sure. So can you give me an update? I saw this happen on Twitter. like i think you you and spider jones yeah yeah i don't know what's going on spider jones he's gone silent on me nothing he hasn't responded to any of my messages is this gonna be an elliot friedman situation or is it gonna be no no because i'm not uh greg brady situation i'm not claiming to know spider i sent him a message and he said yeah let's do it so i sent him a couple of follow-ups

and I received nothing. I've been thinking it's imminent, but it's not necessarily imminent. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say, Spider, it's a busy time of the year. You're probably doing a whole bunch of things with your family and friends. I'll try again over the holidays, but

let's try and do this in January. So you're threatening to bring Spider Jones over. Yes, I am. That's a big threat. I like Spider. Yeah. I used to listen to him all the time because he used to be on just before. He used to be on sometimes with Storm and Norman.

Jeff Merrick credits Spider Jones, Storm and Norman Rumack, and Roger Lejoie, who I used to have his business card right there. He credits those three as being the big guidance counselors at that station who would help out the young guys like him, Strombo, and Makowitz. Nice. That's the trio. Very cool. Yeah, I like Spider.

Junior and a senior. I like all three of those guys that you named. So, Spider Jones. So, here, since you were last here, which wasn't that long ago, actually. No, it wasn't. A couple weeks. We have recorded three episodes. Tell me whether...

A, have you listened? Zero. Come on. Don't spoil it. No spoilers. One at a time. Arash Madani. Great guest.

Good for you. Good, good, good grab. Nice man. I'm probably... No interest? No. But it's a big guest. Did you listen to Elliot Friedman?

Yes. So Elliot's guess, Arash's, no. I'm just trying to find out where that was. I did. I even tweeted Elliot after, remember? And he didn't respond. He even said on the podcast, if he reaches out to me, I'll respond. And then he never did.

Yeah, he doesn't like you. Thanks, Elliot. Arash Madani, yeah. And then the next week, I had Jeff Samet on. Good guess. Not interested. But not as good as a rash, Dan. No.

No. Sorry, Jeff. We have to rank this, okay? Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Of course, you get me to rank Do Your Dirty Work for you.

So Samet, though, who is very nice, at the hour, two-minute mark, so like an hour and two minutes in. Actually, okay. So we record for like an hour and five minutes. Right. And then I do what I do every week, which is I go into GarageBand

and I press the stop button this time I was greeted with a dialogue box in GarageBand that said something like too many elements and the button said continue but it stopped recording so I see this, I've never seen this and I see it's not recording

so now I'm like okay when did we stop recording and it says like one hour and two minutes so I realize this thing just conked out of me three minutes ago so this is the good news you're lucky but i look i say to jeff i say i say i've never seen this before my only option is to continue i said i'm not certain when i press continue that my squiggly lines because that's what that's the technical term i'm not I'm not confident that they'll still be there. So just so you know, I'm going to press continue and your episode may have disappeared. So I'm just warning him.

And in my mind, I'm thinking like, this really sucks. Like this guy comes over, we have a heart-to-heart for an hour and it's gone. Like that's shitty. If it was you, no problem. But to create Jeff's anime, come on.

So now I'm actually now, I'm like, I'm sweating here a little bit, but now I'm like, you know, I press continue. The squiggly lines are still there. So I take my cursor in GarageBand and I basically listen to the last bit. And I see we're talking about his program director, Dave Cadeau, but I realized I actually have to lop this off

because it's not going to be an elegant way out of this or whatever. He's like cut off a mid-sentence or whatever. So I lop off the Dave Cadeau part. And I basically ask him if we can re-record the final question I asked him, which is why do you cheer for the Yankees? And then do our out and then we're okay. So he's a nice guy.

He's like, yeah, let's do it again. So I ask him, and that's funny because in my head, we say Groundhog Day. We just did the chat. And this time it is a bit different like he did ask and i i decided not to go last time i went somewhere and this time i decided not to go there so some of it was the same and we're pretending like we're hearing it for the first time so it was really phony i'm glad i don't have to do that too often so we have a phony chat about the yankees and then i play the lowest of the low and it's like thanks for coming on jeff that was great bye-bye and I now I got it but then I said to myself so

Jeff I say goodbye to him and I say I can't trust my I can't trust GarageBand on this Mac because this dusty old six-year-old Mac or whatever I've had problems before but now like what a strombo is going to drop by one day and spill the beans on something exciting and i'm not going to have the fucking squiggly lines like i just can't trust my audio anymore so episode that was episode 149 this is a really exciting story episode 150 maybe maybe when the story gets kind of shitty like the details the details is really making a good point real talk Come on. Real talk. Episode 150, which was last week, was recorded completely in audacity. So of all of the sound effects for a Christmas special, you picked that one? And the Wookiee song. I got more.

Holy moly. I got more. This is the worst fucking Christmas special ever. This blog sucks. This is horrible. You know what sucks, Elvis? This is ridiculous. This episode.

You know what sucks, Elvis? This is ridiculous. So, and I already wrote this story, but episode 150, scheduled for weeks with David Schultz, because we had been talking on the phone on a story he's writing, and I was, believe it or not,

believe it or not, we had phone conversations What the fuck? about a story he's writing for the Globe and fucking Mail. Good for you. In which I am helping through my podcast. Oh, good.

Can you say what the story's about or no? I don't know if I can. Can you give us, is it about radio? Is it about TV? Is it about sports? It's about sports.

He only writes about sports media in Canada, I think. So it is about sports media in Canada. He writes about baseball and stuff, doesn't he? Does he still?

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if he still I only notice now his sports media stuff. So Schultz is here. But the night before before I get a DM on Twitter

from Hebsey. Can we record at 9 a.m. tomorrow? He wants to talk about the CHCH gutting. Right. I'm like,

dude, 9 a.m.? Like, no, I'm going to be recording with Schultz. I said, and then I'm like,

this sucks. I really want that story. It's so fresh and it's so inside. Like, I want the fucking Hebsey story, but I'm not going

to blow off Schultz because I don't do that. Okay. If Obama... You just sabotage. Yeah. I'm not going to blow him off. If Obama wants to come in and record,

no. Schultz, then Obama. Okay. So I told Hebsey, I'm going to record it this time with Schultz. I'm going to leave the door unlocked. He's been here a couple of times. Come on in.

Take the third mic. We'll surprise Schultz and then you can tell the CHC. He's been here a couple of times. Come on in. Take the third mic. We'll surprise Schultz, and then you can tell the CHC. That's always a good move. Nothing could possibly go wrong when you bring in a surprise guest. So Schultz had no idea. Right. We're 40 minutes into his one-on-one, which means we've covered all the... It's been a good one-on-one.

A great... It was a great episode just with Schultz. But 40 minutes in, suddenly there's footsteps upstairs and the guy, tall man comes down, does not hit his head, takes the third mic. I forget what the world's like, that they actually know each other. They work together. They've worked on the same stories. They've both been around for a long time.

