Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Festivus Ep: Toronto Mike'd #776

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

Mike celebrates Festivus with Elvis and they discuss a cornucopia of topics.

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. What happened to the doll? It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us. Welcome to episode 776 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything.

Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, a fiercely independent craft brewery who believes in supporting communities, good times and brewing amazing beer. CDN Technologies, your outsourced IT department. Palma Pasta. Enjoy the taste of fresh homemade Italian pasta and entrees from Palma Pasta in Mississauga and Oakville. StickerU.com. Create custom stickers, labels, tattoos, and decals for your home and your business. Sammy Cone Real Estate. For a complimentary evaluation of your home,

contact Sammy Cohn. Sammy at SammyCohn.com and Ridley Funeral Home. Pillars of the community since 1921. I'm Mike from TorontoMike.com and joining me this week for his annual Festivus airing of grievances is my buddy Elvis. I watched the Festivus episode last night on Festivus Eve in my man cave and it holds up. It's still funny. I laughed out loud. It's good stuff. Numerous times. I forgot that it's also

the episode where Kramer, we realized what Kramer's job was and that's why he works at H&H Bagels and he's been on strike for like eight years or something like that. And we lost, I don't, is he alive last year? Yes. This is our first. Okay. Let's crack one

open for. So good. It's so cold. Jerry Stiller. Yes, Jerry. Ben's dad. Right. So here. What did you crack open?

A lake effect? I cracked open a lake effect. Yes. American IPA. Looks like a fisherman. Perhaps a Newfoundlander. On this lovely beer. On Lake Ontario. It's five degrees right now, is it?

About that, which is nice, right? It's not bad. Could have been minus five. I mean, if we were Californian, we would probably be complaining. For sure. Alright, let me crack open my Burst. Oh, is that like a fruity one? Yeah, it's a

fruity IPA that I like. Not a fan of the fruity IPAs. Ah, so good. So I loaded you up. Normally you get six beers, Elvis, but it's Festivus. Thank you. That's eight beers you got there. Thank you. It's a Festivus miracle.

It's a Festivus miracle. Pale ales. There's so many things to be thankful for this year. Okay. Where do we begin here? First, okay, we got grievances to air. Yeah. A lot of stuff to talk about, but just maybe give us an update.

Last time you visited, it was the summer. You had sadly just said goodbye to your father i was trying to remember i was here after my dad's passing for sure got you okay and it was the summertime right yeah i played uh my way oh yeah that's right yes i tried to make you cry i remember that yeah yeah no no usually we need to talk about gordon downey or something like that to cry uh actually i have a song that'll make you cry we went on like three or four episodes in a row crying one year i well here let me okay this will set the stage a bit let me play a bit a little bit of a jam and i'll just pray here to the baby jesus that it makes you cry because it's good podcasting good radio i love it like uh

you know i love it when a guest breaks down and usually usually it's me, by the way, who breaks down. But I love it when you break down. You have cried. Maybe I'll just get mad at you. Several times. Tell you to read the liner notes or something. I almost cried that day. All right, here we go.

Let's see if this does anything to you. Oh, I know what this is. I love this song so much. Please think about this, Elvis. Think about the fact that this gentleman, you loved George Michael. Yeah. He passed away on Christmas Day. I think I might have cried about George Michael, too.

That wouldn't call me off guard. The last couple of years, I've cried over celebrity deaths, starting with Prince. Prince was, I was a mess. But that makes sense. George Michael caught me off guard. But this is a good song this is wham technically isn't it yeah this is wham yeah this is a this is a really andrew ridgely was a key component uh in this song i don't have very many favorite christmas songs

so if there were if i pick three trying to do the math in my head if i were to pick three this would be number two, probably. So much to get to, Elvis. So much to get to because I have more songs, but we'll bring it down here. So how the hell is the Elvis family in Oshawa doing? We're surviving. We've had three kids at home schooling since September. I've been at home at work since March.

Get this, Mike. This is crazy. I did 65 flights last year. And then I did 10 in January and February. And I haven't basically haven't left the house since March. Wow. It's crazy. Like outside of the funeral week for my dad. Right. Haven't really done anything. Well, this is your second visit since then. So at least we got you to New Toronto a couple of times.

Yeah, I mean, this is a big deal. When you think about all the things that I've done or not done this year, coming all the way out here and sitting in your backyard for the second time is a big deal. Well, I was looking forward to this. I do this thing called Pandemic. I know you don't know anything about Toronto Mike, so I need to educate you.

No, I see it on the blog. You do it on Fridays. But you've never listened to a Pandemic Friday. No, because I need to educate you. No, I see it on the blog. You do it on Fridays with Stu Stone. But you've never listened to a Pandemic Friday. No, because I live one every Friday. Every day of the week I live a Pandemic Friday. Okay, well it's not just Stu Stone. See, it's also Cam Gordon. Yeah, it's the other guy. From the rival social... Right, yeah. Yeah, it's fine. From Twitter. Oh, he's from Twitter.

Twitter. Yeah. So it's the three of them, and then I see that you have Levee Flemke or whatever her name is. Well, no, sometimes when we do it on Zoom, she crashes the Zoom. Gotcha. In fact, tomorrow, so everyone listening... Did I say her name is well no sometimes when we do it on zoom she crashes the zoom gotcha in fact tomorrow so everyone listening right she's a nice one uh leave a fumka leave a fumka that's tomorrow uh we're recording a pandemic friday at 11 a.m tomorrow and it's an open zoom so even if you wanted to pop in like i have the link for you oh good okay send it to me anyone listening actually is welcome to dm me on twitter or email me, mike at torontomike.com,

and I'll send you the Zoom link. We're going to kick out our favorite holiday jams and then just bring in FOTMs as they pop into the Zoom room. Oh, right on. Bring them over and just say hi to people. Cool. It's going to be very festive. I'm into it.

I wonder if they would remember me. Because I only met them both at the Palma Pasta. Oh, TMLX5. TMLX5, yeah. What a great day that was. That was fun. Oh, by the way,

there's a lasagna in front of you. Yes, thank you. That's going to feed the family. Thank you very much. It's, uh, yeah,

it just got delivered. It's a frozen meat lasagna. Thank you, Palma Pasta. Thank you, Great Lakes for the beer. Thank you, Sticker U for the Toronto Mike stickers.

Elvis plasters them on his car. I got to talk to you about Sticker U, because I might have some business for them. what, I saw that you had, uh, El Duce on, uh, to talk to you about sticker you, cause I might have some business for them. Um, what I saw that you had, uh, El Duce on, uh, to talk about small businesses in the pandemic.

What, what's his, uh, what was his, uh, sort of perspective? you know, he wants,

uh, he thinks that, uh, we should be allowing small businesses to open up. He thinks it's going to be devastating for small businesses. He says with, with practices, not just like the old days, but maybe with

social distancing and masking up, he thinks that they should be allowed to open. He doesn't like this hard-handed approach to shutting things down like that. He thinks they should focus more where the actual spread is as opposed to what they're doing, which seems to be, in his opinion,

like a one-size-fits-all sledgehammer that just shuts down everything. So Elvis, I don't know, you're Elvis, but El Duce, I don't know if he likes that term anymore. Yeah, probably not, probably not. El Duce, well, it's his fault. He picked the damn term. He did, didn't he?

Anthony's not a happy camper these days. He's worried for his fellow small restauranteurs that are suffering greatly, my friend. But I have a question. How come your kids are doing remote learning? How come you didn't send them back to the classroom in September? Just felt that that was a more controllable option for us and

we had the choice, so we made the choice to keep them at home. Don't they drive you crazy? No. Not at all. They're great. Oh, you like them. Okay. Yeah, they're great. I mean, September was a little rough for everyone, but yeah, they're super self-sufficient at this point in time. We get to hang out at recess and at lunch. I work my schedule around them in that respect, which is great.

So we get to hang out and do stuff, and yeah, it works out well. Okay, good times. Did you decorate the oshawa compound the irony the irony in all this of course mike is that mrs elvis is a teacher and she goes to school every day oh that's funny yeah yeah but i we figured you know she's an adult so she can stay safer whereas you know expecting a six-year-old to be safe, which, based on my wife's experience, it's not. Interesting. Then it makes more sense to keep them at home.

This is really just such a beautiful song for this time of year because more so than ever, Christians are truly demonstrating how horrible people they are. They really are. Just bad, bad human beings. And of course, we get Bono in here reminding us that we should be happy, of course, that everyone else is starving and it's not us.

It's the classic line of this song. But yeah, Christians- Was it last year we went off on this song, last pandemic Friday? Yeah, I think so. Christians, more so this year than any other year, are just truly horrible, horrible people. Because their God is not the God in the sky.

Their God is the economy. Truly. Our politicians are murderers. They really have no desire. Is this one of your grievances? Oh, yeah, yeah. They have no desire whatsoever for the health and safety of the people of this province at all.

I mean, it's... They're not even hiding it. It's really just disgusting. So I've never taken a stance like this before, but if you have any desire to live in a province that cares about people at all

as much as politicians could you have to vote ndp next next time around it's the only option that you have really there's no other option i mean every single person in the government right now is just horrible they're real like they're actually bad people it's not about decisions and priorities they're just bad people they really are they don't care about anything i talked to my mpp in uh where i live and it it's a pc it's a tori and i was i had some concerns about the online learning and she only called me back to get dirt on what i was hearing from the board wow and wanting to know if there like, my complaints about what the board was doing or not doing,

which, like, do you, you know, clearly you don't care about students or people or safety. You just want to gain political points from a father who was concerned about what it was going to look like for my kids because there was no information that was available at the time. It just was really disgusting. Those who don't know Elvis as well as I do, this is not your normal, you don't normally go off on political rants. Not at all. Not at all. I mean, every single person who appears on that television screen

from the city of Toronto, from, you know, in Durham region, I just saw a letter that clearly from them, from the mayors of Durham in Durham region and I just saw a letter that clearly from them, from the mayors of Durham in Durham region and the regional chair, they just care about the economy. That's all it is. It's not, they don't, and they certainly don't care about small business. Absolutely not. Like just the quality of person in Walmart alone is like, why are you keeping Walmart open? There's no need to keep Walmart open. You know, Walmart does more bad for the people who work for Walmart, certainly in the United States,

than it does for the people who work there. So, you know, I'd rather go to Palma Pasta any time of the day. I mean, restaurants is hard, because even if it's a chain, it's still people who work there. But, you know, like there's no need for me to go to a big box store at this point in time. And I'll go out of my way to get curbside service from a small business if I could, no matter how hard the government is making me work for that.

So no Amazon drones coming to the... It's hard. I mean, it's hard because Amazon is convenient and it's, you know, there are some things. Aren't you a big Costco guy? You have a Costco room, right? I've been to Costco once in the pandemic because I'm not going to wait in line. That's the other thing, too, is that I'm not waiting in line for anything.

