Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Humble Howard: Toronto Mike'd #36

Episode Date: May 1, 2013

Mike welcomes Humble Howard from Humble and Fred to discuss his radio career, his relationship with a much younger woman, whether he'd consider getting remarried and the risks of getting a vasectemy at this point in his life.

Welcome to the 36th episode of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything, often with a distinctly Toronto flavour. I'm Mike from torontomic.com. Joining me is Humble Howard Glassman from the Humble and Fred show. And hosting this audio file are the good people at Core Fusion. Welcome Humble. So that's it's it this is it we're doing it now this is live uh you're very loud on my headphones do you want me to turn down your

headphones no you can turn my headphones off that's cool how do i turn them up is that up yeah this is up there oh there that's better Okay. Thank you very much, Mike, for having me in on the heels of my dear friend and mentor Fred Patterson a couple weeks ago with a wonderful appearance on the podcast. Fred was guest for episode

34. This is 36. Who was guesting on episode 35? It was just Rosie and I, my regular co-host. So how does that work? So Rosie comes up here and you and her and Monica. Well, Monica, no, she has her own podcast. Monica has her own podcast.

In her shoes. This is like a miniature version of Pod Almighty. This is actually a maximum version of Pod Almighty. This is actually a maximum version of Pod Almighty. It's like anyone in this apartment can have a podcast. You're actually, Stan, your dog, wants a podcast. We're going to work on a deal. I saw an old guy leave the building as I arrived with a, pushing a little walker.

I thought, is he the podcast before me? He talks about World War II and how they liberated the Netherlands and so forth. Can I ask you one question right off the bat? Because I just listened to your podcast before you arrived. Are you high right now? I am not high. You're not high. There's no lingering buzz from last night.

I don't know what happened last night. I actually even said this to my girlfriend. I always feel weird saying girlfriend. I think at a certain age, there should be another transition. Your better half, you're supposed to say.

My better half. Well, when you're younger, I think up to like 35, you can have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and then I think after that, you need to have a there's a, or you're easy because it's a fiancé, right? I don't like that term. I actually call her girlfriend because I think it sounds pretentious, like my

fiancé. I think... But you're almost... What are you, close? You're in your mid-40s? What are you? I'm 38. So when you get after 40, though, wouldn't you feel weird? I mean, she's going to be your wife. She'll be my wife in like 10 minutes. We almost got the marriage license today, actually.

But it almost happened today. Anyway, yeah, I mentioned on the podcast last night, for some reason, people have heard our Humble and Fred show. I have this sounder that's kind of an Ian Drury takeoff. It's Sex and Hash and Wine and Night Tall. And I played that today because for some reason it all happened last night. And I even said to Amanda this morning, I said, can you? Because she didn't smoke, by the way.

I said, just remind me, why was I smoking hash last night? And she sort of laughed. I think part of it was I was, as I explained to Fred, I was transporting it from one place to another. You thought, what the hell? I thought, what the hell, you know? We'll get to some more of that. I wanted to start, if you don't mind.

We want to get to some more of what? Hash talk? Yeah, some more hash talk. Have you ever smoked any? Yeah, but not since I was like 19, maybe 20. Did you really? Yeah. I used to go to my buddy's cottage in Huntsville,

and we spent the whole weekend smoking hash. So this is literally teenager. I would never have thought that you did that. It's been a long time. Given the state of your hair now, you can expect anything. I promised Monica I'd get a haircut before the wedding. So that's the promise I've made.

Am I taking you off topic? Well, I'm going to guide you. Just pretend I'm Gian Gomeschi. I'm going to just guide you through. I want to start at the beginning. Just kind of walk through how this prairie Jew gets into radio. So you were born and raised in Moose Jaw. I was.

So just help me understand how you ended up hosting a radio show. Well, you know, my dad was sort of an actor type of dude, even though he made his living as a menswear, he owned a menswear on Main Street in Moosechuck called Ideal Menswear. But my dad, after World War II, the Canadian government gave all veterans their tuition for wherever they wanted to go. And my dad went to a very prestigious acting school in New York City called the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I say this by way of giving you a little background that my dad, I was sort of born into this family where, you know, sort of drama and acting and, you know,

performance was valued at some level. And my dad's three favorite things were sort of drama, golf, and hockey. And I did all three. And so I, you know so I never really thought about a career in radio. I just wanted to do something. I really wanted to be a comic. But in Moose Jaw in 1975 and 6, I didn't really understand how the world worked very much. And the only kind of entertainment outlet that I had heard of was the local radio station.

And it happened to be a very good one. And it was owned by this company that's no longer in existence called Moffat Communications. And a lot of people that wanted to work no longer in existence called Moffitt Communications, and a lot of people that wanted to work in the bigger markets that Moffitt owned were brought into Moose Jaw and sort of trained in the Moffitt way, and I just loved this local radio station. And not having an idea of whether you could move to a different city

and go to an acting school or anything, and I didn't really think that's not really what I wanted to do, like go to an acting school or anything. And I didn't really think I, that's not really what I wanted to do. So I literally fell into radio as one of the, an afterthought at the end of high school. Because you wanted to perform.

I wanted to perform doing something. And I looked up to this guy that worked at the local radio station. He was really funny and a rock and roll disc jockey. And I thought, you know, I could maybe like that. And it turned out that I had a proclivity for it because I started in 1977 doing all nights and weekends. And by 1980, I was doing a radio show in Vancouver. By 1981, I was doing the morning show at a radio station called CFOX in Vancouver,

where for years, Larry and Willie were the big time Humble and Fred morning show. So you're in Vancouver, where for years Larry and Willie were the big-time Humble and Fred morning show. So you're in Vancouver, you said, and then how did you end up in Montreal? What happens between that Vancouver stint and the Montreal gig where you're with, I guess, with Jeff Lumby? Yeah, well, I mean, it's a fairly circuitous route, but I went to Vancouver and I started doing stand-up, and I wanted to be a comic, as I mentioned, and I started

working in comedy clubs. One of the guys I worked with early on was Ryan Stiles, the big tall guy on Who's Line? Of course, yeah, of course. Drew Carey Show. Yeah, Drew Carey Show. And I ended up wanting to quit radio. And then I got this offer to go to Calgary.

So I did, and then I put this sort of stand-up career on hold, but I still did stand-up on weekends. I performed at a local comedy club with the guys and kids in the hall at the place called the Loose Moose Theater. And then I did quit radio in 1985, moved to Los Angeles, did stand-up for the better part of four years, three and a half years. And then after doing it, I just kind of got exhausted by the lifestyle,

and I ended up getting an offer to go to Montreal to come back to radio. And that's how I ended up with Jeff Lumby. And then that was 1988 and a half, and then a year later, 1989, a good friend of mine and Jeff's came to Montreal and offered Jeff and I the morning show at CFNY. And Jeff, who is still one of my dearest friends now, and the morning man at a station in Kitchener, Jeff didn't want to go.

And I left this meeting and I called Danny when he got back to Toronto and I said, you know, it's obvious that Lumbee doesn't want to go, but I would love to. I'm going to pause you right there. So when you're in Montreal, you create this parody song called Habs to the Top, as I recall. You've always hated it. So don't pretend now that you don't hate it.

I do hate it, but I don't have Habs to the Top. I just have Jays to the Top, which I'm probably ahead of myself because I believe we should probably let the story get there, I suppose. So you let me know when you get to the station that you're at when you record J's to the Top. Why do we have to do that?