And now I'm thinking, this is Hebsey. He's a hothead. Does he have to fight with this guy? How many guys is Hebsey throwing a swing at? That's something that you had mentioned to me the night before. Because I was like, hey, dude, I'm not sure this is a good idea. Yeah, I don't know. I told you, as I said the night before, this is either going to be the greatest thing ever or it's going to be a disaster. I think it worked out because I'm getting lots of freaking kudos and comments from people who love it.

They said it was like when you have Frank Sinatra on The Tonight Show of Johnny Carsonmy davis jr takes the third mic or whatever or somebody like that and just dean martin's there are you just did you just compare yourself to johnny carson yeah i also compared schultz to johnny carson i mean not to uh frank sinatra so i'm not sure which is come on work with me here man somebody on twitter gave gave me the Canadian analogy and I forget it, but it was great. So does it include Mike Ballard? No. Mike Ballard and whoever his cycle was. Mike Bullard. Not Harold Ballard's son.

Harold Ballard, yeah. Whose grave I visited last summer. Good for you. Because our friend Merrick buried him. I may listen. I'm not super interested. You should listen to 150. You should listen.

Some have told me, some people say I've listened to 85 episodes. My favorite is 150. Well, not super interested in the CHCH story. Not sure that it is a story like you think it is. Okay, tell me why it's not a story. They basically have a unionized workforce, okay? And I'm trying to get the company names right.

So you work for Channel Zero owns a station, and there's another, I think it's called Channel 11, which is a person paying the checks and then Channel 11 lays off the entire staff with no severance because they declare bankruptcy. And then another new company is formed,

a numbered company. So whatever, a numbered company is formed with job offers to like, I'm going to say a third of the staff but no union allowed you have to come in

and you can still have your job on Monday but this is the new terms you can take it remember they're not being offered severance so I mean if you get offered that

you probably take it because it's better to look for a job while you're doing that than to have nothing you get no severance there and you don't think that's a story

a big story I mean it's a story to put it in the paper and say like this really sounds criminal to me it sounds like a like a union busting loophole to just create a different company and to do the same thing for the same criminal charges pending it doesn't seem legal to me i'm sure there'll be an event tell me why i just don't think it's i mean it's a. It sucks for all these people who are out of business, but it seems as though it is just another story in a long line of media companies laying people off because they're continually looking to bring in younger and cheaper staff.

I think that's really all that it is. Well, what makes it different from like when Bell Media does this, because they did just do this and there's stations like that that do it, is I guess it's the percentage of the whole affected is so dramatically higher in this instance well because they there's like two-thirds of the company declared bankruptcy yeah so so they all anyway so hebsey gets turf but he does you know he tells a story it's a great story about how he's in the wrong room so he thinks he's getting the job he's keeping his job but he's in the wrong room he's actually not he was told to be in the wrong room or just watch the wrong one?

No, he followed the crowd. Right, gotcha. Because he wasn't there when they said the names to go in this room and then everyone else to go in the other room. So he's in the room

of the people who are going to be offered jobs at the new company, but he's not supposed to be in that room because he's not getting a job. So his boss tabs him on the shoulder and like,

I'm sorry, but you're in the wrong room. You should be in the other room where they're basically being told. See, now that's a story. Yeah, but that's what heads the can. That's a story. 150 has that inside interesting nugget. Well, you just told us.

And his car was being towed out of the parking lot because he spent too much time collecting his shit or whatever. And they were towing cars. To me, it's just a terrible story. A couple of weeks before, any time of the year, it's terrible, but a couple of weeks before Christmas, and having somebody, a big name,

who was affected by that to come in to tell the straight shit, that's what Toronto Mike is all about. So, Adam Crash holds his party. Still don't think it's a story, but... All right. Well, don't listen to episode 151 then, because that wonderful story...

I'll listen to the first 40 minutes. Okay. Do it. Do it. I dare you. What am I going to say? Well, don't listen to episode 151 then because that wonderful story... I'll listen to the first 40 minutes. Okay. Do it. Do it. I dare you. What am I going to say? So, there.

So, none of those episodes are going to be listened to by Elvis. Why are you the co-host again of this fine show? 40 minutes of one is. You know, you're right. This is the worst Christmas special ever. It is. It's horrible.

You're talking about people getting laid off and... Oh, my God. A company went bankrupt. It's the first time ever. It's horrible. Oh, my God. A company went bankrupt. It's the first time ever. It's horrible. I got a call. I got a call.

It wasn't a phone call. I got an email from a company that wanted to meet me to discuss sponsoring this podcast. Oh, wow. I biked over and had a meeting with them. I in service? No, I wish. Although he kind of does. But no, not I in service.

But this company, which is a local, I'll just call them a local craft brewery. Oh, cool. So I went into the office, which is not far from here. And we talked and we talked about their tiny marketing budget and stuff. But they talked about how originally they said they really were hoping they could just give beer to my guests and give me beer. So it's like all I can drink beer and all the guests get beer. I fucking love that beer.

So I smiled and nodded because maybe, but that was interesting. Then it turned to, I'm going to ask the boss if we can buy your swing arms for you. I need like, Oh, yeah, yeah.

three of these swing, at least two. The ones that are going to go to Oshawa. The ones that are going to go to Oshawa. Get the ones that don't squeak because I worked at my station before we replaced them. Oh, they squeak?

It was fucking brutal. You couldn't touch the mics. Oh, wow. While you're on the air. You couldn't touch the mics. Oh, wow. While you're on the air. And you know who I'm giving full responsibility to choose which one it is? Oh, no. Don't make this mistake again. Andrew Stokely.

So Andrew Stokely will say, go to... There's a guy at Kipling in Queens. He's on the Queens way near Kipling. And I'm going to go there and pick up what Stokely tells me to get. I'm hoping this brewery pays for it. That'd be nice. So this is all... And then are you going to build a sponsor bed in to the beginning of the show?

So basically, we talked. So because there's no cash here or anything, it's not a title sponsor or anything, but some point near the end of the episode, I mentioned that they paid for the arms and I mentioned that they exist and maybe play their 10- second jingle or something like that. I don't have it yet. I think you already

have their jingle, don't you? Yeah. It's this right here. Jingle their balls. We can play this while we drink their beer. Hey, you know what? Maybe you can pay Cheryl something now. Nice. Nothing says Christmas

like this fucking song. There was a period in the 80s where you couldn't watch a movie trailer without this song being in it. Like The Secret of My Success

with Michael J. Fox. Yeah, that was a great movie. Yeah, it was a great movie. Remember Michael J. Fox did Cocaine in that? It was like, whoa! Wait, wasn't, aren't you thinking

of the one he did with Joe Jet? No, you're right. That's Bright Lights, Bright Lights, Because he did three in a row Back to the Future, Day for Night or whatever it was called. Bright Lights, Big City. Bright Lights, Bright Cities. He did three in a row, Back to the Future, Day for Night

or whatever it was called. Bright Lights, Big City. Bright Lights, Big City. Is that what it's called? Yep. Bright Lights, Big City. That's the one I'm thinking of. Yeah, Joan Jett.

