Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Every Spring A Parade Down Bay Street, Vol. 4: Toronto Mike'd #1235

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

In this 1235th episode of Toronto Mike'd, Mike shares the 4th instalment of Every Spring A Parade Down Bay Street featuring David Shoalts, Gare Joyce, Liam Kelly, Gerry Hall and Toronto Mike. How to Succeed in Sportswriting (without Really Trying) features at least two entries a week and sometimes a fair bit more. Gare takes readers behind the scenes in the sports media and comes clean about his most abysmal failures that he had managed to mostly cover up--recent entries include Gare getting chased by police through the stands during the closing ceremonies at Boston Garden or writing the leads of a reporter with chronic writer's block--a reporter who happened to be working at a competing paper. Paid subscribers to How to Succeed in Sportswriting get exclusive stories, full access to the archive and Gare's home phone number. Subscriptions start at $5 a month. Visit Gare's Substack to register now. Toronto Mike'd is proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, the Yes We Are Open podcast from Moneris, The Moment Lab, Ridley Funeral Home and Electronic Products Recycling Association.

The puck is dropped. Kelly at the poofy. Poofy gets left on the ice. Ice on the ice. Keeps the shot. Goal! A wild finish. The players jump on the ice.

Here it is on the waypoint. The Leafs get the faceoff. Over to Armstrong from Poulter. He takes aim. One man better. It's in there. Look at this action on the ice. This is CFCA 770 on your radio dial.

A wholly owned subsidiary of the Toronto Telegram. Greetings, Torontonians, citizens of the most upright and tradition-rich Burg in God's creation. Perhaps it was a case that he spent a little more time in this fair city than others and kept us in his special favor, And for that, we give thanks. Amen. Peace be with you. Peace be with you, Chucky. I'll get to the rest of you congregants shortly. Listeners here in gloriously gray Toronto,

this is every spring a parade down Bay Street. Coming to you over the airways from CFCA's tower atop the Toronto Telegram's building at Melinda and Bay Street. Yes, it's the mighty 5,000 watt signal providing Mr. and Mrs. Toronto quality listening. And when it comes to quality, well, CFCA is the licensed broadcaster

of that most storied of franchises, the Toronto Maple Leafs. This is Red York, the old redhead, the official historian of the game of hockey in general, and the Leafs in the very, very particular. Yes, Red York, the go-to read in the city's great newspaper, the telegram, the last daily standing in town, quality ever enduring.

For more than half a century, I've owned the most prestigious piece of real estate in the Toronto market, that spot above the fold of the mighty broadsheet sports section. But let me dispense with the unneeded introductions to our show, still topping the ratings in its 57th glorious season. You mean the premise? The right words, conceit. Listeners, that last voice you just heard is that of our sound engineer.

To my mind, unsound engineer, Ollie Thumbs. The next one of you who interrupts is subject to a fine. Make the check payable to Red York Enterprises. Yeah, I didn't think so. Well, after that bit of disorder in the court, to the matter at hand. Friends, you're tuned in to every spring a parade down Bay Street.

The only hockey show that you ever need listen to because the Toronto Maple Leafs are the only team that truly matters unless you're stuck in the game's minutia. Yes, the Leafs. The winners of, what is it? 56, 57 Stanley Cups. I think it's 60. It has to be 60-something, I figure.

Like most in his burg, the aesthetic of winning matters more than mere mathematics. Numbers were never my strong suit. Yeah, Red, the folks in C.A.'s accounting department would like a word with you in the first commercial break. Every spring a parade down Bay Street is a show that I've proudly hosted since March 1967. Bay Street is a show that I've proudly hosted since March 1967. Well, with far fewer interruptions, I might say, in days of yore, and when we hit the month of April, well, it's time for a preview of the most important season of all, the postseason. Yes, it's that time to assess the form of the greatest franchise in sports, one that somehow surpasses itself season in and season out. In spring, do Toronto hearts soar? Per usual, I've assembled an expert panel.

Coming down the ladder to the gondola, the latest in the clan of Leaf broadcasters. What is it, third, fourth, fifth generation of your family to do play-by-play? It's great to be aboard, Red. I'm always up to talk about the recent developments with the Leafs and great moments of the team's lore. As for our family history, well, Grandpa Foster's dad, who used to go by Billy Hewitt, my dad's namesake, as it were, he was a bit of a play-by-play man himself back in the days before Marconi and the rest.