So if there's a line, I'll go back another time. But Costco, I've been once. I haven't been, yeah, very much at all. Okay, we'll come back for more grievances. I love it, Elvis. I love it. I've got a good sports one. Okay, hold that for a moment.

By request, is this one of your favorite Christmas songs? This would be number one. The Band-Aid one is number three. And I just love it because it's such a good indicator of how fake and hypocritical people who celebrate Christmas are. But this one is great. I mean, of course ACDC makes a Christmas song about cheating on your wife.

Mistress for Christmas. Which album is this from? This would be from Razor's Edge. Wow. Yeah. The big comeback, right? That's the big... Well, Back in Black was the...

Well, Back in Black was the... Yeah, but there's a lot of time between the two, right? Wasn't there? I don't think so. Was it almost a decade or am I dreaming that? You might be dreaming that. I don't know. I'll have to Google that here.

But the Razors... Is this the Razors Edge album? Yeah, it is the Razors Edge album. I was just going to quiz you if you knew that. Oh, I'm sitting on my phone. That's not good. Okay, so that was 1990. But of course, that's almost a decade between the two

because Back in Black. There might have been an album between there though, I think. But yeah, this was the one with Razor's Edge, which is like their... Yeah, there's a decade between the two. Okay, so Back in Black is 1980 and Razor's Edge, which is like... Yeah, there's a decade between the two. Okay, so Back in Black is 1980 and Razor's Edge is 1990. I remember in high school,

guys would write out ACDC on the walls in the bathroom. And just, that was it. Or, and then by the plugs in the hallways. They would write ACDC by the plugs. Right. And I just thought that was so cool. Back in Black, as I recall in my high school days,

I have a couple years on you, but Back in Black was essential. Everyone owned it. And it's still, when you had, I don't know, dances and stuff, you still heard a couple. Shook Me All Night Long, you heard. Yes, I would have been four. So ACDC wasn't something I discovered until high school

and was more thunderstruck than, than anything that was on back in black. But then of course that opened up, you know, all the other things that were there for me, the essential, I remember in grade,

was it grade eight, grade seven, the essential album that everyone had was use your illusion one and two. Absolutely. Elvis for sure. And we, we've kicked out a bunch of, we kicked out November Rain once at least.

I mean, there's a bunch of Elvis episodes in the can. If people are hearing their first Elvis episode, which is possible. You want to hear shitty music? Well, it's just, here's the thing. So you're, this is your second visit since the pandemic. Yeah. But there's a whole like new audience that are like,

they don't know the Elvis episode. You know, I realized that yesterday because I was going through your Twitter feed a little bit to prep. And you mentioned that Elvis was coming on the show. And listen, I understand my place and role in all this, which is very, very small and minuscule.

That's what she said. Exactly. Thank you. I never expected anyone to know who I am. However, one guy responded saying Elvis Costello or... Stoico. Stoico. Right. Like, reallyello or Stoico. Stoico, right. Like, really, Elvis Stoico?

But I guess that's a possibility for this podcast. Costello, maybe not. In fact, he's on next week. Yeah, I was like, shit, that guy doesn't know who I am. But then, of course, I had to chuck myself and be like, of course he doesn't know who I am. Why would he know? But there's a core, in fact, I hope a bunch will call in on the Zoom

tomorrow, but there's a core group that have been listening throughout who are absolutely delighted to have another Elvis episode. Like they know there's going to be F-bombs. They know you're going to, and again, and we do this every Festivus for those who don't know. So every year on December 23rd. And we decided this is number four or five.

This is five. This is five, right. So this is the fifth Festivus in a row you've shown up. This is the first time we did it outdoors. And we always, you know, air our grievances. And you've got more. So what's your sports? I love your grievances. Okay.

And I have more follow-up questions. Like, what do you think? Let's pick on the Doug Ford because they're responsible for a lot of these decisions in Ontario. Like, what should they have done differently? Well, I think what sums it up is the Beaverton really. I love that website. They had an amazing headline. I think it was on Monday or Tuesday when they announced that they were

shutting down on Boxing Day. Right. The headline was Doug Ford promises immediate action in four days. Right. Which is, you know, it's enough. You know, you can say. It's actually worse than that, you know, because what they do, I noticed, is they tease that we're going to make an announcement Monday.

And then things start to leak out through the weekend. So, I don't know, my wife and I will speculate, like, what are we doing if school's out till this? It's like he wants ratings. Right. It's like, you know, this is, you know. And then things leak out, and some not quite accurate, because they said it was going to be Christmas Eve was leaking out. And then he makes the announcement, and it's a little bit different than what you think is coming. But now you know what's going on.

But you're right. It doesn't take effect for four days. So it's like right now, I can't imagine what lineups are like throughout the city right now. Some people would suggest that the leaks are from his office. Sure, of course. To understand sort of what the public sentiment would be. They call that floating a balloon or whatever. Right.

Let's see what the reaction is. Now, to Ontarians' credit, today, which I don't give people much credit at all, really, because the Oshawa Centre has been, like, you know, police have been directing traffic in and out of that mall

pretty much since the middle of November. You know, it doesn't take a genius to understand that if you shut down Toronto and Peel, that instead of driving half an hour to your local mall, you're going to drive an extra 15, 15 minutes to 30 minutes to go to another mall.

So the Pickering Town Centre and Oshawa Centre have just been jammed since Toronto and Peel have been closed. And, you know, it seems to make a whole lot of sense that if you're going to shut down those regions, you got to shut down the whole GTA, right? Because the GTA is pretty easily, you know, you can drive around there pretty easily. Right. So anyway. And the Hammer too.

Like I think they call it the GTHA. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got to go all the way. I don't know if they like being in the GTA, but it's like the GTHA or something. Right. People in St. Catharines, I'm sure right now, are in the same position that folks in Oshawa felt like or Durham or York region for a long time, right? Like they shut down Toronto Appeal. I'm like, of course, you're going to drive to Markville Place. Right. Why wouldn't you? Right. So. It's a long bike region for a long time. Right. Like they shut down Toronto appeal. I'm like, of course you're going to drive to Markville place.

Right. Why wouldn't you? Right. So, uh, it's a long bike ride for me, just, you know,

pure genius move to suggest that, you know, you can shut down Toronto and then, you know, John Tory's not, not immune to this. Like the guy constantly is waiting for the promise to do something when it's like, John,

just fucking do something, man. Like, you know, you don't have to wait around for the promise to do something like, you know, grow a set and get her done,, man. Right. You know, you don't have to wait around for the promise to do something like, you know, grow a set and get her done, you know? Right.

But, you know, I've been pretty conservative through all this too. So I figure that it's, you know, the hope would have been that this is over. Like, just stay at home. Just stay at home. And this is done. What about all those industrial workers, though, that don't get paid sick days and need to go to work? Well, that's what, I mean, that's where we need to change.

We have a big bunch of money. We need to change things. We could pay people not to go to work. Well, that's what, I mean, that's where we need to change. We have a big bunch of money. We need to change things. We could pay people not to go to work. We need to change things. Yeah. I mean, this is part of like, you know, Anthony complaining, rightfully so, about a small business being left out. There's ways for us to compensate, right?

I'm not interested in compensating Walmart, but I'm interested in compensating Palma Pasta. Right. In fact. 100%. I mean, at the end of the day. And you're a great supporter of Palma Pasta. Yeah. At the end of the day, my're a great supporter of Palma Pasta. Yeah,

at the end of the day, my kids are going to be paying for this pandemic anyway. So let's just make sure that we're paying for it the right way and not paying for big companies

who have the insurance, basically, because they have a lot of money to be able to pay for this. Now, let's move on to something more. so wait, so before you tell us

the sports grievance, and I want all your grievances, I love this, I love this. Let's just tell people what we're going to do throughout this episode. So not only are we airing grievances and catching up, we're also, now, do you want to set the stage here? Like we each chose five jams, but they're very different.

Yeah, we did. We chose five jams to celebrate 2020, I think. So, okay. So I interpret it more as like where you're at in all this. So, okay. So, uh, and there'll be a theme you'll notice. Like I kicked out five of what I would I regard as like the most like, uh, positive, hopeful jams. Like I have five that jams that are drenched in hope and optimism. Right. Yours are are not. Do you want to kick out your first jam? Can I tell you my...

I can do the first jam if you want. You're the host. You tell me what to do. Give us the sports grievance and then I'll kick out your first jam. So you want positivity. I'll give you positivity. COVID brought us something super positive this year in the sports world. Can I guess? What was positive this year in the sports world?

I mean, it couldn't have been... You didn't have to buy overpriced beer at BMO Field. Well, you know, I do miss BMO Field, let me tell you. You couldn't have scripted this better. You know, the asshole gets what the asshole deserves, and

Vince Carter gets to never play basketball again and have no goodbye tour. It was the greatest thing. Is that it? Fuck you, man. I love the fact that you just got to stop playing basketball and no one got to say thank you. And no one's going to care until you come back to Air Canada Center.

Okay, so here's a good question. Joey Vendetta was talking about this on the radio. Joey Vendetta, he's from Gold Q107, guys. He loves dropping names, man. Is it EMI? Where the hell did he work? Live Nation? Live Nation, that's it.

I like dropping names, so I can't fault him for that. He loves dropping names, though. So who gets a banner first, or who gets their number of retired first? Bon Jovi. Can I even? Fuck that guy. Did you know he covered Fairy Tale of New York and it's horrible? Fuck that guy. Bon Jovi's terrible.

I know you're a big fan. I don't know if Bon Jovi's terrible. I think it's terrible music. Okay, that's fine. I don't know if he's personally. I don't think he's personally terrible. He runs his band like a corporation. I was going to say, you could say that that's fine. Okay, I don't know if he's personally. I don't think he's personally. He runs his band like a corporation. I was going to say, you could say that that is horrible. Like Bon Jovi is not Bon Jovi.

Bon Jovi is Jon Bon Jovi, right? And he hired, even Richie Sambora, who you think is a core founding member, is an employee of Bon Jovi. No? I don't even know. Richie Sambora got kicked out

because of substance abuse. Oh, see? Come on, you got to put him on a program and help him work with him. The big reunion, of course, The fattest squirrel ever. Oh, there? Come on, you've got to put him on a program and help him work with him. The big reunion, of course, was when... The fattest squirrel ever. Oh, there you see how fat these squirrels are right now? The big reunion was at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when they got in. Oh, see, I'm into it. Okay.

See, now, my buddy and I have talked about this before. Like, you know, Bon Jovi now and Def Leppard are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And as much as they've had extreme, extreme commercial success... More than words. No, that's extreme, extreme commercial success. More than words. No, that's extreme. Extreme commercial success.

