Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Gare Joyce Returns: Toronto Mike'd #458

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

Mike catches up with Gare Joyce who tells ten great stories, including the reason he won't be heard on Bob McCown's Prime Time Sports.

Welcome to episode 458 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything. Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Propertyinthe6.com, Palma Pasta, Fast Time Watch and Jewelry Repair, Camp Turnasol, and Sticker U. I'm Mike from TorontoMike.com and joining me this week is author and writer for Sportsnet and amateur stand-up comedian

Gare Joyce. I have applause. You want applause? There we go. Tip your waiter. Welcome back, Gare. Great to be back. Gare, don't call me Gary.

Don't call me Gary. Don't call me late for dinner. I have a song for you because you've been here before. I have. So I know. Oh, it's my song. I feel like if we're a couple, this would be our song because it means so much to you. And you introduced me to this song.

And subsequently, like Jim Slotek came in and put it on his list as his favorite song of all time. So now I'm like noticing it in places, but you're the one who kind of put it on my radar. noticing it in places, but you're the one who kind of put it on my radar. It's funny, because after the show, I went back and tried to search out the Left Bank, the band that played this, and there is virtually nothing on the radar about them. You would think at some point there would be one of those,

where are they now? But they went into hiding, I think, immediately as this dropped off the charts. Like, I mean, I'm no musicologist, okay? But I try to have an interest in different genres and different artists and different eras. And I'll do deep dives into areas I don't know much about. And I'll catch up. And Left Bank, I never heard of them. So it's a forgotten part of musical history.

It was my lucky song. For those who hadn't tuned in last time, it was the song that I heard right before running the City 800s in Junior. And I won. So I always considered it my lucky song. So you peaked early. I did.

I did. It's 17. That's funny, because just before we pressed record, we were talking about you had a Twitter exchange with Hebzy. Hebzy, yeah. Mark Hebzer. And it was about, like, Jim Ryan? Jim Ryan, yeah.

Jim Ryan, but not spelt like Ryan. With a U. Right. Okay. And yeah, I was a high school runner and huge track fan and Jim Ryan was a world record holder in the mile and he was an absolute phenom. Made an Olympic team as a high schooler record holder in the mile. And he was an absolute phenomenon.

Made an Olympic team as a high schooler and never won an Olympic gold medal. Sort of had a dark cloud. Every time, every four years, a dark cloud blew in. And it was at altitude in 68. In 72, he fell. In 64, he was probably a little young young did Kurt Brownie never win a gold? I feel like he's a guy who was like he'd win the world championships

but never a gold medal even Elvis Stoico he never won a gold same deal well you're the Elvis Stoico no it's not you it's Jim Ryan but did you won in the 800 when you were a teenager? I did. It's been all downhill since then.

It was more or less after my junior year, when the cities ran sub two school record. I don't know if it's still there or not. Hope it isn't, but yeah. And it came up because Hebsey was in philadelphia promoting his book and he uh was that the pen relays yes and and i mean i loved uh hebsey's book just because i'm a track junkie i still follow it pretty avidly not as much as the old days it used to be it was funny i was talking to miltilt Oddy a little while ago, and the Maple Leaf Indoor Games was a huge event for years and years,

an absolute sellout. We won the 4x800, the high school, what used to be high school also, was run at the Maple Leaf Indoor Games. And when I was at Monarch Park, we won that. That's 75, I guess. 1975. By the way, the book launched. That's where I last saw you do stand-up comedy.

So you did stand-up at Hebsey's book launch. Not a great crowd. It was not a crowd that was expecting comedy. Or if they were expecting comedy, I think you were too edgy for them. I mean, I had a great seat, if you will. I was standing because I got roasted pretty good in it. It was kind of fun.

But I made sure I was there in time because I knew you were going to roast me. And I'm like, I'm not going to miss this. And I guess that crowd, I think they were looking for more wholesome entertainment maybe. There were no seats everyone was standing and everyone was backing away as soon as they were essentially up against the wall by the end of my did you get any like official feedback from anyone like hebsey or jake gold or anybody who was like uh moderating i think hebsey was was cool it. Jake, I don't know. I gave Jake the business. He used to be a neighbor.

Okay. Yes. And he would call the cops on my daughters. Is that right? Yeah. Okay. Can I ask you, since we just talked about your Twitter thread with Hebsey about Jim Ryan, I had an interesting Twitter exchange with Jake Gould.

I think it was yesterday or the day before. Okay, so my last guest, no, two guests ago was a guy named Michael Barclay. You know him. He wrote the Tragically Hip book. And it's a long title to that book. So I was going to tweet about the book. And I googled the Never Ending Present. I googled because there's a whole long leg subtitle.

There's a whole thing. So Google gave me the name and I copied the name of the book and I pasted it into my tweet. Well, little did I know that the tragically hip has the lowercase T. Okay. Well, this upset brand manager, I don't know, former manager Jay Gold. And he kind of called me out on Twitter that it's got to be an uppercase T. Now, I can't edit a tweet, so I think we went back and forth,

but he was adamant and very disappointed in me that I would not correct this mistake. And it got a little, I think it got a little awkward. I don't know if you caught any of this great controversy. Jake strikes me as a little fussy, not meaning to disparage, but he does seem a great controversy. Jake strikes me as a little fussy. Not meaning to disparage, but he does seem a little particular.

I called him pedantic. I think I subtweeted and said most pedantic. Well, that's a little stronger. I could see how he'd get bent out of shape about that. But anyway, since Jake Gold came up. But it was great to see you do stand-up at that event. You also did stand-up at TMLX2. That was fantastic.

It was a great time. Is that true? I don't think I've ever found out. Did you get feedback? Like, did people kind of give you, like, some reviews or whatever? Tell me what you learned about you. Because I took your stand-up from TMLX2, and I put it into an episode. So anyone who subscribes to Toronto Mic got it kind of pushed to them.

Force fed. Yes. It was force fed. It was, I will say it was a challenge to do stand up in an outdoor setting with the soundtrack of traffic blowing by on the QEW. Right.

the soundtrack of traffic blowing by on the QEW. Right. With people imbibing with their backs to the stage and seemingly unaware that there's a show going on. But those who were gathered around the stage were pretty receptive, very happy with that. And it was a great experience. And following Schultz hard to miss i was gonna say that's on purpose right like you put schultz out there and then you seem funny

in retrospect in the funnier funnier right right right although and i hope if schultz is listening uh i thought david was very funny i i laughed like Like, could you hear me? Because it's Kevin, Kevin McGran. Yes. Was your videographer. That's right. And I hadn't actually, didn't know it was him at the time. But, and that's your phone that keeps going off, right? Yes.

I'm going to turn this off. I was like, that can't be my phone. Because my phone's recording this on Periscope. What did I do with it? Oh, there it is. Sorry, if you can't find it, just follow the dings. Yeah. It's the breaking news.

Okay. So where am I going with this? Oh, yeah. So Kevin McGran took the video of you and David find it just follow the dings yeah it's the breaking news okay so where am i going to this oh yeah so kevin mcgrann took the video of you and david schultz doing the stand-up and he was sitting right beside me so when i listened back when i ripped the youtube to mp3 to make the episode i can hear myself as the laugh track like it's my laugh i recognize that laugh and uh i can tell you in as i listen back over the drone of 18 wheelers yeah see the bands drown that out but you guys can't don't have that luxury but i thought uh schultz was funny he started with an ann romer joke and it just got better you did your uh steve bannon routine

can i call it that that's that's what it is and it was good like i did i did french teacher too yeah it was and it might have been i noticed it was good. I did French teacher too. Yeah. And it might have been, I noticed. It was a little risque considering that you were going to have a kids act on. The kids act that was going to do 90s jams. Splashin' Boots, by the way, managed by Jake Gold. Okay. So it's full circle of the whole thing. Splashin' Boots was stuck in Newfoundland with the guy from Great Big Sea.

Doyle? What's his name? Great Big Sea. Doyle. Something Doyle. Right. You know who I'm talking about Sea, Doyle, what's his name? Great Big Sea, Doyle, something Doyle. Right. You know who I'm talking about. Alan Doyle. Yes.

Yeah. And so they're stuck there making that album, which won them a Juno Award, by the way. And there were a couple of kids that came to see Splashin' Boots and I felt terrible because they were committed. And I mean, I didn't pay them any money. Maybe that's why they blew me off. But I felt terrible for the kids. But then i felt really bad when you broke into your uh

french teacher routine and the parents are trying to like shield the kids from well i gave them a heads up it was coming right and it's it's actually not profane like i that is one of my deals is that i don't swear and in my set no no swear swear words. It manages to be like triple X rated without one F-bomb or anything like that. And this is a good teaser because people can find that episode. I don't know what it was, 417 or something. Go find the episode that is TMLX2 and listen. And you can hear David Schultz and you can hear Gear Joyce and then you can hear my speech.

Do that. Are you coming to TMLX3? What date is it? June 27th. June 27th. If I'm not at the draft or something like that, I'll be there for sure. Because Lowest of the Low are playing.

Now, this is another thing. My one buddy, Steve Brown, is a huge Lowest of the Low fan. And he tells me that I look like one of the guys in the band. Yeah, no, he's not in the band anymore. You look like Stephen Stanley. Okay. He's been on the show. He kicked out the jams too.

All right. But he's a founding member of Lowest of the Low, but he's gone on to do his own thing. The Stephen Stanley band, no longer with Lowest of the Low. It is the look, but he's gone on to do his own thing. The Stephen Stanley Band, no longer with lowest of the low. It is the look, I think. All of us, Ben and I, Stephen Stanley, it's all this troubled past. So he might, too bad, because if he was going to be there on June 27th, we could do a little bit around that, but I don't think he'll be there.