He used to work the Tecumseh Games later on the Shamrock Seas Sessions down at the old Arena Gardens on Mutual Street there, a building that thankfully has been lovingly preserved. In fact, he worked the first game there. A plaque recognizing him hangs in the place where he used to stand with his microphone. Shockingly, the first game on Mutual Street, though, was an exhibition between the Montreal Canadians and the Montreal Wanderers. Have to suppose that's the last time a Montreal team was guaranteed to win in Toronto. Good one, Red. Sprague Claghorn wound up getting a hefty fine for going after New Zealand in that game,

and great-grandpa Billy was the key witness at the National Hockey Association hearing into the affair. He also used to do the race call at Old Woodbine, what they now call Greenwood Raceway, famous for his calls of the King's Plate. Grandpa Foster always would tell us about Billy calling the race wins of some of the great horses, including Seismic,

Hoof-Hearted, and Cunning Stunt. That's before it all happened before the Great War, of course. This moment brought to you by Heritage Canada. Don't knock it! There's grant money in it. Like Eddie Shaq, I've got a nose

for value. But, as ever, it's great to have you on hand in the seats once occupied by Foster and Bill. And my other winger pulled down from the press box at the gardens. Have they actually assigned you a seat, or are you still having to stand at the back? I think I've worked my way up to about third on the waiting list, Mr. York.

All in good times. I don't know when a place will open up for you. I've been consulting an actuary on that. Well, also gather around the old broadcast campfire, a young rising talent on the Telegram sports staff, Ted Reeve III. Honored as always. Paying your dues, son, paying your dues. You've been covering the lease for how long now?

Just getting into my 27th year. Well, we tend to look for more experienced experts when we put together our panel, but I feel it's important to get some young blood in there, to have a young person's perspective. I'm up for that, however wet behind the ears I might be. And Mr. York, I wanted to congratulate you on being elected to the Hockey Hall of Fame a second time, becoming the first member of the media division to be so honored as a builder of the league. Modesty prevents me from detailing how the Hall of Fame

selection committee assured me that they made a special one-time exception to such rules. I'm sure you'll tell us anyway, though. About media members, so both unprecedented and never to be repeated, I am thus further humbled. And gentlemen, I have a special guest panelist this week. Friends, when we think of the mighty

Maple Leafs, the first thing that comes to mind are the stars of the ice. A constellation like the Milky Way, not the chocolate bar, mind you, no matter what the branding on the sweaters. Not the chocolate bar, mind you. No matter what the branding on the sweater. What? Ahem. Ahem. We think of the stars on the ice.

The organization, though, well, that's another thing. Literally hundreds of people involved that go beyond the players, the coaches, management, the Ballard family estate, or a celebrity scribe like myself. No, there are umpteen little people who play key roles in the operation, but none have done more so proudly than our guest panelist. More to the point, none have done it longer. Barney Bunyan became a Gardens Usher straight out of the service. When was that, Barney?

A precise year. Well, I was straight out of the service. I wasn't. I signed up with the ushers corps after I aged out of the commissionaires, and I had to retire from my posting in small claims court at Old City Hall. What year? Oh, I don't know. Davey Keon wasn't shaving yet. Gosh, weren't those St. Mike's team something back when? And today, Barney, excuse me, Sergeant Bunyan is the longest serving member of the Leafs payroll, head of the Garden's ushers fraternity. Mr. York, bless you for having me on i've been a long time listener yes the ushers listen to the show faithfully at the royal canadian legion over on dawes road when your show comes on our euchre tournament grinds to a dead halt last time I had a lay down loner in spades. But no matter.

When that theme music comes up. Well I'm not about to get selfish about it. Sure four points. It's God, country and the Leafs. The order on that varies. Yep we gather around the crystal set. And a hush falls over the room it takes me back to the days when we were in the bunker ready to storm the beach

just like we listened to you talking during the radio broadcast for the road games, Mr. Hewitt. Sergeant, my spirit soars hearing you enthuse, though. Yeah, the boys say it's that static. I'll tell them no, that's just the way he talks. What the? Shuffering sucker cash. Well, gents, we are gathered here to discuss the Leafs' latest run to a Stanley Cup. The heroics of Austin and Mitchell and Willie and the like. But through no fault of my own, the introductions have taken us right up to our first commercial break. While Sergeant Bunyan is making use of his bedpan...

I've never seen one with a Leafs decal. Yeah, Red, the folks from the accounting department with letters from the CRA. That might be an opportune juncture to take a commercial break. And talk to your lawyer about a conditional surrender. Friends, Red York Productions has entered into an exclusive agreement with Sam Snyderman. Yes, Sam the record man, to produce a fine triple LP, Snyderman. Yes, Sam the Record Man, to produce a fine triple LP, compiling the greatest hits of Toronto's favourite vocalist, Time to the Leafs' playoff run this spring.

With a limit of three copies per customer, the album will be on sale at Sam's Yonge Street outlet. Yes, I'm talking about last minute to play in this period, the best of Paul Morris. Toronto ball scored by number 8, Ellis. The sixth, number 4, Kelly. And number 26, Stenner. The time, 6.25.

