Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Gare Joyce KOTJ: Toronto Mike'd #301

Episode Date: January 17, 2018

Mike and Gare Joyce chat about his career as a sportswriter, novelist and stand-up comic before they play and discuss his ten favourite songs.

And right now, right now, right now it's time to... Take out the jams, motherfuckers! I'm in Toronto where you wanna get the city love I'm from Toronto where you wanna get the city love I'm a Toronto Mike, you wanna get the city love My city love me back, for my city love Welcome to episode 301 of Toronto Miked, a weekly podcast about anything and everything, proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, a fiercely independent craft brewery

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Download the app today from paytm.ca. I'm Mike from torontomike.com and joining me this week to kick out the jams is sports writer and mystery novelist and stand-up comic? All of it. Gare Joyce. Welcome, Gare. Thanks for having me. Is Gare, like, is Gare, like, Mike, is, like, to be specific, is Gare to Gary as Mike is to Michael?

Oh, that's an awful question. Get used to it, man. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, it's been 30 plus years. But actually, when I started out in the business, I actually first week at journalism school, I signed in Gary Joyce and everyone was saying to me, all the faculty, what relation are you to Gary Joyce? And there's a Gary Dwyer Joyce who worked at W5 in the fifth estate. Okay. And he had my name. And you know what, if it was John Smith, it would be one thing,

but Gary Joyce was just way too, uh, too close. And so, uh, there's also a Greg Joyce in the business. And I would still get mail for Gary Dwyer Joyce when I was at CTV forever. We've never met. We're actually Facebook friends. And yeah, I don't think he's ever been mistaken for me. I've been... Well, you know, I kind of like Gare,

but when I saw the name Gare, it can't be Gare, it's got to be a Gary. That's my thought. Yeah, I bluff it. I give a different answer to the question all the time. Short for Gareth. I was going to say, as long as I get the truth on this show.

I've had it mispronounced too. I've been called Gur and show. I've had it mispronounced, too. I've been called grr and jar. Oh, jar. Yeah. My daughters lap that up. That's funny. Whiskey in the jar. Okay.

Since I last recorded, Dolores O'Riordan passed away. And I'm looking at you. I'm a bit younger than you. So the 90s, that was my decade for music. Well, I saw the Cranberries. Where did you see the Cranberries? At Molson Amphitheater. Were they good?

Oh, they were amazing. Yeah, huge fan. Actually, our office party, I won the karaoke contest with Zombie. I mean, I don't have to look at the words for zombie that jam like and you know today's all about jams but uh like i'm playing ode to my family because it's kind of got a it's a sweeter tune if you will but zombie that's that's the definitive cranberries track i would say like that's just a heavy mofo of a tune. Yeah. Well, and I mean, we've got an Irish theme here, right? Like between Joyce and O'Riordan.

That's right. Yeah. She was an amazing, amazing singer. I was trying to rank them. I saw Roy Orbison. I've seen Al Green. And like Dolores O'Riordan would just be in that group. Wow.

Okay. No, I got the right guy for this one. And she had ties to Ontario because she married a Canadian, I guess, and they lived near Peterborough.

Yes. I don't know if they were still married at the end. No, I don't think so actually. But I think they separated.

But yeah, that's just I was thinking of all my 90s bands like just somebody protect Eddie Vedder because a lot of the thinking of all my 90s bands like uh just somebody protect eddie vetter because a lot of the lead singers in my 90 band like a lot of them are gone yeah just even this last year we lost a bunch but uh if you're shopping around youtube at all uh there are a couple of great versions uh that uh the cranberries did of go your own way by uh by fleetwood mac by lindsey like amazing performances one one in a studio setting and another in uh in concert in paris

just amazing stuff and i remember the uh their song dreams showed up in like every second movie trailer for a while in the 90s like that was was like, even now when I hear Dreams come on, I'm like, I feel like I'm going to get a montage of some kind of a trailer for some movie or whatever. It's crazy how they walked away, really. You know, they were as big as anybody for a couple of years in the 90s and really just sort of stopped. The last track I remember hearing a lot on the radio was Salvation.

I remember Salvation came out a couple of years after their apex, if you will, and Salvation was a cool tune. I'm like, oh, they're back or whatever. But you're right, I didn't hear much after that. You're right, it was like a comet. They burned very bright for a very short period of time. Yeah, and I think it was more her doing than anybody's, that she just went into some sort of semi-retirement

and retreated into family. And, yeah, it's a sad and completely unexpected turn, that's for sure. 46 years old, it's, yeah, terrible, terrible. Now, let's start. I got kind of a structure here because you're a guy who does a lot of cool stuff, but I don't think there's a high name recognition, Gary Joyce.

That's not at all meant to be negative. No. I want listeners to get to know you. Can we start with Sportsnet? You're currently writing for Sportsnet. Yes, I am.

So tell me, because I know, for example, you recently spent some chilly days in Buffalo at the World Juniors. That was, yeah, that was about the seventh coldest World Junior I've been at. For whatever reason, the one event that I always get tagged with is the coldest one on the calendar. But no, it was bitter cold.

And honestly, really good hockey in the final. A couple other games were just outstanding. And maybe the semis weren't anything, any great help. Yeah, the finals kind of saved things, if you will. But there was World Juniors. I felt like there was no parody. I love the World Juniors. I watched every game I could.

But I had to turn off the Denmark game. And I had the Swiss game, too. Yeah. And, like, yeah, like, it's just... It's a very top-heavy tournament. Suffice it to say. But it's still better than women a very top heavy tournament let's suffice it to say but it's still better than women's international hockey right like that's a two two horse race that's a two horse race yes it's uh yeah you could play that like the ashes and cricket or something like that

that's right so tell me about what tell me what you do for Sportsnet. Do they just assign you to events, or how does it work? I've been on staff at Sportsnet since 2011. I had written occasionally for them, more than occasionally, about junior hockey prior to that for three years and a bit. Mostly feature writing, although I do some sort of coaching with writers. It was editing in the beginning, but I think that that was sort of not time efficient.

And yeah, now they want me to do some more direct coaching with individual writers. But prior to Sportsnet, I was at ESPN, the magazine, and ESPN.com for eight or nine years, which might be one of the reasons that there's not such great recognition of my name in the market and that I was doing stuff for a US outfit. Prior to that, I was at the Ottawa Citizen for five years. And prior to that, I was at the Globe and Mail as a hockey columnist back in the 90s. You won three Canadian National Magazine Awards. Four.

Four. I have to update my record. First of all, is that a good thing? This is a good thing, right? These are prestigious awards in the magazine community? Yeah. Well, they were a lot more prestigious when there were a lot more magazines. Right, of course. That's for sure. But yeah, I won four and I was a finalist 22 times in every category.

The last one that I won was not for sports. It was for a profile of Michael Ignachev, of all things. Oh, interesting. Maybe you could classify him as a tennis player or something like that. Or maybe like an America's Cup guy or whatever. I picture him on a yacht. He does sort of give you that vibe. He does sort of give you that vibe.

But, yeah, I was nominated for awards in science and arts and entertainment and personal journalism, like you name it, politics. By the way, you sound good. Like I'm hearing you for the first time. You should get more time on 590. Who should I talk to? Yeah, you can. Do you have any interest in that? Oh, absolutely. I mean, I enjoy doing radio.

I think, and we'll talk about the stand-up thing later on, I sort of dove into doing stand-up, I think, to sort of raise my game as far as broadcast goes. And I don't know if it's worked or not. Well, let's see how this goes. Maybe I'll make a few calls for you. There you go. Where are these, like the physical award, where do you keep the Canadian National Magazine Awards that you've won?