But lowest of the low. I could sit in with the band. They'll say he's back. Yeah, seriously. I had a guy in yesterday, Stu Stone Who did a great documentary about baseball cards Did you collect baseball cards? I wasn't Really a big

Baseball card collector I have to admit that I was never a card collector Well these are the 1987 Topps cards Here He went to interview never a card collector uh well these are like these are the 1987 tops cards um here but um he went to interview uh jose canseco about this in this documentary and canseco said that one time he was supposed to do a charity boxy match and jose's where's his twin brother he sent his twin brother which i think you could you could be stephen stanley i don't know if you can play

guitar but okay so because i'm mentioning tmlx3 on june 27th from 6 p.m to 9 p.m and everyone who can hear my voice right now is invited there's no cover you show up well that great lakes brewery is going to buy you your first beer and like i said we have uh the royal pains who played at tmlx2 and tmlx1 they will play i'm gonna make a great speech maybe make a gear joyce a joke or two if he's in the crowd here you go and then don't make a joke about wilner he doesn't take it that well that that wilner joke was was pretty funny i hope uh wilner wasn't offended that i laughed very loud at that joke oh if you could have seen the expression on his face. Oh my God.

But the guy you got worse is he wasn't there, but he might've heard it is Dave Hodge. Yes. And he might be a Dave. If you're watching gears, the guy. It's funny. Cause I did bump into him at Damien Cox's book launch. Right.

And so that was a little awkward. I just played dumb, which I can do almost naturally. I almost went to that. I was invited to this book launch. It was a lot of fun. I did stand up there. Did it go better? It went much better, as a matter of fact, it did.

All right. So I'm mentioning Great Lakes, so this is a good chance to give you this six-pack of beer. This is courtesy of Great Lakes. Enjoy. Enjoy responsibly. I gave you a six-pack last time you were here, right? Yes.

Okay. And you enjoyed it responsibly, not irresponsibly? Not irresponsibly. No, it's great. And I have to say, I very much enjoyed the product at your event last summer. Excellent. We needed it.

It was a hot day. I'm hoping for the same. I want the same conditions, obviously, for TMLX3. Weather-wise, it was great. A shutdown on the QEW would be appreciated. Maybe I'll get John Tory or somebody to pull some strings. I think he's a friend of the brewery. I'll see what I can do.

I thought you were going to say he's a friend of the show. Not yet. One day. So Great Lakes, thank you. They're a fiercely independent craft brewery. I'll see what I can do. I thought you were going to say he's a friend of the show. Not yet. One day. So Great Lakes, thank you. They're a fiercely independent craft brewery located here in Etobicoke. You told me, I asked you, like I asked all my guests, meat lasagna or vegetarian

lasagna? Because I get Palma Pasta to deliver a frozen lasagna for you. And you said veggie lasagna, and then you added this neat little tidbit. I almost called it a timbit. That's a different sponsor. No meat since 1974.

Please elaborate. Yeah. So when I was running track in high school, I mean, we had some not very sophisticated training methods. And my one coach, God, I don't know where he is now, Dave Kerr, who was almost a four-minute miler at some point. Anyways, the diet that I was on, I wasn't eating any meat except for liver. So like for a month, the only meat I ate was, was liver and I just couldn't take it anymore. And so, so I started going without meat completely. And, uh, it, it really was just sort of habit that I, well, I broke the habit of, of eating meat, but I did have a watershed moment.

I went up to Bracebridge on Victoria Day weekend, 1974. And on the road going up there, we pulled over at a gas station, filled up, and I bought a hot rod. I don't know if you remember hot rods. Beef jerky, basically? Yeah, it was a pepper hot rod. I don't know if you remember hot rod. Beef jerky basically? Yeah, it was a pepperoni stick. I remember.

And I took one bite of it and then I looked and there was like a little worm like poking its head out, right? Oh no. It's like just staring back at me. I spat it out and. And that was it? No, that wasn't it. But it was, it was later that day was it was later that day it was later that

day there are no kids listening to this right no and it's okay this is an explicit show on sure so uh we got to brace bridge and there was a place selling 18 inch hot dogs not not foot longs these were 18 inches foot and a half long yeah it was basically like a sub-sized hot dog and um mine was on the grill and um i i looked over at across the road and there was a donkey um just sort of grazing and his dong was so long that it almost touched the grass right and and i looked at the hot dog and i looked back at the donkey and then this donkey swatted a fly with it against his stomach. And so that was it. I didn't have a bite of the hot dog after that.

And that's the last time I ever ate meat. 1974. So I guess you eat a lot of beans. Because I often think about doing this. And then I realize, well, I don't think I have a good enough diet to quit meat. Like you eat a lot of nuts and. Yeah. I, I, uh, I used to be, uh, completely vegan before that was a deal.

No animal products whatsoever. Oh, so no cheese even. No. The first eight years were, were more or less like that. Uh, and then, uh, a couple of years,

uh, uh, that was from 1974 to 1982, 82. I started, uh, eating, uh,

dairy and fish again. And so I eat, I eat fish a couple of times a week although not big quantities of it and not lobster shellfish particularly doesn't do a thing for me and uh i do eat i do eat eggs although egg whites not eggs and i try and manage my diet back in the day back in the 70s not eating meat in toronto was really tough i can imagine there was there were two restaurants the groaning board which was on bay and uh it was just called the vegetarian restaurant that was on uh young street just below welles. Those were the only two places.

And if you didn't eat meat, you would have a salad at a restaurant would be basically ahead of iceberg lettuce, a tomato wedge, and Kraft dressing. And you just had to take your chances. And I don't know. People of a certain vintage won't won't know this but back back in the 70s you could only get yogurt at health food stores right like it's i mean it's a frozen yogurt now you can get at a fast food place yeah But back then, yogurt was considered so kinky. Anyway, so I did a lot of grocery shopping

at the Big Carrot and other health food establishments that have gone by the wayside. But it was an alternative lifestyle then. And both my daughters, one's vegetarian, one's vegan. Now you can enjoy, I guess I'm asking, you can enjoy this vegetarian lasagna, right? There's no meat, but there's like cheese in there and stuff. That's okay.

Yes. You can eat that. You'll eat that. Yes. Okay, good. That's courtesy of Palma Pasta, Mississauga's best fresh pasta in Italian food. They have four locations in Mississauga and Oakville. But I think the coolest location is Palma's Kitchen,

which is near Mavis and Burnhamthorpe. So go to palmapasta.com to find out. No, I actually went there a fair number of times. Palma's Kitchen or the one next door? The one on Burnhamthorpe. Yeah, on Seminick. Yes. Seminick, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, it's just by the 427, right? Yeah, itinick. Seminick. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, yeah, it's just by the 427, right? Uh, yeah, it was outstanding. I, I would help my,

uh, one buddy, uh, uh, construction worker who suffered a stroke and I would go out on sites with him and help him out when he was recovering. And he did a lot of work up that way. So that was, uh, Palma was the place that we always went for, for lunch. And he was recovering and he did a lot of work up that way. So that was, uh,

Palma was the place that we always went for, for lunch. And he was, he, he's Sicilian. So he was, he was as particular as Jake gold about his food and, and he,

he swore by it. So I can recommend it heartily having been there. Now I, I went to Catholic high school and i think 40 percent of the high school you're this is you're shocking me with this that's right it's not shocking uh and 40 of my classmates were of italian descent and i'm still close friends with a number of these people and they all tell me palm is the real deal like this isn't just some faux no no this is these these tomatoes are coming like from Italy.

And like I know Anthony, my contact there, I know his parents who are still alive. They started the company. Like this was real like homemade Italian recipes. They got the sauce right. If you want like quality, tasty Italian food, you got to try Palma Pasta. What I can say is that that location, when we would go in for lunch during the summer, it was hard to get parked. Like it was, they had a lot of traffic.

How long ago was this? Because they bought the property next door. So they bought the property at the corner and they built like a 10,000 foot square foot space. That's like, I think it's less than a year old like i think they opened it in the fall okay no this that was next door to the one that you this is going back 10 years yeah yeah and that one that's where i first discovered palma was the one you're talking about and then now they're right next door so still seminic i always get that wrong seminic court but uh yeah fantastic so enjoy enjoy the lasagna. Absolutely.

Here's some stickers. Okay. All right. I just picked these up. See, for the people in Periscope here, you can show it to them actually. But what do I got for you? I got a Toronto Mic'd sticker.

You can put that on your car, of course. I want everyone to know that you've been on Toronto Mic'd. This is the people that provided the stickers, stickeru.com. So that's StickerU. But here's one. I get to choose like a special sticker

that's not mine or theirs for each guest. And for you, because we're going to do a bunch of like Toronto stories and great stories. This is a fantastic Toronto sticker for you.

That's for you. My hood. Enjoy. StickerU.com. That's where you go if you want to make your own customized stickers, labels, decals. I actually stuck one of the Toronto Mike stickers on my bike. And I'm like, is that a good idea?

Like now when people see it locked up, they're going to know whose bike it is. And if they don't like the show, they're going to vandalize my bike. You put the Toronto Mike one on there? Was that a bad idea? To be honest. It would be good for valet parking, I guess. And it did.

It's on, it's like, you can actually see it on my bike. Oh, there it is. Yeah, yeah. I tweeted a picture of it if you're looking for it.

So thank you, sticker you. So you got your lasagna, you got your beer, you got your stickers. Let's, let me ask you, you mentioned Damien Cox.

You were at his book launch. Yes, I was. When he was on recently, he was on this show recently, I had a question in my notes that he had asked. Like I said, who has a question for Damien?

And he said, ask me about, ask me about Gare Joyce or something like that. And I forgot to ask him. What's Gare Joyce really like? Right. And I don't know how this happened

because I almost never miss a question, but I missed it. I actually just completely missed it and accidentally did not ask that question. What do you think would have been his answer to that question? That's what I want to know. His single friend in the business? I don't know. You got two, right?

Because you're friends with Schultz. Did you guys break up? I didn't say my only friend in the business. I said his only friend. Oh, sorry. No, I have... Brad Fay is a friend of Deimos too. I think he's got two.

Who's that? Brad Fay. Brad Fay? Brad Fay is... Well, he hasn't known him that long, right? Give it time. They come and go. I'm the one that's been there throughout so how long are you knowing cox i knew cox before he knew me right i i met him when i was

in charge of the library at uh at ryerson when we were in J school. And I would sit there and clip out of town papers for three hours every morning, uh, for minimum wage. And, and Damien would occasionally drop in, uh, squiring some woman around,

uh, and trying to impress her, uh, despite the holes in his realm of knowledge. We had hair back then. It's important to know what he had like full hair. Well, I do. No, but he did back then.