Yes, the sweet sounds of that fella whose throat outstrips that of Perry Como. Who can forget? The add-out ball, started by number 12, Stemkowski. Six, number 18, Pappen, and number 20, Poper. The time, 1924. Yes, the best of Paul Morris features not just the announcer's most famous work, but also a few underappreciated gems

that have been mined out of the archive. This stirring reading was presumed lost until our crack researchers in the Telegram's investigative department tracked it down. An Army 2nd Toronto Goal scored by number 18 Kapanen it down. And there's also a healthy sampling of Paul's underrated later work. Ron Ellis from Boreasami

and Dave Williams, time 11.17. And, of course, the unmistakable signature piece that gives this collector's item its title. Last minute of play in this period. Friends, it can always be the last minute of play if you head over to Sam the Record Man, 347 Yonge Street. And on opening night of the playoffs, Paul will be autographing copies at Doug Laurie's with proceeds going to that worthiest of charities,

Save the Children of the Beaches Fund, overseen by my beloved wife, Scarlett. And if you're over at Sam's, A&A's, or the Record on Wheels school bus up by Gloucester Muse, consider picking up a vinyl edition of Every Spring a Parade Down Bay Street. Mine eyes have seen the glory. Yes, my original best-selling hardcover by the same title is now available on eight LPs in mono and quadraphonic, as read by your humble correspondent, the old redhead. You're eligible for a special 15% discount on a second copy. Just use the code word

schmaltz. Got a Leafs fan in your family for a birthday present, an offering for an anniversary, or even a wedding gift? Consider giving the gift that keeps on giving. These slices of Leafs history, last minute to play in this period, the greatest hits of Paul Morris and every spring a parade down Bay Street. And now here's another commercial word. This from a gentleman whose name Paul Morris called many times over the years, including ten times in one glorious record-setting night.

I'm Darryl Sittler, and I'm here to tell you about a great new idea. It's a Denny's Pizzabella pizza oven. This unique pizza oven cooks great tasting pizza at home. It's genuine stone cooking surface, heats up fast, and allows you to make crispy crust pizza in five minutes. Think of it. No more soggy microwave pizza, no ovens to heat up, and no waiting for expensive pizza delivery.

So start making affordable pizza today with the Denny's Pizzabella. It's a great gift idea, and you'll look like a pro every time you use it. It's indisputable that Toronto is the hockey capital of the world, but it's almost as acclaimed for its cuisine. New Yorkers and Montrealers will make regular excursions to the fairest of cities to sample our unmatched selection of fine delicatessen fare. My favorite choice in Delhi is the bagel. Kala is just west of Spadina, and it's not just my favorite.

Oh, no. When celebrities land in town, their first stop is a nosh at the bagel, and they always come with eight by ten in hand. For them, a signed headshot on the walls of the bagel ranks somewhat above a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was Henny Youngman who said, why would I want my footprint in cement when I can have my thumbprint in the poppy seeds of the Volga Boatman, the bagel's finest sturgeon with a schmear? The Pope himself said, I don't always dine kosher, but when I do,

it's at the bagel. Amen. Michelin gave the bagel four stars of David. If nothing else, it's worth coming out to read the board listing the day's specials. That handwriting looking familiar? You guessed it. Every day it's updated by Percy Saltzman. Owner Saul has his own Leafs tribute item. The Punch Creplak. The Bagel. 285 College Street West. Tell them the old Redhead sent you,

and it's good for a complimentary coffee refill. And we're back. The business at hand. The Leafs and their run to yet another Stanley Cup is upon us. What can we look forward to in the next few weeks? I'm going to go out on a limb here. I shudder. Hopefully it's not Dutch Elm. addressing needs, as I like to say. I'm sorry to see Pierre Engvall packing his bags, but let's face it, there was a lot of talk about him leaving hockey next year to enter the Mr. Universe pageant.

And as far as for Razzy Sandin, that's a head-scratcher. I mean, 10 games in Washington, and he's already their leading scorer. Dr. Dubas has added some size on the blue line, but to what end? Ted, do you even want to win a cup or no? Did Jim Gregory not bring in Doug Favell for cup number 36? Did Gord Stelic not bring in Kornick for just a secure cup 48? The greatest threat to the way I see it is self-satisfaction, and none of that is in evidence in the team's executive suite, Mr. Reeve.

Well, I'm suspecting we actually might see the Leafs involved in some close games with Tampa Bay. The type that are decided by a single goal, maybe an empty netter thrown in, could go as long as six games. Zones! I've thrown out ticket holders for less.

Mostly Montrealers. God damn subversive bastards. These are dire predictions. You're making it sound like you're preparing for unprecedented seismic shift. Heresy, some would say. Well, you might be reading a bit too much into it. I think there will be a period of adjustment, something.

I think once all the pieces fall into place, it will be business as usual. In our predictions package in the telegram tomorrow, I've committed it to the page. Leafs and Tampa split the first four games before our boys find their stride taking the series in six and then, of course, sweeping the

Bruins and the Leafs went out, of course, 6-4-4-4. Well, young Mr. Reeve, I'm marking you down as bearish about the Leafs' prospects. Bud, what say you about the Stanley Cup champions' latest defense of the title? Well, as ever, this is a road well-traveled, and the destination is the same. Pure joy to be found in the contours and details. Sort of like sightseeing, if you will. Like Kyle Dubas said

last night on Hockey Late in Toronto, the general manager is always the fox who knows many things, and the rest of us are groundhogs who know one big thing. Ah, the famous Punch Imlach quote. I believe it was Archilocus. You think the waiter at the hot stove lounge would come up with a witticism like that? Posh! Carry on, bud. Well, it is a venture into a great unknown, of course, at this point. We can't say with confidence what the starting goaltender will be with Sampsonov. Mr. Hewitt, I'm not sure you can ever say Sampsonov. Sampsonov.