I thought we were going to have an insightful conversation. You just want to play one of my crappy parody songs. Yeah, I just want to start it. Because it's one of the worst things. Maybe I'll play it right now. You think it's one of the worst things you've ever heard? Yeah, I just want to play it. Okay, what happened was Jeff and I did this parody

called Haps to the Top, and it's a parody of a song. i can't remember the name of the song it's a horrible song yeah and i've i did look it up at some point yeah it's all i can't remember what it's called either but and so when i got to toronto and fred and i were you know doing some stuff i i basically ripped off myself with the parody of the parody i had done. And ever since you discovered it, you have hated it. And by the way, that smell, you smell that? Yeah, that's Stan the Boston Terrier. It's just unbelievable. It comes out of his ass.

I'm sorry, Monica. I was going to completely ignore it like the professional I am. I'm sorry. Okay, so go ahead and play the crappy. Yeah, we'll just play a tiny bit. Don't worry. We're not going to. You just hate this so much.

I just want to let it start here. Baltimore and Minnesota, San Diego and Seattle, Montreal and California, Texas, Detroit and St. Louis, Houston, LA, Cincinnati, Boston, New York and Toronto, Kansas, Cleveland, Frisco, Philly. All these teams are really willing. Jason Rangers and the Yanks and nicknames of the major ranks of Brewers. A little more. Wait until it goes to the chorus.

I found your mic too loud. All the games are finally in the series is the one to win. Wait until it goes to the chorus. I found your mic too loud. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Mike. So I just wanted, I don't think the Humble and Fred fans of today remember that little ditty, so I thought we should share it with them all.

No, I'm sure they don't. I don't even know how many times they would have played. It was actually, it showed up on a Jay's... That's how I got it. The 91 Jay's hits or something. That's where I got it. Okay, sorry to derail you, but I didn't want to let this moment pass. So you're in Montreal. You get an offer

for you and Jeff Lumby to come to Edge... whatever. It was called CFNY. Right, there's no Edge yet. And they want you to be the morning team, and Jeff Lumby to come to Edge, whatever, it was called CFNY. Right, there's no Edge yet. And they want you to be the morning team, and Jeff says no. But you, I guess you say yes. Well, you have to understand, at the time, you know, I was a pretty young morning guy when I started. In 1981, I was 21 years old, and I was the morning man at a radio station in Vancouver. That would be like being the morning guy at Q. I was the youngest guy on the air staff probably by 10 years.

And I kind of, like I said to you, I started off not really thinking of radio as a career. And then I sort of, having fallen into it, I found that I had an affinity for it. And I seemed to do okay. And then lots of people in the industry sort of knew me. When I quit radio in 1985, I got a call from Q107, actually. My very first conversation with Gary Slate was, he said, Hi, I'm Gary Slate. I run Q107 in Toronto. You know, so-and-so told me about you.

He said, Are you quitting that radio station or are you quitting radio? And I said, Why? He said, Well, we'd like to have you come out and, you know, talk about working out here. And I said, No, I'm getting out of the business. So I'd always thought in the back of my mind, if I ever got back into radio, the one market I'd like to be in is this one. You know, you say what you will about Vancouver and Montreal and Winnipeg,

they're all great radio markets. In fact, the irony is some of those markets, like Calgary and Edmonton, and those secondary, well, they're major markets in Canada, but they're more competitive than Toronto. My point is, at the time, I finally got back into radio, and within a very short amount of time, I thought, wow, this is a great opportunity to go work in the biggest market in the country.

And when the offer came, it was for Jeff and I, and then this guy Patterson would have been our sports guy, and there wouldn't have been a Humble and Fred show. Because that's what Fred did at the Pete and Geet show, I guess. Exactly. And he'd also been, in between Pete and Geet and me, he'd worked with Anthony and Randy Taylor and another guy, I think. And Fred went from being kind of the sports guy to, with Anthony,

a good sounding board sort of sidekick. In fact, probably started to grow more and more as the one constant at that radio station in the morning. So it's kind of fortuitous because the Jeff and Howard show, as it was called, would not have done... I don't think it would have worked on that radio station. Not that the Humble and Fred show worked right away, but our sensibility, Fred and mine, Fred and mine?

Fred and mine? Mine. Mine. The way that we approached the radio show was a little bit different than Jeff and I did. Jeff's incredibly, he's a really good radio guy. He does really good radio, and Fred and I sort of didn't really have,

that wasn't our thing. We wanted it to be a little more organic, a little less planned. Like Jeff's one of the best people I've ever worked with when it comes to planning bits. And, uh, let me turn my phone off. I don't know who that is. Um, planning bits and then like you say this and I'll do this character voice and that was great, you know? And, um, but that wasn't what we did. And so it was kind of fortuitous that Jeff didn't want the gig because, you know, I found wasn't what we did. And so it was kind of fortuitous that Jeff didn't want the gig because, you know, I found a kindred spirit in Fred and sort of the way that we approached it almost from day one. So I called the guy and said, listen, if you're still interested

in me, I'd like to talk about that. And he had the brainstorm, Danny Kingsbury is his name, about, well, why don't you and Fred do a show together? And that's how it was born. And you liked Fred right off the bat? From that initial meeting, you... Fred made me laugh almost immediately. In fact, he tells the story of me driving him from the airport to my apartment in Montreal. And driving like Montrealers do. And it sort of frightened him a little bit.

And he was sort of kidding me about that. And I thought he was funny right away. I tell you what I do remember is that we spent a couple hours together, the three of us. It was basically, hey, could you see yourselves working together? And we were both like, we can't see any reason why not to. You know, first impressions are generally accurate. And I think our first impression of one another was that, yeah, there wasn't any reason we wouldn't be able to do this. Cool.

I don't know if I've answered that. No, that's exactly. I know. Articulately. I just feel nervous because I know that the Fred show was just so well received. It's a rating bonanza as well. So there's a lot of pressure.

Because I'm going to put your numbers side by side in real time. I'm so insecure. I feel pressure every day just from being alive. Remember what I told you once. Fuck the numbers. I know. They don't mean anything. What numbers? Exactly. What numbers?

I think... Well, you think your numbers are bad. Take a look at my numbers. I think your advice to me was, don't ever talk about numbers. No more numbers. Fred told me that when you got to 102.1, you were not very well received by the staff there at the time. Do you remember it the same way? Yeah.

It was a bit weird for me, because I had been in sort of mainstream radio stations. I'd worked at a rock station, I'd worked at a rock alternative station in Calgary, I'd worked at a middle AC station in Montreal, and I'd been in radio for quite some time. By the time I was 29 years old, with the exception of three and a half years of standup, I'd been doing radio for almost 12 years. And the way they did radio at CFNY, I didn't appreciate it. I don't mean that I didn't

appreciate their attitude. I just didn't get it. And I've actually talked about this on the podcast with Fred recently at humbleandfredradio.com. Over the years, I've had an epiphany or two about what a gem that radio station was that I walked into in 1989. But having no prior knowledge of the place, it didn't mean anything to me. I just thought the people that worked there were weird and kind of their attitude towards radio was more free form than I understood. And I had a little lot of anxiety around the fact, like, what have I done? I thought I was coming to, because in my mind,

I was coming to Toronto to work at this big radio station and it was out in Brampton in a strip mall. And everyone's attitude was like, hey, man, let's play what we want. And they thought me and Fred were stupid. The weird thing is, I recall the audience kind of digging us fairly quickly because we were a little bit goofy and silly

and we went off on funny little tangents. But I always thought it was an oddity that the staff really didn't like us as quickly as the audience did. And I was also, you know, 29. Sure. You're a punk. Prickly.

