Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - COVID-19 Update: Toronto Mike'd #597

Episode Date: March 16, 2020

Mike chats with Elvis, isolated in his north Oshawa bunker, about what's new with COVID-19.

Welcome to episode 597 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything. Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, a fiercely independent craft brewery who believes in supporting communities, good times and brewing amazing beer. beer. Palma Pasta. Enjoy the fresh taste. Enjoy the taste of fresh. What did I do there? Homemade Italian pasta and entrees from Palma Pasta in Mississauga

and Oakville. StickerU.com. Create custom stickers, labels, tattoos, and decals for your home and your business. The Keitner Group. They love helping buyers find their dream home. Daddy. Yes? Where are the tattoos?

Oh, I'll get you a tattoo later. Don't worry. Yeah, they make these great tattoos and Jervis really likes them. Keitner Group. Text Toronto Mike to 59559. And Banjo Dunk from Whiskey Jack. One of the most celebrated roots,

country bluegrass bands in Canadian music history. I'm Mike from TorontoMike.com and taking the place of broadcaster Jim Lang is my friend Elvis. What's up Mike?

How you doing? Elvis joins us from a secure remote location I'm in my bunker I'm in the bunker you're in northern hold on for a second there's also Jarvis here Jarvis I'll let you do this okay but you cannot blow into the mic or knock on the mic or tap the mic, okay? You can talk in a conversation with Elvis and I. Would you like to say hi to Elvis? How come you're holding on to the mic? No, I'm holding on to the shock mount, okay? Do you want to say hi to Elvis?

Say hi to everybody, quickly. Hi. Okay, so that's Jarvis. Hi, Jarvis. So, I guess you're in the same boat, Elvis. Do you got kids at home? I do. I have three children at home, and of course, Mrs. Elvis is a teacher,

so everyone's going to be home for at least three weeks because of the extended March break. So it should be interesting to see what happens. Right, and this is technically day one, but it feels like day 101. Yeah, it is. It's pretty intense. It's pretty intense. I ordered three board games from, I'm laughing because I know you, no one can see me, but I can see Mike.

I can just barely see what's happening off camera, and it's pretty funny. But no, we ordered three board games off of Amazon that arrived yesterday. And then a chess set is coming today, hopefully. So trying to stock up on some of the things for the kids to do, given that they're not even recommending that you go play on the playgrounds and stuff like that. Well, that's just it. Like normally here, you want to see there. I put a Jervis

camera on. So there you go. You can't even go to play. He took off his headphones. He doesn't know what's going on. Are you leaving now? Okay. So sit there like a normal guest, okay? Okay. So yeah, you can't even go to playgrounds, but we'll get into all this.

But, yeah, I got kids, and Monica's working from home, and I canceled Jim Lang. And, Elvis, we're going to reassure the people that... Daddy, daddy, this is too big for me. Okay. Well, I can't help you right now. Okay. Grow a bigger head. Okay? Come on, right now. Grow a bigger head.

Okay? Come on, Jarvis. Grow a bigger head. Elvis, thanks for joining me. I have a question, though. Famously, you have a Costco room, which is where you put toilet paper, right? I was just going to say, who's laughing at me now with the Costco room that I have. Yeah. It's been, um, uh, admittedly it's probably not as fully stocked as it has been in the past just because of, um,

you know, being busy and stuff, but yeah, we have enough paper towels and I think toilet paper to last a fairly long time. Um, so we're good. I think that it was interesting. I had to go to the grocery store this morning, which I did. And it was pretty empty. There wasn't very many people there. And while a lot of the shelves were empty, the produce department was produce and bakery was jammed. There was an overflowing amount of produce and the bakery, obviously. The bakers had been hard at work overnight. The Keebler Elms. Yeah, it doesn't seem as though we're in a position yet where there's food shortages, but I would imagine that's probably a big part

above why Trudeau did not shut down the border to the US. Yeah, that was the surprise. That was supposed to be a 1 U.S. Yeah, that was the surprise. So that announcement, so that was supposed to be a 1 p.m. news conference. It got pushed back a bit, so it really just ended before I came downstairs. But the big surprise was that non-Canadians are not to enter this country,

America being the exception, right? If I heard that all correct. Yes, yes. The U.S. is the exception for, but it seems like for now, I would imagine at some point in time in the future, you know, the borders will be closed altogether. I just think it's, you know, someone at a reporter, some of the reporter questions are pretty funny. I find them interesting. But one of them was around the idea of right now it's, you know, you need to, you need to, when you come into the country, you need to self-isolate. That's been a change in the directive. It's, it's now a must versus a suggestion. And the reporter asked like, how, how do you, is this, how do you make people do that? It's such a ridiculous question because, of course, the obvious answer is that you have police show up and arrest someone if they're not isolating, which, of course, is completely unrealistic.

I can only imagine what they're expecting people to say. But I can't even remember my point now because I was just laughing at that reporter I just thought that was such a ridiculous question but yeah the idea of of everyone you know isolating themselves as much as possible probably makes the most amount of sense but closing the so closing the border just doesn't seem to me to be a realistic thing given how many people go back and forth on that border every single day it's just not how not, how do you shut down those borders? I just can't imagine how that would happen. That's great. It starts with an earthquake.

Birds and snakes and airplanes. Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Monica just came down the stairs to see how is Jarvis. She doesn't realize everything is different, babe. Everything is different now. Jarvis is my new permanent co-host on this program. Everything is different.

Jarvis, do you like this song? Okay, on the mic. Okay. So, a little end of the world is in the wind. So, let's do a set here. Okay. So, Elvis is in the world is in the way. So let's do a set here. Okay. So Elvis is in his bunker in North Oshawa. I'm in the TMDS studios.