Right. I don't think either one of those bands should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Interesting. But I also don't think Biggie Smalls should be in there either. Or Janet Jackson. Is it because they're not rock and roll? Well, I think part... Who?

Biggie or Janet? Janet Jackson and Biggie Neither are rock andye. They're not rock and roll. So you need, first of all, you need to rename it to the Music Hall of Fame. Okay. Excuse me. Burp on the camera like Howard Stern does it. You can do it. And then two, oh, that's another big thing that happened in 2020. Eddie

Vedder came on, did a long... I wouldn't know because I cancelled my Howard Stern. Oh, see, I never had it. So I cancelled it. You know why? It's a horrible show when he's in his basement. Is my show now better my Howard Stern. Oh, see, I never had it. I canceled it. You know why? It's a horrible show when he's in his basement. Is my show now better than Howard Stern's show like Mark Weisblood said? Yeah, I mean, I listen to yours more than I listen to his.

When was your last Toronto Mike listening experience? Probably when I was here. But by virtue of me listening to it while I'm here means I'm listening to it more than Howard Stern. Okay. What was I saying other than fuck howard who's who's uh whose number is getting retired oh yeah yeah who's okay keep talking i'm gonna find what more who's in the who's up in the rafters first is it kyle lowry or is it vince carter and you'd probably think Vince Carter just by virtue of the fact that he's

going to, he's retired first, right? But everyone sort of openly discusses that Kyle Lowry is the greatest Toronto Raptor ever. So do you, given that it would be the first number you retire or first, I don't know if they'll retire the number,

but the first person you put up, he's the favorite Toronto Raptor ever. He's not the greatest Toronto Raptor ever. Like Kawhi Leonard is a better,. He's the favorite Toronto Raptor ever. He's not the greatest Toronto Raptor ever. Kawhi Leonard is the greatest Toronto Raptor ever, but Kyle Lowry should be the first guy to get a statue. Yeah, if you listen to Sports Talk Radio here in the city, Kyle Lowry is the undisputed best Toronto Raptor and also the first one to get a statue. Which I would agree.

He's the favorite Toronto Raptor. He's not the best Toronto Raptor. Listen, you talk to any of the guys. I don't know what they're saying. You listen to any of the guys, and that's what they say. Okay, here's my two cents. I think Vince gets his number retired first. You think?

Yeah, because Kyle's still playing. Kyle's been in the league for 15 years. Right. His contract's up after this season. He may leave Toronto. Yeah, but he probably won't retire after this year. I think he'll play somewhere. Do you think he'll play here?

As long as he's playing in the league, he can't get his number. Right, right. Well, I mean, yeah, stranger things have happened. Yeah, you're right, you're right. So the odds are that Vince would get his banner, because I think Vince will get his banner up there. But I will, you know, I changed my mind. I also changed my mind.

What did you change your mind about? I said that once Vince retires, I will forgive him. And you're not going to forgive him. And I'm not forgiving him. Or his mom. I forgave him long ago. You did. It feels nicer to forgive him.

It's just nicer. Where did you get that heater? The horrible Amazon.com. Oh, because I'm thinking of getting one for my garage. Not because I routinely hang out in my garage, but just because I could then have a buddy over and we can have a beer. Garage beers.

I have it because I don't want this to get too cold. Right, right, right. I don't want this to get too cold because there's like thousands and thousands of dollars And Mike is pointing to his board and his laptop. For those watching on Facebook Live. Oh, yeah, that's right. You can watch on Facebook Live. So, okay, so that's good that we can mention this.

Once Twitter announced they were going to shutter Periscope, I said, fuck that. I'm not live on Periscope anymore. It's going to disappear in March. So I'm now finding a new home. FOTM Ian's service is actually developing something like a proprietary live streaming for us because one of the problems

is we play music. We're going to play like... Yeah, and you don't. We're going to play music. And Facebook... And they mute it. Like Facebook, the ones like Twitch,

Facebook, and who's the other guy? YouTube don't like it. Their algorithm will pick it up and they'll mute it or they'll give me a spanking or something. Periscope didn't give a fuck. So I was on Periscope because they let me play music. It never bothered me. So I have to figure all that out.

But I'm in transition. I'm in transition. So this episode is live on Facebook and we'll see what they do to the on-demand video. Once we start kicking out these jams, we don't have any rights to play. So we'll find out. But Ian Service, we're working on something. I've had a $5 bill in my wallet. I don't even know why I have it in my wallet because I don't have cash normally.

But if the $5 in my wallet will help, I'm happy to make a donation. But Ian and I have a plan and it's exciting because it'll be like live.torontomic.com is where you'll go for live streams and commenting in real time and all that. What are you going to do for your son and your daughter

who are not going back to high school until the end of the month? Well, okay, so I only have one kid in high school. Oh, I thought. Michelle.

I thought Michelle wasn't. She's already been doing a hybrid, so she'll just follow the rules and do her remote learning. It's the two little ones that have now, they've never done remote learning so there's a week now between the fourth and the 11th where they'll be uh they'll be remote learning for the first time right so that's junior kindergarten in grade one so my son is in grade one so that the grade one he'll be

fine it's the junior kindergarten it'll take it'll take him a couple weeks, but they only have one week because they're back on the 11th. Yeah, they're not back on the 11th. Do you think that's true? Why not just announce that now so we can all make preparations? Because they're dumb. I mean, this goes back to the whole concept. They're dumb. That is dumb because I would like to know now the future of my children

because we're their childcare and we work. Here's the whole thing. I would respect if they now the future of my children because we're their child care here's the whole thing like I would respect if they would just get on TV and be like listen we know you're all idiots and you're all going to get together because you think that some fake god gave birth to another fake baby on the 25th and you're insistent that that isn't properly celebrated unless you're all together in the same house.

Because somehow that was dictated, you know, when this happened. So, okay, you're going to be a jackass and, you know, do that. Fine. So what we're going to say is everything is going to get shut down, schools included,

for a minimum of two weeks after that. Because we're going to assume that everyone who gets together for Christmas is going to get COVID. And then we'll give you the 14 days plus to get it out of your system before you bring it back into schools. Of which, before any of this happened, 20% of schools already had COVID. So clearly that's not working out.

But we're just going to go with that because Stephen Letchie thinks that that's safe. But there is a, and I just going to go with that because, you know, Stephen Lecce thinks that that's safe. But there's, there is a, and I, I rarely defend any of them. This government has, has declared in the last nine months, but I do think that it is prudent to add that extra week between, so there's two weeks. Sure. But because I think that is true. People, I mean, we're not, we're shut down here, but to add the extra week I get, but to at least to add the extra week, down here but to add the extra week i get but to at least to add the extra week but then to and to think that teachers can can do online learning for that week listen i have no nothing against teachers but when i heard my kids teachers for that first two three weeks right on you know they're they're using google classroom but zoom. Right. And as somebody who has lived on Zoom for a number of years before this,

and they don't know how to run a classroom on Zoom, and they shouldn't know how. It takes time. Aren't you using Teams over there? To do that for a week is just, it doesn't make any sense. I mean, I know it's inconvenient for parents and stuff. So just make it a week off, you're saying.

Just make it a week off. Extend it for at least a week off. It should probably be another week because you would assume that people are going to get together for New Year's as well. Right. So I think,

I think, you know, I think that, I don't know, in my circle, which is not very large, but the circle people I know, none of them are doing New Year's

or Christmas gatherings. Dude, dude, come on. I don't know any Oshawa people. We dropped E last night at a storage area party. I thought it was like ecstasy, like you dropped ecstasyawa people. We dropped E last night at a storage area party. I thought it was like ecstasy.

Like you dropped ecstasy last night. Yeah, E. Me and you dropped E together in a storage unit party. Okay, I got you now. I'm with you. I'm with you. This is what's happening. Kipling and something.

You're right. You're right. Okay. They're building a brand new self-storage near my house. I can't wait to go party in it. It's going to be amazing. All my parties are outdoors. You know that.

Okay, let me kick out your first jam. So do you want to preface? You want me to kick it out, and then we'll hear why you chose it. Sure, because I don't know. Is it the order I sent it? I just put them up in the order you sent it. But here we go. Oh, me Irish roots.

Fucking love this band. Rest in peace, Dol's right love delores she was great singer and super hot super hot for like in the 90s when they were really big oh dude yeah super hot i mean yeah okay let me get so anyway well do you want to hear a bit of it yeah yeah Oh, dude, yeah. Super hot. I mean, yeah. So anyway. Well, do you want to hear a bit of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, here we go. Another head hangs lowly Child will slowly take care And the violence Curses silence

Who are we mistaken? And the violence causes silence. Who are we mistaken? But you see, it's not me. It's not my family. In your head, in your head. Do you remember Beats? You met him at the TNLX. So we're live on Facebook. In real time, he saw your beard and he said,

you got Artie Lang on the show. I have not trimmed my beard in a while. I haven't got a haircut since my dad's funeral, which is June. Wow. And I didn't put anything in it. I thought it'd be longer. Yeah, I didn't put any. And it's coming down to my eyes and everything.

Oh, and there's disappointment from a couple of FOTMs, including Lieve Fumka and Moose Grumpy, that your beard is not more wild. They thought it would be... Oh, yeah? No? I try and trim that a little bit more. It's harder to explain not trimming my beard than getting a haircut. And there's a request.

Murray! Murray! He wants us to play Corey Hart's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I don't think that's going to happen today, Murray, but anyway, I wanted to check in on how things were going if this was working. But okay, why this wonderful

jam, Zombie by the Cranberries? Yeah, because coronavirus turns people into zombies for all sorts of good reasons. Do you know anyone personally who has contracted COVID-19? I do. You don't give names, but how do you know them? Through work more than personal life.