I didn't keep them. Honestly, I don't have them anymore. I gave the first three to my parents. I didn't even pick up the fourth one. Like I didn't go to the awards ceremony or anything. Do they make you buy these awards? Because I heard some awards, you win the awards,

but to actually get a physical award, you've got to buy it. That's not one of these. No, they give you a certificate suitable for framing. And honestly, I gave the first three to my parents and never reclaimed them. And the fourth one, I didn't go to the ceremony and I just cashed the check.

There's a check too? Oh yeah. No, no. Well, that's the real award then. Yes, it is. You can't pay the mortgage with trophies. No. I'm playing some Mothahupu here.

Okay, because how's this? This is all the young dudes. We're kicking out the jams today. You wrote a book. I'm looking at it right now. And you'll sign this for me? You brought me. Hold on here. I love these young Leafs, by the way.

This book is called Young Leafs, The Making of a New Hockey History. And you brought me three copies, which is amazing, because my 16-year-old, he is passionately in love with the Young Leafs. All good. It's all coming together here uh so tell me about uh and who is it it was steven brunt who told me that if you want to sell a book in canada write about hockey and have it out for christmas i think this is what he said absolutely is that true that is the god's honest truth That is absolutely 100% right on.

Because a lot of people have to buy a gift for their dad, right? Yeah. I think in December this year, of the 10 top selling Canadian non-fiction titles, five were about hockey. I'm surprised it was only five. There were probably more, but they just wanted to keep up appearances.

What a country we live in, Gare. That's it. I love it. I almost put Mott the Hoople on my list, by the way. I saw Mott the Hoople in concert. Was it going to be this song? There's a couple. Honestly, this is the truth.

I actually can only name one song by this band. Should I be embarrassed by that? Oh, my God. Because I think you're going to put me to shame today. And I'm going to be brutally honest throughout this episode when I never heard of something or whatever. But how many Mothahupal songs should a music-loving guy my age know? Like, what am I missing? Is there like that one song that I love when i hear it but i had

no idea it was motha hoopoe well all the way to memphis right like all the way to memphis is an amazing song it was in oh god um alice doesn't live here anymore uh yeah this is a bowie song right like bowie wrote this or, I actually have a version of this with the backing track in Bowie singing. Although Ian Hunter comes in on the chorus. But yeah, it might be my preferred version of it. That was actually the version I was thinking of putting on the list. Now I have to ask you the big question of the day is, why didn't you name the book All the Young Dudes? Why is it called Young Leafs? Come on, Gary, you missed the obvious.

This is the publisher's call. The publisher picked the title. Simon & Schuster did a great job for me. And that was their call. I was scrambling with titles and they said, this was our working title and we're going with it. It's short but sweet and it's got leafs in there. That's all it needs. You mentioned stand-up. Okay, so where do I begin here? You're on the show because recently David Schultz came on to kick out the Jams. David Schultz has been... I was with him last night, as a matter of fact.

Were you standing up? Last night, yes. Last night, I was hosting a show that my friend Megan Fallenbach, an actress here in town, she and I are hosting, staging

a show the third Tuesday of every month at Social Capital Theatre. And it's a storytelling show. And so last night we had five comics and actors or actresses get up and do a longer story set. longer story set. I did mine about going to Upper Canada College and sort of plotting to knock over Upper Canada College and walk off with their group of seven paintings. It was a heist that I didn't follow through on. And Schultz performed too? Schultz got there late. He's going to be in a future one. Okay, cool. So is it fair to say you inspired Schultz to try stand-up? You did it first.

I'm the instigator. I should get the extra minor for instigating it. So then we'll go way back. Tell me what got you interested in stand-up when you started and how that's going for you. Okay. and how that's going for you. Okay.

When I was at Ryerson, and I was the world's most dismal student at Ryerson, I worked in the campus pub and I won an amateur stand-up contest. And we had Yuck Yucks Comics come into Ryerson all the time. Ralph Ben-Murgy. He's coming on the show. Yes. He's in Hamilton.

So he was a Yuck Yucks comic at the time and a journalism student. And so he would bring in the comics from Yuck Yucks, including Norm MacDonald and whomever else. And so I won an amateur contest and I got to open for the Yuck Yucks comics. And they were just the most miserable guys that I've ever been around. I thought this is certainly something that I don't want to do. And so I just put it on hold for lo those many years and then in my 50s like at 59 years and 11 months I decided okay like let's go for it and I took a course at Second City and stand up and just started to get out there and it's been it's been two years

and you know how many hundred gigs that I've done. And now just starting to host a show that's a little break away from traditional stand-up comedy, more storytelling, which is, it should be a strength given that I'm paid to tell stories. So, yeah, I would say that it's going to tell stories. So, yeah. I would say that it's going to be a steep learning curve for me as far as performance goes. Certainly, I'm even more wooden than I might sound right now. Did you see the two new Dave Chappelle specials on Netflix by any chance? I saw the first one. I haven't seen the second.

Only because I find he's kind of... That's kind of his style, I find. It's more storytelling now. These new specials by Dave Chappelle are... He tells you stories, and I quite like it. I think he's very good at it, and I quite enjoy it. Yeah, I do think

that there is a place for that. Some storytelling comics don't really do that much for me. Mike Birbiglia, I've seen him live. I've listened to all his stuff. I try and go to school on it. I don't really enjoy it that much. The special that I really liked,

and even though, again, I'm not a fan of his comedy in a big way, is Patton Oswalt's latest, where he does a half hour about the untimely, tragically, tragic death of his wife, and having to tell their daughter that mom's not coming home. Like, I mean, at one level it was so gut wrenching and he somehow managed to break the tension every couple of minutes. And it's, it's hard to say that it was, it was funny, but it was, it was just an amazing bit of theater, way, way, way out there beyond stand-up comedy. And in some ways, just an incredible improvement or enrichment of it. Well, that's real stuff, man. That's the raw, real stuff that I think people want to hear.

It's authenticity. That's a tragic thing that happened to him and he opens up. And I haven't seen this yet. I don't want other people to suffer for my art or anything like that. I don't want anyone taken away from me. But if they're suffering anyway, you might as well make art out of it, right? Something like that. Who are your favorite stand-ups? Oh, I, well, in, in doing straight standup, I want, I could get accused of cribbing, uh, Anthony Jezelnik and, uh, his, his timing and joke structure is that, that is a template

for me. I will, I will own up to that. So, uh, he would be at the very first rank. I like Norm MacDonald's stand-up. Actually, we connected on Twitter and we've gone back and forth

many times. I enjoy his stuff. His last one didn't really do it for me, but maybe I just have to listen to it again or just go to school on it a bit more again. I really enjoyed his memoir of sorts based on a true story.

As long as you take, that it was classified by some as nonfiction is maybe the greatest joke ever. But, um, yeah, I, I, I enjoy all kinds of comics,

great and small. Uh, you know what? The, the, the worst comic is better than the best dentist. So, okay. Well, that explains a lot here.

Now, is David Schultz a funny comic? Oh, my God. Plead the fifth on that. But like you said, he's better than the dentist. He's better than the dentist. Yes. Dave has, what I would say is that Dave has an incredible likability on stage,

and he's got a good character. Our stand-up instructor at Second City, Jim McAleese, said to me the one time, I love Dave's look. He looks like the man on the Monopoly box. Oh yeah, he's a monocle. Can you imagine he started wearing one? That's the only thing that separates him

from the Monopoly man. No, Dave is funny. I begged and pleaded with him not to try and work sports writing or sports into stand-up because it just doesn't work. Like, you cannot make jokes about the Leafs. Like, anyone who's in a comedy club is there because they're not watching the Leafs. Oh, that's in the Venn diagram of, like, the Leafs diehards and the guys in the comedy club. It's two circles side by side. Yeah, two circles in different hemispheres.