I've asked, I don't know how, but right now I just asked the two guests this week, I asked them not to visit. I said, let's postpone and do this properly when things get back to normal. Based on today, it can't happen soon enough, but I know they told us these schools

are shut down. By the way, my kids were going to be in daycare this week. So I paid for daycare during the March break for the two little ones, and of course, the daycares are also shut down. So, I mean... Do you get your money back? Yeah. Get damn right, I better get my money back. You can't charge me for these services and not provide them, so I'm going to get your money back yeah uh get damn right i better get my money back you

can't charge me for these services and not provide them so i'm gonna get the money back but i'm of the i'm of the opinion that uh this school won't be back until september i don't know i don't know i don't have a crystal ball but i'm uh preparing for uh this to be a lot longer than three months but uh well i mean my my question is um what happens so like let's just say kids go back best case scenario they go back on the 5th of april what happens to the school year does it get extended by two weeks and then you know of course that means it goes into the middle of July, which is not, you know, does anyone really want that?

I don't know what happens. Those are questions. I don't think anyone knows the answer to yet. Cause we don't know how long we've been out for. I'm booting Jarvis out of the studio. Jarvis, go to mommy. Come on.

You're fired. By the way, Elvis, since this is the first time we've done a remote episode, this is the first time you don't get to take some fresh Great Lakes Brewery beer home again. I know, and you have them placed right in front of you where I can see them on the screen. There's beer and lasagna, and trust me, I could use both of those things. That is one thing I did go and stock up on, by the way. And I would suggest other people, if you haven't done that, do the same.

I bought two cases of beer, some gin, and some wine. So we're good to go for the long haul here from an alcohol perspective. I know you quit Twitter, right? Yes, I did. Okay, you missed the tweet I sent Friday when I took my bike trailer to great lakes and i stuffed it man i got so much i saw that okay maybe his instagram too i i know i see i see twitter when i visit your web page so i i take a look at the right hand rail and and just scroll a little

bit and see your most recent tweets because there's usually some you're you're you're usually doing something that upsets other people so i like to i like to see what's going on there i try not to upset other people to be honest but uh i i did stock up so i have a lot of beer here i have a lot of beer and um yeah i don't get to give you a uh i know you love the palma pasta lasagna i don't get to give you one i do fantastic how many rolls of toilet paper do you have, Mike? Just normal amount. I was, uh, like normal amount. First, I don't have a Costco room to put it. Like I don't have any extra toilet paper. I don't have any extra, I don't have much extra anything except I have a lot of beer because I was,

well, I was going to, I was due to pick up more beer anyways. And I have a delivery of Palma pasta lasagna arriving tomorrow. Like, uh, and, uh And I have it coming tomorrow, which is exciting, but I did cancel the guest this week. So I think maybe if worse comes to worse, we can eat lasagna

for the next few weeks. Yeah, sounds like the plan. What is the... Shit, I was going to ask you something. Okay, serious question. Yeah. What is the deal with the toilet paper do you have a theory as to why people is it just the herd mentality here or what's going on i think i don't get it i think some people have a fear that they will get a lockdown order and their fear is i think is that i don't think they realize like a lockdown order and their fear is, I think, is that I don't think they realize like a

lockdown order still allows you to get to a grocery store or whatever. So I think there are people who are preparing for the fact they won't be allowed to leave their house for a long time. Don't you think? Gotcha. Like, I think that's where it's coming from. I think that's where it's coming from. Of the fear, though, of not being allowed out of your house for a long time, toilet

paper, to me, would not necessarily be at the top of my list. And it seemed to appear at the top of a lot of people's lists. Oh, I know. Very quickly. I know. So I don't know. It's not like COVID-19 causes diarrhea or something like that. Right.

Well, and the other thing, too, is I find it funny, like the stockpiling of, I mean, we can get into a whole conversation about survivalism and all that stuff because a buddy of mine is one and he's talked to me about all the things that i should have in the house regardless but the immediate reaction not only to get toilet paper but also bottles upon bottles of water is also interesting because as far as we know at this point in time like nothing is affecting the water system and so we live in a country that has water, or most of us live in parts of the country where you have water out of the tap that is entirely drinkable. And it probably is better than bottled water for the most part, or just as good. So I don't get that part either. I mean, it just seems like it's fear-based.

And still, I don't understand the toilet paper I really don't like you just want you're afraid of dying with a with a shit covered ass or what no and I think it's one of those things that steamrolls like you start you see other people uh hoarding toilet paper you feel like you better grab toilet paper while you can because it's going to be like a long shortage and it's like then you end up buying extra toilet paper because who knows when they'll get it back in stock. And it just becomes like it's steamrolls. You know what I mean? But yeah.

And the water thing, I'm with you. Like, first of all, I hate bottled water. Like, I have great passion. To me, if I see somebody cracking open a bottled water, to me, you might as well just lit a cigarette in my house. Like, it's like really, I find it really gross only because of how safe and delicious the tap water is

in my city. I'm a lucky guy. There's a lot of tap water. I'm a big tap water guy. As far as I know, I'm with you. This is not a natural disaster. This is not a hurricane or something. I didn't buy any water. I didn't buy any extra toilet paper.

I did make a trip. So here's what happened. On Friday, when things started getting crazy of grocery stores, I biked over to No Frills to buy food because the teenagers were here all weekend and they eat a lot of food and I needed food. And it was bananas. Like the No Frills was insanely busy

and the shelves were getting wiped. And I went to line up with my stuff and the lineup was you have to know my no frills for this to mean something but in the back by the milk is where the lineup began and we all okay and and i actually phoned monica on my bluetooth device i said i said monica do i have to stay in this and i told her the items i had and she said yes please and I ended up not being so bad. It was like I don't know half an hour or something but the next day

which is now Saturday if you're following along at home I went to that very same No Frills about 5pm I biked over to get a bunch more stuff. I had to get some cereal and stuff and it was completely like I was first in line at the cashier. There was no line up. So what's that about?