And then he did, was Teen Wolf before Back to the Future or after? Might have been a bit before, but that was great too. I think Teen Wolf might have been the first one.

I love Teen Wolf. Teen Wolf is so fucking good. With, what was his buddy who was always looking for the, who always had the weed, the bag of weed or whatever

and he was shipping it out. And then his dad was in, like he was, his dad was like a constant, Yeah, character actor. He was constantly in movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you don't know, we don't know his name. Yeah. He's in a hundred movies but you don't know his name. You're fucking right. And I always, the other character actor

in that is his coach, his basketball coach. Yes, yes, yeah. You're right. It's a great movie, man. I fucking, you know what, I might watch that Yes, yes, yeah. You're right. It's a great movie, man. You know what? I might watch that over the holidays again. Win in the end.

You gotta say. You gotta win in the end. And he brushes off the pretty blonde, that nice white sweater, and goes to the closet lesbian. That was great, yeah. Wow, what a great song this is. Yeah, that...

Throw some balls in there. I feel like a DJ mixing it up here yes i fucking love your balls those jingle balls are great yeah tim and sid baby um do you do you have a tradition of watching christmas movies over the holidays like particular list of movies and it doesn't have to be like, you know, cheesy ones like Die Hard or Gremlins or something? Kind of. Like it's not too predictable, but there's a short list of movies

I will re-watch. And what would those be? I think the audience would like to know. Oh, I just watched I need the, but not the new one. I need the black and white one. Miracle on 34th Street. I've never seen that. I like it when the two dudes, okay. Jinko balls in that too? There's some Jinko balls in there. But there's a so, you know, I don't know. You must know the story.

But there's a scene where like two guys work in the post line. Like they just sort the letters on the conveyor belt in like the post office. And one guy catches wind. He's like, he learns there's this big trial where there's this guy who thinks he's Santa and he's on trial because they're trying to prove he's not Santa, Chris Kringle. Oh, is that the one? And then this guy, I think these are just regular guys sorting mail like you know regular goons or whatever and he's like hey you know we got like you know the 400 bags of uh

letters we have to santa that we have no we don't know where to bring them because you know it would be a good idea to get rid of those and he's like yeah go get like a bunch of trucks and let's let's get a bunch of people to load them in the trucks and bring them to the courthouse so we can get rid of them and give them to this Kris Kringle guy. Like there's a scene.

This is the big pivotal scene, man. Is this the one with the snot note because at the end it's like, and the bells ring and every time the bells ring

and Angel gets a ring. That's It's a Wonderful Life. Ah, whatever. I've only seen once but it's a pretty good movie but I only saw it once. Really? Yeah, I never saw that.

I never saw that either. So that one I like. I like The Polar Express where Tom? Yeah, I never saw that. I never saw that either. So that one I like. I like The Polar Express with Tom Hanks. I like that one. I find that freaky. I've seen it one time, and it was all right, I guess. It makes me cry. Wow, you go full on Christmas movies, eh?

Well, you want me to say Die Hard and Gremlins? No, I don't want you to say anything. I don't want you to say what you watch. I ask, that's why I want to know the answer. I like Bad Santa, but not with the kids. Although, James is I like Bad Santa, but not with the kids. Okay. Although James is ready for Bad Santa. I've heard that I would love that movie, but I've actually never seen it.

That's great. I think you can make a secret. I heard that. Yeah. It's great. I always enjoy A Christmas Story with the kid who wants the pellet, the Red Rider, which I've seen that one about a hundred times. Yeah, I've never seen it.

Some of it's filmed here, by the way. No desire. That one's probably number one with a bullet. Wow. What are yours, since you hate all mine? Oh, Four Christmases. Hey, listen, I'm not judging. I'm just saying. I haven't watched them.

What do you want from me? I do like your shirt, by the way. I need to say that. I will watch, for sure, Christmas Vacation, Gremlins, Die Hard, maybe Elf. Probably Elf. Elf is funny. I find Elf funny. Yeah, Elf is funny, I find Elf funny Yeah, Elf is alright That's probably it

You know what I usually do is I usually watch all three Lord of the Rings Oh wow Wow Excuse me, this year what I did is I got the extended Honky Honky the Christmas the extended the extended version of The Hobbit

all three of those movies and I've never watched any of them. My son who loves those things told me that The Hobbit ones are not very good

he told me. I heard that too but I was like hey I think He's upstairs let's get him on the third mic. He said if I gave

him a hundred bucks he still wouldn't do it so I don't know what the price is to get him on the mic. How about if I give him a hundred bucks? Go for it.

I'd love to have James on this podcast. Yeah, so I'm going to watch that this holiday, I think. All the Hobbits. And I really want to go see Creed. Oh yeah, the new Rocky. He's from The Wire, by the way. Oh, is he really? Yeah, he plays

Wallace on The Wire. Oh, okay. I want to... Yeah, I'll probably watch Creed. Looks good. That's not a Christmas movie, though. No, it's not. It's a movie I'll watch at Christmas. So I'm playing right now...

Johnny Bauer. The China Wall. This isn't Johnny Bauer singing right now. No, this is like a bunch of kids. Squirt, those little kids. They're rinky-dinks, I think they're called. It's like Johnny Bauer and the rinky-dinks or something a bunch of kids. Squirt, those little kids. They're Rinky Dinks I think they're called. It's like Johnny Bauer and the Rinky Dinks

or something like that. So this is one of the Rinky Dinks. Not sure that that title would fly today. Yeah, today that might not work actually. But this was like a radio hit in like,

I don't know when this came out actually. I want to say the 60s. 19 stupid year? Yeah, probably 1050 played the shit out of this. 1050 chump. So anyway, this is a, imagine today like50 played the shit out of this. Yeah, probably. 10.50 chump. So anyway,

this is a, imagine today, like, Rhymer coming out with a Christmas song that's played on the radio. Here's Johnny. No.

Poor Johnny. He's still with us, you know. I know. He's still spry, that fucker. I see him on TV. He is.

Every single fucking ceremony, they tried out Johnny Barber, as they should. Yeah, well, who else we got? As they should. Can't, you know, Daryl Sittler isn as they should. Well, who else we got? As they should. You know, Daryl Sittler isn't old enough. Red Kelly's dead, right? Is he?

Yeah. Well, he's also like 100 years old, probably, if he was alive. Because they used to bring him out quite a bit. But I think Johnny's the oldest guy, isn't he? Or at least the oldest, biggest guy, anyway. Yeah, he is the oldest, biggest guy. And then once he goes, then it's Daryl Sittler, right? And then once he goes,

then it's Wendell Clark and Doug Gilmore. Don't forget Mustache Man, too. Lanny McDonald. Oh, yeah, Lanny McDonald. Yeah, you're right, you're right. And the guy who hates MLSC or hates... Yeah, Dion. Or Keon. Yeah, Keon, Dave Keon. Yeah, you're right. You know what? If Keon was in play, it would be Johnny Bauer would then pass the mantle

to Sittler and Keon. Then they would pass the mantle to Clark and Doug Gilmore. And then to Sundin. And then to... Leo Komarov. Yeah. Who my son loves, but the bar is really low. Of course.