But one scary story like uh let me think do you know any canadians with covet i'm just curious do i know any canadian well if i don't know any canadians with covet then it's not real right so i didn't say that uh well that's the argument that you hear right if you don't know any anyone with covet then how is it possibly real i don't know any canadians with covet i don't think. It's not real, folks. You heard it here first. But I mean, it's not like people are just, you know, broadcasting it. I think there's a certain stigma if you do get it

because people assume that... I'd fucking talk about it on the show. I'd be, I mean, I'd move everything to Zoom and I'd be like, I got COVID. Ask me anything. Okay, so you chose zombie because there's this COVID-19, the people, what, were walking around like zombies because we're masked up and keeping our distance. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I mean, at the beginning, that was sort of the joke is that, you know, we'd go out for walks as a family in the evening. And you see somebody and, you know, it was a way for me to reinforce my kids that you need to, like, you know, keep your distance because everyone was a zombie, zombie dogs, blah, blah, blah. everyone was a zombie, zombie dogs, blah, blah, blah. But I also think that, you know, not to get political again, but a lot of our people are in this province are zombies as it relates to making sure that we show each other that we love each other because we buy each other presents. I didn't buy you shit. That's really the way in which we show people that we love each other, right? Don't get me started. If I have a grievance, it's that this holiday

which I haven't liked for a very long time. I'm conflicted. The four-year-old and six-year-old are ecstatic about Santa coming and that makes the teenagers and my wife and I, it really is nice. We watch these movies, they ask these interesting questions, they're very excited, they're writing notes and everything

and it really does make me, I really enjoy this through like, through their eyes. But if, and I've been in this world where my kids didn't feel that passion for the whole thing. And it's not, it just sucks because everything's so commercialized. It's like you feel this pressure to buy stuff for people, like stuff they don't need, just because you need to have, you need to give stuff to people to prove that. Well, I mean, how else are you going to tell someone you love them? Right.

You have to give them something, you know, that's expensive and right. You know, not just one thing, multiple things. And it, I mean,

I'm not joking. I mean, that's, that's really what society says. Of course he is just checking. I don't know. If he didn't come, like,

I mean, how would, how would people know that I love my children? You can know like that's that's the thing i mean but also hey like you know isn't that the message too like if you don't believe in santa then you're a bad person right you know i don't know well i don't know because santa and god i get them confused like they're both old guys of white beard we we did go see santa there's a thing out in in the east, Santa's Cottage, and they do it up pretty good, and it

was very safe this year. It wasn't inside. Okay, so two things. So I took a picture of it. My kids zoomed of Santa. Hold on. I took a picture of it, and I sent it to a friend of mine, and I said, look, my kids went to go see Jesus today. And she's like, what? I'm like, oh, sorry. The stories get conflated, and I get confused myself.

I get them mixed up. I don't want to trash everybody, all the believers out there. Both of them. You can do it. But I will say that my kids did Zoom with Santa and Monica recorded. I was actually not here. Where the hell was I? How could you not be here?

Where did you go? I was at Great Lakes Brewery. I did a live thing from outside. I was recording at Great Lakes, but they did a Zoom. How is your business, by the way? It's the same. It's not so bad. I thought it would be a big letdown from 2019. I was just today in the

accounting software. 2020 and 2019 are very similar. TurboTax says hi. I don't use TurboTax, actually, but my Wave apps, I'm in there. Can we just say something? I've never talked about this before but since i'm in the business of trashing commercialism uh i've used studio tax for the last probably 10 years okay and from what i gather it is a collection of accountants and developers who

create like a free version of tax software. And I pay zero dollars. Oh, I pay zero for mine. I pay zero dollars. I don't need to, they ask for a donation. So if I'm inclined, I give it. But it is an absolutely free software. Shout it out.

What's the name? Studio Tax. Okay. So since TMDS was born, I've been using something called Wave Apps, Wave, W-A-V-E, and they get compensated when people pay me via credit card. So long as my clients... I'm telling this, everybody, okay? I would never be so rude.

Oh, okay. So you get paid. Right. So they get paid because they take a 2.9%, I think, of all money I get via credit card. But when people pay me, because a lot of my clients will email transfer or ETF or some drop a check in the mail, in the snail mail. That's crazy. I keep 100% of my money there. But some clients choose to pay via credit card,

in which case this company, Wave, takes 2.9%. But for using the software and great reports and it's great, like sends the invoice and it follows up and these reminders, all of that, it's been awesome, actually. That's great. For two plus years. It cost me nothing beyond a percentage of credit card payments.

That's great. Well, I mean, a lot of small businesses will charge you 3% extra if you pay by credit card. Right. Because that's the fee that goes to the thing. Right, because that goes to the... And the other companies that, or the other businesses that do that a lot, I've noticed, is Chinese restaurants or sushi restaurants. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if you pay cash, you get 10% off kind of thing.

Which is smart. So, I always, like, wink, wink to my clients. Like, if you can email transfer or ETF or wire transfer, yay, because then I get 100% of the money. And a lot of businesses, I bet, get free EMT as well. Right. Like, I get free EMT as well. Right. Like I get free EMTs with my bank. Oh, yes. Electronic money transfer.

I had to figure out what EMT was. Because I make so much money. They're just like, Perry, we want you to get it out of your account as free and quick as possible. Right. I'm kidding. Right. Yeah, but you're right. That would come with the service level.

So I'm, listen, I'll EMT you some fucking money after this. Okay, do it there. You have a smartphone, right? Okay, so let me kick off. right right right right yeah but you're right that it would come with the service level so i i'm listen i'll emt you some fucking money okay do it do it there you have a smartphone right okay so let me kick out so that was so elvis kicked out the cranberries zombie right because uh everybody's walking around like zombies in this pandemic and it's a very uplifting positive reminder of what 2020 so then now juxtapose that That's Elvis' first jam of five. And here's my first jam of five. Oh, nice. Good moment.

I'll check in on the Facebook Live. Hi, everybody to Facebook Live, by the way. You're not on Facebook, right? Nope. I'm not on any social media anymore. Just LinkedIn. I noticed that when you deserted Twitter that I couldn't tag you anymore. Yeah, I went to...

And I couldn't add you to FOTM groups. I got rid of Facebook first, then got rid of Twitter, and then got rid of Instagram. Does Reddit count? No. You can just lurk on Reddit. Yeah, I'm on Reddit and I've never liked, commented, or done anything on Reddit. James Patterson says Merry Christmas. Hey, James.

Merry fucking Christmas. So I chose Bill Withers' Lovely Day because it's an uplifting, positive song. It's a great song. We lost him, by the way, in the last year as well. This is a lovely day, though, too, by the way. Really? Quite literally. Yeah.

In fact, if you notice, we're building a skating rink over there. I noticed that. That's pretty cool. So we're thinking maybe, I don't know, in the next couple, maybe in a couple of days, we'll actually get the weather where we can get a little bit of ice in there but we were doing some uh very small type of hockey camps for my son oh yeah going in and out of the arena was very very interesting dude oh very very interesting uh like no change rooms or anything and you come in in full gear minus your skates and helmet right Right. Um,

but listen, the kid's six years old. He needs an outlet. I know it's a pandemic and everything. And I just like railed on the government for it. But the amount of kids on the ice was very, very small, you know,

ultimately probably shouldn't have been there, I guess. But kids fucking six years old. He's got to, he's got to do something. I'm like a six. I agree with you a hundred percent. We've been doing the Taekwondo online.

Oh yeah. Okay. So it would be a zoom or whatever. And, uh, I was a little, I was disappointed at first because we're in, he's at this age.

Cause before he graduates to the indoor league, he's in the world's largest outdoor hockey league, which is Swansea Hockey Association. And they play outdoors at Rennie Park. And this was his first year at House League because he was a Timbit last year. So Morgan was going to be a Timbit this year and Jarvis was going to play House League at Swansea

and they cancelled it. And at first I was like, oh, that's kind of sad. That's kind of part of why we're doing this because they can skate around or whatever. But it kind of sucks. But's kind of part of why we're doing this, because they can skate around or whatever. But it kind of sucks. But at least when they're young, they miss a year. They just start a year later.

Everyone's in the same boat. I put my boy in skating lessons as well. Okay, cool. Like figure skating lessons. Oh, that'll help with his career. It's hockey lessons, but all the instructors are figure skaters. Was Elvis Stoico there?

For the most part, they wore figure skating skates as well. So it was interesting to see the instructors, you know, with their white or black skates on and all the boys and girls with their full hockey gear on. But the unique thing was that they didn't wear, they didn't skate with a skate, with a stick, excuse me.

Right. And it was all skating. And so my, my whole argument was, you know, my kid's six years old. If he can skate, you know,

better than 75% of his team, he's like fucking Wayne Gretzky at six years old. Oh yeah. Right. I mean like you can just skate circles. at six years old. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can just skate circles around him. He would always have the puck. I just think... And then the other parents get mad at you

because your kid is too good. Well, I just think it would make it more fun. Right? He loves scoring. Dude, it's so amazing to watch a six-year-old play hockey because even in practice, just a random puck comes on a stick

and he puts it in the net. His hands go up in the air like he just won the fucking Stanley Cup. It's the greatest thing ever. It's beautiful. It really is. But we won't be playing for at least a month now, I think. So if anyone has any doubts as to where we're going and how we're getting there, this is a good one for the post. That's where we're going, Mike. One-way ticket, baby. I'm on the highway to hell

That's where we're going, Mike. One-way ticket, baby. All right, talk to me. This is the second ACDC song. Who tells us Elvis is in the house? Going to hell in a handbasket, really. One of the best things about this past year, and you're going to laugh at me

because I have another song that I specifically chose for you. This song is because it's Highway to Hell and it's a great song and that's where we're going. But another highlight for me in 2020, which is crazy. I wouldn't have believed it. Is that ACDC came out with another

new album. I would believe that. Wow. Yeah. But it's good. It's good. It is good good it is good it is good music what's the album called shit uh it's called shit that's a good title it's okay we can i'll google it while you tell us so tell us about like i take it it's full of like great rock ballad it is i mean okay so you know how the uh the uh the thing about ACDC that people power up, I think it's called? Power up. That's it.

The thing that I read a quote. I can't believe I missed this quote, but people said, I guess someone asked Angus. Angus, how do you feel about people saying that you've had all these many albums and they all sound the same? I'm going to get the right quote. The exact quote. It's just so good. While you're doing that, who is on vocals for Highway to Hell?

All right. Here's the quote. I believe this is Brian Johnson. It's Brian Johnson, right? Because it's back in black, isn't it? Or is this Bon Scott? No. It's Bon Scott?

This is Bon Scott. Because it's from... It's Bon Scott. It's from the Devil's Porns album? That's why it's interesting because this is like the last album, I guess, before he passed or whatever. And this is like 79 and then back in black is 80. So when you ask Angus Young about the fact that they made all of their albums sound the same way.

And that's the sort of like, you know, the criticism of ACDC, even though they've sold more albums than any other hard rock band. And they've, you know, you can't argue with their success, whether you like their music or not.

And right. I don't know if I've ever met anyone who doesn't like their music, you know, like really, I don't know. Like, I don't think humble and Fred like it. They find it too strident.

I don't know what that means. Is that like a tribe? And they also don't like Led I don't think Humble and Fred like it. They find it too strident. I don't know what that means. Is that like a trident? But they also don't like Led Zeppelin. Oh, come on. All right. So this is why, yeah, I don't like, I've never, yeah. This is why you don't like Humble and Fred. Humble and Fred for me had their time with me.