Well, I think, again, I think it's just that it's the whole fear-based thing. But also I think people might be understanding that, hey, if you don't need to go out anymore, like don't go out. And it seems like there's a bunch of people that are taking that advice. But similar to me, I did a regular grocery shop like I normally would on Friday evening, which is I pick Friday evening because it's normally pretty dead. And it was, it was jammed. There was a lot of people that I didn't have to line up at the back of the store like you did, but there was, it was worse than a, it was worse than a Saturday afternoon and Saturday afternoons for those of you who grocery shop during that time that time of the weekend you know it's pretty busy at that point um so but then i went this morning because i had to i had to go and um there was hardly anyone there i i waited for 30 seconds for the person in front of me to finish

cashing out so and like i said the produce section was just it was clearly um they had received a delivery because it was just packed or no one's eating vegetables anymore they're all eating fucking non-perishable goods well they're stocking up on non-perishable goods what is the uh like tell us the chain that you uh grocery shop at was it costco loblaws loblaws okay so i always think rich people go to loblaws and poor people like me go to No Frills. Well, technically, it's the great Canadian superstore. And I go there because I collect PC Optimum points. But so do I. I collect those as well. In fact, yesterday, I went back to that same No Frills three days in a row. Look at this.

No frills. So three days in a row. Look at this. And I bought $36 worth of stuff because grapes. My daughter who I want to say, oh, can I say? Yes, of course. It's my show. Happy birthday to my beautiful daughter, Morgan, who turned four years old yesterday.

I saw the picture of you and her on your blog and it was a very nice picture. Michelle took that on Saturday saturday she took that photo and uh yeah i like the picture too so i shared it now happy birthday morgan morgan is like addicted to grapes it's like her heroine she's so i had to buy a bunch of grapes yesterday and i had i'm very excited to tell you i uh even though the tally came to 36 i was able to use 30 of points and i only paid six bucks isn't that great look at you you're you're so that is one thing that i did consider i'm like if the world is going to shit right now right um maybe i should use my um maybe i should use my pc optimum balance and not carry over any points.

What's the point of carrying over points? I always think burn them while you get them. What is the point of holding on to them? I don't know. There's something about me that's waiting for the big shop. You want to know how many points I have right now? Yeah, sure. I'll tell you.

Tell me how many dollars worth of points. Sure. $250,000 in 18 points, which is redeemable for $250. Dude, just spend it. I know you have this... I was on your face with my desk.

I can tell you I spent that $30 yesterday because I pay... I don't like it to build up too much because I figure use it because you never know like we really like we could all be done like let's just go so I use them instead of hoarding them you're hoarding points and I think that is a bad

idea can I play an ad so I'm hoarding oh yeah you know what's hard to do forget about the toilet paper I'm hoarding points you can see me right because I can't see you but you can see me yes I am struggling Oh yeah, you know what's hard to do? Forget about the toilet paper. I'm hard in point. You can see me, right? Because I can't see you, but you can see me. Yes.

I'm struggling with the new rule that we have in this home and in life, which I'm really struggling with, is the do not ever touch your face rule. It was easy for me to stop shaking hands with people. I implemented that about a week ago. No more handshaking. or hugs, by the way. But I also have a new rule where I don't touch my face and it's really hard. Like right now, my nose is a little bit itchy. Like I want to scratch the side of my nose, but I'm not supposed to touch my face. Have you stopped touching your face? No, I can't do that. And I also think that as long as I'm clean, um, like my hands are clean or whatever,

then touching my face in my house is okay. You're disgusting. He's trying to right now, folks, you can't see it of course, but he's, he's drinking the hand sanitizer. Actually,

uh, we're live on Periscope right now, which means some people did see that. It's not just, uh, the video is not just for, for Elvis only, but, uh, but okay. So now that I did that, even not just uh the video is not just for for elvis only but uh but okay so now that i did that even though i know hand washing is far superior but i can't i don't

want to leave and go wash my hand right now so now i can use my nose like that like that's okay what i did i hand sanitize okay good just want to check in okay so lots here i want to cover but first thing i want to say uh i want to i want to say that uh when you listen back to the previous two episodes of toronto, the two I recorded last week, they're great episodes, but in each episode off the top, we talk about COVID-19 and they really didn't age well. This thing is changing so

rapidly. It's like you time stamp a COVID-19 discussion on a Tuesday and then you listen to that, let's say you're five days behind on the podcast, or if you're like Elvis, you'll never get to it, but if you're five days behind, you listen to it as like, oh my God, like it's such a, like, like the, like we were talking about how we're no longer shaking hands anymore. But now it's like, I'm, I'm doing this, uh, remote with you and your

bunker. And I told Jim Lang to, to take a hike, take a number. take a number, we'll get to you when things return to normal. So things have evolved rapidly. Do you want to take a moment and just tell us when did you start working from home, where you're at now in the Elvis household with regards to COVID-19 practices? Sure. So a lot of the guidance that I've been receiving

in terms of working from home and whatnot have obviously come from work. I work for a very large tech company that has some pretty high up connections with the healthcare industry. So we're getting some what I believe to be some really good advice and really good guidance. really good advice and really good guidance. Um, and ultimately we were told to, it was a recommended work from home, I think about a week and a half ago, maybe two weeks ago. Um, all travel was shut down two weeks ago. Um, and in order to travel for business, you need VP approval, which was certainly not the case before. So I've been, you know, given the amount of travel that I do, I do work from home a lot already. But I guess things sort of really sort of took a crazy turn, I guess, for lack of a better term, last Thursday when the schools shut and they announced the schools were shutting down and all that other kind of stuff. I guess that sort of 48 to 72 hours where Tom Hanks got diagnosed and then Sophie Trudeau

and, you know, all that other sort of stuff. It's crazy. It is crazy, Mike. Like, from Friday to now, the number of cases in Canada have doubled. It's still a relatively low number, still about 400. But they just announced that three more people died while we've been recording in Canada. So now it's four people in Canada who died from one. So yeah, it's ever-changing and super quick.

But yeah, we work from home 100% of the time at this point in time globally for our company. There's a spider on my table. Hold on. No, this is happening. What is going on? This is the craziest show ever. Okay, so I don't want to unplug us and everything. How big is the spider?

Like, not a tarantula or anything, but big enough that I don't want to... Hold on. I'm going to try not to... Priority for me is not to unplug this thing. Hold on. What would concern you more? If there was a tarantula or COVID-19? Are tarantulas remind me? Like, black...