Oh, that's funny. I never thought of that. Now, so tell me why. Why did you, because that Second City thing you discussed, that's what David did, right? Yes, he followed me. David did, right? Yes, he followed me. I did it one semester,

and he came out to our show, our grad show at Absolute Comedy, and he basically signed up on the spot and said that he had always wanted to do it. First of all, good for both of you for sort of leaving your comfort zone and for doing this. I think that's pretty cool. I'd like to try something like that.

You know what? I don't consider it way out of my comfort zone writing-wise. Performing, yes. But I think that writing funny is hard stuff in journalism. And God knows a lot of people can't do it. And for better or worse, sometimes I'm funny without trying to be funny in print. And I've had young writers come up to me and ask, how can I write funny? And I'm like, geez, this is one that it's in your DNA or it's in nature or nurture or I'm not really sure, but you can't fake it.

Well, that's what I was going to say. Funny in general, you can't fake funny. You either have a good sense of humor or you don't. This isn't something you can necessarily teach somebody, right? No. I was lucky because my mother was hysterical. She was a great prank puller, and I still use lines without acknowledging them that

she came up with. That's great. By the way, Schultzy kicked out the jams, and his episode was pretty epic. I can tell already by talking to you, I can tell that this is going to be good today too. But I was going to school the stuff I was learning from Schultz in that episode. So no pressure. Well, I'm not didactic. Don't worry about that. Now, I got a sound clip for this. Hold on here.

Okay. This is good. This, speaking of jams, so this is the Hall & Oates song, Private Eyes, covered by Canadian band Deer Rouge. And it is the theme song for a show on Global called Private Eyes. It is. And that stars, I also, by the way, have the 90210 theme loaded up, but I thought I'd go with the Dear Richard. Oh, my God.

Because... Got to tweet Jason Priestley on this. Private Eyes stars Jason Priestley. I watched 90210. Okay, I know Jason Priestley. Good Canadian boy. Now, everybody's like, oh, I've heard of Private Eyes.

I've seen that promo on global whatnot and this series private eyes private eyes this is fascinating i think it's fascinating you wrote a trio of mystery novels but you wrote it as gb joyce not hair joyce so gb joyce and it's about a former nhl player turned scout turned private eye and that became the series private eyes it did so does like do you does that pay like uh that pays okay now we're talking yeah okay okay so there i just have to do one more right i just have to do one more series and i will be kicking back and they're still making private eyes right oh? Oh, yeah, we. You can say we.

You wrote the damn book. Yeah. We start shooting in April or May, and actually next month, early next month, I'm off to New York. The Paley Center, the old museum of broadcasting in New York, The Paley Center, the old museum of broadcasting in New York, is having a night with Jason and Cindy Sampson from Private Eyes.

And just it's marking the series debut on the ION network in the US. But right now we're in 112 international markets. I've seen it with Turkish subtitles and all my friends in Scandinavia have seen it and friends in the UK. It's all over the place. I did an interview with Mauxa, which is sort of the Italian version of People magazine, right? So, like, about Private Eyes. It would be the only reason that anyone would ever want to talk to me. So, even though it's a, like, I don't know how hot, like, it's a former NHL player,

so even in the non-hockey markets, this thing works. Like, turkey can't be a hotbed of hockey activity. Yeah, well, the TV show has less hockey content than the novels. So tell me, though, does somebody just read these books and think it would make a good series? Like, do they just approach you? God, I wish I could tap into that. I honestly have no idea how this all happened. Uh, I,

I was approached by, um, my, my editor, uh, Nick Garrison at, uh, Penguin Random House.

And he asked if I'd ever thought about writing a novel, writing a mystery. And I told him I'd ever thought about writing a novel, writing a mystery. And I told him I had half written, half novels in my drawer. I hadn't really looked at mystery as a genre of interest. And then about two weeks later, he said, you know, give me a sample and we'll see where it goes. And so like two weeks later, I gave him 18,000 words and, and I had a two book deal. And then it just gathered momentum after that. I, I had heard that the book had been optioned. It really didn't, at that earliest stage, it doesn't pay anything. And then I heard that Jason was attached to it.

And like, even then, I was trying to tamp down expectations. Of course, yeah. And yeah, it sort of just all fell into place. And I had little to do with it after writing the books. I was going to say, do they consult you on anything? Or once they cut the check or whatever, once they license it, they just can do what they wish with the source material? Is that pretty much? Yeah, it's pretty much it. I mean, you know, I go on set a few times during the season and you know everyone's been

great the exec producers E1, Lloyd Segan and Sean Piller they've all been very nice to me you know I want to take a crack at writing spec scripts but

yeah I've been working on pitching another series a couple of friends Danny Polishuk and Rochelle Lazon and I have been working on a series proposal and pitch and have written a pilot and we'll see where that goes but I think I think I'm rather than jumping in on private eyes I think I'd rather than jumping in on Private Eyes, I think I'd rather do something new from scratch. Well, good for you, man. I love to hear that suddenly people in Turkey are watching your work.

That's just unbelievable to me. And Priestley. I carved him when he came out to one of my shows, too. He came out to this show. And he has a good sense of humor about it. Oh, he better, right? So, yeah, he came in. And he came into an open mic.

And I hadn't really told... I had told the host that my boss from work was coming in. Can you just hold off bringing me up until my boss comes in? And Jason arrives at the club and the host is like, Jason Priestley is your boss, right? And so he was as cool as hell with everyone in the club, my missus, my niece, my friends from work, all the other comics. He's actually disarming to the degree that he's so cool with people. But I said, hey, everybody here, we have a star in our midst, you know, a legend, you know, a great TV comic actor. Give it up for Kirk Cameron, right?

And then I just laid into him for, you know, Jason Priestley. He's a proud former Canadian. It was just one line after another. And he just took it all in stride. He was great about it. No, I'm glad to hear that. Glad to hear that. Now, since you brought us back to comedy,

I'm glad you did, because I actually have a clip of you at the Ice Cold Comedy Festival. Oh, my God. Now, I can only play a bit, because it's long, before we kick out the show. The laughs are long.

My bits are small. The laughs are long. It was crazy. Well, let's hear a bit of how you sound on stage there and feel free to talk over this sort of like pop a video if you want walked in. One fellow is my favorite sports writer, legit. My favorite sports writer writes for a Roger sports set. He just walked in. He's also penned, there's a list, that's why he's also penned. This is Ryan Denny Kingston comic.

He's written the series The Cold, which is now privatized on CTV with Jason Sturdy. It's on Global, not CTV. He's a college writer. He's a stand-up comedian as well, man. All the way from Toronto here to support the festival. Where was the festival? This was in Kingston last week. Amazing sold-out shows.

Four nights in a row. All kinds of venues. Ryan did a spectacular job staging it. There you go. Great flat opening. One higher, and you get a headliner and a doorman. He is a beast.

It's great to be upwind from Cornwall. A little local humor. Yeah, I was going to say, get the locals on side. Yeah, actually, I love Kingston. My wife has toyed with the idea of moving to Kingston. It's the only way I can get her to use her toys. More filth.

She won't be in love with us. She said it come here later so if we can keep it up from the down low even though she likes it on high honest to god that crowd will laugh

at anything but sometimes you get the reverse right the crowds that won't laugh oh absolutely are there people who were born in the 90s? Are there?

Anyone? 97, 96, anyone? What year were you born? Oh, that's fine. Oh, well, 88. I'm actually 62. 88 was the year I got my first grade of pubic hair. It's a sure winner.

This is a good crowd, man. Oh, is there a wire? That great pubic hairline is killed. I got stuck in my teeth. All right. I just wanted to give everybody at home, it's okay if I fade out? Yeah, absolutely. That's good.