You know what? The tide was already going out at that point. Even like in 1983, I guess it was. Oh, wow. Because that photo I saw in the star all those years you look like you had this very healthy mullet going on maybe the embellished or you know who knows maybe the wig borsprimo probably right doing his his magic but um so i once upbraided uh damien uh when he got something wrong uh when he got something wrong that he was dropping into

conversation with this girl in the library you know i was just sort of more anxiously snipping uh paper and uh i said you know actually it's for the sake of our it's it's the house of representatives not the senate right, something like that. Not such a small point. And Damien just looked at me, he goes, they pay you to cut papers, right? And that was, yeah, so that's how our friendship started. And really, that's one of the high points.

But it seems to have lasted. And he's forgotten that completely. That part, he has forgotten. No, I'm no Damien Cox. I almost said I'm no Cox expert, but I don't know if people come in at this point. It'll sound funny. I'm no Damien Cox expert,

but he's been here four times and not many so i and each time he's come over he's been a warmer person than the time before like you can if you listen to them back to back back to back yeah like his first visit was kind of chilly in here and i'm like oh he's you know you couldn't read him yeah the second visit a little warmer you know he tells some stories about his daughters or whatever and then then the third visit, he's like, oh, he's practically like friendly. And then the fourth visit, it was like, hey, my buddy's here. Let's chat.

So it's like a progression. There has been an evolution in the character and makeup of my good friend and colleague. You could have, next time you have him, you have to ask him about the one time on the fan when he mispronounced his own name.

How did he say it? He said, I'm Damien Cock. And we just filled the entire segment with bent over holding the gut laughter. No, that's too funny. That's too funny. His old show was called The Razor's Edge. The Razor's Edge. Now it goes like right over the dome.

So, okay, that's our Damien Cox segment. But yourself, who are your friends in the sports media business? Like you mentioned Cox, and we know you're the guy who got David Schultz to try a stand-up. That's like your claim to... Well, I didn't get him to do it. You encouraged him? No, he followed me into it.

Yes. I thought you nudged him into it and said this would be good for you. I made the mistake of inviting him to my first stand-up show. And that triggered him. And he went and took a class at Second City after that. And has been on my tail the entire time. And who else? You had Kevin McGrann taking video for you.

Is he a friend? No, Kev is definitely a friend uh one of the but one of the few i would say one of the few i don't i don't have uh too many uh i mean the kids at work you know they're like the kids in the hall or something like that there i'm at sportsnet yeah yeah i mean i'm a friendly mentor. Probably somewhat intimidating. No, I'm not. Do you tell them lots of tales about how it was back in the day? Are you like Grandpa Simpson?

More like Ulysses or something like that. Tales of brave Ulysses. I'm out there spinning yarns. Stop me if you've heard this one you you did you did tell us so um no i i probably just a bit but uh so many of my friends are out of the business now you know and uh and well again well he's not out of the business he writes for the star but the sports net and him have parted ways yes well some of some of my best friends's not out of the business. He writes for the Star, but the Sportsnet and him have parted ways. Yes.

Well, some of my best friends are more out of the business than that. They are no longer with us. You know, I counted Red Fisher as a friend. Jim Kelly, who will probably come up in conversation later, was my best friend in the business. And that's like, it's crazy. I thought he was fantastic. And this will come up later too.

So as a teaser, we should tell people that we're going to do like top 10, 10 great stories from Gary Joyce. And the final story is like why you're banned from primetime sports. So that's just a teaser. I'm glad you're putting that last. It's going last. I need people to tune in

because everybody's ready for this. In fact, Brian Gerstein has a question about that before you get going. But when I had a commute, I listened to a lot of primetime sports, and Jim Kelly was fantastic on primetime sports. And we should tell people, we're not talking about the quarterback here. No, he was a fantastic guy away from the radio. He was only good on radio because he is only a good person that's all that is he didn't have to put on a good guy persona in fact i remember one time

that he was sub hosting uh for the bobcat and so he had to be an edgier character not a fit no not him no no and it's it's really it's tough for me to talk about um uh right before he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer uh he and i were planning to take our susans, because we're both married to Susans. We're planning to take our Susans on a bike trip in Prince Edward County. And we'd put it off for a year, and then we couldn't do it and never did. So embrace that stuff when you get a chance, because you don't know. And yeah, hopefully he comes up again in one of your 10 stories. He does.

Good, good. One thing about yourself on Twitter, we talked kind of about how Jake and I had that and you and Hebsey had that. And Hebsey and I were talking this morning because he did his... Hebsey's a friend of mine in the media. Hebsey's a good guy. We were talking about how it's difficult on Twitter to see tones.

Like you write these short little things and, you know, there's no tone to it unless you put a happy face at the end or something like an emoji like that. And there's a lot of people will kind of like get defensive on something they see on Twitter that was meant maybe as like a snarky joke or whatever. And then it's next thing you know, you're in a Twitter fight or something. It's very common on Twitter, which is ridiculous to say it out loud, actually. But you often like to pretend. I think you're pretending.

We're going to find out right now. But you'll make jokes about lawyering up. And if you come up, you came up in the Michael Grange episode. And then very humorously that I took as a joke because I know you. I've bumped into you a few times. I've met you a bunch of times. I know you, I've bumped into you a few times. I've met you a bunch of times. I know you're joking. But I would get, like, DMs or emails from people like, is Gear Joy serious?

Like, they think I'm getting sued by you. So, like, for the record, can you, these are jokes when you say you're lawyering up. Because of the Ross Porter thing, right? Yes. Okay. Yes, that's all that is but now this this isn't one of our stories but i was successfully sued in two countries and the out-of-court settlement was in the neighborhood of a million pounds what's the story there this is the bonus story we'll call this is the bonus

story okay give me some this was this was just going to be a DVD extra or something like that. For patrons. No, I had written a story for the Irish Independent newspaper out of Dublin. And the story was about Barry McGuigan, the former featherweight champion. Let's not get it wrong. Former featherweight champion of the world who was being inducted into the International Boxing Hall of Fame in Canastota, New York. And so I pitched them on doing a feature around the induction of Barry and two other fighters, Bobby Chacon and Terry Norris.

Both are brain damaged. Bobby Chacon actually can't even form words at this point, now deceased. Terry Norris actually sued Don King successfully for booking him for fights, knowing that he had brain damage. Like, Terry Norris had to prove that he was brain damaged to win his suit.

So this was sort of incontrovertible stuff. And Barry McGuigan is as sharp as a tack. I did this story, and I sent it off to the editor and never heard back and I I just assumed that it wasn't going to run and a couple of weeks later I get get word back that the paper would like to fly me to Dublin. And I wondered why. And it wasn't the sports editor who was contacting me. It was, in fact, the editor-in-chief. editor-in-chief.

And it turned out that McGuigan's manager was suing the paper for libel in both the UK and in the Republic of Ireland. And the contentious line in the piece was in fact a line from

Bert Sugar, who used to be one of the Bobcats' best friends. One of my favourite guests on Primetime Sports. Absolutely. The fedora. You could almost see the fedora in the cigar over the airwaves, right? Classic. Yeah.

So, Barry McGuigan lost his title to a fighter named Stevie Cruz, and they fought. Stevie Cruz was a substitute. He was not a major contender. And this is back in the day of 15 round fights and they fought on the undercard of a hearns fight or something like that but it was in las vegas and it was in june and they went off while the sun was still up, right? Like the sun hadn't quite set when the McGuigan-Crews fight took place on the undercard.

And Barry, being Irish, basically has the complexion of the inside of a potato, right? Like he suffers heat stroke during the fight and sort of wilts in the 14th and lost his title in a huge upset. So I quoted Burt Sugar saying that if McGuigan's manager had got him the corner in the shade, he would have retired undefeated.

And that was grounds for libel in Ireland and the UK. His manager, Barney Eastwood, saying that this insinuated that he was incompetent. And anyway, so now they wanted me to fly to Ireland to testify. And they wanted Bert Sugar to go too. Right. And on the advice of counsel, I did not go. In fact, I hadn't been paid for the story, right?

I never had heard anything. I think it's sort of on them to get stuff like this libel checked right and in fact barney eastwood had successfully sued barry mcguigan for libel for his memoir had successfully sued the bbc for libel wow yes so you're dealing with a highly litigious character and you didn't send it to a libel lawyer i sort of i sort of absolve myself of blame on this one okay so you never actually uh had to pay any remuneration or like you never had to pay a penalty or anything you're still like on the lam is that can you go to dublin like i can't i can't i i went to uh i went to belfast this was 2000 this was this was a couple years after wow and i managed to get uh i went to the

library in belfast and i found uh i found a copy of the story in their newspaper archives. And in my bio note, it said, Gare Joyce is an American sports writer. There you go. Thank you. You guys are just killing me here. So long as Barney Eastwood is alive, I can't really go there. How old is Barney now, approximately?

He's around 90. Okay, well, any day now, you can, yeah. He's going to outlive us, right? And the funny thing is, he was also a bookmaker, right? You'd think it's hard to libel someone who's a bookmaker, right? No aspersions, I'm casting on professional bookmakers but man that's uh that's a bonus story so we're in for a treat here but whoops let me uh get my audio right here okay here we go all that effort has this been all this effort is this on yeah it's on

i gotta ask you a couple of things here. Okay. I think I had the old version, your first visit. This is the version we all know and love. The theme from Beverly Hills, 90210. How are things going with Jason Priestley and his TV show that's making you rich. Is that fair to say? Tell me the truth here. I want real talk. I wouldn't say it's making me rich. It's a lot of fun. Yes, I can hold up the book.

Yeah. The Code was the novel that I wrote back in 2011-12. And it and the second book in the series were converted into a TV show called Private Eyes with Jason Priestley and Cindy Sampson. It's global that runs in here. Global. It is global.

And actually last year after I was here on the show, uh, I went down to New York, uh, and to the museum of broadcasting when, uh, private eyes was debuting on the ion network in the States. And,

uh, right now, I went to an event at the Museum of Broadcasting and crashed the party a bit. When they were taking questions from the crowd, I held my hand up and made like a crowd member and sort of ambushed Jason and Cindy, which was a lot of fun. And then later went to a gala that Ion was throwing. It was sort of surreal. In Times Square, seeing the flashing lights and private eyes.