And you didn't last too long because I don't think you'll let me know how long you were there, but you took another gig shortly thereafter with 99.9. Yeah, I got there in 89. Right. To the Humble and Fred show. Yeah, I got there in 89 to the Humble and Fred show. And in May of 91, after having a couple years of pretty good ratings and people, like I said, it seemed our audience found us. I found you.

That's when I found you. But the audience found us before the staff kind of liked us. In fact, you know, it's funny because we're such admirers of one another, us and Alan Cross now, but he was not a big Humble and Fred fan. So, in 1991, you know, I still hadn't, you know, it was still kind of a weird place. It was a lot of up and downs and it hadn't sort of found

its next course. You know, the spirit of radio, 76-89 thing was kind of, you know, it was over. And before it got the next phase of the edge. The grunge phase. The grunge phase in 92. I got a job offer from the guy that called me in 1985, and that was Gary Slate.

And he said, how would you like to come to work at CKFM? At that time, CKFM was a pretty big radio station in downtown Toronto. And I got there in May of 91. And on the Labor Day, on the Monday after Labor Day of 91, I was the first person to ever say Mix 999. Because we changed formats and we became The Mix. I only stayed there from 1991 August until the following August, 1992, when Fred called me up and said, and here's the thing. I missed working with Fred. I worked with some great people at The Mix. Larry Fedora, Carla Collins, the woman from Derringer's show.

Maureen Holloway. The woman. Holy old guy moment. That woman with Moe, I believe. Moe. Moses. I worked with really nice people. Pat Holliday, the program director there.

But I missed working with Fred. I actually missed the dynamic of the Humble and Fred show. So when I was informed by Fred that the guy that had taken over and they were changing formats again or changing direction, what I meet with him, I was kind of like, I never wanted to go back there. Not that it was a horrible experience, but I needed to move forward. And I was making okay money, not great money, but I had sort of this sense, I'm so glad to be out of that place. But I was sort of given an idea of this new direction was going to become the edge.

And it was the early days of Nirvana and Pearl Jam and Soundgarden. It was a different feel to me. And that's how we sort of came back together in 1992. And that really was the beginning of the Humble and Fred days. About that time, I used to collect these new music search CDs from CFNY. It was Jays to the Top on it. Jays to the top on it. Jays to the top. Did not make the cut,

but there was this little clip right here. The Edge. CFNY 102.1. That's you, right? Yep. Okay, just confirm. Play that again. Man, it's very sexy.

The Edge. CFNY 102.1. There you go. So you come back. That's what a man's voice sounds like. You know what? If I may, in my defense, this is the voice I was born with. What am I going to do?

Get surgery? I'm not saying anything about you. You and Fred get surgery to fix all the everything. He's got boobs. You've got a hair loss. Surgery. That's the only time I'm even going to infer that you and Rosie have the same boobs.

Come on now. How can Monica work away with all this gold? She's got headphones on. She's listening to Bananarama or something. She's beautiful, by the way. Monica's got such a lovely spirit. I'm so into her. She's beautiful on the

inside and the outside. Great stepmom, great roommate. We're going to have a nice pasta meal, watch a Leaf game tonight, but we'll get to this. I want to catch up on the radio chronology of humble Howard Glassman. You're doing well. When you die,

this will be the bio that we'll all go to to remember your life. Okay. Assuming it's still hosted by CoreFusion. CoreFusion. So you come back. Do you want me to use some IDs for you? I would love it.

You're listening to Toronto Mike. TorontoMike.com. Hold on a second. What is going on? It's either one of my kids. I have the same phone. Monica and I have the exact same phone. The Galaxy S3.

I love this thing. The only thing it's missing. Tell me. Well, there's an app that my daughters have that's available for the iPhone called Vine. That's the little video?

Seven-second video? I haven't heard about it. And what it does is it just jump cuts. Remember, Instagram was iPhone only, and then it showed up on Android. I went on yesterday. I googled it. It's called Vine for Android and it's all about coming soon. But it's one of those things and if you're hearing about it for the first time on

Toronto Mic'd, I promise you a lot of grown-ups aren't really into apps, but this is one that you'll have fun playing with and your kids are already into it. Okay, get back to the chronology. Cool. So you're back at 102.1 which gets rebranded Edge 102.

Yep. And you have a very lengthy, successful stint. I remember waking up to you and Fred every morning of my high school career and university career, which doesn't end until 98. So literally, except for when you disappeared for a little while to go to 99.9, I listened to you guys every morning from 89 to 98. What happened in 98? I got a job, and I did tune in, but I didn't have the same time to tune in. But tell me, I think it's 2001. You'll correct me if I'm wrong, but you get an offer to move to Mojo.

Well, in December of 2000, after a pretty good run there from 92 to 2000, we used to do this bit called Number 1 in 97. We joked about the fact in the 92, 93, 94, we used to implore the audience to stay with us because we were going to be Number 1 in 97. We didn't even know what that meant. I have that album, by the way.

We put out a CD called Number 1 in 97. And the irony is in the fall of 1995, we started the campaign when I came back in 92, maybe 93, and for a couple years, it was kind of a go-to bit on the show. In the fall of 1995, we were the number one morning show, 18 to 34, men and women in Toronto.

More than CHFI, Chum FM, name it, Q107. Women too. It was us, men and women. Wow. And we came to our... We actually had this meeting. I remember very well our boss at the time was Stuart Myers. And he said, you know what, guys?

It would be better if you just never said anything. So we just continued, even though we had been long... So in 1997, we were still number one. Right. We had been number one for quite some time in that demo. And so we had that big release. Hey, we're number one. And we're number one for quite some time in that demo, and so we had that big release, hey, we're number one. And we're number one, basically.

The lady friend's calling me. Should I answer it? Sure. Hi, Amanda. Hi, I'm on Toronto Mike's podcast. Oh, what? No, it's okay. And so now we're you.

Mike and I are recording his podcast in his palatial apartment in... Where are we? Etobicoke. I'm still in Etobicoke. I'm sorry, hon. I didn't tell you where I was going. Oh, that's okay. Stan's here farting underneath me.

Nice. Okay, well, I will talk to you later then. You know I love you, right? Yes. Sam and Hannah are coming to Oakville tonight, so Stan's going to have a play date with Stella. Okay, are they coming for dinner? I'm actually asking them about that.

I'm not sure if they're coming from Ottawa, so I'm not sure what time they're going to get in. Okay, well, I'm not going to be back until 7, so I can make them dinner if you want. Okay, I'll let you know. Okay, love you. Have fun. Bye.

Bye. Amanda? Yeah? Are you going to RSVP every day I check that mailbox for returned RSVP notes and I haven't seen yours yet I told him I said it's been there for a week and a half

I can't wait to see you there that'll be amazing okay bye honey I gotta go now talk to you later. Bye. Love you, bye. Love you, too. I thought I'd turn my phone off. So how does the mojo situation arise? So here's the thing. In

2000 December, we were at the Chorus Christmas Party. And a guy named John This is ridiculous. Not John Hayes. John Hayes is the guy that fired Stern. Also was our boss

for a while. Anyway, John, President John... Fred will laugh when he hears this. I can't remember the guy's name. Doesn't matter. The president, of course, walks over to us at the Christmas party and says, humble and Fred, because we're making the money. I am telling you, we got paid okay, but

not commiserate with the amount of money our morning show made for Chorus Radio for nine or ten years. Yeah, that's always the way. But I'm serious. We did make the money. And John says, how would you guys like to be part of this new AM station? We're launching. It's Mojo Radio. It's going to be part of this new AM station?