I pride myself on never swearing and working absolutely filthy. Those are my trademarks. You're like, who's the guy from Full House again? Bob Saget. Yeah, Bob Saget. You know, he cleans the whistle until he's on stage. Oh, on stage, it's filth.

He's got a terrible mouth. I make a point of trying never to swear and just be super suggestive. I can't forget that. So speaking of, we talked about Dave Chappelle briefly earlier and he filmed here, he filmed in Toronto,

a half-baked. And Norm's got that line where I guess somebody is in like a narcotics anonymous program because he's addicted to marijuana. And then Bob Saget gets up and says, somebody is in like, like whatever, a Narcotics Anonymous program or whatever, because he's addicted to marijuana. And then Bob Saget gets up and says like, have you ever,

have you ever sucked dick for marijuana? Like, anyways, this is great clip from Saget. That's, that's fantastic. So, okay,

great. I have to, I have to bore you with my one, my one, what my, I don't want to say legendary moment, but do it. i i did have like a watershed moment in stand-up and it came when i went to a show in nashville uh during the playoffs and i couldn't convince anyone any of the hockey beat guys to break away on our night off to go to Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville.

And Colin Jost was playing. And so I was going by myself. I bought a VIP ticket. They sat me right in the front row, right in front of the mic. And they sat me with two girls, one of them, Billy Mallory, had driven up from Florida to see four Colin Joe's shows, the early and late show, two nights in a row. And so the host came out and he was a B minus C plus, which is what a host is supposed to be.

Don't upstage anyone. The middle came out out the featured act and he was a new yorker and i you know i will not disclose his name but he was a disaster he basically tunneled off stage so colin jost was introduced give it up for your headliner here's colin joe's saturday night live and he came out and you know colin joe's he's the waspiest guy in the world and you know ivy league and a little too cool for school and he basically did 20 minutes of weekend update so i thought you know know, it's like, fine,

you're, you're giving the people what they want, but it's not really standup. It's just, you know, you could have been reading off of cue cards 20 minutes in, he came to an absolute dead halt and just got a blank look in his eyes. And he looked off into the horizon and he just,

he said, I have to sit down. Right. And like just came he said, I have to sit down. Right. And like, just came to a complete stop. He sat down on the floor and then he lied down and he said, I have to leave the stage. And he staggered off the stage. Host came out and said, uh, ladies and gentlemen, Colin's been fighting food poisoning all day. Um, you know, I've talked to him.

He's a gamer. He's going to be back out here. You know, he's going to pick up where he left off and it's going to be another great night of comedy at Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville. Anyone celebrating a birthday, an anniversary? Like the host had nothing, right? That is like a semaphore signal for like man down,

right? And so five awful minutes went by, right? And this poor host was literally like backing away from the edge of the stage and the crowd was really unruly and restless. And finally, you know, as a measure of desperation, the host said, does anyone want to get up here and tell a joke? Right. I was like, I just climbed on stage, raised my hand, climbed on stage and broke into material. Right. And so I did, I did my standard opening and then someone yelled, Hey, Steve Bannon. Right.annon right well i mean i've got like a wealth of bannon material because i have this super irish face that that sort of looks like like steve bannon without cirrhosis right so um i just broke it oh you know steve bannon you know how can someone so racist be so ruggedly good looking you Steve Bannon, what a dirtbag.

He gives urinals a burning sensation. Steve Bannon, a hooker gave him crabs. He didn't need to get them treated. They died of natural causes. I just broke into material. I did like two and a half minutes. And then I look and Colin Jost is now standing beside me. It's like, give me my mic back, right?

And so I said, give it up for your headliner. Here's Colin. And as I was walking off the stage, Colin just said, yep, there he goes, the next joke writer for Weekend Update. And yeah, there are people coming up after the show to get selfies, and they're like, you got to do that Bannon thing. It was almost like a ringer in WWE or something, pulling Hillbillyim out of the first

row or something there's two parts this it's got you one is you gotta you gotta be good enough to pull it off you have to have the material ready but so much of this is timing like opportunity like such a what what luck and sorry for calling but what luck for you that this opportunity would arise it's like out of a movie yeah i well. Yeah. I did not tamper with his food backstage or anything like that. I didn't set this up. Someone said, oh, it's a one in a thousand shot. I said, look, I can find a hundred

thousand comics. This never happened to me. Yeah, one in a thousand. Yeah, lower odds than that. What was funny, though, in talking to a few comics, they said that a seasoned comic probably wouldn't get up there, right? I probably didn't appreciate how awkward a situation it was. I just couldn't care. The funny thing is, I had been, and I'm not a nervous Nelly, but performing isn't my wheelhouse, really.

I would get a little nervous before going up on stage. so calm and in control as I was in front of this room with 300 people who had paid 75 bucks US to see Colin Jost. But do you think it's because you knew nobody there knew you? Because that was a room of complete strangers? No, it was because

I didn't know I was going up. I went to that club to take in an act. You couldn't psych yourself out of it because you didn't have any... With no notice. Right. And my material just rolled out.

So after that, it's goofy, but I do feel different on stage after that. It's confidence, my friend. Yeah. Excellent. Everyone's been bored with that story in Toronto. You're the last one to hear it. No, thanks for sharing that.

And let's do a few sponsor mentions, and then let's get to these jams, shall we? So first off, if anybody wants to help crowdfund this project, patreon.com slash Toronto Mike is where you go. Give what you can. Help keep this thing going. You, Gare, have a six-pack in front of you. I do.

That is courtesy of Great Lakes Brewery. I joked with you when you first got here. I said, oh, Great Lakes Beer. At the very beginning, I read this intro, and they changed their script. Last time they changed their script, I stumbled on it for weeks. It was like I couldn't stop saying the old script.

This time, I don't know if you're the good luck charm, I didn't stumble once on their new script, the Great Lakes Beer people. It flowed like a mighty river. Who knows why that was. But enjoy your beer. I will. Take that with you.

Great Lakes Beer, good people. And I was thinking, all last year they did like 30th anniversary stuff because they were turning 30. So now I'm wondering like this year are we going to get hit with some 31 stuff? Come on, let's get a new 31 stuff going. I have a clip for you.

So there's a pint glass there. Okay. That's also yours. Oh, amazing. That is courtesy of Brian Gerstein. I see him there. He is from propertyinthesix.com. Okay.

So he wants you to drink the Great Lakes beer in his pint glass. I will do that. But he also has recorded a special message for you. For me? Yes, Gare. Oh, my God. Listen up. Propertyinthesix.com

Hi, Gare. Brian Gerstein here, sales representative with PSR Brokerage Property in the 6.com for a real estate consultation. All my listings come with a free home inspection, floor plan, photo and video shoot, and lots of marketing, both print and online. Gare, you've written a ton of hockey books and one on horse racing about Northern dancer, king of the racetrack. If you were going to write another sports book outside of hockey, what sport would it be? Oh, I wrote a kid's book about Northern dancer. Oh, is that a kid's book? Yes. And

if you're talking about horse breeding for kids, it's a little awkward. I actually wrote, the first book I ever wrote was a book called The Only Ticket Off the Island, which was about baseball in the Dominican Republic. And that was a great experience, spending a season, a Winter League season in the DR. And it was an absolute disaster as far as publishing went. DR and it was an absolute disaster as far as, as publishing went. Um, yeah, I had publishers, uh, go under, you know, between payments. It was, it was, I, I went, there were four publishers for that book in, in hardcover and paperback between companies folding and getting their back lists, getting bought up. So I, that was 1990. I literally swore off writing books after that.

It was such a mess. But I would love to write another baseball book. My favorite sport growing up was boxing, and I did box a bit as a kid. And I would love to do a boxing book, but boy, there's not a lot of commercial clout in boxing. It was funny. I reconnected with a fellow that I fought back. I was 13.