It's a big deal. It's not a strip joint. Good on you. This is a big deal. And when do they film the next season? This is still going, right? So Jason has to come back and film another season? Yeah, I don't know what the sked is going to be around the 90210 point. Oh, right.

They can still do that without the late, great Luke Perry? I would think so. But he wasn't going to be in on it in the first place. Okay, okay. I would think so, but he wasn't going to be in on it in the first place. Okay. But yeah, so the reboot of that is, I think they're saying it's going to be six episodes or something like that. So they'll be working around that, I'm sure. I actually wanted to do, I was trying to write a script on spec for the show this season, and I got sidetracked by another pressing book project on top of my day job. But the series is now seen in 120 international markets.

Wow. Yeah. Good for you, man. It's crazy. It's all over Europe. I've seen it with Turkish subtitles. Yeah. It's crazy. It's all over Europe. I've seen it with Turkish subtitles. Yeah, I have my Scandinavian friends always sending me screenshots of them watching it. It's great. No, that's amazing. And whenever they do another season and Priestley's got to live in Toronto for a bit, you got to bring him on the show.

I'll do what I can. Do your best. Just tell him you got to do Toronto Mike. he'll get stickers and everything okay do it for the stickers i will do i will do what i can he is he is pressed he came out to see me do stand-up one time and i roasted him like you know wilner thin skin jason priest like very thick skin right i i he came he came out he sat right in the front and uh because and i told the host my my boss is coming from work can you can you can you move me back in the lineup right and jason walked in it's like jason priestly's your boss right and uh so i said you know everybody we have a legend of of uh 80s 90s uh tv a great talent um give it up for kirk cameron right and he was he was just great about it that's because he's he's canadian he's got a good sense of humor i i can honestly say all the time i've been around him i've never seen

anyone so accommodating. Like it's crazy. All right, then tell me, he has to do Toronto Mike. There's no more, you say, you gotta do it. He can't say no, he's an accommodating guy. That's great. Great success, Gare. I'm so happy for you.

Let's go in the time machine here. All right. On this day, 50 years ago, this was the number one song on the Billboard Hot 100. Huh? Is this taking you back? Absolutely. i used to love the fifth dimension and this is like a twofer right there's two songs kind of blended together because it's aquarius and let the sunshine in yeah

it hasn't really endured as well as it might have. It really dates it because like on The Simpsons, when they want to bring you back to like, I don't know, 1969 or whatever, this is the song they'd go to or something like that. Of its era. But yeah, so there you go. Did not play Woodstock. No, they didn't?

Were they supposed to play Woodstock? No, but they were like the mamas and papas. They were a poppy sort of confection. There used to be the fat guy as well. In the back row, fat bearded guy. I thought it was pretty cool did they have another hit like i actually don't know the answer like do they have another you know single you hear on 10 50 chum or something yes and now i'm stuck if only you had a device that

had an internet connection but uh if it comes to you spit it out but yeah this uh remember the time is brought to you by fast time watch and jewelry repair they've been doing quality watch and jewelry repairs for over 30 years closer to 40 years mike take a note to change that if you want 15 off any regular priced watch battery installation visit visit a fast time location go to fast time watch repair.com to find out where they are they have a new one in Richmond Hill. And tell them that Toronto Mike sent you. Just say you heard about them on Toronto Mike.

They'll give you 15% off your watch battery installation. So care if you have any jewelry or watch repairs required. I know a guy. They do good work. My Prince Albert ring would be the only. Oh, Prince Albert. Okay. I know what that is. Oh, here comes the second part. So that Prince Albert. Okay. I know what that is.

Oh, here comes the second part. So that was like Aquarius and then it's like let the sun shine in. I can't imagine I got a lot of radio play because it's really long. But I know back then

they didn't. It can't be any longer than you've lost that loving feeling, right? And that was a four minute single. Yeah, this one I think is longer. Really? I think we're getting to Bohemian Rhapsody length,

but what do I know? Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. Okay, let me play a little Nana Muscuri here before we hear your 10 stories here. So a little Nana. I know you're a big Nana fan. This is the weirdest segue.

Are you a Nana Muscari fan? No, you're not a Nana Muscari fan. I went to East York Collegiate. I went to school with maybe 50 women who look like Nana Muscari. Was it the glasses? The glasses and sort of Greek census style. This is a French song with Tournesol. Camp Tournesol has provided French camps in the GTA

for tens of thousands of children ages 4 to 14. They've been doing that since 2001. They've got 15 campuses across the GTA and several overnight programs. Again, they're the largest French camps in Ontario. So if your child is Francophone, French Immersion, or has no French experience, they have a day camp or an overnight experience for them,

I urge you to go to campt.ca and learn about their day camps and overnight programs. And when you register your child for a French camp, and that's how you can witness their French skills blossoming over the summer, use the promo code Mike2019. You'll save some money and you'll let them know you heard about them on Toronto Mike. Thank you, Camp Ternasol.

It feels like we're kicking out the jams, but we're not kicking out the jams. We're kicking out stories here. So tell us, okay, I guess how should we do it? Maybe I'll do it like this. I'll make it a big deal. I'll go, number 10. You can do it sort of chronologically. Well, you numbered them.

I know, but I did put together an alternate. Well, why don't you introduce number 10, but make sure Primetime Sports is the closer. Yes. No, I've got my. Have you ever seen my handwriting? I think you showed it to me maybe at the Hebsey event. Yeah, that's right.

I have seen it for sure because I've had nightmares about it. It's very small. Do you want to hold it up to the camera? I don't know. Show the world that you have a very small font size. I don't know that really captures it. That's really amazing. That must, like, a psychoanalyst

would have a field day. This is like a I know. It's an organized mind. And my missus is complete scrawl, right? Where does that opposite end that way? Oh, you're Susan. Is that your Susan? That's my Susan.

I met Susan at TMLX2. You did. You did. She's way too good looking for you. Absolutely. There's no doubt about that. I am not going to find this lineup. Damn.

I was going to start you with great practical jokes, but... No, what about poorest kid at Upper Canada College? Okay, yeah, you're the boss, my friend. That's sort of like the chronological one. Okay. So my father was an auto mechanic, right? And he was, in fact, his one major client was Ken Thompson, who was Lord Thompson of Fleet.

So my father looked after Lord Thompson of Fleet's Fleet, right? And so, um, anyways, I went to, I ended up at Upper Canada College in the same class as David Thompson back in the day. Um, I am sure that I was the only son of an auto mechanic at Upper Canada College. Uh, I managed to. It's fair to say you were the poorest kid at that school. I was the only son of an auto mechanic at Upper Canada College. It's fair to say you were the poorest kid at that school. I was the poorest kid in that school. There's no doubt about that.

And my father would drop me off on his way to work at like quarter to seven every morning. I was at school two hours early. quarter to seven every morning. I was at school two hours early. And that sort of spared me the indignity of people seeing my father pulling up in an old 56 Caddy or whatever it was, a Corvair or something. This is how my kids feel

when I pull up in my rusty 99 Protege. I've got a PT Cruiser, so it's barely better, right? It's a little bit. It's an ultimate dad car. But, so I would, I only lasted a brief time at Everett County College. But in those mornings, you know, you could only not do homework so long. And so I would

wander the school. And I, you know, what could only not do homework so long. And so I would wander the school. And, you know, what you see in every Canadian high school, you see a group of seven prints, right? I mean, it's standard fare, right? And so wandering the halls one day, I saw these group of sevens. And they were originals, right? They had the original articles hanging in the halls one day, I saw these group of sevens and they were originals, right? They had the original articles hanging in the halls at Everett Canada College. Now what I was when I was

a kid and I, you know, in coming forward, telling all, I was a gifted kleptomaniac like i was incredible at boosting when when i went to a public high school i used to take orders i could i could deliver you a bike i had my father's snips to break locks and um and uh you could uh ask me for uh records i would on saturdays i would go to record world with a newspaper and just shove records in in the paper like wow i was i was a crazy kleptomaniac you'd never see it right could you because you were good at it no but could you no no no knowing me no no right i would not have guessed that no no and like i was a good student and all that but that's how it works right if you if you don't suspect me then then we're we're good right and and in fact my parents were both really good at that sort of thing as well i never had to pay get pay for gas when i was in high school because my father stole

50 gallons a week from toronto hydro, one of his contracts, right? And he would put it down his test driving, right? You're like grifters. Yeah, completely. My mother bought me tacks, and I remember she put them in a box, like CCM tacks, and she put them in a box of the cheapest skates, right? So I came by my dishonesty, honestly. And so while I was at Upper Canada College that entire time,

I was trying to think, how do I boost these group of seven paintings? There are no security cameras. That's grand larceny, but yeah, keep going. This is not like boosting records. No, no. Like I had made the big times right and it would have taken it would have taken nothing to to steal them uh i played it out in my mind i had a route all planned i could do it before like the easter holiday or march break or something like that. No, there is no one in the school, no security.

Doors are unlocked 24-7. So I could not work up the nerve to do it. I couldn't. Mostly, I mean, it was just common sense. People would notice. Like, I feel, I know that this is well before the age of, like, security cameras and all that jazz, but this is something on a wall. It's not like a record that people won't notice till some inventory.