We're launching. It's Mojo Radio. It's going to be a cool rock and roll talk station in it. And he said, basically, it'll give you guys a place to go for the rest of your careers. The thinking being, I was 40. Fred was 43. You know, maybe being on the edge at that age, you know, into our 40s, wasn't going to work for them. Although, you know, fast forward to Stern's 59 years old, talking to the same people that we would have been talking to, you and guys in their 40s. And anyway, that's a whole other story. So we think, great, you know, the guy,

this is the president of the company is basically saying, guys, this is going to be a job forever. And it was a great idea. And Fred and I also, I'm not sure if he talked about this, we just wanted to talk. It appealed to the idea that, you know, that we would be morning guys, cool radio rock morning guys that didn't play music. And so in the spring of 2001, we left the edge. Blundell came in, we went to Mojo and within, you know, part of the problem was it was a great idea poorly execute and um you know it kind of set us on a you know so any regrets leaving uh 102.1 for 640 on the am dial you know i i uh i can't say i it's it's easy back. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. At the time, going from 640 back to FM on the mix seemed like a great idea.

The offer was outrageous. Yeah, I was going to ask you about that next. Well, no, but I'm saying, do I have any regrets? No. I mean, sometimes I'll daydream and wistfully think, you know, even now, at age 53 and 56, we could be the morning guys at the edge. If they hadn't screwed up Mojo, we could still be the morning guys at 640. And in fact, you know,

had they executed and stayed the course with that format, you know, maybe they wouldn't call it, maybe the name talk radio for guys would have faded away, but it was a rock and roll idea. There were some really good people there and we would have grown into, guys would have faded away, but it was a rock and roll idea. There were some really good people there, and we would have grown into, it would have been like, you know, the kind of niche format that the fan is. It would be like the fan for guys that didn't like sports. So we did that for a couple years.

They started to water down the format, and it became clear to Fred and I that, you know, what happened was a couple of things. Around the time we were renegotiating our contract with Chorus, the format was starting to get kind of shitty. The guy we worked for was a dit, a dweeb, a douche. A lot of things that start with D. And our contract for the first time in seven years, because we had had a five-year deal, then it got re-upped somewhere early in the first couple of years. And so it ended up being seven

years where we had been under contract. And so for the first time in seven years, our six-month out clause passed. And because they were so sure we were going to re-sign, they never even bothered. They just kept putting it off and, oh, we'll get to you guys. It seemed like we'd become... We weren't feeling the love, as the kids like to say. So when the mix came along, basically the inquiry was, are you guys available? And I said, well, actually, for the first time

in a long time, we are available to talk, and that's how we took that job. Now, Fred will tell you he wishes it didn't happen, and in a lot of ways, maybe I do too, but at the time, again, on the day we signed that contract, it seemed like a pretty good idea. And this is like

a five-year deal. No cut, five-year, every day, guaranteed for more money than anyone would ever think people could make in radio. Not Derringer money, but certainly for us, you know, if you'd

asked us on the day we signed that, if you'd told us on the day we signed that, that within three years and four years we're both going to be fired, we might have had a different... Of course. Hindsight's 20-20. You never know. You can go insane thinking that way. So just to finish my chronology, we both got fired from

there. I was off for two years. He was off for three years. I got hired back by the same company that fired me to host the Easy Rock morning show. With 12 other people? There's a lot of people on that show. How come so many people? Because there was a morning show in Montreal

owned by the same company with four or five wacky French people on there, including a singer and the rock disc jockey, the whatever. And so they basically just cast me as the former rock and roll guy, now grown up. And I'll be honest with you. Hang on, Jesus Christ, I can't move my foot. I'll be honest with you.

I wasn't completely enamored of it. But when you have no job, I was two months away from my contract being out because they paid me for two years, 27 months. Nice. So in the prospect of no job, Easy Rock seems like a good idea. No, it's a major station in Toronto.

Big share, a morning show. No brainer. And then that morphed into Boom, and I was fired two years ago, probably last week, in 2011 on Boom. I was doing a morning show with Colleen Rusho, very talented, beautiful woman.

She's on vinyl, I believe, and that's where... Fresh FM. Fresh FM, where Kelly Catrera does afternoons. Kelly's the afternoon host, and Colleen is the morning show host. Have you ever listened to Kelly on Fresh? You know, I haven't had a chance. I don't, you know, I've got, I have a satellite radio now in my car.

I think everyone should have that. It's a wondrous new technology. You know, about serious. I know we're going to get to that. Maybe, so when you were canned from Boom, you were replaced with Stu Jeffries. Yes, a good friend of mine. Yeah, the same guy you replaced at Easy Rock. Yeah.

And tell me if, I don't know, I might be misremembering, I'm not a young man anymore, but wasn't there a similar situation with Switchback? Am I? No, I never hosted. I hosted, Stu and I both hosted shows on CBC. Okay. I hosted Switchback.

I was a character on it in Vancouver. It was a fun kids Sunday morning show that morphed into a kids talk show. Then he was hosting it in Regina, working with my brother, Steven. Okay. And they had different hosts across the country. You didn't replace him on Switchback. No, although I did. Yes?

I did. So I ended up hosting it in Calgary, or hosting it for Western Canada, Alberta, and BC. And he hosted it for Saskatchewan. Another guy hosted it in Winnipeg. And a guy named Sean... Oh, man, I'm bad with names. Very famous, well, at the time,

a pretty famous Toronto broadcaster, Sean something or other. By the way, the president, of course, was John Cassidy. There you go. Better late than never. So Stu ended up hosting this show called Good Rockin' Tonight. Of course. I remember Good Rockin' Tonight.

And I auditioned for it. Country songs or something. No. No? Rockabilly? No. Good Rockin' Tonight was the big Canada-wide countdown show on CBC. It was a rock show.

Wasn't there Samantha Taylor doing video hits? No. It was very different. Okay. So I auditioned for that. Okay. And he beat me up for that show. All right, so there it is.

There's something else I remember with you and Stu. I just wanted to address the Stu Howard. And Stu took over at Boom, and now Stu's had a couple great years there. So he's still there, right? He's still there. They have a crazy format. They play in the morning. Still there.

They have a crazy format. They play in the morning. It's funny because I'm not sure most people would know that Boom and Virgin and 1010 CFRB are all on the same floor. But the Boom Studios are down the hall from Virgin 99.9. In the Boom Studios playing 10 songs an hour, poor buddy, Stu, operates his own show. There's no producer. There's no content. He just talks in own show. There's no producer. There's no content. He just talks in between songs. There's no Andy Wilson.

Get this. Andy Wilson and a cast of dozens are down the hall on Virgin with Maura, Mad Dog, Steve Roberts, and three different producers. There are six people working on the Virgin show. Pardon me. They're playing four or five songs an hour. Funny. They do a good job. And then there's little Stu all by himself.

You know, I never asked you, and I don't know if you want to comment or not, but why did Billy get canned from the Mad Dog and Billy show? Do you know? You know, I can't really comment. It happened when I was there, but I'm not... I mean... I just remember.

It's not even on my notes. It was a weird thing because she, Maura, was filling in for Billy when Billy was on maternity. When Billy came back, she started working a limited schedule. And then all of a sudden, it became the Maura and Mad Dog and Maura. That's strange because that was a brand. I never listened but I knew this Mad Dog and Billy brand. And you know what? I shouldn't even go any further because honestly I don't

know the details. Billy doesn't listen to my podcast. Don't worry. You mentioned that you have Sirius XM now in your car and you got it all over the place. I have it. Amanda, the woman I just talked to on the phone, who is my girlfriend. I think we had, did we ever say?

Yeah, your lady friend. Lady friend is what I call her. Friend always gets me. Better half. She has had it in her car the last couple of years. And whenever I would borrow the truck, I would listen to Sirius. Now I have it in my car. I got one of those sort of aftermarket.