He was 15, so it wasn't a great fight. And it was particularly not a great fight because he ended up winning the New York State Golden Gloves and actually made the U.S. semifinals in the Golden Gloves. So Ricky Papa, I lost to Ricky Papa. Ricky Papa lost to Terrence Alley as a pro. Ricky was like 11-2 as a pro. And Terrence Alley lost to Julio Cesar Chavez in three other title fights.

So I'm like three degrees from the boxing hall of fame. Although I can lose to a boxer too. Just want to point that out. Well, when I reconnected with Ricky, I said, boy, he goes, do you still love boxing? I said, yeah, I haven't trained or anything like that. He goes, you know, you could really take a punch, right? It's like, that's actually something you don't

want to hear, right? That's my strength is the ability to take a punch. That's right. Gare, let me tell you about Paytm because Paytm has a special until January 31st. They are offering Paytm customers Paytm has a special until January 31st. They are offering Paytm customers 2% cash back for any bill payment,

any amount using any payment method. The maximum cash back per customer will be 20 bucks. But in addition to that, more exciting for me is that you can still get the $10 off your first bill payment if you use the promo code Toronto Mike. So visit paytm.ca, download the app and use promo code Toronto Mike, all one word and 10 bucks is all yours. And you can thank me later. And you can thank me later. A little Pink Floyd leading us into kicking out the jams.

Gare, I have one question for you. Hit me. Are you ready to kick out the jams? Absolutely. Let's do her. Bring her. Ah. bring her and when I see the sign that points one way the lot we used to pass by every day just walk away Renee Walk away, Renee, the left bank.

A one-hit wonder. Pretty ballerina was the B-side of this. But yeah, it's been covered. Four Tops do an amazing cover of this. So just walk away, Renee. I don't know if people have lucky songs, but this was my lucky song. And when I ran track in high school, I had a big race and I heard this song right when I was stepping on the track. right when I was stepping on the track.

And so I won the race, and thereafter, I had to hear Just Walk Away, Renee before the day of the race, at the very least. And so this was my lucky song. There was no Renee in my life or anything like that. But yeah, and it's not a super, it's not a heavy song. I wouldn't want this to be my entrance music. Right, right, right. Going into the Royal Rumble or something like that.

It's a lovely song, if you will. It is. But the Four Tops version rocks out. if you will. It is. But the four-tops version rocks out. And pardon my ignorance, but we get this,

there was a flute solo a moment ago in this song. Like, the four-tops aren't, there's no flute solo in the four-tops version. No, and there's harpsichord in this, right? I mean, how many rock classics have harpsichord in them? I don't know. The flute solo I read was a direct response to the Mamas and the Papas' California Dreamin'. It's what I heard. It was the big influence there.

I could see that. And the left bank, why do they put an E at the end of bank? Are they just trying to mess with us? It was a different time. It was an entirely different time. It's like an old english spelling by a band from right chicago there you go that's right that's right they call it i think faux brit brit rock or whatever they call it uh that that's a great tune and i'm glad you met one hit wonder because

uh you know you again you could you put a gun to my head right now and say name another left bank song and i'd be dead pretty ballerina is, I think you could ask Grail Marcus and he would come back and say Pretty Ballerina, Dave Marsh, whomever. They probably could only name one other song. I'm very excited to play your next jam. Oh, cool. I'll explain why in a moment.

Yeah. Let's hear it. Thank you. Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Fever doll Scratching at my back door I hear you howl I don't listen no more Gotta spit it out Taste of the taste of the

hell of the fever dog come around again know that it will be the end

of the fever dog fever dog still water a fictional band like the

Archies or like the that thing you do the wonders A fictional band. Like the Archies. Or like that thing you do, The Wonders. Right? That's it. So this is from Almost Famous, the Cameron Crowe movie. I don't know if it won. I know it was certainly nominated for Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, but I think it won.

And I picked this because in the 70s, when this movie was set, and it's a largely autobiographical movie written by Cameron Crowe, who in fact was a... He was writing for Rolling Stone when he was 14. I so wanted to be Cameron Crowe. I had... Much more than being a sports writer, I wanted to write about music.

And I collected old Rolling Stones and circus magazines and Cream magazine and all of that. And yeah, I have always been a fan of everything that Cameron Crowe's ever done, whether it's rock journalism, feature writing in Rolling Stone or Jerry Maguire or Almost Famous. I can't get enough. Almost Famous is a pretty perfect movie. Just what a flick. It's great.

You know, and actually, a key player behind the scenes in plotting out their music was Peter Frampton. I was never a big... I've never been a big Peter Frampton fan, but I'm probably most of all a fan of his music in Almost Famous. So that story explains things really nicely,

because I loved Almost Famous. I love the soundtrack. And of course, I knew this song was like invented to be from this fictional band in the 70s and it has that southern rock kind of thing going on it would be too sucky to play tiny dancer as well after after the left bank though yeah you're right but uh somebody has kicked out the song tiny dancer oh my god yeah somebody has uh but the yeah so but i always thought that was a really good track to be like invented as a song from a fictional band in a movie.

Sometimes these songs, if they're not good, it doesn't really work. You have to believe that would be kind of a cool track, and it works. Yeah. The other thing, and someone pointed this out on Facebook the other day, if you take pictures, photos of me from back in the 70s, I look like I was in Stillwater.

I had the 70s hair, the 70s rock star hair down to my shoulders and permed and God knows what. Oh, that's great. That's great. Let's kick out another jam. Cool. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you. Do you remember the moment You finally took to something better When the kick of the drum Line up with the beat in your heart

Stuck in the corn maze With only a transistor radio Thank you. We're the loudest and clearest of the last one And we were called for you A thousand times a day It don't take much To sound like a sleeping prophet When your misery sounds so much like ours So far away, so far away, so far away Teenage Wasteland. Wussy. Wussy is my favorite band.

And they're from Cincinnati. I actually have only seen them once, but I managed to get backstage and give them a box of donuts. And I've, I've been in contact with them a few times when they've sent me demos and rare stuff. They've sent me demos and rare stuff. Wussy should have a legion of fans.

And they're critical darlings. Robert Criscow calls them America's best band, for whatever that's worth. But I love that when the All-Star Game was in Cincinnati, they played, what's he, they played Teenage Wasteland at the Great American Ball Field. So, and this song is a song about a song. It's,issy's Teenage Wasteland.

It's about the Who's Babbo Riley. And it evokes sort of your youth when you were listening to this band. Lisa Walker is the guitarist and singer. And Chuck Cleaver is on the other guitar and I recommend to anybody checking Wussy out and complain to me if you're disappointed. Well, you just introduced me to Wussy and I'll be checking him out. Yeah.

Sounds very cool. And this whole Inception thing, a song about a song. If you this whole inception thing a song about a song if you did a song about a song about a song i think it would break my brain it's you know it's funny let someone ask me like what type of band are they and i was like oh geez i don't know they're they're a noise band but they they also have a pedal steel. They are a multitude within a band. And I guess they're big in Cincinnati? Is it one of those bands where they just haven't broken?

Because I didn't hear about them until it appeared on your list? Oh, no. You know, they have a pretty significant following in the States. They just toured in Europe, in UK anyways. They haven't played Canadian dates. I don't know why. I went down and saw them in Chicago the summer before last.

They're an amazing concert band. If you go online, if you go to YouTube, you can see that there's an old CBS morning show feature about them. And they're just small enough that everyone has a day job. Lisa was waitressing at the time. I don't know if she still is. Lisa was waitressing at the time. I don't know if she still is.

Chuck was running a used goods store, a secondhand store, a teacher in the band, like there is a grade school teacher, as a matter of fact. But yeah, so they are not big time and they haven't sold out. And yeah, they're true to their music. I recommend to anyone sort of mining that there's Wussy and Chuck's old band was the Ass Ponies.