Sampsonov. Shut up. Yeah, after each show, I do have to sanitize his mic sock. Would we be surprised to see all three goaltenders play in the postseason? I don't think that we should be. What, with Samsonov and Murray splitting the Vesna and sweeping first and second team All-Star honors, and Wald winning the Calder Trophy again, would we be surprised by any players swapping in and out of the lineup

or changing positions? Simply look at Ryan O'Reilly. Could he be a second line center with Tavares moving to the wing? Could he line up in the third line? Or else might you see a first all-star like William Nylander be shuffled down to the third line? The Shades GM Kyle Dubas has afforded coach Sheldon Keefe with a smorgasbord of super talents, and he can prepare each plate as if it were a unique dish. I don't know why I'm subtly hungry.

Mr. York, can you pass the popcorn? Opponents can little prepare because they don't know what shape the lineup will take. Is Morgan Riley a defenseman? Is he a forward? Is he a shape shifter? Sometimes it's like he's not even there. Bottom line? Bottom line, I suspect is we might see a run of the cup in 17 games.

I'm factoring in the Leafs not getting the benefit of one of those replays on the road. Thank God we don't have to put up with those things at the Garden. Yeah, the only time they had a hold up at all at the Gardens this season was that un-televised game against the Rangers. They fueled a ruling about the puck crossing the goal line, and everybody had to wait for the damn film to develop. God bless Boris Spremo. Memorable way for David Camp to score his 30th.

And he wound up with a handsome, glossy 8x10 of the landmark to boot. Well, that leaves you, Sergeant Bunyan. What say you about the Mighty Leafs and their run to the Stanley Cup? After all, other than me, you're the only one in this room who has been on site for the entire run. Quite true. I joined the usher corps when I aged out of the commissionaires. Of course, being an usher and deployed at various stations throughout the hallowed gardens, there were a few seasons where in the line of duty, I had to have my back to the game. But it's strange how in those circumstances, your other senses get elevated.

So you could hear my play-by-play out on the concourse? So you could hear my play-by-play out on the concourse? No, bud, I could hear it, but I tried to tune it out and try other frequencies. Oh? I only needed to pick up the sounds on the ice. As you know, in contrast to those dumps where other teams play, Maple Leaf Gardens is a place of decorum and universally observed etiquette. Reverential silence is observed.

This is wholly in the Toronto character, the only city in the world where librarians ask patrons to speak up. Well, I've just found that when the players were on the ice, I could hear their voices, the banter in the rinks, the coach's instructions, and the subtleties of the sounds identified the players. You know, there was a very different sound that Bob Pulford made when he was working hard, reminded me of the bellows by the fireplace where my grandfather homesteaded up north of the Steeles. I have to admit, Davy Keon always throws me for a loop. I can't tell if it's him or his son over there keeping time in the penalty box. But suffice it to say I could glean enough from the sound

to construct the game in vivid detail in the theater of my mind. Especially so when I had a fresh battery in my hearing aid. I actually remember having to turn down the volume the night Terrell had his ten-point game. Oh, this is all fascinating stuff. And kind of disturbing. But, Sergeant, what's your call on the Leafs' playoff run? Sixteen games. But that's only if the other teams dare show up.

Gutless, godless bastards that they are. I wouldn't doubt that they'll desert in a line of fire. The Canadians particularly. Thank God for small mercies that they haven't made the playoffs in years. Well, thanks for that, Sergeant Bunyan. Young Ted Reeve, why don't you do the honors for one of our loyal sponsors? Thanks, Mr. York. For those of Toronto's smart set looking for a little entertainment, Thanks, Mr. York. For those of Toronto's smart set looking for a little entertainment, well, I recommend dropping in for the show you'll be treated to at the Warwick.

It's cabaret of the finest sort. My grandpa, Ted, always would pop in to say hi on his walk back from the beach from the telegram offices. Always said you meet the nicest people there and none nicer than Brandy, the host of the show. Friends, there's no one this side of Wayne Schuster and Rummy Bishop who can crack wiser than Brandy, the host of the show. Friends, there's no one on this side of Wayne Schuster and Rummy Bishop who can crack wiser than Brandy, and lo, only the bravest of audience members dare sit in the front row and incur her wrath, much to the crowd's amusement. And for those with a highbrow artistic taste, pop by when the Warwick's Literary Appreciation Society is in session.