So, yeah, so that was Johnny Bauer. Hey, so since we last talked, I launched a Patreon account. Like, I actually... Remember I flirted in august with the idea of having a patreon crowdfunding yes i saw that project and then uh i was gonna do kicks kind of like a kickstarter and i was gonna do it after labor day and i changed my mind i'm like i don't want to do that like i'll just whatever and then i said let's try it yeah like how will i know and then what i thought is i'll try it and i'll share the inside details of all of it so that others will have like a blueprint

because there's no blueprint here. I don't know who to follow. Well, I'm sure there is a blueprint. There is for like name brand people like Jesse Brown, for example, who worked at the CBC and he worked in some main. So he has his experience cannot be mapped to mine. Just like Humble's and Fred's.

Are you suggesting you're the only guy who records a podcast in his basement that's asking for money? No, no, no. They're not disclosing the... I can't find disclosing of the real gains from such a thing.

to listen to a podcast. Why? Okay. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to share the details. So I need to give a shout out to the first patrons that we have for this podcast.

Oh, yeah. I have a little name here. And as... I'm going to treat the guy giving a dollar a as, like, I'm going to treat the guy giving a dollar a month, right? I'm going to treat him the same as the guy giving $1,000 a month who doesn't exist. And basically, that would be, I need a few of those.

So, Al Grego, who I believe is a musician, and he is a commenter who often promotes his band's appearance. In Toronto. I believe it's like, maybe Bradford or something. Bradford or something. Bradford, okay. So Al Grego, Hamilton Mike.

Thank you, Al. Thank you, Hamilton. Hamilton Mike at 1236. So this is the guy behind the newsletter 1236, which is a local newsletter I subscribe to, and he is a patron of Toronto Mike. Marcusar, who is a longtime commenter Mic'd. Mark Asar, who is a long-time commenter on the blog.

Mark Asar. So good for Mark Asar. Steve Leggett. So thank you, Steve. Way to go, Steve-o. L. Miller. I don't know what L stands for, but he or she, thank you. Very good, Miller. Mark Kluet. So Mark C is another

patron of Toronto Mic'd. Mark with a C, or Mark with a K and then a C? No, it's just a C there. Okay. Kluet. So Mark C is another patron. Mark with a C or Mark with a K and then a C? No, it's just a C there. Okay. Mark Kluet. And a longtime friend of the program, Rick C in Oakville. Oh, Ricky C. Yeah, he's a good man. So, and I heard Liz is threatening to do it if she could figure out Patreon.

So let me do the math. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. So that would be, if Liz comes through, that's nine people. So I had a chat with Ed DeSoc basically about, I have no expectations here, which he said was very good in Canadian. Very good to have no expectations. And then I said, you know, it's a slow start.

And he said, don't give up, keep at it. Like it's going to be a slow start, but keep at it. So I'm not giving up because there's nine patrons and I didn't have any expectations. Well, nine is better than zero, which is what you had a few weeks ago. Right. So I'm at nine now. Look on the bright side of things.

You're right. Come on, jingle those balls. I'm going to jingle those fucking balls. There you go. Oh, yes. Are you happy about Howard Stern re-upping for five years? Yeah. Yeah, I am.

I like his program. I think it's fun. I like his interviews. Certainly, it's a lot different, but of course it's going to be different. If he hadn't, would you still keep your SiriusXM subscription? No, I enjoy Sirius, but I wouldn't continue.

Sometimes I wonder what percentage of subscribers are there for that one man. Because actually, I was close, and I did a trial, and I was very close until I found a way to steal it. I think a lot of people are there just for him.

Yeah, I think they couldn't afford to let him go. I mean, 10 years ago, cause he's been there for 10 years. They had, what was it? 330,000 I think is what he had when he first started. Now they're close to 30 million subscribers.

That's amazing. I can't imagine that all those people are there to listen to, you know, commercial free Christmas music, you know, for the month of December. Cause CHFI has the same thing, but tons of fucking commercials.

Yeah. Which I can no longer stomach. Hey, I've got a question for you. You can talk over there. What is this? Julian, you know the guy from The Strokes? You know The Strokes? Yeah, yeah.

Great band. Do you like that band? Sure. You're not just ACDC. You like this? Okay, so I love that band. This is the guy from them who recorded this for like a Saturday Night Live,

like, I don't know, five to ten years ago. Oh, wow. But it's taken on a life it's a great track first of all it's a great christmas song so it's like a modern one of the few modern christmas songs that seems to have become a staple for me is this i wish it was okay for me and for others it's a it's it's no one i think the biggest christmas song out there right now is the mariah carey one that she did a few years ago oh for the movie everywhere she did that for uh Actually. Is that what it was? I think so. But it's fucking everywhere. What is your favorite Christmas song of all time?

The Pogues, Fairy Tale of New York. What's yours? I've got a few. And this is coming from a guy who actually doesn't like Christmas. So I'd put Mistress for Christmas. Oh, ACDC. By ACDC. It's a good who actually doesn't like Christmas. So I put Mistress for Christmas. Oh, ACDC. By ACDC.

It's a good song. I like Wham. Last Christmas. That's everywhere. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. And the very next day, you gave it away. I love that song. I don't know why.

It's a catchy little song. And then, you know what else I do? I also listen to fucking Band-Aid and Tears for Fears at this time of year as well. Oh, Band-Aid, yeah. Do They Know It's Christmas. Yeah, yeah. Which is so, listen to that song and it's so fucking arrogant and brutal and racist. Is that a Bob Geldof production?

I think so, yeah. Yeah. And Bono, I have a friend of mine who I work with who is African-Canadian, and she's a black woman, and she's really, really offended by Bono's particular line in that song. Which one? Tell me. I can't remember what it is, but it's something to the effect of, oh, aren't you glad it's them and not you?

She's like, fuck you, Bono. Wow. What a horrible, horrible thing to sing about in a Christmas song when you think about it. I will never hear that song the same way again. Aren't you glad it's them and not you? That might not be a word for it, but that's pretty much it. You know, Canada, like your friend there you work with, calling her African, whatever you call her. I don't actually call her African Canadian.

You can't because most black people in Toronto are either from Jamaica or one of the Caribbean islands. I think you're generalizing just as badly as saying African-Canadian. No, it's like a demographic makeup. Obviously, we have a lot of Africans. They're just black. Just say they're black.

Right. Is it wrong to say they're black? I'm saying you should not refer to a black person as an African-Canadian. I was trying to be funny. I've never said that before in my life, I don't think. Just when I'm recording you.