And I like them, but it's over. You left them in the 90s. So if you were to ask Angus Young right now about the fact that all ACDC music sounds the same, what do you think about that? His response is, I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same. That's a good line.

They figured it out. They got the formula. Why would they divert from that? It works. And the only outlier is the song Razor's Edge. If you're at home right now, listening to this podcast, press pause and then go to your music

selection of your choice. Is that a ballad? Listen to Razor's Edge. And it is more of a experimental type of rock song. Now, Elvis, I took a different approach. Yeah.

So we've got one, actually two. As we speak, Canada has approved the Moderna vaccine. They did it like. Yes, I saw that. People are starting.

You can start to see on, you know, social media, you'll hear about healthcare professionals, et cetera, getting the vaccination. Okay. Ian McKellen got the vaccination. People are starting to get the shot in the arm. How did he get it?

Because he's old. Their system is by age, I think. Do you know how it is that we sign up for it? In Canada? I'm assuming that we're not getting it until September, right? Me and you? No, they said, well, hopefully a little earlier, but by September, everybody should get it.

But yeah, we're a lower priority. And I'm not sure exactly, I'm not sure if Canada's published exactly how it works, but right now healthcare professionals and long-term care residents are getting it. And rightly so, I'd say. So get them done. And then we can start figuring it out if it's by age.

Maybe it's like people over 75. And then maybe people over 65. Maybe people with underlying health conditions. Like, I don't know. But I'll wait my turn. I'm a patient Canadian. And do you know, are our doctors going to give it to us? Or do we have to go to a place to get it? Well, I don't know.

Like, how do you get your flu shot? Like, this year, I actually signed up for the city clinic. It was at the Metro Toronto Convention Center and I booked it. And I booked a time slot online and I just biked over and got the shot in the arm. I thought it might be like that.

Maybe it'll be like these big clinics. I tried to go to my pharmacy. Yeah, it was sold out. I mean, it was gone, right? They were gone. I noticed that too. My shoppers were shoppers. So we ended up going to my kid's family doctor. So I don't have an answer. I don't think we know these answers.

We should also here, let me be hopeful for a moment. Theoretically, this winter will suck because it's just kind of starting and we're all kind of locked down and there's more cases than ever and we're all being very careful, hopefully. But people are starting to get vaccinated

and in theory, if all goes according to plan, next winter should be better. So I'm hopeful. And of course, the song, which is gorgeous and not just because it was used so brilliantly in... With my flowing locks. The furious... What's the movie of... Self-Central. What's the movie I'm thinking of With my flowing locks. The Furious... What's the movie of...

Self Central. What's the movie I'm thinking of with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Ice Cube in... Boys in the Hood. I can't remember the name of the fucking movie. Great movie. This song is perfect in that movie.

I just rewatched that maybe a year ago. It was really good. That scene with the dad with this song is really strong. Yeah, it's really good. The whole thing is good. The whole thing is good. Spike Lee, right? No, the guy who passed away. It was really good. That scene with the dad with this song is really strong. it's really good. The whole thing is good. The whole thing's good. Spike Lee, right?

No, the guy who passed away. Oh yeah, it's not Spike Lee. John Singleton. John Singleton, that's right. Yeah,

he just died like last year, I think. So I love this song. Things are going to get easier and I really think, hang in there. Like this is shitty right now, but things are going to get easier.

So what you're saying is that we're on a highway to hell, but well, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Like, right. And I didn't feel this way until this is a new phenomenon for me. I was pretty,

whatever this sucks. And then have you had people, have you had people on your blog? I tried to find this out yesterday too, but then I got bored. Uh, are people on your blog, uh,

questioning the speed of vaccine? No, but there are, you know, and as you know, I changed CMSs this summer and most commenters disappeared when I changed because it used to be completely wide open. It was a pain in the ass. It's a pain in the ass to comment right now. There's two things about your website. It's using Disqus and Disqus requires that you have a login. There's two things about your website though that I've noticed have changed.

What else has changed? The comments are... It's harder, and there's more ads on it. And I know you're going to make... I can turn down the ads. I have it on a default setting with Google.

I can turn that down. Every time I click on a story to read, I get a full-page ad. I have to change that. Listen, I also... I click on every ad, and I know that you make money off it. So that's why I do it.

It's fine. I'm not complaining about that. I like the site for archival purposes, and I still do blog there, but it's... Right, it's more of a... My focus not complaining about that. I like the site for archival purposes, and I still do blog there, but my focus is elsewhere, to be honest. But I had to move everything off movable type, and I had a big project with Mark Carey this summer, and we did move everything.

We saved every comment, every art, which is kind of my priority. Oh, good. I'm glad every one of my comments is saved. All the Elvis. But it's strange. Sometimes I'll go to an old entry, and I'll read an exchange,

and I'll see, you're in there chiming in. My buddy Mike Kick is chiming in. And I kind of read the stuff we were saying back in like 2005 or something. 2008. I can't imagine. It's quite something. Now, let me start your song and then we'll talk more. This is Elvis' third jam.

Oh, I love this song so much. It's a symphony. How cultured. Wow. look at you so normally you would feel like can we agree that Metallica is one of the best bands in the world that's a great band and you have so much departure from that band Can we agree that Metallica is one of the best bands in the world? Right?

That's a great band. And you have so much departure from that band, right? They're kind of like, I'm trying to think of an equivalent. I don't know. They're kind of like the Yankees. You mean how they cross over? No, no, no. Oh, I see.

They're kind of like the Yankees. It's a horrible analogy, but the Yankees are just consistently good. But, you know, they go from Babe Ruth and Garrick to, you know, Mr. October and then Jeter. And then now you've got Judge and, you know, it's just like a revolving door of amazing talent. And same with Metallica. Like you have, you know, Dave Mustaine and Cliff Burton. Now Cliff died. Dave Mustaine goes off and makes Megadeth.

And then you have, what's his name? The other guy who left. And they're just like still really good uh dave mustaine however as much as he is he's he's very much in love with jesus uh i mean he created this amazing band megadeth right and you've got this amazing song symphony of destruction which is really a great song for 2020 because you know a lot of things in our society just went to shit. Destructed if you will. And I had the opportunity to meet

Dave Mustaine believe it or not at Arrow Hall in Mississauga. I've seen concerts there. I saw Weezer there once. So this is when I knew the world had shifted for me. Yeah. Or one of the times, anyway. I went to go see Megadeth. Everyone else at the show was there to see Lamb of God.

Wow. I didn't even know Lamb of God. And so quite literally there was a shift. First of all, no one was in the beer garden because no one was of age. So me and my buddy and other older guys dressed in black jeans and, you know, black t-shirts were in the beer garden. And everyone's at the front watching Lamb of God and a bunch of other bands that, you know, people who like hard rock would love. And then when they got off stage, all of the young people left. And then the old people went to the front to go watch Megadeth.

It was crazy to see. But it was one of the very few times that I've paid to meet the band. I did a VIP meet and greet thing. How much was that? Was that expensive? I can't even remember. It was probably $200 at the time. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago.

Which isn't all that much when you think that the ticket probably cost me $75 probably, I'm thinking. I would never do it again. I mean, it's horrible. But don't you, I don't like the premise. It's sort of like going to a strip club. I don't like the idea that they're only meeting you because you gave them money. Like that whole thing.

I like it. Listen, I know you're a VIP member of OnlyFans. Okay. So don't talk to me about how this is. Listen, I agree with you. It's ridiculous because you're meeting a dude. You're not meeting Dave Mustaine. Right. You're meeting Dave. Right. And Dave doesn't want I agree with you. It's ridiculous because you're meeting a dude. You're not meeting Dave Mustaine. You're meeting Dave.

And Dave doesn't want to talk to you. But you get your pic with him, right? You get a picture with him and you get a moment? I don't know if I got a picture with him. I don't think I got a picture with him. I met three of the band members. It's a cameo. I don't want to pay somebody to shout me out. Cameo is fun as a gift.

Okay, as a gift. I've gotten cameos, I've given cameos, and they're fun. But I get it. I'm in love with Lindsay Lohan. I didn't know that. She's back on Cameo now for $215 US. Still too much money. When she first joined, Cameo

was $500. But nothing would please me more to get a five second video from lindsey lohan saying hey elvis how are you i'm lindsey lion that would be great but even though she's only doing it because she's reading a script that she was paid money to read it's fine it's fine it's better than the hookers I've gone to. Well, I don't know about that. Okay, I got a few things to say. First of all, Metallica. That was like a mother's yelp.

I got raked over the coals. Is that an okay expression anymore? I never know until I say it. Sure, raked over coals, yeah. Okay. Because in a pandemic Friday, I kicked out Hero of the Day because I- Awesome. My heart.

Yes, all heart. All heart. Sorry, all heart. Well, that's it. So the premise of the episode with Stu Stone and Cam Gordon was songs that you loved more because you saw them on a TV show or a movie.

Excuse me, all heart would be one. Right, but then I got raked over the coals because that's a YouTube video. It's not a TV show or a movie. Oh, stop. Stu Stone. But I stood my ground and they still bring it up as a terrible selection. But I'm glad I kicked out Hero of the Day. No, stop. But I stood my ground and they still bring it

up as a terrible selection. But I'm glad I kicked out Hero of the Day. That's a good one. I love Hero of the Day because it reminds me of the Wendell Clark All Heart video. I played that for my son recently. Yeah. And then halfway through I realized I should not be showing this to my son. Because they're punching people in the head. I mean, like we took them to the

for my son's last birthday in October. So 19, 2019. We took them to a, for my son's last birthday in October. So 19, 2019, we took them to a generals game and there was a fight. Right. And I'm just like, like we had the whole talk on the way home. Cause I'm, I'm very anti-fighting in hockey. I just think it's stupid, especially in the OHL. But you were standing up for that fight. No, I was not.

My wife was, so we had to talk about that as well. But I mean, like 16 and 17 year old kids like punching each other. So why do we love the Wendell Clark old heart video? Well, because it brings, so I had to talk about that as well. But I mean like 16 and 17 year old kids like punching each other doesn't make any sense. So why do we love the Wendell Clark old heart video? Well because it brings so I had the question

I had the conversation with myself Mike about this because I really You should have called me up I would have talked you through it. I think I chalked it up to memories. Nostalgia.

Right. Yes. Which you're anti-nostalgia. I'm not anti. Historically you're not a nostalgic person. I'm not automatically. Historically, you're not a nostalgic person. I'm not automatically in love with nostalgia like you are. Okay.

Because when I see, you're right. I remember as a, I don't know, like an 11-year-old watching Leaf games and cheering for Wendell Clark when he had his fight and his wrist shot and everything. And when I watch these montages, I remember how much I loved Wendell and that made me love the song more, but it's all tied to nostalgia. Yeah. And then you go back and then I played the Barshevsky goal in overtime against Red Wings.