The resident Governor General's Award winner, Hugh Garner, leads a lively discussion of the latest in Toronto letters. That's the Warwick, the northwest corner of Jarvis and Dundas. Government checks gladly cashed with the standard 15% processing fee. Thanks, young Ted. And friends, we're in the month of April. No more than four to six weeks of winter remain, and there's no more important time to be mindful of your neighbor don't put that shovel away just yet here's our good friend hockey hall of famer Wendell Clark with a piece of advice on behalf of the folks down at old city hall

hey Toronto it's time again for us to get out there and clear our ice and snow we've got 12 hours after snowfall to get out there and clear our ice and snow. We've got 12 hours after snowfall to clear the public walks surrounding our home or business. Otherwise, we could be penalizing somebody's ability to get around. So join the team and make a play for safety. After all, it's easier to get where you're going when your way is clear. Be nice. Clear your ice. Lloyd, he's a seaman. He gets a baseball. Be nice. Clear your eyes. Lloyd? He's a seaman.

Catch a baseball. Come on. Thanks for that, Wendell. I owe a special debt of thanks to Wendell as he comes over to shovel my walk. As you can tell, I'm not getting around like I used to. Yeah, we've seen you struggling with the bedpan, unfortunately. Like a good soldier, he's filling it up. I mean, I struggle just to sweep the rows of my section at the end of the game.

And so I can't really do the walkover at the rooming house on Parliament there. Wendell heads up the Leafs alumni snow clearing volunteer group and well they're a godsend. God bless them. Ollie can you do something with Sergeant Bunyan's bedpan? Who am I Florence Nightingale? Well the Leafs are gearing up for the postseason and we're making an extraordinary move even by the standards of their extraordinary moves. A master stroke, if you were to ask me. The Leafs plan to sign and activate a young boy named Matthew Knees

in time for the playoffs. Knees has been playing at the University of Minnesota for a couple of seasons now. This program's resident expert on all matters to do with prospects is my own flesh and blood. Yes, I'm talking about Teeter York. Lad, welcome aboard.

Thanks for having me, Pops. I sure find it a little awkward being on the panel, though. I never know what to refer to you as. Just call me what you do around Casa York. Yes, sir. Oh, shit. It was inevitable that I would fucking.

It was inevitable. All right. All right, hang on. All right, can you do that again? Just call me what you do around casa york yes sir well peter i uh i understand you went down to minnesota to see the young man in action i did it's a heck of a drive from the beach yeah i left your blessed mother stranded without her corvair like you say sir the real money's in the mileage x day on the allers day talk. Exercise caution henceforth. Yes sir. Well I did

take in a few games and let me tell you any talk about phenoms of the past will be rendered redundant and impossible with your arrival of this wonder kind. Lad you've obviously got my genes by the way you turn a phrase. I've heard that many things run that way in families. Diabetes, alcoholism, abuse. How the heck did he fall to the second round of the draft? Draft? A draft? I didn't know we'd even

declared war. That must have ramped up fast. Still, I'm ready to take up arms and lay down my life. What's left of it anyways? Easy there, soldier. My lad was talking about the NHL draft. But did ask a pertinent question, though. How on earth did this rarest of talents go unselected to that late juncture? Well, sir, the fact is many teams were scared

off by his availability. It seems young Nyes, as it said, sir, is an honor student and was just bent and determined not just to play for the Gophers, but in fact to stay on for graduate school. He told me his ambition was to make the lineup of the Blues. Ah, why didn't anyone in their right mind

want to play for St. Louis? Not the St. Louis Blues, Mr. Reeve. I'm talking about Oxford University Blues. Master Nyes has ambitions to become a Rhodes Scholar. What on earth? Why, that sort of thing is like a dime a dozen. A diploma mill for a bunch of limeys. I believe the Don's extended invitations to three or four of these panelists

at our Neil McNeil Reach for the Top team that went to the city finals against North Toronto. Go Maroons! I believe I've heard tell of some Ivy League basketball type who was inclined that way. An utter crank. And knees are nice. Either way, he's got a leg up on everybody, I'd say. He's the bee's knees. Either way, he's got a leg up on everybody. He's a bee's knees. Highfalutin education?

Bah! My day and have boys lining up to go to Royal Military College to defend our country against foreign scourges. And even better, beat those bastards from West Point in hockey. Actually, Sergeant Bunyan, with respect, my understanding was that one of the hangouts that held him back from signing with the Leafs earlier is that he wanted to complete his obligation to the university's ROTC program. They've been working double time preparing for their march in this year's Minneapolis Memorial Day Parade. Well, I'd take it all back if I could remember what I said. Should I hit rewind? Oh,

never mind. Then again, I forgot what date Remembrance Day fell on this year. The one day I wasn't wearing a poppy. Teeter, for the love of God in this city, carry on with your scouting report before I forget why we're gathered here. Well, I went down to Minnesota to watch Master Nye's. I caught a couple of games there. The Golden Gophers ran roughshod over a couple of elite U.S. college programs. Rainy River Community College, out of International Falls, and Dunwoody Tech. And there were no guessing who was the most golden of gophers.

Hat trick against both of them. And really, it's easy to evaluate his performance against these powerhouses and project it directly to 31 other NHL teams. Not a question of how he'll fare against them. He'll fairly dominate. Precisely right, Teeter. Now the question is, how does this Canize guy fit in the Leafs lineup? I mean, where are they going to find shifts with him? Now the question is, how does this Canaes guy fit in the Leafs lineup?