Yeah, she's a black person. I love black people. She's like, I'm a black person. If we could do, if we could do clips, if we had a production team, that would be an amazing clip

that we could use for a funny phone call. Oh, I love jingling my balls. Here's a song I like. This Christmas, the balls here, bells I balls. Here's a song I like. This Christmas, the balls here, bells I like. There's a song I like. The worst segue ever would be if I said, speaking of black people,

speaking of black people, James Brown has a Christmas song that I fucking love. Speaking of black people. What do you think of Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto? Here, let's play it a bit. I love this track.

I don't know if I've ever heard this. All right, let's listen together. Santa Claus goes straight to the ghetto. That voice, man. Hitch up your reindeer. Goes straight to the ghetto. It's a James Brown lyric. Santa Claus goes straight to the ghetto Is a James Brown lyric. Santa Claus

Go straight to the ghetto Fill every stocking you find The kids are gonna love you so Leave a toy for Johnny Leave a dog for me You never heard that? Never heard that song, no. It's a funky little number. It is. It's good. That's all I ask. Makes me bop my head a dog. You never heard that? Never heard that song. It's a funky little number.

It is funky. It's good. That's a laugh. Makes me bang, bob my head a bit. You should have had Mistress for Christmas. Yeah, I fucked up.

It's a fucking great song. It wasn't in my collection and I fucked a few and it wasn't there. I do have one for you in a bit. Don't worry. I have it for you.

Another. Do you know Elvis has an entire CD of gospel Christmas songs? Does he? I mean, he has multiple gospel albums, but he has a... There you go. Is this on it? Of course it is.

Not on the gospel version, no. Why isn't this your favorite Christmas song? Because it's a lame old Christmas song, that's why. Oh, Right. So great. Keep going. I want to hear you. No.

I'd rather sing Wham. Have I told you this? Did I ever tell you the story of when a couple years ago I'm in the car with James and Michelle, my two oldest kids, and we were talking about Elvis Presley, but I talked about how Elvis died.

Did I tell you? Elvis died. Oh, you told them? Yeah, and then I told them how he died. And for the whole conversation, they thought I was talking about you. Did I ever tell you this? So, true story.

Because somewhere we got, it's like an episode of Three's Company. Somewhere there was a disconnect. And I was talking, and I remember talking like I remember Michelle looks at me like Elvis is dead and I'm like yeah

Elvis is dead he's been dead a while and then and then when they finally they 100% thought I was talking about you

I was talking about Elvis Presley yeah true story a couple years ago that is really horrible when we stop recording before you leave I want to revisit that

that is really horrible I could be scarring I'm surprised leave, I want to revisit that. That is really horrible. I could be scarring. I'm surprised I never told you this. No. Well, maybe you didn't. Maybe I did. You're hearing it again for the first time. That's fucking great.

Oh, man. Poor kids. Poor me. Yeah, they seem really surprised at how I spoke about it. Because you're just like, oh, yeah, whatever. Because I was like, yeah. Meanwhile, it would have happened when you were two. I said it so matter-of-factly.

What were you two or three? Remember, Michelle said, that guy who comes in, your friend who comes and visits? And I'm like, no, I go, fuck no, Elvis Presley. How old were you in 77? Two? Three? Three. I was one year,

one day, one month old. No, one year, one month, one day. Wow. It's impressive you know that. That's good. Have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas. I like the girls in the back. It's good. Nice and high.

So I only loaded that up for you. Thank you. Appreciate that. There is a song, so I didn't want to load up like the popular ones. This is a jam-packed Christmas special. You can turn on CHFI right now and hear

White Christmas. Oh, yeah, that one too. White Christmas. The famous Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Which is called The Christmas Song. Written by Mel Torme. Oh, good for Mel. Which always reminds me of Night Court. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, with Bull.

So earlier in this episode, we're talking about Diane Chambers. He's dead, isn't he, Bull? Didn't Bull die? No. Bull's not dead. I'm pretty sure he's alive. I think it was one of his other bailiffs, the female bailiff. Oh, the...

Not the black one. I don't know. I know you don't... Isn't the hot-looking blonde girl? No. Isn't she a hot-looking blonde girl? She's still hot. I've seen her in something recently.

She's still good-looking. Yeah, the hot... That's what I said. She's alive. The hot-looking blonde one. I know, but... But she was not a bailiff. The other bailiff? Or was that the lawyer? She was a DA, assistant DA or something. Right's still good looking. Yeah, the hot. That's what I said. The hot looking blonde one. I know, but she was not a bailiff. The other bailiff? Or was that the lawyer?

She was a DA, assistant DA. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And that's Judge. What was Judge? Judge Reinhold. Judge. Judge Reinhold? But wasn't, what was the guy's name?

No, that's an actor. Yeah, Judge Reinhold is an actual person. Yeah. Harry. Wasn't it Harry? Who was great. Harry the Judge, right? Judge.

Harry Stone. Yeah, that's right. Harry Stone. Yeah, Judge Stone. Harry. Fantastic. But that show was amazing. And the Judge, right? Judge. Harry Stone. Yeah, that's right. Harry Stone. Yeah, Judge Stone, Harry. Fantastic. But that show was amazing and that was the same block. I used to watch Cheers

in that block on late Thursday nights or whatever the hell that was. After Family Ties and we talked about Michael J. Fox. That's right. This has been the NBC

Fucking amazing. If we just drop a Bill Cosby joke. You'd imagine we actually prep for this episode. Yeah. I'm going to play

a bit of a song and it's kind of long and we'll have to chat over it because it's that kind of song. It's going to be bad. So I didn't want to bring any of the classics that you can hear anywhere. We talked about, I didn't even want to bring Fairy Tale of New York because it is now everywhere. This has been my favorite song forever.

Christmas song forever. I can listen to that song outside the season. I can enjoy that song. I can do that for last Christmas. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. And the very next day, you gave it away. My love is sincere. I'm horrible with lyrics.

I can sing it loud and proud When the music's on I gave it to someone special So great Why were we surprised When he came out of the closet? He had two earrings back then I had Make It Big on the set

I love it when you go back And watch a Queen video Or George Michael Or Elton John Or Boy George And you're like How was it as a society? or George Michael and you're like, or Elton John or Boy George and you're like, how was it as a society? Boy George is a good one.

How is it as a society that we were surprised when this happened? Or Liberace. Yeah. Like who was fooling who? Yeah, that's fucking true.

It's horrible. It's true. I just imagine it would have been horrible for these guys to be living in a closet. Oh yeah, speaking of closets and gay, a show that season two of Transparent just dropped on Show Me,

which is the Rogers streaming thing, which I have for free for two years. So I watch a lot of it. And so I love season two. I love season one, Transparent. Haydow starring Hank Kingsley. He's the guy. Real name is. I can't remember.

Yeah, we suck. That guy. Fucking great actor and he's great in this and this is a great show. He plays a transgendered person? He plays a he plays Mora.

Right. He has transitioned and he she he is now she Mora gotta be careful of your pronouns

when you talk about it but yes she is Mora. Can we just quickly give a public service announcement? When someone identifies themselves as female you call them by a she regardless of what genitalia they have.