You just put it in the thing and yeah, I listen. It's amazing, right? Well, you know what I like about it? I like the fact, just like television, if I'm in the mood for to listen, you know, if I want to watch the golf channel, I can do that. On Sirius, I can listen to PGA Tour. If I want to hear, if I want to watch

you know, comedy, I've got four different choices. If I want talk, I've I've got four different choices. If I want talk, I've got five or six different options. To me, that's been my impression of having it full-time now for a couple weeks, is it feels more like television, including, I just found this out, I've got a pause function

on my remote, on my radio remote on Sirius. And it picks up where you left off. You just pause it, you can back it up. You go forward. It's like radio PVR. Well, I gotta say, I'm kind of hurt. I'm not gonna lie to you, but you and Fred promised me an exclusive.

Okay, Fred wrote me. He wrote me an email. I'm gonna get an exclusive. I'm gonna be able to write about some announcement you guys were gonna make before it was out there. They made the announcement before. They didn't even tell us that it was going to be. Well, here's the thing. On the SiriusXM website last Thursday or Friday.

It sounds right. Something like that. All of a sudden, we started getting notes from people saying, hey, are you guys going to be on Sirius? I woke up and I had an email sending me to Saoni. So whatever. Southern Ontario, Western New York radio board. Right, the yellow board guys.

Sony, so whatever. Southern Ontario, Western New York radio board. Right, the yellow board guys. And they're talking about the announcement that XM, Sirius XM has already unveiled that Humble and Fred are part of their new lineup on some Canada. And I promise you, it wasn't, we were surprised because we hadn't finalized.

The release of the announcement's going to happen, I think, tomorrow, May 2nd. When will this podcast be aired? Probably tonight. Probably. Unless you want me to wait until tomorrow. No, it's tomorrow. I don't care. I just want to get it full play through the weekend.

It's all those people on your The Weekend comment. Open mic got it. Open hate. Saoni broke the story, not Toronto Mike. That's the sad truth. It's disastrous. It's disastrous. So when will you write about any of that? Yeah, give me something exclusive, like maybe

some details as to how it works or something. Just give me something. Well, so the announcement is that we are going to do a morning show, not starting at 6. Wait, wait, wait. I wasn't ready. Hold on. Wow. Now you may proceed with the breaking news.

Humble and Fred news. Go. Humble and Fred will be doing a show from 7 to 9 Eastern. It'll repeat for the Western feed at, I believe, 10 a.m. Eastern. It'll repeat for the Western feed at, I believe, 10 a.m. Eastern. So it'll be 7 a.m. in the Pacific. It's the Humble and Fred Radio Show on Sirius XM 168.

168. Right now, Sirius and XM are separate. They're together in the States, but they've been separate in Canada. It comes together May 9th. And the channel Laugh Attack, which is now being rebranded as Canada Laughs, is where we're going to do a show.

And you're going to hook me up with free subscription? Funny you say that. We've already found that all is not grand in satellite land. We'll do the best we can. Honestly, it's funny. You'd think that they would just be throwing subscriptions at us. It's like any other company. It's like you work for Rogers.

You think you get free phones. You don't. Are you telling me Bobcat has to pay for his phone? Absolutely. You know what I heard? That Ted Rogers paid for his phone. Cheap bastard, though. Seriously.

One of the first questions we asked Julie, what's her name? Adams. Thank you. Adam. I met her, so I remember her. Is this going to be the show where people go, you know, and then the early onset Alzheimer's. Honestly, I blanked on three names. Anyway, so here's some stuff.

We're going to do the show from 7 to 9 a.m. Here's the Mike Boone exclusive. You ready? I'm ready. And this might be interesting fodder for your Toronto weekend hate collage. That's RG's fault. It's normally nice. It's not.

Anytime we come up, Dean, not Dean, not Dean. That's my favorite, not Dean. So not not Dean would actually, because it's a double negative in effect, so in actual fact his name is Dean, because Not Not Dean would make it, anyway. Here's the exclusive. On Thursday, May 9th,

probably for the first time, we think it's historic. It may not be, but let's just say it is. I'm so excited. Keep going. In one day, we will do a satellite radio show. It will become a podcast and then be pieced together for a terrestrial radio replay.

That's unprecedented. I think you should hit that thing again. Are you sure? You ready? Yeah, go. That's loud. So there's something that is, I mean, you can, I think that's, we think it's interesting. Is it not interesting? It is interesting.

My question, my first question is, how is Astral cool with this? Like, that's my first question. Okay. Thank you. Because, you know, it's funny. I know some of the guys in your thing don't think we're getting paid by Astral. We have a licensing agreement with them,

and they have licensed our content. So we get a fee, a modest fee, but we get a fee, and we're on four radio stations. They only have market exclusivity where they're employing us. So, like, we couldn't go on another station in St. Catharines. Right. But if they have an astral station in Calgary that doesn't want us, and the chorus station does, we're good to go.

So they don't care where the content originates. And, by the way, Sirius has no problem with it as long as the first play is on Sirius. That's why we think it's never been done because... But Astral doesn't mind that the first play is on another platform. Because right now they don't mind that the first play is on podcasts. If you want to hear the show that we do that runs on those four radio stations, before it runs and you want to hear it unedited,

you can hear it as soon as we get it up on the internet around 1 o'clock. I get back from my swim and at 1 o'clock I'm listening to you guys. So we're already running that material before it runs on Astral. You know, the advantage of us having a satellite play, part of it is optics. Like, for getting guests to tell somebody that, listen, we want you on this show that has the potential to run around North America,

because we're going to be on the U.S. as well. It's just good, because somebody coming through town, a publicist says, hey, I can get you on a national radio show like even the CBC doesn't have a national morning show and you know what it might be modest to begin in terms of numbers but we think you know what we're doing the show

anyway, we're already up to a couple hours a day and most of our podcasts run between 1.45 and 2 hours every day so no harm no foul foul, we think. And also, it'll be good for us. It sounds fantastic. For your advertisers, the more ears they reach,

the more value there is for them. To me, it's simple economics. You can get more for your sponsorship. One thing somebody said on your site about, oh, it'll be another chance to invoice Steve Martell for more money. That's actually right and wrong. What it is, it's a chance for us to bonus Steve Martell and the agency that buys us

for the goodwill of supporting our podcast all these months. So it's a way for us to say, hey, Steve Martell, we're going to bring you along on satellite for a while, and thanks very much. And it must be gratifying because you own this. This is your business. You own this product. You are the bosses of Humble Infrared Radio. We are.

I think it's pretty cool. Well, thank you. I think you're pretty cool. And speaking of cool, I want to get a tiny bit personal just for a moment. I wanted to ask you, we have parallel experiences. We are both with women we love go ahead yeah uh we both

had long marriages that uh we're no longer in i'm not sure i'm wording this the best way but we both have two kids we both live with our girlfriends and uh the first question i have is uh since i we just heard amanda say that you will be at my wedding, I'm getting married June 15, you get any pressure from her to propose? I don't, no, I don't get any. How old is she? She's 29?

She's 28. 28. See, I'm already advancing her. So she's 28. But the way she, I love how she always says, you know, I'm nearly 30. Right, right. That's like I say, I've been pushing her. So she's 28. But the way she... I love how she always says, you know, I'm nearly 30. Right, right.

That's like I say, I'm pushing 40. Fine. Right. So she's 28. I'm just curious if at 28 she has aspirations to be walked down the aisle and to wed the man she's in love with. Let me answer your question. No, she doesn't give me any pressure.