I mean, where are they going to find shifts with him? A hat trick against Dunwoody should be at least a pair against the Bruins. The coaching staff said they should have come down a week earlier. Had his best game of the season against the St. Olaf Roses. St. Olaf? Who does he play for? Hard to believe he'd still be eligible. Bloody Norwegians. According to the coaches,

the Roses were a preseason threat to go to the Frozen Four. After walloping Matthew and the Gophers put on them, the St. Olaf athletic directors had to appeal to the Lutheran Board of Regents not to pull the plug on the program and disband the team immediately. I got a Frozen Four on a road trip to a Leafs game against the Wild in January. Forgot to plug in the block heater at my run at Prius. Gentlemen, teeter, with all these vaxations, permutations,

and hallucinations, we are straying a long way from the subject at hand, which is how the young Canese Canize Canaver is going to raise the stock of our city's champions. Well, sir, this young fella has exceptional skills all around, and we've got to throw in the size in the mix as well.

He's some big grain-fed beef up front. What's your clear-eyed read of his place on the team? Well, without putting too much pressure on him. Sir, I'm reluctant to raise the bar too high, creating unrealistic expectation. Suffice it to say, Nyes would start off as a first-line player on 31 other teams in the NHL, and if things break the way I expect them to, he might crack the Leafs' third line by the end of the playoffs. And that's saying something. Well, once again, it's the rich get richer and the richest richer still. Makes the

Oxford-done stuff look like small potatoes for sure. Speaking of potatoes, let's take another break for a word from one of our loyal sponsors. Friends, if you're like me and most of the fine citizens of this burg, you'll eschew those fancy fare that might be in vogue in other lesser towns, that rich stuff tricked out for the benefit of dilettantes. You'd rather with a good meal, one that's well-prepared, briskly served, and great tasting. And as ever, you're on the lookout for a room with congenial atmosphere. That's why for my pregame meal, I always swing by Norm's Open Kitchen at Dundas at Pembroke. I feel it's important to stay connected with my readers, and let's just say the clientele at Norm's Open Kitchen is well connected. They always ask me about scoring, and what can I tell them except

you have to put the puck in the net. Many times I've been told that my mere presence there is a shot in the arm. Yes, Norm's Open Kitchen, right next to Stouffville Market Grocery, considered the pride of that fine neighborhood. Don't let the humble facade fool you. The specials at Norm's rank among the city's elite, and it's a favored stop for gastronomes and trenchermen alike. The meatloaf will stick to your ribs and compares most favorably with anything they serve up at Barbarians. Last night I swung by as owner Leslie Den hosted a gala event for his regular customers, marking the occasion of the Toronto Health Authority's giving Norm's Open Kitchen a richly deserved conditional pass. Among the regulars were the boys from 52 Division.

You know the grub is first rate if the cruisers are parked outside. Tell Mr. Den that you're a friend of the show and he'll set you up with a swivel seat at the counter close to the exit. Good grief, Dad's cooking again. Good grief, Dad's cooking again. Good grief. Hi, guys. Great day for a barbecue. Shopsy's Delicatessen.

What you having? Ooh, let me guess. For you, a Shopsy's Deli Fresh Spring Fruiter. I mean, we're talking famous here. And you look like the jumbo type. For sure a two-hander. Enjoy. Take Shopsy's home from your supermarket and take home real deli folks sam shopovitz is a great friend of the show and he's provided us

here in the studio a delightful spread of luncheon meats that thankfully his overpowered Sergeant Bunyan's bedpan. Yeah, I got to say, it looks good, but I kind of lost my appetite. Get on down to Shopsy's at 295 Spadina. Check out the gallery of photos of celebrities who dined with me there. Al Waxman, Pierre Burton, Billy Van, Jack Duffy. The place is literally star studded. If you get lucky, you might land there on one of those days when he pulls out his accordion and does

renditions of songs from The Man from La Mancha. Yeah, tell them the old redhead sent you. Well, Ollie, cue up our phone in lines. The third caller wins a copy of a copy of The Last Minute of Play in this period,

the greatest hits of Paul Morris, and a hardcover of my memoir, Every Spring a Parade Down Bay Street, produced by one of Toronto's leading publishers, Vainglorious Remainders Limited. Yeah, they'll be lining up at pay phones across the city for this one. Ah, the usual advisory. Well, when you're on the line, please

turn your radio down and Ollie for once get that 7 second delay in order. We're working on two warnings from the CRTC. You should be okay if Red Fisher doesn't call. Yeah, I think the long distance charges will price him out of any inquiries.