That's the way it works, people. It's not that hard. That's what I do. Maura is a she. And Maura, also my aunt's name, who's also a she. Because otherwise she would be your uncle. You don't hear a lot of Mauras these days. Although there's a Maura on Virgin Radio. I don't listen to Virgin Radio.

No, but she's still there. Okay. All right. This is... So, you don't hear this much. Is this Billy Joel? No. I love this fucking song.

And I can listen to this one off Christmas Season 2. All right. Who's it by? Tom Waits. All right. Is his son out with something now? Oh, I don't know. Is it his son?

Is it someone's famous son that came out with stuff? It's called Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis. That's a long title. It is. And it's fantastic. I'm not sure he thought that through. You have a couple more minutes, right? Oh, yeah.

I just wanted to see what you have. Do your Pac-Man watch. I have to be at home. Charlie, I'm pregnant. To get my cake. Living on Ninth Street. From a bakery. Right above a dirty bookstore. We'll do the rest of the podcast between his words.

Of Euclid Avenue. Euclid Avenue. It's fantastic. Stop taking dope. Dope. Quit drinking whiskey. Baby Jesus. My old man plays the trombone. Works out at the track.

I watched Talladega Nights on the airplane, and I was reminded how funny the grace was that he says at the dinner table that he gets into a fight with his father-in-law about why he always prays to the baby Jesus. Oh, right. And not the adult Jesus.

I like to pray to the baby infant Jesus. Like the fresh eight-pound, six-pound still covered in vagina fluid baby Jesus. That's funny. You know, this is a weird holiday. I was thinking about this on the walk of Jarvis

because he sees like a snowman or a Santa and he wants to run up and it's great to greet like Charlie. Charlie wants to constantly so we have Elf on the Shelf in the house.

And every time now you even just say Elf on the Shelf he immediately starts waving. Yeah, it's a great age. Well, they're all great age but it's really fucking interesting to watch them discover the world.

But this season, it occurs to me how ridiculous this season is. So Christmas, which is like, there's so much religion around it, which you and I think is 100% bullshit. So it's like, we lop that off. And then we, there's all this, so much commercialism tied

to it, which is also bullshit, but that's always there being marketed to you through some channel. So you've got the commercialism and you've got the religious nature of it, and then we invent this whole fable around it. My kid knows Santa says ho, ho, ho. He's not quite sure that he's coming tonight, but he's fucking coming tonight. Sure. Yeah.

You better. This whole thing is such a strange. The next thing you know, I'm wearing my Santa hat. And I'm in the spirit. Like, I feel it. Because Solible Family and getting together and having a good podcast of Elvis. That's why I was so sad when you bailed on me this morning. Hey, I'm glad to make this Festivus Miracle come true for you.

You made mine. And for all of our listeners. Both of them. I like how people are trying to, they really want to compare your podcast with the Humble and Fred podcast. Who's doing that? Not Dean. Didn't he ask you that question, remember?

Oh, yeah, he said, yeah. And I replied the only way I would reply to that, which is Humble and Fred are on SiriusXM, and I am not. End of the conversation. I didn't understand, like I didn't realize that we were in competition with them. Here's the thing. Since you mentioned Nadine,

I don't know who Nadine is. I honestly don't. I'm dying to know. That comment was left when I was sound asleep. I would love to know. It's somebody who's in the Humble and Fred camp. I'm not saying it's Humble or Fred. I feel like there would be more typos if it was Howard.

I just don't think, and I don't, I mean, it could be Fred, but I don't know if he's savvy enough to do the proxy server thing or whatever. He would just come as like a Brampton

like simpatico customer. Like, I don't think it's one of them, but there's someone in this circle of Humble and Fred and me doing not Dean's shit and talking about downloads,

like trying to create a piss fight or something. Like, I could give a fuck. Like, they're shit disturbing on my Christmas Eve. Let's clear the air right now. Do you consider Humble and Friend to be your number one competitor?

I don't have a competitor. Didn't we just discuss I was going to be paid in beer? I don't even drink. I barely drink. I drink like two Heinekens a month. I know.

And I'm being paid in beer. That's amazing. So competition. I hope you sign this deal because I will be a happy co-host. They have some, this brewery had some funny sounding names for their beer. They did. Well, they have a very different type. Oh, so you know who I'm talking about.

I absolutely do. Oh, wow. They have some good, they have good beverages. I wish I could say their name, but I don't want to give them away. I might have a parting gift for you today, actually. Because I don't drink enough. My brothers who are coming over tonight, I think, one of them is for sure, maybe two. They don't drink.

I can't just crack. Oh, they don't? They don't drink. It's weird. Your brothers don't drink? No wonder. And Monica's pregnant. She's not drinking shit because she's fucking pregnant.

How about Jarvis? Yeah, you know who wants to drink? James. He always gets a little sip. When I have a Heineken, he does sip and he wants more. It's like the forbidden fruit He loves it I'm like no

Tastes so good When it touches your lips He fucking loves it And you know He could probably take Handling it Why do you Like for a guy

Who's Mr. Toronto Who me And Mr. Canada Yeah The only beer you drink Is Heineken Cause I You could be so much

Better than this Well maybe I don't know You could be so much Better than this I don't claim to be Like a beer connoisseur You could get a local beer

You could at the very least get a Canadian beer. Mike. Sorry for disappointing you, but I'd rather have a coffee. Have you tried other beers, though? Okay, when I was in Germany, I had so much different beer. Can you try Canada, Canadian beers? Like what name? There are like a million craft breweries now.

There's so many of them. The one I tried is that one by the dome there, the green logo. Steam Whistle. Steam Whistle. That's a Pilsner. Didn't like it. And you may not.

But I did like the Mill Streets. There's lots of Mill Streets. I love Mill Street. Mill Street, I'm a big fan of Mill Street. There's a Mill Street I like. When I have, my go-to is

Mill Street Organic. But you're talking to me. Or the 100th Meridian. I usually go without completely. 100th Meridian. You love the traffic. Where the great plains begin. That's right. Bury me,. But you're talking to me. Or the 100th Meridian. I usually go without completely. 100th Meridian. You love the traffic. Where the great plains begin. That's right.

Bury me, promise me you won't bury me someplace I don't want to be and pick me up and transport me unceremoniously away from the garbage bag jeans. And lure me soundly and properly and get Rykuder to say my eulogy. Went in live. Gord Downie does it like twice the speed live.

It's amazing. Right. Fucking love that band. All right. I have been biking lately. Do we know what his name is doing in live. Gord Downie does it like twice the speed live. It's amazing. Right. Fucking love that band. All right. I have been biking lately. Do we know what his name is doing? Who, Gord? No.

Oh, the guy from Glass Tiger? I want to say Twisted Sister, Glass Tiger. Yeah, I just know. We don't know who he is. I have to find out, but I hope he's okay

because he's a wonderful musician. He's from Scotland, but he's like an honorary Canadian. I think he's a Canadian citizen. Does he have a citizen? He must be. He better. Come on. It'd but he's like an honorary Canadian. I think he's Canadian citizen. Does he have citizenship? He must be. He better. Come on. It'd be so easy if you're Scottish. He kept the Scottish robe.