Is a tarantula poisonous? Remind me. I should know this right i feel like uh some of them might be but i don't i think black widow is the one that kills you more doesn't it i don't know black widow baby okay uh sorry i didn't hear anything you said because the damn spider that was distracting me but uh yeah i'm i'm agreeing with you that things are changing so rapidly so i thought it would be a good idea to just record one of these periodically while you're bunkered down and while I'm bunkered down here, just so we could like talk through things as it changes.

Like, are you now all in on the social distancing? Like, other than maybe slipping out because maybe you're out of food? Are you going anywhere? Yeah. I am 100% in on the social distancing, and as far as I'm concerned, my family and I will stay in our house until... I think the one thing for me

that sort of is a good indicator of what we should do or not do is the school is being closed. That seems to be a pretty good indicator of whether or not we should be, you know, hanging out with other people. I can only imagine at some point in time in the near future, you know, the other thing that I think will be a big milestone is when restaurants close. We've seen other communities do that. And I think the Prime Minister and the people on CBC made a really good point. And I would agree, is that I think people are maybe

looking for consistency as it relates to what shuts down and when. But the reality is that a lot of this is community-based. And community, I'm putting in quotes, because it could be a province, it could be a number of provinces, it could be a country. But the reason why New York is shutting down bars in Ireland is because the situation there is worse than it is here. So maybe we don't need to yet. But I guess you could look at it the other way and just say, like, hey, why don't we just go all the way and. Like a bandage.

Like, let's just. Everything. Right. And you don't have to worry about it. Right. I actually thought today that might be the announcement we get. Like, I was a tiny bit underwhelmed

by the Trudeau announcement because I was expecting far stricter measures and was ready for, like, true shutdown. Because, I mean, you and I are kind of being responsible here. Although, I will tell you, I'm still biking. Like, I do... I did it today.

Like, so I had... That's one thing is, like, I got on my bike and I went and I came back and uh I'm still doing that so uh just I don't know if that's acceptable really a bad thing for you to go outside is it it's just it's the human interaction that's a bad thing right right well that's why I'm biking because I'm I mean I'm not having any human interaction and I and I yeah and I'm not taking the kids to playground but i think i would take the kids uh for a walk right can i do that are you would you take the kids for a walk this morning all right i'm just trying to make sure i'm not breaking any rules here so

for a walk this morning but what we did is is we did not play on the monkey bars, which is what we probably normally would have done. And when we did see someone walking down the same side of the road as us, we just crossed over to the other side. Were you? Yeah. So it wasn't like, you know, it was multiple people, but we just, you know, played it safe. Now you have elderly parents, correct?

Yes. Yeah. Elderly sick parents. So what is the protocol there? What's happening there? Well, unfortunately, my father discovered that his garage door opener was not working on Saturday, I think it was. garage door opener was not working on Saturday, I think it was. And so of course, who wouldn't go to Home Depot and order a new garage door opener on the same day that he finished this month's cycle of chemo. So that was his decision. His decision was to say, fuck it, I'm just going to

keep doing what I'm doing. Not entirely sure that was, you know, something that I was super happy about. But my brother and I have just asked them to not go out and whatever they need, we can bring it to them. Like, there's no reason I, I see today on the CBC that a doctor was saying like, listen, it's not, it's not a lockdown. If you need to go out for something that's essential, like food, like go for it. Just be smart when you're out there. Okay, so if they need groceries, why not send my brother or I to go for it

as opposed to an 81-year-old person who's clearly compromised from a health perspective to go do that himself. So that's the protocol there. How about you and your mother? Well, my mom, who is 70 on the nose, she came over here yesterday to see her granddaughter on her fourth birthday. But it was very different than a normal visit

in that, yeah, we didn't do the hugging and kissing that you would normally have in such a visit. But she definitely was in the house. So the expression I would say, I grandmothered her in, I guess guess as somebody who could be in this uh ecosystem or whatever and uh yeah she was here so with with just the immediate but we did cancel the family party that would be like more people collecting here to have a party for morgan that got canceled and And Jarvis is turning six very, very soon, and his Chuck E. Cheese party has been cancelled.

Oh, no. Is that because Chuck E. Cheese shut down, or because you didn't want to shut it down? Oh, I don't know. Actually, now that I think about it, I just assumed we did that, because we would be doing that. I don't know if Chuck E. Cheese shut down, actually. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, man.

Fucked up. Now, more and more questions here. I guess I'm asking, I guess a lot of this is you, every day you see what comes and what's next. But yes, we got the three-week order regarding school, which of course is a minimum three weeks. And I guess that will get extended as necessary. But just using my common sense, like I joked earlier, but I wasn't really joking. I don't, uh, I'd be surprised. Uh, I think I'd be surprised, uh, pleasantly surprised if we could all go back to school, uh, before, you know, September, you know, I think that's, I think we're looking for a lot, a lot longer shut down than, uh, the three weeks people are bitching about, but I don't have a crystal ball.

Maybe I'll get one. Do you have one? don't have a crystal ball. Maybe I'll get one. Do you have one? Do you have a crystal ball you can send me? Are you there? Elvis. Elvis, don't leave me hanging here. I thought you just weren't laughing at my joke because it wasn't funny.

Elvis, where are you? I can edit this out of the podcast. I can't hear you, so I know you say you're here, but here. I will call you back. I'm going to hang up on you and call you back, and I'll edit this out of the podcast. Now I'm going there, and now I'm calling you back. And, huh, maybe my Bluetooth dropped. Oh, I can see, I can see you.

Okay, so say hello. Hello, can you hear me? I can see you now. I don't know if I want to see you. Hold on. Okay, can you hear me? Yeah, I can see you now. I don't know if I want to see you. Hold on. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you now. Okay.

Yeah, I was going to say I'm going to edit that out. Look at that. I can see you again. I like that beard. It's been trimmed, eh? Yeah, it is trimmed. A little disappointing. I don't know what happened there. I don't know. All right. So I it is trimmed. A little disappointing. That's weird. I don't know what happened there.