Who's our first caller? We have Vito calling from Woodbridge. Oh, Vito, come and stay. Hey, Mr. York, long-time listener, first-time caller, eh? How are you doing? If I were in finer fiddle, I'd be getting plucked by hyphets. Vito, you sound familiar to me, but I can't place it. I was about to say the same. Yeah, Mr. York, I work at the family deli next to the telegram, eh? I'm the one who always fixes your favorite sandwich, eh? What would that be, Vito? Tongue with extra cream cheese and marinara sauce. Mr. York, at the end of my call,

my father wants to get on the line to discuss your account. Ollie Thumbs, are you not working at 7 Second second delay? I wanted to see how this turns out. I think I have someone from accounting in the queue as well. There will be no personal business carried on during this program. Vito, if you have a question that pertains to the Maple Leafs, please table it now. Sure, Mr. York. I wanted to ask about Matt Murray, eh? I know that he's been pretty good for Pittsburgh in the playoffs before he came to Toronto because he wanted to finally get a shot at winning the Stanley Cup. True of many players before him and true of others down the line. Not that you come to Toronto by choice, young Vito.

You come when you're chosen. Like our fighting men in Fort Warren's, a call of duty goes back to Con Smythe. Great man, brave soldier, and a heck of a euchre player. Vito does raise an interesting area of investigation, though. Will playoff success, limited

as it can be for a player from a team outside of Toronto, benefit the Leafs in the postseason? Well, we saw it with many goalies who landed in Toronto after playing with some distinction with other organizations, even though they fell short of the game's greatest prize. Eddie Belfort had a knock that he couldn't win the big one until he landed in Toronto. And until you're the winning goaltender in the last game of the season,

well, you can't really say that you've won the big one. No less of a knock on Buddy LaRock when he came over from Montreal, or Bernie Perron from Philadelphia, Grant Fehr from Edmonton, or Tom Barasso, wherever that Barasso came from. Where none of them wouldn't have had a snowball's chance of tasting champagne. Obviously, the Leafs have the best program for internal development of goaltenders, going back to Mike Palmatier, Vincent Tremblay,

Alan Bester, Ken Reggett. Geez, I remember Brof using a coin flip in the final to make a call about the starter between those two. Felix Potvin, Eric Fischot, of course. Felix the Cat? He was the best. Your Patrick

Waz and Martin Bredour, they got nothing on Felix, eh? I mean, one draft provided a tandem of goalies who carried the Leafs to a glorious run. I know where you're going. Tuca Rask? Justin Poggi? I always considered myself a Poggi guy. I'll hang up and listen.

Exactly, Vito. Then there are the more recent generations from Garrett Sparks to Antoine Bebo, and those are just off the wings, like Calgary and Wall. Gentlemen, time is precious. We could sit here all day and list the Hall of Famers who've been drafted by the Leafs and later don blue and white face masks over the years. We hardly need reminding of their greatness. This is a show about new developments, not a simple history lesson.

Noted, Mr. York. All I'm suggesting is that by bringing in Murray... And Samsonov, such a standout. Easy for you to say, as I was about to lay out. To bring in Murray and Samsonov, that's how you say that word, I just wonder if we haven't done full justice to your organically grown netminders. Have we set Wall and Kalgrin back? Shalgren. Shalgren.

Well, it starts with a K. Anyway. So does Knight. At ease! This year could have been a useful one to give them some exposure to the game at the highest level, something key to their development. Young Ted, callow as you may be, if you've been around as long as I have, lo these many years,

only then can you fully appreciate that the most necessary component of their growth as players isn't playing against other NHL teams when sometimes you can get away with a night off or an off night. No, to get exposure to the best the game has to offer and to really enter the fire that tempers their character, their requisite is practicing with their Leafs teammates the very best the game has to offer. It's like Arthur Miller said, it's a crucible, no doubt. You don't find that stuff on the battlefield. You find it in basic training. Sergeant Bunyan, in your roundabout way, you have hit on the truth. I have to suspect that this was precisely the least designed coming into the season, to have Murray and Shazam

take extended time away from practice, extending the mileage by not overusing them in the days between games or unimportant stretches of the season, thus giving Wall and Shalgren those necessary practice sessions still crucial to their respective stock. Neatly put, bud. Ah, well, I guess that just shows how much I still have to learn about the game at this level. Yes. Young Ted, one day in the not-too-distant future will take your training wheels off. I assure

you, I can't have more than one or two decades left before I knock myself down to occasional duty, and I see you and Teeter as my heirs, apparently. Can't wait for that puff of white smoke. I think it's about time for one final commercial break. Giving listeners fair notice to come back from the bathroom. Yeah, it's time for that favorite feature in the Toronto Telegram, This Day in Leafs History is brought to you by Knob Hill Farms. Yes, Toronto's best produce proprietor, the honest grocer himself, the amiable Steve Stavro, Leafs board member. Friends, if you need a bag of groceries, it's always salad days at Knob Hill Farms

with 10 locations across this fair city. And also brought to you by Consumers Distributing. Why waste hours of your time hoofing around department stores when you can buy by the book? Consumers Distributing has the widest array of household wares for the discerning shoppers. Mention that you're a listener

to every spring of Prairie Down Bay Street and the staff will be happy to pass a complimentary set of pipe cleaners with a purchase of over $200. Young Ted Reeve, you do the honors. Thanks Mr. York. It was on this day in 1997 that Brandon Condry notched his first pro season hat trick including the winner with less than two minutes to play in game seven against the Montreal Canadiens. Convery would also pick up assists on goals by Zednik Nedved and Ralph Intranuvo. Easy for you to say. Convery, the least first rounder in 1992,

entered the Hockey Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility, alongside his favorite winger, Scott Pearson. Also on this day in 1976, Denis Dupierre picked up assists on four consecutive goals in the second period of the opening game of the final against the Kansas City Scouts. I remember it well. Scouts coach Eddie Bush told me that he had never seen a performance as dazzling as Denny's that night. I fear the end is nigh, he said as I handed him a hanky.