So I, sometimes I, so what I did, I dumped every album from the Tragically Hip on my phone and I shuffle it now during rides. Like, just going through the whole catalog. Look at you. And I haven't, because I haven't listened to a lot of hip in the last couple of years. Look at you. I might surprise you. I generally run to stupid pop music.

Or like metal. Some of the hippest stupid pop music. You're right. Music at work, for example. You're right. But there's some good shit in there and some stuff I'd forgotten. Do we still think Rush is the greatest band to come out of Canada? No, Nickelback I think we've agreed on.

It might actually be Default. Oh, God. They were good too. My daughter likes Jacob Hoglund's band. What the fuck are they called? I wish I could yell out to her. I don't know who Jacob Hoglund is. Hoglund.

There's a... Oh, crap. Jonas Hoglund? Yeah, Jonas. He has a band? You know, Jonas Hoglund, who was like Sundin's winger for a while. Yeah, yeah. When Robert Reichel wasn't his name.

That's right, yeah. We really did not take advantage of Matt Sundin. What did they call that line? They called it something, too. Remember? Because they were... Oh, Sundin's winger for a while when Robert Reichel wasn't in the game. That's right, yeah. We really did not take advantage of Matt Sundin. What did they call that line? They called it something too, remember? Because they were... Oh, Sundin. The thing was

Legion of Doom in... The shit line? Was that what it was? In Philadelphia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they called them something else. Who, of course,

one of those guys ended up here, Renberg. Yeah, that's right. Mikhail Renberg. Yeah. You know, I used to watch the Fox telecast with the glowing puck and shit

when the Flyers, they always had the Flyers on there with the Legion of Doom and it was fun times. That was the Lindros years. That was good times. They were great. And I used to watch the Fox telecast with the glowing puck and shit when the Flyers, they always had the Flyers on there at the Legion of Doom, and it was fun times. That was the Lindros years. That was good times. They were great. And I used to root, like, LeClaire, Lindros, and Redberg. I used to love rooting for Lindros. Great fucking line.

What's wrong with Crosby? Is he going to bounce back? Because I root for Crosby, too, and he's been... You know, yeah, I'd say yes. I just felt weird. There's Crosby's balls jingling. All right, rapid fire wrap up. I know you got to go.

I hear, are you caught up on comedians in cars getting coffee? New season opens December 30th, but yes, I am open. Because I just read Obama is going to be on. Yes, December 30th is when the new season drops. Okay. As they say. I look forward to that. Can't fucking wait.

You know, on Apple TV, there is a Crackle app. So now I watch them on my big screen TV. It's fun. I bet you I could Chromecast it from Crackle on my big screen TV. You probably could. It's fun. Yeah, it's good stuff. You had a comment, a controversial statement you wanted to make about Jimmy Carter's cancer.

Is that correct? I haven't known. It just seems like I'm not sure I believe that he actually had it. Or that it's cured for that matter. I'm not sure exactly what I believe. So you think something smells rotten in the state of Denmark where I'm going to be later in January. I'm not sure if he actually

has it or doesn't have it or didn't have it. And if he did have it, I'm not sure it's cured. I'm not sure what to make of it. But I hope he is well. It sounds like he is, and I hope I'm wrong. Either way,

he could get a cold and drop dead at that age. He smells fishy. Yeah, he's like 115 years old. Yeah, 115 years old. He's an old dude, but he does a lot of good work. Yeah, and I actually,

I quite like the guy. I just think he's like a folk, he's a smart, thoughtful, folksy kind of guy. He teaches Sunday school every week. Yes, and I actually quite like the guy. I just think he's a smart, thoughtful, folksy kind of guy. He teaches Sunday school every week. Yes, but that's my thing. These guys who are all

thoughtful and intelligent and doing good for the world, I always get a little disappointed when there's that religious thing. How can you be that and still believe this? I don't know.

Merry Christmas. One more thing is, I mentioned Transparent which dropped on Show Me. I also am caught up on The Affair Season 2 which just ended last Sunday and I just want to say that I absolutely love The Affair. What network

is that on? It's on Showtime and in Canada you'd have to see it on TMN. Okay, so I could watch it then. You could watch it. No, I just don't I'm not going to watch shows that are on could watch it. Do you have a TV? No, I just don't. I'm not going to watch shows that are on network television anymore. It's not on network television.

There's nudity and swear words in it. Beautiful. Love it. Showtime. It's a Showtime show. Yeah. So, The Affair, which I... Back to The Wire real quick. McNulty from The Wire is the main star of The Affair.

Nice. Nice. Did you ever see Luther, as I suggested last year? Yes, I did. I did. The chick. And he's coming back. Is he? Yes. Because that's Stringer Bell, you know. That's right. It's Yes, I did. And he's coming back. Is he?

Yes. Because that's Stringer Bell, you know. That's right. It's all about the wire. That's his real name. The chick, the pretty sociopath chick, is the second star of the affair. Did you ever watch Broadchurch? Yeah.

I'm the one who told you to watch it. Yeah, that's right. You were. Did you watch season two? I haven't watched season two. No, I have not. So I got to watch season two. I also avoided the American version.

I want to watch the American version. But yeah, I want to see season two. Apparently that's it. And last thing for me, have you started listening to season two of Serial? It's on my list too. Oh, yes. We never overlap. You don't have a list.

I listened to season two. I am caught up. Part one. I listened to the second episode. Yeah, I'm caught up. Someone commented I saw on Facebook being like, oh, I don't have a list. I listened to season... Yeah, cut up. Part one. I listened to the second episode. Yeah, I'm cut up. Someone commented I saw on Facebook being like, oh, I don't like this season because there's too many spoilers in the media.

I'm like... No, it doesn't work that way. You're kind of weird to think like that. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. That's like saying I can't go see the Titanic. Yeah. Like, you know,

it's kind of neat that you're listening to all this background of shit that's happening in the media like real time. This guy's life is on the line. Oh, yeah. Like, don't is on the line. Oh yeah. Like don't go see the Steve jobs biography because you know how it ends. It's so ridiculous. Anyway.

Yeah. So far, you know, I'm, I'm listening and I think it's very well produced and I'm intrigued by that true crime type stuff. If you do it right, I really,

really dig it. So I'm in. Yeah, I'm in. I like it. I do. I have to admit, I have a,

my feeling is I'm still like, I'm learning the new story, the new thing. I'm into it, but I do miss the first like it. I have to admit, my feeling is I'm still learning the new story, the new thing, and I'm into it, but I do miss the first season story. It's almost like

I was so deep into that, I miss it. I hope they do a couple of recapped episodes. In The Wire, season one is all about the drug dealers in Baltimore and the cops.

In the second season, they go to the docks. And I remember the sensation, the first few episodes of season two, this is good, but I miss my those guys. Yeah, And I remember the sensation, the first few episodes of season two, this is good, but I miss my,

my those guys. Yeah, it's very, very different. And it was, yeah, and I remember like you're adapting,

it looked different. There's color in the docks and stuff like, I mean, the boxes, it just looked different at different characters, you know,

and Sabaka and all this stuff and you're getting used to the new, so that's sort of where I'm at with the cereal. It's good.