It's something I want to do. You know, I wouldn't have her in my life, especially living with me, and I wouldn't have introduced her to, you know, the world that I'm in. I've got older children, and I don't... You know, yeah, if you're asking if I'm one day going to marry her...

You're clearly very happy with her, and it sounds like she's pretty ideal for you, and... Yeah, because she's pretty ideal for you and uh yeah because she's uh she's a very interesting sort of uh mature beyond her years she's very quirky and even though she's you know very attractive you know the one thing about amanda that is uh disarming is that uh she is a you know she's very pretty but she's also fucking whacked. Like, when you get to know her

and the things that come out of her mouth, that's why I always say to people, you know, one of the reasons, the reason I'm with her is because, you know, she makes me laugh and she's funny and goofy and, you know, the novelty of, you know, being with somebody that pretty, not that it wears off, but it's like,

if that's all there is, it wouldn't have gone on this long. Yeah, you need some substance behind that style. Yeah. So wedding bells are a possibility. Yeah. Are you divorced? Yeah.

Just curious. Are you? Yeah. You better get divorced. I'm trying to get a marriage license. Yeah, I don't know when. She doesn't give me any pressure, but I know that we've talked about it.

And my kids, it's funny because they bring it up. They brought it up recently, independent of any conversation we were having about you or marriage. And they sort of said, if you're going to marry a man, we just want you to know we universally approve. I can cut you a deal.

I already got the venue. I got the officiant and I got the food. I got the officiant, and I got the food. I got the DJ. I'm saying, yeah, if you want to, June 15, we can make it happen. How many people are going to be at your wedding? 120. Jesus, man.

You're doing the full-blown... No, it's an art gallery in the distillery district, so it's not a... It's very nice. It's very cool. You know, Monica... I don't know. Define expensive.

Monica... Normally, you know, Monica, I don't know. Define expensive. Monica. Normally, you know, I mean, back in the day. Like, give me a number you think the whole thing's costing us, and I'll say higher or lower. 120 people? Yeah. So everyone gets an open bar. So it's a couple hundred bucks a head. I think it's going to cost you 24 grand.

But this one's going to be, we're trying to make this a cool, like it's going to be, you know, I'm going to wear a tux and my son's my best man and he's going to be wearing a tuxedo and we're all pretty psyched, but it's going to be cool. Yeah, and I love the distillery district and it sounds like, but you know, and you're going to serve chicken, fish, beef, what do you? Yeah, that's your options. Chicken, fish, or beef. And an open bar.

Open bar, yeah. So you can drink your face off, you know, get a cab can drink Your face off You know get a cab And drink your face off And we'll feed you And we have You know there'll be A dessert table And the DJ

Will that be There'll be some dancing There's a DJ And we have a meeting Speeches Will there be speeches Not too many speeches We're gonna keep

I'm gonna say a few Few succinct words Are you Do you get emotional We're gonna find out I don't know I've been married before But my first wedding was at Old City Hall, and it was the smallest wedding possible.

I don't know what your first wedding was like. My first wedding was me and Dan Duran and a Justice of the Peace. Pretty similar then. No, and the woman that I married. This will be my third marriage. Rosie, my co-host on Toronto Mic'd, was my sponsor and then my ex-wife had a sponsor.

We had two people at the wedding. You mentioned, just briefly you mentioned Dan Duran. Is this Dan Duran right here? This is the humble... Actually,

I played the wrong one, but... No, that's okay. Go ahead. The Humble Report. Yeah, that's Dan Duran. Okay. Yes, you didn't hear

what I said though. This is my third marriage. Oh yeah, you know what? I did miss that. This is my third marriage. Oh, yeah. You know what? I did miss that. This is not good. I'm not Gian Gomeschi at all. He wouldn't have let that slip. Tell me what marriage I don't know about.

I dated a girl in Calgary. This is a great story. Her name is Kathy Wilson. And we sort of, you know, I was in my early 20s, and I guess dating is the wrong word. We just used to have sex. And I went on a houseboat trip with her and had sex in the houseboat. It was great.

And then we sort of realized we didn't want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We just wanted to have sex. And she revealed that she was an American. And when I wanted to move to the States, because we became friends after we just had sex, she would marry me so I could get my green card. Nice. You want to know the coolest part of the story, though?

Tell me. Her mother's sister was Bruce Lee's wife. Get out of here. Shit you not. That is the coolest part. And it was funny because I was such a Bruce Lee fan as a kid. I was, she was talking about Auntie. Wait, Brandon Lee's mother?

Wait. Okay, sorry. You're going to love this story. I'm listening. Brandon Lee's mother was Kathy's, my wife's, first cousin. Wow. The crow. Wait, yeah.

Okay. So when I find out that Kathy, I don't know how it came up in conversation. She was talking about her aunt in LA. I know how it... This is how it came up. She was talking about her aunt, Brandon's mom. And she said something about her aunt living on the same street and being friends with Chuck Norris.

So I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. How is Auntie whatever, Auntie Linda... Auntie Linda... How is she friends with Chuck Norris? She goes, well, my auntie, her husband and Chuck were friends. I'm like, who was her husband? She said, Bruce Lee. I said, you're shitting me. I had a book. Enter the Dragon

or something was the Bruce Lee story. It was a crappy little paperback and I still had it. This is when I was like 23. There is Linda Lee, Kathy's mother's sister. Wait, this story gets better. I'm ready. So I moved to L.A. She moves back to L.A.

And I'm, my roommates are a couple of Canadians, a man and a wife. I met him. He's a Canadian actor and we became friends and I ended up, you know, I'm going to stay at their place when I first moved down there before I get settled. And they lived in an area of L.A. called Echo Park.

So I, uh, the day that Graham is his name, my roommate, Graham and Marcia picked me up from the airport, drive me to their house. They live on the second floor of a house in Echo Park, Los Angeles.

Okay. This is 1985. And there's a guy, there's a motor, we get, we drive up to the, this place and it's a, there's a,

a motorcycle in the front yard and there's a guy playing guitar front yard, and there's a guy playing guitar just hanging out, L.A. guy. And they say, Howard, this is our housemate. The guy lives on the main floor. We live on the second floor. This is Brandon. Wow. Brandon Lee. Wow.

And I said, Brandon, I said, he said something about, you know, I'm like, I recognized him. And he says, well, I'm Brandon Lee. I said, well, this is going to blow your fucking mind because your first cousin is my wife. Wow. That's a crazy story. And you must have been pretty young at that time. 25.

Yeah. 26. Wow. So we call Kathy, who lives in, she lives with her mother, her auntie in like Malibu or something. And we call Kathy and go, you're never going to believe. All the city of Los Angeles. And Brandon was, you know, it's funny because people ask me if I got to know him.

And I said, you know, it's funny because he was by that time sort of famous in Hong Kong. He had started a couple of movies over there before he was in any movies in North America. So he wasn't around very much, and we didn't stay in that location. We very shortly moved to North America. So he wasn't around very much, and we didn't stay in that location. We very shortly moved to North Hollywood. But it was just such a weird thing.

Anyway, so Kathy, I was there six months. We had got a marriage license, got married by Justice of the Peace, and then she calls me up and she says, you know, I've met somebody that I want to marry for real. So we had an annulment, and I never got my green card. And I basically lived there illegally for the

better part of three and a half years. I hope the statute of limitations have expired on that. You know, people ask me how I got away with it. I said, well, let's sort of... There's a lot of illegals. Well, no. I lived in a Mexican neighborhood. I said, this Jewish guy from Moose Jaw is the last one there.

I'm not the one they're looking for. That's right. That's right. I never had any problem. Wasn't that bizarre? That is bizarre. I had no idea. There's a Toronto.