And then I played the Gilmar goal against Curtis Joseph in the blues. Yeah. And my son's just staring at the screen, like, you know, like, what the fuck, dad? What are you doing? Right. I'm just like, this is the greatest. Yeah. Like, forget about the Sundin years.

I'm like, this is the greatest. And he's just looking at me like, you know. I find it easy to forget about the Sundin years because I go back, like you, to the Pat Burns era. And I skip the Pat Quinn era. It's like, I know that we reached two final fours, but I go back to the Pat Quinn era. And he just wants to watch Austin Matthews and John Tavares. Yeah, it's like my 18-year-old, his moment like that is the Kawhi Leonard four-bouncer. Right, right.

He wants me to grow a mustache like Austin Matthews. Yeah, well, you should. You should. I'm going to start my jam. Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say. Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad.

Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble. Give a whistle. And this'll help things turn out for the best. Ay! Always look on the bright side of life. Okay, shout out to Graham Chapman,

John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. This is, of course, that's Monty Python. Fucking great shot. And this is from Life and Brian. And it's, I find it very optimistic and reassuring. Because when life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold. And this is fucking awful right now.

But like anything, we can find bright side in everything. Yeah, like Vince Carter not getting a good vibe. Right. Do I pee outside or inside? Well, I mean, we're live. I mean, it's daylight. It's daylight, right?

Let me start Aerosmith. Okay? And then I'll unlock the side door. But I have to listen to the song. But you can't have everything in life. I'll start Aerosmith, and you'll be back. That's a five-minute song. All right.

Okay. So I can go inside? Yeah. Can you hang on two minutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Or are you going to pee your pants? No, no, no.

Because you're not a young man now. How's aging going for you? I'm fine. It's funny. I have noticed that getting up in the morning, I can get up and stuff, but like the first... Erections? The first few steps in the morning is kind of like, ooh.

That hurts a little bit. But other than that, it's fine. What are you doing for exercise these days? Biking. I'm zwifting. Oh, in a side bike. But other than that, it's fine. What are you doing for exercise these days? Biking. I'm Zwifting. Oh, in a side bike. Yeah, yeah, in a side bike. I thought you were biking on the streets of Oshawa. No, no, no. Fuck that.

What's it called? Zwifting? Zwifting. Okay, is this a thing you bought? Z-W-I-F-T. So it's through my Apple TV, and I have a smart trainer, and I can like, you know, the other day I biked the Champs-Élysées. Okay, I was there.

Yeah. But I wasn't there while you were biking. Right. I was there, too, but not biking. I was there the other week. But I haven't been to as many places as you. I get excited when you name a place I've been to. Right, yes.

I got engaged at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I've never been to Germany, but you've been there multiple times. Oh, multiple times. Yeah, Berlin, a lot of Frankfurt. Mainz. Anyway, this is, okay, so good for you for the biking. Yeah, I, a lot of Frankfurt. Mines. Anyway, this is, okay, so good for you for the biking.

Yeah, I'm hopeful. Good, there's brighter days ahead. Like, I feel like my glass is half full. Is your glass half empty? That's a good question, Mike. That's a good question. Real talk. It's half full. It's half full.

It's half full. But your jams are half empty. It has to be half full. Right? We have a vaccine around the corner. I'm not concerned about the vaccine. I mean, you say around the corner because, of course, for us, it's around the corner. But the fact that Torontonians have it in their arm already is, to me, it's bonus.

Like, I did not expect that in 2020. Yeah, it's pretty. And this is what I was asking you about before. Like, I talked to a couple of friends of mine who are in the pharmaceutical industry. And the two big things that are different about this vaccine than others and why we shouldn't be concerned about the speed is money and the number of people working on it. That ultimately dictates vaccines getting approved.

And we've had more money pumped into this than anything else in the past. And we've had more science. There was an estimate that something like 10 to 15% of all scientists around the world were working on this. Wow. You know, like that's insane. Well, unprecedented speed for vaccination. Unprecedented number of people working on it. And of course, the number of dollars is just out of this world.

So that's why I'm not worried about the vaccine. Oh, I'm not worried about the vaccine either. In fact, I would push just like in that Seinfeld episode, I would push an old lady out of the way to get this fucking thing in my arm. Get out of here, grandma. Well, that's why I'm saying September, because I imagine that, you know. Well, that's good, because you don't want to get false hopes, and that sounds realistic.

So we'll go back to school. We'll go together. Will you hold my hand? Sure. But you need two. Go back to school and get vaccinated. So don't hold my hand until after the second one. That's right. Okay, thank you.

Here, let me start your fourth jam, and then you run with me to the side door here, and I'll mute our microphones. That's right. Okay. Thank you. Here, let me start your fourth jam and then you run with me to the side door here and I'll mute our microphones. Here we go. I could stay awake Just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away dreaming I could spend my life in this moment forever. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.

Don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I miss you, baby And I don't want to miss a thing Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, baby And I don't want to miss a thing What an awful song, honestly.

Elvis is peeing right now, but when he gets back, we're going to let him know. Terrible song. Oh, here comes the great one. Elvis to tell us why he chose this Diane Warren hit. It's a horrible song.

Yes. It's a horrible song. Oh, you agree. It's Aerosmith's first and only, I believe, number one song, which is crazy to think. Yeah. However, the reason why I picked it

is because it's from a shitty end of the world movie. Oh, Armageddon. Which is kind of like what we're living right now, right? Right. The end of the world as we know it. We can only hope that Bruce Willis is going to sacrifice his life over

Ben Affleck to make sure. Or is that Independence Day? No. No, that's the right one. That's right. They took minors and they taught them how to be astronauts. Do you think they could have taken astronauts and taught them to be minors? What do you think is the best route? Do you mean minors or minors? What am I saying? Minors. Minors or minors?

I can't say woman or woman either. No, no, no. I'm not making fun of how you're saying it, but do you mean minors or minors? M am I saying? Minors. Minors or minors? I can't say woman or woman either. No, no, no. I'm not making fun of how you're saying it, but do you mean minors or minors? M-I-N-E-R-S. Oh, okay. So not minors. M-I-N-O-R-S. No, minors. Right.

My apologies. It's my East Coast accent I have here. It's a Louis C.K. bit about minors and minors. Is he canceled? Because he's a funny motherfucker. I've been watching his show by... I don't think he did himself any favors. Tignotero.

You know this name, Tignotero? No, I don't. She's a very funny comedian. And she had a show called One Mississippi, which I watched. And I saw it was executive produced by Louis C.K. Great show, honestly. I think it's on Prime, but it's a great show. Tignotero, very good.

But I was wondering, like, oh, it's too bad he got cancelled because a lot of things I like were Louis was involved in. Like, he was a very talented funny guy. He is. But yeah, it's kind of weird to laugh at him now. Or laugh with him, I guess. But the show's great. Tignotaro. I don't know

what you're talking about, but okay. So anyway, yeah, like, hey, we all need a you know, favorite Christmas movie? Die Hard. It's another reason why I picked this song. It's not a Christmas movie, though. It is. Takes place at Christmas. Christmas party. That doesn't make it a Christmas movie. It's a Christmas movie. I can't believe you would say that. You're crazy. I'm surprised

that you guys are like flat earthers, you guys, and you're, because, yeah, it does take place at Christmas. I'm not a flat earther. But I've seen it many, oh, I know. You're like flat earthers. I didn't say you are a flat earther. I'm contrar it many times. I know. You're like flat earthers. I didn't say you are a flat earther. I'm contrarian as it relates to Christmas. That would be quite the reveal if we find out you're a flat earther. Could you imagine? Like, why aren't my shoes, like flat earth, clearly the earth is not flat because my shoes aren't rounded.

Humble and Fred got a spammy, I got the same one for Toronto Mike, but I guess some flat earther sent an email to everyone who has a show. Can I come on your show or whatever? And from Howard, I got it for Toronto Mic, and then Humble and Fred got it for Humble and Fred Radio, and Howard flipped to me and said, book this guy. This will be great. This is just a guy who thinks the earth is flat. Can you imagine a more annoying interview? That would be horrible.

What are you going to do for 20 minutes? You make fun of the guy. I know, but okay. It wouldn't be a great interview. It doesn't sound fun to me. The other reason why I picked this song was because, yet again, I get to play horrible music on your show. It really is a bad song. It doesn't sound fun to me. The other reason why I picked this song was because yet again I get to play horrible music on your show.

It really is a bad song. I can't wait to find out how quickly Facebook shuts this down. Like, holy fuck, they just went pee during Aerosmith's

I Don't Want to Miss a Thing and they just played it without even talking over it. That's why they shut it down because we went pee during the greatest song ever. Well, the algorithm is going to have kittens.

Like, I can't wait to find out how quickly this disappears from our on-demand video. This is all part of the experience. But heck, it's a podcast, right? Right. So good choice, because it's Armageddon. Yeah, I get it now. It's very clever. Now, I want to give some props.

Now, I gave you the pasta and I gave you the beer. Yes. You're the first guest to receive a brand new giveaway that I give all guests who come to the Toronto Mic Outdoor Studio here. That's courtesy of Ridley Funeral Home. Pay tribute without paying a fortune. RidleyFuneralHome.com. Is that their line?

Or did you just make that up? No, I've been using that line. That's good. Pay tribute without paying a fortune. Funeral homes are expensive. It's expensive. And having gone through one recently in my immediate family

doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Right. But if you are going to pay some money, seems like Ridley Funeral Home would be the place to go. Talk to Brad Jones. He's a good man, pillar of the community.

But what it is, what is that? Do we know who Ridley was? He's like, I guess this Brad Jones, who's the guy there now who owns it he raised six kids in that uh funeral home like this is that he would live in a funeral yeah you should they actually live in it yeah you're not joking i'm not joking you could in fact if you're going to kipling which you're not but if you were going to kipling you'd pass it like it's between islington and kipling on

lakeshore on the north side. I normally come in that way. I would normally stop at... It's an institution here. I would normally stop off at Starbucks on the way here. Oh, at Evans and Kipling? I didn't want to go in. Well, what is it again? We haven't told people. Sanitizer.

It's hand sanitizer. It kills 99.9% of germs. Without water. And it tastes awesome. It% of germs. Right. Without water. Right. And it tastes awesome. It's really good. But that's exciting that now I can give beer, I can give lasagna, and I can give hand sanitizers. Excuse me. I've been waiting to run out of hand sanitizer in my car, so I'll keep it in there.

That's lovely. What do you think of this jam right here? Be honest. I'll let you figure out what it is first. Sounds Canadian. Is it ringing a bell? It is Canadian. How does it sound Canadian though?