Worth checking out as well. It's a great name for a band right there. Yeah. Let's kick out another jam. Cool. Mama, take this badge off of me I can't use it anymore It's getting dark too dark to see And I feel I'm knocking

on heaven's door Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door. Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door. Knocking on heaven's door, Warren Zevon. I am a huge Zevon. I am a huge Zevon fan.

I am also a huge Dylan fan. I wouldn't say that this is the best or favorite Zevon song, nor my best or favorite Zevon song, nor my best or favorite Zvon album.

But The Wind was what Zvon knew and everyone else knew was going to be his last album, diagnosed as Terminal. I don't know if you ever saw his appearance on Letterman. Not only have I seen it, I think it's come up in four different episodes of Kick Out the Jams now. Get out of here. That's crazy.

In fact, for some reason Zeevon comes up a lot and every time Zeevon comes up, I mention the Letterman appearance because of that line. I'll let you tell the story, but that line he says in that episode is in my head enjoy every sandwich that's the line yeah uh yeah zeevon had sat in with with letterman's band uh many times over

the years he was sort of a guest player um i i was a fan of zeeBond before Excitable Boy came out. His first album with Hasten Down the Wind and Frank and Jesse James and the French Inhaler. Yeah. Most people know Werewolves of London, which is almost a kiss of death, right? If you're going to be something of a one-hit wonder, that it would be a song, Werewolves of London. But I remember watching this episode of Letterman,

and he was the only guest. this episode of Letterman. He was the only guest. And, you know, he made, Zeebon made the polar ice cap melt. Like he, Letterman, who is almost impervious, was breaking down and fighting back tears.

He's one that I didn't get to see in concert. That one sort of crushes me. Did you see his Larry Sanders show appearance? Yes. Yeah. No, and it's funny. Zivon would have been an amazing actor. He could have been so much more. The biography that his ex-wife, Crystal, wrote about him, it's heartbreaking to read because he was sort of a squandered genius, uh, you know, an immense classic, uh, classical music talent. Um, and he walked away from it and crazy substance abuse. And even he, he cleaned up and was, uh, sober and, um, and was sober and seemingly doing really well.

And then after his diagnosis, he sort of went wayward at the end as well, even when he was recording that song. Would you believe you're not the first jam kicker to kick out a Warren Zevon track? No, I can see that. People of aon track? No, I can see that. People of a certain vintage. Yes, I can see that. Are you familiar with AM640's Mike Stafford? Yes.

He kicked out Accidentally Like a Martyr. Okay. And I mentioned Mike Stafford, and this next jam is from an artist that Stafford also kicked out. Maybe you two need to hook up for coffee or something. Separated at birth. That's right.

Let's hear that jam now. I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything. What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you down. I will make you hurt.

Johnny Cash's Hurt. So I picked this one because the first 45 that I had as a kid was Ring of Fire. And I wasn't going to pick Ring of Fire. was Ring of Fire. And I wasn't going to pick Ring of Fire. But I always liked Johnny Cash and I got ribbed by friends for loving Folsom Prison Blues. But I think the great lesson

you can take from Johnny Cash is that there are second actsline, you know, for a time. And sort of lost his compass musically. And then, like, late in his career, he put out five albums that were probably his best. Merle Haggard had sort of the same career path, that there was like this rebirth with Death Right Upon Them. And yeah, this was,

I was at the Johnny Cash Museum during the Stanley Cup Finals and saw the, I don't know if you know the video for this, but Johnny Cash sitting on the red velvet throne. Love that video. Yeah. I saw the set for the video. Moving stuff.

for the video. Moving stuff. Also, it's my one, one of my other deals is that like I'm a huge TV, huge TV detective cop show fan. And I always loved Johnny Cash's episode of Columbo. Okay, that's great.

It was one of my all-time faves. And I mean, I don't think anyone listening is unaware, but just in case, that is a Nine Inch Nails song, but it sounds like it was made for Johnny to sing

at that point in his life. That's fucking brilliant. Yes, it is. It was so inspired. The selection of that song, but also the selection of all those songs on the American recording series. It was amazing, the stuff that they picked.

I agree with you. And you mentioned this, when he lost his way, like when I was growing up, Johnny Cash was the voice of like an ATM, okay? Like Canada Trust ATM. Yeah. I'm Johnny Cash. Like that's the Johnny Cash

I grew up with. Those American recordings you're talking about, unbelievably good. Like just some, just excellent stuff. And you mentioned different acts. Like yeah,

that's his greatest act, I think. And Hurt is probably his greatest act. His greatest act came when it looked like he was completely out of acts. Right. You're right. By the way, I mentioned Mike Stafford chose a Warren Zevon song, and he also chose a Johnny Cash song he picked Sunday morning coming down.

Which Johnny Cash actually sings a verse from in the Columbo episode. Oh, it all comes around so perfectly. Bob Willett kicked out a Johnny Cash song as well. He picked Folsom Prison Blues. There you go. So he wouldn't have been making fun of you for that. Let's kick out another jam. From the very first day that you were born to the very last time you waved and honked your horn

I had no chance at all to watch you grow Up so sadly, beautiful Up so sadly Beautiful Baby needs a brand new Sadly Beautiful by Glen Campbell A cover of Paul Westerberg of The Replacements. I used to bear an unhealthy resemblance to Glen Campbell

at different parts of my life. I know that I had a photo of Glen Campbell on my Facebook page, and my friend said, you know, that shot, that shot of you in high school. No, no, that's, that's Glen Campbell. That's not me. But I actually saw Glen Campbell on his farewell tour. his farewell tour. I saw him in Clearwater at the Capitol Theatre, a tiny theater maybe 450-500 people in the second row and it was a great concert experience. He was playing with three of his kids. Yeah. At that point,

it was his farewell tour. He had been diagnosed with sort of encroaching dementia. And at one point, he sort of confused the microphone and a glass of water and started singing into a glass of water and trying to drink a microphone.

But his guitar skills and his voice and everything, everything was right on the mark. It was a great, heart-wrenching concert experience um i also picked this of of the songs uh this is um this is from his meet the meet glenn campbell album again like johnny cash when it looks like glenn campbell who is much more of a joke, I guess, in many people's eyes. He came out and did a couple albums at the end of his career

that were just great. And on the latter of them, Ghost on the Canvas, his real last full studio album, Ghost on the Canvas, is written by Paul Westerberg for Glen Campbell. And if you can think of a weirder alliance than Paul Westerberg of The Replacements and Glen Campbell, you tell me.

They made a great documentary about this final tour of Glen. Yeah. They did not have any footage from the concert that I saw, but literally one of the concerts was from a week or two right after. Yeah, it was excellent. It was excellent. Let's kick out another jam. Thank you. ychwanegwch ychydig o fwy o fwyllion o'r llwyth o fwyllion a'r llwyth o fwyllion

a'r llwyth o fwyllion a'r llwyth o fwyllion a'r llwyth o fwyllion a'r llwyth o fwyllion guitar solo Happiness, more or less It's just a change in me Something in my liberty On my mind

Happiness, coming and going I watch you look at me Watch my fever go And I know just where I am But how many corners do I have to turn How many times do I have to learn All the love I have is in my mind is due after 10. How many times due after 10? All the love I have is in my mind.