That's an exclusive. There's a Toronto Mike exclusive. I'm honored. Seriously. Seriously. Bruce Lee, briefly, even though he was dead, by marriage, was my uncle-in-law. No, I'm surprised you don't tell that story every day on the podcast, because that's how amazing that story is.

That's great. So you mentioned maybe one day you'll wed Amanda. My question is, and if it's too personal, just nod your head and we'll move on, but you talked openly about getting a vasectomy. And she signed off on this? Yeah, you know, in the short term, and I say short term, you know, I'm open to everything with her. I think I'm going to get a vasectomy on the 24th. And, you know, I've talked about it. I said, you know, if there comes a time when it's absolutely necessary

for you and vital for your existence on this earth that you want to have a baby, I've talked about it. I said, you know, if there comes a time when it's absolutely necessary for you and vital for your existence on this earth that you want to have a baby, I'll have it reversed. I don't want to... I mean, a lot of things about being with a younger woman, she's making a lot of sacrifices for me. Right. And, you know, I worry for her.

I worry that, you know, I don't know, I'm 53 now, and maybe we were out last night and I'm long since worried about what people think about us. But it's a constant in terms of people look at us and we're holding hands. We're like any couple, especially when we're in love. But I know that people must look at it, but it doesn't register with me like it did in the beginning. But I know now, whatever I look like now with her isn't going to get any prettier as I age. But it doesn't seem to matter to her.

So yeah, I'm having a vasectomy. And if someday it becomes vital for her that she has a baby, I guess I would be open to talking about it. No, I'm naturally curious. I don't mind you asking that question. You're going to have a bunch of kids. I've got a 31-year-old, yeah. Monica's 31, and it's going to happen, like, tomorrow. Like, I think

maybe, I don't know, it's going to happen quick. She wants one or two children from me, and I know it. I knew it going in, and if I didn't like that idea, she was going to dump me and try to find somebody else. If it were a priority for Amanda right now

I don't I think she would have to I don't know what she'd think. I don't want you to lose somebody you're so in love with because you can't father her children. She's also I don know, she's also

maybe, I don't think she's the most, she loves my children. But I don't know. I mean, she always jokes and says, you know, she doesn't want to have them. They're annoying. They are annoying, Mike. They're just so annoying. Other people's kids are annoying, but your kids... Nah, they're still annoying when they're babies. You have to take care

of them all the time. That's the woman's job, Howard. Oh, yes. And the Mexican. That's when they're babies. You have to take care of them all the time. That's the woman's job, Howard. It's a lot of work. Oh, yes. And the Mexicans. And that's why we're divorced. And the Mexicans. Good, because you could have gone with the Filipinos. I could have, but I went somewhere different.

Very good, very good. I'm naturally curious, because I'm not allowed to get a vasectomy right now if I want to marry Monica. How about your kids? What are they going to think about it? They're good. James, my oldest.

How old is he now? He's 11. He cares deeply for Monica. They spend time together alone. Monica went to buy him his longboard helmet the other day. And they're great together. And my daughter adores Monica, just loves Monica. But how do you think they're going to feel when Daddy has another kid?

I talk to them. The thing about, and I know you do with your kids who are a bit older, obviously, but I talk to my kids about everything. Like, we've already, they already know they get to vote on names. We've talked about... When the kids are staying here, do you guys still do it? Of course, but we're quiet and they don't know. Of course, of it? Of course, but we're quiet. Of course. We're quiet and they have no idea we're doing it.

That's the way it always is. I got a great story about being caught. My kids don't know what sex is. Your kids know to look for it. Here's what I would do. I would say that my kids love Amanda. My oldest daughter is in university.

My other daughter is going to be in grade 10 next year. And I think that we'll see what life is like as it passes, as time passes. And I don't know. It's also about finances, and it's also about capability and what's going on with our jobs. Sure.

But I know I could say no to this girl. I want you to name your first son Michael. Okay. Thank you. How are we doing, by the way? We're doing good. Now we're going to do rapid fire. I had a blog entry today where I said,

if you have a question for Humble Howard, leave a comment and I'll ask it. So I'm going to rapid fire ask you these. Was there anyone that actually had a question for me? Yeah, there's six questions. Okay. And we'm going to rapid fire ask you these. Was there anyone that actually had a question for me? Yeah, there's six questions and we're going to do it pretty quick here. First of all, I'm told I need to tell you to get right on that mic.

Get right on that mic. That's really funny. Do people know what that's from? I don't do it as much as I used to, but when people are on our show, I always... Who gets pissed off? Corey, is it? Who didn't want to hear it anymore? He said, make a sign? I can't remember. Yeah, somebody got mad at me because I kept saying, just get right on the microphone there.

Okay, so this person's question, I'll just read it. I'd like to know, in his daily life, if he's thinking in the moment that he is creating content for the show, is he aware in the moment that he is creating content? And how does he manage the life versus show aspect in daily life?

That's a very good question. The answer is yes, I am aware. And it started, you know what, it's funny, because it started when I was doing stand-up. And one of my favorite things about stand-up, my least favorite things about stand-up, is once you're doing it, when I did it full-time, you're either, because when you do it full-time,

in a lot of places in the States that I played, I did six and seven shows from Wednesday through Sunday. Some places I did 12 shows from Monday through Sunday. The point is, you're either always about to go on stage or you've just been on stage and everything that happens to you in a day, you go, oh, I can make a bit out of this. It's also

aggravating after a while to be around comics because every time something happens, everyone starts to write shit down. And they'll go, oh, that's my premise. But in a more relaxed way in radio and what we do now on the podcast, yeah, I'm always aware that my visit here or... And sometimes I'll just register it

sort of as a secondary notion. But if something happens, I go, this is great. Like it's an anecdote for tomorrow's podcast. I will write it down. I'll send myself a note in Gmail so that when I get to work in the morning, I'll be like, oh yeah, that thing I wanted to say to Fred. Rosie and I share a Google spreadsheet

and whenever there's an idea for the show that any of us can edit this, you and Fred could share this Google document and it would just be one version that you can both edit anytime from any device. And where does it live? It lives in the cloud, so to speak. So you just log on to your Google?

You've got to show us how to do that. So he'd have to log in as Freddy P. I would log in, yeah, yeah, yeah. Only you two could ever see this. That's how we... That's what I'm reading. See this? This is that.

This is the document that Rosie and I share. It share beautiful thank you okay so that's a very good question actually okay uh how do you feel about toronto radio in 2013 i don't feel very related to it anymore other than us appearing on news talk 10 10 which we do every wednesday i'm gonna leave the the great Toronto Mike after this podcast, go back to our studio, and get on 1010 from 545 to 6 with John Torrey. He can have my sloppy seconds

if he wants to. Exactly. How do I feel about it? Again, I don't relate to it much. I listen to 1010 sort of to get a feel for what the stories in Toronto are. I mostly listen to satellite radio. Or before I got the satellite in my car, I listened to Funny 821 because I love the stand. I love, for anyone who's listening and hasn't heard it, it's great.

And not just because we're on it. I love the stand-up format. And it's a new comic every couple of minutes. The regular radio, the CHFIs and the booms, and it's not being bitter. I'll just say it sounds so old-fashioned to me that I'm relating to it less and less. Now, I know people say, well, if you've got a job offer, well, yeah. That's different. You've got to feed your family. I've got a family to feed.

Plane to fuel? Just barely. Anyway, yeah, I guess I would say by trying to be more succinct is that I don't really relate to it much at all. Okay, this person wrote, Susan, her name is, I'm 30 years old and my boyfriend is 52. Very similar to your situation.