I don't know. All right. So I'm going to play a little clip. So is it still true that you do not listen to Toronto Mike? Even though you have all this time over there, you're not listening to Toronto Mike. Well, that's the thing. It's like just because I'm at home doesn't mean I have all this time. You know, like this week I'm off for March break. I did take this week off, so I'm not working.

But yeah, I mean, I still have to work. Okay, because we have a new FOTM who's been on many shows the last month. But this voice will probably be new to you. But I'm speaking of Banjo Dunk, Duncan Fremlin. And if you would come here today, I didn't invite you. You know, we're self-isolating or whatever we're doing. But if you were here, next time you're here, I'll have a book for you that Duncan wrote

about the good times he's had with Stomp and Tom Connors. But he recorded an ad. So let's listen to something that Banjo Dunk recorded for us yesterday. Sounds good. Hello, Toronto Mic listeners. Duncan Fremlin here from Banjo Dunk headquarters. As of this recording, much of the world is progressing rapidly toward a lockdown like we've never

seen before. Having said that, I can think of one local group of friends that will continue to assemble many times each week without compromising the health of our neighbours. I'm referring to the Toronto Mike podcast. There's no crystal ball telling us what tomorrow or next month will look like, but I do know that there is one other activity totally safe from the virus. It's called reading.

I'm kind of partial to my own book, My Good Times with Stompin' Tom, and yes, it is still for sale. There are 39 stories, not too long, not too short, kind of perfect for keeping it on the edge of the tub, if you know what I mean. It's $20. Go to hellooutthere.ca, click on New Book, follow the prompts, and I'm pretty sure I'll have time

to put it in the mail almost immediately. And one more thing, stop hoarding. We're in this together. That's a special message for you, Elvis, and all the stuff you've been sticking in that Costco room. Is he talking about reading

his book while you're going number two? Oh, is that what the joke was? I wasn't sure. Is that what he's talking about? he said while in the tub if you know yeah i think that's what he's talking about maybe that's talking about pooping which none of us can do anymore because we have no toilet paper and no i do not hoard for the record it's just it's a natural sort of like you know just making we have three kids and who knows you could have You could have, from a paper towel perspective, you can never have too many paper towels.

No, I hope they're good. I hope they're good for the environment, man, because we go through paper towels like nuts. We put them in the green bin, so I think they're biodegradable, right? I'm sure one of your listeners or readers will tell me if they're not. No, I'm sure they are. I do that, too. My paper towels go into the green bin, so they better be. Okay, good.

Yeah, good. The other alternative, if you do run out of toilet paper, because we are not losing our water, you could just have a shower after every dump, right? That's what I said too. Yeah, I was like, really? If you're going to take a number two and you have no more toilet paper, then just go in the shower.

Right. Probably the best way to keep yourself super clean anyway. Well, this tells you how dumb I am is that I made this great comment yesterday. So all of us were together, all six of us. And I just said, hey, man, I'll just start. I would just have a shower. Like, what, you go once a day and you jump in the shower, you get clean as a whistle. It makes more sense anyways, probably.

once a day and you jump in the shower, you get clean as a whistle. It makes more sense anyways, probably. And then Michelle, my 15 year old daughter told me that I can't say the word. Hold on. Women.

Women. Yes, you got it. I think you did. I've been practicing. Women wipe after every day, but women wipe after pee. Did you know that?

Yes. Yes, I did. So are they jumping in the shower after every pee? Did you know that? Well, all joking aside, I've been teaching my three-year-old to do that. So I am well aware. I have two daughters. I know all about these things. I know all about women's anatomy.

But okay. Fantastic. Did you know that? I don't know why. Because I was just talking about after number two you can go shower and they're like, oh, you have to shower after number one. I realized realized oh yeah

very astute of Michelle to point that out to you hey would you have listened to the Jim Lang episode because that's what was supposed to be happening right now I really like Jim Lang yeah he's a funny dude I like him I like him as a sportscaster I never listened to him on the radio I know he's been on the radio for the last

however many years up there in Richmond Hill is it where he's been on the radio for the last however many years up there in Richmond Hill, is it? Where? What's going on up there? Isn't that the radio station that Jim Lang was on in Richmond Hill? Was it? Yeah, I think it's Markham. I'm just goofing because

I have fun at that station. I actually think they broadcast out of Scarborough, actually. Oh, really? I think so so would I have listened to it? I don't know in theory it sounds like a great episode would it have been better

than this episode? I think so I think so I don't even know if this will happen do you think there's an exciting concert happening April 16th at Zoomer Hall I don't even know if this will happen. Do you think with a concert, there's an exciting concert happening April 16th at Zoomer Hall.

Does that get cancelled? What does your crystal ball say about that? I'm going to guess yes. It sounds like, I mean, the one thing that I'm seeing a lot of is people taking the CDC's recommendation for public gatherings to not happen for greater than 50 people, I think I see, excuse me, for the next eight weeks.

So a lot of people are saying that that's sort of a, right now, the guideline for, you know, bigger things like concerts or sports to come back, but also for, you know, likelihood for schools and stuff to come back to. Okay, because there was supposed to be a big show. The Whiskey Jack presents stories and songs of Stompin' Tom April 16 at Zumer Hall. And my worry is they're going to, well, hopefully it's just postponed. So, you know, stay tuned. HelloOutThere.ca for updates. But hopefully this does eventually happen. But what else sticker you so this is a website so this thing isn't shutting down you go to sticker you.com you

upload your image and you can get like stickers and decals and you've seen the decals back behind me elvis you probably have several toronto mic stickers uh in your collection so yeah i love these guys sticker you.com uh keep keep giving them their business they're a great company and this one here i heard because of this economy that we're all kind of dealing with now that the uh interest rates get cut which actually helps to uh bump up uh property uh what am i trying to house cost of homes what am i trying to say? House cost of homes? What am I trying to say here? So essentially... Making it cheaper.