But they wouldn't notice for a week. Right. All right. Because it was March Breakers. Yeah. Anyways, I had thought about this for several years and years after that. and years after that. Flash forward to about, I don't know if it's the late 90s or early 2000s,

all these stories broke of two pedophile teachers who were charged with abusing guys that I went to school with. And I can tell you that UCC back then was a super creepy environment right when we'd have gym class and swimming in gym class we had to swim in the nude and and there would be teachers that would come down who weren't as ed teachers to the pool while this is going on. This is the 70s, right? This is the 70s, yeah. That's remarkable. So these two predator teachers were charged and locked away. And former classmates of mine, no one in my class, but in my year year yes right in other classes in my year

uh filed a class action suit against upper canada college and to pay the damages the school had to auction off the group of seven people so it goes full circle. And you wrote about this, right? I did. I wrote an essay for the CBC non-fiction contest. And I made the long list, but not the short list. Oh, man. These are great

stories. Okay, so that was the Upper Canada College. That's the Upper Canada College. The poorest kid. Yeah. Wow. It's like an oh henry story they had to sell the group of seven to yeah it's like oh henry i still get fundraising letters from them and i'm thinking like i didn't boost the paintings right that's my contribution right that's right okay now chronologically, what's your next story here? Do you remember your stories? Yeah. I mean, just reading these short little like,

there's a fist fight with a Blue Jays executive. Well, that's high school. So yeah, I can do that one. Okay, I need to like, I almost want to tease them because we're about to hear Gearare Joyce tell us about a fist fight he had with a Toronto Blue Jays executive. Yes. So I left Upper Canada College and I went to East York Collegiate. And I guess the year or two before I went to East York, and I'm saying that as someone from East York would,

it's like York, right? East York. Before I went to East York, uh, the two time athlete of the year at school was a guy named Bob Nelson, who was a football player, a baseball player,

um, you're all around waspy jock. And so Bob Nelson would be five years older than me, six years older than me. And so he was just, you know, a couple of photos on the wall when I was in high school and, you know, talked about of photos on the wall when I was in high school and, you know, talked about as a local legend. He also, when he was in university,

he coached East York's baseball team. Not the high school team, but the summer team. And anyways, I was... the not the high school team but the summer team and uh anyways i was uh i was out at the wallace tavern drinking underage and uh the toronto or the east york baseball team was there along with their coach and i was with a woman uh i won't name her but uh anyways there ended up being a bit of a rhubarb between the one the catcher a guy named chopper as a matter of fact between chopper and i and and bob Bob Nelson came up to me. He says, if you're going to fight him, you have to fight me, right? And I said, we're on, right?

And we went outside, and I took two falls from Bob Nelson. I was there with one friend, Angionitis, and when I looked up, he was at a phone booth trying to make a date with a girl. And Bob Nelson had an entire baseball team with him. And I'm fighting the manager or the coach. So the fight rolled out into the center of the intersection at Don Lanz and O'Connor. Like literally, there are cars going by us in the center of the intersection at Donlands and O'Connor like literally their cars going by us uh in the middle of the street and uh they peeled me off him the first time and he wanted back at it having lost the first fall and the same sort of outcome again and uh the fight finished when and not like i fight i've always fought dirty

the fight finished when i jammed two fingers up his nose and made it bleed oh that is dirty yeah so uh anyways bob nelson went on to become gordash's number two in the Jays organization. Wow. So I would pass him every time that I was in the Blue Jays offices. And he knew exactly who I was. And I was just like a snot-nosed punk, like 16 years old.

But I'd done judo and I'd boxed. So I was okay. I was okay fighting Bob Nelson, giving away like 20 pounds in five years. This is like Gare Joyce's greatest hits. I feel like that's two great stories. Okay, what's the next one? And I'm naming names, right?

No, this is great. This is great. Keep it going. This is real talk personified. Let's empty the vault here. I'll be getting sued. Send all your libel notices straight to Gare, please. What's next chronological here?

You got a great one here about, well, there's one actually, one of your 10, by the way, you actually told the story on your first appearance. You're welcome to tell it again. The Nashville stand up. Oh, my God. But you're welcome to give it to us you, the Nashville stand up. Oh my God. But you're welcome to give it to us again. We'll do that one last.

Okay. Well, we're going to do it second last because prime time is last. It's okay. What about the Shamrock Tavern? You want to talk about that one? Yes. Okay. So when I went to Ryerson for journalism and I was just a disaster as a student just the worst student ever at

Ryerson I was I was five years in a three-year program and I'd have to go back for two years to finish my degree I actually couldn't finish it in one year and and I I failed magazine writing is that because you didn't apply yourself you You didn't, because obviously you're bright enough to ace Ryerson. It's, you just didn't try or you didn't care? I, you know what? I worked full time when I went to Ryerson. And so one of the jobs that I had, I was the

doorman at the Shamrock Tavern, which used to be on Coxwell between the two Girards. There's upper Girard, lower Girard. So I was the only doorman at a bar. I called it a country and welfare bar. And it sat 295 people. And I was the only doorman and I had no backup. Like my one backup was like a 60-year-old Scotsman

who was just doing all he could to, to stand up. And, uh, so that was, that was one of my, my, uh, part-time jobs. And, um, I was working, this is, I don't know if it's 84 or 85 but uh there was a beer strike and so uh during the summer like just about the worst time you could have a beer strike and uh we were known to have the last stock of beer in the east End. It was old Milwaukee, so it barely counted as a beer. So we were a high traffic bar. I don't even fully understand the beer strike. Is that just the beer store has gone,

the people at the beer store have gone on strike? And that means not even bars could get deliveries? No. Okay. No. And the LCBO had only started selling a beer at that point and old milwaukee was the only one they had and they couldn't keep it in stock gotcha so uh i was working the one night and 12 paradise riders walked, like a bike gang walked in.

And the owner of the Shamrock, he's Greek, obviously, with a bar called the Shamrock. A Greek guy owns a Shamrock. The owner said, you have to tell them that we're not serving them and they have to leave. Right. Because they're wearing colors. Right. Now, I thought long and hard about this. And I thought I could just act like I'm walking over to their table.

Right. And walk right out the door and just absolve myself of any interest. Like a life preservation yes yeah uh but i thought there has to be a way out of this right and so and when i looked at them seven of them were like dried up little turds and like two guys are a pretty good fight and then one guy would just smoke me with his you know his his prison muscles and but any of any one of them could have had a knife and so like throw all of that out the window it's all relative and so i went up and i said, guys, I've seen you in here before. You're welcome to come back.

I'll look after you if you ever come back, but you're wearing colors. That was the issue is that they were wearing gang colors. And I said, because you're wearing colors, we can't serve you. Now I'm going to turn around and I'm going to walk away away and you guys can do anything that you want to do right i've just been told this and i did that and they left and now whenever i have something that's really hard, I just say to myself, I told 12 Paradise Riders that we're not giving them beer during a beer strike. That's amazing. Yeah. Can I ask about the colors thing?

Hold on. Is that a liquor license thing? Or what is that? No, if a rival gang. Okay. No, if you're wearing a vest with the club crest on the back. Right. Those are colors.

Okay. And so if you're not wearing colors, you're not representing. But if there are rival gangs, like Satan's Choice and Paradise Riders, you're caught in the crossfire of it. Gotcha. That could go bad really quickly. So our policy was no bike no bike gang colors gotcha gotcha like the crypts and the bloods here which which tells you exactly what type of place the shamrock is that we have we have a policy about motorcycle gang colors that's right i'm the only doorman oh man man, that's great. Everything's easy after that, right?

Today, I don't think the beer strike could work because you could go straight to like Great Lakes and they brew it on site and I can't imagine you could have a beer strike like that anymore and dry up the city. But anyway, that's great. Now, do you want to go next to the Stu Hart story or the Tom Landry story? Tom Landry's a pretty good Stu Hart story or the Tom Landry story?

Tom Landry is a pretty good story. Give me the Tom Landry story. So my first travel assignment, I had to go to Dallas and Houston to do profiles of Bill Winnington with the Mavericks, Chris Schultz with the Cowboys Terry Poole with Houston Astros and I probably

this is my first travel assignment for work I really didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground I didn't know what I was doing I remember I'd set it up with Bill Winnington and I said like let's go out and we can sit down and talk he was game to do it uh somehow he wanted to go to mcdonald's

and he was in his his maverick sweats i'll never forget this and And so we grabbed a table. Now, how does a seven-foot guy get in a McDonald's table? Right, right. Right? And so I was just sort of overwhelmed looking at him doing this. And I knocked over my milkshake, and I knocked it all into his lap. Oh. I knocked over my milkshake and I knocked it all into his lap.

So my trip's already off to a shaky start at best. And he was such a good sport about it. I saw that he was here in Toronto a few weeks back. He's doing color for the Bulls. Great guy. When I went to the Cowboy Complex, though, that's where it got really difficult. I was under express instructions to make sure that I got a picture.

I had a photographer with me, but I had the photographer get a picture of Chris Schultz with Tom Landry. Anyone in the business can tell you this is virtually impossible, right, to arrange, right? At this point, Tom Landry was famous as the only coach the Cowboys have ever had. That was the line in every show. He was essentially in the state of Texas more powerful than the governor

and the senior senator. But I did not know this. And so I carried forward like on a mission to get Tom Landry. And we were getting chased out of the Cowboys complex in Irving, I guess. And I wasn't going to be denied. And so I went about the entire campus of their complex and I was going through doors, authorized officials only.

I was way out of bounds. I went into Tom Landry's office you're gonna get shot man this is uh texas i i went into tom landry's office and he just looked at me and i grabbed him by the arm and i said tom come with me wow right and he just looked up at me and he followed me he's afraid you're going to kill him. And I said, I just need a picture of you with Chris Schultz. I walked him out to the field. If you could have seen the look on Chris Schultz's face, right?

It was like, oh my God. Like I have got Chris Schultz into the soup and got Landry and Schultz posing very uncomfortably together. But you got the pick. Got the pick. Amazing. Right? Who are you working for at this time? I was working for a sports magazine called MVP that was published here by the outfit

that used to do the Maple Leaf program and CFL programs. And next thing you know, Chris Schultz is cut. Oh my God. Not while I was there. Are you still friendly with Chris Schultz? No. That's why. Probably.

I did stay in touch with him for a couple of years after that. And we had like one mutual friend. And the last time I contacted him, he was ice cold. But that's a great story because, yeah, in Texas, it doesn't get any bigger than Tom Landry. I mean, I just know the hat. Like I come in at the tail end of the Landry era, but the famous hat. end of the Landry era, but the famous hat.

I think it would be easier to hook Trump in the White House. I need you over here. You have a chance. Tom Landry, there was a glow around him.

Do you want to do the Stu Hart story or the Larry Murphy story first? And then there's also the Toronto Sun story. The Toronto Sun story. Give us the Toronto Sun story. This one I was really wondering about, but I'm going to commit to it. You want names? Yeah.