I knew it was Canadian. Okay, The Watchmen. The drummer for The Watchmen is Sammy Cohn. Did you know you can trade? This is amazing. You might take us up on the offer here. You can trade a real estate inquiry of Sammy Cohn for a free drum lesson from The Watchmen's drummer.

Okay, if you go to drummingupresults.com, you can reach out to Sammy Cohn. Cohn is K-O-H-N, by the way. And you can ask him a real estate question, and he'll give you a drum lesson. I'm serious. Drummingupresults.com. Hold on.

Yes? I ask him a question, he gives me an answer. And he gives me a drumming lesson? Correct-a-mundo. How is that possible? Hey, he's a madman. What can I say? No kidding.

About a year ago, I saw them at the Danforth Music Hall. What a great night that was. But what a great Canadian band and he's a great fucking real estate agent. The last concert I went to, I think, was Sloan with you. Wait. Because I was with my brother Steve. It was a year ago. Was this two Sloan shows?

Probably two years ago. Okay, because my last show was Sloan about one year ago. So I haven't gone to concerts a lot recently. I think Sloan was the first time in a hundred years that I went to a show. And then I had tickets this summer to go see Barenaked Ladies at the Forum. It's called the Budweiser Stage. Yeah, whatever. It's not even the same thing as a forum.

At least call it, if you're going to call it the Molson Amphitheater. The Molson Amphitheater. The Molson Amphitheater. I know you're anti-corporate. Right. Yeah, I'm anti-corporate. Yeah, and of course that didn't happen. No, nothing happened. And then I also had tickets. So twice I had tickets to go see Earth, Wind & Fire in Las Vegas.

Yeah. Wow, that sounds bananas. Yeah. And of course I couldn't go to that either. Well, you know what? I think as Monica likes to remind me, she's like, now we know why the roaring 20s was so fucking crazy. It's because they came off that 1918 pandemic.

And then they all went nuts. But were they really roaring? Yeah. They were? Flappers and shit. And speakeasies. Like, they were wild. I'm telling you.

We're going to have a good, at least a good solid decade of growth. It's going to be amazing. Just hang in there, fuckers. My first business trip will be two weeks long because I'm going to have to book a day off after every first day in the office because it's just going to be a party that night.

That first day in the office, go out after work, and it's just going to be... I don't have an office to go to, Elvis. I'm going to miss out on all that. So Sammy Cohen, thanks for your support. And before the music runs out, Barb Paluskowicz, I actually chatted with her this morning.

If you're responsible for a network, a computer network, you should consider outsourcing your IT to CDM Technologies. Chat up Barb. They'll do an assessment, like a network assessment. She's barb at cdntechnologies.com. And she's going to pop in tomorrow.

Again, it's an open Zoom. If you want the Zoom link to pop into the Pandemic Friday episode tomorrow at 11 a.m., DM me or write me an email, mike toronto mike.com i'll send you the link barb's gonna pop in and say merry christmas and happy holidays to everybody what time should i pop in i don't know anytime between 11 and 1 p.m like uh i'm just gonna we're gonna keep me in the waiting room i'll see you there and i'll i mean you're elvis i'll bring you over right away but uh right you know like it'll just be like it's gonna be what i would have done normally at like a great lakes brewery or a palm of pasta oh right yes i can't do that right although you know

we had a tmlx during the pandemic uh you did one yeah i didn't go no you did not go but it was right after like doug ford said you could only have 25 people meeting in the right in outdoors and we had 24 people at this thing and it was at uh marie curtis park it was exciting i was excited and we also snuck uh we drank uh park beers oh my goodness very exciting we are crazy we are crazy okay let's kick out a more optimistic jam from yours truly uh here we go so we're doing two in a row from you. No, you did Aerosmith. That didn't count. Oh, that one.

That was an ad. That was an ad. Gotcha, gotcha. I don't know if the rest of Watchmen know I'm using it as a Sammy Cohen real estate ad, but don't tell Daddy Greaves. This is another uplifting song, Mike. I'm feeling optimistic, Elvis. You and I are on different planes

here. I love this song. I think this is the greatest Florence and the Machine song. And I still like it. Let Florence go a little here. She kills it with kisses and from it she fled With every bubble she sank with a drink And washed it away down the kitchen sink The dog days are over

The dog days are done The horses are coming So you better run Run fast for your mother Run fast for your father Run for your children For your sisters and brothers Leave all your loving, your longing dog days aren't over yet,

but one day soon we'll be singing this song together. The dog days are over. You got to figure it's, yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be over soon. Look, I just have to drop the name Toronto Mike. I go front of the line on this fucking vaccine. They'll be like, get over here, buddy. You're an essential service. I would love a video of that.

People were mad because the NHL was going to buy their private stash and give it out. And I was thinking like, no fucking, I want to be able to buy a private stash. Get this in my veins right now. What did you think about that? The fact that they wanted to jump the line? Well, it's problematic because I'd like to think that we'll have a better system and like rich people first and then poor people second. Like I don't, I've never been comfortable with this whole like tier of like

buying your way to the front of the line. Canada is better than that. I like to think of as is a little more social uh socialized here so i don't like it i think we should have a smart like priority sequence man like it should be like i like the idea of like long-term care residents getting it frontline workers getting it i like that idea go get those people done right away and then i like like people like from age down like obviously this affects a 90 year old differently than it affects a sure 49 year old and a 29 year old so like start doing it like in blocks like say okay like maybe you can have an exception for like underlying uh health conditions but like everyone over 85 goes first and then

everyone over 75 and then everyone over 65 and eventually they get to over 45. And I get on my bike and I bike over and I stick out my arm and I say, give it to me. What do you think? Yeah, I think that makes sense. But I also think that there's exceptions within that. But yeah, I mean, ultimately, that's how you think it would go. Right. The exceptions will be all those people who go down to the States

and pay money for it in Florida or something like that. But, I mean, here, I don't like the idea of rich people jumping the line. Yeah, I mean, if we make the decision. And you're a rich person. Yeah, right. It'll be interesting to see what the decision is made about the Leafs and the Senators playing. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Because that's still up in the air, right? And the Canucks, too, because they're, it seems like she's a little stricter than our guy. Our guy is incompetent, by the way. He really is. If you make the decision that the NHL is important, and you can argue whether or not that's the case, but if you make the decision,

then shouldn't you also say all the people affiliated with that get the vaccine? You mean like the guy who runs the Twitter account or the gal who runs the Instagram? But I mean like people who are in the arena on the day of. It opens up a whole can of things. Well, that's why I say like I think there's exceptions.

But it might not be a politically popular decision. Correct. I think here in Canada especially. It's just sports. Like how essential it's a distraction, but you know, I just think we have to like... Yeah, and I think that's where the, I I just think we have to have perspective on things. If the government's going to be consistent, which we know that they're not, you'd think the Leafs and the Senators are not going to play in Ontario. And it seems like a foregone conclusion.

The Canadians are not going to play in Quebec. And Vancouver sounds like they may have to play in Seattle. Interesting. But then they can to play in Seattle. Interesting. But then they can't be in the Canadian division. So then everyone's going to play in Alberta. I mean, yeah, Vancouver would have to play in Alberta too, I guess. But they say that Vancouver

would probably play in the U.S. at some point in time. See, I haven't even heard. I've been unplugged from all this shit. Let me know what they decide. I mean, because the Jays couldn't play here. Correct. And it's a federal government thing, apparently.

But that's a, like, the Jays could play here, I think, if people when teams visited, they quarantined for 14 days before they went to the Dome. Right, which is not... So I think what they're asking for right now is will the Leafs...

I'm not part of the Leafs or the Senators, but the Leafs or the Sens will I'm not part of the Leafs or the Senators but the Leafs or the Senators will bubble from where they live to the arena. So not technically a bubble but two bubbles. Right? So if you're at home you're at home. If you're at the arena

that's okay too. That's part of your home kind of thing. You'll be on the ice with people who are on different bubbles and then by the time you do the math you realize you're sleeping with every That's part of your home kind of thing. Yeah, but you'll be on the ice with people who are on different bubbles. And then by the time you do the math, you realize you're sleeping with every partner your partner slept with. In theory, the other provinces are also bubbling their teams as well. Right. But yeah, it's a Pandora's box.

It's a Pandora's box. There's no, yeah. Just stay home until they get the vaccine at this point. Well, here, except for your exercise, I like getting out there for bike rides. Sure, sure. And I like this. We're 10 feet apart right now.

Is that what we are? Yeah. Kevin Frank has brought a measuring stick. I don't know. It's more than the health people say you need to be apart. But we're outdoors, which is important. We don't even have any fake tent walls. The Toronto health guy?

Yeah. Oh, Toronto? No, it's a gal. It's Ellen Davila. Who's the dude then? That's David Williams. He needs to retire. Yeah, he's ridiculous.

Worst communicator ever, too. He needs to retire already. Like, dude, you were supposed to retire in the spring, or summer, whatever it was. It's over. It's over. It's over, Johnny. Is this yours or mine?

It's yours. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. He brought us pain and misery He killed our tribes, he killed our creed He took our game for his own need We fought him hard, we fought him well Out on the plains, we gave him hell But many came, too much for three Oh, will we ever be set free? So first, Mike, love this band, but I can't believe that they were heavy metal back in the day.

Like these guys were untouchable. When I was in high school, it was like, oh, my God, you like Iron Maiden? Oh, my God, these guys are so crazy. But, okay, then, isn't this what we all want to do? Just run for the fucking hills? Run to the fucking hills. Get me out of here. Right.

to do just run for the fucking hills to the fucking hills get me out of here like right let me sell my house here and go buy like a you know 500 acre plot of land in montana for a tenth of the price and i'll just live in my bunker there for the rest of my life there's there's a yeah i could see that and i often serious i'm very serious when i say this too if i were at a different point in my life, like right now I have four children. If I didn't have kids in school, I'd be out of here. Honestly, I would be, but I I'd like Wi-Fi if possible. Sure. But if I had Wi-Fi, I feel like I would be very comfortable, even like living

on a boat or something. Yeah. I've been famous for living on a boat. If I didn't have kids in school, like if they were all past grade 12, I wouldn't be here anymore. Yeah, I've had similar fantasies lately that these are like big anchors keeping me grounded here. I would love, like, I mean, in a perfect world, I'm living in the city. Like, I'm living downtown.

Like, that's where I want to live. I want to live in like... Liberty Village for you, not downtown. No, not Liberty Village. Oh, I thought you wanted to be close to being home. No, no, no, no. Like, Young and Dundas. Okay.

Young and, or Bloor. But don't you want to, yeah, don't you want to be closer to the water? Like that little new stuff going at One Young Street? You want to live there? Or is that, okay. Just trying to sell you some real estate. So I'm down, yeah, exactly. So I'm downtown in a perfect world.