I just miss those guys. Are you excited to go see Hateful Eight? Yeah, I hear that there's an intermission in it. Have you heard this? Only the 70 millimeter version. How do I see? Is there a theater here I can see that in Toronto? Yeah, there's only one.

Tell me. At the Varsity Cinemas. I might actually make that a thing. Like we're... It's also... It's VIP. It's VIP. Only VIP. So can you lend me 20 bucks? The varsity cinemas. I might actually make that a thing. Like, maybe I make a boy go with me. It's VIP. Only VIP.

So, can you lend me 20 bucks? All right. I know we're going to wrap up. One last thing is, I know you have two girls. I know because I've met them. Yeah. And so, what I'm going to say now is, like, old hat to you for a couple of years. And you're going to be, like, expert in this.

But my daughter's 11 so I kind of missed it with her but my little 20 month old Jarvis is bananas for Frozen. B-A-N-A-N-A-S? Yeah.

For Frozen. Frozen is all over our house, man. Right. We're still getting Frozen gifts. I work very excited for Frozen 2.

Well, you can't hear this but the big gift James got him is a big Olaf. house, man. We're still getting Frozen gifts. And we're very excited for Frozen 2. Well, you can't hear this, but the big gift, James got him. He's a big Olaf. Oh, nice. He's going to fucking... It's Olaf.

He's going to shit Olaf. Olaf. I've actually seen it probably a hundred times because he really... I Chromecast that thing from the laptop. So he likes the...

He watches the movie. He's crazy about it. Nice. He won't watch... I put on Cars for him the other day, the movie Cars. No interest.

And he asks... He goes up to me and asks me for Frozen. He wants Frozen. I think it's the music or something. There's something about that movie. He fucking loves it. I like the song with the rocks. Let it go.

About Fixer Upper. At the very beginning? No, at the end. He's a bit of a Fixer Upper. It's horrible. I hate the movie so much. I've seen it a hundred times. I've only seen it once from beginning to end one time though.

There's worse out there. I'll tell you right now. There's worse out there. Sure. But still, come on. Some of seen it a hundred times. I've only seen it once from beginning to end one time, though. There's worse out there. I'll tell you right now there's worse out there. Sure. But still, come on. Some of those tunes are not bad. That Fixer Upper

is a good track. Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell have many, many, many, many ducats coming their way for many, many more years as they continue

to reprise those characters. So good for them. Well, they're probably going to be paid scale. Although, I guess in the sequels that's when you cash in. So you're right. That's it, man. So fucking lots of Frozen. I realize now I was going to be paid to scale. Although, I guess in the sequels, that's when you cash in. So, you're right. That's it, man.

So, fucking lots of Frozen. I realize now, I was going to ask you to rank Toronto sports teams in terms of the size of the fan bases in the GTA. If you could run down the list real quick. Why are you giving this woman... It's Freddie P, too. That's the problem. When Freddie P had her back and agreed. Oh, well, Freddie P thinks that there's only 20,000 fans in Toronto for the Raptors.

And all of them go to the game. I'm sorry, Freddie P. that there's only 20,000 fans in Toronto for the Raptors and all of them go to the game. I'm sorry, Freddie P. That's not how it works. But he thinks there's more fans in Toronto. Yeah, he thinks there's more Argo fans in Toronto than there are Raptor fans

in Toronto. So I just wanted to hear your list. I can't believe that. Because I didn't see it on the comments of that wonderful entry. Well, no, because it was a dumb argument.

That's why. Well, let's hear it real quick and then we'll do the Happy Holidays version. Leafs number one. Blue Jays number two. Wait, okay. If I had asked you this a year ago, was it still Blue Jays number two?

No. I agree with you 100%. It switched in 2015. Totally. They switched spots. And not to suggest the Raptors couldn't go back into number two if they have a long run. Or if the Jays shit the bed again. Right. So Leafs, Blue Jays, Raptors.

And then we get into the hard part. Then I'll say Argos, TFC. Maybe TFC over Argos. I have that debate too. I think it's TFC over Argos. They have the opportunity to leapfrog if they make playoffs again and actually continue to do well.

They signed it. They have a Giovincio. Signed another. Your Italian is spot on. Giovinco. And for the listeners, I. Giovenco. And for the listeners, Giovenco. Like the hand movement. Yeah, fuck it.

They signed a good player. Good Canadian boy. I like that Montreal guy, that big guy, Dragbo. How do you say his name? Drago. Amazing. Can we get him? No. He's Dragba. Stamko's going to be a name? Drago. Amazing. Can we get him? No.

He's Drogba. Is Stamko going to be a lead? Drogba. He's from Ivory Coast. Côte d'Ivoire. Yes, they're French. Fantastic fucking player. I saw like 10 minutes of that playoff game,

and I thought he was very good. He's very, very good. And then I had to get out of there because it was like 10-0 or something. Yeah, yeah. He's very good. I finally tuned in excitedly for a TFC player game. What do you put?

What's next then? Marley's or Rock? Marley's by a mile because at least there you can see like Nylander and stuff that people actually give a shit about. Yeah, but the Rock

at like 15K. Still? Yeah, into the ACC. Well, then I agree with Fred on this. He never said this, but I'm going to pretend he said this.

There are only 15,000 Rock fans in this and they all go to the game. I've never had a moment where I thought to myself, hey, let's check out a Rock game. Never in my life.

They're fun. I'm sure they are. They were a lot more fun when they were in the gardens. They could still be there in the tuna aisle. Frozen food aisle. And that... Jingle my balls, Mike. ...brings us to the end of our 151st show,

the Toronto-Miked Christmas Spectacular. Oh, Jesus just showed up. Hey, Jesus. Be nice to Jesus. A lot of people listening believe he existed. It is the Son of God. He's here. And he got the right hand of the Father and died for their sins.

It'd be nice. And Rose, more importantly, you can die for someone's sins. I'll do that today if you want. Right. But three days later to come back, that is unprecedented. And those three days are always, it's not, it's so real that it's according to the cycle of the moon. Not an actual day. Right. How does that work, people?

You can follow me on Twitter, at Toronto Mike. Ah, Jesus is jingling his balls. And Elvis is at Oshawa Elvis, even though I noticed he did not tweet his Festivus pictures from that account. He's jingling my balls. That's so nice, Jesus. Thank you.

Happy holidays. Merry Christmas and all the rest. Happy Festivus. Happy Festivus to one and all. Everyone go to patreon.com slash Toronto Mike and give $1,000 a month. Everybody. Happy Festivus to one and all. Everyone go to patreon.com slash Toronto Mike and give a thousand dollars a month.

Everybody. I'm going to go drink some beer. See you all next week. Fuck Christmas. Yes, I do. I know it's true, yeah. I know it's true. How about you? I'll have to get up and try.