And if one of the names is Steve Simmons, that's fine. Just let's hear every detail. I have to really commit to this one. Okay. Let's hear every detail. I have to really commit to this one. Okay. So when I was at Ryerson, I got a job at the Toronto Sun,

first as a copy boy, back when they had copy boys. And then I got a job as the night editor. So I sat by the police radios from midnight to 7 in the morning, or 11 to 7, something along those lines. Just got awful midnight shift. Right. Thankless job. I was told this will set you up well for a career in newspapers. So I got completely snuckered on.

so I got completely snuckered on that. Now, to stay awake, I would drink coffee machine coffee. I think it was 15 cents at the time, and it was just gut rot, all right? I would drink one an hour like through a shift and I was the only one in the Sun building at 333 King Street East the only other person in the building for the duration of my shift

for the entire shift was a security guard and you can ask veterans the duration of my shift, for the entire shift, was a security guard. And you can ask veterans when Simmons or one of those guys comes in here. You can ask. Terry Koshon is coming over next week. Okay, so I don't know if Terry goes far enough back. But Buffery will come on again. Guys from the 80s will know.

The security guard was blind. Wow. They had a blind security guard and he had the entire floor grid memorized for every floor of the building and it was one of those turnkey situations that he checked in with a turnkey so uh like he would walk by me and and unless he heard me breathing he wouldn't know that I was there. I almost want to stop and just, like, take that in. Like, isn't that, like, a mandatory prerequisite? Like, especially back then, like, maybe today you can't discriminate. I don't know, but isn't being cited a mandatory prerequisite for a security guard?

It seems pretty progressive. I just imagine it was a cost saver is what I think it was. So he was the only one in the building for the duration. At 6 a.m., about 5.30, 6 a.m., the cleaning lady would come in and she would mop the halls, do the bathrooms, various little custodial duties on, I guess we were on the second floor. Yeah. And that was the only other human interaction that I would have,

say hi, for the duration of my shift. Now, if you're drinking a cup of that coffee every hour for seven hours, it has a certain effect on you. But i am tied to the police radios i cannot leave the police radios i have to make my calls to fire and ambulance and and different divisions and and if something sparks up on radio i have to hear it if there's a fire get a photographer there wake someone up out of bed dispatch them there i've heard every excuse in the book um probably by some people who've been on your show um so that's that's sort of my thankless job and my my job revolved around the 6 a.m. occurrences. It's at 6 a.m. over the PA system to the different newspapers and news organizations at Metro headquarters,

which used to be on Jarvis. We would get a reading of the night's occurrences, if there were any busts, if there was anything that went down. And we would get an update. And you had to stick around for that. That was live. There was no faxes, no texts, no nothing. You had to hear it and take note of it. So I was hanging in this one morning until 6 a.m.,

and my gut is just busting. I'm in dire straits from all this coffee. And so I hung on as long as I could. And nothing had happened. Took my notes and I ran to the men's room. And when I got to the men's room, I could see the cleaning lady's bucket holding the door open. Right.

And I thought, I'm not, I'm not going to make it. Right. I'm not. So I went to the women's bathroom. Right. Right. In the women's bathroom, there was only two

stalls. There was only two stalls. And so I, I took a seat, right? And out of habit, I locked the door behind me. And I'm looking after things. And about 30 seconds later, I hear click, click, click. And it's the sound of high heels on tiles so i do what anyone else would do i lift my feet

so that you you don't know but there's only two stalls. Right. Right. Right. And thankfully, the other person who had walked into the women's room became my neighbor. And I can see the linen drop around these patent leather high heels. You're really loving that I'm telling this story, right? I'll skip a little detail here. I hold my breath and I'm thinking like if one other person walks in here, I'm fired and I'm probably charged, right? My neighbor did her business and left the bathroom. And I ran out and I brushed by the blind security guard. Right.

Who probably couldn't, he certainly must have thought I came out of the men's room rather than the women's. And I made it back to my desk and I just cowered, like I covered up, right? You know, God knows, I just, I figured I'd made it free and clear. And I'm sitting tucked away off to the side and all of a sudden I hear click, click, click. I hear the same high heels coming across the floor of the newsroom, and I'm out of sight here. And sure enough, a head peeks around the bulletin board at my desk, and I hear, could you tell me when Bob Burt comes to work?

Right? And I just went. And it was Barbara Emile. I'm embarrassed to tell you. I don't know that. Do I know? I should know this name, right? Conrad Blotsworth. Yes, okay. I was going to tell you. I don't know that. Do I know? I should know this name, right? Conrad Blacksworth.

Yes, okay. I was going to say. We have to dumb it down for my audience. Yes. I shared a bathroom with Conrad Blacksworth. I was wondering the whole time, is he going to name her? And is he going to out her?

And that's great. That's great. I don't think it's libelous. And it was an accident. By the way, I was told by great. I don't think it's libelous and it like it was an accident. By the way, I was told by my lawyer because I was threatened with a libel suit that if I tell the truth apparently that you can't be found

libelous if you tell the truth. You're good to go. I mean, I think that she was invading my space as much as I was hers. Oh my god, okay. Now was hers. Oh, my God. Okay. Now we need a palate cleanser now.

What's a good palate cleanser? Not coffee. Not coffee. Oh, shit. How about, do you want to do the Larry Murphy one now, or do you want to do the Stu Hart one now, or do you want to do the Practical Jokes one now, which is another office story, maybe less.

Yeah, let's. The one thing I'd say about larry murphy right i mean and this is a common deal that you'll hear with um a common complaint that you'll hear about sports writers that you don't know what life is like for those guys. You don't know what it takes. You don't know the pressures they deal with. All of that. It was a strange deal, but I became good friends with Larry Murphy

when he was in Toronto. We had daughters exactly the same age. And we got talking one day and I said, I take my daughters to the petting zoo at Riverdale, whatever. We just sort of connected.

It was great. I remember I told him I was covering the Memorial Cup up in Peterborough, and he played in Peterborough. And so he said, well, if you're going, you know, let me know and we'll go up together, right? And so I gave him a ride up in my Rabbit. I had a Rabbit at the time, just like all these great dad cars.

And the seat was all the way up and larry's a big dude and he wouldn't ask me how to put the seat back right just i made him sit uncomfortably for an hour and let him know that you can push that back a bit and they they weren't going to let him in at the memorial cup even though he's like a hall of Famer who played for the Peets and they go, we're trying to focus on this year's players or whatever. Anyways, but Larry and I, we would have play dates with our daughters and you don't know what it's like to get booed by people when you're out with your five and three-year-old. Like that's pretty nasty and i saw that like we would take them for oh you know we we would we would take them to

mcdonald's for a milkshake or something like that and like you just and it didn't even feel really good natured. Like it just, it just sort of killed me a bit with, with Larry. And I, I could read him. I could see that it, it ate him alive. That whole, okay. How long was Larry Murphy a Toronto Maple Leaf? In my mind, it was like a very short period of time, right? Wasn't it just that didn't we acquire him at the...

I'm trying to remember, did we get him at the trade deadline? He was here for 94, 95. And he was here 95, 96, but he was gone the next season. He went on the trade deadline to Detroit and won a cup. Right. As I remember as a big Leaf fan at the time, he just became like a whipping boy. And it became like a mob mentality where people are jumping on.

And I don't even think people really knew why they were booing him, but he was the guy we were going to blame for, you know. And you know what? He went to an All-Star game when he was here in Toronto, but he was playing beside Kenny Janssen. As soon as they play him beside jeff ware or rob zettler right you know someone like that i mean he's he's lit up names man yeah i remember where um yeah jeff ware's dad told me he was gonna get me fired when i was at the globe

that was one of the great you wrote some critical piece yeah his son? Yeah. Jeez. And, yeah. If you know where Jeff Ware is, it's nothing to do with hockey right now. Now, Larry Murphy, of course, like you said, he's in the Hall of Fame. He was in Pittsburgh, right? He had great years, and he ended up having more great years when he left.

But for, yeah, terrible that it's a bad look on the city, we treated larry murphy uh like as our whipping boy you know like i don't have problems and i don't think larry had problems getting booed in the arena but when you're out with like little girls i'm surprised i'm surprised because there should be there's a code like even i know the code like if you're with your kids this is no you don't this is different this is uh you you don't uh you don't boo somebody when they're with their kids. That's just, like, asshole behavior. Like, I don't know. It was funny because I remember I didn't hear it out of his mouth, but I was told this.

I think it was by Bill Berg. And somehow my name had come up and Murph had said, Garrel stick a knife in you, but you won't feel it. That's sort of like the art of my work. It's so subtle that the victims don't know. That's great. So, yeah, it's not like I cut Larry any slack or anything like that on the page, but it was, and I mean, I was, I was over in Riverdale. He was in Rosedale.

So we were like by GPS, probably three quarters of a mile apart and, and several, several realms of class or something like that. Right, right, right, right. So I'm glad to hear, though, he's a good guy. Oh, he's amazing. And you're still tight with Larry? Are you still friendly? I talked to him once or twice a year. He got married last year.

Yeah, we're still on good terms okay i feel and like he got dropped by the wings and i told him like if i hear of anything for sure i'll let you know like he was a really good commentator he should be working tell Tell me the Stu Hart story. Okay, so I pitched to Saturday Night Magazine, famous, now defunct magazine, a profile of Bret Hart. And Owen was alive at the time. This is 1992, 92, 93. Brett had just beaten Ric Flair in a non-TV fight for the title.

I think it was in Saskatchewan. He beat him. So I went out to Calgary to interview Brett. And Brett was in character. And he was all lacquered back in the shades and the outfit. Like, not what I expected. But, I mean, I got, you know, a few hours with Brett and Owen. But I spent the rest of my time with Stu and Helen, his parents. I also interviewed Jim D'Anvil Neidhart.

Okay, so it has to be 92 because I did a phoner with him during the U.S. election. And I could just hear him popping beers saying, what the fuck is an electoral college? Who has to go to college, right? Anyways, that'll be the one time I swear in this show. That's okay. That's the Bill Clinton win. Yeah.

But so I was at Hart House, the famous abode of wrestling's legendary family. And I was doing karate back then and i had uh my the middle finger of my left hand in a aluminum splint i dislocated it in a fight and so uh stew what's with the what's what's with the splint there? I said, well, you know, I do karate and whatever. And Stu said, we could shoot an angle with you. And I was like, what? An angle?