But I'm a lucky man with fire in my hands. Lucky man, Verve. I love Urban Hymns. To me, it's a perfect 90s album. Everyone knows Bittersweet Symphony, and a lot of people will know the backstory to that, that the Verve ended up losing all their royalty money on it because

they sampled uh uh they they sampled a symphonic cover of a stone song and mick jagger and keith richard just jumped in there and took all the money that they didn't need. Unreal. But I love Urban Hymns, and this is maybe the lesser of the two singles. Funnily enough, it was the exit music for the highlight package at the end of this year's Stanley Cup playoffs, which I was thinking, like, if I had picked it like like that that one completely got my full

in endorsement and I listened to this just sort of as a reminder to myself that yeah consider yourself lucky it's in your hands you you look after it don't don't wait for it to be done and don't get down about yourself or feel sorry for yourself you're right about this being uh overshadowed if you will by bittersweet symphony because bittersweet symphony was such a monster hit yeah biggest rolling stones hit since 1989 at least but this jam got a lot of much music airplay I remember they played the video quite a bit for Lucky Man maybe on the heels of the Bittersweet

Symphony success or whatever and I always thought this song was right up there man this is a great jam there's on YouTube there's a great comeback concert that they did in 2008 in Glastonbury. But I guess the other thing, the backstory of Urban Hymns is great too,

because by the time the album came out and Bittersweet Symphony was massive and this album got some great reviews and they were already toast. They had split into four separate pieces and aren't really on speaking terms to this day. There will be no Verve comeback in our lifetime. Well, they said that there'd be no Oasis comeback. And I heard that that might be... I'll believe them when I see it. We'll see.

I always wondered what happened to the Verve, because you have these bang, bang, and then it's sort of like quiet. That's a great jam. I'll tell you, when you see their concert stuff on YouTube, you come away with the idea that actually they never really captured their

best on a studio album and there's no live album. It's our loss, man. Let's kick out another jam. Fuck this is hard, man. This is fucking hard. guitar solo guitar solo guitar solo

guitar solo guitar solo 805 I guess you're leaving soon I can't go on I can't go on without you It's useless to try To love you is so good

To keep you would be so wonderful Here is my heart That I give It's all that I have Please change your mind Before all my sunshine is gone Do you think you could try? Do you think you could try? Do you think you could try? Do you think you could try?

805, Moby Grape. Yeah. Okay. So this is a slightly complicated story. But Moby Grape, for a quick thumbnail history of the band, they were put together by CBS to be a super group, something along the lines of The Birds. And they were led by Skip Spence,

a Canadian guy from Windsor who had been in a Jefferson airplane. So we're talking 66, 67. And yeah, they were a completely star-crossed band, Skip Spence. But to go back to the album history, CBS so believed in this band that they released five singles

all on the first day that the album came out. It was a ridiculous decision. It came out four days before Sgt. Pepper's. Your timing could scarcely be worse. They played at the Monterey Pop Festival and their manager demanded a million dollars for the band to be in the documentary film that came out of the concert.

So they were dropped. Every bad business decision that could be made worked against them. Okay, now it would seem like I have no personal connection to this. Every bad business decision that could be made worked against them. Okay, now it would seem like I have no personal connection to this. I was at a watering hole on the Danforth, and the manager said, there's a fellow over here. He was a musician, right?

It's my friend Don Stevenson. I was like, Don Stevenson from Moby Grape? He said, like, not one in a thousand people will his name register with, like I recognized him immediately. So Don and I became good friends. This is like in the last five or six years. And he's originally from Seattle. He has lived here. He became a Canadian citizen not that long ago.

And Robert Plant has covered Moby Grape songs and Dawn songs, Chrissy Hind. Springsteen would play Omaha, their big single. I think it was number 13 or something like that. Springsteen, in his early days, covered Omaha all the time. Whenever he plays Nebraska, I guess he plays Omaha as well. But Don can be seen around town in various clubs and that. But not only can he be seen there, he busks in the subway.

So you've probably walked right by him. That's unbelievable. Yeah. Don has stories going way back. He and the guitarist in Moby Grape, Jerry Miller, who Eric Clapton said is one of his three favorite guitarists

of all time. Jerry and Don are from Seattle. Like, so they, Jerry, I can't speak for Don. I know that Jerry played with Hendrix in Band of Gypsies. Like, not the album, the bar that the album is named after. Oh my God.

So, I mean, he has an immense music history. You know, when they first were playing in San Francisco, Janis Joplin used to open for them. Like, he was all around that. So, yeah, I was able to make a personal connection to music history and a great friend. I can't believe you can walk by him maybe in a subway platform or whatnot. I mean, where the buskers are.

Yeah, he has an album coming out in the spring that he was recording over the winter. He's actually going to come out and do one of our spoken word storytelling shows at Social Capital.

I don't know if he'll be there next month or the month after, but just the idea of someone who once played to a multitude. I remember Don came up after I did my first stand-up set. He came out and he said, Gare, you've got stones going up there. I was like, Don, you played in front of 100,000 people

and had to keep time. He's like, I was behind the drum kit. So what's pressure to one person is something else to another. All right, that version of 805 that I grabbed, it has kind of that raw opening or whatever. I think the guy goes, fuck, this is hard. Is that the studio version?

No, that's not. I was wondering what I grabbed there. It's kind of a cool touch. Don plays that. He's in clubs around Toronto. A lot in the East End. He does a sensational version of that still. He was a drummer back in the East End. And yeah, he does a sensational version of that still. Awesome.

He was a drummer back in the day, and now he's an acoustic guitarist. Let's kick out your second last jam. Cool. I'm coming hard, baby, but now I'm cool I didn't make it sure, playing by the rules I'm coming hard, baby, but now I'm fine I'm taking trouble, sure, moving down the line. I come apart, baby, but that's okay, cause trouble may throw it in my way. I've been a real man Gonna keep moving Gonna go to town

I come apart I come up, get down There's only treatment That's a show Taxes, death, and trouble There's not no limit Taxes, death, and trouble. Taxes, death, and trouble. Trouble Man, Marvin Gaye. Got me singing Yeah, yeah

Ooh Come upon me I had to fight Took care of my deadness You realize Troubleman is a perfect counter to Lucky Man. Absolutely. But that's okay, cause trouble, man, don't get in my way Hey, hey, I know some places and I see some faces Like I've got connections, they dig my dimensions When people say that's okay, they don't bother me

I'm ready to make it, don't care what the weather Don't care about no trouble, got myself together I've got no kind of protection, it's all around I call the call, baby I've been in trouble, got myself together I've been the kind of protection that's all around I come apart, babe I've been for real, babe With the trouble mask I'm moving, going in time I come apart, I come up getting down

There's only three things But show Taxes, debt, and trouble This I know, baby This I know, baby Ain't gonna let her sweat for you, babe Whoo! Oh, yeah! Oh, come on, but now I'm cool

I didn't make it, babe. Played by the blues. Come a heartbeat. Now I'm fine. Checking trouble, sure. Hey, moving down the line. So the reason that I picked Trouble Man, Trouble Man was a 70s blaxploitation flick

of really no consequence. Not a great flick. An amazing soundtrack by Marvin Gaye. But Trouble Man was the working title of a novel that I've been working on and off the last three years or four years. And it spins out of the first piece of fiction that I ever published. In 2011, 2010, 2011, ESPN, the magazine, they published a fiction issue. And the guest editor was Dave Eggers, an amazing work of staggering genius, or heartbreaking work of staggering genius. So he was the guest editor, and our Emmy, our managing editor,

said to the writers in the usual sports writing pool, he said, if you're interested in submitting a piece of fiction, let us know. But it was also sort of like, with the unspoken, don't hold your breath. Because Dave Eggers went out and got writers from the New Yorker, National Book Award winners, all of that. And anyways, they picked the story that I had written based on the true life of John Brisker, a former ABA and NBA player who had gone missing when he went to Africa. A lot of people think that he went there to hide out. And so I

got the CIA documents through Freedom of Information and then built this story about John Brisker using excerpts from the actual documents made at the time. So that ended up getting published. And I remember, I think it was Tobias Wolf, like one of my favorite writers. He actually, I actually bumped him from being in the magazine. Oh, wow. Yeah. Uh, so it was, it was incredible, but my, my first piece of fiction appeared in a magazine

with a circulation of 2.2 million. My career is all how it's not supposed to work, and that might be the least likely of all the turns. So that's sort of a work that's still hanging out there for me. I published a few excerpts from it online at Sportsnet a couple of years back. Not that it's indefinitely shelved. I've got more written on it. But yeah, it's sort of my long-term labor of love. That's awesome. Here's a story idea. A podcaster, he starts a podcast in his basement and he invites people over and he asks them questions as a means to solve a mystery. Is that a good one?