Right. So, but people, well, yeah. So if you are thinking it's time to get the wheels in motion to eventually sell, even if it's, you know, when things get back to normal, get those wheels in motion, I highly recommend that you text Austin Keitner from the Keitner Group. Toronto Mike is what you text. All one word to 59559 and start engaging Austin Keitner from the Keitner Group. Toronto mic is what you text, all one word to 59559 and start engaging Austin Keitner. This might be

the ideal time to have some phone conversations of Austin as you kind of set things up for when things do return to normal. On that note, Elvis, can you spend a moment maybe we talk about the fact that things will get back to normal

at some point. There are a lot of people listening who have a lot of anxiety, for example, or I was Cheryl on the open mic was, uh, telling us all that, uh, she wanted to die because her grocery gateway delivery was, uh,

delayed. And, uh, her big, her big, uh, entertainment is sports and there are no sports too far away right now. I guess

I just want to let people know that we're all in this together. We're all going through this strange upside down backwards world and everything is different. I mean, Jarvis was on this episode of Toronto Mike. That kid is supposed to be in school right now. Although it is March break, but he was going to be in

a camp all week but uh things will return to normal at some point right dr elvis absolutely i i really believe that but i think that there will be some changes hopefully in terms of the way in which we just do things as a society like one great thing that can come of this is that we can hopefully eliminate the whole, uh, stupid ritual of shaking each other's hands. Um, that, that has always seemed a little bit weird to me, although I was thinking this morning as I was, uh, getting ready to, um, uh, headed to the grocery store, I have to admit that I, there are, there are that there are parts of me that are concerned

about, I think just, I don't know, it may sound a little bit weird, but I manage a team of just over 30 people and everyone is in the United States. And I have to admit that, of course, my primary concern is with my family, but I'm also concerned of the people that work for me and just hoping that they are safe and that they're taking the right precautions and they're not, you know, putting themselves in harm's way for whatever reason. And just having this sense of, I guess, a little bit of anxiety or uneasiness about me not being able to control the situation entirely. um, uneasiness about me not being able to control, um, the situation entirely. Um, but I was thinking this morning, like, man, when I travel to the different offices that I work in, the first thing I do is I literally go to every single person in the office and I give them a big hug. And does that change? You know, do, should I, should I not put someone in a position because of who I am, like my title? And if they're two levels below me, they're probably feeling obligated to return the hug.

So maybe it wasn't even a good idea for me to do in the first place. But certainly now from a health perspective, is that something that changes? So I do believe that we will get through this, of course, and things will return to quote-unquote normal. But I imagine that there's probably going to be some longer-term changes to the way in which society just engages. They also say that there very well could be some changes to the way airlines deal with passengers. And this could be an opportunity for us to make some of those positive changes that maybe we've wanted and stuff. So who knows? But yeah,

I think you're right, Mike, we're in this together. We're going to get through it together. And I think we'll, you know, come out the other end and things will get back to normal relatively quickly.

And if any FOTMs run out of toilet paper or paper towels, you can hook them up. I totally, well, that's the other thing too. As I was hearing on the news, like I think it was Justin Trudeau actually was saying that if you have to go out to get groceries, go for it. Like there's nothing stopping you at this point in time, but the right thing to do is to also ask your neighbors

if they need anything so that they don't have to go out as well. So yeah, I think if we, you know, the Toronto Mike community on the, on the blog, if people need anything, like I'm healthy, I have a car, you know, you're healthy, you have a car. Um, there are things that we could do for one another for people who, who can't, um, uh, maybe get around as easy or maybe just don't want to because, because for whatever reason it happens to be. So who knows? It should be,

it's going to be interesting regardless. And I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm done with the handshaking. It's over. Like it's done. I'm done. What,

what is, what is your, what is your alternative? Is it the elbow? Is it the fist bump? Is it the foot touch? What is it? It bump is it the foot touch what is it it's definitely not the foot touch i'm not doing any foot touch that seems really stupid and the elbow i don't even i think that's awkward a fist bump when i broke my pinky i was moving to the fist

bump anyways and i liked it there uh and i went back to the handshake because of this social expectation that i show how strong and manly i am, how masculine I am with how I can crush your, I can take the crushing of your hand. Like when you saw Trump and Trudeau do that handshake and, you know, Trump, you know what I mean? Like it's all this whole machismo or whatever.

Like, so I'm not, I now that COVID-19 has given me this glorious opportunity to just bow out of the whole thing. No pun intended. Cause a bowing is not a bad idea, but I actually think I'm going to do like a wink and a nod.

Like a wink and a nod. What about it? You in? Wink and a nod. So I think I'm going to do the elbow thing, because the fist bump still transfers germs. Oh, yes. So I think I'm going to do the elbow.

And it's not like, you're doing like a Randy Savage off the top rope kind of elbow. Right. Um, this, let me turn on my camera again. So you can,

yeah, I can see you. I guess I could see that. Okay. So now I can't. Okay. Yeah. Now you're back.

Yeah. Yeah. Like bash brothers. So like, yeah, I kind of like bash brothers, but what happens? Okay.

So next time I come over to do the podcast, like, we hug each other. Yeah, but I think that's different. We're good friends. That's different. Like, I'm still going to hug the people I love, my four children and Elvis, but I'm saying with the Jim... I'm honored to be in that group. honored to be in that group like the jim langs okay jim's jim would have got a handshake if this was a different uh you know all the way back to two weeks ago but now jim's getting a uh like a wink and a nod is what jim will get when at what point in time does monica get the elbow does that ever happen oh We'll see. Okay.

So I was making a joke there, but seriously, I had asked you last week if, or I can't remember how it came up, but you had mentioned that Monica was still going to work. Right. Now there are some companies that are still making their people go to work because they have to, or because the company is just, you know, sticking their head in the sand. If she was going to work right now, what would you do? I mean, I feel like there could be, forget about the whole jokiness of whatever we're talking about,

but if she has to go out into the public, when she comes back home, when she comes back home, does she then self-isolate at home? Because she's got kids and you and, or, or vice versa. Like if you go out and happen to, you know, bump into somebody in, you know, in no frills in the back of the store in the milk section, like you then self-isolate. No, I don't think like, I don't think we're there yet.