You could be the wrestling reporter, right? You know, this is like at the time of erwin r scheister and you know like the idea of a wrestling reporter i i don't see it but who am i to tell right right right right right hall of famer this is an angle and so i i was trying to convince him that this probably wasn't a good idea. And at that point, Stu picked me up, right? Stu was 72 at the time. Right. But still a bear. Like he picked me up and he body slammed me.

Oh, yeah. But not in the ring, in their dining room. In their dining room? Like on a hardwood floor. So not in that dungeon in the basement? Because I've seen like a documentary where I've seen the dungeon. Yes, no. Okay. In the dining room.

And then fell on top of me. Now, I'd done enough judo and I wrote a piece for the New York Times last December about this happening.

There would be very few reporters who would be in a position where they could defend themselves in in this case and by defend themselves i mean take a break fall like i he body slammed me but i fell just as you are supposed to if you've gone to wrestling school right uh not an insignificant art form unto itself. And so he, but he started choking me out and the room was going to black. And all I can hear is, is Helen saying, Oh buff,

leave the boy alone. And you know, Stu got off me and, and Helen just says, Oh, Buff, Stu just does that. He loves snatching people, right? And so I guess what it is, if you're involuntarily brought into like one of these deals in wrestling, you're snatched. So I was snatched by Stu Hart and Body Slam. And you have that story forevermore, which means it's well

worth it that you could break that out. I actually put it into the story, now that I think about it, back in 92, 93. I did make it in there. Okay, three more stories to go, but I want to take a moment to talk about this.

So you brought me this, but tell me what this is. This is Breaking Away. Yes. Tell us what it is. Yes, this is a book that I wrote. I helped out Patrick O'Sullivan. It's Patrick's book, not mine. His name should be in bigger type and mine much smaller.

His name should be in bigger type and mine much smaller. Patrick was a, he was the CHL Rookie of the Year his first year. He was a tremendous hockey talent. He scored the winning goal for the U.S. in their first championship win against Canada at the World Juniors. Had a pretty significant NHL career, 20-goal season with the Kings. But I had grown up with Patrick's dad. We had worked at the Coca-Cola plant during the summers when we were teenagers. And he was a dangerous guy even back then so i i i knew i knew john uh john o'sullivan

before i knew uh before i met patrick and john emotionally and physically abused patrick uh he Patrick, he ended up doing some time in jail, convicted of assaulting Patrick. And Patrick had to get court protection from his father. And it was a really tough road for him. And really, Breaking Away is only nominally a hockey memoir it's also it's it's also a book uh about ptsd and working through it and and sort of coming out the other side a better man and patrick did that and so I was proud to be involved in it uh and to play my role uh it's uh it's probably the most rewarding thing I think I've done uh I you know someone said oh it'd be a great film and I was thinking like, oh, it's so dark and sad.

I don't know. It would be a tough one. But Patrick, well, okay, I'll tell it. We did the book launch. I had to get up and make a speech about it. And I thought I was holding it together. It was just like such an emotional thing. And I couldn't get all the way through it.

And I said, here's Patrick. I walked away and Patrick got up and he said, Gare's the closest thing I have to a father. And I was like, oh God. It was just like a complete gut shot. But I think it was great that he got the message out there and Patrick's connected with a lot of people who, um, who have endured abuse, uh, by a parent or a loved one and, and got by it. Um, I know Patrick's father-in-law,

uh, after, um, came up to me and he said, you know, i now know patrick in a way that i didn't before and and uh our entire family does and so it like it was good at a micro level i think for for patrick i'm sure that he would say that and i think at a macro level it's it's had an effect and even if it only affected one other person, it was really worth doing. Breaking away. So yeah, your font size is close to Patrick O'Sullivan's. Far too close. I'm in italics. That's right.

Sort of marginalized with that. And Gare Joyce, not GB Joyce. That's some other guy who wrote the codes. That's how we sort out fiction from nonfiction. Gotcha, gotcha. And before we get back to the final three stories, including the primetime sports story, aren't you going to ask what B stands for?

Uh, I feel like I asked it last time. Uh, but, uh, tell us again. GP. It's,

it's made up. Oh, there's, it doesn't stand for anything. No, my middle name's Wayne, but GW, I didn't like,

I feel like, uh, uh, Harry S. Truman made up his middle like. I feel like Harry S. Truman made up his middle name. Like just made an S. That's right. Right. Like there's some, yeah, it sounded better or something like that. It's a placeholder.

Right. Placeholder. Right, right, right. I want to tell people about Crazy Funny, the One Brave Night Extravaganza. This is an evening of laughter, magic, music, and giving back featuring Elvira Kurt and many others. Jamie Du, who you might have heard on the one year after Gord Downie's passing,

we did an episode about the tragically hip in Gord Downie, and Jamie Dew came on that episode. He's helping to raise funds for CAMH and mental health initiatives. So that's what Crazy Funny, the one brave night extravaganza is all about. So that's Friday, May 10th, 8.30 p.m. at the Social Capital Theatre.

Tickets start at $20. And if you want to buy a ticket, and you should, it goes to Great Cause, go to ashowofstrength.com. I was hosting a show at SoCap last night. Is it your 50 years? What is it, 50 years about a cup? What is the, no, 50 years in a row with a cup.

Tell me about that again. Remind me. Before you tell me what you did last night, remind me about that show. Sure. Okay. Every spring a parade down Bay Street is the show that we're going to stage at least annually.

Now that the Leafs haven't won a cup this year, we can do it again. Right. we can do it again right and uh it stars uh david schultz in the role uh of red york right a a delusional hack sports writer uh a stretch for schultz uh who uh who has covered the leafs every year since 1967 and in this alternate universe right the leafs every year since 1967. And in this alternate universe, the Leafs have won the Cup every year. And so it's the story of 50-something Stanley Cups in a row. And it has, in our cast,

we have Jeff Samet playing Johnny Esau and Kevin McGran guests and I guest. And my friend Megan Fallenbach plays Scarlett York. I saw this at the Drake, of all places. I watched the debut of a movie that she

wrote and starred in about two pregnant women. Yes. And do you remember what it's called? Oh God, I can't remember now. But she was very funny. Oh, she's an insane talent insane talent yeah she's great we met in a we met in a one-person show class at second city uh and so we've been fast friends for a little while now we did a show together last year um a storytelling show. And we had some moments.

She came out and did the role in our stage play. We had a great turnout for that night, and we raised some money for a charity that Schultz is behind. So it was a good night. You have to come out next time. Yeah, I'd come to a social conference. There is video of it on YouTube somewhere. Cool.

And what were you doing last night there? I was substitute hosting. It was like playing opposite the Super Bowl with Game of Thrones on. So it was one of the least busy nights at an open mic that's usually hosted by Chris Siddiqui, a comic who you've seen him in lots of things like Molly's Game. I watched that. Dan Duran's in that even. There's a lot of local talent there is molly's game yes so chris is a card player who steals his scene but doesn't have a line which is hard to do in an aaron sorkin film considering that they don't have dialogue so much as characters trading filibusters but chris was great in it uh and his show on sundays is Playground and Open Mic.

And yeah, so I got to play around with some friends there. I am of the opinion, and I may be very wrong, that the actual number of people watching Game of Thrones is not as high as it seems. Like that, you know, that yes, people are making a lot of noise about being into it, but I can't imagine a show on HBO. Like the masses don't get h am i crazy to think that the the masses are they they don't see stuff on hbo am i uh i don't know

am i out to lunch here that this is because to me this is nothing like for example when i don't know the finale of like uh i don't know name a show friend seinfeld you know mash of course but you know cheers whatever it just i i feel like we we blowing up how important this is to the masses, but I, I may be way off base here. I, you know what? The only thing that I can go by with there is how many,

uh, of the, the standup comics in their twenties and thirties. Right. Are, are watching it. That, that's my closest connection to

their audience and they watch it loyally okay so they're all watching it okay yeah it's it's us we're of a certain age it misses for me well my twitter i did see at that i guess something happened last night because there was a moment it felt like when you were on twitter and joey bats uh hit the three run blast in the seventh inning and all of a sudden boom boom boom boom like like popcorn like on twitter there was a moment like not quite that extreme but there was a moment where all of a sudden it's like oh my god oh my god it's like oh i guess something happened in that show because anyway it was an event for sure okay so let's get this rocking. Gare, we have to talk now about the practical jokes.

Great practical jokes. Do you want to share a couple? Maybe one involving Craig Button maybe. Okay, so the Craig Button one. I have friends, Todd Button, the chiefly, who was head of amateur scouting for calgary and he has been predating uh predating craig uh being gm there and to this day todd's still in that position with the flames but so craig was um craig was gm in calgary and he had

on his staff a high school friend named bob atrell and bob was not the sharpest guy uh super pleasant guy a wonderful designated driver um as just sort of dodgy work habits and whatever but and uh funnily enough i have a good friend of gui boucher i don't know how that works out but um so yeah bob didn't have much of a filter and i had i had mentioned to to todd i had an idea for a practical joke that we could play on craig and that was the idea that i would write a mock story where Bob was claiming to play a bigger role in the organization than he did. A loose lips thing. Right. And that was the year the draft was in Toronto.

And it was literally the eve of the draft. and it was literally the eve of the draft. And Todd was just like, you know, you said all year you were going to do this. All year you said you were going to do it, and you haven't done it. So I went off to the, the team was staying, or the execs were staying at the Royal York. So I went in the business office of the Royal York and I quickly typed up

this, this column and I made it appear like it, the heading, uh, I made it appear like it had, had shown up in the Vancouver province, the Vancouver sun, Edmonton journal, Cal, uh, Calgary Herald. I like, it was across post media. It's in the National Post. And in this story, just a few of the memorable lines was, Craig has the corner office, but when it comes draft day, he knows to leave the work to the people who know.

Oh. Right? One of them was our chief European scout, Thomas Dudek. Or no, sorry, Thomas Jelnik. Thomas Jelnik is a good guy. European scouts are notorious for filing reports from games that they didn't go to. Not our guy, but who knows?