Before we get intimate, he smokes a lot of pot and has trouble getting aroused. From your experience, would you suggest using Viagra or Cialis to help him out with this problem? That's really funny.

So it's the pot makes his weenie not work? Yeah. It's funny because... What do you use, Viagra or Cialis? I use this. This is what I use.

If you've ever seen... For you 52-year-old guys, the next time you see a 28-year-old naked, that's what I use. Nice. Any television stuff coming up with you and freddie p uh no uh not with fred and i i'm still doing a lot of not a lot i'm still doing the occasional video directing thing and uh pitching a couple of different clients on some stuff, but nothing.

You know, the only thing I may have coming up in terms of an appearance outside of the Humble and Fred show is I think I'm being considered for another episode of The Debaters. Nice. Yeah. I listen. That's my station, by the way, CBC Radio 1. You know, I think CBC does a great job. And again, because I like spoken word,

I think John Gomeshi, and I know Fred always talks about him being pretentious. Pretentious, yeah. And you know, that may very well be, but when you want spoken word content and you don't have satellite and you're tired of the sort of news talk, 640 fan, then I think the CBC is a great alternative.

Under the influence and Quirk and Quarks. These are smart shows a great alternative. Under the Influence and Quirk and Quarks. These are smart shows. They are. I mean, I like Quarks and Quarks and I like... I don't hear Jean as much as I used to. I like that. I like long-form interviews. I think he does a great job of them. He's no Mike Boone.

No, he's no Toronto Mike, but he's getting there. Kinder wants to know when he's getting paid. That'll be... That's a long time coming, Kinder. Kinder, fuck. All right, and someone says, I know Howard's an avid golfer, and I'm wondering which courses in and around Toronto

provide good value for your money. Golf courses. I would say, first of all, I don't play anywhere new. I used to play a lot many years ago, but I haven't played very much for a lot of years. But I would say the first thing that comes to mind is there's a course near me in Oakville on Trafalgar just north of the 407 called Piper's Heath.

And for a public golf course that you can call up and play, I think it's around $100 worth of cart. For people in the West End, it's great value for your money. How many episodes of Toronto Mic'd have you listened to from the 35 in the can so far? This will be, including this one. You listened to Fred, right? Didn't you listen to the Fred episode or just parts?

Yes, I did. So this will be number two. This will be number two. So I now know how to get your attention. I need to focus on you. I have to have you as the host to talk about you. What, he just met me? So you wanted to make sure Fred and I weren't slagging you on that episode.

Self-involved? No, I wanted to listen to it to support Fred. And I hadn't really heard a lot. You know, here's what I did. I've heard a bit of you and Rosie from time to time. I've got better since the first few. I hope you listen more. I think you're very, you know what, Boone?

All joking aside. Yes. Has there been any joking? No. I think that you have a natural affinity for this. You're a good conversationalist. You're not a twit. You know, here's the thing.

Yes. You're a curious bear. Yep. And so that's all this job is. Even though I don't have the voice. Your voice is fine. Thanks. That's all I wanted to hear.

But you're interested in things, and so you're interesting to listen to. Thanks, man. Do you want to do a quick, say a quick promo I can edit out later? Like you're listening to Toronto Mike or whatever, like you did, but then you got the buzz. Maybe do it again. What buzz? Your phone vibrated.

Oh, I'm sorry. Right. So you're listening to this city's finest podcast about the city that this man loves. This is Toronto Mic'd. Beautiful. Tell me that didn't give you a boner. I got one. A little chubby.

And that's it, I guess. So you'll be at the wedding. Monica's excited that you're going to join us with Amanda. Fred is going to be at the wedding. Do you want to be at his table, or do you want to be at a different table? I want to be at his table, because I don't function well with new people.

I don't. I'm self-conscious. I'm self-aware. I'm self-absorbed. You're so extroverted. I'm self-conscious. I'm self-aware. I'm self-absorbed. You're so extroverted. I'm not extroverted. It's all an act. And I

say uncomfortable things to people. I either go one or two ways. People are instantly charmed by me or I'll say something that they go, what does that mean? What a dick. Or I don't even mean to be. You know, I'm keenly aware that how I think I come across

is different than how I actually come across sometimes. And I'm always amused and surprised. I'm a big fan. I really like you. No, I know you do, but don't put me with strangers. They'll be like... I'm going to put you in Fred's table.

Don't worry. They'll be like, we had a horrible time at your wedding because Hummel Howard... I'll put Il Duce, you and Fred at the same table. I love Il Duce. Yeah, I'm going to put all the guys I know

or just worship you so they'll only be there just staring at you in awe that they're at the same table. Amanda will start worrying over... When's the wedding? June 15th? Yeah. Yeah, she'll start worrying over what she's going to wear

sometime in the next couple hours. I was going to wrap up, but I just realized I have a real quick question for you. How long does this thing normally go? It depends. Who cares? What do you... I aim for 30 minutes. Oh, buddy, we're way past 30 minutes.

I see, 108. We're going to wrap up real quick, but Brian Burke has sued... He's suing 18 commenters. You've read this, right? Yeah, I saw that. And you're not one of them. I mean, I don't know, like... Are you angered by that?

Yeah. First of all, I never wrote about it. It was a commenter, so I'm assuming the lawsuit would be at... The commenter was literally known as anonymous, and I didn't see anonymous listed. So I just wondered what your thoughts are about this defamation suit.

Like you have been defamed many times online, right? Or no? Yeah, no, I mean... Probably on that yellow board, no? Yeah, it's different. People saying they don't like your show or they think you're lame or stupid or not very good and your guys,

you know, all those people, the things that people say about us on your thing, it's different than someone saying you got somebody pregnant. And I think Brian Burke is, whether he did or didn't, you know, it's a long... It's interesting because it's a... It's a long way to go.

Although there's... Do you think there's something to this? Well, I don't want to talk about it. I will stop recording and tell you because I know a lot. And my brother is recording his podcast next. Oh, okay. It's like a factory. Yeah. So I'm going to stop recording and tell you because I know a lot. And my brother is recording his podcast next. Oh, okay. It's like a factory here.

Yeah. So I'll stop recording and then I'll tell you what I know. And then you have any final words before we wrap up? Well, I just thought that it was an honor to be asked here. Well, thank you for coming. To come to your apartment, to see where you live now with your lovely. And I wish your team the Toronto Maple Leafs. I know you don't like the Leafs, but...

But I do love the Leaf fans. Like Fred and I. Some of my very best friends are Leaf fans, and so I'm always happy for them. I said that on our show, that I've just tested this team for as long as I can remember, but I've always...

I never appreciated the fans until I lived here. I'm super excited. It's been nine years. That's a long time. The Boston Bruins were my team growing up, as I can remember, but I've always, I never appreciated the fans until I lived here. I'm super excited. I, it's been nine years. That's a long time. The Boston Bruins were my team growing up, but I haven't really

followed them for a long time, but they were just kind of like my favorite team. The team I followed, the jerseys that I drew, Jerry Cheevers was my, you know, hockey goalie that I drew.

Yeah, all the stitches, that's cool. The stitches, yeah, man. So all the best to you. Toronto Mike. This music is so funny to me

that you're like you're such an urban dude. You know what? Monica hates this song because she said it's not me. I was going to say, really, when I look at you, it should be a polka or a... Monica, Toronto Mike's music is way too funky for him. It doesn't do that. No, she thinks,

yeah, I don't know. But I know the best part is, I never close, I never ever close to that song. I think I was in the presence of greatness. I was too excited. I always close with some

lowest of the low. All right, let's do it. And that brings us to the end of our show. You can follow me on Twitter at Toronto Mike and Humble at Hum How. See you all next week. Thank you.