You know what? That is of its time. There is no doubt about that. That's right. Are you ready to kick out your last jam? Absolutely. Thank you, Julie. guitar solo The walk that goes Johnny and Lucy He might pass by

From the hour of need There's a lot of soul Drinking from the well Locked in a factory Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey

After getting the honey Hey, hey, hey Then you don't go Killing all the bees Johnny Appleseed, Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros. Joe Strummer, formerly of The Clash, the late Joe Strummer. His death and Oren Zevon were far too early and far too close. But again, I, again,

I picked this song for twofold reason. One, uh, I saw the clash, uh, their first two tours, uh, saw them on the,

at the Rex theater on the Danforth. Some at the old O'Keeffe, now Hummingbird, maybe I'm not even sure what they call it anymore. Sony Center for the Performing Arts. Can't keep track. Uh, so, uh, I was a huge clash fan. Uh, or what they call it anymore. Sony Center for the Performing Arts. Can't keep track. So I was a huge Clash fan. I had their import debut album

before it was released in North America. I was a huge fan of them. But this is all Johnny Appleseed. And I picked this song because I think Strummer's post-Flash career doesn't really get as much attention as it should. But this song was also the theme music for John from Cincinnati. I don't know if you remember that.

Dude, I saw every episode. You mentioned Jason Priestley's in your show. Yeah, Luke Perry is in that one. But listen, your slavish devotion to John from Cincinnati cannot match mine. Now, the one thing about you talk about Moby Grape having

like the world's worst possible timing. John from Cincinnati would be the only thing that could have even worse timing. Oh, and again, I guess? Yeah. Because it debuted the week after The Sopranos ended. No, it debuted in the time slot right after. Oh, is that? Okay, I knew there was a connection

because I watched Sopranos and I would stay and watch. It went from cut to black. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so everyone watching HBO is like they've thrown... They're flustered and what's going on here? They've thrown beer bottles at their screens. Is Tony alive? Is he dead?

Yeah, that's it. That's right. So, but to give you an idea of how deep my love of John from Cincinnati goes. I can't tell you

how excited I am to hear this because I thought I was the only one. I watched every episode and I loved it, okay? It's amazing. It didn't get more than one season. It got like whatever,

10 episodes or 12 or whatever. I'm, I can't wait to hear this because I've never met a fellow John from Cincinnati fan before. You can't even grasp how invested I am in John from Cincinnati. So when I was on assignment in California, I drove down to Imperial beach, like where this was set. It's about a family of

surfers, hugely dysfunctional, a surfing legend, his junkie son, and a talented grandson, a teenager who's gifted. And there are so many weird characters walking through it. David Milch was the brains behind it, who was behind Hill Street and various other... And David Milch himself is a complete train wreck of a person. train wreck of a person. And it's almost as if he wanted to make the most difficult drama possible. Like it really had sort of a kick me sign on it. But anyway, so I went down to Imperial Beach and I went to all the sets.

I met people who had been extras on the show, shot all the video. I have it stored all at home. Yeah. Awesome. It was doomed, I think, from episode one. Yeah. But it was fascinating to watch. But it was like effed up. I always felt like I just went on a trip.

Zach Morris was in that show, okay? You know what I mean? Yeah. By the way, I, I, Zach Morris was in that show. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah. And by the way, that show is what made me fall in that song. Right. Of course. That's that show made me fall in love with Johnny Appleseed.

I, I, ever since that show, I've loved Johnny Appleseed. I didn't, I didn't even know about Johnny Appleseed until I saw that show. Yeah. No,

all the sets. I don't know if you remember, uh, uh, Butchie. Yeah, of course. Yeah. He was living in sets, I don't know if you remember Butchie. Yeah, of course. Yeah. He was living in like a squalid motel. So I was literally by the room in the squalid hotel that he lived in, and it was condemned. It was like, really sort of creepy beach town south of San Diego. And at the time, it was right after the collapse in 2008,

like when the markets all went into the shitter. And so blocks of the town were being foreclosed. Like it was sort of ghostly in a way. All these magnificent beach properties were all being foreclosed. By the way, although you're the first to kick out the Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros, I never say that word right.

Mescaleros. Yeah, I never say that right. There have been a few Clash songs. So, Stephen Stanley, original member of Lowest of the Low, he kicked out Hitsville, UK. Mark Hebbshire

kicked out... Hebbsy. Hebbsy kicked out Train in Vain and Ivor Hamilton... The Hidden Cut Train in Vain. Train in Vain. And Ivor Hamilton. The hidden cut, Train in Vain. Train in Vain. And Ivor Hamilton kicked out Know Your Rights. So we've heard a lot of Joe Strummer on the show. By the way, I've been looking at this hat the whole time. What does the BBB stand for?

Birmingham Black Barons. Negro League team that actually had Willie Mays and Hank Aaron in the same outfield. I'm glad I asked because you've got a cool story. You can say, oh, it's just a hat. Just a hat. That's cool. Speaking of Lowest of the Low,

we close every episode of Toronto Mic'd with Rosie and Gray from Lowest of the Low, which we're playing now. My one buddy says I look like a guy in the Lowest of the Low. Yeah, a bit. Stephen Stanley. I'll show you a picture of me. You look like Stephen. But he was not there. He left the low. Yeah, a bit. Stephen Stanley. I'll show you a picture of me. You look like Stephen. But who's not there?

He left the band. He's got his own. In fact, here. He's got the Stephen Stanley. I'm holding up his CD. Okay. The Stephen Stanley band. But that's the guy.

You have that look. You, him. And Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon. You could all be like. Glenn Campbell. Glenn Campbell from the same family. All wrapped up in one.

That's great. Sean O'Sullivan. I got as well. I can see it a bit. Thanks. If you could say I can't see it, that would be so much better. I mean, that or yeah, Luke Perry.

I couldn't quite. By the way, that was great fun. Lots of fun. Thanks for doing this. Yeah, no, it's great. Love doing it. And that brings us to the end of our 301st show. You can follow me on Twitter. I'm at Toronto Mike.

Gare is at Gare Joyce NHL. Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer. Propertyinthe6.com is at Brian Gerstein. And PayTM is at PayTM Canada. See you all. I was going to say see you all next week, at Brian Gerstein, and PayTM is at PayTM Canada. See you all. I was going to say see you all next week, but Dave Hodge is coming over tomorrow to kick out the jams. Oh, wow. And get this. So Dave Hodge

is like, I want to kick out the jams. Dave Hodgkins. But he says he says he needs to name all his top 100. So I don't know how we're going to do it, but he wants to name his top 100. We're going to play

the top 10 and kick out the jams, but he wants to name his top 100 songs of all time. What? Isn't that crazy? That's crazy.

That's crazy. His sister was the B on Live It Up back in the 80s. I don't know if you remember Live It Up. I'm trying to remember Live It Up.

Ask him about his sister. I will. And she was in a B you remember Live It Up. I'm trying to remember Live It Up. Ask him about his sister. I will. She was in a bee outfit in Live It Up. The only bee outfit I can think of is the Shannon Hoon song. Bounce that one off him. I'll ask him about that. See you all tomorrow. Take care.