Yeah. Like it was just like one thing after another. And so I gave it to Todd, who just buckled over. Right? And so this was going to be a joke that he just played on Craig. But he played it on everyone in the organization. And so Peter Hanlon, their PR guy,

I see him walking through the lobby of the Royal York. I'm like, Pete, how's it going? I get one stone-cold stare, and he just turns and walks away. going i get one stone cold stare and he just turns and walks away right so they had told todd had played this on everyone but when he was doing the reveal with craig todd snuck me into the closet of of craig's uh suite at the royal york so i got i got to watch this through a crack in in the closet and hear it all play out and you and you can get craig on as as a guest and and go through this with him he'd be a good one for you i will i just remember craig was saying what the hell is Bob saying?

And I thought Gare was a friend of mine. And then the reveal. They were going to slip it under the door, under Bob's door, and just let him read it. But they were afraid what he might do. Right. That's funny he might just leave town or do harm to himself or something the problem with those is when you disseminate the joke widely and then you reveal that like half the people missed the reveal and there's some people probably right now who think that was real no it got through the it stayed within the

organization now i mean it would be twitter five I mean, it would be Twitter-fied or something. Yeah, somebody would tweet it and it would be out there. You'd never get it back. Okay, now I have a request, but you're the boss. You're in charge here. You're in command here. You did tell in great detail, and it's a fantastic story. You told the story of performing for 300 people in Nashville

when Colin Jost staggered off the stage with food poisoning. It was a highlight of your previous visit. Yeah. Are you okay if people go there for that story? Yeah, for sure. And that's good that we did the bonus story because you still got the 10 here. And I'm going to play Brian Gerstein asking you about your final story. Here's Brian.

Hi, Gary. Brian Gerstein here, sales representative with PSR Brokerage and proud sponsor of Toronto Mike. Phase one of the Gallery Mall redevelopment plan and its condos are being sold exclusively by PSR and myself in about a month. All ready to move in for 2023. Contact me now by phone or text at 416-873-0292 and I can put you on my VIP first access list for these both investor-friendly and end-user suites.

Gare, being banned from primetime sports with Bob McCowan is a badge of honour. Such luminaries like Doug McLean, Gary Bettman, Cherry Hauer, Stephen Brunt, Tim and Sid, and your buddy Dave Schultz have all faced Bob's wrath, with some returning to his good graces and back on PTS

and some not. What is your backstory on your ban, and is it a lifetime ban, or will you be granted a pardon? Now I need to step in. Gare, this is Toronto Mike. Real talk. I want all the details.

The mic is yours. Okay. So going back to the 90s, I was writing a column for the Globe and Mail. And I was an occasional guest on the fan on different shows. I did Damien's show, Razor's Edge, a few times. And I'd done a show with Shulman. Joe was showman, and Brent was the usual winger on primetime.

If he wasn't around, I occasionally would come in. Not a natural deal for me. I didn't particularly enjoy it. I didn't particularly enjoy it. Uh, it's fine for what it is, but yeah, not, not, not how I'd like to spend my free time,

but good exposure. Yeah. For whatever, for, for whatever it's worth. I, it didn't mean a heck of a lot to me. So this one show,. So this one show,

this one show, the great man said, it was the time of Wayne Gretzky getting traded from LA to St. Louis. And so the great man said, could Wayne Gretzky... Oh, wait a minute. And the great man is Bob McAllen.

I gotta get into character. Is that a nickname he's given himself? Okay, that's very good. That's very good. Now I'm glad I have the live stream on Periscope. That's right. So the great man said,

could Wayne Gretzky possibly think that by his going to a mediocre team like the St. Louis Blues, he elevates them to the status of a Stanley Cup contender? Could anyone have an ego that big? cup contender could anyone have an ego that big and i said with an ego that big he should go into sports talk radio which is a funny line that's a great line well the great man took offense that I would impugn the character of other sportscasters. And that got one of the, it was sort of like Ed Ames throwing the tomahawk on the Johnny Carson show.

Yeah, I remember that. It got that kind of laugh, but there was only Jimim shaky hunt and damien in the studio shaky yeah and uh so the great man uh did not say my name uh the rest of the show and uh i was not invited back until so that's 95 yeah i'm sure i think because he goes the rain is after that so that's 95? Yeah, I was trying to think, because the rain goes after that. So it's about, yeah, I met 96, I guess. 96, right. And so I got invited, like sort of with a gun to my head,

in 2012, I guess. And it was the first anniversary of jim kelly's death so i was asked to go do the show and i and and jim would would have laughed his ass off about this because because he knew this story and and loved it Right. And, and I don't think I'm telling tales out of school. Jim wasn't the biggest fan of the great man either. The great man. Um, but I felt,

I felt obliged. Uh, I felt obliged to do it. Uh, so I went on and I can't remember who the other smiling jackal was that was that was with mccowan that day but the great man said jim had class class. And, and I, you know, I was pretty moved. Right. And I said, No, it's not that Jim had class. Right. Jim, class, you can you can get, you can make, you can acquire it. right? What Jim had was grace, right? And that's something that you can't get, right?

Now, McCowan just took this as you, plural. Not necessarily how I intended it. So anyways, I haven't been back. I don't see going back. I'm not sure Sports Talk Radio is really going to take off. I mean, there's definitely a list of some great broadcasters on it that are persona non gratis, like not invited on to prime time but the funny thing is like it's their studio is right beside my my office right because you work for sports net right and so i walk by there every

time i go to the bathroom you know and i do not press my nose up against the window i'm you know i'm i will do anything within reason for for sports net and uh i don't see myself as an asset for primetime sports last week i had mr jerry howarth on this show okay and i asked him on the recording i asked him uh when you were because you know jerry had a very rogers made a lot of noise about jerry's retirement any everything rogers i'm sure did you write about it by any chance i mean i was like but but lots of people writing about it on lots of shows you know jerry howard who had been calling games on that station forever was retiring and there was it was conspicuous by its absence that Jerry was never on primetime sports in this time.

And I asked Jerry why he wasn't on primetime sports. And the answer, because Jerry, he's a classy guy, but his answer was he was never asked. He was never asked to go on primetime sports. And I can read between the lines, I wasn't born yesterday, that Jerry's on this list too. There's some great, great broadcasters in this city

on the banned list, if you will. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that I'm banned. I've just never been asked. No, but it's equivalent. I mean, you've never been asked. Jerry's never been asked. No, I've only been asked when my friends have died. Too many of my friends are alive for me to go on.

Right. Interesting. Also, I'm friendly with Mike Wilner, who you made that joke about at TMLX2, which I think he has a good sense of humor, actually. But he didn't contact you after that. You just saw his face after. I think I saw his face, too, because I went, right, okay,

well, how's Wilner going to react to this joke? And it was more of like i saw him do like he mouthed the word ouch like you know ouch but i didn't i don't think he uh i don't think he took it too harsh but he did when he was on this show what are you talking you know i can't remember you would please remind me i forget did he he said it was mean-spirited okay you know i'm sorry i forget yeah there's been so many Wilner appearances, I forgot. You're glossing over this. Real talk, but you have to remember the real talk. Real talk at my end.

If I remember. Damage control expenditures. My point is, where am I going with this? Have you ever heard? I've never heard Mike Wilner in primetime sports in all his years. That seems conspicuous by its absence, too. Like, there was a Blue Jay hype train of 2015 and 2016 when anyone who had anything to do with anything Blue Jays was on primetime sports, but Wilner was never on primetime sports.

So there's, it's interesting. The certain people are just not asked because we're on a list. That's all. I don't know anymore. Yeah. I mean, and people have come and gone out of favor,

you know, I don't doubt that I was like a crappy guest. Probably. I, I don't know. Um, I mean, there's far worse guests than you.

I hear getting repeat performances on primetime sports and, and I find you to be, uh, maybe you're too clever for sports writing. Like you're a sharp guy, interesting guy, good sense of humor. I think you're an ideal talk show host. I mean, ideal guest for a talk show. But what do I know?

Not so sure about that. They're sure about it, that's for sure. Well, and I do, as I recall, I had Brunt on and Brunt was no longer on Primetime Sports at the time. And I asked Stephen Brunt, I said, Stephen, any chance you'll ever be back on Primetime Sports? Never say never. No, he said, oh, I think he might have said a never say never, but it was, I think it

was more of a not likely, like it was really leaning on the whole, like I'd be surprised. You're sure he hasn't been back since then? Well, since then he's been named as a co-host. So this is my point. Who knows what the future holds? Maybe we'll hear you there again. But it doesn't sound like you actually want to go on that show. Yeah.

I don't think I'd be very good because I don't think I really want to do it. Maybe you'll replace Bobcat when he retires, and that'll be the big surprise. I do have a good story about the Bobcat name. Let's hear it okay i'll bring this nice and down sure so so um i remember i was doing a book that Bob McCowan was doing with David Naylor, like 100 Ways I'm Going to Fix Hockey or something like that. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah.

Yeah. And, yeah, Bob wrote that with Naylor and possibly read it. wrote that with nailer and possibly read it and uh but my i remember my editor telling me you know uh we were we were coming up with a campaign and we want to use we want to use bob in the promotion and he said i refer to myself as a bobcat that has been put on me by other people I do not do that and in my energy oh sorry I'm sorry to offend. And so the editor called the castle, and His Majesty wasn't at home, but Her Highness answered and said, no, Bob isn't here,

but you can email him right I just saw where this is going yeah what email should I use she said it's Bobcat at that's fantastic

Garrett I'll delete all the other stories because that's the winner right there. That's fantastic. I don't refer to myself as that. His email is bobcatat. Garrett, always a pleasure. Yeah, it was great. We'll have you back and I'll see you at TMLX3.

I'll get it right next time. And that brings us to the end of our 458th show. You can follow me on Twitter. I'm at Toronto Mike Gare. You are Gare Joyce NHL.

Yes. Even though you write about other stuff, right? But mainly that was that was put on me. Bobcat at Gare Cat.

Gare Cat. Oh, man. I got to listen back to that whole Bobcat story. It was. Garecat. Oh, man. I got to listen back to that whole Bobcat story. It was priceless. Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery, and I've never met Bobcat,

and I've asked him on the show a couple of times, and he said, no, thank you. The 12th of never. Our friends at Great Lakes Brewery are at Great Lakes Beer.

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