Like I think it's, it's different if you've come from away, like if you've come from outside the country, I think a 14 day self-isolation is important right now. But I don't think we're at that point where if I bump into someone at the no frills, I got to, you know, I think it's just stop, don't touch your face and make sure like, for example, I went on this bike ride, which I never left my bike. And when I walked in, I was like going into surgery, like my arms are like this and I wash my hands, right?

So I don't want to get to that point where, you know, so we're not there yet anyways. And things do evolve quickly here. But I do want to ask you, that's a good point about the people who work. Because we're now talking to some people who can, like, I know Monica, for example, my wife, she's working from, well, yeah, she's actually working from home today. working from home today so she's working from home and she's receiving her full uh pay to work from home which is great because me and her are helping with the kids taking turns and stuff because i'm doing a little work too theoretically right now i'm doing work by talking to you which is the best work ever but like i'm uh i don't know if you know this but i run my own business and if i don't do the work i don't get paid and i was doing some math on gigs that got canceled this week.

And I'm out an easy $2,500 this week, okay? Just based on this COVID-19 thing. And I'm not saying, I'm not telling everyone they should go to my Patreon and pump that up, but that would not be a bad idea. But I am saying that I'm lucky that Monica gets her full pay and we can afford for me to take a temporary cut while we wait for

this thing to resolve itself. But there are probably people listening to us who, I know the daycare workers, I know the people who take care of my sweet Morgan, they got the notice to shut down for three weeks and none of them get any money for this three weeks. They're actually not paid for three, it's supposed to go on EI, I guess, for this three weeks. And I was just thinking there's a lot of people who are going to take a real tough financial hit

on the short term because of the gigs that'll dry up or because they don't get paid because they don't work. And then there's that whole group of people who like to look at their, I don't know, their RRSPs and their stocks

who probably should stop doing that for a little while because that's taken a big hit. So you got this kind of financial hit coming from a couple of different directions. In addition to this whole anxiety about, you know, I don't want to get sick and get COVID and then go into the self-examination, like there is a whack of anxiety flying around from a million different directions. So what do you say to these people? Do you have any reassuring words for the people who are worried about their bank

accounts right now, paying rent? There's a million things there. This is quite literally the same question that was asked at the prime minister. I'm not sure that I'm in a position to actually... Listen, the part that really is shitty are the people who just say you are going to retire in the next 12 months.

Right. Like, oh my God. I think when the stock market took a similar type of hit back in 2008, it took about four years to regain the losses. So we're looking at another four or five years that it provided, it doesn't go even shittier than it is now. So, um, yeah, I mean, for, for, you know, for a small business owner like yourself, hopefully this is where, you know, um, the government steps in and is able to help a little bit.

It sounds like based on what he said today, that there's going to be announcements over the course of the next couple of days that are going to be aimed to help um families and small business owners um but yeah i mean it's certainly not easy i know that so just i i don't think i've ever done this uh but but my my my daughter is she loves to bake um And so she was, a couple of weeks ago, was making... Okay, this has happened again. Elvis, you're gone. I don't know if you can...

Okay, you're back. You're back. I'm back? Okay. And it was... My daughter was making cookies and the icing, and she had the little handheld mixer. And I guess the icing was a little bit too thick and she burned out the motor in the mixer it was old anyway so we need a new mixer and so i was you know my my wife has

always been talking about getting one of those you know stand-up mixers like a fancy thing they're about 500 bucks so i was like oh you know what maybe i'll i'll buy one for for my daughter she's showing an interest in baking and that did i doda-da-da. But I was, you know, over the last couple of days, they've been on sale and I was ready to buy it. And then I just thought, you know what? I don't know. Maybe I think I'll just go buy the $40 one that's, you know, going to break again

at some point in time in the very near future as opposed to spending $500. And that's the type of thinking that's probably smart. But at the same time, that's also the type of thinking that's probably smart. But at the same time, that's also the type of thinking that starts a recession. Or the fact that I'm thinking like that as a result of the other factors in the marketplace that can help accelerate a recession. So yeah, it's interesting because I can imagine how many other people who maybe don't have the financial means that you or I do but are able that that have

to make even tighter decisions as to whether or not they get you know the i don't know whatever yeah food food at the grocery store you know yeah hopefully i i told cheryl that if because she does grocery gateway because she's uh visually impaired as you might remember and uh she said i so i told her look if we her, look, it's delayed. This food will come. But if worse comes to worse, I'm going to deliver food to Cheryl. I said, I will bring food to you. You just tell me where to put the food, and I will get it to you.

And we're not going to let any... No one, no one, no FOTM left behind. No FOTM is going to starve to death during this crisis. Did she say anything? Did she respond? I don't know. I haven't checked in in a bit, but she seemed really concerned. And she hit me two prongs.

So she hit me two prongs. What does that mean? She did the open mic comment, and then she tweeted at me. Do you know Cheryl's on Twitter? I did not know that, no. Yeah, she tweeted a similar message that she wanted to die. She's taking this really hard.

I know she does not listen, so there's no way she hears this right now, but I told her. I said, look, the sports will come back. That's the thing, too. You're not the biggest sports guy, right? Are you missing sports yet right like you haven't are you missing sports yet or you you've been too busy worried about your uh i mean one of the things so

i was at the toronto fc home opener which was uh not last saturday the saturday before and i was very much looking to go to the game on saturday and i was totally going to go and then of course i think it was thursday or friday they ended up officially postponing and the whole league shut down. So, yeah, I mean, and of course, you know, uh, watching the Leafs try and make the playoffs this year and getting excited for the Jays and of course the Raptors. Yeah. So yeah, I'm not, I'm not the hugest sports fan of course compared to some other people, but I do follow it and I, I, you know, it is a big part of my life. Um, but I mean, I, I did think of what happens to TSN and Sportsnet. This is like the lockout times all over again. But there's nothing like there's...