Right. However, that world now is different. Right. And that world now for me is I'm in some remote area where I have, you're right, I have high speed

fucking internet. Right. And I just live there. That's it. Because I love going to the movies, man. I would go to the movies multiple times a month.

Wow. I'm not going back. Why would I go back? Never? What if everyone... Well, I mean, at some point, sure, but you know,

in the next two, three years? Wow. My subwoofer the next two, three years? Wow. My subwoofer broke probably two, three years ago, and I've never replaced it. Guess who's replacing it now? Me. Wow. Because I'm going to be watching most of the new movies in my house. Wonder Woman 1984? In my

house. Right. I need a subwoofer for that. Wow. I'm not going to the theater for that shit. Black Widow. I'm watching that in my house. Guardians of the Galaxy 3. I'm watching that in my house. Okay, so when your kids go off to university or graduate high school or whatever. Yeah, they're not going off to university or

whatever. No, but at some point when they go somewhere or whatever. Yeah, yeah. They can go live their lives the way they want to live. Does your wife know about your plan that you want to leave the comforts of northern Oshawa? Whether she knows about it or not is irrelevant. Maybe she'll listen to this.

I'm in my bunker by myself, baby. Wow. That's it. Okay. Yeah, no, listen. I mean, what are we going to do? I mean, there's no point in living in a downtown core

at this point in time, right? Well, yeah, but you're very short-sighted. At some point, there will be concerts again, and there will be TFC matches again, and there will be Leaf games and Raptor games, and things will happen in the city, and you'll be off in your bunker, and you'll be like, oh, I'd like to see the TFC play live.

Yeah, but at that point in time, I will have hung myself, so it's all irrelevant. Oh. On that note, you want a more uplifting jam to talk you out of that? You ready? Want a mind? No, you're done. You're done, actually. So, to recap, Elvis kicked out Zombie, Highway to Hell,

Symphony of Destruction, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, and Run to the Hills. Yes. Okay, I've kicked out A Lovely Day, Ooh Child, Always Look on the bright side of life. The dog days are over. And this jam, which I think nicely encapsulates.

Oh, dear. Total opposite. As soon as you saw my list, you just went way opposite. Yeah, well, I was already, mine went first. I picked my five jams before I got your list. Did you? Yeah. For real?

100%. Yeah. Oh, yeah, 100%. Because I was feeling very optimistic and I wanted hope and I wanted to give people hope. Because you're making people slit their wrists. Can we do a little inside baseball here? Of course. You proposed the subject of our jams

which was to be like positive. Right. I wanted us to kick out hopeful jams, which was to be like, you know, positive. Right. I wanted us to kick out hopeful jams for 2021. Right. And then I jokingly said, I think I used symphony as instruction of,

as an example, didn't I? Or something like that. And I thought you were joking. Right. And then I gave you, I gave you my list and then you responded back. You're like, okay,

remind me we're doing like yin and yang. Yeah. I thought maybe I misunderstood the rules. Like, and then I get it. Then I realized, oh yeah. We're doing yin and yang. We doing like yin and yang. Yeah, I thought maybe I misunderstood the rules. And then I get it. Then I realized, oh, yeah. We're doing yin and yang. We're doing yin and yang.

That was right. That is some inside baseball. I love it. I love inside baseball. But I'm like, I just want to make sure I understood the rules. Because these were the opposite of what I was doing. I played along with the subject every other time. Do you know this version and this song? Do you know what we're listening to?

I've heard it. Do you remember at, did you know this version and this song? Do you know what we're listening to? I've heard it. Do you remember at all where you heard it? It's okay if you don't. I'll tell you where I heard it. No, I don't. I don't. I was, I used to watch ER. Do you remember the show ER? Oh, Jesus. This was a long time ago. Do you know Grey's Anatomy is still on TV? I do know that. 18 seasons.

I do know that. So I used to watch ER back when ER was Grey's Anatomy. With George Clooney and Goose. Correct. Correct. So this is the episode where Goose dies. Spoiler alert. Again.

I've never seen Tom Top Gun. So I don't even know. Now I have a spoiler. That's one thing about 2020. So three things about movies that I'm disappointed about 2020. One is we didn't get to see Top Gun. It was supposed to come out. Oh, the sequel?

It was supposed to come out in the fall. And then because of the filming delays, we were supposed to get John Wick 4 and Matrix 4 released on the same day. Oh, lots of Keanu there. In May. Wow. He's got ties to Toronto, by the way. Keanu Reeves used to live here for a while. He's a Vancouver boy though, right? I thought heanu Reeves used to live here for a while. He's a Vancouver boy, though, right?

I thought he was like, well, maybe. I don't know. He lived here for a while as a teenager. That's all I know. I don't know. He might be from like Hawaii or something. I don't know. He's Canadian, though.

He's got the Canadian ties, but I'm not sure if he's Canadian. I think he was born here. I mean, I claim him. I'm not sure. No, he was American, right? No. No. Born in Beirut. Beirut. Beirut. claim him. I'm not sure. We claim him. He's American, right? Nope. Nope. Born in Beirut. Beirut. Okay.

But his nationality, according to Wikipedia, is Canadian. I know he spent time in Toronto. So shout out to Keanu Reeves who I like to think he might be an FOTM listening right now. Okay. Hold on. His mother is English from Essex. His father is from Hawaii. That's where Keanu comes from.

Chinese, English, Irish, and Portuguese. His grandmother is Chinese Hawaiian. Wow. And he, uh, ooh. His father abandoned him and his family when he was three. Then his parents, when his parents divorced, his mother moved to Sydney, then New York. Then in 1971, 70, they moved to Toronto. There you go.

They divorced in 1971. So he would have been six when he was here. Wow. There you go. Okay. So, and I can't say this guy's name. I'll try it. Israel.

But he was here for a long time. Yeah, he's definitely got good Toronto ties here. But Israel Kamakawiwola. I fucked that up terribly. But he is like a Hawaiian. He's also Hawaiian. And he put like Somewhere Over the Rainbow and he kind of combined it with What a Wonderful World

that Louis Armstrong recorded. Right. And he merged them in this nice ukulele thing. And I heard it for the first time, the episode where Mark Green, that is your, that's the guy from Red to the Nerds. Oh, right.

But that's your guy. What's that character he plays on Top Gun, which I've never seen? Goose. Goose, okay. So he dies. Is that his name? I don't even know his real name.

His name is Mark Green? No, Mark Green's his character's name. But I watched this, I loved it. And I loved his character so much, I actually stopped watching after this. This is the last episode of ER I ever watched. And Mark Green dies, and this song plays,

and I loved it. It's very uplifting, and I feel like better days are ahead for us, Elvis. We've got to hang in there. Anthony Edwards. Anthony Edwards. At Goose. Goose.

And he's in Revenge of the Nerds. His son is in Top Gun 2. Oh, shit. What's his name? Sorry, I know you're playing the fucking music. It's okay. I can bring it down and he's fine. That's okay.

Sam Edwards. I have no idea what his name is, actually. No, like his name is Goose in the movie. Hold on. Hold on. Sorry. Take your time. It's okay.

Sorry. It's okay. Take your time. Miles Teller is his son in the reboot. He was in the jazz movie with Schillinger from Oz.

His son's call name is Rooster. It's fantastic. Okay, I gotta see Top Gun 1. Dude, Top Gun is so great. It's the first French kiss I ever saw in my life. I have to see it. I have to see it. There's a lot of good movies I haven't seen. It's great. Did you hear about Tom Cruise yelling at people for not being...

Yeah, I feel it was staged. I feel it was staged. You think? That's my feeling. I'm a cynical. You're critical. You're cynical. Not critical.

I'm cynical. I feel like it was staged, but I don't have evidence of that. Elvis, how was your return to the TMDS studios? I will be back anytime you want me back. I almost call this a pandemic Friday, but this is actually... Probably won't be back until the weather gets nicer because I won't go inside

your house other than to pee. No offense. I haven't recorded down there since March 13th. Really? Yeah, that's a fact. So March 13th, I had a recording down there.

Oh, so... Pepsi was over and David Ryder from the Toronto Star and then it all... School let out and then we all went home. Right, because the pictures

I see are of you downstairs but no guests. Yeah, I'm down there every day. Dude, I'll be back anytime you want me to be. Fine.

You know, I love your podcast. I love it. Come over tomorrow. I love it. We'll do Pandemic Riding If you've listened to this entire podcast,

listen again. But you should listen to some Toronto Mike. There's some great episodes you've missed out on. Thank you for not going through them this time. I know.

There's too many. It would have taken an hour. You have been prolific. Even Brent Butt. Great handle, by the way. Is that his real name?

Yeah. I asked him that question. I said, is that your real name? And he says, yes, it's his real name. How do you get the

butt as a last name? It's popular in Saskatchewan, you said. There's a bunch of butts. Yeah. I asked him

straight out. I don't know if anyone asked him that. I said, is that a stage name? He's a comic, right? Is that a stage

name? He said, that's his real name. He swears that's his real name. Brent Butt. Because Louis C.K., do we know what his that a stage? He's a comic, right? Is that a stage name? He says that's his real name. He swears that's his real name. Brent Butt. Because Louis C.K., do we know what his real name is? It's a Mexican name, right? C.K.? Like some kind of a Hispanic name because he's Mexican? Yeah. I forgot about that.

Hold on. Hold on. Never forget. No, it's not Mexican in any way. It's Louis C.K. That Sezkely. That sounds Mexican to me. S-Z-E with an accent. K-E-L-Y.

Yeah, I don't know. Peace and love to you, Elvis. Peace and love, Mike. Happy Festivus. Enjoy the beer. Happy Festivus. I love you, man. And that brings us to the... Oh, he's taking off his headphones. He's walked out of here, folks. And that brings us to the... Oh, he's taking off his headphones. He's walked out of here, folks.

And that brings us to the end of our 776th show. You can follow me on Twitter. I'm at Toronto Mike. Elvis is not on Twitter, so you won't find him there, no matter how hard you search. Great Lakes Brewery is at Great Lakes Beer. Palma Pasta is at Palma Pasta.

Sticker U is at Sticker U. CDN Technologies are at CDN Technologies. Sammy Cohn is at Sammy Cohn, K-O-H-N. And Ridley Funeral Home, they're at Ridley F-H. See you tomorrow where everyone is invited to crash our Pandemic Friday Zoom where it's me, Stu Stone, and Cam Gordon. We're kicking out holiday jams. See you then.

Everything is coming up. Ropey and Grave. kicking out holiday jams. See you then. This podcast has been produced by TMDS and accelerated by Roam Phone. Roam Phone brings you the most reliable virtual phone service to run your business and protect your home number from unwanted calls. Visit RomePhone.ca to get started.