So devastated was he that his team had come so far Only to run into a wrecking machine of the Leafs squad And here's a word from the official hair care product Of every spring, a parade down Bay Street Oh, don't let the hot sun dry out your hair Better use Vitalis Summer sun, the't let the hot sun dry out your hair. Better use Vitalis. Summer sun, the wind, the water, all make your hair dry as the desert. Your scalp becomes flaky.

New Vitalis hair tonic with V7, the greaseless grooming discovery, stops summer dryness, keeps your hair neater all day. Vitalis gives your hair extraordinary protection from the ravages of sun, wind, and water. New laboratory findings show that even excessively dried out hair gets back its necessary moisture content faster with Vitalis than with any leading hair cream or hair oil. Yes, greaseless Vitalis with Wonder Working V7

does wonders for your hair and. Yes, greaseless Vitalis with Wonder Working V7 does wonders for your hair and for you, too. Get new Vitalis with V7. If you want to make time with your girl, better use Vitalis. You know what I mean. Vitalis! From all my

years on Press Row, I've learned one thing. It's important to be smart, but maybe even more important to look smart. Isn't that two things? I take my hair off to apply it before inspection. Well, listeners,

the old clock on the wall says it's about that time once more to say goodbye. I want to thank my guests, Bud Hewitt. It's great to sit on another Leaf Symposium once more, Register. As always, Bud, and to the young buck in the Telegram Sports Department,

Ted Reeve III. Thanks, Mr. York. You are an inspiration to us all. The first thing I do in the morning is pick up the Telegram Sports section just to make sure you're still there. So many ways I could read that. I'm at once humbled and suspicious. Look for young Ted's byline in the sports section of the telegram.

If you don't see it on page three, try four and five. And then to Sergeant Barney Bunyan of the Maple Leaf Gardens Usher Corps. I'm ever ready to serve. Is there another bedpan? Yeah, I'd say we'll look into that, but I'd prefer not to. I can't help it. It's an old war wound. Finally, I have to thank my own flesh and blood coming in. My son, Titor, who is ever keeping readers of the Toronto Telegram abreast of the latest talent flowing in the Leafs pipeline. Tomorrow's champions today. Thanks, sir. Just as your job is about the day before yesterday.

You are a chip off the block if ever there was one. And I'll never turn my back on you. Especially around sharp silverware. And that voice you heard is our man in the booth here at CA, the inestimable Ollie Thumbs. As always, we're receiving resumes for the position of sound engineer, and if I ever find a qualified one, well, the seat will still be warm when you get here.

Red, the folks from accounting are still here. I always wondered why you had maintenance install a deadbolt lock on the studio door. Cue the music, Ollie. Gentlemen, let's take our leave by the back door here. Red, that says it's an emergency exit. An alarm will sound. I can assure you it's been deactivated.

Red, you've activated the sprinklers. Step lively! I say we stay and stand our ground! Red York was performed as ever by David Schultz. The hockey writer and reluctant baseball writer retired from the Globe and Mail. And Red York was performed as ever by David Schultz, the hockey writer and reluctant baseball writer retired from the Globe and Mail, though his stories these days occasionally pop up in the New York Times.

Dave's reading of the Red York memoir, Every Spring a Parade Down Bay Street, is available now on Audible. Ted Reed III was performed by Jerry Hall, a Hamilton-based stand-up comic, writer, and actor, as well as a roast battle legend. Bud Hewitt was performed by Liam Kelly, a longtime Toronto stand-up comic. He's played everywhere you can imagine. Just don't ask him about Sudbury. Vito in Woodbridge was performed by Jeff Samet. Host of Canada Now with Jeff Samet, Monday through Friday, 1pm to 3pm Eastern on Sirius XM Canada Talks, channel 167.

XM Canada Talks, channel 167. And Barney Bunyan was performed by Gare Joyce, who also wrote this mishmash. A writer at the Globe and Mail, ESPN, and Sportsnet in years past, and author of 10 non-fiction titles, Gare's real-life memoir-ish deal, How to Succeed in Sports Writing Without Really Trying, is available now on Audible. Private Eyes, the TV series starring Jason Priestley

and inspired by Gare's mystery novel, The Code, can still be seen in reruns on Global. But Gare's earned his last dime from that show. Oh, and Ollie Thumbs, that was me, Toronto Mike. Muzica ¶¶ And with that, we conclude the CFCA broadcast day. Please stand and remove your hats.