Oh, much worse, much worse. Because there was, yeah, there was alternative sports. Yeah. Now there's nothing yeah there's nothing like what do you what do you like if i'm working for tfn or sports net i mean it was already probably already a shitty place to work and now it's got to just got to be even even worse you know what i mean and it wasn't that long ago when i was i was in here with uh hebsey and milan from fast time and we were talking about the big news was like ashley docking leaving the morning show like this was the big news. And now it's like, okay, that's like, Hey, that's ancient history.

Now, now we have, there's just simply nothing to talk about. So yeah, tough going on that front. It's just tough to all the sports. I don't, this is,

I know the word unprecedented is being tossed around, but there's a reason it's being used all over the place. Cause we don't have a good, I mean, in my lifetime, you and I are similar age. There's nothing we can point to like nine 11 happened and things kind of got quiet for a couple of weeks, but then they started up football again, right?

And then things started to slowly come back online or whatever. But everything seems to be gone now. So it's like in terms of your entertainment time, this is a boon for podcasts. That's why people need podcast content throughout this crisis. Someone did, a younger person who worked for me did ask me if there was anything that i have relate that i could relate this to and the two things that came to mind were 9-11 and sars but they're it's that's that's so far from what this

like 9-11 was maybe a week of fear, I think, that something else would happen. And they did shut down the downtown core, but I still went to work. I was in Mississauga at the time, so I still was going to work and school at the time. I was, no, just work. I wasn't in school anymore. And then SARS was, you know, it didn't really affect me other than the fact that I was able to go see ACDC and, uh, Rolling Stones at Downsview. So yeah, it was just, uh, it's not really relatable, but that's the two things that I can come up with that are the closest.

There's nothing really else that I've never, the government has never shut down the borders that I can remember in my lifetime. Nope. I'm with you. Those are the two closest things. And they were nothing like this. This is something unprecedented for us here. Do you have any recommendations

before we wrap up and let you get back to your fathering and all the important things you do over there in your bunker in North Oshawa? Do you have any recommendations?

Like, because people, obviously people should catch up on episodes of Toronto Mike. There's a wealth of, you, by the way, should start maybe cherry picking some episodes and find out all the great stuff you've been missing.

But there's a lot. So there's 596 episodes of Toronto Mike in the archive. If you haven't heard them all, now's a good time. But what, uh, like what television would you recommend, uh,

people stream if they have time to replace all that sports watching time or whatever? Well, first of all, I would say that at work we've made, because we don't have a workforce that works from home normally consistently. So what we've done is we've started to schedule either daily or biweekly sort of catch-ups where people just jump on a video conference and we say hello and check in with people and they bring their houses or partners or pets or kids and we just say hello it's just a way to sort of keep that continuity going with with the people we work with and i think there's probably a lot to be said about doing that in real life as well like um i just i love the ability for us to be able to have this conversation, even though it's, you know, recorded and for everyone to see and hear.

But, you know, there's probably people in your life that, you know, if you didn't have the opportunity to see them at work or you didn't have the opportunity to see them in, you know, in real life outside of work, make the time to do it in a virtual setting. There's a lot of free tools that are being made available right now, like Microsoft Teams is free to anyone, as well as I think Zoom is giving out free 30-day licenses at this point in time. So I'm sure there's a lot of other tools out there that you could do to video call people or just use FaceTime if you have an iPhone. So I would say one of my big recommendations for whatever it's worth is to try and keep up that visual connection with people. And if you're stuck in your house and you have roommates or if you don't have roommates or if you have family, you don't have family, having that visual interaction with people can be super helpful to get yourself through the day.

helpful and get yourself through the day. Little Bobby McFerrin for you. Oh, I'm watching the video now. And of course, Robin Williams is in this video. And now I realize. Let me see who it is. Hold on. I thought I saw. Yeah. Okay. Well, Let me see who it is. Hold on. I thought I saw.

Yeah. Okay. Well, who is this? Hold on. Hold on here. Who's in this video for Bobby McFerrin here? He's, uh, the stock market has plummeted. He looks like he's going to jump to his death here.

The pipe is. Yeah. The pipe is. Bobby Williams. Yeah. The pipe has literally fallen from his mouth. He's about to fall to his death. He's jumped out of his song. Who?

Bill Irwin. Oh, yeah. I'm looking at him. I don't know who he is. Anyway, I don't know if it's an appropriate song or not, but I guess everybody keep your chin up. We're going to get through this. We're all in it together.

You got it elvis we're gonna maybe do this again like check in periodically and maybe next time now that we've kind of set that now we can like next time we could play like best songs to pandemic by i love it I love it. I love it. We'll each pick five. Okay, good. Cause I can,

we're going to do it. Thanks for doing this. I'll be by later to pick up some toilet paper. I'll be in the shower. I'll be, I'll meet you there. Would you, you wash my back. I'll wash yours.

Deal? And that. Oh, those are more breadcrumbs. Have you heard about the breadcrumbs? So apparently I've been dropping breadcrumbs that I'm gay. I don't know if you heard that. So the fact that I'm willing to have a shower with you and wash your back while you wash mine are more breadcrumbs.

So follow the breadcrumbs. And that brings us to the end of our 597th show. You can follow me on Twitter. I'm at Toronto Mike. Elvis is, I don't know, he's not on Twitter. He's, find him, I don't know. Do you want to tell people how they can contact you? No, I don't know.

Forget Elvis. Don't worry about Elvis. He quit Twitter. He doesn't deserve our love and affection. Okay. Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer. Palma Pasta is at Palma Pasta. Sticker U is at Sticker U.

If you wanted to reach Elvis, you can leave a comment on the blog. So go to the blog entry for this episode and leave a comment and Elvis will read it and reply back to you. The Keitner Group are at The Keitner Group and Banjo Dunk is at Banjo Dunk with a C. See you soon! years. And I don't know what the future can hold or do for me and you. But I'm a much better man for having known you. This podcast has been produced by TMDS and accelerated by Roam Phone.

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